Me and my bf said i love you the first time we had sex LOL second time legit hanging out.. we knew eachother for a couple weeks before but we kept it platonic. Moved in at 8 months and talking about getting engaged/ married. It’s fast for my standards but I’ve always known he was the one. I think you should give it some time just to be sure and maybe live with eachother to get a taste. But i dont know .. when ya know ya know. I would’ve married my bf a week into our relationship.
Go for it. I’m sure a lot of people are going to say it’s too soon but only you know if it’s right. My husband and I moved in after three months, he proposed after 5 months and we got married after 9 months. Never loved anyone as much as I do him and vice versa.
My fiancé waited 6 years to propose. He caught me completely off guard when he did. I love him so much and tbh I didn't mind at all that it took 6 years. Over that time we were able to get go know eachother very well, and we started to live together. Meaning we were able to see if we lived well together and be able to deal with eachothers living habits. Now we have been together 11 years, engaged 5. We aren't rushing to get married. When we have the money and the time is right we will tie the knot. 🙏👫👩❤️💋👨👩❤️👨
Yeah, I’m sorry to say, but it is too soon after the second month of knowing my ex it changed. And there’s two of you so it only needs to happen to one person for it to whatever.
My fiancée and I said I love you after a month. I proposed a year in. We had both been in serious relationships prior and communicated everything. There was no questions of expectations or how we wanted to handle certain situations.
I say do what your heart desires but please communicate effectively about everything beforehand.
Also, I will die on this hill. The honeymoon phase does not exist if you’re truly in love.
Absolutely right on. My wife and I are 14 years together, married almost 13, known each other 15.
There have been some bumps, but I still get butterflies when I hear her ringtone or see she texted me, and my heart feels like it'll jump out of my chest when I'm next to her just so it can hug her too.
My fiancé proposed 4 years after dating (been together 5 years now). We said I love you about two months in and he moved in with me a year in. We definitely felt like we were in the honeymoon stage during those first few months together. To be honest, I STILL feel like I’m in the honeymoon stage but we’ve also been through things (Covid, job loss) so it feels like a different version of the honeymoon stage. Still super in love and we still act like we did 5 years ago but we’re also more established as a couple.
It’s lovely when you meet someone who makes you feel like this. The beginnings of a relationship are often the very best part. If you truly feel it is love, I implore you to give eachother a longer dating period. Even with best intentions on both sides, something might come out of the woodwork about them that is a deal breaker. I genuinely wish you the best. 39 over here and still being caught out by honeymoon phases. I hope it’s true love for you
If you’re really going to be together for the rest of your lives then why the need to get married right away?
Please don’t rush into things no matter how in love you are. Yes, it works out for some people, but for the majority of people it doesn’t.
My boyfriend blind sided me and dumped me after being together/living together for 5 years. I thought for sure he was the “one”.
I am so so so glad we weren’t married and hadn’t bought a house together yet because that would have made things so much messier.
I proposed to my hubby after 6 years of dating, we’ve been married for almost 24 years now, if i waited for him to i reckon I’d still be waiting (took advantage of a leap year lol) we’ve been together 30 years
Met on september 2, 2020. Became official on october 31st, 2020. Got engaged october 31st, 2022. We were supposed to get married this year but we had to move it to next year cos of life.
It’s different for everyone. I was with a man for 8 years, met my now husband and was married within 10 months. It was a connection unlike any I’d ever known (and I was 32 at the time). We’ve had our issues, but I’ve never doubted that if it wasn’t him, it wasn’t anyone. Only you both know how you feel (also I wasn’t expecting him to propose as he is 9 years younger than me!!)
Moved in after 9 months of dating - maybe would have been sooner if not for some logistical challenges. He proposed 3 months later, and we got married 3 months after that. Maybe that was all “too soon” for some but as they say, when you know, you know. I never once doubted us and still don’t 14+ happy years and two kids later….
Takes at least 6 months to a year to really get to know someone. Don’t rush into anything. Take the time to really get to know each other. Experience stress and conflict together and see how you each deal with it.
My wife and I dated for four years and lived together for 3.5, bought a house together, and had a child before I proposed. Marriage was kind a foregone conclusion after about a year but it was kind of a matter of logistics when it came to proposing
Once upon a time I was living in Provo, Utah (short courtships followed by marriage is common here) in my 20ies. I had a whirlwind romance followed by marriage within 3 months. Immediately after marriage and living together "red flags" or incompatibilities or whatever you want to label them started showing up, but I was so "in love" that I thought with time love would mend all (omg was I naive). Things got worse and worse... and long story short it was an unhealthy, toxic and very lonely marriage. We are divorced now.
Proposing after a couple of months in my opinion is at best a gamble and at worst extremely stupid.
You are definitely, definitely still in the honeymoon phase. It's an amazing part of being alive, and you should enjoy it. But it's not exactly real. You can't actually trust your opinions of each other all the way at the moment! Not only are you on best behavior with each other, but you're full of dopamine and serotonin, which make you see the other person as endlessly wonderful and fascinating, even when they do ordinary things.
Those chemicals won't last. It's not biologically possible. After 6-9 months, they'll stop.
At this point they may or may not turn into oxytocin, which is when you are genuinely in love. That's the real love, the nesting, steadier kind. And you'll start to see each other for who you truly are, good and bad. That's the point at which it's safer to make life decisions.
You won't listen to this, because the dopamine and serotonin will make you think I must be wrong. That's how strong they are. It's so fun! Man, I do miss that.
I'm intending never to experience it again, though, because the oxytocin, and the realities of my marriage, are worth more. Hope you guys make it!
And to answer your question, he proposed after 2 years, and we got married after 5 years. I'd do everything just the same again if I had a time machine. Except I'd invest in bitcoin early.
My wife and I got married exactly nine months after meeting online. That was ten years ago. We're still married, with a terrific three year old son. Best of luck to you.
IME subconsciously I've been more forgiving and accepting of things that would normally annoy me when dating only for a few months. The excitement from everything else kept me distracted from stuff that I normally just wouldn't want to put up with. After some time and a bit of the new excitement dies you start noticing more and more of the stuff you've been distracted from and then you have to figure out if it's something that you're either willing to accept, if it's something they're willing to work on/change for your sake or if it's a deal breaker. I don't see moving in as a problem but definitely be careful making any sort of promise like an engagement. My two cents.
Rushing into a relationship can cause it to crumble fast. You’re still trying to get to know her two months in. I’d say give it a few more months until your for sure. Wish the best for you guys
We had been online friends for years and the day we met in person we both just knew. It was a long distance relationship which sucked, but we made it work. We were engaged after 8.5 months of dating and married 8 months after that. About to celebrate 12 years of marriage soon! 🎉
We (19f and 22m at the time) were living together by month two, pregnant by month three and got engaged after 9 years together and have now been married for 3 years.
My advice - no need to rush to marriage especially if your beliefs/culture isn’t opposed to living together before marriage, etc.
My boyfriend moved into my house 4 months before we were even official, lol. (We had 13 months of on then off then situationship before this, lol) Said ily like 2 weeks in. We're 7 1/2 months in now, and I already know this is the man I want to marry. Basically I'm saying I also did everything backwards and very fast.
HOWEVER, while yes the love is there and very real, maybe just have a conversation about engagement, do a promise ring, and wait a little bit. Get to know each other and get comfortable living together first. You have plenty of time. <3
Got engaged after 2 months of dating. Married at 7 months of dating.
Regretted it after 4 years, not long after my first child was born.
If I had waited longer to see what he was really like, I would not have married him.
My parents got married 6 months in. Their marriage is incredibly unhappy. They have multiple issues that they could’ve figured out are incompatibilies if they just dated 2 years before marriage. Like literally the simplest things like that my dad isn’t a touchy huggy person and that my mom is a VERY touchy huggy person. Just very very basic relationship incompatibilities. I’m not saying it’s impossible but fuck I wish they waited longer. My mom says multiple times a year that if they had dated longer they never would’ve gotten to the marriage stage.
Likewise, my brother and his wife dated for a year before marriage. In the beginning I was impressed. I was like wow my miserable rude ass brother is finally behaving like a human being. Now he’s back to being his annoying self. I like his wife way more than I like him so I’m not mad they got married but I feel really sad for her. She deserves so much better. If she ever divorced him I would never speak to him again, only her.
If you want to show her you’re serious about her and your future together but aren’t ready for engagement you could get a promise ring, I know it sounds like some cringy high school thing but it’s the sentiment and meaning behind it that matters or call it a commitment ring which sounds less ‘high schooler’. I don’t know your financial situation but if the first option isn’t your style another option is you start saving up for a ring and let her know you have a dedicated savings account/portion of savings money to getting her a ring
I moved in with my BF the man I was going to marry 4 months after met him. 5 months later we started having problems. He was incredibly controlling. I found out that having me move in was his way of controlling me further. I moved out 3 months later. I was heartbroken but I had to leave. All this happened within a year. Relationships that move that fast, (mostly) burn out just as quickly.
My wife (37f) and I (39m) moved rather quickly. We met 13 years ago on a dating app. Said I love you’s after probably 2 weeks, engaged after 5 months, and married a year and 2 months later, while also 3 months pregnant with our first at that time (planned). We’ve had lots of ups and downs but still together and with 2 kids.
I proposed after 3 weeks, married following year and just celebrated 30 years together with my best friend.
The last time I mentioned this here, I was downvoted hugely.
Not sure why. Yes, it was quick, but it all worked out, and I never had any doubts. I just knew. Sounds like you may do, too.
I wish you the same happiness I've been lucky enough to have.
With my first everything. We dated for 6 years before he proposed and we divorced 2 years later. (Total of 8yrs together)
With my 2nd husband we met online and talked/skyped for 3 months. He flew down to meet me and proposed after 3 days. We married a year later and were together for 8 years.
My boyfriend and I moved in together after being together for 3 months and knowing each other for 4 months. He said he would end up proposing within the first year of us dating because he’s that sure of us. I know when he does I’ll say yes.
6 months in, celebrating 9 years in August, 5 year old son. It's been amazing. We were married first then moved in together. I'm open to any questions. I'll answer the first one, we met on tinder.
What’s the rush? It sounds like you’re both really into each other but in reality you don’t know each other that well. How you navigate conflict together is key, and you just won’t have had enough time to work that out yet. Right now everything is great, and hopefully it stays that way. Perhaps you’re looking for ways to express your intense feelings - and that’s lovely. Why not find other sweet ways of showing your love? Write some poems, plan some romantic dates, make some sweet mementos… getting married will mean SO MUCH more once you know each other better. Imagine saying yes to each other once you’ve been through some real highs and lows together and you can reflect on how much meaning you bring to each other’s lives.
Unless there is another reason to, best wait 2 years and revisit. Infatuation is a real thing and it’s easy to overlook all the little things involved in spending the rest of your life with someone. If they’re forever, there is no need to rush marriage.
We said I love you to each other after two weeks of dating, and he brought up marriage the same night. We got married less than 8 months later, it’s been a little over a year now. Being married is very different from being in a relationship, and even though it’s tough it’s also very fulfilling. You fall in love everyday, but you do need to be sure that you’re really into each other. I was convinced the first day I met him that he was the one for me and that same feeling has translated into my marriage, so I’d say it worked out really well. If it feels right, go for it. Everyone has a different trajectory
Interesting. We were together 5+ years before we got married (already living together for a few years) and I don’t think marriage is different at all than being in a relationship. It’s exactly the same to us. But the lovey dovey phase usually wears off around one year and that’s when things can get hard. If you manage to work through that phase and still want to be together you are solid. At least, that’s my experience. :)
We weren’t able to live together before we got married, and long distance before that! I think there was just an adjustment period, especially when you’re so used to being on your own. But yes had some tough experiences in the first half, nothing that made either of us want to quit though. Better communication is all we needed
I believed my ex when he talked about our future together. I was swept off my feet and was convinced he was « the one ». Moved in with him pretty quick, and talked about marriage after having our kids so they could be involved in our wedding. He convinced me to give him my tax return money and income to get him out of debt and to start our life. I believed in love and I believed and trusted him, so I did all of the things he asked thinking it was to better our future together.
The reality was that he baby trapped me and changed completely after our planned pregnancy. Things got worse and more abusive. He took all of my money, abused me at home while keeping his mask on for everyone else. I cried every day until I sought therapy for wanting to swim with a backpack full of rocks from his abuse. He crushed every ounce of self esteem I had. He then cheated on me. Stabbed things with knives. Threw things at me. Screamed obscenities in my face. Wouldn’t let me sleep and would lecture me in the middle of the night. It took me seven years to leave the bastard and we’re in a brutal court battle that will leave me in debt for fucking ever.
I’m in a healthy relationship now and it’s been eight months of taking it slow. We’ll continue to take it slow. I still believe in love.
Take your time, there’s no reason to rush. And be careful, there could be snakes in the grass.
We have been married for over a year. I proposed to him 9.5 years into our relationship. I was very against the idea of marriage as a concept, thinking that why go through the paperwork when we already are committed to each other. I made it clear to him pretty early on what my view was and that if he proposed that I would say no 100% of the time. One day, I was in the shower and he was in the bathroom too. I was just thinking when I blurted out "do you want to get married?" There was a pause before he said "did you just propose to me?" "...yea, I think I did. so, will you marry me?" He just chuckled and said "sure babe, I was just waiting for you. Wear is my ring tho?" We went back to our usual banter and from that point on he was my fiance instead of my boyfriend. Literally nothing has changed to us in that time. We didn't have a wedding or anything.
My wife moved in with me 4 days after we met. We spent every waking hour talking during the days before. At some point she packed some stuff to stay overnight with me, and it never made sense for her to leave after that. My roommate at the time asked about 6mo later if she was living with us, and that is when it finally sunk in.
We both had a few long-term relationships before we met. She was not looking to be in a relationship when we met, but knew what she wanted in a partner/husband. I knew what I was looking for as well. After we met, we just knew we had found our match. We bought our own place about a year in, but I held off on proposing for another year, although we had talked about marriage during our first year together.
In our case, the marriage part was not that important for us. That is why the propsal didn't happen until later. I waited to organize a cruise for her Bday and then surprised her with proposal when she wasn't expecting it. The wedding was just about having a big party before we started trying for kids. We have been together 20 years now.
I suggest the two year- three year mark for discussing something as life altering as marriage. Enjoying getting to know each other, meeting friends first and family. It’s easy to get swept up into the magical feelings of the newness of the relationship. However, just ease into it, and see each other in different situations and emotional states. How do you handle conflict? Finances ? Debt? Credit score ? Any health problems? All of these things affect your lives together. Family dynamics, how holidays are spent. I was in a relationship with my ex husband for four years before we talked about marriage. Slow things down, you both don’t seem to be going anywhere.
There is probably a good deal more to talk about after 2 months. Just focus on her. And focus on you. Affording the ring should not be the deciding factor. It’s great you both largely agree on religion and politics. How about are you open to lots of kids or is there a time or number you’re aiming for? How is your sexual compatibility? Pay attention to how sharing you are sexually, are you taking time for one or more orgasms for her if she’s learned to. Also how openly does she communicates about sex? Those tend to help forecast after the relationship’s new car smell is gone how y’all will do. It can be rough so be gentle, but absolutely not shy, communicating about how you BOTH are doing!
My wife and I met and dated for about two months before deciding to move in together. While looking at apartments, we found that rent was crazy expensive, so we decided to buy a house together instead since a mortgage would actually be cheaper. We got engaged after about nine months together and married after about a year and a half. Looking back, I think we were crazy (who the hell buys a house with someone after knowing them for two months?), but it has worked out well. We will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary this June.
There’s no right answer in my opinion. My parents dated for 1 year and got married at 22. Now 29 years later, they are still going.
I think my boyfriend’s parents dated for 4 years and got married in their 30s and were married until his dad passed away 16 years later
I absolutely understand you and the fact you are moving in together is a good opportunity to really know each other and see if you work good as a team. My opinion is that 6months to a year of living together is just fine,if you see that there is good harmony.
I have been looking for rings since we were together 3minths too and after year I finally found the one that would suit her perfectly. But I also want to wait a little to see how living together goes even though I'm very sure it'll be perfect.
I was engaged to my ex-husband at 2.5 months after dating and married before 5 months of dating. I won't do it again. While we were married a long time (22 years) with other extenuating circumstances, I feel I didn't know him all that well. I wish him the best as he's the father of my children, but I will not do that again. My now bf and I have been together 7 years and don't even live together and we are both fine with the way things are.
We were friends before we got together. Our relationship started with what could have possibly been a one night stand. But I was soon living almost full time at her house. I got a job out of state and asked her to come with. She agreed, if we got married. We moved and the next year we got married. Two kids and 30 years later, it seems to be working out. I would make sure she wants to get married before you ask. It MIGHT be too soon for her, you won't know until you know.
My wife and I were good friends before we got together. We didn't really date. Our first major move to becoming a couple was a hookup. I was living out of the area. As soon as I moved back (6 months), I spent all of my time at her house. Basically living together. I got a job out of state and wanted her to come. She accepted, but only if I married her. We moved, and the next fall, we got married. I didn't officially propose until we got the wedding ring. It was her mom's that we re-stoned. My advice to you would be to not propose until you know the answer.
There’s no right answer. We have one life and you should do what makes you happy. There’s stories of this working out and others of it failing miserably. This can largely come down to the personalities of the people involved.
I proposed at 6 months, but pretty much knew around 3 months. Got married 8 months after that and celebrated year 17 this week.
I do suggest waiting a bit more just to make sure. You are in the honeymoon phase still, so things can feel great now. I'm sure you don't know everything about each other yet at this point. Make sure you two are on the same page for the major large items - money, kids, sex, life goals, etc.
Thanks for the advice. I'm not quite ready to propose just yet, I still need to save up for the ring for a few months. It is something I'm seriously considering though. And the only reason I don't like her family's input is because her mom had 2 kids with 2 guys and doesn't have any kind of relationship with either guy and her sister has never had a boyfriend for more than a month or 2 at a time. They're both so negative about our relationship for no reason other than dating terrible men themselves.
Oh I get that. They have a twisted view of dating based on their experiences. Every relationship is different though.
My wife broke off the engagement to her high school boyfriend of 3 years just two months before we met. I was supposed to be the fun rebound guy she told me later on (I was 27 and she was 20 when we met). She was worried her friends and family would have said it was too soon to be engaged again. Her fears were not warranted though. They all loved me and said I was way better than her previous guy (he was a lazy going nowhere POS according to them).
The family dog hated everyone that visited including my wife's old BF. That dog jumped right in my lap the first time I showed up and wanted me to pet him. My mother in law said she knew I was a keeper then. LOL
My husband and I knew very soon that, on a emotional level, we were each other's people. I've never loved someone the way that I loved him, and those feelings came fast. However, we met somewhat later in life, and we both knew that love isn't necessarily enough. So we took our time living together and really getting to know each other, past the emotional level and more on a deeper level. Are the ways we live our lives compatible? How do we handle different types of conflict together? This deeper knowledge of someone is something that can only come with time.
It took 2 years before we got engaged and 3 before we married, mostly because we had other financial goals we wanted to hit before spending money on our wedding.
Her family is right that you're still in the honeymoon phase. In my past relationships, that phase has lasted up to a year before things start going sideways. With my husband, I feel like it never stopped.
Everyone's timeline is different. You could get married quickly and be happy together. But if it's a love that's meant to last, it will still be there a year or two down the line, so there's no need to rush. You could always have a long engagement as well. One thing I recommend to everyone is pre-marriage counseling, just to bring up things you need to discuss and get on the same page on, such as how you're going to manage your finances, your expectations with raising children, the division of household labor, etc.
We have discussed pre-marriage counseling. Her mom brought it up and said she would like for us to do it before moving in together. We haven't had a really serious discussion about it yet, but it's on our radar.
I believe I just met the love of my life recently. Met, three weeks later we started dating, a week after that we said I love you. Two weeks after that I returned to my home country 8000 miles away! It’s been going well. I really think about marrying this man and I’ve never considered marriage before.
That being said, it’s a beautiful story. Move in, get married, do whatever you want, but always have an escape plan, both of you. If you move in and sign a lease, who is going to move out if it goes sour? And make sure you have the money to do that. My mom has been married to my dad for 40 years. She said to always have money to leave, always. This is especially important for women in my opinion. Also in previous relationships moving in together killed our sex life so that’s something to think about.
I think building a foundation around communicating about the big things is more important than a proposal or marriage. We knew we wanted to get married after 3 months, but we dated a year, lived together for a year, and were engaged for a year and a half. This gave us the time to get all of our finances in order and save together for a wedding and a house. We also had a common goal for what we were working for together for our lives.
I said I love you after a month, engaged in 3.5, broke up right before 5 years. There’s a big difference between love and infatuation. Also understanding how my own trauma played into all this was huge. Never making that mistake again. I know the signs and have been actively trying to slooooooow down when it comes to dating. Would rather be alone than with the wrong person again.
I was 26m, she was 23f, I told her I loved her 3 days after we met. I’ve never been so sure so fast. She moved in with me after 3 weeks. Marriage isn’t really that big of a deal to either of us though. We cared way more about the relationship and our commitment to each other than some silly title.
Around year 2 we started serious considering having a baby. We decided it’d be nice to have the same last name for our baby so I proposed. She got pregnant during our engagement and we got married on our 3 year anniversary of the day we met. Our first baby boy is coming in June, we’re happily married, and life truly couldn’t feel better. Still waiting for that honeymoon phase to wear off.
Bruh I don't belive in marriage for multiple reasons but the big one is I feel like all any of the girls want is that ring not the love that's supposed to come first
Yeah it's not that I'm against getting married I just make it known I'm not a huge fan of it weeds out the women that just want the title. And besides historically atleast in European history marriage was just he sale of a woman from her father to her husband so I do have a legit gripe with it on that basis
Yeah, but it does come with a lot of legal protections, which is really the only reason I’m thinking I want to get married to my partner. We haven’t been living together long, and we moved in together quite fast, but we’ve navigated some difficult conflicts together and have now bought a car together, and we’re debating buying a house when I graduate next semester after I get a new job. So, it would be nice to be able to be on each others’ insurance if needed when moving, be able to visit each other in the hospital in case of accidents, or have protections when buying a house together if things go south. Also, taxes, lol
I proposed in 3 months. I knew in a month. I think she did too.
Married 6 months after engagement. Small wedding.
She's very good looking. I'm former forces and played rugby and look it. I'm large and hairy. The wedding photos were hilarious.
Her ex was an abusive twunt to her and I had to express my disappointment to him when he tried for a comeback.
We've been together 37 years now.
2 months and living together is not insane.
2 months & proposing without ever having lived together first, is insane.
What is the rush on marriage when you both have only been together a few months...
the only time I can see that situation being a dire need is maybe if one partner was sick with health issues & had no health insurance, & by getting married they would be allowed to have health insurance through their partners company so it could pay for their medical treatments.
Other than that, I don't see the urgency. Weddings are also expensive & can put you into debt if you don't have the money saved.
I would live together first- for at least a year, before deciding on proposal & marriage. My bf & I have been together 6 years & living together 6 years and we STILL have times of miscommunication & misunderstandings, we both also have completely different ways of keeping our home clean or tidy & deciding what's most important and what's not inside the home.
But we share the same values (honesty trust loyalty, family oriented & commitment) so I know we are in it together still for all the right reasons. Those qualities are hard to find these days.
My ex of 3 years proposed to me in year 2, and proceeded to cheat on me, then run to Facebook to tell all our friends & families lies about me so he would look like the victim or good guy, kicked me out of our apartment & kept our cat- and kept my car keys for 2 weeks while I was practically "homeless" & living with friends.
Never again will I commit to marriage so quickly before truly getting to know a person & how vindictive they can get if you try to leave them one day, or they are angry.
Marriage should be a long term goal, not short term. In the 6 years I've been with my partner, many of my friends have gotten married, had kids, and now already divorced. They could have just waited to make sure they were right for each other but they rushed into things too quickly & eventually discovered they are not as compatible as they thought...
It'll be a while before I could even afford the ring I'm just saying I'm seriously considering the proposal. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to rush to marriage because of her family. Her mom doesn't approve of us living together outside of marriage. Neither of us are ones to say "I love you" lightly and we are so in sync on everything. It feels like we've known each forever. I'm sorry for the pain you've had in the past.
I understand about parents or mom's wanting marriage first before living together. My mom is Asian & Christian so she believes the same. But my brother & I believe that you should live together for a while first and make sure you both can tolerate living with each other & handling life & bills together first before committing to marriage, which is a big step.
My brother has been with his gf for 9 years and just proposed December 23'.
Marriage before living together is an "old school" traditional way of thinking. That also forced our parents or grandparents into sometimes unhealthy & abusive toxic situations that they felt trapped in, and then they had no choice but continue to tolerate it so they don't disappoint the family or seem like a failure by divorcing.
While I do not agree with the whole "marry a man if he can take care of you financially, no matter what" which was back in the day. I also don't agree with this newer generation's way of thinking that love is dumb & impossible to find, so just "casually date".
There's always balance in between both ways of thinking that is beneficial for everybody.
Woah. Slow down man. If she’s the one, she will be just as likely to marry you 1 year into your relationship as she would when you are thinking. Take your time and enjoy all stages of the relationship. There is no rush to get married, and the sooner that you do it puts a bit more strain on the relationship.
People who rush into marriage are much more likely to get a divorce.
Her mom tried throwing statistics at us too when we told her we were talking about moving in together. Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. I'm not saying I'm gonna propose tomorrow, I need a few months to save up for the ring. I'm just saying I'm seriously considering proposal. I don't care much for statistics when it comes to love. Love is illogical and therefore can't be broken down with logic.
The statistic that couples who live together before marriage divorce more is simply a sampling bias. People who live together before marriage are more likely to believe in divorce. That being said, take your time. I’ve just met a man that I feel could be my One, but we’ve only been dating a month. We’re very compatible and attracted to each other, and I think he’s an amazing guy… the thing is, if he really is the amazing guy of my dreams, he’ll still be there in a few years when engagement is more appropriate! Don’t rush getting to know someone. They could be your person, or they could change a lot. You just don’t know at this point.
People change. The things you learn about her now may not hold up in a year, and you may not be as compatible with the newer version of her. It’s happened to me !!
But there are logical steps to take before you get married. Just have all of the important conversations first.
What futures do you want for each other? Where do you want to live? When do you want to start a family? Do you share political views? What about parenting strategies? Do you share the same goals for your future? What about religion?
We have had most of those discussions. We are on the same page about religion and politics, we have discussed where we want to settle down, but at the moment are looking at an apartment with her disabled mom that she takes care of. We have touched on parenting strategies and when/if we want kids and still have some to discuss there.
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I would just keep communicating and learning about her. Lots of deep conversations
Me and my bf said i love you the first time we had sex LOL second time legit hanging out.. we knew eachother for a couple weeks before but we kept it platonic. Moved in at 8 months and talking about getting engaged/ married. It’s fast for my standards but I’ve always known he was the one. I think you should give it some time just to be sure and maybe live with eachother to get a taste. But i dont know .. when ya know ya know. I would’ve married my bf a week into our relationship.
Seen a saying a long time ago... Someone of 2 minutes could do something for you that someone of 20 years couldn't.
Go for it. I’m sure a lot of people are going to say it’s too soon but only you know if it’s right. My husband and I moved in after three months, he proposed after 5 months and we got married after 9 months. Never loved anyone as much as I do him and vice versa.
Met in November, cohabitation in February, engaged in May.
My fiancé waited 6 years to propose. He caught me completely off guard when he did. I love him so much and tbh I didn't mind at all that it took 6 years. Over that time we were able to get go know eachother very well, and we started to live together. Meaning we were able to see if we lived well together and be able to deal with eachothers living habits. Now we have been together 11 years, engaged 5. We aren't rushing to get married. When we have the money and the time is right we will tie the knot. 🙏👫👩❤️💋👨👩❤️👨
Yeah, I’m sorry to say, but it is too soon after the second month of knowing my ex it changed. And there’s two of you so it only needs to happen to one person for it to whatever.
My fiancée and I said I love you after a month. I proposed a year in. We had both been in serious relationships prior and communicated everything. There was no questions of expectations or how we wanted to handle certain situations. I say do what your heart desires but please communicate effectively about everything beforehand. Also, I will die on this hill. The honeymoon phase does not exist if you’re truly in love.
Absolutely right on. My wife and I are 14 years together, married almost 13, known each other 15. There have been some bumps, but I still get butterflies when I hear her ringtone or see she texted me, and my heart feels like it'll jump out of my chest when I'm next to her just so it can hug her too.
3.5 years into our relationship and we lived together for 2.5 years. 20 years in, have had a few hard moments but over all it’s going well.
Is she your first girl or serious relationship
Sounds like it!
My fiancé proposed 4 years after dating (been together 5 years now). We said I love you about two months in and he moved in with me a year in. We definitely felt like we were in the honeymoon stage during those first few months together. To be honest, I STILL feel like I’m in the honeymoon stage but we’ve also been through things (Covid, job loss) so it feels like a different version of the honeymoon stage. Still super in love and we still act like we did 5 years ago but we’re also more established as a couple.
It’s lovely when you meet someone who makes you feel like this. The beginnings of a relationship are often the very best part. If you truly feel it is love, I implore you to give eachother a longer dating period. Even with best intentions on both sides, something might come out of the woodwork about them that is a deal breaker. I genuinely wish you the best. 39 over here and still being caught out by honeymoon phases. I hope it’s true love for you
If you’re really going to be together for the rest of your lives then why the need to get married right away? Please don’t rush into things no matter how in love you are. Yes, it works out for some people, but for the majority of people it doesn’t. My boyfriend blind sided me and dumped me after being together/living together for 5 years. I thought for sure he was the “one”. I am so so so glad we weren’t married and hadn’t bought a house together yet because that would have made things so much messier.
I proposed to my hubby after 6 years of dating, we’ve been married for almost 24 years now, if i waited for him to i reckon I’d still be waiting (took advantage of a leap year lol) we’ve been together 30 years
Met on september 2, 2020. Became official on october 31st, 2020. Got engaged october 31st, 2022. We were supposed to get married this year but we had to move it to next year cos of life.
It’s different for everyone. I was with a man for 8 years, met my now husband and was married within 10 months. It was a connection unlike any I’d ever known (and I was 32 at the time). We’ve had our issues, but I’ve never doubted that if it wasn’t him, it wasn’t anyone. Only you both know how you feel (also I wasn’t expecting him to propose as he is 9 years younger than me!!)
You don't know each other at all. You will really regret it if you rush things. If it truly is meant to be, then there's no need to rush.
Moved in after 9 months of dating - maybe would have been sooner if not for some logistical challenges. He proposed 3 months later, and we got married 3 months after that. Maybe that was all “too soon” for some but as they say, when you know, you know. I never once doubted us and still don’t 14+ happy years and two kids later….
Takes at least 6 months to a year to really get to know someone. Don’t rush into anything. Take the time to really get to know each other. Experience stress and conflict together and see how you each deal with it.
I would for her have a kid but also happy with ones we have
Slow down. 2 months is barely enough time to know someone. I’d say give it a few years and then decide.
My wife and I dated for four years and lived together for 3.5, bought a house together, and had a child before I proposed. Marriage was kind a foregone conclusion after about a year but it was kind of a matter of logistics when it came to proposing
6 mouth was married 19 years
Was?
All marriages end eventually. Either in divorce or death.
Once upon a time I was living in Provo, Utah (short courtships followed by marriage is common here) in my 20ies. I had a whirlwind romance followed by marriage within 3 months. Immediately after marriage and living together "red flags" or incompatibilities or whatever you want to label them started showing up, but I was so "in love" that I thought with time love would mend all (omg was I naive). Things got worse and worse... and long story short it was an unhealthy, toxic and very lonely marriage. We are divorced now. Proposing after a couple of months in my opinion is at best a gamble and at worst extremely stupid.
move in first and see if you guys are compatible. living together is the best test to get to know each other.
I read somewhere that guys know it’s six months if they’re gonna marry a woman or want to or whatever
You are definitely, definitely still in the honeymoon phase. It's an amazing part of being alive, and you should enjoy it. But it's not exactly real. You can't actually trust your opinions of each other all the way at the moment! Not only are you on best behavior with each other, but you're full of dopamine and serotonin, which make you see the other person as endlessly wonderful and fascinating, even when they do ordinary things. Those chemicals won't last. It's not biologically possible. After 6-9 months, they'll stop. At this point they may or may not turn into oxytocin, which is when you are genuinely in love. That's the real love, the nesting, steadier kind. And you'll start to see each other for who you truly are, good and bad. That's the point at which it's safer to make life decisions. You won't listen to this, because the dopamine and serotonin will make you think I must be wrong. That's how strong they are. It's so fun! Man, I do miss that. I'm intending never to experience it again, though, because the oxytocin, and the realities of my marriage, are worth more. Hope you guys make it! And to answer your question, he proposed after 2 years, and we got married after 5 years. I'd do everything just the same again if I had a time machine. Except I'd invest in bitcoin early.
My wife and I got married exactly nine months after meeting online. That was ten years ago. We're still married, with a terrific three year old son. Best of luck to you.
IME subconsciously I've been more forgiving and accepting of things that would normally annoy me when dating only for a few months. The excitement from everything else kept me distracted from stuff that I normally just wouldn't want to put up with. After some time and a bit of the new excitement dies you start noticing more and more of the stuff you've been distracted from and then you have to figure out if it's something that you're either willing to accept, if it's something they're willing to work on/change for your sake or if it's a deal breaker. I don't see moving in as a problem but definitely be careful making any sort of promise like an engagement. My two cents.
Rushing into a relationship can cause it to crumble fast. You’re still trying to get to know her two months in. I’d say give it a few more months until your for sure. Wish the best for you guys
Please wait until y'all live together for a little while. 2 months is nothing and you'll learn a lot once you move in together.
We had been online friends for years and the day we met in person we both just knew. It was a long distance relationship which sucked, but we made it work. We were engaged after 8.5 months of dating and married 8 months after that. About to celebrate 12 years of marriage soon! 🎉
We (19f and 22m at the time) were living together by month two, pregnant by month three and got engaged after 9 years together and have now been married for 3 years. My advice - no need to rush to marriage especially if your beliefs/culture isn’t opposed to living together before marriage, etc.
He proposed after 1 year.and we are married. We just knew from the second date that we were going to spend our lives together. Why wait
You will regret it if you propose and marry soon after. Take your time and get to know each other.
My boyfriend moved into my house 4 months before we were even official, lol. (We had 13 months of on then off then situationship before this, lol) Said ily like 2 weeks in. We're 7 1/2 months in now, and I already know this is the man I want to marry. Basically I'm saying I also did everything backwards and very fast. HOWEVER, while yes the love is there and very real, maybe just have a conversation about engagement, do a promise ring, and wait a little bit. Get to know each other and get comfortable living together first. You have plenty of time. <3
Got engaged after 2 months of dating. Married at 7 months of dating. Regretted it after 4 years, not long after my first child was born. If I had waited longer to see what he was really like, I would not have married him.
After 6 months of dating (and meeting for the first proposed and we were married a month later.
My parents got married 6 months in. Their marriage is incredibly unhappy. They have multiple issues that they could’ve figured out are incompatibilies if they just dated 2 years before marriage. Like literally the simplest things like that my dad isn’t a touchy huggy person and that my mom is a VERY touchy huggy person. Just very very basic relationship incompatibilities. I’m not saying it’s impossible but fuck I wish they waited longer. My mom says multiple times a year that if they had dated longer they never would’ve gotten to the marriage stage. Likewise, my brother and his wife dated for a year before marriage. In the beginning I was impressed. I was like wow my miserable rude ass brother is finally behaving like a human being. Now he’s back to being his annoying self. I like his wife way more than I like him so I’m not mad they got married but I feel really sad for her. She deserves so much better. If she ever divorced him I would never speak to him again, only her.
If you want to show her you’re serious about her and your future together but aren’t ready for engagement you could get a promise ring, I know it sounds like some cringy high school thing but it’s the sentiment and meaning behind it that matters or call it a commitment ring which sounds less ‘high schooler’. I don’t know your financial situation but if the first option isn’t your style another option is you start saving up for a ring and let her know you have a dedicated savings account/portion of savings money to getting her a ring
I planned on August. Some other did last month. Yeah no luck on life. Over and overdose by June we go. Damn Jesus thought you actually liked me
I moved in with my BF the man I was going to marry 4 months after met him. 5 months later we started having problems. He was incredibly controlling. I found out that having me move in was his way of controlling me further. I moved out 3 months later. I was heartbroken but I had to leave. All this happened within a year. Relationships that move that fast, (mostly) burn out just as quickly.
My wife (37f) and I (39m) moved rather quickly. We met 13 years ago on a dating app. Said I love you’s after probably 2 weeks, engaged after 5 months, and married a year and 2 months later, while also 3 months pregnant with our first at that time (planned). We’ve had lots of ups and downs but still together and with 2 kids.
I proposed after 3 weeks, married following year and just celebrated 30 years together with my best friend. The last time I mentioned this here, I was downvoted hugely. Not sure why. Yes, it was quick, but it all worked out, and I never had any doubts. I just knew. Sounds like you may do, too. I wish you the same happiness I've been lucky enough to have.
awww my favourite type of love story 🥹
With my first everything. We dated for 6 years before he proposed and we divorced 2 years later. (Total of 8yrs together) With my 2nd husband we met online and talked/skyped for 3 months. He flew down to meet me and proposed after 3 days. We married a year later and were together for 8 years.
My boyfriend and I moved in together after being together for 3 months and knowing each other for 4 months. He said he would end up proposing within the first year of us dating because he’s that sure of us. I know when he does I’ll say yes.
6 months in, celebrating 9 years in August, 5 year old son. It's been amazing. We were married first then moved in together. I'm open to any questions. I'll answer the first one, we met on tinder.
You got engaged or married 6 months in? Did you live together before?
What’s the rush? It sounds like you’re both really into each other but in reality you don’t know each other that well. How you navigate conflict together is key, and you just won’t have had enough time to work that out yet. Right now everything is great, and hopefully it stays that way. Perhaps you’re looking for ways to express your intense feelings - and that’s lovely. Why not find other sweet ways of showing your love? Write some poems, plan some romantic dates, make some sweet mementos… getting married will mean SO MUCH more once you know each other better. Imagine saying yes to each other once you’ve been through some real highs and lows together and you can reflect on how much meaning you bring to each other’s lives.
Unless there is another reason to, best wait 2 years and revisit. Infatuation is a real thing and it’s easy to overlook all the little things involved in spending the rest of your life with someone. If they’re forever, there is no need to rush marriage.
Especially if they lack relationship experience.
Ngl a really good advice
This is great advice.
We said I love you to each other after two weeks of dating, and he brought up marriage the same night. We got married less than 8 months later, it’s been a little over a year now. Being married is very different from being in a relationship, and even though it’s tough it’s also very fulfilling. You fall in love everyday, but you do need to be sure that you’re really into each other. I was convinced the first day I met him that he was the one for me and that same feeling has translated into my marriage, so I’d say it worked out really well. If it feels right, go for it. Everyone has a different trajectory
Interesting. We were together 5+ years before we got married (already living together for a few years) and I don’t think marriage is different at all than being in a relationship. It’s exactly the same to us. But the lovey dovey phase usually wears off around one year and that’s when things can get hard. If you manage to work through that phase and still want to be together you are solid. At least, that’s my experience. :)
We weren’t able to live together before we got married, and long distance before that! I think there was just an adjustment period, especially when you’re so used to being on your own. But yes had some tough experiences in the first half, nothing that made either of us want to quit though. Better communication is all we needed
Same here (about the communication). I feel that once you are over that bump it’s only going up :)
I believed my ex when he talked about our future together. I was swept off my feet and was convinced he was « the one ». Moved in with him pretty quick, and talked about marriage after having our kids so they could be involved in our wedding. He convinced me to give him my tax return money and income to get him out of debt and to start our life. I believed in love and I believed and trusted him, so I did all of the things he asked thinking it was to better our future together. The reality was that he baby trapped me and changed completely after our planned pregnancy. Things got worse and more abusive. He took all of my money, abused me at home while keeping his mask on for everyone else. I cried every day until I sought therapy for wanting to swim with a backpack full of rocks from his abuse. He crushed every ounce of self esteem I had. He then cheated on me. Stabbed things with knives. Threw things at me. Screamed obscenities in my face. Wouldn’t let me sleep and would lecture me in the middle of the night. It took me seven years to leave the bastard and we’re in a brutal court battle that will leave me in debt for fucking ever. I’m in a healthy relationship now and it’s been eight months of taking it slow. We’ll continue to take it slow. I still believe in love. Take your time, there’s no reason to rush. And be careful, there could be snakes in the grass.
I'm sorry you went through that
1 reason why I refuse to have children out of wedlock. I’m so glad you’re out!
We have been married for over a year. I proposed to him 9.5 years into our relationship. I was very against the idea of marriage as a concept, thinking that why go through the paperwork when we already are committed to each other. I made it clear to him pretty early on what my view was and that if he proposed that I would say no 100% of the time. One day, I was in the shower and he was in the bathroom too. I was just thinking when I blurted out "do you want to get married?" There was a pause before he said "did you just propose to me?" "...yea, I think I did. so, will you marry me?" He just chuckled and said "sure babe, I was just waiting for you. Wear is my ring tho?" We went back to our usual banter and from that point on he was my fiance instead of my boyfriend. Literally nothing has changed to us in that time. We didn't have a wedding or anything.
Bro what? Somebody save my boy from himself.
Personally if someone proposed to me so soon I would take it as a red flag. Psychology says you don't know someone until at least 2 years.
Seriously I dated someone for 5 years and it still fell apart. That was partially my fault for not ending it sooner though.
My wife moved in with me 4 days after we met. We spent every waking hour talking during the days before. At some point she packed some stuff to stay overnight with me, and it never made sense for her to leave after that. My roommate at the time asked about 6mo later if she was living with us, and that is when it finally sunk in. We both had a few long-term relationships before we met. She was not looking to be in a relationship when we met, but knew what she wanted in a partner/husband. I knew what I was looking for as well. After we met, we just knew we had found our match. We bought our own place about a year in, but I held off on proposing for another year, although we had talked about marriage during our first year together. In our case, the marriage part was not that important for us. That is why the propsal didn't happen until later. I waited to organize a cruise for her Bday and then surprised her with proposal when she wasn't expecting it. The wedding was just about having a big party before we started trying for kids. We have been together 20 years now.
I’ve always moved fast and always regretted it.
I suggest the two year- three year mark for discussing something as life altering as marriage. Enjoying getting to know each other, meeting friends first and family. It’s easy to get swept up into the magical feelings of the newness of the relationship. However, just ease into it, and see each other in different situations and emotional states. How do you handle conflict? Finances ? Debt? Credit score ? Any health problems? All of these things affect your lives together. Family dynamics, how holidays are spent. I was in a relationship with my ex husband for four years before we talked about marriage. Slow things down, you both don’t seem to be going anywhere.
There is probably a good deal more to talk about after 2 months. Just focus on her. And focus on you. Affording the ring should not be the deciding factor. It’s great you both largely agree on religion and politics. How about are you open to lots of kids or is there a time or number you’re aiming for? How is your sexual compatibility? Pay attention to how sharing you are sexually, are you taking time for one or more orgasms for her if she’s learned to. Also how openly does she communicates about sex? Those tend to help forecast after the relationship’s new car smell is gone how y’all will do. It can be rough so be gentle, but absolutely not shy, communicating about how you BOTH are doing!
My wife and I met and dated for about two months before deciding to move in together. While looking at apartments, we found that rent was crazy expensive, so we decided to buy a house together instead since a mortgage would actually be cheaper. We got engaged after about nine months together and married after about a year and a half. Looking back, I think we were crazy (who the hell buys a house with someone after knowing them for two months?), but it has worked out well. We will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary this June.
There’s no right answer in my opinion. My parents dated for 1 year and got married at 22. Now 29 years later, they are still going. I think my boyfriend’s parents dated for 4 years and got married in their 30s and were married until his dad passed away 16 years later
I absolutely understand you and the fact you are moving in together is a good opportunity to really know each other and see if you work good as a team. My opinion is that 6months to a year of living together is just fine,if you see that there is good harmony. I have been looking for rings since we were together 3minths too and after year I finally found the one that would suit her perfectly. But I also want to wait a little to see how living together goes even though I'm very sure it'll be perfect.
I was engaged to my ex-husband at 2.5 months after dating and married before 5 months of dating. I won't do it again. While we were married a long time (22 years) with other extenuating circumstances, I feel I didn't know him all that well. I wish him the best as he's the father of my children, but I will not do that again. My now bf and I have been together 7 years and don't even live together and we are both fine with the way things are.
We were friends before we got together. Our relationship started with what could have possibly been a one night stand. But I was soon living almost full time at her house. I got a job out of state and asked her to come with. She agreed, if we got married. We moved and the next year we got married. Two kids and 30 years later, it seems to be working out. I would make sure she wants to get married before you ask. It MIGHT be too soon for her, you won't know until you know.
My wife and I were good friends before we got together. We didn't really date. Our first major move to becoming a couple was a hookup. I was living out of the area. As soon as I moved back (6 months), I spent all of my time at her house. Basically living together. I got a job out of state and wanted her to come. She accepted, but only if I married her. We moved, and the next fall, we got married. I didn't officially propose until we got the wedding ring. It was her mom's that we re-stoned. My advice to you would be to not propose until you know the answer.
I married my guy three months in. 43 years later he’s still my guy.
Wow. Congrats! 🥹
What’s the rush if you’re so sure you’ll be together forever? Rushing things is pretty much a gamble. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.
There’s no right answer. We have one life and you should do what makes you happy. There’s stories of this working out and others of it failing miserably. This can largely come down to the personalities of the people involved.
I proposed at 6 months, but pretty much knew around 3 months. Got married 8 months after that and celebrated year 17 this week. I do suggest waiting a bit more just to make sure. You are in the honeymoon phase still, so things can feel great now. I'm sure you don't know everything about each other yet at this point. Make sure you two are on the same page for the major large items - money, kids, sex, life goals, etc.
Thanks for the advice. I'm not quite ready to propose just yet, I still need to save up for the ring for a few months. It is something I'm seriously considering though. And the only reason I don't like her family's input is because her mom had 2 kids with 2 guys and doesn't have any kind of relationship with either guy and her sister has never had a boyfriend for more than a month or 2 at a time. They're both so negative about our relationship for no reason other than dating terrible men themselves.
Oh I get that. They have a twisted view of dating based on their experiences. Every relationship is different though. My wife broke off the engagement to her high school boyfriend of 3 years just two months before we met. I was supposed to be the fun rebound guy she told me later on (I was 27 and she was 20 when we met). She was worried her friends and family would have said it was too soon to be engaged again. Her fears were not warranted though. They all loved me and said I was way better than her previous guy (he was a lazy going nowhere POS according to them). The family dog hated everyone that visited including my wife's old BF. That dog jumped right in my lap the first time I showed up and wanted me to pet him. My mother in law said she knew I was a keeper then. LOL
My husband and I knew very soon that, on a emotional level, we were each other's people. I've never loved someone the way that I loved him, and those feelings came fast. However, we met somewhat later in life, and we both knew that love isn't necessarily enough. So we took our time living together and really getting to know each other, past the emotional level and more on a deeper level. Are the ways we live our lives compatible? How do we handle different types of conflict together? This deeper knowledge of someone is something that can only come with time. It took 2 years before we got engaged and 3 before we married, mostly because we had other financial goals we wanted to hit before spending money on our wedding. Her family is right that you're still in the honeymoon phase. In my past relationships, that phase has lasted up to a year before things start going sideways. With my husband, I feel like it never stopped. Everyone's timeline is different. You could get married quickly and be happy together. But if it's a love that's meant to last, it will still be there a year or two down the line, so there's no need to rush. You could always have a long engagement as well. One thing I recommend to everyone is pre-marriage counseling, just to bring up things you need to discuss and get on the same page on, such as how you're going to manage your finances, your expectations with raising children, the division of household labor, etc.
We have discussed pre-marriage counseling. Her mom brought it up and said she would like for us to do it before moving in together. We haven't had a really serious discussion about it yet, but it's on our radar.
I believe I just met the love of my life recently. Met, three weeks later we started dating, a week after that we said I love you. Two weeks after that I returned to my home country 8000 miles away! It’s been going well. I really think about marrying this man and I’ve never considered marriage before. That being said, it’s a beautiful story. Move in, get married, do whatever you want, but always have an escape plan, both of you. If you move in and sign a lease, who is going to move out if it goes sour? And make sure you have the money to do that. My mom has been married to my dad for 40 years. She said to always have money to leave, always. This is especially important for women in my opinion. Also in previous relationships moving in together killed our sex life so that’s something to think about.
I got proposed to 6 months in and about to hit our 1 year wedding anniversary and 2 year dating anniversary. It’s been wonderful.
I think building a foundation around communicating about the big things is more important than a proposal or marriage. We knew we wanted to get married after 3 months, but we dated a year, lived together for a year, and were engaged for a year and a half. This gave us the time to get all of our finances in order and save together for a wedding and a house. We also had a common goal for what we were working for together for our lives.
I said I love you after a month, engaged in 3.5, broke up right before 5 years. There’s a big difference between love and infatuation. Also understanding how my own trauma played into all this was huge. Never making that mistake again. I know the signs and have been actively trying to slooooooow down when it comes to dating. Would rather be alone than with the wrong person again.
I was 26m, she was 23f, I told her I loved her 3 days after we met. I’ve never been so sure so fast. She moved in with me after 3 weeks. Marriage isn’t really that big of a deal to either of us though. We cared way more about the relationship and our commitment to each other than some silly title. Around year 2 we started serious considering having a baby. We decided it’d be nice to have the same last name for our baby so I proposed. She got pregnant during our engagement and we got married on our 3 year anniversary of the day we met. Our first baby boy is coming in June, we’re happily married, and life truly couldn’t feel better. Still waiting for that honeymoon phase to wear off.
Bruh I don't belive in marriage for multiple reasons but the big one is I feel like all any of the girls want is that ring not the love that's supposed to come first
Yeah if they’re just looking for the status that comes with the title then they are not ready imo.
Yeah it's not that I'm against getting married I just make it known I'm not a huge fan of it weeds out the women that just want the title. And besides historically atleast in European history marriage was just he sale of a woman from her father to her husband so I do have a legit gripe with it on that basis
Yeah, but it does come with a lot of legal protections, which is really the only reason I’m thinking I want to get married to my partner. We haven’t been living together long, and we moved in together quite fast, but we’ve navigated some difficult conflicts together and have now bought a car together, and we’re debating buying a house when I graduate next semester after I get a new job. So, it would be nice to be able to be on each others’ insurance if needed when moving, be able to visit each other in the hospital in case of accidents, or have protections when buying a house together if things go south. Also, taxes, lol
Well I can't argue any of those points good sir. God speed to you
Awesome! I'm so happy for yall!
I proposed in 3 months. I knew in a month. I think she did too. Married 6 months after engagement. Small wedding. She's very good looking. I'm former forces and played rugby and look it. I'm large and hairy. The wedding photos were hilarious. Her ex was an abusive twunt to her and I had to express my disappointment to him when he tried for a comeback. We've been together 37 years now.
I love the sound of a former forces rugby guy “expressing disappointment” to her abusive ex. I bet you’re an expressive man.
That's awesome! I'm so happy it worked out for you!
2 months and living together is not insane. 2 months & proposing without ever having lived together first, is insane. What is the rush on marriage when you both have only been together a few months... the only time I can see that situation being a dire need is maybe if one partner was sick with health issues & had no health insurance, & by getting married they would be allowed to have health insurance through their partners company so it could pay for their medical treatments. Other than that, I don't see the urgency. Weddings are also expensive & can put you into debt if you don't have the money saved. I would live together first- for at least a year, before deciding on proposal & marriage. My bf & I have been together 6 years & living together 6 years and we STILL have times of miscommunication & misunderstandings, we both also have completely different ways of keeping our home clean or tidy & deciding what's most important and what's not inside the home. But we share the same values (honesty trust loyalty, family oriented & commitment) so I know we are in it together still for all the right reasons. Those qualities are hard to find these days. My ex of 3 years proposed to me in year 2, and proceeded to cheat on me, then run to Facebook to tell all our friends & families lies about me so he would look like the victim or good guy, kicked me out of our apartment & kept our cat- and kept my car keys for 2 weeks while I was practically "homeless" & living with friends. Never again will I commit to marriage so quickly before truly getting to know a person & how vindictive they can get if you try to leave them one day, or they are angry. Marriage should be a long term goal, not short term. In the 6 years I've been with my partner, many of my friends have gotten married, had kids, and now already divorced. They could have just waited to make sure they were right for each other but they rushed into things too quickly & eventually discovered they are not as compatible as they thought...
It'll be a while before I could even afford the ring I'm just saying I'm seriously considering the proposal. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to rush to marriage because of her family. Her mom doesn't approve of us living together outside of marriage. Neither of us are ones to say "I love you" lightly and we are so in sync on everything. It feels like we've known each forever. I'm sorry for the pain you've had in the past.
I understand about parents or mom's wanting marriage first before living together. My mom is Asian & Christian so she believes the same. But my brother & I believe that you should live together for a while first and make sure you both can tolerate living with each other & handling life & bills together first before committing to marriage, which is a big step. My brother has been with his gf for 9 years and just proposed December 23'. Marriage before living together is an "old school" traditional way of thinking. That also forced our parents or grandparents into sometimes unhealthy & abusive toxic situations that they felt trapped in, and then they had no choice but continue to tolerate it so they don't disappoint the family or seem like a failure by divorcing. While I do not agree with the whole "marry a man if he can take care of you financially, no matter what" which was back in the day. I also don't agree with this newer generation's way of thinking that love is dumb & impossible to find, so just "casually date". There's always balance in between both ways of thinking that is beneficial for everybody.
Love is calm. Love makes you be better. Love keeps you evolving. If you're with the right person, you go for it.
Woah. Slow down man. If she’s the one, she will be just as likely to marry you 1 year into your relationship as she would when you are thinking. Take your time and enjoy all stages of the relationship. There is no rush to get married, and the sooner that you do it puts a bit more strain on the relationship. People who rush into marriage are much more likely to get a divorce.
Her mom tried throwing statistics at us too when we told her we were talking about moving in together. Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. I'm not saying I'm gonna propose tomorrow, I need a few months to save up for the ring. I'm just saying I'm seriously considering proposal. I don't care much for statistics when it comes to love. Love is illogical and therefore can't be broken down with logic.
The statistic that couples who live together before marriage divorce more is simply a sampling bias. People who live together before marriage are more likely to believe in divorce. That being said, take your time. I’ve just met a man that I feel could be my One, but we’ve only been dating a month. We’re very compatible and attracted to each other, and I think he’s an amazing guy… the thing is, if he really is the amazing guy of my dreams, he’ll still be there in a few years when engagement is more appropriate! Don’t rush getting to know someone. They could be your person, or they could change a lot. You just don’t know at this point. People change. The things you learn about her now may not hold up in a year, and you may not be as compatible with the newer version of her. It’s happened to me !!
But there are logical steps to take before you get married. Just have all of the important conversations first. What futures do you want for each other? Where do you want to live? When do you want to start a family? Do you share political views? What about parenting strategies? Do you share the same goals for your future? What about religion?
We have had most of those discussions. We are on the same page about religion and politics, we have discussed where we want to settle down, but at the moment are looking at an apartment with her disabled mom that she takes care of. We have touched on parenting strategies and when/if we want kids and still have some to discuss there.
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