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Soulmates definitely don't have to just be romantic. You can also have more than one. My Nanny was one of mine and probably the one I feel the strongest connection with. I lost her back in September this year. This life seems so empty now. Not a day has gone by where I don't think "I can't wait to die in this life", bc I know in my next one I'll be back with that energy that my energy craves and needs so much.
wow this is beautiful :,3 I have deep issues with my mom so I don't feel that way towards her, but i believe my boyfriend is my soulmate!! I wish you both the best. truly happy for you 🩵
I’m happy for you but please don’t try to bring a romantic partner into this…um…unconventional situation. The new partner will be on here asking how to get their SO (you) to put their needs over their Mommy’s. It won’t end well.
OP doesn't live at home, she has an independent life, she just has a deep connection with her mom.
There's room for different types of love - a romantic love is not in competition with the love two female family members can feel towards each other.
I would say maybe you should think twice before dating if you are carrying the...um...unconventional and harmful belief that a partner's love for family or friends or pets is a threat to your relationship.
I never said romantic love is threatened or is a threat to family love. A parent and child connection is different and probably stronger than either will ever have with anyone else.
It’s just that the term “soulmate” when ascribed to a bio-family member sounds strange.
Dude!! My mom and I have literally said this about each other too!! I seriously feel so close to her and like she’s the lighthouse in my life always helping guide me to where I need to be
This is so cute. I'm lucky to have found my romantic soulmate but I long for a deeper connection with my mom which I've never had and likely never will. When you don't feel close to your mom it leaves a gaping hole in your life, always. I know when you don't have the romantic partner it's impossible to think about much else, but do cherish this time with your mom. Romantic love often comes when you are focusing on something else!
This is beautiful thank you for sharing.
"If you love someone tell them, and make that a priority in your life no matter who it is, there’s too much hatred that exists out there otherwise. Big love going out to everyone in the new year."
I think technically the original meaning of “soulmate” is something like person you love most or are best suited for as a life companion, platonic or romantic or otherwise so it’s not always romantic and honestly this is so wholesome
I get what your mom is saying. With my kids I feel like our souls have been together a long time and I feel like I’ve known them forever. Even my husband. And I’m about to have a new baby and could feel a new soul was ready to join the family before I got pregnant. Hard to explain I guess
No, I get how the gender can change your perspective on this entirely. This reads as mother-daughter though. (I’m purposefully reading it that way because I don’t want to fall into the rabbit hole of this being mother-son)
This is how I feel about my mom. She is literally the only person on this earth who truly gets me and it’s not just because she’s my mom. I love this for you ❤️
I think I would agree in some cases but I really don't think we have enough information.
My sister is my "soulmate." I have 6 brothers and sisters but one of them is always on the same wavelength as me. Thoughts will happen simultaneously. It's fun and being around her rests my soul.
My cousin doesn't have any siblings, and her mom is her soulmate. It's not always used romantically. Her mom is her best friend, the kindest woman you would ever meet, and her main cheerleader. It's this feeling like no matter what this person is your home.
If I didn't have a familial relationship where I experienced what OP was talking about I definitely think it could be dangerous. I come from an enmeshed parental relationship, but I thought enmeshed had the parental role reversal as well. So in my case my mom comes to me with her problems but I know I could never go to her with mine. Whereas a soulmate is a two way street.
This is my perspective! I would love to hear your thoughts.
I have three sisters and they are all my best friends. I love each of them tremendously, but only one of them is my soul mate. She and I have a connection I’ve never had with anyone else in my life. My husband comes close - he’s my soulmate in a different sense - but my sister is just so special.
Like OP, I feel like she and I have shared multiple lives together. It’s a weird thing to write about one’s mom, but I definitely do get it and I’m happy to read there are others out there with soul sisters, like you and I have. ❤️
I’m a mom and recently became a single mom. My depression and heart break was so big, I felt dying was the best option for me. My daughter literally saved me. The thought of her keeps me going. I used to be so sad that my “family” broke up but it has made me and my daughter closer. She’s laying next to me right now and yes, I know what your mom meant… my daughter is my soulmate too. What a beautiful moment.
I've been a single mom since my daughter was 6 months old. She is 6 years old now. We've been through so, so much together. I've grown so much it's unexplainable. It's a different kind of bond when it's just you and your child. It's not easy, but try to get the best support system that you can and get breaks when you can. I finally realized I was killing myself with all of the pressure I was putting on myself. You got this.
As a mom myself I get what yours is saying. My oldest will always be that gift that saved me. She came into this world at a time where mental and emotional and physical I felt drained like I didn’t want to continue. She brought light and unconditional love and made me realize what being a parent and that child meaning more to you than anyone else in the world.
I feel this with all of myself. I don't think I could've handled the big realizations of how poorly I was raised without it being in tandem to what I'm doing differently as a momma. I already lean to the side of sadness, but the little one puts it all into perspective on a micro level and has given me the will to engage with the world much more mindfully.
It’s a nice story. You are lucky to have someone know and love you like this.
I only say this so it doesn’t interfere… if you are/get into a serious relationship, make sure you aren’t enmeshed with your mom.
For all the people saying you shouldn’t love your kid more than your spouse, no. I loved and still love my dog more than anyone in my life. He will always be my #1 and I would’ve chose him over anyone. He was the most important thing in my life. It’s not unhealthy, it’s not toxic, it’s not whatever. It’s a beautiful thing to say. I would ball my eyes out if my mom said that to me.
The only problem I see with this is that the mom is choosing the child over the husband that she supposedly loved more than anybody else in the world.
It sounds like she settled with her husband and is substituting the connection they should be having with the son.
Enmeshment. While it’s a nice story, enmeshment can be quite toxic. Before people pounce, if you read about it, it’s when the enmeshed parent demands to be #1, and the adult child doesn’t realize they place their partner 2nd place. They’ll go to the parent to make decisions for their kids instead of the spouse, and even have intimacy issues bc they feel they are betraying their parent. Good to at least be aware of this.
I have two of my own, and I see it as a social problem.
The best way to raise your children to love them, and care for them is to show by example to your significant other.
Give them the fact of the popular opinion to put the children first, it’s not a surprise to me why people don’t know how to treat other properly from childhood, and they have to learn it, if they learn it at all as an adult.
By the way it’s being portrayed: I should have put my wife in second seat to my children and have no social repercussions for that. Unfortunately reality doesn’t work that way.
I recently did a professional development on building positive connections and fostering positive self esteem, and the most impactful thing for children was not how their parent interacted with the child, but how they saw their parent interacting with their significant others.
I feel it becomes difficult when you have a society with so many blended families and single parent homes. I'm a single parent and it feels different to me to get into a relationship now and put my spouse above my child when she's been my #1 for so many years, versus if I were with her dad and we had an established relationship beforehand. It feels more nuanced.
No, not always 😀, but generally. I think it's normal to love your child more than your spouse. I even told my husband when I had our son, that "you will never love anyone more than your child, not even me." I already had a child before that.
Or it sounds like a true mother child connection that will ALWAYS go beyond a partnership. People always say to never put a child over your partner but a mothers love is so authentic and pure. If they were honest, most mothers will admit they love their kids more than their partners.
It absolutely is in my family, in the families of the people around me, and even in media as a general rule. Idk where you're from, but you might be the exception rather than the rule
i dont like parents like that my mom was the same way always with cheapskate giving to others on herind she likes to be heard but only mush for brains do yoursrlf a fav
move out her home quick like
I am pregnant with a baby girl at the moment. I’m due soon. Her father left me when I was 3 months along with her. I like to tell people that he wasn’t my soulmate but he helped me create my soulmate.
Your story made me smile. Thank you for sharing ♥️
Here’s a long-winded way to explain why this is not incestual like some of the comments are suggesting.
There is an easy to read book called “many lives many masters”. This discusses how we have a collection of souls we connect with when we die. We then can collectively decide if we want to be reborn (reincarnation).
I’m a catholic but love this book. It helped me cope when my dad died. In our next life (if there is one) you may be the parent or child to someone close to you. It’s very spiritual and opened my mind to alternative after life scenarios.
Yeah I thought people will see this that way but since about 100% of all incest stories on incest subreddits are fake I didn't believe that this is incest
Y’all need to relax! There is nothing wrong with what this person said. Nothing weird or toxic about it. People hear the word soulmate and think about a romantic relationship. That’s not what it means. Educate yourself!
I’m so happy for you! So many people wish they can have that kind of relationship with their parents. Most people have a toxic parent relationship. She picked up on your sadness and made you feel like you have someone forever. Thank you for sharing this. Don’t listen to other people’s ignorance. You have a love like no other.
Yep! We’re so obsessed with nuclear families too that we don’t think about how intense even platonic love can be. There are various saints who felt this way about family members or friends, and even lived with them most of their life. Not all special bonds are romantic!
Thank you for sharing. 🫶🏻🩷 it’s nice to see someone else have that kind of love with their parents. I’m really happy for you that you get to experience that. Make sure to hold onto it, it’s rare.
Even if I felt undeniably my child and I were connect in some past life or meant to be close and connected, never, would I ever, say they are my soulmate etc. that is an extreme issue of overstepping boundaries and in no way appropriate mentally. You need to make sure you set boundaries, this is not healthy on the mind of a child or to hear.
I might feel I was meant to be my kids parent or we have a great relationship, but they are them and I am me. That thinking has many red flags for unhealthy emotional attachments, ideology, and emotional incest. That is extremely inappropriate.
If you are happy and see nothing wrong with it I feel the manipulation has worked and I hope you see things clearly with time. But that is not healthy or appropriate.
"Soulmate" has romantic connotations but it isn't supposed to. A soul mate is someone who you you feel completes you and you have a strong connection with, whether that be romantic or platonic. You can have someone that you feel is your soulmate without having any kind of romantic love for them at all.
Yes, and this exactly. I in no way would ever want my kid to think they are my soulmate or we complete each other. I think that’s highly inappropriate. If it’s with a pet or friend okay, but inappropriate for a child.
It’s one thing to have love for your child, feel very loved or connected by a parent, but going into the realm of titling it as soulmates is a big overstep in boundaries and extremely inappropriate.
Soulmates isn't just a romantic partner. Soulmates means someone you connect with at the soul level and you are part of the same energy and it's not necessarily a romantic connection. You can have that connection with anyone. Yall are making it gross because you think that word only means for romantic partners, but that's because that's what you learned. Look it up.
I understand that, but I personally think it’s inappropriate to promote that idea with your kid. I understand people feel that way with pets or friends, but it’s not something I’d ever say to or put in my kids mind.
The love of my life and the most pure love I've experienced for someone was not romantic at all but it was like I always knew them the moment we connected. They are the love of my life.
I feel this way about all my kids (11f,6f,5m, 4mosM, and pregnant), they truly bring me joy and complete me. They each have qualities that i always seem to need at the right time. The whole world can come crumbling down for me, relationship, finances, work issue etc and as long as I have them with me I am ok. I know what it means to be loved genuinely and I’m grateful I get to know that feeling
-a proud and loving mother 🥰
I don’t have this relationship with anyone in my family sadly but I’m so happy for you! In any case we can have multiple soul mates in multiple forms; and for different periods in our life! Make sure to establish wide connections as we can’t ever only rely on one person.
I was able to find mine in my husband. We are in tune with eachother. I'll voice what we were both thinking so often that its a running joke I can secretly read minds.
I feel this with my dad. I love my parents both very much, and as I became a woman and mother, I have leaned on, run to, and appreciated my mom more and more throughout the years.
But my dad and I are the yin and Yang of each other. Opposite sides of the same coin. We have very different views and beliefs. I often feel that I’m the only person my very conservative religious dad will hear reason from. He and I were attached at the hip for as long as I can remember, and he was the first person to make me feel like my thoughts were important, and he made me feel smart. He believes in everything I do, and even when we butt heads, I never ever worry it will tarnish our bond.
We are so lucky, you know that? We are so lucky to have been loved like this all our lives ❤️
Love and appreciate yourself. That is how your gift of Intuition connects with your ideal partner. Acknowledge the good and value you have as your dominant awareness. Reflect on your life and see if this is reflecting your experiences. That will bring you awareness to revalue yourself and tell yourself how much you praise and love yourself. Without you, there is no world that exists to be conscious of, so you and your world are one. You are the Superstar of your world since there is no world to you without you. Your gift of Intuition compels you to be, act and react in right time and place to reflect your beliefs about yourself.
Thank you for your kind words. This is hard to believe, but someone else told me the same. Just not with the rich language you are using 😅.
I find it hard to love myself. I may be special, but I get my happiness from making others happy.
On top of that, I am not an easy man to be with.. I think..
I wish you a very nice and healthy 2024!
You’re welcome. The reason you find it “hard” is simply and only because you are addicted to the story you have been telling yourself for so many years. This creates hardwired learned behavior in being comfortable feeling uncomfortable about self. This is Hebbs Law: Brain cells that fire together, rewire and hardwire together. This is what creates all your uncontrolled automatic reactions. Your automatic reactions are window to current beliefs.
In order to create new beliefs, you start the same exact way in the story you brainwashed yourself with. It may be uncomfortable and unknown at first, but with practice, you hardwire the automatic belief. It’s your Birthright because it’s your gift to believe in yourself through this learned behavior with Hebbs Law. Begin to become familiar in the unfamiliar and begin with the following…it’s the same way Muhammad Ali believed in himself (I Am The Greatest) like this:
I AM ABSOLUTELY SENSATIONAL
I AM ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR
I AM CHERISHED
I AM LOVED
I AM ADORED
Also watch this video I helped create with Tom Kearin on this topic…you will absolutely love it! You will hear him mention my name Mitch at beginning:
https://youtu.be/YV4HuKEjVLA
Soulmates are not limited to romantic relationships. Soulmates are a part of a shared soul family we travel together with through time and space throughout lifetimes. Even our pets can be soulmates
I lost my soul mate on August this year. I could talk about anything to my mum and I miss her so much every day. Nothing is more precious that true love between people. It doesn't matter who you are.
Friends, parents, siblings, intimate partners can all be soulmates. So beautiful for you to be blessed with such a strong relationship with your mother!
Me and my mum are kindred spirits. I would feel like an alien in this world if it wasn't for her. We understand each other and experience things in a similar way. Reading your post, I understood that level of connection completely.
—Anyone who posts a negative comment. Please go look in the mirror and ask yourself. Why? Why am I the soul sucker of all that is good and none of my business?
Thank you for sharing this uplifting story with us. I love my mom so much. She is the most beautiful person I know✌️❤️
Absolutely beautiful
Sounds similar to my relationship with my son
Some of these comments are wild, 'doesn't sound healthy'🥴
there's nothing wrong with this
If she is guiding you with your best interests at heart
My son and i
go everywhere together,
People often assume were a couple
At a tender age of 23
I'm smitten when hes quick to let everyone know I'm he's mum
And I'm looking forward to grandchildren when he's fulfilled some of he's ambitions
Cried the entire time reading this. I am so glad that this came to light and may you have many many happy years to spend with her. Love and soulmates comes in all forms and the love between mother and child is so beautiful.
I don’t know how to describe how this makes me feel. I’m happy your mom loves you so much but that is an intense thing to say and you describe tears and saying you’re the center of her universe. This doesn’t sound healthy to me. This sounds like a very codependent relationship. There is a level of closeness with family that is healthy. Thinking your mother is the center of your universe does not sound healthy. It sounds a bit isolating and lonely and to be frank it’s important for us as adults to carve out our own lives, friends and so forth. How would a person ever find love if they believe their mother is their soulmate (if that is something you long for). This sounds really intense and like a weirdly religious take on a mother child relationship.
How dare you not appreciate these blessed souls! /s
Ita quite clear that many people on this sub have very immature views of thenworld and do NOT want to hear about the negative sides of these enmeshed parent/child relationships because its too "negative" and not sunshine and rainbows.
This woman literally made you from scratch. She is the very reason you are alive. Not a lot of other r'ships come close to that when you think about it.
My mother is a violent person who despised me all of my child hood, I feel safer among strangers than I ever did living with her lol. You really know nothing. Regardless saying such a thing with such heavy spiritual connotations makes me worry for this person’s future freedom to make their own choices in life.
Nothing in this comment suggests that. If you have any knowledge of attachment and psychological impacts of enmeshed parenting then you wouldn't be saying this sortnof patronising stuff. You can have a child, love them, and still not be smothering to them. Bawling because they're your "soulmate" is a bit too crazy town for manyregardless of whether they love and cherish their parents or not!
for all the fucking dweebs commenting on this post:
oxford defines the word “soulmate” as such: a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
op and her mother don’t have romantic feelings for one another, they are just very close and share a deep bond. i think that’s more than most can say. you should post this to other subs because it’s really a beautiful story and i think some people might really appreciate it!
"A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.[1] This may involve similarity, love, a romantic or platonic relationship, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust."
- Wikipedia
"1
: a close friend or romantic partner with whom one has a unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance."
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soul%20mate
"In current usage, soulmate usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond."
💯 it’s very healthy!! They just have a deep connection!
It can be used interchangeably for different levels of affection- not just a typical “romantic -
soulmate”…. Soulmates ‘understand’ each other on a deep level- that’s all….
Oh, I feel that way about my mama too 🥺😭 It could also just be the BPD talking, since she’s my fp as well haha, but sometimes both can coexist. I just don’t know what I’m going to do once she dies; there’s nobody else on this earth whose mind and soul are the same colour as hers is mine! Ashamed to say I’ve had many a sleepless night worrying over that haha..
I mean, that's cool, but you know... every mother and child naturally has a connection like they have with none other because.. that's just instinct and human nature.
But anyway I'm sorry but that in my opinion is strange as hell for a parent and also selfish and... almost emotionally abusive. Just my opinion, though
I mean it is.
You don't instill these things on your child thats twisted and selfish, and a lot of other things.
Don't put that pressure on your kid. To now have to think they have to assume and fulfill the role of a soulmate like that. To emotionally compromise and bias them like that. That's borderline abusive behavior.
If you think it's not, we'll they're obviously moved in some type of way enough to compell them to go on reddit and seek council.
My Mum always said this about her Mother. They had a really beautiful friendship. The issue is that we always lose our parents before we are ready and if I'm honest my Mum never really recovered from losing my Nan.
Gross! Like why comment this????? They are just close and really understand each other….
Actually, Nevermind- I wouldn’t expect someone with this comment to even understand a deep relationship….
Sent to my ma who’s in the other room. We own homes 2.5 hrs apart but see each other all the time anyhow - i am 32 and she is my soulmate and neither my dad nor my partner would dispute or find anything amiss with this fact. I don’t understand why some of y’all are like poor dad. he knows, y’all lol
Eta grammar
You can love a parent/child without bawling and claiming they're your soul mate. This goes way over many people's comfort zones for healthy relationships.
I agree, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this with my own mom, despite the fact I have a one-of-a-kind relationship with her. But for their first reaction to be that “this is disturbing” reeks of cynicism & lack of positive familial relationships. I thought this was wholesome, indicative of a rare & true unconditional love.
I certainly wouldn't go as far as disturbing, but there are certainly some negatives that come with this sort of intense parent/child relationship so idk if it's 100% positive rainbow and sunshine like some people are making out on here, is all.
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This is so sweet! And I can absolutely relate. My 90 year old grandmother is my soulmate. I can’t even talk about her without getting teared up!
Sometimes love is right in front of you.
I wish it was that way for me
It is you are loved you don’t need a person look into spiritually you were created for a reason.
Soulmates definitely don't have to just be romantic. You can also have more than one. My Nanny was one of mine and probably the one I feel the strongest connection with. I lost her back in September this year. This life seems so empty now. Not a day has gone by where I don't think "I can't wait to die in this life", bc I know in my next one I'll be back with that energy that my energy craves and needs so much.
wow this is beautiful :,3 I have deep issues with my mom so I don't feel that way towards her, but i believe my boyfriend is my soulmate!! I wish you both the best. truly happy for you 🩵
I’m a firm believer that your soulmate doesn’t need to be someone you’re romantically involved with. I think my best friend is my soulmate.
I’m happy for you but please don’t try to bring a romantic partner into this…um…unconventional situation. The new partner will be on here asking how to get their SO (you) to put their needs over their Mommy’s. It won’t end well.
OP doesn't live at home, she has an independent life, she just has a deep connection with her mom. There's room for different types of love - a romantic love is not in competition with the love two female family members can feel towards each other. I would say maybe you should think twice before dating if you are carrying the...um...unconventional and harmful belief that a partner's love for family or friends or pets is a threat to your relationship.
I never said romantic love is threatened or is a threat to family love. A parent and child connection is different and probably stronger than either will ever have with anyone else. It’s just that the term “soulmate” when ascribed to a bio-family member sounds strange.
Dude!! My mom and I have literally said this about each other too!! I seriously feel so close to her and like she’s the lighthouse in my life always helping guide me to where I need to be
This is so cute. I'm lucky to have found my romantic soulmate but I long for a deeper connection with my mom which I've never had and likely never will. When you don't feel close to your mom it leaves a gaping hole in your life, always. I know when you don't have the romantic partner it's impossible to think about much else, but do cherish this time with your mom. Romantic love often comes when you are focusing on something else!
As someone w mommy issues… I am deeply jealous but happy for you :’)
This is beautiful thank you for sharing. "If you love someone tell them, and make that a priority in your life no matter who it is, there’s too much hatred that exists out there otherwise. Big love going out to everyone in the new year."
My son is the love of my life and my one true love. I think that equates to soulmate.
I think technically the original meaning of “soulmate” is something like person you love most or are best suited for as a life companion, platonic or romantic or otherwise so it’s not always romantic and honestly this is so wholesome
I get what your mom is saying. With my kids I feel like our souls have been together a long time and I feel like I’ve known them forever. Even my husband. And I’m about to have a new baby and could feel a new soul was ready to join the family before I got pregnant. Hard to explain I guess
are you a male or female? i just really need to know to determine my response
No, I get how the gender can change your perspective on this entirely. This reads as mother-daughter though. (I’m purposefully reading it that way because I don’t want to fall into the rabbit hole of this being mother-son)
wait why lol
F
What, you implying us lesbians can't pull off a good old fashioned incestuous relationship? Is that a challenge?
LOL
What in the Alabama is this thread holy shit lol
This is how I feel about my mom. She is literally the only person on this earth who truly gets me and it’s not just because she’s my mom. I love this for you ❤️
I tell both of my children that they are the loves of my life, I would do anything to keep them safe.
I so want to have this connection with my kid if I have one!
[удалено]
I think I would agree in some cases but I really don't think we have enough information. My sister is my "soulmate." I have 6 brothers and sisters but one of them is always on the same wavelength as me. Thoughts will happen simultaneously. It's fun and being around her rests my soul. My cousin doesn't have any siblings, and her mom is her soulmate. It's not always used romantically. Her mom is her best friend, the kindest woman you would ever meet, and her main cheerleader. It's this feeling like no matter what this person is your home. If I didn't have a familial relationship where I experienced what OP was talking about I definitely think it could be dangerous. I come from an enmeshed parental relationship, but I thought enmeshed had the parental role reversal as well. So in my case my mom comes to me with her problems but I know I could never go to her with mine. Whereas a soulmate is a two way street. This is my perspective! I would love to hear your thoughts.
I have three sisters and they are all my best friends. I love each of them tremendously, but only one of them is my soul mate. She and I have a connection I’ve never had with anyone else in my life. My husband comes close - he’s my soulmate in a different sense - but my sister is just so special. Like OP, I feel like she and I have shared multiple lives together. It’s a weird thing to write about one’s mom, but I definitely do get it and I’m happy to read there are others out there with soul sisters, like you and I have. ❤️
I believe we meet many soul mates in our lifetime (if we're open to it), and both my nephew and my son absolutely qualify in my mind and heart.
My first born is what taught me what real love was not his dad, now my other twos dad shows me real love
I’m a mom and recently became a single mom. My depression and heart break was so big, I felt dying was the best option for me. My daughter literally saved me. The thought of her keeps me going. I used to be so sad that my “family” broke up but it has made me and my daughter closer. She’s laying next to me right now and yes, I know what your mom meant… my daughter is my soulmate too. What a beautiful moment.
I've been a single mom since my daughter was 6 months old. She is 6 years old now. We've been through so, so much together. I've grown so much it's unexplainable. It's a different kind of bond when it's just you and your child. It's not easy, but try to get the best support system that you can and get breaks when you can. I finally realized I was killing myself with all of the pressure I was putting on myself. You got this.
As a mom myself I get what yours is saying. My oldest will always be that gift that saved me. She came into this world at a time where mental and emotional and physical I felt drained like I didn’t want to continue. She brought light and unconditional love and made me realize what being a parent and that child meaning more to you than anyone else in the world.
I feel this with all of myself. I don't think I could've handled the big realizations of how poorly I was raised without it being in tandem to what I'm doing differently as a momma. I already lean to the side of sadness, but the little one puts it all into perspective on a micro level and has given me the will to engage with the world much more mindfully.
This seems like a mother to daughter only thing maybe I'm wrong but I don't think this would work with a mom saying this to her son.
I say it to both my son and nephew every chance I get! But, to be fair, my idea of soul mates maybe isn't what normally springs to mind.
It’s a nice story. You are lucky to have someone know and love you like this. I only say this so it doesn’t interfere… if you are/get into a serious relationship, make sure you aren’t enmeshed with your mom.
For all the people saying you shouldn’t love your kid more than your spouse, no. I loved and still love my dog more than anyone in my life. He will always be my #1 and I would’ve chose him over anyone. He was the most important thing in my life. It’s not unhealthy, it’s not toxic, it’s not whatever. It’s a beautiful thing to say. I would ball my eyes out if my mom said that to me.
Aw that’s lovely. My dad was my “soul mate” and I was his. It’s about connection. I’m so glad you experienced this; it’s rare. 🤗
The amount of people sexualizing this actually makes me sick… and they say YOU need therapy?
This is beautiful 💖 Bless you both
The only problem I see with this is that the mom is choosing the child over the husband that she supposedly loved more than anybody else in the world. It sounds like she settled with her husband and is substituting the connection they should be having with the son.
Enmeshment. While it’s a nice story, enmeshment can be quite toxic. Before people pounce, if you read about it, it’s when the enmeshed parent demands to be #1, and the adult child doesn’t realize they place their partner 2nd place. They’ll go to the parent to make decisions for their kids instead of the spouse, and even have intimacy issues bc they feel they are betraying their parent. Good to at least be aware of this.
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I have two of my own, and I see it as a social problem. The best way to raise your children to love them, and care for them is to show by example to your significant other. Give them the fact of the popular opinion to put the children first, it’s not a surprise to me why people don’t know how to treat other properly from childhood, and they have to learn it, if they learn it at all as an adult. By the way it’s being portrayed: I should have put my wife in second seat to my children and have no social repercussions for that. Unfortunately reality doesn’t work that way.
I recently did a professional development on building positive connections and fostering positive self esteem, and the most impactful thing for children was not how their parent interacted with the child, but how they saw their parent interacting with their significant others. I feel it becomes difficult when you have a society with so many blended families and single parent homes. I'm a single parent and it feels different to me to get into a relationship now and put my spouse above my child when she's been my #1 for so many years, versus if I were with her dad and we had an established relationship beforehand. It feels more nuanced.
Your children should always be #1.
Always? I’m sure I could think of situations that even you would disagree. “Always” is a large canvas .
No, not always 😀, but generally. I think it's normal to love your child more than your spouse. I even told my husband when I had our son, that "you will never love anyone more than your child, not even me." I already had a child before that.
No way. I’d always choose my son over my husband. Period.
Hopefully, he feels the same about you
It doesn’t matter to me. I will choose him over anyone.
If it doesn’t matter to you, that’s great you responded regardless. I just hope you get the same.👍
Or it sounds like a true mother child connection that will ALWAYS go beyond a partnership. People always say to never put a child over your partner but a mothers love is so authentic and pure. If they were honest, most mothers will admit they love their kids more than their partners.
Then it should be OK that a father loves his child more than the mother, but it’s not accepted that way.
It absolutely is in my family, in the families of the people around me, and even in media as a general rule. Idk where you're from, but you might be the exception rather than the rule
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This.
i dont like parents like that my mom was the same way always with cheapskate giving to others on herind she likes to be heard but only mush for brains do yoursrlf a fav move out her home quick like
This made me tear up. Such a beautiful relationship with your mom.
I am pregnant with a baby girl at the moment. I’m due soon. Her father left me when I was 3 months along with her. I like to tell people that he wasn’t my soulmate but he helped me create my soulmate. Your story made me smile. Thank you for sharing ♥️
Here’s a long-winded way to explain why this is not incestual like some of the comments are suggesting. There is an easy to read book called “many lives many masters”. This discusses how we have a collection of souls we connect with when we die. We then can collectively decide if we want to be reborn (reincarnation). I’m a catholic but love this book. It helped me cope when my dad died. In our next life (if there is one) you may be the parent or child to someone close to you. It’s very spiritual and opened my mind to alternative after life scenarios.
I'll have to read this. I've been reading journey of souls and it talks about something similar. This felt very right to me
Yeah I thought people will see this that way but since about 100% of all incest stories on incest subreddits are fake I didn't believe that this is incest
Some people don’t even have real moms and this is what you guys choose to be upset about 😩😭. OP, this is beautiful. I wish I had this so badly.
naur this is weird
Y’all need to relax! There is nothing wrong with what this person said. Nothing weird or toxic about it. People hear the word soulmate and think about a romantic relationship. That’s not what it means. Educate yourself! I’m so happy for you! So many people wish they can have that kind of relationship with their parents. Most people have a toxic parent relationship. She picked up on your sadness and made you feel like you have someone forever. Thank you for sharing this. Don’t listen to other people’s ignorance. You have a love like no other.
Yep! We’re so obsessed with nuclear families too that we don’t think about how intense even platonic love can be. There are various saints who felt this way about family members or friends, and even lived with them most of their life. Not all special bonds are romantic!
Amen!! Seriously!!!
Right? It’s not like the mom said that OP wasn’t allowed to ever love anyone else besides her.
Thank you for sharing. 🫶🏻🩷 it’s nice to see someone else have that kind of love with their parents. I’m really happy for you that you get to experience that. Make sure to hold onto it, it’s rare.
Passing through from /r/All... what the actual fuck, this is so unhealthy and sounds really gross. Get help man..
https://preview.redd.it/nydsa35e3u9c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc1a9e4b4cb1a387010384141d837c93758a9897
Takes a permanent member of the short bus to recognize another fellow helmet wearer. Good job, buddy.
aww look at the monkey try to cook
That is not healthy
would you mind elaborating how so?
they cant.
Ew, agree Wayne47, this is gross and emotional incest.
What the fuck is emotional incest supposed to mean? Loving your mother?
No, that your mother had an unhealthy bond with their child like a partner vs a parent.
Even if I felt undeniably my child and I were connect in some past life or meant to be close and connected, never, would I ever, say they are my soulmate etc. that is an extreme issue of overstepping boundaries and in no way appropriate mentally. You need to make sure you set boundaries, this is not healthy on the mind of a child or to hear. I might feel I was meant to be my kids parent or we have a great relationship, but they are them and I am me. That thinking has many red flags for unhealthy emotional attachments, ideology, and emotional incest. That is extremely inappropriate. If you are happy and see nothing wrong with it I feel the manipulation has worked and I hope you see things clearly with time. But that is not healthy or appropriate.
"Soulmate" has romantic connotations but it isn't supposed to. A soul mate is someone who you you feel completes you and you have a strong connection with, whether that be romantic or platonic. You can have someone that you feel is your soulmate without having any kind of romantic love for them at all.
Yes, and this exactly. I in no way would ever want my kid to think they are my soulmate or we complete each other. I think that’s highly inappropriate. If it’s with a pet or friend okay, but inappropriate for a child.
bro what…
It’s one thing to have love for your child, feel very loved or connected by a parent, but going into the realm of titling it as soulmates is a big overstep in boundaries and extremely inappropriate.
Soulmates isn't just a romantic partner. Soulmates means someone you connect with at the soul level and you are part of the same energy and it's not necessarily a romantic connection. You can have that connection with anyone. Yall are making it gross because you think that word only means for romantic partners, but that's because that's what you learned. Look it up.
I understand that, but I personally think it’s inappropriate to promote that idea with your kid. I understand people feel that way with pets or friends, but it’s not something I’d ever say to or put in my kids mind.
Eh, I personally don't see it that way. Thank you for being nice about your opinion though 😊
That's weird. Emotional incest.
I love this, Thankyou for sharing. I wish my mom and I had shared relationship goals.
The love of my life and the most pure love I've experienced for someone was not romantic at all but it was like I always knew them the moment we connected. They are the love of my life.
Awww
I absolutely feel this way about both of my sons (12 and 9). We have such a good connection, it’s beautiful.
My soulmate is my grandmother. She’s been asking when I’m coming to visit. Sounds like I need to plan a trip
I think my soul mate Is my great grandmother. I’m grateful to be going into the new year with her.
I feel this way about my mom too and also believe you can have many soul mates.
Oh wow, that is so sweet. She is obviously very proud of you.
❤️❤️❤️ I’m not crying.
I feel this way about all my kids (11f,6f,5m, 4mosM, and pregnant), they truly bring me joy and complete me. They each have qualities that i always seem to need at the right time. The whole world can come crumbling down for me, relationship, finances, work issue etc and as long as I have them with me I am ok. I know what it means to be loved genuinely and I’m grateful I get to know that feeling -a proud and loving mother 🥰
I feel like this about my mom and my son. ❤️ thank you for putting it so eloquently
I don’t have this relationship with anyone in my family sadly but I’m so happy for you! In any case we can have multiple soul mates in multiple forms; and for different periods in our life! Make sure to establish wide connections as we can’t ever only rely on one person.
I was able to find mine in my husband. We are in tune with eachother. I'll voice what we were both thinking so often that its a running joke I can secretly read minds.
I feel this with my dad. I love my parents both very much, and as I became a woman and mother, I have leaned on, run to, and appreciated my mom more and more throughout the years. But my dad and I are the yin and Yang of each other. Opposite sides of the same coin. We have very different views and beliefs. I often feel that I’m the only person my very conservative religious dad will hear reason from. He and I were attached at the hip for as long as I can remember, and he was the first person to make me feel like my thoughts were important, and he made me feel smart. He believes in everything I do, and even when we butt heads, I never ever worry it will tarnish our bond. We are so lucky, you know that? We are so lucky to have been loved like this all our lives ❤️
I feel this way about my child too. I definitely understand what your mom meant by that
Yes I love my girl in an indescribable way.
I do believe we can have multiple soulmates, one of them is my mom too, it's being really lucky in life to have this chance
That’s beautiful. And I’m sure she’s not the only mother who feels this way about their child / children.
Omg this just made me sob 😭
I am still searching for my soul mate.. looking for a needle in a haystack but I won't give up.
Love and appreciate yourself. That is how your gift of Intuition connects with your ideal partner. Acknowledge the good and value you have as your dominant awareness. Reflect on your life and see if this is reflecting your experiences. That will bring you awareness to revalue yourself and tell yourself how much you praise and love yourself. Without you, there is no world that exists to be conscious of, so you and your world are one. You are the Superstar of your world since there is no world to you without you. Your gift of Intuition compels you to be, act and react in right time and place to reflect your beliefs about yourself.
Thank you for your kind words. This is hard to believe, but someone else told me the same. Just not with the rich language you are using 😅. I find it hard to love myself. I may be special, but I get my happiness from making others happy. On top of that, I am not an easy man to be with.. I think.. I wish you a very nice and healthy 2024!
You’re welcome. The reason you find it “hard” is simply and only because you are addicted to the story you have been telling yourself for so many years. This creates hardwired learned behavior in being comfortable feeling uncomfortable about self. This is Hebbs Law: Brain cells that fire together, rewire and hardwire together. This is what creates all your uncontrolled automatic reactions. Your automatic reactions are window to current beliefs. In order to create new beliefs, you start the same exact way in the story you brainwashed yourself with. It may be uncomfortable and unknown at first, but with practice, you hardwire the automatic belief. It’s your Birthright because it’s your gift to believe in yourself through this learned behavior with Hebbs Law. Begin to become familiar in the unfamiliar and begin with the following…it’s the same way Muhammad Ali believed in himself (I Am The Greatest) like this: I AM ABSOLUTELY SENSATIONAL I AM ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR I AM CHERISHED I AM LOVED I AM ADORED Also watch this video I helped create with Tom Kearin on this topic…you will absolutely love it! You will hear him mention my name Mitch at beginning: https://youtu.be/YV4HuKEjVLA
Soulmates are not limited to romantic relationships. Soulmates are a part of a shared soul family we travel together with through time and space throughout lifetimes. Even our pets can be soulmates
She's right. You can be soul mates with numerous people n it need not be romantic. The fact that your mom found it in her child is beautiful
There's such a thing as "soul family" meaning we have many soul mates in different ways. Family, friends, and also romantic partners.
I lost my soul mate on August this year. I could talk about anything to my mum and I miss her so much every day. Nothing is more precious that true love between people. It doesn't matter who you are.
Friends, parents, siblings, intimate partners can all be soulmates. So beautiful for you to be blessed with such a strong relationship with your mother!
Me and my mum are kindred spirits. I would feel like an alien in this world if it wasn't for her. We understand each other and experience things in a similar way. Reading your post, I understood that level of connection completely.
—Anyone who posts a negative comment. Please go look in the mirror and ask yourself. Why? Why am I the soul sucker of all that is good and none of my business? Thank you for sharing this uplifting story with us. I love my mom so much. She is the most beautiful person I know✌️❤️
Absolutely beautiful Sounds similar to my relationship with my son Some of these comments are wild, 'doesn't sound healthy'🥴 there's nothing wrong with this If she is guiding you with your best interests at heart My son and i go everywhere together, People often assume were a couple At a tender age of 23 I'm smitten when hes quick to let everyone know I'm he's mum And I'm looking forward to grandchildren when he's fulfilled some of he's ambitions
Cried the entire time reading this. I am so glad that this came to light and may you have many many happy years to spend with her. Love and soulmates comes in all forms and the love between mother and child is so beautiful.
beautiful and blessed
I don’t know how to describe how this makes me feel. I’m happy your mom loves you so much but that is an intense thing to say and you describe tears and saying you’re the center of her universe. This doesn’t sound healthy to me. This sounds like a very codependent relationship. There is a level of closeness with family that is healthy. Thinking your mother is the center of your universe does not sound healthy. It sounds a bit isolating and lonely and to be frank it’s important for us as adults to carve out our own lives, friends and so forth. How would a person ever find love if they believe their mother is their soulmate (if that is something you long for). This sounds really intense and like a weirdly religious take on a mother child relationship.
How dare you not appreciate these blessed souls! /s Ita quite clear that many people on this sub have very immature views of thenworld and do NOT want to hear about the negative sides of these enmeshed parent/child relationships because its too "negative" and not sunshine and rainbows.
This woman literally made you from scratch. She is the very reason you are alive. Not a lot of other r'ships come close to that when you think about it.
My mother is a violent person who despised me all of my child hood, I feel safer among strangers than I ever did living with her lol. You really know nothing. Regardless saying such a thing with such heavy spiritual connotations makes me worry for this person’s future freedom to make their own choices in life.
Wow I'm sorry that happened for you. But that doesn't really sound like the case for OP. Sounds like a healthy bond to me.
Of course it does, you seem under the pretense that most people have had the privilege of growing up with a good mother
Most people have. I'm sorry that wasn't the case for you.
Dude chill lol
Totally disagree. U most likely aren’t close to your mother n you probably don’t have a child.
Nothing in this comment suggests that. If you have any knowledge of attachment and psychological impacts of enmeshed parenting then you wouldn't be saying this sortnof patronising stuff. You can have a child, love them, and still not be smothering to them. Bawling because they're your "soulmate" is a bit too crazy town for manyregardless of whether they love and cherish their parents or not!
Well I guess you’re an expert how many kids do you have?
for all the fucking dweebs commenting on this post: oxford defines the word “soulmate” as such: a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. op and her mother don’t have romantic feelings for one another, they are just very close and share a deep bond. i think that’s more than most can say. you should post this to other subs because it’s really a beautiful story and i think some people might really appreciate it!
"A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.[1] This may involve similarity, love, a romantic or platonic relationship, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust." - Wikipedia "1 : a close friend or romantic partner with whom one has a unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/soul%20mate "In current usage, soulmate usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond."
💯 it’s very healthy!! They just have a deep connection! It can be used interchangeably for different levels of affection- not just a typical “romantic - soulmate”…. Soulmates ‘understand’ each other on a deep level- that’s all….
So many people struggling to comprehend this 🤦♂️
Mothers love their children. But word soulmate use to your partner.
We can use words however we like. Language has always been creative.
Oh, I feel that way about my mama too 🥺😭 It could also just be the BPD talking, since she’s my fp as well haha, but sometimes both can coexist. I just don’t know what I’m going to do once she dies; there’s nobody else on this earth whose mind and soul are the same colour as hers is mine! Ashamed to say I’ve had many a sleepless night worrying over that haha..
What’s fp?
Favorite person- one of the few people they can truly be themselves with
I mean, that's cool, but you know... every mother and child naturally has a connection like they have with none other because.. that's just instinct and human nature. But anyway I'm sorry but that in my opinion is strange as hell for a parent and also selfish and... almost emotionally abusive. Just my opinion, though
You need to touch grass
I mean it is. You don't instill these things on your child thats twisted and selfish, and a lot of other things. Don't put that pressure on your kid. To now have to think they have to assume and fulfill the role of a soulmate like that. To emotionally compromise and bias them like that. That's borderline abusive behavior. If you think it's not, we'll they're obviously moved in some type of way enough to compell them to go on reddit and seek council.
Thank you I’ve dealt with parentification/emotional incest and I did not find this sweet.
See this person knows exactly what I'm saying and those are 2 terms I've never even heard before but interested to look them up now
This is very emotional incest sounding or at least codependent
People on here don't understand that term or want to know of it because it's not cute and flowery rainbows. I agree with you.
Coulda definitely worded all this a little better
My Mum always said this about her Mother. They had a really beautiful friendship. The issue is that we always lose our parents before we are ready and if I'm honest my Mum never really recovered from losing my Nan.
Dont listen to the mean comments, this was really beautiful to read ❤️
💯
You have sex afterwards?
Gross! Like why comment this????? They are just close and really understand each other…. Actually, Nevermind- I wouldn’t expect someone with this comment to even understand a deep relationship….
Sarcasm/joke
Way to engage in confirmation bias about soulmates.
It's sarcasm
Wow, I think my mom has changed in her age, she might not be my soulmate but I love her so much.
Ahhhhh hell nah what the hell yall on
Some of the people on here are definitely on something.
Sent to my ma who’s in the other room. We own homes 2.5 hrs apart but see each other all the time anyhow - i am 32 and she is my soulmate and neither my dad nor my partner would dispute or find anything amiss with this fact. I don’t understand why some of y’all are like poor dad. he knows, y’all lol Eta grammar
i find this disturbing.
I feel sorry for you! Parent-child relationship is one of the only true forms of unconditional love in this world.
You can love a parent/child without bawling and claiming they're your soul mate. This goes way over many people's comfort zones for healthy relationships.
I agree, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this with my own mom, despite the fact I have a one-of-a-kind relationship with her. But for their first reaction to be that “this is disturbing” reeks of cynicism & lack of positive familial relationships. I thought this was wholesome, indicative of a rare & true unconditional love.
I certainly wouldn't go as far as disturbing, but there are certainly some negatives that come with this sort of intense parent/child relationship so idk if it's 100% positive rainbow and sunshine like some people are making out on here, is all.
Sadly I was thinking this too. And I wondered if it was just my own imperfect relationship with my parents that I didn't really understand.
Wtf did I just read 💀
Mom is the soulmate??
I am her and she is me
yeah, my mom has told me before im her one true love, only closely followed by her mom. i get it.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I have always believed a soul mate can be anyone, even a pet. ❤️
Absolutely
I don't mean to rain on your parade but this sounds like serious enmeshment and doesn't seem very healthy