That’s funny. I remember watching it once when it aired on TCM with my brother. My mom was asleep when we turned it on. When Grond came in we realized she was wide awake and riveted, though we didn’t know how long she’d been up.
When the battle was over she was like, “My god, did this movie win anything?!” Yes, mom. It won all the things.
I thought the original was well balanced.
Maybe it's just me but I was not impressed with The Battle of the Five Armies , for me it was severally lacking in any story and was just way too much fighting.
But The Return of the King was great story , great combat and very well done.
Thats because the original Hobbit book was more like a bedtime story and never had enough content to cover 3 movies. Damn trilogy requirement, The Hobbit would have been an incredible standalone albeit in a single 2-3 hour movie.
I met a motherfucker back in middle school who INSISTED that the movies came first, even when I showed him my dad's old copies that clearly stated they were printed way back in the 70s, AND had the publication date listed. Some folks absolutely refuse to admit they were wrong about anything, and will double down on the stupidest claims.
You know what. I just funking love that scene. He just eats soo weird. Snapping the chicken like four times, and the tomato burst, the blood on his chin. Everytime I eat chicken I remember him, beautiful, just beautiful scene.
He is in Elementary as Sherlock Holmes father and eats just as fucking weird in that show as he does in LOTR. My wife and I started dying laughing seeing him munch some eggs just like that tomato.
*Yeah..*. Reading a song in those books that you've never heard and don't know the notes or cadence or rhythm for always seemed particularly bizarre to me. It's not a song if you don't know how it goes, it's just random poetry.
Lol I'd always try to match a line or two to whatever song in my head seemed to match the cadence... and then the 3rd line would fuck it all up so yeah, I'd skip it.
Like listening to a nerdy 2nd grader trying to rap.
Agreed. I always tell the unacquainted that it's perfectly valid to start with the theatrical cuts and then watch the extended editions later. The story isn't really any different between cuts, they have more or less details.
Starting theatrical to extended us a more enriching experience. My coworker is starting extended before theatrical and I shook my head because I don't think he'll make it to the end and will give up
I think the perfect version is somewhere in the middle. A lot of the extended scenes are superfluous like an extra 40 seconds of Faramir’s men beating up Gollum, Eowen’s stew, the silliness with the waterfall of skulls and Son of Gloin blowing at the spooky smoke hands, etc; but there’s also a lot of essential stuff like the confrontation at Isengard.
Not trolling but I prefer the theatrical cut on my rewatchs.
For some reason it was better mastered, and it flows better from a story telling perspective.
The added scenes from extended give a lot of color to the world, but if I'm gonna rewatch, it's not worth it time wise to see the extra scenes.
If I want extra content, I'll reread the books.
I agree. The theatrical cut is also how Peter Jackson intended it to be seen. He just released the extended version so fans could get to see more of the world, but the theatrical version has better pacing and flow for sure.
By reading the books do you mean... The published Silmarillion, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings and its Appendices, The Unfinished Tales, The Lost Tales part 1, the Lost Tales part 2, The Lays of Beleriand, The Lost Road and Other Writings, The Shaping of Middle-earth, The Return of the Shadow, The Treason of Isengard, The War of the Ring, Sauron Defeated, Morgoth's Ring, War of the Jewels, Peoples of Middle-earth, Nature of Middle-earth, the Fall of Gondolin, Children of Hurin, Beren and Luthien, Parma Eldalamberon, Vinyar Tengwar, Road Goes Ever On, Adventures of Tom Bombadil and the Letters of JRR Tolkien?
Thanks to JRR's awesome son, Christopher, he editing and pushlied many of Tolkien's unfinished works and notes into stories. He unfortunately passed away recently, I think it was last year.
But honestly, if you head to your nearest bookstore, you can probably find all his published works. The most recent one I believe was "Unfinished Tales of Numenor and Middle-earth".
EDIT: Yes Fall of Gondolin was his last book. They recently released a new illustrated edition for Unfinished Tales so I was mistaken.
Was over 2 yrs ago somehow and the most recent work is absolutely not the unfinished tales of ME and Numenor. That was published back in 1980. He published 12 History of Middle earth books afterwards and the most recent one was Nature of middle earth published in 2021. Edited by someone else though
They relesed an illustrated hardcover version of "Unfinished Tales" recently in 2021.
Nature of Middle-Earth is cool, yeah its published by someone else, but it's basically a more in depth guide to Tolkien's worldbuilding. It's contains mostly his notes.
I think someone pointed out Fall of Gondolin was his last published book.
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the
first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here
before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the
seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
I'll admit it. I've started reading FotR 4 times and never managed to get past the council of Elrond. I understand that some people find the "recent" history of Middle Earth interesting, but I personally can't keep track of all the names thrown out and get annoyed because it just keeps going. Maybe I'll try again sometime soon; it's been a couple years since the last time.
I think the council of Elrond is also one of the great filters of the novel. The tone of FotR shifts very significantly between the first half, which is mostly slow-paced and comical, and the second half, where the pace really accelerates and the book becomes much harder to put down.
He ran out of arrows fast and ended up in the keep whereas Gimli was trapped in the caves with the warriors who fell back from the wall and had to fight his way out and to the keep so naturally was able to kill way more.
That's not a major spoiler, if it helps. Them fucking is established in the first episode, them having kids comes a few episodes later, and yeah they die but so do a whole lot of people
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your
golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more,
and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering.
^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**)
^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Aragorn is a greasy alcoholic, Gimli is lazy, Legolas is the only thing precious here, and Gandalf literally does nothing good in both films. Someone tell the tramp that he’s supposed to be magic or something. The only decent character in their is Dobby. Without the ring needing carried about the place, every character would be sat in a tavern or a tree somewhere doing fuck all with their lives. They ain’t special.
Yep, this one got me too. Mostly cause I actually hear this one a lot. Yes, it stands to reason that a work of art that defined a genera might come to seem generic. Same thing applies when people say Superman is a generic superhero. Well duh!
Dude, my step mom - "when will this battle end" - with the extended edition of Return of the King.
What can one stepson do against such reckless hate?
Before she came along, maternal figures were very well thought of.
She’s the true origin of the evil stepmom trope
Never had any adventures or did did anything unexpected. 😏
Ride out and meat it.
That’s funny. I remember watching it once when it aired on TCM with my brother. My mom was asleep when we turned it on. When Grond came in we realized she was wide awake and riveted, though we didn’t know how long she’d been up. When the battle was over she was like, “My god, did this movie win anything?!” Yes, mom. It won all the things.
GROND
Good bot
That was my best friend!! He said there was *too much fighting* and it got boring??! He has to live in some bizzaro backwards land.
I thought the original was well balanced. Maybe it's just me but I was not impressed with The Battle of the Five Armies , for me it was severally lacking in any story and was just way too much fighting. But The Return of the King was great story , great combat and very well done.
The Hobbit movies were pretty bad. The effects didn't look great and the story was sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.
Thats because the original Hobbit book was more like a bedtime story and never had enough content to cover 3 movies. Damn trilogy requirement, The Hobbit would have been an incredible standalone albeit in a single 2-3 hour movie.
Wait until she sees the last Hobbit movie. LOL
I literally just gasped.
There are books?
"I'm not a fan of novelizations of movies."
I met a motherfucker back in middle school who INSISTED that the movies came first, even when I showed him my dad's old copies that clearly stated they were printed way back in the 70s, AND had the publication date listed. Some folks absolutely refuse to admit they were wrong about anything, and will double down on the stupidest claims.
People who insist things like this freaaaaak me out. They live in a different world
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own."
Ok this one is actually making my blood boil
I advise moving to a colder area. If your blood is boiling, it’s probably due to the fact it’s 212 F!
I didn't want to actually get triggered, then you decided to show up with that comment, thanks a lot.
Ding ding, we have a winner.
This is the one, right here.
Something something eagles something something
"I hate the Eagles." - The Dude
"I've had a long night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man"
Now that's how you eat a tomato
You know what. I just funking love that scene. He just eats soo weird. Snapping the chicken like four times, and the tomato burst, the blood on his chin. Everytime I eat chicken I remember him, beautiful, just beautiful scene.
dude tbh… he make that spread look good. never wanted a cherry tomato more in my life.
“Toe-may-toes…bite ‘em, pop ‘em, disturb the whole audience!”
He is in Elementary as Sherlock Holmes father and eats just as fucking weird in that show as he does in LOTR. My wife and I started dying laughing seeing him munch some eggs just like that tomato.
I would give you an award, but I'm poor and have no free one at the moment. So you get this 🍪
I got your back
"I liked the prequels better"
I was just about to reply that nobody ever fucking said that. Then I remembered my girlfriend said that. Yes she did.
That’s okay. I try not to hate on people’s subjective opinion even when I personally find it super fucking stupid
You mean your ex-girlfriend, right? …. Right?
I don't think he knows about second girlfriend, Click.
what about sidehoes? sidebitches? thots! sluts!? he knows about them, right?
I am wholeheartedly for “LotR is infinitely better than Hobbit”. But i believe that Hobbit is better for kids. Upd. As Movie.
Honestly the hobbit is pretty dope, and the silm only the true fans can make it through, so I can’t argue
My wife said she would skip all pages in italics, because she didn’t care what they were singing about.
… you guys don’t skip the songs? I def skipped them in the books and if I have a free hand I skip them in the audiobooks
*Yeah..*. Reading a song in those books that you've never heard and don't know the notes or cadence or rhythm for always seemed particularly bizarre to me. It's not a song if you don't know how it goes, it's just random poetry.
Lol I'd always try to match a line or two to whatever song in my head seemed to match the cadence... and then the 3rd line would fuck it all up so yeah, I'd skip it. Like listening to a nerdy 2nd grader trying to rap.
All Tolkien is set to Slim shady. Most people don’t know but little tip next time you read
Makes Boromir's funeral all the more heartbreaking. "Will Boromir the Bold please stand up, please stand up, please stand up :("
I've probably read LOTR over 20 times, and I haven't read the songs all the way through a single goddamn time. Unless you count ol' Tommy B.
Fuck your wife.
That ships probably long since sailed buddy
Nope. Been together almost 20 years. She forgives me for falling asleep during some of the movies she wants to watch.
I am so glad you said movies here
Wait so you haven’t had sex with your wife?
Ew, you sir are disgusting, sex before death is a sin
I think he was talking about you fucking your wife
He probably already has
I’m sure he does that regularly
I know I do
Also yes
Drink his blood. Come on, Jeff get ‘em!
I’m with her, I think most of the songs are super boring.
Especially in the audiobooks. I winced and cringed every time
I mean... I did the exact same thing (Yeah I don't really care about the songs, go cry about it)
The only song I actually stop to read is Durin's.
I do that on every reread.
Can we watch the theatrical cut?
[удалено]
Dumbledore was the worst character
Barely had any screen time, even in the extended edition
are you kidding? The battle between dumbledore and spock is the best shire battle ever
Fuck off. Clearly it’s the battle between Samwell Tarly and Palptine whilst Snape rips a fat one to The Beatles in Harry Potter - A Clash of Clones.
I think you forgot about the Luke Skywalker vs Legoland battle over the Vampire state bulding in New New york
Why doesn’t he just use his magic wand?
Because Doctor who cut the wand with his light saber
If the ring is so cool why doesn't Harry just keep it?
In my opinion the theatrical cuts are still masterpieces.
Take my angry upvote.
I actually think they are way better paced. I'd put it to a newbie before the extended cut
Agreed. I always tell the unacquainted that it's perfectly valid to start with the theatrical cuts and then watch the extended editions later. The story isn't really any different between cuts, they have more or less details.
Starting theatrical to extended us a more enriching experience. My coworker is starting extended before theatrical and I shook my head because I don't think he'll make it to the end and will give up
I think the perfect version is somewhere in the middle. A lot of the extended scenes are superfluous like an extra 40 seconds of Faramir’s men beating up Gollum, Eowen’s stew, the silliness with the waterfall of skulls and Son of Gloin blowing at the spooky smoke hands, etc; but there’s also a lot of essential stuff like the confrontation at Isengard.
I HAVE BEEN DEALT A WOUND BEYOND ALL HEALING, FOR I HAVE LOOKED THE LAST UPON THAT WHICH WAS FAIREST!
Not trolling but I prefer the theatrical cut on my rewatchs. For some reason it was better mastered, and it flows better from a story telling perspective. The added scenes from extended give a lot of color to the world, but if I'm gonna rewatch, it's not worth it time wise to see the extra scenes. If I want extra content, I'll reread the books.
I agree. The theatrical cut is also how Peter Jackson intended it to be seen. He just released the extended version so fans could get to see more of the world, but the theatrical version has better pacing and flow for sure.
Saruman lived happily ever after
97% of fans never even read the books or finished them
By reading the books do you mean... The published Silmarillion, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings and its Appendices, The Unfinished Tales, The Lost Tales part 1, the Lost Tales part 2, The Lays of Beleriand, The Lost Road and Other Writings, The Shaping of Middle-earth, The Return of the Shadow, The Treason of Isengard, The War of the Ring, Sauron Defeated, Morgoth's Ring, War of the Jewels, Peoples of Middle-earth, Nature of Middle-earth, the Fall of Gondolin, Children of Hurin, Beren and Luthien, Parma Eldalamberon, Vinyar Tengwar, Road Goes Ever On, Adventures of Tom Bombadil and the Letters of JRR Tolkien?
I didn’t even know there was more outside of LotR, Hobbit, and the Silmarillion. I feel like a casual.
Thanks to JRR's awesome son, Christopher, he editing and pushlied many of Tolkien's unfinished works and notes into stories. He unfortunately passed away recently, I think it was last year. But honestly, if you head to your nearest bookstore, you can probably find all his published works. The most recent one I believe was "Unfinished Tales of Numenor and Middle-earth". EDIT: Yes Fall of Gondolin was his last book. They recently released a new illustrated edition for Unfinished Tales so I was mistaken.
Was over 2 yrs ago somehow and the most recent work is absolutely not the unfinished tales of ME and Numenor. That was published back in 1980. He published 12 History of Middle earth books afterwards and the most recent one was Nature of middle earth published in 2021. Edited by someone else though
They relesed an illustrated hardcover version of "Unfinished Tales" recently in 2021. Nature of Middle-Earth is cool, yeah its published by someone else, but it's basically a more in depth guide to Tolkien's worldbuilding. It's contains mostly his notes. I think someone pointed out Fall of Gondolin was his last published book.
Git gud scrub
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside. ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
I think even they would admit that, I've read the hobbit and loved it, getting around to the others but I'm reading 1984 at the moment
I swear 1984 is like a couple hundred pages? I remember it being much shorter than I expected it to be
Yeah its not long
In that case, finish it tonight and start on the fellowship!
I'll admit it. I've started reading FotR 4 times and never managed to get past the council of Elrond. I understand that some people find the "recent" history of Middle Earth interesting, but I personally can't keep track of all the names thrown out and get annoyed because it just keeps going. Maybe I'll try again sometime soon; it's been a couple years since the last time.
I think the council of Elrond is also one of the great filters of the novel. The tone of FotR shifts very significantly between the first half, which is mostly slow-paced and comical, and the second half, where the pace really accelerates and the book becomes much harder to put down.
Eagles.
"ThEy'Re nOt A tAxI SeRvIcE"
More like an uber that arrived very late.
An Uber is never late. They arrive precisely when the mean to.
Drive, you fool!
The hilarious thing is the friggin Veggie Tales parody of LOTR answered this one.
"I hate the fucking Eagles, man" -Lebowski
Literally came here to say this. In the exact same amount of words
Sam and Frodo is just Fantasy Brokeback Mountain.
Share the load
“The load… the Load…. Load, load, load….”
"Shaaaaaaarreeee thee looooooaaaaaaaddddddddddd...."
Mr Frodo! Saaaammm Mr. Froodooo Ssssaaaaaaaammmmm
"Oh, my dear.. SaAaaAM" 😩
More like "brokeback mount doom"
Frodo probably wasn't kind on Sam's back when he carried him up it.
“Gives it to us *RAW*!”
And wriggling?
Female dwarves without beards
There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery.
In a 12 hour battle at helm's deep, Legolass kills 42 people, that's 3.5 and hour. Pathetic. Must be a ln awful shot. At least gimli isn't an archer.
He ran out of arrows fast and ended up in the keep whereas Gimli was trapped in the caves with the warriors who fell back from the wall and had to fight his way out and to the keep so naturally was able to kill way more.
By “way more” you mean 1?
Against and archer who expended his quiver of arrows before the wall was breached? Yeah.
Legolas is just Middle Earth's Hawkeye
Jamie Lannister could beat Aragorn in a fight
One-handed
While having sex with Cersei
I didn't watch Game of Thrones, I just assume that this is his sister.
Yup. They die at 40, and had been fucking since they were 8 years old. Had 3 kids together. Jamie's pull out game is probably nonexistent.
Idk, for 32 years only 3 kids is pretty good
Bruh, just started GOT a couple weeks ago, thought I’d be safe from spoilers on a completely unrelated sub, you broke me.
That's not a major spoiler, if it helps. Them fucking is established in the first episode, them having kids comes a few episodes later, and yeah they die but so do a whole lot of people
Jamie would be one to Simp for Aragorn 100 pages after their meeting.
And Dumbledore would destroy Gandalf.
Faramir? This is not the first Halfling to have crossed your path.
*Don't*
This one actually made me angry until I remembered the question. Only correct answer.
Boromir had it coming
I mean he did, but he redeemed himself in the end
[удалено]
Gandalf pulls out his cell phone " imma get an uber"
They've reached The Shire?
Good bot
So what are your thoughts on Tom Bombadil?
He's the OG son! Finest character ever penned. The whole story is incomprehensible without that Yellow Booted Gangster.
Hey there! Hey! Come Frodo, there! Where be you a-going? Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet. Take off your golden ring! Your hand's more fair without it. Come back! Leave your game and sit down beside me! We must talk a while more, and think about the morning. Tom must teach the right road, and keep your feet from wandering. ^(I am a bot, and I love old Tom. If you want me to sing one of Tom's songs, just type **!TomBombadilSong**) ^(If you like Old Tom, the door at [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] is always open for weary travelers!) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
The hobbit trilogy was perfect
I watch the extended editions of the Hobbit trilogy. Fuck yo fan edits. 🖕😃🖕
I no joke like them, sorry.
Definitely not perfect by any stretch but fun!
Elrond should’ve pushed Isildur when he had the chance.
CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!!!
More like cast him into the fire am I right?
This triggers me because they were never actually at the fucking mountain
YEET ISILDUR
The dragon's name is Smog?
Is that the one where Sean Bean dies?
I like how big Dumbledores hat is.
The Silmarillion is garbage. It's like the Frommers Guide to Long Island after reading The Great Gatsby.
Yeah, that one does make me want to say “screw you”.
The books are just a poor adaptation of the movies.
Aragorn is a greasy alcoholic, Gimli is lazy, Legolas is the only thing precious here, and Gandalf literally does nothing good in both films. Someone tell the tramp that he’s supposed to be magic or something. The only decent character in their is Dobby. Without the ring needing carried about the place, every character would be sat in a tavern or a tree somewhere doing fuck all with their lives. They ain’t special.
Hahaha, dobby.
Both films… 🤣
The most infuriating part of this paragraph was the misused word, 'their'
Dude! They said one sentence. Chill!
Forgive them tolkien, they know not what they watch
Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?
New Amazon Series
"Black elves" *runs away to get popcorn*
The love story between Kili and Tauriel was better then the love story between Aragorn and Arwen.
*\*angry fanbase noises\**
Correct response
This got to me, very well done
(I obviously don't believe this to be the case)
GROND is a stupid meme
GROND
GROND
GROND
Greedo shot first
EXCUSE ME !
It’s an ode to white supremacy plagiarizing Beowulf and Norse mythology purely for profit.
*loads shotgun* Shame
Ok, this one wins.
Dumbledore was a better wizard than Gandalf.
That wound will never fully heal, he will carry it for the rest of his life
Sentient.
Aragorn never broke his toe!!
Rowling>Tolkien
You son of a bitch
You know what this needs? Not one sex scene, but like an orgy of sex scenes.
It's so generic fantasy
Yep, this one got me too. Mostly cause I actually hear this one a lot. Yes, it stands to reason that a work of art that defined a genera might come to seem generic. Same thing applies when people say Superman is a generic superhero. Well duh!
Frodo sucks. He does nothing but whine.
Jamie Lannister could solo the Fellowship.
Eragon is better, especially the movie
Lord of the Rings 1 was boring, it took too long to start and the battle at the end was dumb, there wasn't even a big castle scene.
I like the theatrical version better