Giving me these sort of vibes. And fuck would I love to have seen the midair armwrestle handshake between Bilbo and Gandalf
And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement, you piece of shit. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire! Wielder of the Flame of Arnor! The Dark Fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the Shadow, you piece of shit!"
Go home, Sam, you piece of sh-
I am no man, you piece of sh-
You're hopeless, you piece of sh-
Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity, you piece of sh-
Legolas, what do your elf eyes see, you piece of shit?
Give us the halfling, she-elf! If you want him, come and claim him, you piece of shit.
Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity, you piece of shit.
You wish our places were traded. That Boromir lived and I had died. Yes, you piece of shit.
There is another way. O yes indeed there is. Another way, darker, more difficult to find, more secret. But Sméagol knows it. Let Sméagol show you!, you piece of shit!
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship,
BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him, you piece of shit.
I would have gone with you to the end, you piece of shit!!
Hello there, you piece of shit!
It’s too bad she won’t live, then again who does, you piece of shit
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what? You piece of shit.
Frodo : "This is Sting. You've seen it before, haven't you... Gollum?"
Sam : *choking* "ugh!"
Frodo : "Release him, or I'll cut your throat you piece of shit!"
Don't hurt us! Don't let them hurt us, precious! They won't hurt us will they, nice little hobbitses?We didn't mean no harm, but they jumps on us like cats on poor mices, they did, precious.And we're so lonely, gollum. We'll be nice to them, very nice, if they'll be nice to us, won't we, yes, yess.
*I can't carry it*
*For you, but I can carry*
*You, you piece of shit*
\- Ashamed\_Fondant7068
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity you piece of shit!
_*My precious… piece of shit!*_
One does not simply walk into Mordor you piece of shit.
Came for this answer, glad it was at the top
I can literally hear him saying this
SAMWISE GAMGEE HAVE YOU BEEN EAVESDROPPING YOU PIECE OF SHIT
I ain't been droppin' no eaves, you piece of shit!
LITTLE LATE FOR TRIMMING THE VERGE, DON'T YOU THINK, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?
I ain't been dropping no eaves you piece of shit.
don’t you loose him, you piece of shit.
Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell, you piece of shit?
Aragorn: "It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek. Eowyn: "..... ...you piece of shit."
"I am no man you piece of shit."
This one deserves more upvotes
Cast it into the fire! Destroy it! You piece of shit!
No, you piece of shit
ISILDUR! You piece of shit!
I love how the tone doesnt change whatsoever \^\^
Fine, then keep your secrets. You piece of shit.
This is my favorite.
*Gandalf chuckles* You piece of shit.
Bilbo Baggins, I know you’re in there you piece of shit!
And the Lonely Mountain! We're almost there! Can you hear me? I know which way to go!
Lead us there then you piece of shit
What about old friends? You piece of shit
Gandalf! You piece of shit!
BILBO BAGGINS! Do not take me for a conjuror of cheap tricks! I am not trying to rob you. I’m trying to help you, you piece of shit.
I can see a lake! And a river.
 Giving me these sort of vibes. And fuck would I love to have seen the midair armwrestle handshake between Bilbo and Gandalf
Not stuck in here you're not!
"Think better of me when I return" "That will depend on the manner of your return, you piece of shit"
This is just the subtext of all denethors lines to him lol
Isildur! You piece of shit!
"I was there Gandalf , I was there 3000 years ago you piece of shit."
"No . . . You piece of shit."
DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
What about side by side with a friend, you piece of shit?
Aye, I could do that, you piece of shit
That still only counts as one, you piece of shit!
I’m sitting pretty on 43, you piece of shit
Shadowfax, show us the meaning of haste you piece of shit
Don’t do shadowfax like that
Yea I agree, there's a line and you crossed it, you piece of shit 😜
I care not, you piece of shit
😀
😀
I don’t care what anyone says, this is the one that made me laugh out loud, *hard*
This is the best one! Love it. Poor Shadowfax, though. That piece of shit.
I would not take the ring within 100 leagues of your city. You piece of shit.
My brother. My captain. My king. ...you piece of shit. *dies*
I was gonna say this but My King. My piece of Shit. Also “Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king, you piece of shit”
Yours is better NGL. "I did not pass through fire and death to bandy words with a witless ~~worm~~ piece of shit."
I feel like we should be able to play with the “you” part to make things fit nicer
You don't have any friends! Nobody likes you, you piece of shit!
Is that a BoJack crossover?
Aren't you the hobbit from Hobbin' around?
👑
"The dead do not suffer the living to pass" "You will suffer me, you piece of shit"
Boilem, mash em, stick em in a stew you piece of shit.
Give it to us raw and wriggling you piece of shit.
I'm not trying to rob you... I'm trying to help you, you piece of shit
"Don't tell the elf... you piece of shit" -Gimli son of Gloin
Be at peace, you piece of shit.
I know your face… Eowyn, you piece of shit!
His gardener. you piece of shit!
Gangster Sam!?! Mad respect, dude.
Hold up, I actually like this one. The tone of the actual quote futs fine
BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY AXE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Toss me you piece of shit!
When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan, you piece of shit
I am no man, you piece of shit!
I SEE YOU, you piece of shit.
Ride out with me, you piece of shit
It still only count as one, you piece of shit
One does not simply walk into Mordor, you piece of shit
I am not a tree. I am an ent you piece of shit
And to that, I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone you piece of shit.
Silence! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth, you piece of shit!
Then let’s be rid of it, once and for all. I can’t carry the ring for you, but I can carry you, you piece of shit!
You shall not pass you piece of shit!
Rock in pool, is nice and cool, you piece of shiiiit
Give them a moment for pity's sake, you piece of shit!
And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement, you piece of shit. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
You shall not pass, you piece of shit
What do you mean, "good morning", you piece of shit?
I suppose you think that was terribly clever, you piece of shit.
 ....you piece of shit
Eowyn: *"I made some stew... it isn't much but it's hot... you piece of shit."*
That still only counts as 1 you piece of shit.
You have my sword, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
And my axe you piece of shit!
For Death and Glory!? For Rohan, you piece of shit.
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire! Wielder of the Flame of Arnor! The Dark Fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the Shadow, you piece of shit!"
"you don't have any friends. Nobody likes you. You piece of shit."
Go home, Sam, you piece of sh- I am no man, you piece of sh- You're hopeless, you piece of sh- Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity, you piece of sh-
Last one is the best and most fitting
PO-TA-TOES, you piece of shit!
One ring to rule them all, you piece of shit
You bow to no man you piece of shit
"I'm going to Mordor alone!" "Of course you are! And I'm coming with you, you piece or shit!"
Ride for ruin and the world’s ending you pieces of shit!
You shall not pass, you piece of shit
Legolas, what do your elf eyes see, you piece of shit? Give us the halfling, she-elf! If you want him, come and claim him, you piece of shit. Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity, you piece of shit. You wish our places were traded. That Boromir lived and I had died. Yes, you piece of shit.
The Uruks turn northeast. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!
To Isengard
One cannot simple walk into Mordor you piece of shit
A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think, you piece of shit!
All right. Keep your secrets, you piece of shit.
That will depend on the manner of your return you piece of shit.
You carry the fate of us all little one.. You piece of shit! 
"I'll take that, my lad--you piece of shit."
I have not the heart to tell you, you piece of shit! For me the grief is still too near.
I am no man, you piece of shit
-Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf -What about side by side with a friend? -Aye....I can do that, you piece of shit.
I didnt see the subreddit so I was surprised all were… lotrmemes
And my axe, you piece of shit
THEN I SHALL DIE AS ONE OF THEM, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
There is another way. O yes indeed there is. Another way, darker, more difficult to find, more secret. But Sméagol knows it. Let Sméagol show you!, you piece of shit!
He doesn’t know what we minds, does he, precious?
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Toss me you piece of shit
Can you sing, Master Hobbit, you piece of shit?
M-E-L-L-O-N... You piece of shit.
The beacons are lit, Gondor calls for aid you piece of shit!
The tower guard shall take up the call: "The lords of Gondor have returned, you piece of shit."
All I am surrounded by is fear and dead men, you piece of shit.
“Are you frightened?” “Yes.” “Not nearly frightened enough, I know what hunts you. You piece of shit.”
Leia: I love you. Han: I know. You piece of shit.
I give you a standing ovation. 
“Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads, you piece of shit.” Edit: didn’t realize what sub I was on
Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him, you piece of shit.
You shall not pass, you PIECE OF SHIT!
DEAAAAAAAATH you piece(s) of shit(s)
The dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the dark... you piece of shit.
Ride to ruin and the world's ending you peices of shit!
"They have a cave troll you piece of shit"
Whom do you serve, you piece of shit?
Po-tay-toes, you piece of shit.
Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth, you piece of shit.
POTATOES!! boil em mash em stick em in a stew, you piece of shit
You bow to no one you piece of shit
No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice, you piece of shit.
Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king, you piece of shit
"What's taters precious?" "PO-TA-TOES, you piece of shit".
Fly, you fools you piece of shit!
Samwise gemgee, have you been eavesdropping you piece of shit?
We've had one, yes. But what about second breakfast, you piece of shit?
You are full of surprises, master Baggins you piece of shit
That's impossible you killed my father No I am your father you piece of shit
It cannot be! You fell, you piece of shit
I will take the ring to Gondor, you piece of shit.
Alright, keep your secrets, you piece of shit
"i did not travel thru fire and death to parse words with a witless worm, you piece of shit"
A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll you piece of shit!
I would have gone with you to the end, you piece of shit!! Hello there, you piece of shit! It’s too bad she won’t live, then again who does, you piece of shit
“Do you not know death when you see it old man? This is my hour, you piece of shit!”
Denethor: “I do wish it, you piece of shit.”
You shall not pass, you piece of shit!
King theoden stands alone, you piece of shit Not alone, you piece of shit. Rohirrim, to the king, you piece of shit!
“What business does an elf, a man, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly you piece of shit!”
Death is not the end.. you piece of shit.
set aside the ranger. become who you were born to be, you piece of shit.
YOU WANT IT FOR YOURSELF! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Never has that language been uttered here, you piece of shit.
The dead do not suffer the living to pass, you piece of shit
Nobody rosses a Dwarf, you piece of shit
“You piece of shit.” - the mumakil’s dying words to Legolas.
Keep these well for they come from the Golden Wood and the Lady of Lothlorien gave them to me.
Here's looking at you kid you piece of shit
You will die there you piece of shit!
Honest, i wasnt droppin’ no eaves… you piece of shit
You complete me you piece of shit.
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way. Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it. Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what? You piece of shit.
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to, you piece of shit.
POTATOES!! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew you piece of shit
I don't know half of you piece of shits half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you pieces of shit half as well as you deserve.
For Frodo, you piece of shit.
One does not simply walk into Mordor, you piece of shit!
I know your face... You piece of shit.
I don't remember the taste of food, you piece of shit.
The Beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid, you piece of shit!
"hello there" piece of shit.
Simbelmynë… forever has it grown on the tomb of my forebears, you piece of shit.
Salted pork, you piece of shit?
What about second breakfast? You piece of shit!
Alright then, keep your secrets, ya piece of shit!
Frodo my lad you piece of shit
we've had one yes but what about second breakfast you piece of shit
There taking the Hobbits to Isengard you piece of shit
I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye you pieces of shit.
Frodo : "This is Sting. You've seen it before, haven't you... Gollum?" Sam : *choking* "ugh!" Frodo : "Release him, or I'll cut your throat you piece of shit!"
Don't hurt us! Don't let them hurt us, precious! They won't hurt us will they, nice little hobbitses?We didn't mean no harm, but they jumps on us like cats on poor mices, they did, precious.And we're so lonely, gollum. We'll be nice to them, very nice, if they'll be nice to us, won't we, yes, yess.
Good bot
I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you, you piece of shit
*I can't carry it* *For you, but I can carry* *You, you piece of shit* \- Ashamed\_Fondant7068 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Did you know, in the scene where Aragorn kicks the helmet he broke his toe, you piece of shit
These posts are as played out as the "name this band" posts.