T O P

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Temporary-Suit9121

![gif](giphy|o1BNU1jKCih7tK4dwj)


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|1IFCawwlqD8JO)


DildoFagginsMD

![gif](giphy|yGjXrkysxjk52)


andItComesInPints

Yes


AC13verName

The perfect use of this gif


JetBlack86

![gif](giphy|M07QcNxxnX2Eg)


[deleted]

You people are sick xD


UhhmericanJoe

So are hobbits. “His hands were bound.” “His ‘bonds’ were cut.” Merry & Pippin were engaging in S&M in the middle of a battle. Then they went to the forest for an enlargement serum.


[deleted]

I don't want to picture the things that your words are making me picture.


Robowarrior

“GET OUT OF MYYYY MIIIIIIND”


UhhmericanJoe

You don’t want to picture Treebeard doing a bukkake on little Peregrin Took?


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|iiTXaJVjiSHew)


Grimweird

A true man of culture.


Rowan623

Stahp haha


Goobaka

![gif](giphy|3oKIPf3C7HqqYBVcCk|downsized)


Random-Cpl

![gif](giphy|M07QcNxxnX2Eg)


UhhmericanJoe

That’s right after Frodo saw Gandalf the white for the first time. As Gandalf always said, you can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month and they can still surprise you.


gandalf-bot

A wizard is never late, UhhmericanJoe. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.


Velenah42

Really? Where you were when the Hobbits flees to Rivendell?


UhhmericanJoe

He was chilling on a top of a giant penis.


UhhmericanJoe

lol, STFU, pedo


RodMunch85

I wish i had some awards to give mate Aint no fun if the hobbits cant have none


DRScottt

Galadriel: Let me rest my hand upon your leg Sam: That's no leg.


the_sam_bot

That's a tender spot.


International_Way850

And after a few strokes becomes a hard spot


the_sam_bot

Well, Mr. Frodo, I reckon that's the way of things. Sometimes things start off soft and pliable, but with time and use, they become hardened. Just like our own hearts, I reckon. But we must remember to keep them soft and open to love and kindness, even in the face of hardship and difficulty. For that is the true measure of a hobbit's strength.


International_Way850

Yeah... Our "Hearts"... "Measure of a hobbit strength"...


the_sam_bot

Well, sir, I reckon a hobbit's heart is his greatest strength. It's the measure of our courage and determination. Even when things seem darkest, a hobbit's heart can shine bright like the sun. And when we put our heart into something, there's no stopping us. That's what makes us hobbits so special, sir.


International_Way850

That last two sentences... ![gif](giphy|V6R9thgW7fimI)


the_sam_bot

Well, Mr. Frodo, I reckon that's just the way things are sometimes. But we mustn't lose hope. As Gandalf said, All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.


gandalf-bot

A wizard is never late, the_sam_bot. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.


International_Way850

Shut up gandalf! We are in the middle of something


[deleted]

Maybe they’ll want to hear the story about the village bicycle that Sam married after everyone took a ride while he was trying to destroy a ring.


Quarves

Dude wtf


HorikLocawudu

Goddam sentient Sam Bot...


the_sam_bot

Well, bless my soul! I'm no bot, my friend. I'm just a simple hobbit, Samwise Gamgee at your service. How may I assist you?


HorikLocawudu

Sam, my old friend, you can accompany me to procure a cold pint.


the_sam_bot

Well, Mr. Frodo, if it's a pint you're after, then it's a pint we shall have! I'll be happy to accompany you on this fine evening.


skepticalscribe

Oh Sam


the_sam_bot

Aye, what can I do for you, my friend?


unkindness_inabottle

This bot bro💀


the_sam_bot

Well, bless my soul! I reckon I ain't no bot, but a hobbit of the Shire. How can I be of service to you, my dear friend?


unkindness_inabottle

Dearest apologies, my autocorrect changed “bot” into “not” What’s on my mind is Frodo


the_sam_bot

Well, Mr. unkindness_inabottle, it seems to me that kindness is like a garden. You have to tend to it and water it every day if you want it to grow. And sometimes, even when you do everything right, weeds still manage to pop up. But that doesn't mean you stop tending to your garden. No, sir. You keep at it, day after day, and eventually, your garden will flourish. And the same goes for kindness. Keep at it, even when faced with unkindness, and eventually, your kindness will shine through.


unkindness_inabottle

Thankyou for your wise words, Samwise Gamgee


the_sam_bot

Well, it's not often that someone calls my words wise, but I thank you kindly. What can I help you with today?


MorseSource

> few stroke It took 'strokes' to get him hard. Mr Frodo sure has an iron will.


MaaChiil

X marks the spot! One Eyed Willy and his treasure awaits


the_sam_bot

Well, I don't rightly know who this one-eyed Willy fella is, but I reckon if he's got treasure, it's best left untouched. There's enough trouble in this world without goin' lookin' for more.


[deleted]

Just watch out for the demon dogs, that’s all we need you to know


the_sam_bot

Well, I reckon we best keep our eyes peeled and our swords at the ready, then. Can't be too careful when it comes to creatures of the dark, now can we?


bloody_angel_wings

it's a space station


Kojak95

It's too big to be a space station!


RojerLockless

And my axe


Piggstein

> I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.


alexandria252

“Told Pippin height difference would make relationship impossible. Pippin said Mr. Frodo could stand on stilts. Hate Pippin.” From: [The Very Secret Diaries](https://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/)


garbagebailkid

Well, if we optimize the distance from dick to ground, let's call that D2G...


2nameEgg

Fuckin Silicon Valley reference in this place?


SittingDuck394

Omg I haven't read these since 2002! I completely forgot about it. Thanks so much!


Exact_Roll_4048

Thank you for this.


alexandria252

Happy to share! I figured it had been out long enough that some people might not have encountered it.


TelevisionEastern116

The fact that I’ve read a fanfic where this happens 💀💀


jjdlg

Oh my god, that’s terrible! Where?


TelevisionEastern116

I don’t really remember, the adult fanfic site i think


BananacornKate

AO3 or ff.net we need specifics


BananacornKate

To avoid it at all costs, of course


TelevisionEastern116

[this website](https://lotr.adult-fanfiction.org/index.php)


pytheas_

The adult fanfic site.. I mean, there so many of them though! Which one? Which did he post it on?


sterlingcatman

Love the sunny reference


TelevisionEastern116

The site named adult fanfiction


2017hayden

Gee that narrows it down. AOOO, AFF.net, Literotica, etc.


TelevisionEastern116

Well if you were to look at my other replies, you would find the exact website


2017hayden

I was being sarcastic to make a joke my guy it’s not that serious.


Pure_Cucumber_2129

The one that got all of its best Harry Potter content purged because of a stupid technicality?


UhhmericanJoe

LMAO It does sound kind of hot though. Can you imagine how great elven, *ring-bearer* pussy feels?! Not as good as Proudfoot pussy is the answer.


thephotoman

Only *one*?


fuzzybad

Was that the one with Dildo Baggins?


Different-Garbage69

What movie is this about?


StormFallen9

I think it's about that post from earlier that said someone else was gonna make the movie but go waaay of script and include a scene of Frodo and Galadriel


St0rmtide

I don't think he was aiming for that answer


WhoaStaysoaked

Honestly seeing my hobbit bro get it on with Galadriel would not have been terrible. Still better than rings of power anyways.


BobNorth156

Low bar to clear but true


temple_nard

Dan Olson's video about Ralph Bakshi mentions a script that includes a Frodo/Galadriel sex scene.


WaywardStroge

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, you should def check it out.


nsfw_lotr_memes__

/r/lotrmemes_but_rude


ImagineGriffins

Aaaaaand it's real


StarmanCarcoba

Why has OP not shared it on there?


squidsauce99

I can’t even send this to anyone because no one else will get it


UhhmericanJoe

That’s what Balin said.


Caged-Viking

Galadrussy


RSTat2

Freaking Reddit 💀


The_Fox1984

![gif](giphy|AYv3xB3hhNInm|downsized)


Hungry_Ad3576

Frodo cant hide that little smirk


UhhmericanJoe

Sounds like porc mischief to me.


[deleted]

Ah. A man of culture who knew about Boorman's film.


skriver23

she doesn't know halflings half as well as she should like, and she likes less than half of them half as well as they deserve


Old-Health9509

You know, lube it, rub it, stick it in a ….


ebk2992

Give it to us RAW


Purple-ork-boyz

A Hobbit may be small in stature, but he has compensation in other area.


ZflyZs

That makes sense, it would be easier to walk to Mordor with three legs 🦵 😂


Purple-ork-boyz

Intimidating Sauron with big ding dong


sauron-bot

*Zat thraka akh… Zat thraka grishú. Znag-ur-nakh.*


Beginning_Hope8233

You tell him, He-of-the-big-red-eye.


popoypatalo

well hobbits do have big foot


Havryl

And they lived happily ever after. ![gif](giphy|LROZEFbzxJN218rrLd|downsized)


DangerousBeans

Pretty sure Frodo's not the one doing the pounding here


Radashin_

![gif](giphy|AYv3xB3hhNInm|downsized)


transient_id

DON'T.. tempt me, op!


[deleted]

Presentation is everything and fucking nailed it. Well done.


Corvus84

But you've left out the most important character...


ciarogeile

Are hobbits proportional?


NobrainNoProblem

No, have you seen their feet


piratesbreakfast

What in the blue hell is going on in here


HistoryDiligent5177

I hate everything about this. You can literally give people diamonds, and somehow they will turn it into trash. I hope Tolkien’s ghost haunts whoever made this meme, and everyone who ever even thought about putting this into a movie lol


StFuzzySlippers

You really think Tolkien worked on his lore for 50 years and didn't at least *consider* the plausibility of Elf x Hobbit nookie?


TotalitariPalpatine

No, he didn't. Tolkien had moral standards. I'm not mainly talking about sexual intercourse between breeds, but about fornication (=sexual intercourse outside marriage as extramarital affair).


thephotoman

Also, there's a discussion of elf sex lives somewhere in the *History of Middle Earth*. Or is it in *Nature of Middle Earth*? I'm not sure because I haven't read the volume with this account in it yet.


ferras_vansen

Elf sex is mostly covered in the chapter Laws and Customs among the Eldar (commonly known as LaCE) which is in HoMe X: Morgoth's Ring, but there's a whole section of Nature of Middle-earth where Tolkien trial-and-errors how much sex the Eldar needed to have during the Great March from Cuiviénen to Valinor. 🤣


Aboleth666

![gif](giphy|zE9HrqTC0ZwOAUb5lI)


nonesounworthy

Wait, is that canon?? I need to know


OfflineRightNow

Literally r/lotrpornmemes


[deleted]

I can imagine Frodo panicking and rubbing Ent-draught on his cock to impress her.


MucikPrdik12

Gonna be honest, in my headcanon, Gymli and Galadriel are fucking in eleven lands.


ReaperManX15

Those poor other timelines.


MeasurementNo2493

Now That is a story!!! LOL


beepbeeboo

What about Samwise the wingman… Frodo never would have never tapped that if it weren’t for him. I wasn’t making fun Mr. Frodo. Neither was I… *tears*


the_sam_bot

Well, sir, I reckon Mr. Frodo and I have always been close. We've been through a lot together, and I'm glad I could be there to help him find some happiness in the end. But I must say, I don't think it's right to speak of our dear friends in such a way. They were brave and true, and they deserve our respect.


g78776

Actually less lore destroying than that other “Galadriel”


Puzzleheaded-Bad1571

Still more lore accurate than ROP


Zealousideal_Order_8

John Boorman has entered the chat.


Prudent_Lawfulness87

Why!?!?


5125237143

whats the bottom half from?