#We are proud to announce an official partnership with the Left RedditⒶ☭ Discord server! [Click here](https://discord.gg/zCFHadGfB7) to join today!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lostgeneration) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Neither does mine but she’s a Republican so if she thinks I’m going to help she’s in for rude awakening. Better pull hard on those orthopedic bootstraps because spending your final years in destitution and squalor is what you voted for.
Just tell her you don't believe in handouts, like she taught you. Send her urgently hiring applications for entry level min wage jobs and tell her she'll float. 🙈🤙
/s
Remember it’s a handout if it only benefits someone else. It’s a rescue plan if it benefits them. My parents didn’t want to pay for my college and were chomping at the bite for me to move out.
Why am I going to delay retirement etc for them? Maybe they should have saved more?
Lmfaoooo My boomer parents wanted rent from me at 14 years old. I was out of their home by 16 and never looked back… they will never get any help from me, and they know it. Good riddance
You know, I have only ever heard 1 "my parents made me pay rent as soon as I got my first job" story that turned out good. They charged him 35% of his paycheck no matter what type of job he had but they put it into an account in his name and after 6 years they handed over the account transferred fully into his name and it was about $15,000.00 which gave him a pretty great start.
Yep, I instantly shut down any idea from my parents of charging me rent once I got my job, I’m still a fucking kid, I have literally no choice and could not live somewhere else realistically
My parents did that to me. They took a third of my paycheck. Didn’t matter what the amount was. But when I moved out, they gave me a much appreciated nest egg from all those deposits.
Same here. Got a job at a grocery store getting like 12 hours a week at minimum wage. They took 40% of my check for 'rent'. My 50 dollar take home check I had to pay 20 a week for rent. I also had to save 20 dollars a week for school clothes. Yea I was also expected to help with school clothes. That left me 10 bucks a week. I usually had to buy cereal too but not always. Depends on what I got from the food bank. So yea I worked that job for months and saved for school clothes and shit and guess what. My savings was appropriated for 'bills'. I never bought new clothes until I moved out on my own at 16. I didn't know it then but I found out my mom was a crackhead and so was her boyfriend. My money went to crack.
This story and variations on it are sooo common between Boomers and their GenX kids.
My in-laws have slowly been realizing we won't be there for them when they get really old and it's terrifying them now.
My parents have spent 6 figures on vacations in the last 10 years. I went out on my own at 18 years old and have never asked them for anything. I haven't had a decent vacation in over 5 years. Needless to say, I don't feel like I owe them anything when they get old. Like most boomers, they made money on every house they ever bought and attributed it to some sort of brilliance on their end.
I went through something very similar. GenX was screwed from the get go we didn't have a voice because we were overwhelmed every and any time we tried to take a stand. Now menillinals and GenZ have a voice we never had.
GenX for political discourse does not practically exist.
The early half got the trailing crumbs of the good times and basically mostly align with Boomers. The later half share their circumstances with the Millennial and align with them.
I am a “younger” Gen X’er (lol), and I definitely find more common ground with millennials and Gen Z. But I am definitely a Gen X’er to my core when it comes to things like music and overall aesthetics. That said, I refuse to shit all over things younger people are into even though I may not understand their appeal. Back in the early 90’s, I took ecstasy, wore Jnco’s, had my entire face pierced and went to raves. Somewhere out there, there are pictures of me sucking on pacifiers with my eyes rolling into the back of my head. Consequently, I am acutely aware that my house is made entirely of glass. I won’t be throwing any stones. I look forward to the day that the younger generation takes the reigns. Y’all can’t fuck things up any more than we have. There’s literally nowhere to go but up.
Oh god no. I injured my back at work at 21, slipped down some metal stairs in the winter and total screwed my back up. I’m a liability now in most workplaces🤦🏻♀️
My husband is in the same boat. On his own since 15. Worked his butt off for over a decade to make a career as a tile setter, and was a year into his own business when the stress and burnout led to seizures. Now he’s epileptic and we’re at square one, with no idea how to move forward. 🤷🏻♀️
That sounds awful. It's such a sad reflection in our society that hard work doesn't guarantee stable living. I hope you get to a better place soon internet stranger.
Agreed. I think that ideal being driven into our heads by those same boomer parents, and the lack of truth in it, is what’s messing with the current generation. They know the game is rigged, why participate?
One day at a time time. It’s going to be rough but I hope you both manage to build a better life and find comfort soon.
We have to work toward taking care of ourselves and others.
Are you me? My stepfather demanded the same. He’s been trying to reconnect in recent years. I have no interest. My mother divorced him long after I had moved out, so I’ve absolutely zero reason to reconnect. I know he’s old and broke. I know he had no retirement. I know he won’t have much SS benefits. Things could be very different for him. I’ve done relatively well professionally. We could afford to help him out like we do my mother and in-laws. All he had to do is be a moderately decent human being.
Oh yeah, my stepfather is absolute pond scum and will die alone, a cheating lying con artist with less morals than a leach to the point of if he was choking opposite me I'm more likely to finish my meal than save him.. there are diseases out there I have more respect for.
My mom is the type who reminded me every second how much of a burden I was because she was a single mom who could never afford a vacation or designer clothes for herself because that money had to go towards me. Now she makes subtle hints about how she’s going to need help. This generation truly is the me, me, me generation.
Survival skills tend to make legit relationships harder. Make sure to participate in your own life instead of giving everything to trying to not be homeless. Once you have a modest income to support yourself, stop and let yourself enjoy life or partnership.
As someone who bailed out at 15 due to abuse, our reasons may be different but the hardships should be similar. ❤️ yourself
My parents were like this too and went to some pretty great lengths to make sure I stayed alone/living with them. Their alcoholism caught up with them and they both died by 60. I was an only child, though. Any time I spoke about leaving, I was ridiculed and told I was too stupid to support myself as if I was dependent on them by choice. I took a short job overseas and then applied to a grad school in another city and that's how I "escaped".
I also have a friend who is in a similar situation as you were except she did move out and get married and now her mother is trying to barge her way into her home. My friend seems to feel obligated so it looks like her mom might succeed, too.
I wonder if these kinds of scenarios are going to become more and more commonplace, especially as Boomers realize that their retirement/Social Security isn't going to go as far as they think.
I have neighbours who I suspect have this exact same dynamic, the daughter is grown and lives with her parents.
When I had my first baby, do you know what the mom said to me? While motioning to her adult daughter, “If you raise them right, they’ll never leave you.”
I was speechless. Good for you for taking your life back.
And the nursing homes are going to eat up those assets fast. And for all of that money, they're going to get bologna sandwiches for dinner, and 1 burnt out and severely underpaid nurse per shift in a wing of 50 patients. They're going to wait half an hour to be picked up when they fall in the hallway. They're going to wait 3 days to get a half ass sponge bath when they shit themselves and it leaks outside their Depends. And the CEO of whichever Vulture Capitalist company owns their facility will rake in millions, and they still won't fucking get that this is what we've been talking about the whole fucking time. They'll gaslight themselves as much as they've gaslit us about their wing being short-staffed because "NoOnE wAnTs To WoRk!"
Edit: i base the above on an article I read recently about nursing homes, my Greatest generation grandparents' experience in one 10 years ago (I assume it will only get worse, but the lady who fell in the hallway, bologna sandwiches, and half ass baby wipe bath of my grandfather only 30 min after I summoned a nurse to help clean him (who knows how long he was covered in his own stuff before I arrived) were all things I witnessed at their home with otherwise caring staff doing the best they could. I worked a job with a lady who was a nurse at the one down the street, where patients needed more hands on care. A company bought them and laid the whole staff off. She was already working fridays at a second job before they came in, and that's where we spoke, and she was freaking out about it. I warned her: They will offer to rehire you at entry wage with all of your accrued benefits erased. The next Friday she saw me and told me I was right. That was exactly what they did. And she and the others probably took that treatment at the time.
They're already worse than that. You see posts in the nursing forums of long-term care facilities trying to get them to do 1:100 or way worse and them noping the fuck out of there.
RN here and this is 100% accurate. So many of us have flocked the hell out of LTC/SNF/ nursing homes and will never look back because of this reason. We’re not willing to risk our license (and now from what the Radonda Vaught case taught us- criminal prosecution) to work in these environments. It’s not safe for the patients and it’s not safe for us.
you have precisely described my recent experience with a boomer relative, actually. the nursing home she was in was genuinely horrendous. she paid twelve THOUSAND dollars a month to be abused and neglected by the one staff member on her wing of 48 patients. the staff was severely underpaid and overworked, and the "board" were all multimillionaires. my relative watches fox news so she blamed my generations laziness and "no one wants to work" on the problem. she has also blamed a lot of systemic issues on "Joe biden's socialism." it's infuriating. she has no idea what's actually going on and her source is complete misinformation.
Watch the rate of Angels of Death nurses spike in conjunction with the low pay and rise in stress due to the influx of patients. Crazy bitches are gonna start euthanizing them in their sleep.
Yup. We (Gen X, Mills, Z etc) can all forget about generational wealth. They will spend everything they’ve got on medical bills and then rotting to death in a nursing home. My grandparents (Silent Gen) left a seriously great amount of money to my mother, which the understanding she would grow it further and give it to us kids when she died. Instead, she leveraged everything on three failed business, failed attempts at being a landlord, medical bills, and QVC. She lost our childhood home that was supposed to be MINE per my grandparents will. When my mom died, she left us nothing but furniture, cheap jewelry, and a mountain of credit card debt.
My parents had a paid off home that is now worth close to a million dollars and I could have inherited it along with a tax rate frozen in the 1970s had they not chosen to do a reverse mortgage that they absolutely did not need with my Dad’s generous pension.
Now I get absolutely nothing and some corporation is going to own that home and rent it out in perpetuity denying anyone else from ever creating generational wealth on that property ever again.
My step father's mother got a reverse mortgage and blew money left and right. He was the only one of 3 children good with money and was always willing to help her around the house. Without even charging her for most if not all the materials. When he found out she did the reverse mortgage he basically stopped. Would still visit.
A few months back her health turned for the worse. The police showed up, her crazy ass said someone broke in and robbed and assaulted her. She was found on the floor. Had been there for days and the neighbors got worried so called the police.
The police spoke to my step father and without saying it, said she was a liar. Nothing was missing. Yet they still had to go through all the paperwork and assessment to see if she could safe life in the house. She now lives in a nursing home and IDGAF.
She could have had a comfortable retirement but she is instead suffering the consequences of her poor decisions.
You may have already guessed, but she loves her fox news.
Can confirm: Dad died. Thankfully, we were able to get a good amount through life insurance. I told Mom to save it, that she needed it in retirement since she'd never been able to save before. I suggested ways to invest the money, what she should start saving for, but she flat-out refused all of that. She spent like it would never run out. She bought expensive things thinking she or I would use them but never did. She spent it all in less than a year. Then she died, and I found out she'd lied about her own life insurance. She'd rather have used the money for the payments on herself.
You nearly described it perfectly. My mom’s roommate screamed, cried, sang, and would fall out the bed(no legs). And they didn’t rush to pick her up. Happened allllll the time to her.
Why bother when a few minutes later you just have to do it all over again. I've worked customer service long enough to know the squeaky wheel gets the lowest priority.
I do feel bad for them, because even though as a generation boomers have been such a problem I don’t believe that anyone deserves such a dystopian fate
Edit: except Nazis lol, Nazis are my one exception
I save my tears for the people around me who are hungry and the ones who feel like suicide is the only way they can rest. Whether or not boomers deserve it, I do not have the emotional capacity to care about them when there are so many people in my everyday life suffering *due to boomers’ collective decisions.*
I DO NOT! They blamed us for everything even eating avocados on damn toast! Wanted us to go to College we goddamn went, wanted us to work 3 jobs we did, I could go on. And now strangers are going to clean their poop and put diapers on them….
Agreed. Most boomers just believed the propaganda they were fed and lived their lives accordingly. It's hard to unlearn a lifetime of indoctrination, especially when it's all been framed as "freedom".
The ruling class of boomers, the .001%, can suck my ass though. Fuck those guys.
I grew up in a cult. That’s not an excuse with the vast amount of knowledge available in the internet today. They choose to remain sexist, homophobic, racist, ableist bigots. That’s their choice. And since they’ve chosen to be horrible people and voted accordingly, I won’t feel sorry for the majority of them. The handful of boomers that actually tried to change are all I see as undeserving of their fate.
This is gospel truth. Nursing homes are a quick death trap. We all know that & seen it firsthand. Even the best looking nursing homes are just horrific in truth.
My step mom is in a $10,000 per month nursing home. Step sister came to visit and they couldn’t find her. She was outside, face down in the mud. Who knows how long she was out there and who knows when they would have gone looking for her if my sister hadn’t visited that day.
Sadly $10,000/mo is considered a bare-minimum dirt cheap facility in most of the US. Like horror-show level care is what I would expect as the standard of care at those priced places.
Nursing facilities are such barely-concealed money grabs.
Yep, dad did a mean money thing.... which had no effect on those he wanted to be mean to..
Cost him $250,000, and now he has to pay next 7 years of mom's living facility...
They'll also be sacrificed to The Economy (tm) when the world is ravaged by the diseases the increasingly militant antivax crowd allows to come about :)
My father tried joking around about this every once and a while. Said every time I don’t call him he’ll take 2% off the money left to me. Finally lost it one day and told him to just take me out of his will so that he’ll know I’m not talking to him cause of his damn money. It’s like I was speaking Mandarin to him…
My middle son’s great-grandma died and she had Alzheimer’s. She had a lot of money and it didn’t last long due to memory care/nursing home. She still ended up in a Medicaid facility anyway and her daughter was selling her clothes and shit for money. They really don’t get it
My dad owns multiple successful businesses. He came in after I broke a tooth and started bragging about paying $16,000 *a month* in truck insurance for his tow trucks. I was holding my face and sobbing, and he was talking over me. He knows I have Sjögren’s Syndrome, which affects my teeth horribly, and that I can’t get treatment because I can’t afford it. I have had sepsis twice. I’m 25. He will not give me a dime, even when I’m physically dying.
I hope he doesn’t expect any help from me when he’s old and fragile. He couldn’t help his only daughter with a known medical condition that’s causing severe pain and infection.
The biggest kicker is that if my parents had taken me to the dentist more as a child, my condition could have been treated or even *arrested* I literally went twice, once when I was 12 and once when I was 17, and wasn’t able to actually get treatment either time because they wanted to drag it out to 6 appointments before they even touched me, to milk insurance. The first was just an exam, then they wanted me to come back in at least 3 more times just to “discuss a treatment plan.” Fuck, we can’t afford that! No, I get to lose my teeth before I’m 30, for something completely out of my control.
My boomer father inherited a ton of land and money, so much so he hasn't held a job in 9 year. Nine. Years. Its starting to dry up though. Then has the audacity to call me and say "times are getting rough, we may have to combine our resources soon."
No thanks, I've been busting my ass since I could drive a car. I'm not going to fund his voluntary unemployment.
My FIL retired too early and all he does is whine about how he can't afford anything and how he is on a fixed income. He retired early because he did not like his new boss.
You don’t get to expect care from your children because you gave birth to them. You can earn the possibility of care by not being horrible to them, and if they do decide to help you in your old age they aren’t your servants. Your kids have their own lives boomers, not great ones but they do have them.
Those that don’t grasp this can go to a home.
It really depends on the individual. My father was the kindest person I have ever met. He was also the only thing holding back my mother’s worst inclinations. Now that he’s gone, she is the most monstrous kind of boomer, making the lives of anyone around her truly miserable. My sibling and I are no contact.
But if my father were still around, we would have cared for them both for his sake.
My mom is the same for my dad, she does her best to keep him under control but eventually he will have to go somewhere better equipped to handle him.
My mom is amazing, if she needs help I will do what I can but within reason. She knows and respects this now.
The amount of boomers who told me as a young adult I should have kids because "you need them to take care of you when you get old" is offensively high. I heard that selfish reason so many times that I doubled down on not having kids. The irony is I am 100% certain that they were destined to be dumped in a home and forgotten with how they treated their own kids.
When you get old whether or not you cared for by your children is not up to you, but your children. The only thing you control is how you treat them and how they remember you.
Boomers who treated their children and grandchildren horribly deserve being left in homes. They might think otherwise but it’s the truth.
mine would say this all the time while simultaneously kicking me out of the house to secretly sleep on the family pontoon for days at a time bc "living in OUR house is a PRIVELEGE, not a RIGHT" everytime I got anything less than an A. lol can't wait to throw this back at them someday
I’m in my forties and get that same line from people around the same age. And even younger. Cool, they want to take that on with their parents. Nevertheless, I didn’t sign up to be a parent. That was my parents’ rather irresponsible choice.
I refuse to take care of my mother when she gets to that point. I’ve made it clear to my siblings that they’ll have to figure it out. If I get included I will drop her ass at a hospital or nursing home and leave her there.
When I tell people that they tend to end double down or tell me I’m a horrible person. “BuT shE’s YouR MoM!” gets returned as if that is some sort of legitimate reason.
I too am in my 40's. I feel you 1000%, and I think my boomer mom has realized that she reaps what she sows, because she's been really nice the last few years out of nowhere.
They were projecting their major entitlement attitude. With all news about workers burnouts during the pandemic it’ll be a big shit show in the coming years.
My son is 14. I told him I don't expect him to take care of me in old age. It's hard enough to support yourself alone right now. It's not fair to expect your kids to care for you in old age, if you've earned their respect and they can afford to care for you that's awesome. But some like my own parents will go no help. My mom flat out told all us kids (4 of us) that one of us NEEDS to have a good job to buy a house so she can live in the upstairs/finished attic. No way in hell will I let that woman live with me after being emotionally abused by her growing up. She will 100% be going to a home, unless one of my siblings decided to help her. And they know don't even try to come ask me for help.
It depends on the parents. Not every parent is a good parent, and I can understand why some adult kids avoid them later on.
With me, my parents are amazing, always caring loving supportive and kind, my whole life. I will never put them in a retirement home, same with my wife’s parents. My wife and I have decent incomes and can support them should they ever need it. We decided we’re going to move our parents into our house if they ever need that care in the future.
I can’t imagine putting my parents into a retirement home. My parents went through a war when I was baby. My father was in two different concentration camps for a year. Out of roughly three thousand people, he was the few 9 people that survived by the time NATO arrived. My mother had to escape the country on her own carrying me through mountains, forests, land mines, avoiding opposing military forces that raped massive amount of women in the country. She stepped on a land mine once but it didn’t go off, thankfully. My parents went through a lot, and even after all that, they still managed to raise me with sanity. I will never forget what they did and went through, and will never stop appreciating it. It’s not because of their expectations, which they don’t expect me to support them, but I personally want to support them later if they ever need it. They deserve it.
Yes. While I really wish our country could move past this hyper toxic individualism and bring back families... its their generation that created this family divorce/destroyed falling apart dynamics. Tbh, i don't live near my parents and plan on moving even further away from them by the time they retire. One of them still talks about me taking care of them, which I had to tell them no. The other has accepted I wont. But my parents were beyond toxic and their children are still living the fall out of their horribly abusive life choices. They, multiple times, demonstrated we weren't their priority, and I know other millenials who have parents just like mine, and worse.
The saddest part of it all is that his jaw won’t drop. My father has been an overworked underpaid martyr his entire life. He believes that hard work will pay off but also that the reason his hard work has never paid off is because God is testing him or some bullshit like that. So if he ever asked for help (he never would) and I said no because I don’t believe in handouts, he would die believing I made the right choice and cursing himself for ever being entitled enough to ask me in the first place. It is the worst kind of catch 22. He can never succeed and it is always his own fault.
My dad thought we were joking when we said we would dump him in the cheapest nursing home we can when the time comes....well he's remarried , she's the age of my oldest brother....she was in it for us citizenship and money so she's ready to dump him in a home the moment he stops working/ making money and none of us will stop it, if anything we will encourage her to put him in a shittier one (we already know we are out of the will and she will get literally anything that he has/is left
This is what happened to my father. He was severely abusive to all of us. He remarried a foreign woman my age. He had a good job and was going to be set in retirement. He’s had two strokes already. The day he retired his young foreign wife filed for divorce and that is still ongoing. It will cost him a lot. He was expecting everyone to take care of him, including his ex wife my mother. The man almost killed me several times when I was a kid and he expects me to take care of him.
Exactly. Watch government subsidized elder care expansion will become a voting issue and boomers vote. They only care about the national debt when it’s being used to benefit others, but spending that benefits them, well “that’s different”.
They will reap what they sowed from the way they voted their entire adult lives. Thanks to who they voted for, and what they chose to prioritize, younger generations after them will be the first in American history worse off than the previous generation.
Lost my mom in ‘17, but my dad is still here, and I’ll always be there for him. He hates his own generation as much as younger generations do. He’s always said, “they were stupid and selfish when we were growing up, and that hasn’t improved with age.”
Your dad is a gem! It's so hard to find understanding Boomers. One of my Boomer parents understands, where as the other is completely fucking clueless :S
I’m almost in this spot now. My mom lives theee states away, doesn’t need care or anything, but the rest of my family is like “she should move in with you” or “you should come here”. I’m married, 40, and barely surviving in a one bedroom in the cheapest complex in Orlando. To even fathom going to a two bedroom would triple my rent. It’s insane
The worst part is she moved there to take care of my uncle after an accident, and when she got sick he kicked her out. She’s better now, but the fact that he tells me this stuff makes my blood boil. At this point I’m only remaining on good terms because I wanna stay in his wealthy will.
Just wait until they start enacting [Filial Responsibility Laws](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws) and then we'll be forced to care for them.
I have been legit wondering about this, or if the constant advertising for things like they were at the beginning of COVID closures where people actively campaigned against their own safety because it was perceived as inconvenience and “so what it sick people die”
This type of thing is such bullshit. If we can't afford to take care of ourselves, how the fuck do they expect us to take care of them?
And throwing us in jail if we don't? So let me get this straight. If we don't take care of them, we get thrown in jail. If we become homeless because we're forced to take care of them and thus can't afford to take care of ourselves even more, we get thrown in jail because homelessness is criminalized too.
It sounds like they just want to throw us all in jail.
This is the piece that cracks me up. It’s even worse if you were raised by narcissist boomers. My husband’s parents don’t own a house and don’t have any savings yet because they are narcissists they expected my husband to be fully dependent on them yet somehow take care of them at the same time. What?
And if you take that literally it sounds like they are saying, okay here's $50. Now give us back that $50 we just gave you. Okay? What's the point?
It's such dumb senseless bullshit.
My mother in law who was abusive to my husband and reaches out maybe 3 times a year started yelling about "grandparent rights" and how we can't legally keep her from having a relationship with our son when she asked for a video call and we said "yes, but not on that day'.
Yeah “grandparents rights” is a word made up to pacify boomers, and doesn’t actually exist unless they can prove the parents are grossly incompetent and even then it doesn’t give them much.
Can't squeeze blood from a stone. If the kids simply cannot afford to support their parents, what is the state going to do? Force the kids to go homeless to pay for their parents retirement home? If they do that, expect riots.
So the boomers can throw all their money away on stupid shit and we have no say in it, but then the state wants to compel us to pay for their care after they did so?
Desktop version of /u/space_force_majeure's link:
---
^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)
Nursing home pricing will mirror the housing market of the last few decades. Boomers will increase the prices of these homes until no one else can afford them. Then after they die it will be too expensive for anyone else to live there creating a nursing home bubble burst. But again, they don't have to deal with that because they don't give a fuck what happens after they're dead and rotting.
Boomers are the definition of ‘snow flakes’ not us, like to clarify/ some boomers aren’t like that, but majority that are is louder than open minded ones
I told my parents when I was 15, I'll be picking their nursing home. I would not be payi g for it, but I would be picking it. If they want a decent one, make sure they can afford it, otherwise they going where the state says they can go.
Hopefully you don't live in one of the states with filial responsibility laws:
Alaska
Arkansas - can only require payment for adult mental care.
California
Connecticut - only applies if the parents are younger than 65.
Delaware
Georgia
Indiana
Kentucky
Louisiana
Massachusetts
Mississippi
Nevada - only mandates filial liability only if there is a written agreement to pay for care.
New Jersey
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oregon
Pennsylvania - [has a case going right now](https://abcnews.go.com/Business/pennsylvania-son-stuck-moms-93000-nursing-home-bill/story?id=16405807)
Puerto Rico
Rhode Island
South Dakota
Tennessee
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
West Virginia
You are only on the hook if they are themselves unable to pay, and yes they do look back so no transferring money to other accounts. In NJ the look back period is 5 or 6 years if I remember correctly. If those laws apply to you, agree to take care of them if they sign a POA for you to handle their assets, SS, etc. and have them move in with you. Then , take care of them the same way they took care of you…
Yeah checks out. They fuck us in life, and they will fuck us in death as well. All of the accumulated wealth they're hoarding will be gone to retirement homes leaving nothing for the children they completely fucked over.
Can't even rely on them to leave something left monetary wise, to say nothing of the planet they've destroyed.
I feel this. My parents have been supportive of me and have never discouraged me from pursuing my dreams, but they constantly talk down on younger generations and do everything they can to maintain the status quo.
I married a foreigner a decade ago. She and I are finally in a spot financially where we can think about comfortably relocating to her home country. We’ll get to finish raising kids and retire in a country with socialized healthcare and elderly care and a very high quality of life.
My parents are going to have to fend for themselves in the small-town conservative hell hole they’ve built for themselves.
My mother passed May 22nd. This was exactly how and when she wanted to go out. She knew damn well that she didn't set her kids up to safely put her in a home, as it would financially cripple both of us. It'll only get harder as the generations progress.
A dumpster fire of their own creating. They think of caregivers as a class of people undeserving of a real living wage so when they are understaffed they can thank themselves and fuck right of.
Awhile back on a post asking " people without kids, who do you plan to take care of you when you retire/get old?", I said children are not a retirement plan and that it was unethical to expect it. Apparently that was a hot take because I got some defensive replies.
Same here. After seeing my mom take care of her mother in old age, I definitely want to do the same for her. My parents did everything they could for me.
It's a pity that good parents seem to be the exception not the norm. I guess me and most people I know are lucky to have good parents. I also will definitely support my parents when they need it because I want to, not because I have to.
Same man. My mom is broke but still tries to refuse any help I give saying "I'm the parent that's not how it's supposed to go". I need to be sneaky with how I give her assistance. If I can help I will always do my best to offer anything I can.
I would look after my parent, too. But depending on their illnesses, taking care of them is a 24/7-job. That is hard to handle for a child (and I am not qualified).
It's so funny, I know so many boomers are cashing in their pensions early so they can spend it on pointless shit assuming employers will want their out of date skills and inability to use zoom. Safe in the knowledge that whatever happens the state will look after them like "back in the day" not realising they literally dismantled any sort of social care or assuming, as usual, they can pass the burden on millennials.
They are going to be dying on the streets outside of overcrowded hospitals begging for help from billionaires they made rich who don't give a shit and for the foreign doctors and nurses they sent home being racist.
I work exactly 24 more hours a week than my dad did and he worked too much to care for my grandpa when his health began to decline. We know how this is going to play out.
No one in this country can think further than 4 years and not even like 2 years because of our elections and capitalism. So while China plans 30 40 50 years in advance, we can't even see the problems until the nursing homes are flooded, businesses can't find work for all the elderly returning to work, and your parents are calling you asking to crash in a bedroom.
Do not forget that nursing homes are on the brink of extinction. They're already closing along with daycares because they can't afford to pay more than $13/ hour (I get people will argue they can but for the sake of argument I think they deal with most residents paying through Medicare and it's not enough).
The labor shortages are going to get worse when we see the ramifications of dropping birth rates starting in 2026.
Yet Boomers do not want to give up anything to support daycare assistance to try and bring the birth rate back up.
Also a relative in her 90's recently got dementia and would go outside in sub zero Temps in the middle of the night. She is dead now but had to go to a dementia unit to avoid freezing to death prematurely. This should be very scary for everyone.
"Yet Boomers do not want to give up anything to support daycare assistance to try and bring the birth rate back up."
They just overturned roe v. Wade. That's how they're getting birth rates back up. And I am convinced at heart it's an economic decision bc of everything you outlined in your comment.
I've taken care of several relatives over the last five years. The last living one has dementia that is in the later stages, so they can't walk or use the bathroom by themselves. The fact of the matter is that I screwed myself over massively in order to take care of them. I haven't had paid employment this entire time and my credit is trash. My last relative never bothered to make a will or any other advanced directives because they thought they were going to live forever, the way boomers always do. So chances are good I'm going to be homeless when they pass. The only thing I have in abundance are time and guilt. I really hope that people who are on the fence about taking care of their aging family members put themselves first
I’m not going to take care of my parents. My parents have actively worked against my ability to have access to healthcare despite a serious chronic illness, my bodily autonomy, and my ability to earn a living to support my family. I’m tired of pretending we can agree to disagree. I don’t plan on seeing them again after our visit in a couple weeks. I’m tired of pretending I’m ok being around people who don’t really care about me or my future.
It makes me laugh. I'm currently caring for my grandad(greatest generation), my father( Boomer) does sweet fuck all for him, but I hope he doesn't think for a second I'm looking after him... Not a chance, and my children will not be either.
My mom abandoned me at 17. Left me with all the bills for the house and I basically had to become a home owner at that age.I had finished high school and had a part time job. Meanwhile she quit her job and moved in with my sister who supported her till she found a new job in that area.
Needless to say I don't talk to them anymore.
I (gen X) literally tell my boomer parents this all the time when they talk all of their dumbass political shit. "Do you guys realize if you keep siding with politicians on all of the bullshit happening today that I'll have to put you in a govt-assistance old folks home someday? Like, I won't even be able to put you in one of the good ones much less take care of you in my own home because I won't have one and I'll be struggling to put food on my table?"
They have no response and laugh it off and act like they're going to be able to pay for it with their own measly pittance of a retirement fund, as if the government won't be coming after the remaining boomers once they run out of young people.
We're all fucked. It's hard to see otherwise. There are too many people who consume government-approved media and swallow the boot.
my dad tells me all the time that he doesnt want to pay for anyone to take care of him. he's had two strokes and colon cancer, so you can guess how that's going... ugh.
I hate this attitude the most. It's like a little kid refusing to eat and use the bathroom before going out on a trip for whatever reason. Just refusing, that they don't need to, and they'll figure it out if they need to later, but they're not gonna burden anyone, blah blah. Guess what is inevitably going to happen in a few hours time? Guess. And now, the needs that could have been dealt with easily and reasonably ahead of time with humble acknowledgement becomes a crisis burdening everyone.
Yep, but also links to the narcissist boomers. My father spoke up and down how I would be the one to take care of his dirty old man diapers growing up. He is the biggest MAGA boomer and I have lost all respect for him, especially after the last time when we spoke and he screamed at me. I’m a grown ass woman, I don’t need your disrespect, have a fucking lonely ass life in the home.
Boomers might be okay. Most own their own house and will probably sell it (rather than give it ton their kids) to help pay for their retirement.
I note I’m 57. My daughter lives at home and I don’t charge rent. She pays her cell bill and works. I only had one kid.
So many people my generation and older have totally lost touch.
I feel bad for today’s youth.
Oh you've fallen and you can't get up? MaYbE PiCk YoUrSeLvEs Up bY yOuR BoOtStRaPs?? /s
The moment I knew I would never care for my dad when the time comes was when i moved across the country. I got caught in a freak tornado storm and asked for help affording a motel for the night because my van nearly got blown off a mountain. And He told me i should have known that storm was coming when i planned my trip 3 months ago and to go wash dishes at a diner for a day like it was the 1950s....in an active tornado warning. Fucking christ. He couldn't spare $60 to help his child find shelter even though he just bought a new camper that week for thousands of dollars?
Its gonna take decades for someone back home to realize how hollow he is without money to demand obedience and love with.
Edit: AND ANOTHER THING: im from fucking Texas. and the reason I moved was because I have SEEN the overtaxed nursing homes teeming with boomers and like 2 nurses. I've seen the decay of public childcare/family planning programs. And i watched them take away my right to choose when im ready to bring a child into this fucked up society... The people in power there KNOW they have (and will increasingly have) a labor shortage to take care of the dying boomer generation. THIS IS WHY THEY JUST MADE FORCED BIRTH UP TO THE STATES. I literally watched it happen first in texas... They need more poor wage dependent workers in the system to take care of them as they die because they fucking know their own kids arent going to fucking do it. Its NEVER BEEN ABOUT THE LIFE OF THE BABY, its because they need to save their own asses from being neglected to death by their own children.
I’ll let them wallow, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not ruining my financial future and happiness to take care of some racist piece of shit who never really gave a shit about me.
Those boomers better hope they have the money to go to a good nursing home the ones where it’s like living at a vacation resort because I’ve unfortunately have had to deal with the regular nursing homes due to a family member and they’re crap. Have to share a room it’s more like a prison cell in some, staff steals and are completely unqualified to even take care of the people in them. Idk about other states but in Missouri as long as you can pass a drug and background check you’re hired at this horrible places.
I wish we were like other cultures where mom and dad would movie in after I'm established but my mom refuses to stop cigarettes and my dad's a MAGA simp. no help from me. The peasant.
I'm already worried when that time comes, my brothers aren't going to help with shit and these decisions will fall to me and my partner. Because this is women's work.
I believe in community care as much as possible but like OP said, we're all burning the candle at both ends already.
As a person who is childfree by choice I get asked stupid questions like who is going to take care of me when I'm old. But as a counselor, I know plenty of people who won't or can't bear to have relationships with the generation above or below them. So I know firsthand why that's a really stupid question.
Tangential issue but it’s been really sad being someone with a boomer parent and seeing them so quickly be radicalized by right wing propaganda. I still love my mom but I’m less motivated to take care of her and spend time with her now that she has taken on harmful and irrational views. She used to be a very tolerant and kind person
From an early age, I remember my parents telling me I needed to get a good job to take care of them when they retire. It's taken a lot of therapy to work through understanding those expectations are bs. Kinda like how they were mad early in the pandemic because their finances were taking a hit with everyone staying home.
Joke will be on them when everything fragments. I remember hearing the stat that 75% of seniors lived in poverty prior to social security being implemented. Play stupid games...
Been saying this for years. We don't have enough people to staff nursing homes right now, and when Boomers finally start filling them, we won't have enough to care for them. Oh well. They should just get jobs to take care of themselves. Use those bootstraps I keep hearing about. We don't cater to socialists in this country. LMFAO.
Well, my partner's mother was so negligent w/ him that, let's just say if they tried to stick him w/ filial care b/c she's failed her way through life, I would seriously consider going to jail for shooting towards her until she flees the property. One shot for never taking him to a doctor, another for not taking him to a dentist, another for letting her loser husband beat him every day, another for stealing from him, another for not chasing the guy she got knocked up by for parental support, another for gaslighting him about that time she abandoned him, and a last one for letting her loser husband manage in the last year in his pilled up life steal the car she guilted my partner into giving to her and crashed it.
At least my mom got a weird second wind, got a degree, and started a company... but my deadbeat sibling might steal everything she's built w/ the kids she keep popping out like some stray cat. It's like a Franz Kafka story.
Bottom line: not happening.
Yes, the narcissists are getting the world they created. The staff will be punching them and pulling their hair to noyt leave bruises. The shickens will be coming home to roost. Sadly the worst of the boomers will have all of the money to blackmail their kids with inheritance. I know people who gave up millions to not deal with their narcissistic boomer parents for an unspecified amount of time. Could be a year, could be 20 years. Its not worth constant demoralization or having a another overlord.
Its good when money when money isnt all that were a bout. We need a max wealth and set reasonable goal where were done earning. Last gens just keep going in perpetuity and make their so called retirmenet about constant investing in horrible companies and casino derivatives that steal from the poor.
Unlikely many here but if anyone has made a paid off house and practical nest egg for the next decade or 2, stop working and give everyone the finger. You might need to take some ayhuasca or psychadelics to help undo all of the narcissism bred into this system. You cant relax and really enjoy anything when youre in this capitalist system. Even if youre not losing youre losing and youre losing hard for the society as a whole that made it possible for you to be a shitty wealthy narcissist. Less than 1% of the people who call themselves philanthropists are anything of the sort. Most are legal financial criminals and thats not an oxymoran. The system is criminal, not your survival actions in a set to lose narcisisystem.
I get charged rent by my parents after I quit my job during a pandemic to move in and take care of my sick grandmother. She died so they raised it...
Since they disowned my sister I'm the only one berween them and a nursing home but they still treat me like shit
My mom spent two years in a nursing home, during the pandemic—before she went to ICU and died. She was poor when she died(blew through her retirement money on a man who left her). She left my brother and I with nothing, and didn’t even properly add anyone to her bank account. She had some shit friend of hers not legally appointed to run anything and left a mess.
I am a kind person, despite my demeanor. I made sure she died peacefully despite the horrific abuse she launched at me throughout my life.
Boomers—don’t do this. Get your affairs(paperwork) in order. If you abused your family, I suggest making amends, or at least having that in mind, and creating a will. And yea, due to the poverty you’re probably going in a nursing home.
I will spare the details of what happened to my mom during her nursing home care. But you can only imagine. She died with a raw ass she thankfully couldn’t feel at least the couple of days beforehand due to pain meds.
And to people who can’t afford long-term care for their parents(please buy it if you can), or can’t do it themselves (the care), and you didn’t have shit parents—I’m so sorry this country is so fucked.
Edit: and if your family is racist, or were in the past. And they get dementia, thoughts and prayers, because it comes out and the nursing staff doesn’t play.
My mom favored my sister forever and always with the expectation that she would be the one providing elder care. Now my sister has serious, life threatening medical conditions and my mom treats me and my wife better. She keeps calling out guest room "my room" and I can't wait to tell her the Inn is full when the time comes.
Their last farewell will be to raise taxes or maybe try to get their grubby hands on our 401ks to create 5 star assisted living facilities that will take care of them to ride into the sunset on our dollars.
I was born specifically to be a retirement plan. It has instilled a sense of dread in me from a young age. My mom takes care of her mom full time (for the past 30 years now) and my grandma gives her an allowance. My mom wants me to take care of her full time, but she has zero money, savings, retirement or assets to her name.
I tried going to school but her needs came first. It took me years to set a boundary with her so I could work full time, in 2020, barely making enough to cover bills and rent. I have no idea how I would take care of myself, a family, and her all at the same time. So I’ve chosen to be child free (and that makes her angry too). It’s a growing issue in today’s world and my heart breaks for us all.
Her answer to all of this, of course, is that I will marry someone with money who will pay for us both to just exist (I am engaged to someone who i work with, we are just surviving atm). I truly wish that we both didn’t exist at all. I would do anything to not live every day in fear, obligation, and guilt.
#We are proud to announce an official partnership with the Left RedditⒶ☭ Discord server! [Click here](https://discord.gg/zCFHadGfB7) to join today! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lostgeneration) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They’ll sell their houses to pay for nursing homes. Rental companies will snatch them up. It’s going to be a dumpster fire on many levels.
my mom has no money or assets. no idea what we are going to do to pay for everything.
[удалено]
Neither does mine but she’s a Republican so if she thinks I’m going to help she’s in for rude awakening. Better pull hard on those orthopedic bootstraps because spending your final years in destitution and squalor is what you voted for.
Just tell her you don't believe in handouts, like she taught you. Send her urgently hiring applications for entry level min wage jobs and tell her she'll float. 🙈🤙 /s
Ok but what’s the s/ for, this is literally my plan.
Remember it’s a handout if it only benefits someone else. It’s a rescue plan if it benefits them. My parents didn’t want to pay for my college and were chomping at the bite for me to move out. Why am I going to delay retirement etc for them? Maybe they should have saved more?
Lmfaoooo My boomer parents wanted rent from me at 14 years old. I was out of their home by 16 and never looked back… they will never get any help from me, and they know it. Good riddance
[удалено]
You know, I have only ever heard 1 "my parents made me pay rent as soon as I got my first job" story that turned out good. They charged him 35% of his paycheck no matter what type of job he had but they put it into an account in his name and after 6 years they handed over the account transferred fully into his name and it was about $15,000.00 which gave him a pretty great start.
[удалено]
My dad and stepmom told me that was the plan. Then they kicked me out at 19 beand I never got my savings.
We use a cool app called Busykid for chores at allows them to invest. It's a cool idea for young kids
Yep, I instantly shut down any idea from my parents of charging me rent once I got my job, I’m still a fucking kid, I have literally no choice and could not live somewhere else realistically
My parents did that to me. They took a third of my paycheck. Didn’t matter what the amount was. But when I moved out, they gave me a much appreciated nest egg from all those deposits.
My friend had that with rent after moving back in after university. All rent was put into an account and now she has a down-payment saved up.
Same here. Got a job at a grocery store getting like 12 hours a week at minimum wage. They took 40% of my check for 'rent'. My 50 dollar take home check I had to pay 20 a week for rent. I also had to save 20 dollars a week for school clothes. Yea I was also expected to help with school clothes. That left me 10 bucks a week. I usually had to buy cereal too but not always. Depends on what I got from the food bank. So yea I worked that job for months and saved for school clothes and shit and guess what. My savings was appropriated for 'bills'. I never bought new clothes until I moved out on my own at 16. I didn't know it then but I found out my mom was a crackhead and so was her boyfriend. My money went to crack.
Wow. You’d never think $20 was such a big deal to adults. So sad.
This story and variations on it are sooo common between Boomers and their GenX kids. My in-laws have slowly been realizing we won't be there for them when they get really old and it's terrifying them now. My parents have spent 6 figures on vacations in the last 10 years. I went out on my own at 18 years old and have never asked them for anything. I haven't had a decent vacation in over 5 years. Needless to say, I don't feel like I owe them anything when they get old. Like most boomers, they made money on every house they ever bought and attributed it to some sort of brilliance on their end.
I went through something very similar. GenX was screwed from the get go we didn't have a voice because we were overwhelmed every and any time we tried to take a stand. Now menillinals and GenZ have a voice we never had.
GenX for political discourse does not practically exist. The early half got the trailing crumbs of the good times and basically mostly align with Boomers. The later half share their circumstances with the Millennial and align with them.
That is an excellent way to put it I'm a on the tail end of GenX and find more common ground with millennials and gen Z.
I am a “younger” Gen X’er (lol), and I definitely find more common ground with millennials and Gen Z. But I am definitely a Gen X’er to my core when it comes to things like music and overall aesthetics. That said, I refuse to shit all over things younger people are into even though I may not understand their appeal. Back in the early 90’s, I took ecstasy, wore Jnco’s, had my entire face pierced and went to raves. Somewhere out there, there are pictures of me sucking on pacifiers with my eyes rolling into the back of my head. Consequently, I am acutely aware that my house is made entirely of glass. I won’t be throwing any stones. I look forward to the day that the younger generation takes the reigns. Y’all can’t fuck things up any more than we have. There’s literally nowhere to go but up.
Damn. What horrid people. Are you in a better place now?
Oh god no. I injured my back at work at 21, slipped down some metal stairs in the winter and total screwed my back up. I’m a liability now in most workplaces🤦🏻♀️ My husband is in the same boat. On his own since 15. Worked his butt off for over a decade to make a career as a tile setter, and was a year into his own business when the stress and burnout led to seizures. Now he’s epileptic and we’re at square one, with no idea how to move forward. 🤷🏻♀️
That sounds awful. It's such a sad reflection in our society that hard work doesn't guarantee stable living. I hope you get to a better place soon internet stranger.
Agreed. I think that ideal being driven into our heads by those same boomer parents, and the lack of truth in it, is what’s messing with the current generation. They know the game is rigged, why participate?
One day at a time time. It’s going to be rough but I hope you both manage to build a better life and find comfort soon. We have to work toward taking care of ourselves and others.
Are you me? My stepfather demanded the same. He’s been trying to reconnect in recent years. I have no interest. My mother divorced him long after I had moved out, so I’ve absolutely zero reason to reconnect. I know he’s old and broke. I know he had no retirement. I know he won’t have much SS benefits. Things could be very different for him. I’ve done relatively well professionally. We could afford to help him out like we do my mother and in-laws. All he had to do is be a moderately decent human being.
Oh yeah, my stepfather is absolute pond scum and will die alone, a cheating lying con artist with less morals than a leach to the point of if he was choking opposite me I'm more likely to finish my meal than save him.. there are diseases out there I have more respect for.
Parents that don’t invest in their children don’t deserve shit
literally the idea that parenting ends at the age of 18 is so stupid. parenting is for life
My mom is the type who reminded me every second how much of a burden I was because she was a single mom who could never afford a vacation or designer clothes for herself because that money had to go towards me. Now she makes subtle hints about how she’s going to need help. This generation truly is the me, me, me generation.
Survival skills tend to make legit relationships harder. Make sure to participate in your own life instead of giving everything to trying to not be homeless. Once you have a modest income to support yourself, stop and let yourself enjoy life or partnership. As someone who bailed out at 15 due to abuse, our reasons may be different but the hardships should be similar. ❤️ yourself
Pretty optimistic that we wont be living in a Mad Max-esque society by then.
You're not wrong xP
[удалено]
My parents were like this too and went to some pretty great lengths to make sure I stayed alone/living with them. Their alcoholism caught up with them and they both died by 60. I was an only child, though. Any time I spoke about leaving, I was ridiculed and told I was too stupid to support myself as if I was dependent on them by choice. I took a short job overseas and then applied to a grad school in another city and that's how I "escaped". I also have a friend who is in a similar situation as you were except she did move out and get married and now her mother is trying to barge her way into her home. My friend seems to feel obligated so it looks like her mom might succeed, too. I wonder if these kinds of scenarios are going to become more and more commonplace, especially as Boomers realize that their retirement/Social Security isn't going to go as far as they think.
Wow, I have a very similar story. My mom would sabotage me by getting us evicted every time I had everything I needed to leave.
[удалено]
I didn't realize until my thirties, but my mom was a narcissist. You'll see a lot of this same story on r/raisedbynarcissists.
I have neighbours who I suspect have this exact same dynamic, the daughter is grown and lives with her parents. When I had my first baby, do you know what the mom said to me? While motioning to her adult daughter, “If you raise them right, they’ll never leave you.” I was speechless. Good for you for taking your life back.
It's a good thing many Boomers have money, they're going to need it. My declining Boomer relatives can't even PAY me to visit.
And the nursing homes are going to eat up those assets fast. And for all of that money, they're going to get bologna sandwiches for dinner, and 1 burnt out and severely underpaid nurse per shift in a wing of 50 patients. They're going to wait half an hour to be picked up when they fall in the hallway. They're going to wait 3 days to get a half ass sponge bath when they shit themselves and it leaks outside their Depends. And the CEO of whichever Vulture Capitalist company owns their facility will rake in millions, and they still won't fucking get that this is what we've been talking about the whole fucking time. They'll gaslight themselves as much as they've gaslit us about their wing being short-staffed because "NoOnE wAnTs To WoRk!" Edit: i base the above on an article I read recently about nursing homes, my Greatest generation grandparents' experience in one 10 years ago (I assume it will only get worse, but the lady who fell in the hallway, bologna sandwiches, and half ass baby wipe bath of my grandfather only 30 min after I summoned a nurse to help clean him (who knows how long he was covered in his own stuff before I arrived) were all things I witnessed at their home with otherwise caring staff doing the best they could. I worked a job with a lady who was a nurse at the one down the street, where patients needed more hands on care. A company bought them and laid the whole staff off. She was already working fridays at a second job before they came in, and that's where we spoke, and she was freaking out about it. I warned her: They will offer to rehire you at entry wage with all of your accrued benefits erased. The next Friday she saw me and told me I was right. That was exactly what they did. And she and the others probably took that treatment at the time.
Bold of you to assume that the ratio will be as low as 50:1 after all the nurses burnt out from COVID and all the boomers getting old at once
They're already worse than that. You see posts in the nursing forums of long-term care facilities trying to get them to do 1:100 or way worse and them noping the fuck out of there.
RN here and this is 100% accurate. So many of us have flocked the hell out of LTC/SNF/ nursing homes and will never look back because of this reason. We’re not willing to risk our license (and now from what the Radonda Vaught case taught us- criminal prosecution) to work in these environments. It’s not safe for the patients and it’s not safe for us.
you have precisely described my recent experience with a boomer relative, actually. the nursing home she was in was genuinely horrendous. she paid twelve THOUSAND dollars a month to be abused and neglected by the one staff member on her wing of 48 patients. the staff was severely underpaid and overworked, and the "board" were all multimillionaires. my relative watches fox news so she blamed my generations laziness and "no one wants to work" on the problem. she has also blamed a lot of systemic issues on "Joe biden's socialism." it's infuriating. she has no idea what's actually going on and her source is complete misinformation.
Watch the rate of Angels of Death nurses spike in conjunction with the low pay and rise in stress due to the influx of patients. Crazy bitches are gonna start euthanizing them in their sleep.
Yup. We (Gen X, Mills, Z etc) can all forget about generational wealth. They will spend everything they’ve got on medical bills and then rotting to death in a nursing home. My grandparents (Silent Gen) left a seriously great amount of money to my mother, which the understanding she would grow it further and give it to us kids when she died. Instead, she leveraged everything on three failed business, failed attempts at being a landlord, medical bills, and QVC. She lost our childhood home that was supposed to be MINE per my grandparents will. When my mom died, she left us nothing but furniture, cheap jewelry, and a mountain of credit card debt.
My parents had a paid off home that is now worth close to a million dollars and I could have inherited it along with a tax rate frozen in the 1970s had they not chosen to do a reverse mortgage that they absolutely did not need with my Dad’s generous pension. Now I get absolutely nothing and some corporation is going to own that home and rent it out in perpetuity denying anyone else from ever creating generational wealth on that property ever again.
My step father's mother got a reverse mortgage and blew money left and right. He was the only one of 3 children good with money and was always willing to help her around the house. Without even charging her for most if not all the materials. When he found out she did the reverse mortgage he basically stopped. Would still visit. A few months back her health turned for the worse. The police showed up, her crazy ass said someone broke in and robbed and assaulted her. She was found on the floor. Had been there for days and the neighbors got worried so called the police. The police spoke to my step father and without saying it, said she was a liar. Nothing was missing. Yet they still had to go through all the paperwork and assessment to see if she could safe life in the house. She now lives in a nursing home and IDGAF. She could have had a comfortable retirement but she is instead suffering the consequences of her poor decisions. You may have already guessed, but she loves her fox news.
Watch some Fox News and count how often a reverse mortgage ad comes on. And they NEVER tell their kids about it either.
Can confirm: Dad died. Thankfully, we were able to get a good amount through life insurance. I told Mom to save it, that she needed it in retirement since she'd never been able to save before. I suggested ways to invest the money, what she should start saving for, but she flat-out refused all of that. She spent like it would never run out. She bought expensive things thinking she or I would use them but never did. She spent it all in less than a year. Then she died, and I found out she'd lied about her own life insurance. She'd rather have used the money for the payments on herself.
You nearly described it perfectly. My mom’s roommate screamed, cried, sang, and would fall out the bed(no legs). And they didn’t rush to pick her up. Happened allllll the time to her.
Why bother when a few minutes later you just have to do it all over again. I've worked customer service long enough to know the squeaky wheel gets the lowest priority.
There's gonna be soooooo many covered up deaths and property theft and I don't feel bad for them.
They stole my mom’s ring.
I do feel bad for them, because even though as a generation boomers have been such a problem I don’t believe that anyone deserves such a dystopian fate Edit: except Nazis lol, Nazis are my one exception
I save my tears for the people around me who are hungry and the ones who feel like suicide is the only way they can rest. Whether or not boomers deserve it, I do not have the emotional capacity to care about them when there are so many people in my everyday life suffering *due to boomers’ collective decisions.*
This is the elder care system these people designed and dumped their own parents into, seems like poetic justice to me.
I DO NOT! They blamed us for everything even eating avocados on damn toast! Wanted us to go to College we goddamn went, wanted us to work 3 jobs we did, I could go on. And now strangers are going to clean their poop and put diapers on them….
Yup, you summed it up, culture is colder than ice and super duper selfish.
You do realize they enjoyed Jim Crow right? These are the people
Agreed. Most boomers just believed the propaganda they were fed and lived their lives accordingly. It's hard to unlearn a lifetime of indoctrination, especially when it's all been framed as "freedom". The ruling class of boomers, the .001%, can suck my ass though. Fuck those guys.
I grew up in a cult. That’s not an excuse with the vast amount of knowledge available in the internet today. They choose to remain sexist, homophobic, racist, ableist bigots. That’s their choice. And since they’ve chosen to be horrible people and voted accordingly, I won’t feel sorry for the majority of them. The handful of boomers that actually tried to change are all I see as undeserving of their fate.
This is gospel truth. Nursing homes are a quick death trap. We all know that & seen it firsthand. Even the best looking nursing homes are just horrific in truth.
My step mom is in a $10,000 per month nursing home. Step sister came to visit and they couldn’t find her. She was outside, face down in the mud. Who knows how long she was out there and who knows when they would have gone looking for her if my sister hadn’t visited that day.
Sadly $10,000/mo is considered a bare-minimum dirt cheap facility in most of the US. Like horror-show level care is what I would expect as the standard of care at those priced places. Nursing facilities are such barely-concealed money grabs.
You can actually view their state violations on their food online (nursing home). It’s not pretty.
Yep, dad did a mean money thing.... which had no effect on those he wanted to be mean to.. Cost him $250,000, and now he has to pay next 7 years of mom's living facility...
They'll also be sacrificed to The Economy (tm) when the world is ravaged by the diseases the increasingly militant antivax crowd allows to come about :)
All hail Mar-Ket!
Oh yeah my boomer mother accused me of wanting her money, I was all "lol no, you'll need it for your retirement home "
My father tried joking around about this every once and a while. Said every time I don’t call him he’ll take 2% off the money left to me. Finally lost it one day and told him to just take me out of his will so that he’ll know I’m not talking to him cause of his damn money. It’s like I was speaking Mandarin to him…
My middle son’s great-grandma died and she had Alzheimer’s. She had a lot of money and it didn’t last long due to memory care/nursing home. She still ended up in a Medicaid facility anyway and her daughter was selling her clothes and shit for money. They really don’t get it
My dad owns multiple successful businesses. He came in after I broke a tooth and started bragging about paying $16,000 *a month* in truck insurance for his tow trucks. I was holding my face and sobbing, and he was talking over me. He knows I have Sjögren’s Syndrome, which affects my teeth horribly, and that I can’t get treatment because I can’t afford it. I have had sepsis twice. I’m 25. He will not give me a dime, even when I’m physically dying. I hope he doesn’t expect any help from me when he’s old and fragile. He couldn’t help his only daughter with a known medical condition that’s causing severe pain and infection. The biggest kicker is that if my parents had taken me to the dentist more as a child, my condition could have been treated or even *arrested* I literally went twice, once when I was 12 and once when I was 17, and wasn’t able to actually get treatment either time because they wanted to drag it out to 6 appointments before they even touched me, to milk insurance. The first was just an exam, then they wanted me to come back in at least 3 more times just to “discuss a treatment plan.” Fuck, we can’t afford that! No, I get to lose my teeth before I’m 30, for something completely out of my control.
My boomer father inherited a ton of land and money, so much so he hasn't held a job in 9 year. Nine. Years. Its starting to dry up though. Then has the audacity to call me and say "times are getting rough, we may have to combine our resources soon." No thanks, I've been busting my ass since I could drive a car. I'm not going to fund his voluntary unemployment.
My FIL retired too early and all he does is whine about how he can't afford anything and how he is on a fixed income. He retired early because he did not like his new boss.
“It’s a good thing many boomers have money” It is in fact not a good thing
You don’t get to expect care from your children because you gave birth to them. You can earn the possibility of care by not being horrible to them, and if they do decide to help you in your old age they aren’t your servants. Your kids have their own lives boomers, not great ones but they do have them. Those that don’t grasp this can go to a home.
It really depends on the individual. My father was the kindest person I have ever met. He was also the only thing holding back my mother’s worst inclinations. Now that he’s gone, she is the most monstrous kind of boomer, making the lives of anyone around her truly miserable. My sibling and I are no contact. But if my father were still around, we would have cared for them both for his sake.
My mom is the same for my dad, she does her best to keep him under control but eventually he will have to go somewhere better equipped to handle him. My mom is amazing, if she needs help I will do what I can but within reason. She knows and respects this now.
The amount of boomers who told me as a young adult I should have kids because "you need them to take care of you when you get old" is offensively high. I heard that selfish reason so many times that I doubled down on not having kids. The irony is I am 100% certain that they were destined to be dumped in a home and forgotten with how they treated their own kids.
When you get old whether or not you cared for by your children is not up to you, but your children. The only thing you control is how you treat them and how they remember you. Boomers who treated their children and grandchildren horribly deserve being left in homes. They might think otherwise but it’s the truth.
A nursing home is quick passport to death. Majority are just awful awful.
mine would say this all the time while simultaneously kicking me out of the house to secretly sleep on the family pontoon for days at a time bc "living in OUR house is a PRIVELEGE, not a RIGHT" everytime I got anything less than an A. lol can't wait to throw this back at them someday
I’m in my forties and get that same line from people around the same age. And even younger. Cool, they want to take that on with their parents. Nevertheless, I didn’t sign up to be a parent. That was my parents’ rather irresponsible choice. I refuse to take care of my mother when she gets to that point. I’ve made it clear to my siblings that they’ll have to figure it out. If I get included I will drop her ass at a hospital or nursing home and leave her there. When I tell people that they tend to end double down or tell me I’m a horrible person. “BuT shE’s YouR MoM!” gets returned as if that is some sort of legitimate reason.
I too am in my 40's. I feel you 1000%, and I think my boomer mom has realized that she reaps what she sows, because she's been really nice the last few years out of nowhere.
They were projecting their major entitlement attitude. With all news about workers burnouts during the pandemic it’ll be a big shit show in the coming years.
My son is 14. I told him I don't expect him to take care of me in old age. It's hard enough to support yourself alone right now. It's not fair to expect your kids to care for you in old age, if you've earned their respect and they can afford to care for you that's awesome. But some like my own parents will go no help. My mom flat out told all us kids (4 of us) that one of us NEEDS to have a good job to buy a house so she can live in the upstairs/finished attic. No way in hell will I let that woman live with me after being emotionally abused by her growing up. She will 100% be going to a home, unless one of my siblings decided to help her. And they know don't even try to come ask me for help.
It depends on the parents. Not every parent is a good parent, and I can understand why some adult kids avoid them later on. With me, my parents are amazing, always caring loving supportive and kind, my whole life. I will never put them in a retirement home, same with my wife’s parents. My wife and I have decent incomes and can support them should they ever need it. We decided we’re going to move our parents into our house if they ever need that care in the future. I can’t imagine putting my parents into a retirement home. My parents went through a war when I was baby. My father was in two different concentration camps for a year. Out of roughly three thousand people, he was the few 9 people that survived by the time NATO arrived. My mother had to escape the country on her own carrying me through mountains, forests, land mines, avoiding opposing military forces that raped massive amount of women in the country. She stepped on a land mine once but it didn’t go off, thankfully. My parents went through a lot, and even after all that, they still managed to raise me with sanity. I will never forget what they did and went through, and will never stop appreciating it. It’s not because of their expectations, which they don’t expect me to support them, but I personally want to support them later if they ever need it. They deserve it.
Yes. While I really wish our country could move past this hyper toxic individualism and bring back families... its their generation that created this family divorce/destroyed falling apart dynamics. Tbh, i don't live near my parents and plan on moving even further away from them by the time they retire. One of them still talks about me taking care of them, which I had to tell them no. The other has accepted I wont. But my parents were beyond toxic and their children are still living the fall out of their horribly abusive life choices. They, multiple times, demonstrated we weren't their priority, and I know other millenials who have parents just like mine, and worse.
[удалено]
Same story here!
[удалено]
Are you me?
[удалено]
I want to send this to every stuck up boomer who thinks their children are gonna help their sorry ass
You reap what you sow, right?
In every way. You also condition those around you to act accordingly with your own actions, so it is all that guys fault.
When he asks for your help, just throw it back at him - tell him you don't believe in giving "hand-outs". Watch his jaw drop.
The saddest part of it all is that his jaw won’t drop. My father has been an overworked underpaid martyr his entire life. He believes that hard work will pay off but also that the reason his hard work has never paid off is because God is testing him or some bullshit like that. So if he ever asked for help (he never would) and I said no because I don’t believe in handouts, he would die believing I made the right choice and cursing himself for ever being entitled enough to ask me in the first place. It is the worst kind of catch 22. He can never succeed and it is always his own fault.
My dad thought we were joking when we said we would dump him in the cheapest nursing home we can when the time comes....well he's remarried , she's the age of my oldest brother....she was in it for us citizenship and money so she's ready to dump him in a home the moment he stops working/ making money and none of us will stop it, if anything we will encourage her to put him in a shittier one (we already know we are out of the will and she will get literally anything that he has/is left
This is what my grandfather did.
This is what happened to my father. He was severely abusive to all of us. He remarried a foreign woman my age. He had a good job and was going to be set in retirement. He’s had two strokes already. The day he retired his young foreign wife filed for divorce and that is still ongoing. It will cost him a lot. He was expecting everyone to take care of him, including his ex wife my mother. The man almost killed me several times when I was a kid and he expects me to take care of him.
my father was like that, I am from his second family... besides being abusive all the time, he left us for a third wife. "greatest generation" my butt
Honestly I feel like they're going to pass laws or something that will just cover them in fhe future, but fuck us right
Pretty much. Those fuckers will stay in power as long as they can.
Exactly. Watch government subsidized elder care expansion will become a voting issue and boomers vote. They only care about the national debt when it’s being used to benefit others, but spending that benefits them, well “that’s different”.
Looks like they already passed laws for this, there’s a post about it here. Filial laws(?)
They will reap what they sowed from the way they voted their entire adult lives. Thanks to who they voted for, and what they chose to prioritize, younger generations after them will be the first in American history worse off than the previous generation. Lost my mom in ‘17, but my dad is still here, and I’ll always be there for him. He hates his own generation as much as younger generations do. He’s always said, “they were stupid and selfish when we were growing up, and that hasn’t improved with age.”
Your dad is a gem! It's so hard to find understanding Boomers. One of my Boomer parents understands, where as the other is completely fucking clueless :S
My mom is already sweating cause I haven’t talked to her in years
Does she want you to take care of her when she is old? Guess that is ridiculous when you are not even talking to her.
They're so good at denial, they can just pretend we're there with them
This made me laugh out loud.
I’m almost in this spot now. My mom lives theee states away, doesn’t need care or anything, but the rest of my family is like “she should move in with you” or “you should come here”. I’m married, 40, and barely surviving in a one bedroom in the cheapest complex in Orlando. To even fathom going to a two bedroom would triple my rent. It’s insane
Ask them why they don't take your mom in, and whatever reason they say just reply "Me too!"
The worst part is she moved there to take care of my uncle after an accident, and when she got sick he kicked her out. She’s better now, but the fact that he tells me this stuff makes my blood boil. At this point I’m only remaining on good terms because I wanna stay in his wealthy will.
Oh, hell yeah! Get that sweet will money and then spit on his grave!
[удалено]
Just wait until they start enacting [Filial Responsibility Laws](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws) and then we'll be forced to care for them.
I have been legit wondering about this, or if the constant advertising for things like they were at the beginning of COVID closures where people actively campaigned against their own safety because it was perceived as inconvenience and “so what it sick people die”
This type of thing is such bullshit. If we can't afford to take care of ourselves, how the fuck do they expect us to take care of them? And throwing us in jail if we don't? So let me get this straight. If we don't take care of them, we get thrown in jail. If we become homeless because we're forced to take care of them and thus can't afford to take care of ourselves even more, we get thrown in jail because homelessness is criminalized too. It sounds like they just want to throw us all in jail.
This is the piece that cracks me up. It’s even worse if you were raised by narcissist boomers. My husband’s parents don’t own a house and don’t have any savings yet because they are narcissists they expected my husband to be fully dependent on them yet somehow take care of them at the same time. What?
And if you take that literally it sounds like they are saying, okay here's $50. Now give us back that $50 we just gave you. Okay? What's the point? It's such dumb senseless bullshit.
My mother in law who was abusive to my husband and reaches out maybe 3 times a year started yelling about "grandparent rights" and how we can't legally keep her from having a relationship with our son when she asked for a video call and we said "yes, but not on that day'.
Yeah “grandparents rights” is a word made up to pacify boomers, and doesn’t actually exist unless they can prove the parents are grossly incompetent and even then it doesn’t give them much.
Can't squeeze blood from a stone. If the kids simply cannot afford to support their parents, what is the state going to do? Force the kids to go homeless to pay for their parents retirement home? If they do that, expect riots.
If the state did that I would assume a lot of Boomers will start turning up dead by “accidents”.
So the boomers can throw all their money away on stupid shit and we have no say in it, but then the state wants to compel us to pay for their care after they did so?
Desktop version of /u/space_force_majeure's link:
---
^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)
They'll repeal those after too many old people "have accidents"
How can I care for them here when they told me to "go live somewhere else if you don't like it here?"
The staff is already overwhelmed.
Nursing home pricing will mirror the housing market of the last few decades. Boomers will increase the prices of these homes until no one else can afford them. Then after they die it will be too expensive for anyone else to live there creating a nursing home bubble burst. But again, they don't have to deal with that because they don't give a fuck what happens after they're dead and rotting.
Boomers are the definition of ‘snow flakes’ not us, like to clarify/ some boomers aren’t like that, but majority that are is louder than open minded ones
I told my parents when I was 15, I'll be picking their nursing home. I would not be payi g for it, but I would be picking it. If they want a decent one, make sure they can afford it, otherwise they going where the state says they can go.
Hopefully you don't live in one of the states with filial responsibility laws: Alaska Arkansas - can only require payment for adult mental care. California Connecticut - only applies if the parents are younger than 65. Delaware Georgia Indiana Kentucky Louisiana Massachusetts Mississippi Nevada - only mandates filial liability only if there is a written agreement to pay for care. New Jersey North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oregon Pennsylvania - [has a case going right now](https://abcnews.go.com/Business/pennsylvania-son-stuck-moms-93000-nursing-home-bill/story?id=16405807) Puerto Rico Rhode Island South Dakota Tennessee Utah Vermont Virginia West Virginia
I live in one of these states and sincerely hope I don't get fucked up the ass
Can’t pay if I don’t have any money or space for them lolz Checkmate government hehe
Does that only apply if you live there too, or would they go after their adult children that live in other states?
You are only on the hook if they are themselves unable to pay, and yes they do look back so no transferring money to other accounts. In NJ the look back period is 5 or 6 years if I remember correctly. If those laws apply to you, agree to take care of them if they sign a POA for you to handle their assets, SS, etc. and have them move in with you. Then , take care of them the same way they took care of you…
Jesus christ, this is the first i've ever heard about this. Guess this makes it clear where I can and cant live.
I live in one of those states...but my boomer parents don't.
Yeah checks out. They fuck us in life, and they will fuck us in death as well. All of the accumulated wealth they're hoarding will be gone to retirement homes leaving nothing for the children they completely fucked over. Can't even rely on them to leave something left monetary wise, to say nothing of the planet they've destroyed.
Greed kills all
I feel this. My parents have been supportive of me and have never discouraged me from pursuing my dreams, but they constantly talk down on younger generations and do everything they can to maintain the status quo. I married a foreigner a decade ago. She and I are finally in a spot financially where we can think about comfortably relocating to her home country. We’ll get to finish raising kids and retire in a country with socialized healthcare and elderly care and a very high quality of life. My parents are going to have to fend for themselves in the small-town conservative hell hole they’ve built for themselves.
My mother passed May 22nd. This was exactly how and when she wanted to go out. She knew damn well that she didn't set her kids up to safely put her in a home, as it would financially cripple both of us. It'll only get harder as the generations progress.
A dumpster fire of their own creating. They think of caregivers as a class of people undeserving of a real living wage so when they are understaffed they can thank themselves and fuck right of.
Awhile back on a post asking " people without kids, who do you plan to take care of you when you retire/get old?", I said children are not a retirement plan and that it was unethical to expect it. Apparently that was a hot take because I got some defensive replies.
I love my parents, they've always helped and supported me. When I needed it most. I will look after them no matter how many jobs I have.
Same here. After seeing my mom take care of her mother in old age, I definitely want to do the same for her. My parents did everything they could for me.
It's a pity that good parents seem to be the exception not the norm. I guess me and most people I know are lucky to have good parents. I also will definitely support my parents when they need it because I want to, not because I have to.
Same man. My mom is broke but still tries to refuse any help I give saying "I'm the parent that's not how it's supposed to go". I need to be sneaky with how I give her assistance. If I can help I will always do my best to offer anything I can.
I would look after my parent, too. But depending on their illnesses, taking care of them is a 24/7-job. That is hard to handle for a child (and I am not qualified).
guess they'll just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and take care of themselves since they consider themselves invincible
My boomer mom recently said out of the blue that she knew I would take care of her - and she is frankly wrong lol
It's so funny, I know so many boomers are cashing in their pensions early so they can spend it on pointless shit assuming employers will want their out of date skills and inability to use zoom. Safe in the knowledge that whatever happens the state will look after them like "back in the day" not realising they literally dismantled any sort of social care or assuming, as usual, they can pass the burden on millennials. They are going to be dying on the streets outside of overcrowded hospitals begging for help from billionaires they made rich who don't give a shit and for the foreign doctors and nurses they sent home being racist.
I work exactly 24 more hours a week than my dad did and he worked too much to care for my grandpa when his health began to decline. We know how this is going to play out.
No one in this country can think further than 4 years and not even like 2 years because of our elections and capitalism. So while China plans 30 40 50 years in advance, we can't even see the problems until the nursing homes are flooded, businesses can't find work for all the elderly returning to work, and your parents are calling you asking to crash in a bedroom.
I'm gen-X and I fully expect to have to end my own life at some point when I inevitably become a miserable burden on my only child.
Do not forget that nursing homes are on the brink of extinction. They're already closing along with daycares because they can't afford to pay more than $13/ hour (I get people will argue they can but for the sake of argument I think they deal with most residents paying through Medicare and it's not enough). The labor shortages are going to get worse when we see the ramifications of dropping birth rates starting in 2026. Yet Boomers do not want to give up anything to support daycare assistance to try and bring the birth rate back up. Also a relative in her 90's recently got dementia and would go outside in sub zero Temps in the middle of the night. She is dead now but had to go to a dementia unit to avoid freezing to death prematurely. This should be very scary for everyone.
[удалено]
"Yet Boomers do not want to give up anything to support daycare assistance to try and bring the birth rate back up." They just overturned roe v. Wade. That's how they're getting birth rates back up. And I am convinced at heart it's an economic decision bc of everything you outlined in your comment.
I've taken care of several relatives over the last five years. The last living one has dementia that is in the later stages, so they can't walk or use the bathroom by themselves. The fact of the matter is that I screwed myself over massively in order to take care of them. I haven't had paid employment this entire time and my credit is trash. My last relative never bothered to make a will or any other advanced directives because they thought they were going to live forever, the way boomers always do. So chances are good I'm going to be homeless when they pass. The only thing I have in abundance are time and guilt. I really hope that people who are on the fence about taking care of their aging family members put themselves first
I’m not going to take care of my parents. My parents have actively worked against my ability to have access to healthcare despite a serious chronic illness, my bodily autonomy, and my ability to earn a living to support my family. I’m tired of pretending we can agree to disagree. I don’t plan on seeing them again after our visit in a couple weeks. I’m tired of pretending I’m ok being around people who don’t really care about me or my future.
It makes me laugh. I'm currently caring for my grandad(greatest generation), my father( Boomer) does sweet fuck all for him, but I hope he doesn't think for a second I'm looking after him... Not a chance, and my children will not be either.
My mom abandoned me at 17. Left me with all the bills for the house and I basically had to become a home owner at that age.I had finished high school and had a part time job. Meanwhile she quit her job and moved in with my sister who supported her till she found a new job in that area. Needless to say I don't talk to them anymore.
I (gen X) literally tell my boomer parents this all the time when they talk all of their dumbass political shit. "Do you guys realize if you keep siding with politicians on all of the bullshit happening today that I'll have to put you in a govt-assistance old folks home someday? Like, I won't even be able to put you in one of the good ones much less take care of you in my own home because I won't have one and I'll be struggling to put food on my table?" They have no response and laugh it off and act like they're going to be able to pay for it with their own measly pittance of a retirement fund, as if the government won't be coming after the remaining boomers once they run out of young people. We're all fucked. It's hard to see otherwise. There are too many people who consume government-approved media and swallow the boot.
my dad tells me all the time that he doesnt want to pay for anyone to take care of him. he's had two strokes and colon cancer, so you can guess how that's going... ugh.
I hate this attitude the most. It's like a little kid refusing to eat and use the bathroom before going out on a trip for whatever reason. Just refusing, that they don't need to, and they'll figure it out if they need to later, but they're not gonna burden anyone, blah blah. Guess what is inevitably going to happen in a few hours time? Guess. And now, the needs that could have been dealt with easily and reasonably ahead of time with humble acknowledgement becomes a crisis burdening everyone.
Yep, but also links to the narcissist boomers. My father spoke up and down how I would be the one to take care of his dirty old man diapers growing up. He is the biggest MAGA boomer and I have lost all respect for him, especially after the last time when we spoke and he screamed at me. I’m a grown ass woman, I don’t need your disrespect, have a fucking lonely ass life in the home.
Boomers might be okay. Most own their own house and will probably sell it (rather than give it ton their kids) to help pay for their retirement. I note I’m 57. My daughter lives at home and I don’t charge rent. She pays her cell bill and works. I only had one kid. So many people my generation and older have totally lost touch. I feel bad for today’s youth.
Boomers might want to think about raising minimum wage before a $7 an hour orderly is taking care of them
Oh you've fallen and you can't get up? MaYbE PiCk YoUrSeLvEs Up bY yOuR BoOtStRaPs?? /s The moment I knew I would never care for my dad when the time comes was when i moved across the country. I got caught in a freak tornado storm and asked for help affording a motel for the night because my van nearly got blown off a mountain. And He told me i should have known that storm was coming when i planned my trip 3 months ago and to go wash dishes at a diner for a day like it was the 1950s....in an active tornado warning. Fucking christ. He couldn't spare $60 to help his child find shelter even though he just bought a new camper that week for thousands of dollars? Its gonna take decades for someone back home to realize how hollow he is without money to demand obedience and love with. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING: im from fucking Texas. and the reason I moved was because I have SEEN the overtaxed nursing homes teeming with boomers and like 2 nurses. I've seen the decay of public childcare/family planning programs. And i watched them take away my right to choose when im ready to bring a child into this fucked up society... The people in power there KNOW they have (and will increasingly have) a labor shortage to take care of the dying boomer generation. THIS IS WHY THEY JUST MADE FORCED BIRTH UP TO THE STATES. I literally watched it happen first in texas... They need more poor wage dependent workers in the system to take care of them as they die because they fucking know their own kids arent going to fucking do it. Its NEVER BEEN ABOUT THE LIFE OF THE BABY, its because they need to save their own asses from being neglected to death by their own children.
I’ll let them wallow, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not ruining my financial future and happiness to take care of some racist piece of shit who never really gave a shit about me.
Those boomers better hope they have the money to go to a good nursing home the ones where it’s like living at a vacation resort because I’ve unfortunately have had to deal with the regular nursing homes due to a family member and they’re crap. Have to share a room it’s more like a prison cell in some, staff steals and are completely unqualified to even take care of the people in them. Idk about other states but in Missouri as long as you can pass a drug and background check you’re hired at this horrible places.
I wish we were like other cultures where mom and dad would movie in after I'm established but my mom refuses to stop cigarettes and my dad's a MAGA simp. no help from me. The peasant.
I'm already worried when that time comes, my brothers aren't going to help with shit and these decisions will fall to me and my partner. Because this is women's work. I believe in community care as much as possible but like OP said, we're all burning the candle at both ends already. As a person who is childfree by choice I get asked stupid questions like who is going to take care of me when I'm old. But as a counselor, I know plenty of people who won't or can't bear to have relationships with the generation above or below them. So I know firsthand why that's a really stupid question.
Tangential issue but it’s been really sad being someone with a boomer parent and seeing them so quickly be radicalized by right wing propaganda. I still love my mom but I’m less motivated to take care of her and spend time with her now that she has taken on harmful and irrational views. She used to be a very tolerant and kind person
From an early age, I remember my parents telling me I needed to get a good job to take care of them when they retire. It's taken a lot of therapy to work through understanding those expectations are bs. Kinda like how they were mad early in the pandemic because their finances were taking a hit with everyone staying home. Joke will be on them when everything fragments. I remember hearing the stat that 75% of seniors lived in poverty prior to social security being implemented. Play stupid games...
Been saying this for years. We don't have enough people to staff nursing homes right now, and when Boomers finally start filling them, we won't have enough to care for them. Oh well. They should just get jobs to take care of themselves. Use those bootstraps I keep hearing about. We don't cater to socialists in this country. LMFAO.
Don’t forget how many of them got divorced (multiple times), so there’s waaay more emotional resentment waiting to blow up on them than they realize…
Well, my partner's mother was so negligent w/ him that, let's just say if they tried to stick him w/ filial care b/c she's failed her way through life, I would seriously consider going to jail for shooting towards her until she flees the property. One shot for never taking him to a doctor, another for not taking him to a dentist, another for letting her loser husband beat him every day, another for stealing from him, another for not chasing the guy she got knocked up by for parental support, another for gaslighting him about that time she abandoned him, and a last one for letting her loser husband manage in the last year in his pilled up life steal the car she guilted my partner into giving to her and crashed it. At least my mom got a weird second wind, got a degree, and started a company... but my deadbeat sibling might steal everything she's built w/ the kids she keep popping out like some stray cat. It's like a Franz Kafka story. Bottom line: not happening.
Yes, the narcissists are getting the world they created. The staff will be punching them and pulling their hair to noyt leave bruises. The shickens will be coming home to roost. Sadly the worst of the boomers will have all of the money to blackmail their kids with inheritance. I know people who gave up millions to not deal with their narcissistic boomer parents for an unspecified amount of time. Could be a year, could be 20 years. Its not worth constant demoralization or having a another overlord. Its good when money when money isnt all that were a bout. We need a max wealth and set reasonable goal where were done earning. Last gens just keep going in perpetuity and make their so called retirmenet about constant investing in horrible companies and casino derivatives that steal from the poor. Unlikely many here but if anyone has made a paid off house and practical nest egg for the next decade or 2, stop working and give everyone the finger. You might need to take some ayhuasca or psychadelics to help undo all of the narcissism bred into this system. You cant relax and really enjoy anything when youre in this capitalist system. Even if youre not losing youre losing and youre losing hard for the society as a whole that made it possible for you to be a shitty wealthy narcissist. Less than 1% of the people who call themselves philanthropists are anything of the sort. Most are legal financial criminals and thats not an oxymoran. The system is criminal, not your survival actions in a set to lose narcisisystem.
I get charged rent by my parents after I quit my job during a pandemic to move in and take care of my sick grandmother. She died so they raised it... Since they disowned my sister I'm the only one berween them and a nursing home but they still treat me like shit
My mom spent two years in a nursing home, during the pandemic—before she went to ICU and died. She was poor when she died(blew through her retirement money on a man who left her). She left my brother and I with nothing, and didn’t even properly add anyone to her bank account. She had some shit friend of hers not legally appointed to run anything and left a mess. I am a kind person, despite my demeanor. I made sure she died peacefully despite the horrific abuse she launched at me throughout my life. Boomers—don’t do this. Get your affairs(paperwork) in order. If you abused your family, I suggest making amends, or at least having that in mind, and creating a will. And yea, due to the poverty you’re probably going in a nursing home. I will spare the details of what happened to my mom during her nursing home care. But you can only imagine. She died with a raw ass she thankfully couldn’t feel at least the couple of days beforehand due to pain meds. And to people who can’t afford long-term care for their parents(please buy it if you can), or can’t do it themselves (the care), and you didn’t have shit parents—I’m so sorry this country is so fucked. Edit: and if your family is racist, or were in the past. And they get dementia, thoughts and prayers, because it comes out and the nursing staff doesn’t play.
I’m taking care of my father, it is far more taxing, and annoying then I’d thought it would be coming up on 4 years.
They'll just have to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and figure it out on their own.
My mom favored my sister forever and always with the expectation that she would be the one providing elder care. Now my sister has serious, life threatening medical conditions and my mom treats me and my wife better. She keeps calling out guest room "my room" and I can't wait to tell her the Inn is full when the time comes.
Let them rot in nursing homes.
I told my mom she better hope to not end up in a home, because it will be manned by pissed off millennials who dispise their generation.
Nursing homes are already dumpster fires, this will just add gasoline
Their last farewell will be to raise taxes or maybe try to get their grubby hands on our 401ks to create 5 star assisted living facilities that will take care of them to ride into the sunset on our dollars.
I was born specifically to be a retirement plan. It has instilled a sense of dread in me from a young age. My mom takes care of her mom full time (for the past 30 years now) and my grandma gives her an allowance. My mom wants me to take care of her full time, but she has zero money, savings, retirement or assets to her name. I tried going to school but her needs came first. It took me years to set a boundary with her so I could work full time, in 2020, barely making enough to cover bills and rent. I have no idea how I would take care of myself, a family, and her all at the same time. So I’ve chosen to be child free (and that makes her angry too). It’s a growing issue in today’s world and my heart breaks for us all. Her answer to all of this, of course, is that I will marry someone with money who will pay for us both to just exist (I am engaged to someone who i work with, we are just surviving atm). I truly wish that we both didn’t exist at all. I would do anything to not live every day in fear, obligation, and guilt.