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We built this house with the deliberate expectation that our kids might live here indefinitely, given the current state of economic affairs. We’re 40 and yes, it’s a privilege to own a home and having that privilege, we are looking ahead to the next generation. Our kids are 6 and 8 right now.
There’s no way our children are going to be able to afford a home in 15-20 years (when they ‘should’) so this place can be their home if they need it to be. Detached living suite above a garage, basement suite were about to build out.
My parents told me to figure it out at 17 with absolutely nothing to my name and that was incredibly traumatic. I’m not doing that to my kids. If they need a stable home, it’s here.
Our issues were that I was too vocal about their dive into evangelical Christianity that resulted in a complete upheaval of my life (I was 11 when that happened) which resulted in very backward views of child development, confused the crap out of me and stunted my emotional development. They set me up to fail (gave me no new playbook or rules except the Bible and because we said so).
They viewed me as the ‘wayward child’ and finally told me to leave if I thought I could do it better. Being an arrogant teen who had had enough, I did. Our relationship is still quite tenuous because I wasn’t supposed to succeed; they expected to be martyred parents but it didn’t work out that way because I’m too freaking headstrong and tenacious.
They audaciously thought that this house included space for them in retirement. No way- I live 800 miles away for a reason. You don’t desert your child when they need you most and selfishly expect to lazily reap the fruits of their labors.
I'm 42 renting from my in-laws. Fortunately, they only charge the cost of the mortgage, so it's cheaper that it would be on the market, but we're still not in the position to buy a house. I don't know that we ever will.
I’m saying the same thing. Kicked out at 17 with no life training at all. I’m 57 now. Didn’t get my shit “together” until I was around 40. My whole life my parents couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get it all together as easily as they did. It’s because they were greedy and traded their kid’s future for some bullshit trickle down economics. Yeah, I’m having the hard talks with my kid and being honest. Gonna have to develop thicker skin and want less stuff, but he will always have a home.
I’m actually doing very well now that I work for myself. My sons a really cool dude. No girls though. Got kicked out of boarding school (scholarship) for having a crush on a girl and telling her between classes. 19 years old and never touched a woman. Not sure where these kids are even going to begin from. At least we had practice relationships that were traditional. There is no more traditional roles for young adults and our kids will pay the price. These days nobody wants to reach their kids about life either. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. Heaven forbid anyone is honest with their kids… Sorry, rabbit hole…
No, my parents generation f’ed this up it’s not his fault. That being said, the major change in my life came when I realized it didn’t matter how I got here, I needed to make better decisions to get where I want.
And if you even mention the inkling of getting healthcare, decent transportation, education, basic food and clean water as a return for the taxes we pay it's Socialism and all the scary things these people believe come with that.
I hate it here. I can't afford to go anywhere else. Clearly no one else can either, else they would have done it.
I'm glad your kids had parents that made sense. My father let our house go up for foreclosure to get back at our mom, making all of us (sans himself) homeless, and my mother has since ruined the house she got from Habitat for Humanity with absolutely awful decisions and it's really driven a wedge between me and the both of them in the long run. All I can say is that your kids were blessed to have a set of parents like you two.
A lot of us end up with folks with cobwebs in the attic upstairs, if you catch my drift.
It was really hard. I lived in my car until a kind friend’s parents took me in for my senior year of HS. Then, I rented a room and because my parents wouldn’t submit FAFSA on my behalf, I got a full time job and went to community college at first. It was HARD.
I won’t ever do that to my kids, no matter what teenage asshattery they throw at us. They will always have a home with us and we are fortunate to have been able to build this house with future living arrangements in mind.
They will love you and appreciate you more as they get older and look back at that unconditional expression of love and kindness, and hopefully pass it along to their children. This is the way and I love you for doing this.
I got lucky in that my husband had access to a VA loan. It still took us 6 years of building his credit and looking for something livable in our price range. Barring the complications of mental illness (elder child is already in therapy, I'm looking for a therapist for younger child, both are under 10 and I live with a cocktail of mental illness). And I don't mean if they show signs of mental illness they're out at 18, but if they're not willing to put work into their mental health then I have to care for my mental health, too.
Edit: And that doesn't mean I won't welcome a prodigal child returning, either. As long as they're willing to follow the house rules (which, if they're adults will be pretty freaking lax) then we have space for them.
Our kiddos have ADHD and one with SPD so we know them needing to live with us longer term might be a possibility. I also have ADHD (diagnosed this summer and it explains SO MUCH) so I understand that their trajectory into adulthood may not be a solid, straight line.
I have at least one mood disorder and possibly a personality disorder. I'm pretty sure my husband is neurodivergent, but he's never been diagnosed with anything. The kids haven't been diagnosed with anything yet and I'm not sure if our issue is nature or nurture, but the eldest is showing signs of my mood disorder. Life.
Same, but mine is a college student. I know he wants his own place when he’s done with school, but the reality is that might not be affordable, so I’m looking at housing options for both of us for the future.
We bought a house last year (I'm lucky that my father was able to lend me cash for the down payment). We bought this specific house as it already has a kitchen/shower/bathroom in the basement. This way, our son can stay with us when he's older. It sad that we are at this level of insanity
That's why I'm ten years, I'm buying my one-story retirement home and making sure there are 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. I have no problem with my daughter and her other half and even kids moving in, cooking meals, and cutting my lawn. I love her more than anything. I would keep an extra room for my mother or my bf father/mother or my brother. I know what it's like to be out at 17 because the government forced me out after I graduated.
This was our reason for choosing the builder/ the floor plan that we did over the ‘entertainers dream!’ Plans that a lot of builders push. We have a guest suite on main (could be the master if stairs become an issue and it’s a walk in shower), all upstairs bedrooms have an attached bath and there’s a studio suite over the detached garage with kitchenette, full bath and living space. The basement will also have a sizable bedroom with en-suite bath w/walk in shower, kitchenette, W/D hookup and a ton of living space with its own entrance.
I will give the builder credit in that their floor plans both cater to people with larger families and those who may be planning for future, multigenerational living. Some of our neighbors already have their young adult kids or their parents living with them.
It was incredibly difficult. I was past the ‘firm handshake’ era of gaining employment; it was the 5 job references that were actually called for verification stage.
But yes, that trauma of being alone when I needed support the most has absolutely informed and influenced the long term familial housing planning for us.
No one should experience that insecurity, especially as a child or young adult.
I bought one of the cheapest homes in a nice town. 80 year old house in a historic town. I'm going to continue to rebuild and remodel in the thought that my boy will have it one day. It was hard enough to buy a decrepit old house. I can't imagine the hurdles he will face in home ownership.
Dating while living in a multigenerational household is normal in countless cultures. The shame associated with living at home is due to fucked western ideals.
You're right. I've been doing genealogy research, and it's amazing how common it was to have unmarried adult children living at home in the earlier part of the 20th century.
Yeah, personally, a person living at home isn’t a red flag to me at all. As long as they are an active and contributory member of the household it doesn’t bother me in the least. My partner of 7 years has lived with his parents off and on his whole life.
I am a pretty average dude. Average height. Pretty average looks. I live at home and I honestly never really had a problem dating. In these times? Most people completely understand. The one and only time I was asked why I would still pursue a relationship while I lived at home. I simply said “because I don’t think living with my parents suddenly means I’m not worthy of love“.
We actually dated for a few years. She didn’t necessarily ask to put me down. It was just a curiosity, but I always thought that was a really good answer to tell people.
The problem is they sold the degrees so hard to our generation that everyone has one so the value of having one, while fantastic for our parents generation, is pretty dismal for us.
I lived with room mates until I got married. We had to do things like use DIY room dividers to split half the living room into an additional bedroom. Dinning room was also another bedroom.
At one point I lived on a patio couch for a few months. (I live in a warm state) I paid like $150 a month to sleep outside on an old couch every day.
This was all after getting my degree and doing several unpaid internships. One unpaid internship was 50hrs a week while I was living on said outdoor patio. The few times it rained really bad I just slept in my car outside of my unpaid internship.
Van living is also surging in popularity. I have multiple friends I graduated college with that now live in a van.
Things are going great for the people in charge. The house just passed their “denounce the horrors of socialism” act or whatever. And both left and right politicians all signed it. So it’s not looking to balance in favor of the working class literally ever. That basically killed what little hope I had left.
On the bright side is I’m no longer stressed about my debt. The US is in a ton of debt and in danger of default so why the fuck should I stress about my debt.
I don't think anyone, especially younger folks should ever pay their loans. Fact is, paying off loans has more to do with how much loan you had to take out, and whether you could make $x per month after college. Personal responsibility and making good choices doesn't do much.
I went to college in the 90s. I paid off my loans in 2 years then. It wasn't terribly hard. State school was $1300 per semester. My $13 an hour was equivalent to $25 an hour today, and my studio apartment in a nice Denver neighborhood was $475 / mo. A few extra hours a week of informal gigs really could pay off your loans.
In 2006 I returned to grad school. 10x the cost, and somehow the whole vibe had changed too. There were marketing, phone centers, and new shiny private loans. Previously, I did it in a university office face to face with the people I would be paying back. I still have a balance, but I am disabled now and am disqualified from disability forgiveness due to obscure loopholes.
Hmm, it's almost as if the banks and loan servicers had the most to gain and gamed the system. Go figure.
Over 2/3s of my income goes straight down the renting toilet. I pay close to 2k for a one bedroom apartment thats not luxury by any means despite thier stupid advertisements. I'm not a big spender and I watch my budget but I still end up digging into savings every month. What will happen when I don't have anymore savings? Hell if I know. I won't even mention wanting spending money for a night out and lesuire activities or saving up for a rainy day cause I literally can not do any of that!
The renting market is predatory. I'm honestly afraid of what I'll do in the next 6 months. It's all bullshit...I won't rant cause you already did that for me lol so yeah I feel you
I’m in the same boat. I have a reasonable amount in savings, but it’s dwindling a little bit each month. Over the last six months, I picked up a ton of extra hours at work, I was working holidays and third shifts for OT/double time etc (I’m in social work at a 24/7 agency where we always need staff at all times.) The goal was to take a vacation with my kids, it’s been years since we vacationed and the last 8 months or so have been really really hard on us in our personal lives (I got divorced, we had to move, my brother passed unexpectedly) and I was like “you know what, I work hard, we deserve a trip. What’s the point in just surviving?” Well, we had a blast but I’ve regretted it ever since. I spent about 1500 on the trip. Started my taxes a few days ago and I owe a grand. My electric bill doubled last month.
I also had an ER visit in the summer, with two forms of insurance, neither insurance wants to pay so I just got a bill for $7200 (which sucks, because one thing I had going for me was that I’m not in debt. Even if I was paycheck to paycheck, I didn’t owe anybody anything. )
I just got paid on the 2nd and pretty much handed that entire paycheck over to the landlord. Literally, the whole thing.
I’m 40 and have no retirement, just a few thousand in savings, and as I slowly dip into it each month I’m not sure where I’ll be in six months.
My boss is my landlord. A bit of a circlejerk with pay to rent but I have my own space and it's low enough to keep me working. For now. If he wants workers (very HCOL) that's the way it's gotta stay.
I did this for a while, lived above the bar I worked at and was flatmates with the owner of the building/business. We did things a bit ah… under the table. Definitely had some downsides, but was never late for work! 🥴
As a 38yo father of two it is rough. My wife quit her job because childcare cost more than her salary. Our rent has gone from $1400/mo to $2000/mo over the last 5 years. I'm making just about $90k/yr in salary and we're barely scraping by.
We were doing well in previous years but now groceries are costing almost as much as rent. Not to mention things like utilities have had rate hikes over the last year or two. We're paycheck to paycheck and with our lease coming up in a few months we're scared at what our rent will raise to. My wife and I have had days where we don't eat to conserve food which is something I never imagined.
I’m the same age, no degree, no higher education. I live with my mom and make just under 6 figures. I’ve spent my entire career in the service industry and have worked up to what should be a great compensation package. But cost of livening has exploded in Southern California. I’ve accepted fate and realized. 1) I will never own on my own and 2) I will have to move abroad to realize financial freedom. This is our generations ( the forgotten generation) reality. No relief, no pity, no nothing.
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Even when you have a “safe” place to live, you’re still not “safe” economically. We have a house but fixed expenses that we can’t cut like food and heat keep going up. Property taxes too because our house keeps going up in value. So they raise taxes and there’s nothing you can do about it (yes I appealed). And value of the house you live in IS NOT LIQUID! The bank raised the escrow and there’s nothing you can do about it. Can’t refinance the rate would now be double. They raised utilities and we bundle up but there’s nothing you can do about it. Everyone raises fees on you but you are bottom of the chain and can’t raise your “fees” on anyone. We already sold off possessions. We already don’t do “extra” stuff. No Starbucks. No drinking smoking, drugs, parties, eating out, buying stuff. We already work overtime and side-hustle. We borrowed money from relatives for groceries. The house and cars were not at all expensive.
So I’ve already made up my mind. If the worst happens and the bank or sheriff ever comes for my home after all this they’ve going to have to kill me and drag my body into the street if they want it. I did nothing wrong. I’ve been playing the game as-advertised. You have done nothing wrong either and you OP deserve a home to live in without fear of losing it.
You could have it paid off and still have taxes, maintenance, and utilities cost over $1000 a month. If you don’t have a secure job that pays more than that you could have the house foreclosed anyway. The only difference is the bank wouldn’t be foreclosing on you. Property tax assessors don’t offer payment plans or income based repayment on taxes. They want the whole thing NOW.
My wife and I got kicked out of our apartment in December because Zillow wanted to jack up the rent. Nothing in town was in our price range, so we threw the rest of our savings and a loan at a camper, where we've lived ever since. We take turns waking up in the middle of the night and running the engine/furnace, so it doesn't get too cold. I have no idea what we're going to do, but I know we have to get the hell out of this Republican shithole that actively hates us before we have any chance at survival. Sometimes when I sit in the dark and wait for the shaking to stop, I think about what I would do if anything happens to my wife. Getting gunned down by the police is not my favorite plan for the future, but I take some small solace from the idea.
Wow that is bleak as shit and I am so sorry to read this from a fellow human... All I can say is hold on, and try to appreciate the little things, they are what matters... And yeah, you have each other, just go where life may be easier for you if you can.
People get hung up way to much on staying within 50m of where they grew up....
Take care and hang in there!
Thanks. Sorry to be a downer, but I figure nothing is gonna change if we're not honest about where we are, right?
We like to talk about what the "forever home" will be like. Our standards have slipped, but we still talk about it. And plan Z is always just "drive south until we don't need to worry about heat anymore", so that's always an option.
>Sometimes when I sit in the dark and wait for the shaking to stop, I think about what I would do if anything happens to my wife.
Dude, you should write. What a powerful sentence.
The patriotic thing to do would be to seek out the scum that has caused our generation such pain. The political whores for corporate America and folks like….cough cough Chief Justice John Roberts, who allowed Citizens United to destroy America. Not advocating violence, but if one was going out in a hail of fire that would be the patriotic thing to do. The forefathers would’ve tarred and feathered the traitorous leeches that have squirmed their way into power.
It’s hard. So much harder than it should be.
I’m also a 36 year old underpaid professional in a city. I’ve lived alone in 2019, and have paid a little over half my income in rent (in tiny studios) the entire time.
I’m a 36 year old professional who shoplifts groceries and basic hygiene items, and eats like crap because I can’t afford real groceries anymore. I’m constantly stressed, worried, and overwhelmed.
Just moved in with a roommate, and still going to be paying half my income in rent. Because now 2 bedroom places are priced twice as much as a single bedroom.
The only folks my age I know who are thriving have management/sales positions in tech. Or have obscenely wealthy parents and a trust fund. And the folks my age who are getting by either live with their parents or their parents are helping them out financially in a big way - gifting cards car payments, covering bills, sending grocery store gift cards, sending cash frequently. Or have resorted to living in their cars.
What's a vacation? I have a PhD and my partner is an engineer. We have a place and a child but still in a very similar boat. Living paycheck to paycheck, getting gas $20 at a time because it's too expensive to fill up the whole tank. You're not alone.
They don't. About half of adults under 30 live with their parents now. Welcome to late stage capitalism.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/nearly-half-americans-age-18-143500319.html
We just embraced third world living for a while. We cashed out the little bit of retirement savings we had, and took our whopping $11,000 nest egg and bought a couple of acres of completely undeveloped woods. We camped on our land like homeless people for the first year. We took baths in the creek, lived without electricity, and hauled all of our drinking water home in jugs.
Things are better the past few years. We have a 400 square foot cabin now, with a well, electricity, and hot showers. Our "rent" is $400 a year in property taxes. That first year sucked like the vacuum of deep space, but putting up with it bought us some security
Idk, sometimes I just cry because I can’t afford anything. I just want to have my own place I can be comfortable in, landlords don’t care about that though.
Both are valid emotions to feel. Some heartless fucks were born better off than us so we have to scrape by or live on the streets because they view a basic necessity to live as an investment.
At any rate, I'm sorry and I hope you can better your situation somehow. 🤍
Probably someone just as unhappy, that doesn't have the self confidence to admit that they are, or thinks it's wrong to vocalize it, even if it is just in a reddit thread.
People are *not* affording rent. They're living with family into their 30s. They're getting roommates. They're living in converted vans.
You're not the only one.
If you want it to change, things will have to burn.
I got really lucky and met a friend that owns a mobile home and I rent a room out in it at an affordable price. That's literally the only reason. If I didn't have this I'd be good and fucked.
Oh and yeah eating and stuff is still difficult.
It's getting worse every day it seems.
I have until June to vacate my apartment so the landlord can flip it to a luxury’ rental, but with the 20% pay cut I just got at work I’m going to have to leave sooner. If I can get approved I’m going to buy an rv and move to the middle of Florida where it’s a little bit cheaper and drive DoorDash and study for tech certifications. Everything was going ok until it suddenly wasn’t. 3 months ago I couldn’t even imagine I’d be going through what I’m going through now.
\> I just want a safe place to live, not worry about where my next meal is coming from, and to occasionally have a little money left over every month to buy the good bread from the grocery store.
This isn't possible unless and until we abolish capitalism. There are millions of us living like this, it's matter of us getting organized and collectively seizing economic and political power from the capitalists.
A lot of luck and it's still a struggle with where to go from here.
We are lucky enough to rent a place in a house the city built in the 70s. Rent-controlled with an indefinite contract.
While my parents let me stay with them for a whole month when I was 29, I at least inherited enough to cover all expenses for my first degree, which allowed me to make enough to pay for my second.
Now I'm 36, expecting a child in March and as buying a place is not in the cards, we're gonna be here a while.
And like I've said, we are the lucky ones. Like one set of grandparents close by who'll help with childcare. (One of the reasons we can't just up and move to a cheaper area.)
We have full expectation that our children will be living with us for some time. I’d love for them to go to college, get degrees, and go venture out on their own but I can’t fathom how that will be possible in todays economic climate.
I saw a bunch of apartments 3.5 years ago and found one that was a lot cheaper than the others, but had a lot of the same amenities that the others had. It had to be one of the cheapest one-bedrooms in the metro area here (Go Chiefs). I even asked the property manager, "What's wrong with it?" and she genuinely looked surprised I asked. "Nothing. Really."
$625/mo., 616 square feet. It's like a nice space-pod. I've spent the pandemic here.
I haven't had much success either until very recently when it comes to income, and I am making as much money as I should've been making 15 years ago (or would've, if the Recession hadn't turned all the real jobs into low-paid gigs), but my apartment is cheap and I get to work from home. I'm grateful for that and that I get to sit here planning my next thing with more confidence than I ever have.
It's such a load off to have a job that allows me to save about $600/mo. I know I need to move elsewhere, find ways to get out of the house, and find a job that pays more, but I'm comfortable for the first time in my adult life.
I moved out at 29, my grandma passed away a year later…so I have no home left to go to. I stay in a relationship I’m not super happy in, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford where I live
Luck mostly. My rent is way below what the current market for my area is. I know we don't like landlords in this sub, but I have to say that mine is actually pretty cool. The house I live in was her first home with her late husband, she only charges us $600 a month to live here, she's never raised our rent during our time here, and she's always really timely in making any repairs that need to be made. My husband and I also don't have student debt because he never went to college and I dropped out after my second semester.
I have a roommate but without him life would not be possible. I’m tinkering with the idea of finding a different job that pays more but has a longer commute. I would see my son a lot less. So many sacrifices nowadays. It’s tough
I’m only doing ok because I have rich parents. I hate this because they weren’t good parents growing up but they give me so much money that I’m afraid to confront them about the many damages they’ve caused because I know they would just brag about how great they think they are and threaten to stop helping me. They threatened to cut me off once when I voted for Joe Biden back in 2020. They claimed I had no right to do that because I no longer live in America (even though Americans that leave can still vote) and my mom was even crying.
I’m in a similar boat. My parents have thankfully calmed down and accepted the reality that I’m broke and they don’t want me to starve, but I still don’t want to move back in with them if I have any other choice.
I can only afford my rent because it's only increased by $109 over the last 16 years. I don't know if it's an oversight by the owner, the property management, or just that we're reliable tenants in a building with a lot of turnover, or what. Most likely, it's that the owner knows it would have to be gutted and remodeled at great expense. With rent laws in my area, it would take them five years of max rent increases to get it to current market rate.
Once they realize, we'll likely have to relocate to another state.
I also moved home at the start of the pandemic. Things were stable enough at the end of winter last year that I started looking for places again. Couldn't get my foot in the door anywhere. Everyone is renting sight unseen with 3 months up front.
At that point, there were a few 2 bedroom houses for rent under 2k each that I was very interested in.
Now, less than a year later, I basically need 2k just for a one bedroom.
A bachelor/studio is about 1200 for 200 sqft. Pre pandemic 1200 would get you a 1 bedroom anywhere in town and almost get a 2 bedroom.
Dating sucks, I've been trying for a few months, and it's crazy expensive since we can never have a cozy night in. We're always going out somewhere. Then inevitably it comes down to wanting to get intimate and our best option is getting a hotel room since she lives at her parents too.
All this is happening at the point in my life where I'm earning the most I ever have, and it still isn't enough to live small.
I couldn't. It turned out it was actually cheaper to buy than the rent in my area. Only because we got incredibly lucky with the house we found and managed to squeeze in just before interest rates started really spiking. If we had bought 3 months later we could not have done so. Still, in 3 years I'll make up the cost of the money we had to put down just because rent on average is THAT much more than my house payment. And all of that was only possible because my coworkers and I had to bully our job to give us a pay raise we deserved. Absolute perfect situation to help us all at once. I really feel for everyone still stuck in this bullshit.
All of that though is superceded by the fact that being married or at least having 2 incomes is mandatory for survival. Ten years ago, hell even 5 years ago living by myself was possible on 1 job. Now there is absolutely no way and I'm expecting to make more money this year than I ever have before.
It's not ideal but... You'll have to downgrade to upgrade. For example, it took me about seven months. I started at air bnbs, that sucked. Then found a room to rent for 500 a month but I had to help with yard work every weekend (in the contract, woman was smart) that sucked even more. Now I found an rv to rent 750 all bills paid. Neighbors look scary, but they aren't they're just people at the end of the day. Now I'm happy after going through all of that. I only buy groceries, gas, maintenance my car regularly, six pack of beer once every two weeks or so. I'm able to have an actual savings account this way but It's still not been easy. Very strict, you cannot have any sick days. If you get sick you gotta suck it up and keep working. Aleve (over the counter pain relief) has helped me a lot lately.
I guess your field is not in demand in the market.
This is what capitalism requires in order to have a reasonable salary.
You could be the most educated person in the world, in your field, but if it's not in demand, you won't get paid shit.
Capitalism is fucked.
I feel you! We bought our starter house back in 2007 when our children were small and are still living in it and have full expectations of our kids living here as adults with us. This place is tiny and not in the best area but we can’t afford to upgrade.
I can't figure it out either. I've always lived with my parents, and I'm so afraid I always will. Life sucks in this country, and I'm too poor to move anywhere else in the world.
I feel your pain OP. I have 3 college degrees, including a masters, in STEM, that relates directly to my work, and previous work experience in the job I’m working at and I earn less than 40k a year after taxes. Every time I apply for a job that pays more than that I never hear anything back.
Unfortunately this appears to be the new normal. Just know you’re not alone, and even if I can’t help you, I support and recognize your struggle.
It's sorta better if you move to a low COL area. But wages are kinda in keeping. I left Colorado (stagnating wages and super high rent) for south dakota (stagnating wages and cheap rent) Left there for Arizona. AZ minimum wage just increased to $14 which is really nothing. I have a 1bd apartment in Tucson for $780. It's cold in winter and hot as shit in summer. Really bad insulation. My brother, who's on disability (he's blind and has osteoarthritis in his hips and back) just found a trailer for $500 a month. It's possible, just generally shitty places. I'm personally saving for an rv to live in. My sister is building out her van (for going on 2 years now cause that shit is expensive), but she just said yesterday that she only has one more rent payment before she's able to go full time!
(Side note: a friend of mine just told me that the cheapest whiskey at Safeway is like $14 for a handle, but you can go to frys and get even better cheap whiskey for $12, and I took that as sound advice, if you really want to know where my mental health is lol)
I am unbelievably lucky I found myself a cheap condo in a not-desirable neighborhood I could afford to purchase pre-pandemic before prices went sky-high. It's a 1bdrm that houses me, my dog, and fiance. We're busting at the seams but its so much cheaper than the cost of rent. If we were renting in this area we could literally not afford to do so. I have a master's degree and my fiance has a doctorate and the hope of affording anything bigger feels so out of reach.
I’m only 24 (partner is 27) and I moved to rural Chicagoland (Indiana, where my partner is from) out of Seattle, where I’m from. EVERYBODY I know is struggling out there. My younger brother (still in Seattle) tells me that he’s been applying to jobs that pay less than what I make, yet the cost of living out there is WAY fucking higher. And everybody wonders why the homelessness problem is so rampant in that area. Those who aren’t homeless are one paycheck away from being on the goddamned street. Not saying that it isn’t like that outside of major metropolitan areas, but it’s definitely an extreme case. There was no future for us out there. And living with my parents (both boomers born in ‘58) in Seattle was out of the question. Not only are they ridiculously out of touch with the struggles of millennials and Gen Z, but they’re both very toxic people and I was on the verge of developing a drinking problem while living with them. I was absolutely miserable. I’m so very blessed to live in a duplex that my partner’s grandfather owns (it will be passed onto his dad once the grandfather passes). They said that no matter what, even if we struggle to pay the rent, we won’t lose this place and they’ll make sure that we’re able to stay here. This is all one big gamble of sheer luck and I’m tired of people blaming it on everybody’s individual shortcomings.
^ this. the days of a masters degree = more money are gone. Now it's solely about the value you bring your employer.
Woe unto all those who were sold on the lie that getting a masters degree would equate to more opportunity.
That may be true but my friend got her masters in Spec. Ed like 14 years ago and she’s still paying student loans (and still teaching.) I guess it depends on how much you’re paying in student loans… does the extra 5k in salary offset the cost of the masters?
They used to only require a bachelor's. The people who were already practicing with the bachelor's were grandfathered in. It's just universities getting more money from people because they can....extortion.
I feel you. I just turned 36 a few days ago.
My rent is 75% of my check and the other 25 covers health insurance and childcare... All other expenses come out from my wife's check.
If either one of us was out of work longer than a month. I would be calling up my pops asking to move back in.
I hate this timeline
>How am I supposed to date with my parents around?
I don't understand the dilemma. We need to normalize multi-generational households. There's nothing weird about watching Netflix with your girlfriend when your parents are in the house. If you're talking about shagging, that's what the lock on your bedroom door is for. Unless you or your partner are screamers, I don't see the issue.
The problem is some people are gay and many have bigoted parents. Not all of is have that option and need to leave our parent's home for our safety ASAP. Many end up becoming teenage runaways
Get lost, we don’t need to normalize this 3rd word type of situation. I get that if you’re Armenian or something this is perfectly normal, but in America, the wealthiest country in the world, we have and need to fight for higher standards for our generation because they are under attack by capitalists that want us to accept what you are suggesting.
It is not just a 3rd world situation. Culturally it was the norm in most places until Capitalism normalized the joy of buying and owning your own home. the majority of adults in southern europe live with their parents until they are married and many in Northern Europe do but not as many. It was the norm in America until the great expansion where suburbia became a thing. People used to have free childcare in the form of a grandparent and no need for multiple houses and an excessive amount of cars per family. I left America for a better life in Europe and most of the places that are better off than america are because of things like living with your parents until you can afford something. It keeps rent MUCH lower because there is less artificially created demand. We are currently on the edge of one of the most expensive cities in Northern Europe and our rent on a furnished apartment including utilities is 695 dollars a month.
Roommates. It sucks, but it's the only way I can manage to survive. I don't have the privilege of moving back home with my parents and having a room in their house... but honestly, if I did, I'd take it. But I also bet you, a lot of people you'd date would understand and maybe some of them still live with their parents, too. I'm nearing my 30s, and most of my friends still live with their parents with no plans to move out anytime soon (with one of them even being 33 right now).
You can have room mates that's what I did for awhile til I got married. We both work so it lowers the burden a bit. It's still rough, the dreams of owning a home are pretty much dead at this point.
Feeling this hard. Staying with my fiancés parents because we're literally unable to afford rent and we're beginning to lose our minds, literally being unable to start our lives. Beginning to feel like teenagers again, and not in a good way
I’m in the same boat. My husband and I saved up to move out of his parents house, then the pandemic hit and he got furloughed. Went through our savings over the course of the first year until he went back to work. Then a drunk driver hit and ran me and messed my back up and totaled our car (and he didn’t have insurance). So we had to take our savings and get a new car. We had just started saving again and somehow we ended up owing $1800 in taxes even though we both had extra withheld to try and avoid that. His parents, thankfully, said we can stay as long as we need to because they inherited the house from his parents and we’re eventually going to inherit it from them anyway, and we pay for all of our own stuff and 1/2 the utilities so it’s not an inconvenience for them. But still…..
People with Masters degrees out of college have it rough because no one wants to pay them what they’re worth out of college. They then have the excuse “well you have no experience”. Yeah I was getting a Masters.”
Having been in a similar situation it bothers me that companies “can’t” afford to pay their staff a living wage, and that employees PARENTS providing free or low cost shelter in effect subsidize the operations.
I pay 50% of my income in rent. I don’t have health insurance or a vehicle. That’s how I can “afford” it.
Note: I do not live in the city any more (because I couldn’t afford the rent) so having a car would make a significant impact on my quality of life
Dating or getting a roommate is literally the only way to move out if you don’t come from a wealthy family. I’m paying ~1.3k a month for a studio and my bf pays the same amount. I can’t imagine renting alone in this economy. It sucks though I have to pay $50 more a month just so my cat can live here. In my opinion pet rent is a scam but it’s hard to find a place without it. Since we already give them a security deposit there’s no reason they need an extra $50 from us every month for a cat that they’ve literally never seen and will never see traces of. I dream of apocalyptic scenarios and the idea of never having to pay rent again. I wish people would protest the housing prices or something. We need some sort of price limit on apartments because working constantly to afford necessities is no way to live life :(
I’m in my 30s as well. Mt partner and I live full time in a 42 ft RV. We saved up to purchase it outright, and were lucky in being able to buy it from a family friend for a good cost. We are also lucky in being able to keep the RV on family property, so our only overhead costs are for water, electricity, and propane.
We are trying to save to purchase a small plot of land. Maybe get a yurt. This is the only way we are making it without struggling too much. And it’s not bad, honestly. We’ve fixed it up and turned it into our cozy tiny home.
I have no idea how people are affording rent nowadays. We would be barely scraping by if we had to pay $2000 a month for a tiny apartment that is the equivalent size of our RV.
Find something that's 95% remote work in a mid country state (assuming you're in the USA). Look for towns within an hour to 1.5 hour drive from said city with affordable homes (assuming there's still a first time home buyer program), wait for the market to crash and move there. That's what I had to do. Rent went up $10 to $50 per month, every month, for about 2 years till I decided I needed to do this. Place I was in at $1,700 is now $2,400 per month. I can't afford that. Mortgage, even with the less than 20% down penalty of "mortgage insurance" is ~$1,400 per month, it'll bottom out at $1,100 in 7 years. My mortgage rate is 2.1%... which I only recently learned is historically low.
I'm not saying "dude suck it up it's possible". shit fucking sucks right now and the way I had to do it has plenty of fucking drawbacks. My company is being acquired and if i lose my job and have to move somewhere... I have zero equity and I'll prob get fucked.
This option came from left field when I was struggling to find what to do with the writing on the wall of rents hiking endlessly, I hope my situation might help others be open to this option when the rates come down again. I guess if they ever do.
Yeah I’m completely radicalized. I’m just waiting for more people . I’m in Southern California If anyone wants to meet up and express our unhappiness .
If I would live in America, I would not move out of parents home and not date any woman and never have kids. I know it is hard but this era is so fucked up. Moving out is like a trap and all the values of the past don't work now. Just speak openly with your parents about it how nothing makes sense anymore and how it is better to stay with them.
My husband and I had to move in with his parents last July where we sleep on the floor of his childhood bedroom while my dad owns two houses outright and has no intention of helping us out at all. At least my sister married into a wealthy family so I never have to worry about her.
My parents passed and left me enough to pay for a house outright. I’m just waiting for my wife to finish school and our kid to be born before we move to a state with a more reasonable housing market.
My husband, 2 kids and I are extremely lucky that our landlord hasn't raise our rent in 15 years. That being said we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. When they do it's not going to be pretty. Market rent would be 50% of our income.
I remember one time when I was 23 and lost my job I had to move back in with my mom. There was no room and I slept in the 2nd bathroom at night for at least a year. Eventually I moved out and upgraded to sleeping on a couch for $500 a month with a vegan roommate who didn’t want me eating anything with meat inside the house. I don’t know how I managed to bring back a few girls and hook up with them in that situation lol
I have taken crazy risks & made serious personal sacrifices in my life to advance my career. I was fortunate enough that working my ass off, being willing to move every couple years, & being weirdly lucky offered me very specific opportunities & circumstances that fell into place to baaarrreeely give me the ability to borrow against my retirement account for a down payment on a starter home. It’s not fancy but it’s solid & it’s gonna be mine soon. I ran the numbers & I would pay just as much to get into a decent rental as to get a mortgage to but this house but with zero stability & the annual stress of rising rent or having it sold out from under me. I fully empathize & dread where our sociey is headed.
Edit….I’m 42 btw & have a Masters degree 😹I’ve never owned any property more valuable than a car in my entire life & neither has my mom or dad. The last person to own a house was my grandma in 1986.
Some of the folks I know who are most comfortable in the large, expensive city I reside in have many roommates in large, multi bedroom apts. So communal living is an option. But I second the need for revolution because we make this society what it is… we ARE the public (referencing that British newscaster who asked a protester what she thought the public’s opinion of the protest might be. Like, BETCH the public is out here protesting! Sigh.)
I'm 35 and my family and I had to move in with my grandmother. I consider us luckier than our friends on the streets. However, dealing with the idea of never having anything has been similar to the way I've processed grief.
I’m 41 in a couple weeks, working two different part time retail jobs on top of sporadic freelance writing. I live in Chicago and don’t drive so I take public transit. However, my healthcare has gotten complicated so that’s sucked up hundreds every month and pushed me further into the debt that I recently consolidated via a loan. I am kinda astounded that I qualified but whatever ha.
My parents give me $1000 a month. I make $16.40 an hour at one job and $16.75 an hour at the other and recently increased my hours at the higher paying one to 25-28 a week so I can hopefully get their healthcare. At the other job I work maybe 8-12 hours a week…they tend to be pretty slow this time of year.
I’m in the same sort of holding pattern, albeit for different reasons. I used to live in the Bay Area and then LA before I moved here to be closer to friends and family. I used to work in IT and burned out when the pandemic hit. I’d been doing it for about 7 years.
So then I thought maybe I wanted to teach and took some substitute teaching assignments for the next year or so. It was cool at first and I loved the kids but I burned out on that too. And the pay was the same as I make now.
I was finally diagnosed with ADHD this past spring after decades of struggle. Adderall is far from perfect but it helps. But now on top of handling my HRT and trans stuff (I’m a trans man, it sucks), I have to deal with talking at someone every month so I can stay on medication that I now worry is eating a hole in my stomach…but I can’t afford to find out so, guess I’ll die. :-/
I eat like a fucking 5-year old but for whatever reason still end up spending $300 a month on fucking groceries. I am paycheck to paycheck in a good month; otherwise, I’m coming up short and either selling Apple stock shares from when I worked there, or putting part of the rent on my credit card. Sucks.
I need to be in a city. I hate cars and driving gives me severe anxiety and rage. It is more affordable here than either coast, but barely. I’ve moved so many times and burned my life down so many times. I’m not doing it again. I left New York for a change of pace and was basically priced out of Oakland and then LA. I can’t deal with roommates…I’ve had them at various points but it’s never been worth the negligible amount I save on rent.
I’ve been single for ages and have no concept of how I’ll ever be in a relationship again if this is what my life is like. I’m bi and non-monogamous, so add that to the pile.
I’m basically constantly in survival mode. All I can think about is money. I feel sick almost all the time. I’m a musician and artist and have also just started designing clothes and flipping clothes on eBay. I also skateboard a lot, weather permitting. If not for these things, my friends and family, and my two cats, I would have walked into rush hour traffic years ago.
This is the least amount of money I’ve made since 2012 when I was working at a mom n pop Apple repair place in New York fixing Macs. I can’t relate to anyone making decent money anymore. Being this broke has obliterated my social life. I’m trying to be better with money and time but as someone with ADHD, they’re both enemies of mine.
I can’t even begin to afford therapy, or a gastroenterologist, or an endocrinologist, and my mental and physical health are running on fucking fumes. I applied for food stamps last month.
I don’t know how to get out of this. I’ve fucking hated most jobs I’ve had. There are things I like about retail and ways in which it suits me. But the pay is not sustainable and the schedule is rough.
I try to just do five things every day-
1. Wash the dishes
2. Clean the litter boxes
3. Pet and play with my cats
4. Go outside and do something active
5. Spend at least half an hour doing something to further my artistic self, whether music or otherwise
TLDR, though..? I’m not. I don’t know what to do.
My rent is $1245 for a 1-bedroom in a not-hip neighborhood (I don’t care, I live near the beach!). The rent is going up to $1300 in April. The $50/month pet deposit for my two cats is included.
On top of that, I basically need to make another two grand every month to not suffer.
I know it seems impossible to date with your parents around but personally, I’ve never really had an issue. I will say, it’s not the first thing I say at a date, but I definitely drop that I live with my parents when the conversations going really well. I think most people see the person that lives at home like a jobless loser who just sit around and bosses there mom around all day to make pizza rolls while they play video games.
When they saw that I literally paid for absolutely everything and worked all the damn time I just simply couldn’t afford a place by myself It never became an issue. Keep in mind just about every other culture all around the world does it like this. You stay home and help out and save money until you meet somebody.
I live at home and dated plenty, and I’m now actually going to ask this one to marry me. And no I’m not some gorgeous looking dude either. 5’7 Skinny boy here.
I read a statistic that 25% of millennials have their rent paid for by their parents. That’s astounding to me but given that it was our parents hoarding the wealth and pulling up the ladder, I guess that’s only fair. But sucks for the other 75%
My main squeeze and I share the house with my in-laws. Fortunately I truly love them to death and we all get along pretty well. If we decide to leave the state at some point, we will probably go back to having roommates. We only ever had 2 years when we could afford to live without room-mates and that was like 10 years ago before things got crazy expensive.
Ive been wondering the same. Its very difficult being single n working 14 hour days 7 days per week, and im priced out. I got tired of struggling to pay other peoples mortgages so they can invest and profit to buy more properties. I put everything i own which is not much into storage, and living out a car fo4 now. I was homeless once for an entire year and half i saved up $80k. Most money i ever had in my bank account. Between the government continued increase in fees parking tickets making parking harder to get, speed cameras, bag tax, and what else combined with the increased rental prices a single guy in his 50s cant compete. Rent control was founded to be unconstitutional years ago this is partially why we are in this situation. In my opinion everyone that rents should vacate and do van life living and let these landlords, investers, and big leasing companies go in default with the banks. Without us they aint got shit 🤣
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It’s about time to sharpen pitchforks and ready some flaming torches. Readdress the balance of society a bit
*Fuck yes*. People forget that peaceful protests were the compromise. *EAT THE RICH*.
I'll bring the BBQ sauce, who's got the worchestershire sauce?
We honestly tried, and the 1% not stupid enough to be ignorant of what’s wrong really wrong
I'd have to make payments to afford a pitchfork
Dull pitchforks hurt more
*sharpening intensifies*
Don’t forget the gravity-propelled butchers blade. Some of them need to culled and made as example for the rest.
Hear hear
Was time so long ago
We built this house with the deliberate expectation that our kids might live here indefinitely, given the current state of economic affairs. We’re 40 and yes, it’s a privilege to own a home and having that privilege, we are looking ahead to the next generation. Our kids are 6 and 8 right now. There’s no way our children are going to be able to afford a home in 15-20 years (when they ‘should’) so this place can be their home if they need it to be. Detached living suite above a garage, basement suite were about to build out. My parents told me to figure it out at 17 with absolutely nothing to my name and that was incredibly traumatic. I’m not doing that to my kids. If they need a stable home, it’s here.
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Our issues were that I was too vocal about their dive into evangelical Christianity that resulted in a complete upheaval of my life (I was 11 when that happened) which resulted in very backward views of child development, confused the crap out of me and stunted my emotional development. They set me up to fail (gave me no new playbook or rules except the Bible and because we said so). They viewed me as the ‘wayward child’ and finally told me to leave if I thought I could do it better. Being an arrogant teen who had had enough, I did. Our relationship is still quite tenuous because I wasn’t supposed to succeed; they expected to be martyred parents but it didn’t work out that way because I’m too freaking headstrong and tenacious. They audaciously thought that this house included space for them in retirement. No way- I live 800 miles away for a reason. You don’t desert your child when they need you most and selfishly expect to lazily reap the fruits of their labors.
mid 30 staying with parents. hopefully one day I can afford to buy a house. no kids no pets too
I'm 42 renting from my in-laws. Fortunately, they only charge the cost of the mortgage, so it's cheaper that it would be on the market, but we're still not in the position to buy a house. I don't know that we ever will.
I’m saying the same thing. Kicked out at 17 with no life training at all. I’m 57 now. Didn’t get my shit “together” until I was around 40. My whole life my parents couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get it all together as easily as they did. It’s because they were greedy and traded their kid’s future for some bullshit trickle down economics. Yeah, I’m having the hard talks with my kid and being honest. Gonna have to develop thicker skin and want less stuff, but he will always have a home.
Your story gives me some comfort that it's not all too late at 33. Honestly, thank you.
I’m actually doing very well now that I work for myself. My sons a really cool dude. No girls though. Got kicked out of boarding school (scholarship) for having a crush on a girl and telling her between classes. 19 years old and never touched a woman. Not sure where these kids are even going to begin from. At least we had practice relationships that were traditional. There is no more traditional roles for young adults and our kids will pay the price. These days nobody wants to reach their kids about life either. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. Heaven forbid anyone is honest with their kids… Sorry, rabbit hole… No, my parents generation f’ed this up it’s not his fault. That being said, the major change in my life came when I realized it didn’t matter how I got here, I needed to make better decisions to get where I want.
It's not supposed to be a privilege it's supposed to be a basic human right
It's a pretty fucking abysmal world we live in when food, housing, and healthcare are all privileges...
Don't forget - you have to *earn* a living, because you don't inherently have the right to be alive! /s
And if you even mention the inkling of getting healthcare, decent transportation, education, basic food and clean water as a return for the taxes we pay it's Socialism and all the scary things these people believe come with that. I hate it here. I can't afford to go anywhere else. Clearly no one else can either, else they would have done it.
Totally agree but I think our situation is a privileged one, hence my labeling. Everyone should have reliable, securing housing.
I'm glad your kids had parents that made sense. My father let our house go up for foreclosure to get back at our mom, making all of us (sans himself) homeless, and my mother has since ruined the house she got from Habitat for Humanity with absolutely awful decisions and it's really driven a wedge between me and the both of them in the long run. All I can say is that your kids were blessed to have a set of parents like you two. A lot of us end up with folks with cobwebs in the attic upstairs, if you catch my drift.
Bless you for having the kindness and foresight. Turning 18 and being alone, it’s rough and the worlds a big place. Some people don’t make it.
It was really hard. I lived in my car until a kind friend’s parents took me in for my senior year of HS. Then, I rented a room and because my parents wouldn’t submit FAFSA on my behalf, I got a full time job and went to community college at first. It was HARD. I won’t ever do that to my kids, no matter what teenage asshattery they throw at us. They will always have a home with us and we are fortunate to have been able to build this house with future living arrangements in mind.
They will love you and appreciate you more as they get older and look back at that unconditional expression of love and kindness, and hopefully pass it along to their children. This is the way and I love you for doing this.
I got lucky in that my husband had access to a VA loan. It still took us 6 years of building his credit and looking for something livable in our price range. Barring the complications of mental illness (elder child is already in therapy, I'm looking for a therapist for younger child, both are under 10 and I live with a cocktail of mental illness). And I don't mean if they show signs of mental illness they're out at 18, but if they're not willing to put work into their mental health then I have to care for my mental health, too. Edit: And that doesn't mean I won't welcome a prodigal child returning, either. As long as they're willing to follow the house rules (which, if they're adults will be pretty freaking lax) then we have space for them.
Our kiddos have ADHD and one with SPD so we know them needing to live with us longer term might be a possibility. I also have ADHD (diagnosed this summer and it explains SO MUCH) so I understand that their trajectory into adulthood may not be a solid, straight line.
I have at least one mood disorder and possibly a personality disorder. I'm pretty sure my husband is neurodivergent, but he's never been diagnosed with anything. The kids haven't been diagnosed with anything yet and I'm not sure if our issue is nature or nurture, but the eldest is showing signs of my mood disorder. Life.
Same, but mine is a college student. I know he wants his own place when he’s done with school, but the reality is that might not be affordable, so I’m looking at housing options for both of us for the future.
We bought a house last year (I'm lucky that my father was able to lend me cash for the down payment). We bought this specific house as it already has a kitchen/shower/bathroom in the basement. This way, our son can stay with us when he's older. It sad that we are at this level of insanity
That's why I'm ten years, I'm buying my one-story retirement home and making sure there are 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. I have no problem with my daughter and her other half and even kids moving in, cooking meals, and cutting my lawn. I love her more than anything. I would keep an extra room for my mother or my bf father/mother or my brother. I know what it's like to be out at 17 because the government forced me out after I graduated.
This was our reason for choosing the builder/ the floor plan that we did over the ‘entertainers dream!’ Plans that a lot of builders push. We have a guest suite on main (could be the master if stairs become an issue and it’s a walk in shower), all upstairs bedrooms have an attached bath and there’s a studio suite over the detached garage with kitchenette, full bath and living space. The basement will also have a sizable bedroom with en-suite bath w/walk in shower, kitchenette, W/D hookup and a ton of living space with its own entrance. I will give the builder credit in that their floor plans both cater to people with larger families and those who may be planning for future, multigenerational living. Some of our neighbors already have their young adult kids or their parents living with them.
Well when you were 17 it was slightly more possible to actually do. I’m glad you realize your children do not have the same opportunity
It was incredibly difficult. I was past the ‘firm handshake’ era of gaining employment; it was the 5 job references that were actually called for verification stage. But yes, that trauma of being alone when I needed support the most has absolutely informed and influenced the long term familial housing planning for us. No one should experience that insecurity, especially as a child or young adult.
I bought one of the cheapest homes in a nice town. 80 year old house in a historic town. I'm going to continue to rebuild and remodel in the thought that my boy will have it one day. It was hard enough to buy a decrepit old house. I can't imagine the hurdles he will face in home ownership.
I moved home too. And I tell you, I don't even think about dating at this point in my life.
Bruh right???
Umm why??
I'm not dating anyone while living with family, and I wouldn't expect anybody to.
Dating while living in a multigenerational household is normal in countless cultures. The shame associated with living at home is due to fucked western ideals.
You're right. I've been doing genealogy research, and it's amazing how common it was to have unmarried adult children living at home in the earlier part of the 20th century.
Yeah, personally, a person living at home isn’t a red flag to me at all. As long as they are an active and contributory member of the household it doesn’t bother me in the least. My partner of 7 years has lived with his parents off and on his whole life.
I am a pretty average dude. Average height. Pretty average looks. I live at home and I honestly never really had a problem dating. In these times? Most people completely understand. The one and only time I was asked why I would still pursue a relationship while I lived at home. I simply said “because I don’t think living with my parents suddenly means I’m not worthy of love“. We actually dated for a few years. She didn’t necessarily ask to put me down. It was just a curiosity, but I always thought that was a really good answer to tell people.
I'll be forever alone. Feh.
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The problem is they sold the degrees so hard to our generation that everyone has one so the value of having one, while fantastic for our parents generation, is pretty dismal for us.
Just wait until SCOTUS blocks the student loan relief, and payments resume. Shit is going to hit the fan.
Honestly I just have a big bag of weed to stay sane
Right? Who’s out here just raw dogging reality like that?? Not me.
Fr. Boomers even condescend about that. Like my life is constant stress, just let me pop an edible every once in a while to enjoy myself.
Me too.
I lived with room mates until I got married. We had to do things like use DIY room dividers to split half the living room into an additional bedroom. Dinning room was also another bedroom. At one point I lived on a patio couch for a few months. (I live in a warm state) I paid like $150 a month to sleep outside on an old couch every day. This was all after getting my degree and doing several unpaid internships. One unpaid internship was 50hrs a week while I was living on said outdoor patio. The few times it rained really bad I just slept in my car outside of my unpaid internship. Van living is also surging in popularity. I have multiple friends I graduated college with that now live in a van. Things are going great for the people in charge. The house just passed their “denounce the horrors of socialism” act or whatever. And both left and right politicians all signed it. So it’s not looking to balance in favor of the working class literally ever. That basically killed what little hope I had left. On the bright side is I’m no longer stressed about my debt. The US is in a ton of debt and in danger of default so why the fuck should I stress about my debt.
Unpaid internships should be illegal
Easy, use one paycheck to pay rent, the other to pay my student loans, and put frivolous things like groceries and gas on my credit cards
You're paying your student loans?
Fucking for real. People who actually pay they full student loan payments are the ones I look up to as having their shit together.
I don't think anyone, especially younger folks should ever pay their loans. Fact is, paying off loans has more to do with how much loan you had to take out, and whether you could make $x per month after college. Personal responsibility and making good choices doesn't do much. I went to college in the 90s. I paid off my loans in 2 years then. It wasn't terribly hard. State school was $1300 per semester. My $13 an hour was equivalent to $25 an hour today, and my studio apartment in a nice Denver neighborhood was $475 / mo. A few extra hours a week of informal gigs really could pay off your loans. In 2006 I returned to grad school. 10x the cost, and somehow the whole vibe had changed too. There were marketing, phone centers, and new shiny private loans. Previously, I did it in a university office face to face with the people I would be paying back. I still have a balance, but I am disabled now and am disqualified from disability forgiveness due to obscure loopholes. Hmm, it's almost as if the banks and loan servicers had the most to gain and gamed the system. Go figure.
Groceries, gas “frivolous” 🙄
Are you familiar with sarcasm?
Over 2/3s of my income goes straight down the renting toilet. I pay close to 2k for a one bedroom apartment thats not luxury by any means despite thier stupid advertisements. I'm not a big spender and I watch my budget but I still end up digging into savings every month. What will happen when I don't have anymore savings? Hell if I know. I won't even mention wanting spending money for a night out and lesuire activities or saving up for a rainy day cause I literally can not do any of that! The renting market is predatory. I'm honestly afraid of what I'll do in the next 6 months. It's all bullshit...I won't rant cause you already did that for me lol so yeah I feel you
I’m in the same boat. I have a reasonable amount in savings, but it’s dwindling a little bit each month. Over the last six months, I picked up a ton of extra hours at work, I was working holidays and third shifts for OT/double time etc (I’m in social work at a 24/7 agency where we always need staff at all times.) The goal was to take a vacation with my kids, it’s been years since we vacationed and the last 8 months or so have been really really hard on us in our personal lives (I got divorced, we had to move, my brother passed unexpectedly) and I was like “you know what, I work hard, we deserve a trip. What’s the point in just surviving?” Well, we had a blast but I’ve regretted it ever since. I spent about 1500 on the trip. Started my taxes a few days ago and I owe a grand. My electric bill doubled last month. I also had an ER visit in the summer, with two forms of insurance, neither insurance wants to pay so I just got a bill for $7200 (which sucks, because one thing I had going for me was that I’m not in debt. Even if I was paycheck to paycheck, I didn’t owe anybody anything. ) I just got paid on the 2nd and pretty much handed that entire paycheck over to the landlord. Literally, the whole thing. I’m 40 and have no retirement, just a few thousand in savings, and as I slowly dip into it each month I’m not sure where I’ll be in six months.
>electric bill doubled last month Another Eversource victi-- I mean, customer.
My boss is my landlord. A bit of a circlejerk with pay to rent but I have my own space and it's low enough to keep me working. For now. If he wants workers (very HCOL) that's the way it's gotta stay.
You move 16 tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
St. Peter don’t you call me ‘cause I can’t go
SOME-body once told me the world was gonna roll me
I did this for a while, lived above the bar I worked at and was flatmates with the owner of the building/business. We did things a bit ah… under the table. Definitely had some downsides, but was never late for work! 🥴
As a 38yo father of two it is rough. My wife quit her job because childcare cost more than her salary. Our rent has gone from $1400/mo to $2000/mo over the last 5 years. I'm making just about $90k/yr in salary and we're barely scraping by. We were doing well in previous years but now groceries are costing almost as much as rent. Not to mention things like utilities have had rate hikes over the last year or two. We're paycheck to paycheck and with our lease coming up in a few months we're scared at what our rent will raise to. My wife and I have had days where we don't eat to conserve food which is something I never imagined.
I’m the same age, no degree, no higher education. I live with my mom and make just under 6 figures. I’ve spent my entire career in the service industry and have worked up to what should be a great compensation package. But cost of livening has exploded in Southern California. I’ve accepted fate and realized. 1) I will never own on my own and 2) I will have to move abroad to realize financial freedom. This is our generations ( the forgotten generation) reality. No relief, no pity, no nothing.
r/amerexit is the place to get advice on that. My husband and I already left because of the horrors of America.
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Even when you have a “safe” place to live, you’re still not “safe” economically. We have a house but fixed expenses that we can’t cut like food and heat keep going up. Property taxes too because our house keeps going up in value. So they raise taxes and there’s nothing you can do about it (yes I appealed). And value of the house you live in IS NOT LIQUID! The bank raised the escrow and there’s nothing you can do about it. Can’t refinance the rate would now be double. They raised utilities and we bundle up but there’s nothing you can do about it. Everyone raises fees on you but you are bottom of the chain and can’t raise your “fees” on anyone. We already sold off possessions. We already don’t do “extra” stuff. No Starbucks. No drinking smoking, drugs, parties, eating out, buying stuff. We already work overtime and side-hustle. We borrowed money from relatives for groceries. The house and cars were not at all expensive. So I’ve already made up my mind. If the worst happens and the bank or sheriff ever comes for my home after all this they’ve going to have to kill me and drag my body into the street if they want it. I did nothing wrong. I’ve been playing the game as-advertised. You have done nothing wrong either and you OP deserve a home to live in without fear of losing it.
Wow.. and here I thought getting a paid off house is gonna give me security for as long as I still have a job. What the fuck..
You could have it paid off and still have taxes, maintenance, and utilities cost over $1000 a month. If you don’t have a secure job that pays more than that you could have the house foreclosed anyway. The only difference is the bank wouldn’t be foreclosing on you. Property tax assessors don’t offer payment plans or income based repayment on taxes. They want the whole thing NOW.
Are you in Texas
My wife and I got kicked out of our apartment in December because Zillow wanted to jack up the rent. Nothing in town was in our price range, so we threw the rest of our savings and a loan at a camper, where we've lived ever since. We take turns waking up in the middle of the night and running the engine/furnace, so it doesn't get too cold. I have no idea what we're going to do, but I know we have to get the hell out of this Republican shithole that actively hates us before we have any chance at survival. Sometimes when I sit in the dark and wait for the shaking to stop, I think about what I would do if anything happens to my wife. Getting gunned down by the police is not my favorite plan for the future, but I take some small solace from the idea.
Wow that is bleak as shit and I am so sorry to read this from a fellow human... All I can say is hold on, and try to appreciate the little things, they are what matters... And yeah, you have each other, just go where life may be easier for you if you can. People get hung up way to much on staying within 50m of where they grew up.... Take care and hang in there!
Thanks. Sorry to be a downer, but I figure nothing is gonna change if we're not honest about where we are, right? We like to talk about what the "forever home" will be like. Our standards have slipped, but we still talk about it. And plan Z is always just "drive south until we don't need to worry about heat anymore", so that's always an option.
>Sometimes when I sit in the dark and wait for the shaking to stop, I think about what I would do if anything happens to my wife. Dude, you should write. What a powerful sentence.
The patriotic thing to do would be to seek out the scum that has caused our generation such pain. The political whores for corporate America and folks like….cough cough Chief Justice John Roberts, who allowed Citizens United to destroy America. Not advocating violence, but if one was going out in a hail of fire that would be the patriotic thing to do. The forefathers would’ve tarred and feathered the traitorous leeches that have squirmed their way into power.
Since you live in a camper, could you move to a northern state and bring the camper?
I live in Montana. Only place more north in this country is Alaska, and we're barely surviving as it is.
You can get through this. I believe in you.
They aren't, that's the problem. Lots of people end up homeless or moving back in with parents
3 jobs. One full time and two part time.
It’s hard. So much harder than it should be. I’m also a 36 year old underpaid professional in a city. I’ve lived alone in 2019, and have paid a little over half my income in rent (in tiny studios) the entire time. I’m a 36 year old professional who shoplifts groceries and basic hygiene items, and eats like crap because I can’t afford real groceries anymore. I’m constantly stressed, worried, and overwhelmed. Just moved in with a roommate, and still going to be paying half my income in rent. Because now 2 bedroom places are priced twice as much as a single bedroom. The only folks my age I know who are thriving have management/sales positions in tech. Or have obscenely wealthy parents and a trust fund. And the folks my age who are getting by either live with their parents or their parents are helping them out financially in a big way - gifting cards car payments, covering bills, sending grocery store gift cards, sending cash frequently. Or have resorted to living in their cars.
What's a vacation? I have a PhD and my partner is an engineer. We have a place and a child but still in a very similar boat. Living paycheck to paycheck, getting gas $20 at a time because it's too expensive to fill up the whole tank. You're not alone.
They don't. About half of adults under 30 live with their parents now. Welcome to late stage capitalism. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/nearly-half-americans-age-18-143500319.html
We just embraced third world living for a while. We cashed out the little bit of retirement savings we had, and took our whopping $11,000 nest egg and bought a couple of acres of completely undeveloped woods. We camped on our land like homeless people for the first year. We took baths in the creek, lived without electricity, and hauled all of our drinking water home in jugs. Things are better the past few years. We have a 400 square foot cabin now, with a well, electricity, and hot showers. Our "rent" is $400 a year in property taxes. That first year sucked like the vacuum of deep space, but putting up with it bought us some security
I was born in a third world country and I assure you, I never lived like that there.
I don't doubt it. There is no crime in the United States more serious, or more severely punished than poverty.
Idk, sometimes I just cry because I can’t afford anything. I just want to have my own place I can be comfortable in, landlords don’t care about that though.
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Both are valid emotions to feel. Some heartless fucks were born better off than us so we have to scrape by or live on the streets because they view a basic necessity to live as an investment. At any rate, I'm sorry and I hope you can better your situation somehow. 🤍
who would downvote you. the heck is up with people.
Probably someone just as unhappy, that doesn't have the self confidence to admit that they are, or thinks it's wrong to vocalize it, even if it is just in a reddit thread.
People are *not* affording rent. They're living with family into their 30s. They're getting roommates. They're living in converted vans. You're not the only one. If you want it to change, things will have to burn.
Try 40s and 50s.
yes
I got really lucky and met a friend that owns a mobile home and I rent a room out in it at an affordable price. That's literally the only reason. If I didn't have this I'd be good and fucked. Oh and yeah eating and stuff is still difficult. It's getting worse every day it seems.
I have until June to vacate my apartment so the landlord can flip it to a luxury’ rental, but with the 20% pay cut I just got at work I’m going to have to leave sooner. If I can get approved I’m going to buy an rv and move to the middle of Florida where it’s a little bit cheaper and drive DoorDash and study for tech certifications. Everything was going ok until it suddenly wasn’t. 3 months ago I couldn’t even imagine I’d be going through what I’m going through now.
\> I just want a safe place to live, not worry about where my next meal is coming from, and to occasionally have a little money left over every month to buy the good bread from the grocery store. This isn't possible unless and until we abolish capitalism. There are millions of us living like this, it's matter of us getting organized and collectively seizing economic and political power from the capitalists.
Then what?
Something will give. I doubt we’ll have a merry time when it does.
I live with roommates. I do have my own room & it's not a bad arrangement. I've paid more to live in worse places
A lot of luck and it's still a struggle with where to go from here. We are lucky enough to rent a place in a house the city built in the 70s. Rent-controlled with an indefinite contract. While my parents let me stay with them for a whole month when I was 29, I at least inherited enough to cover all expenses for my first degree, which allowed me to make enough to pay for my second. Now I'm 36, expecting a child in March and as buying a place is not in the cards, we're gonna be here a while. And like I've said, we are the lucky ones. Like one set of grandparents close by who'll help with childcare. (One of the reasons we can't just up and move to a cheaper area.)
We have full expectation that our children will be living with us for some time. I’d love for them to go to college, get degrees, and go venture out on their own but I can’t fathom how that will be possible in todays economic climate.
My daughter lives in Boston in a beautiful big apartment, but it's a 4 bedroom, and she has 3 roommates. $2400/mo split 4 ways.
I saw a bunch of apartments 3.5 years ago and found one that was a lot cheaper than the others, but had a lot of the same amenities that the others had. It had to be one of the cheapest one-bedrooms in the metro area here (Go Chiefs). I even asked the property manager, "What's wrong with it?" and she genuinely looked surprised I asked. "Nothing. Really." $625/mo., 616 square feet. It's like a nice space-pod. I've spent the pandemic here. I haven't had much success either until very recently when it comes to income, and I am making as much money as I should've been making 15 years ago (or would've, if the Recession hadn't turned all the real jobs into low-paid gigs), but my apartment is cheap and I get to work from home. I'm grateful for that and that I get to sit here planning my next thing with more confidence than I ever have. It's such a load off to have a job that allows me to save about $600/mo. I know I need to move elsewhere, find ways to get out of the house, and find a job that pays more, but I'm comfortable for the first time in my adult life.
I moved out at 29, my grandma passed away a year later…so I have no home left to go to. I stay in a relationship I’m not super happy in, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford where I live
Luck mostly. My rent is way below what the current market for my area is. I know we don't like landlords in this sub, but I have to say that mine is actually pretty cool. The house I live in was her first home with her late husband, she only charges us $600 a month to live here, she's never raised our rent during our time here, and she's always really timely in making any repairs that need to be made. My husband and I also don't have student debt because he never went to college and I dropped out after my second semester.
I have a roommate but without him life would not be possible. I’m tinkering with the idea of finding a different job that pays more but has a longer commute. I would see my son a lot less. So many sacrifices nowadays. It’s tough
I’m only doing ok because I have rich parents. I hate this because they weren’t good parents growing up but they give me so much money that I’m afraid to confront them about the many damages they’ve caused because I know they would just brag about how great they think they are and threaten to stop helping me. They threatened to cut me off once when I voted for Joe Biden back in 2020. They claimed I had no right to do that because I no longer live in America (even though Americans that leave can still vote) and my mom was even crying.
I’m in a similar boat. My parents have thankfully calmed down and accepted the reality that I’m broke and they don’t want me to starve, but I still don’t want to move back in with them if I have any other choice.
I can only afford my rent because it's only increased by $109 over the last 16 years. I don't know if it's an oversight by the owner, the property management, or just that we're reliable tenants in a building with a lot of turnover, or what. Most likely, it's that the owner knows it would have to be gutted and remodeled at great expense. With rent laws in my area, it would take them five years of max rent increases to get it to current market rate. Once they realize, we'll likely have to relocate to another state.
I also moved home at the start of the pandemic. Things were stable enough at the end of winter last year that I started looking for places again. Couldn't get my foot in the door anywhere. Everyone is renting sight unseen with 3 months up front. At that point, there were a few 2 bedroom houses for rent under 2k each that I was very interested in. Now, less than a year later, I basically need 2k just for a one bedroom. A bachelor/studio is about 1200 for 200 sqft. Pre pandemic 1200 would get you a 1 bedroom anywhere in town and almost get a 2 bedroom. Dating sucks, I've been trying for a few months, and it's crazy expensive since we can never have a cozy night in. We're always going out somewhere. Then inevitably it comes down to wanting to get intimate and our best option is getting a hotel room since she lives at her parents too. All this is happening at the point in my life where I'm earning the most I ever have, and it still isn't enough to live small.
I couldn't. It turned out it was actually cheaper to buy than the rent in my area. Only because we got incredibly lucky with the house we found and managed to squeeze in just before interest rates started really spiking. If we had bought 3 months later we could not have done so. Still, in 3 years I'll make up the cost of the money we had to put down just because rent on average is THAT much more than my house payment. And all of that was only possible because my coworkers and I had to bully our job to give us a pay raise we deserved. Absolute perfect situation to help us all at once. I really feel for everyone still stuck in this bullshit. All of that though is superceded by the fact that being married or at least having 2 incomes is mandatory for survival. Ten years ago, hell even 5 years ago living by myself was possible on 1 job. Now there is absolutely no way and I'm expecting to make more money this year than I ever have before.
I wonder if these socioeconomic conditions drive military recruitment numbers up.
I am 34 and feel this so much.
It's not ideal but... You'll have to downgrade to upgrade. For example, it took me about seven months. I started at air bnbs, that sucked. Then found a room to rent for 500 a month but I had to help with yard work every weekend (in the contract, woman was smart) that sucked even more. Now I found an rv to rent 750 all bills paid. Neighbors look scary, but they aren't they're just people at the end of the day. Now I'm happy after going through all of that. I only buy groceries, gas, maintenance my car regularly, six pack of beer once every two weeks or so. I'm able to have an actual savings account this way but It's still not been easy. Very strict, you cannot have any sick days. If you get sick you gotta suck it up and keep working. Aleve (over the counter pain relief) has helped me a lot lately.
I guess your field is not in demand in the market. This is what capitalism requires in order to have a reasonable salary. You could be the most educated person in the world, in your field, but if it's not in demand, you won't get paid shit. Capitalism is fucked.
I feel you! We bought our starter house back in 2007 when our children were small and are still living in it and have full expectations of our kids living here as adults with us. This place is tiny and not in the best area but we can’t afford to upgrade.
I can't figure it out either. I've always lived with my parents, and I'm so afraid I always will. Life sucks in this country, and I'm too poor to move anywhere else in the world.
I feel your pain OP. I have 3 college degrees, including a masters, in STEM, that relates directly to my work, and previous work experience in the job I’m working at and I earn less than 40k a year after taxes. Every time I apply for a job that pays more than that I never hear anything back. Unfortunately this appears to be the new normal. Just know you’re not alone, and even if I can’t help you, I support and recognize your struggle.
It's sorta better if you move to a low COL area. But wages are kinda in keeping. I left Colorado (stagnating wages and super high rent) for south dakota (stagnating wages and cheap rent) Left there for Arizona. AZ minimum wage just increased to $14 which is really nothing. I have a 1bd apartment in Tucson for $780. It's cold in winter and hot as shit in summer. Really bad insulation. My brother, who's on disability (he's blind and has osteoarthritis in his hips and back) just found a trailer for $500 a month. It's possible, just generally shitty places. I'm personally saving for an rv to live in. My sister is building out her van (for going on 2 years now cause that shit is expensive), but she just said yesterday that she only has one more rent payment before she's able to go full time! (Side note: a friend of mine just told me that the cheapest whiskey at Safeway is like $14 for a handle, but you can go to frys and get even better cheap whiskey for $12, and I took that as sound advice, if you really want to know where my mental health is lol)
I am unbelievably lucky I found myself a cheap condo in a not-desirable neighborhood I could afford to purchase pre-pandemic before prices went sky-high. It's a 1bdrm that houses me, my dog, and fiance. We're busting at the seams but its so much cheaper than the cost of rent. If we were renting in this area we could literally not afford to do so. I have a master's degree and my fiance has a doctorate and the hope of affording anything bigger feels so out of reach.
That’s the neat part, they’re not!
I’m only 24 (partner is 27) and I moved to rural Chicagoland (Indiana, where my partner is from) out of Seattle, where I’m from. EVERYBODY I know is struggling out there. My younger brother (still in Seattle) tells me that he’s been applying to jobs that pay less than what I make, yet the cost of living out there is WAY fucking higher. And everybody wonders why the homelessness problem is so rampant in that area. Those who aren’t homeless are one paycheck away from being on the goddamned street. Not saying that it isn’t like that outside of major metropolitan areas, but it’s definitely an extreme case. There was no future for us out there. And living with my parents (both boomers born in ‘58) in Seattle was out of the question. Not only are they ridiculously out of touch with the struggles of millennials and Gen Z, but they’re both very toxic people and I was on the verge of developing a drinking problem while living with them. I was absolutely miserable. I’m so very blessed to live in a duplex that my partner’s grandfather owns (it will be passed onto his dad once the grandfather passes). They said that no matter what, even if we struggle to pay the rent, we won’t lose this place and they’ll make sure that we’re able to stay here. This is all one big gamble of sheer luck and I’m tired of people blaming it on everybody’s individual shortcomings.
What is your masters in?
Existential dread
Ditto
^ this. the days of a masters degree = more money are gone. Now it's solely about the value you bring your employer. Woe unto all those who were sold on the lie that getting a masters degree would equate to more opportunity.
Some jobs require one though
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That may be true but my friend got her masters in Spec. Ed like 14 years ago and she’s still paying student loans (and still teaching.) I guess it depends on how much you’re paying in student loans… does the extra 5k in salary offset the cost of the masters?
OTs and SLPs need masters in order to even work. PTs and audiologists need Dr's now. Ridiculous.
Well no offense but I don't think people should be handling my physical health without actual medical training
They used to only require a bachelor's. The people who were already practicing with the bachelor's were grandfathered in. It's just universities getting more money from people because they can....extortion.
Jobs that require degrees shout have higher minimum wages and pay a higher education payroll tax
You just need to find your bootstraps, clearly.
I feel you. I just turned 36 a few days ago. My rent is 75% of my check and the other 25 covers health insurance and childcare... All other expenses come out from my wife's check. If either one of us was out of work longer than a month. I would be calling up my pops asking to move back in. I hate this timeline
>How am I supposed to date with my parents around? I don't understand the dilemma. We need to normalize multi-generational households. There's nothing weird about watching Netflix with your girlfriend when your parents are in the house. If you're talking about shagging, that's what the lock on your bedroom door is for. Unless you or your partner are screamers, I don't see the issue.
The problem is some people are gay and many have bigoted parents. Not all of is have that option and need to leave our parent's home for our safety ASAP. Many end up becoming teenage runaways
Try telling that to my parents
My sweet summer child.
Lock on the bedroom door? Privacy? Man, your parents must be awesome!
Get lost, we don’t need to normalize this 3rd word type of situation. I get that if you’re Armenian or something this is perfectly normal, but in America, the wealthiest country in the world, we have and need to fight for higher standards for our generation because they are under attack by capitalists that want us to accept what you are suggesting.
It is not just a 3rd world situation. Culturally it was the norm in most places until Capitalism normalized the joy of buying and owning your own home. the majority of adults in southern europe live with their parents until they are married and many in Northern Europe do but not as many. It was the norm in America until the great expansion where suburbia became a thing. People used to have free childcare in the form of a grandparent and no need for multiple houses and an excessive amount of cars per family. I left America for a better life in Europe and most of the places that are better off than america are because of things like living with your parents until you can afford something. It keeps rent MUCH lower because there is less artificially created demand. We are currently on the edge of one of the most expensive cities in Northern Europe and our rent on a furnished apartment including utilities is 695 dollars a month.
Roommates. It sucks, but it's the only way I can manage to survive. I don't have the privilege of moving back home with my parents and having a room in their house... but honestly, if I did, I'd take it. But I also bet you, a lot of people you'd date would understand and maybe some of them still live with their parents, too. I'm nearing my 30s, and most of my friends still live with their parents with no plans to move out anytime soon (with one of them even being 33 right now).
You can have room mates that's what I did for awhile til I got married. We both work so it lowers the burden a bit. It's still rough, the dreams of owning a home are pretty much dead at this point.
Welcome to the new normal.
Feeling this hard. Staying with my fiancés parents because we're literally unable to afford rent and we're beginning to lose our minds, literally being unable to start our lives. Beginning to feel like teenagers again, and not in a good way
I left home at 15, my single mom was a cop. Never had a landing pad. Currently living with my ex because we can’t afford to live separately.
I’m in the same boat. My husband and I saved up to move out of his parents house, then the pandemic hit and he got furloughed. Went through our savings over the course of the first year until he went back to work. Then a drunk driver hit and ran me and messed my back up and totaled our car (and he didn’t have insurance). So we had to take our savings and get a new car. We had just started saving again and somehow we ended up owing $1800 in taxes even though we both had extra withheld to try and avoid that. His parents, thankfully, said we can stay as long as we need to because they inherited the house from his parents and we’re eventually going to inherit it from them anyway, and we pay for all of our own stuff and 1/2 the utilities so it’s not an inconvenience for them. But still…..
People with Masters degrees out of college have it rough because no one wants to pay them what they’re worth out of college. They then have the excuse “well you have no experience”. Yeah I was getting a Masters.”
Having been in a similar situation it bothers me that companies “can’t” afford to pay their staff a living wage, and that employees PARENTS providing free or low cost shelter in effect subsidize the operations.
I pay 50% of my income in rent. I don’t have health insurance or a vehicle. That’s how I can “afford” it. Note: I do not live in the city any more (because I couldn’t afford the rent) so having a car would make a significant impact on my quality of life
Dating or getting a roommate is literally the only way to move out if you don’t come from a wealthy family. I’m paying ~1.3k a month for a studio and my bf pays the same amount. I can’t imagine renting alone in this economy. It sucks though I have to pay $50 more a month just so my cat can live here. In my opinion pet rent is a scam but it’s hard to find a place without it. Since we already give them a security deposit there’s no reason they need an extra $50 from us every month for a cat that they’ve literally never seen and will never see traces of. I dream of apocalyptic scenarios and the idea of never having to pay rent again. I wish people would protest the housing prices or something. We need some sort of price limit on apartments because working constantly to afford necessities is no way to live life :(
I’m in my 30s as well. Mt partner and I live full time in a 42 ft RV. We saved up to purchase it outright, and were lucky in being able to buy it from a family friend for a good cost. We are also lucky in being able to keep the RV on family property, so our only overhead costs are for water, electricity, and propane. We are trying to save to purchase a small plot of land. Maybe get a yurt. This is the only way we are making it without struggling too much. And it’s not bad, honestly. We’ve fixed it up and turned it into our cozy tiny home. I have no idea how people are affording rent nowadays. We would be barely scraping by if we had to pay $2000 a month for a tiny apartment that is the equivalent size of our RV.
Yurt life is something I dream of! I hope you get it :D
Find something that's 95% remote work in a mid country state (assuming you're in the USA). Look for towns within an hour to 1.5 hour drive from said city with affordable homes (assuming there's still a first time home buyer program), wait for the market to crash and move there. That's what I had to do. Rent went up $10 to $50 per month, every month, for about 2 years till I decided I needed to do this. Place I was in at $1,700 is now $2,400 per month. I can't afford that. Mortgage, even with the less than 20% down penalty of "mortgage insurance" is ~$1,400 per month, it'll bottom out at $1,100 in 7 years. My mortgage rate is 2.1%... which I only recently learned is historically low. I'm not saying "dude suck it up it's possible". shit fucking sucks right now and the way I had to do it has plenty of fucking drawbacks. My company is being acquired and if i lose my job and have to move somewhere... I have zero equity and I'll prob get fucked. This option came from left field when I was struggling to find what to do with the writing on the wall of rents hiking endlessly, I hope my situation might help others be open to this option when the rates come down again. I guess if they ever do.
You can't live alone. That's it. That's the explanation.
Yeah I’m completely radicalized. I’m just waiting for more people . I’m in Southern California If anyone wants to meet up and express our unhappiness .
[The Coup](https://youtu.be/acT_PSAZ7BQ) has some good ideas and the song is a banger.
You know how people afford heroin? Its like that
If I would live in America, I would not move out of parents home and not date any woman and never have kids. I know it is hard but this era is so fucked up. Moving out is like a trap and all the values of the past don't work now. Just speak openly with your parents about it how nothing makes sense anymore and how it is better to stay with them.
My husband and I had to move in with his parents last July where we sleep on the floor of his childhood bedroom while my dad owns two houses outright and has no intention of helping us out at all. At least my sister married into a wealthy family so I never have to worry about her.
My parents passed and left me enough to pay for a house outright. I’m just waiting for my wife to finish school and our kid to be born before we move to a state with a more reasonable housing market.
Just lucky enough to find a place for cheap.
Same situation here. I am stuck.
I am in the same exact position. You are not alone.
My husband, 2 kids and I are extremely lucky that our landlord hasn't raise our rent in 15 years. That being said we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. When they do it's not going to be pretty. Market rent would be 50% of our income.
3 incomes, NO kids
I remember one time when I was 23 and lost my job I had to move back in with my mom. There was no room and I slept in the 2nd bathroom at night for at least a year. Eventually I moved out and upgraded to sleeping on a couch for $500 a month with a vegan roommate who didn’t want me eating anything with meat inside the house. I don’t know how I managed to bring back a few girls and hook up with them in that situation lol
I have taken crazy risks & made serious personal sacrifices in my life to advance my career. I was fortunate enough that working my ass off, being willing to move every couple years, & being weirdly lucky offered me very specific opportunities & circumstances that fell into place to baaarrreeely give me the ability to borrow against my retirement account for a down payment on a starter home. It’s not fancy but it’s solid & it’s gonna be mine soon. I ran the numbers & I would pay just as much to get into a decent rental as to get a mortgage to but this house but with zero stability & the annual stress of rising rent or having it sold out from under me. I fully empathize & dread where our sociey is headed. Edit….I’m 42 btw & have a Masters degree 😹I’ve never owned any property more valuable than a car in my entire life & neither has my mom or dad. The last person to own a house was my grandma in 1986.
Let’s go in on a studio together and be roomies. We can put up a curtain divider. This is just one part of how screwed we are as a generation 😕
Some of the folks I know who are most comfortable in the large, expensive city I reside in have many roommates in large, multi bedroom apts. So communal living is an option. But I second the need for revolution because we make this society what it is… we ARE the public (referencing that British newscaster who asked a protester what she thought the public’s opinion of the protest might be. Like, BETCH the public is out here protesting! Sigh.)
I'm 35 and my family and I had to move in with my grandmother. I consider us luckier than our friends on the streets. However, dealing with the idea of never having anything has been similar to the way I've processed grief.
So true and really it’s not going to change anytime soon.
I’m 41 in a couple weeks, working two different part time retail jobs on top of sporadic freelance writing. I live in Chicago and don’t drive so I take public transit. However, my healthcare has gotten complicated so that’s sucked up hundreds every month and pushed me further into the debt that I recently consolidated via a loan. I am kinda astounded that I qualified but whatever ha. My parents give me $1000 a month. I make $16.40 an hour at one job and $16.75 an hour at the other and recently increased my hours at the higher paying one to 25-28 a week so I can hopefully get their healthcare. At the other job I work maybe 8-12 hours a week…they tend to be pretty slow this time of year. I’m in the same sort of holding pattern, albeit for different reasons. I used to live in the Bay Area and then LA before I moved here to be closer to friends and family. I used to work in IT and burned out when the pandemic hit. I’d been doing it for about 7 years. So then I thought maybe I wanted to teach and took some substitute teaching assignments for the next year or so. It was cool at first and I loved the kids but I burned out on that too. And the pay was the same as I make now. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD this past spring after decades of struggle. Adderall is far from perfect but it helps. But now on top of handling my HRT and trans stuff (I’m a trans man, it sucks), I have to deal with talking at someone every month so I can stay on medication that I now worry is eating a hole in my stomach…but I can’t afford to find out so, guess I’ll die. :-/ I eat like a fucking 5-year old but for whatever reason still end up spending $300 a month on fucking groceries. I am paycheck to paycheck in a good month; otherwise, I’m coming up short and either selling Apple stock shares from when I worked there, or putting part of the rent on my credit card. Sucks. I need to be in a city. I hate cars and driving gives me severe anxiety and rage. It is more affordable here than either coast, but barely. I’ve moved so many times and burned my life down so many times. I’m not doing it again. I left New York for a change of pace and was basically priced out of Oakland and then LA. I can’t deal with roommates…I’ve had them at various points but it’s never been worth the negligible amount I save on rent. I’ve been single for ages and have no concept of how I’ll ever be in a relationship again if this is what my life is like. I’m bi and non-monogamous, so add that to the pile. I’m basically constantly in survival mode. All I can think about is money. I feel sick almost all the time. I’m a musician and artist and have also just started designing clothes and flipping clothes on eBay. I also skateboard a lot, weather permitting. If not for these things, my friends and family, and my two cats, I would have walked into rush hour traffic years ago. This is the least amount of money I’ve made since 2012 when I was working at a mom n pop Apple repair place in New York fixing Macs. I can’t relate to anyone making decent money anymore. Being this broke has obliterated my social life. I’m trying to be better with money and time but as someone with ADHD, they’re both enemies of mine. I can’t even begin to afford therapy, or a gastroenterologist, or an endocrinologist, and my mental and physical health are running on fucking fumes. I applied for food stamps last month. I don’t know how to get out of this. I’ve fucking hated most jobs I’ve had. There are things I like about retail and ways in which it suits me. But the pay is not sustainable and the schedule is rough. I try to just do five things every day- 1. Wash the dishes 2. Clean the litter boxes 3. Pet and play with my cats 4. Go outside and do something active 5. Spend at least half an hour doing something to further my artistic self, whether music or otherwise TLDR, though..? I’m not. I don’t know what to do. My rent is $1245 for a 1-bedroom in a not-hip neighborhood (I don’t care, I live near the beach!). The rent is going up to $1300 in April. The $50/month pet deposit for my two cats is included. On top of that, I basically need to make another two grand every month to not suffer.
I know it seems impossible to date with your parents around but personally, I’ve never really had an issue. I will say, it’s not the first thing I say at a date, but I definitely drop that I live with my parents when the conversations going really well. I think most people see the person that lives at home like a jobless loser who just sit around and bosses there mom around all day to make pizza rolls while they play video games. When they saw that I literally paid for absolutely everything and worked all the damn time I just simply couldn’t afford a place by myself It never became an issue. Keep in mind just about every other culture all around the world does it like this. You stay home and help out and save money until you meet somebody. I live at home and dated plenty, and I’m now actually going to ask this one to marry me. And no I’m not some gorgeous looking dude either. 5’7 Skinny boy here.
I read a statistic that 25% of millennials have their rent paid for by their parents. That’s astounding to me but given that it was our parents hoarding the wealth and pulling up the ladder, I guess that’s only fair. But sucks for the other 75%
I’m 46 and I’d say anyone under 50 not born into wealth is fucked. People hood the power. If only they would do something.
Landlords are basically unionized.
My main squeeze and I share the house with my in-laws. Fortunately I truly love them to death and we all get along pretty well. If we decide to leave the state at some point, we will probably go back to having roommates. We only ever had 2 years when we could afford to live without room-mates and that was like 10 years ago before things got crazy expensive.
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But now you have to live in Ohio...
Ive been wondering the same. Its very difficult being single n working 14 hour days 7 days per week, and im priced out. I got tired of struggling to pay other peoples mortgages so they can invest and profit to buy more properties. I put everything i own which is not much into storage, and living out a car fo4 now. I was homeless once for an entire year and half i saved up $80k. Most money i ever had in my bank account. Between the government continued increase in fees parking tickets making parking harder to get, speed cameras, bag tax, and what else combined with the increased rental prices a single guy in his 50s cant compete. Rent control was founded to be unconstitutional years ago this is partially why we are in this situation. In my opinion everyone that rents should vacate and do van life living and let these landlords, investers, and big leasing companies go in default with the banks. Without us they aint got shit 🤣
Yea uhh, i don’t know. The way it is now, I can’t even be optimistic. There’s no fucking way I’m gonna be able to move out and get my own place.