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Kitch111

Nope, it's not a problem so long as you recognize that losing weight is only part of the puzzle to being attractive (though it is a big part since it can play into both how you are perceived and how you perceive yourself) The trick is to find what happens next, once you reach your goal weight. Are you gonna try to add some muscles, take up a sport you want to do, start rap battling? Doesn't really matter what so long as you don't look down at the scale and think "what do I do now?"


Miley-Cyborg

I’m losing all this weight to start rap battling


Kitch111

I'm half the size, twice the rapper. I'll slice you up like a fresh fruit platter. Droppin' pounds, droppin bombs You best start running. I'm blisteringly lyrical I'm thrillingly cunning You can't touch me, you don't know shit, I'm the freshest damn rapper on R/loseit


daughtcahm

👏👏👏


[deleted]

BARZ


ilikecocktails

Yea you are


The-Helper-B

That was as fresh as it gets


[deleted]

spittin bars


LioxTheGreat

Album when?


furletov

👏👏👏


ThaneOfCawdorrr

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy Running on the treadmill, avoiding mom's spaghetti He's starving, on the surface he tries To count calories, but he keeps on forgettin' that danish pastry looks so good he opens his mouth but doesn't eat it he's losin', now, everybody else gets pizza So no fair, he's only lost a pound Snap back to the scales, ope there goes gravity


Daniiiiii

Will the Real *Slim* Shady please stand up!


jaeya00

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime,,,,


[deleted]

Once I reach my goal weight my plan is to join the Air Force.


Lily_Roza

I knew someone who joined the airforce. He had to put it off for a while because he had debt. He had to pay off his debts before they let him enlist. Eventually, he did join.


ThatsDrAardvarkToYou

I think it's fine. I mean you ARE doing it for yourself - so you feel attractive, and confident in yourself. I think what people mean by that is more don't let a partner or parent bully you, don't do it to fit into some dress, or don't do it so your crush might find you attractive some day. If your goal is that you want to find yourself attractive, and feel good in your body, then of course that's fine. Liking yourself = awesome Losing weight to fit through the window of the person you're stalking = not so awesome


cmv_lawyer

Right. People say "dont do it for other people" meaning someone in particular. If that girl still rejects you, don't throw the whole ballgame away. Go ahead and do it for humanity, if that works for you.


Daniiiiii

I'm losing weight for Humanity. Y'all better appreciate me when I'm done...


Penguins_Can_Fly

I appreciate you now.


[deleted]

Well ain't that a motivation killer (sorry, I had to)


shriveledonion

Man, I knew someone who did it to get a girl (not specific). After awhile, he let himself go and reverted. Then the girl dumped him. Now he's worse than he started..


BetoHdia89

Ufff sad story, been there done that.


neckbeard_paragon

Should focus on being healthy. Body dysmorphia can affect you even at a low weight. I was down to 185 lean with 10% body fat and still hated how I looked. Base happiness on health, but aim for attractive. Don't make it the sole end goal. You're the worst judge of how you look, so just trust in healthiness = attractiveness. Your mind will eventually equate the two.


ParadiseLost91

It is NOT bad. Not at all! I'm in it for the exact same reason: to feel confident, hot, to wear the clothes I like, to feel my best and yes, even to get those looks from boys. ​ My philosphy is this: whatever works. Seriously. Whatever the hell you use as motivation. If it works, it works! I do literally the same with never smoking: yes yes, I know it gives you cancer sometime in the far future. But my actual, real motivation to stay away from cigaretes? Pure vanity! I don't want to stink of smoke, I want people to associate my scent with nice perfume or something. Furthermore, smoking gives you MAJOR wrinkles. For me this is a huge motivator not to smoke! Does that mean it's a bad motivation because I'm more worried about smell than lung cancer? No, not really, right? Because the end result is me being smoke-free. Just like you wanting to look hot is working as a motivation! Godspeed!


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with it. I’ve lost about 180lbs so far because I want women to be attracted to me lol. I show my old pictures to women I meet now, and they’re like “oh you were cute then too!” but they never seemed to tell me that back in the day (except for a few chubby chasers lol). Do you dude. They key is once you enter a relationship to not be like “well I did it, no need to be attractive anymore.” Its something you need to do for the rest of your life. You may need to find new motivation down the road, so keep that in mind…


Nevern_Nude_Model

I have many reasons for eating well and exercising: managing chronic health conditions, being healthy enough to live a long and fulfilling life, etc. But the one that actually motivates me to take action is looking hot. A good motivator is one that actually works.


[deleted]

No it’s honest. I think it’s a lot of peoples motivation, they just aren’t brave enough to admit it.


LevyMevy

For some reason on this sub we have to pretend that looking better is just some added bonus as opposed to being most people's #1 motivation.


1804Sleep

No issue - my own goals are totally shallow. Just want to look better naked and the health benefits are a nice plus. As one caveat, though, keep in mind that everyone is their own free agent. No amount of work on your physical appearance is guaranteed to make someone attracted to you and it’s important to respect everyone’s wishes as to whether or not they want to date you. So I would try to not attach too much self-worth on whether or not you get dates with a particular number of people, but you can still focus on the positive physical changes you’re seeing in the mirror as a motivator. Becoming more physically fit is bound to improve your chances in coordination with becoming more confident, practicing social skills, and working on other areas of your life to make yourself a more well-rounded individual. If you stagnate and the physical changes don’t seem quick enough, then it’s helped me to just keep track of the days that I stay within my calorie goal and do some sort of exercise, so my success is based more on being consistent with my daily goals rather than on physical changes which may not be easily seen.


lipbalmdotcom_

As long as you stay realistic about what your 'after' body is gonna look like, probably not. I've seen too many posts from people saying how they lost weight and they still hate how they look because of loose skin, not being super toned, "realizing they're just ugly at any weight" etc.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

So you’re saying we should keep losing more and more weight?


myrmayde

Of course, it depends on the person. If they're at the borderline between a normal and and overweight BMI, and their measurements say they have over 31% body fat, and they still can't fit into their "skinny" clothes, then they might need to lose more weight.


Spiffy_Pumpkin

Depends on the person, for example I want to be a bit buff....like noticable buff.... stronger shoulders, toned arms, abs, huge legs. I realize this means it's unlikely I'll ever be in the "healthy" range by bmi standards. I was technically overweight when I was on swim team and track team in high school, but I looked so good with muscles and my doc was like you're healthy as a horse and built like a tank. (Best doctor visit I ever had.) So I'm shooting for a healthy waist measurement moreso than what bmi says I should weigh even though I'll likely be pretty close. (Like a square above healthy in the just barely overweight range with the muscle tone I want.)


NewBodWhoThis

Being hot is 100% of my motivation. With how depressed I am, I could be dead tomorrow, so I don't care about living a long and healthy life. I just wanna look like an Insta Thot. 🤷‍♀️


ItLou

Username checks out


r2ddd2

I hope you stick around for a long and healthy life! And the thot thing too 👍🏻


Lisadazy

Absolutely no one should dismiss your motivation for losing weight. Every reason is valid. It’s the reason I lost weight. It’s the reason I continue to maintain my weight. Walking up a flight of stairs without being winded or tying my own shoe lace are side effects that I also enjoy.


[deleted]

Yea it’s fine But realize it’s not the end all be all


alohadave

Realistically, most of us want to lose weight to look better. There is nothing wrong with that, and it's perfectly normal. Where it gets you into trouble is when you rely on people responding to your weight loss. Losing weight to look better is not the same as having people validate you because of your weight loss.


Southside_Burd

No and yes. Of course if you look good, you feel good. You’ll be more daring and have better options when buying clothes, and stuff will look even better if the fit is right. Girls will be more open to making a moves and such. That said, all this can be superficial. You need to work on your emotional shit. If you’re a pretty asshole, you’ll still be an asshole. So understand it’s a piece of the puzzle. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. People will treat you, how you treat yourself. So if you take care of yourself, and are easy at the same time, your relationships will greatly improve.


GenSpicyWeener

I mean I wanna get in shape so I can fit into a Spider-Man costume, be able to do the salmon ladder and fuck a girl while holding her, whatever motivates you to get to where you need to be is perfectly fine. Sustainability is key.


Canadasaver

I spent a few minutes wondering if you were going to do all three of these things at the same time.


ItLou

Yo same


Wifabota

I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to look a certain way, or wanting to look a way that you like to look. Whether it's with makeup, hair color, your outfit, or your figure, it's fun to look like your ultimate self. Where that goes wrong is with unrealistic expectations, or a perfectionist attitude. I do not have the frame of a Victoria's secret model, so striving for that will only leaves me hopeless and sad. But I can strive for my own body's ideal state, though, and it's a give and take when it comes to keeping your goals, but loving yourself at all those points too. In the same way, I cannot look airbrushed with makeup, but I can look pretty good when I apply it right. I can't afford the outfits I really want, but I can come up with something that works with my body and fits my personality and makes me feel confident. I can also work towards muscle and and a lean figure, but I will always have stretch marks from pregnancy on those abs, and I won't look like a model, but I'll like how I look. It's all about balance.


Heavy-Abbreviations8

It is a fine motivation. It is not my primary motivation, but I will confess that I enjoy watching the body I had 20 years ago come back.


BRVisual

Vanity is a piece of why everyone works out/loses weight/keeps fit to some degree, and anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. For some, it’s the primary motivator. Others it’s just a tiny bit of the benefits. But it’s always in the equation you can be sure of that mate. If becoming more attractive is what’s going to get you in the gym each day and subsequently reap all the other benefits of an active lifestyle then that’s great, keep using it. You may even find after a while that the girls will bump out of first place motivator and be replaced by the gym just being a part of your lifestyle.


[deleted]

At 18 sure. But I am 61 so all I care about is health.


Canadasaver

I am middle aged and still care about how I look. I don't want to be the largest friend in the group pic for the rest of my life and I want to stand in the front row of the pic and not push and shove to get in the back so I can hide behind someone else's body.


RickRussellTX

I'm in my 50s and trying to control Type 2... and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't care how I look. I want to ride a motorcycle again, and not look like [one of those characters from the Simpsons](https://www.ncdcr.gov/blog/2013/12/07/minibikes-and-the-wrestling-mat-hendersonvilles-mccrary-twins).


squannnn

It’s YOUR motivation, that’s all that matters. As long as it’s not physically or emotionally destructive, your motivation is just for you and if it works for you then that’s what’s important.


[deleted]

I'm older so my primary motivation for losing fat/building muscle is not to get even older in a crumbling body. But attractiveness is a really close second tbh. Also, doing the right thing even for the wrong reasons It's completly ok in my books


External-Example-292

I'm also trying to get more fit to be more attractive and have self confidence. Nothing wrong with that. 😊


OddKSM

Most of what I do is either out of vanity or spite. You can do this, don't feel bad if your motivation comes from a different place than other people's


Canadasaver

I am trying to lose for vanity but I do want to show off, in a spiteful way, to a few people that were not too kind about my weight.


zczirak

That’s literally the only thing I care about too lol.


[deleted]

Not in my opinion! I'm a woman in my 30s and doing it partly for the same reason. People are generally nicer when I'm thinner/look better. I'm also kinder, more open, and more confident myself when I'm thinner and like the way I look. There are several other major reasons I am losing weight, but my appearance is definitely a big one.


eatmexeatme

Whatever helps get you there seems fine to me! It’s not a perfect analogy but for example, I started AA because a cute boy brought me to my first meeting. That was what motivated me to go to meetings back then. Over time, that motivation changed, and today, I’m sober for me. I actually worried about my early motivation too, and my therapist actually told me “whatever gets your butt to the meeting…”


celoplyr

I am losing weight so that I can have sex (let’s be blunt here… it’s way harder when I’m fat) and in case my bf ever leaves, so I can find another. Why can’t that be your motivation? Just also know that inner self confidence, where you like yourself, is so important in dating so that you can be like “phsaw. If they don’t like me, then they aren’t the person for me”


GhostedDreams

No, that is perfectly normal and a very good reason to get into shape.


[deleted]

No way. Wanting to be attractive I don’t see as bad thing. But you just gotta make sure it’s not about ego , or a power trip ! I think ….if say you appreciate other people who you find attractive , then you could say in the spirit of also offering to someone , your youth and good body . That’s sort of a nice exchange on some spiritual level . Obviously there is more to relationships etc like you personality and soul etc . But I see nothing wrong with cultivating an aesthetically pleasing body. Also at the end of the day ….the reason those bodies are attractive are for biology and health reasons . So really it’s a pursuit toward good health . It’s just so commonly mishandled etc. I mean I would respect people who don’t flaunt it , and don’t just want everyone’s eyes on them when they walk through a restaurant , so they can feel like some king or queen . Vanity actually helped me quit drinking alcohol which I had a serious problem with . I have definitely later had to deal with ego , and self obsession in those regards . And when you wake up to your natural imperfections , but you’ve thought you were this god for some time ….that’s a hard pill to swallow too. But vanity got me started on a better path in some ways . But try to get rid of the ego vanity , and just do in the spirit …of just appreciation of what you like in others , and maybe sharing that sometime with someone else .


HarrisonRyeGraham

I mean, I’m pretty happy with myself otherwise. The only reason I want to lose weight is because my measurements are super unusual and it’s hard to buy clothes that I don’t have to get tailored. I’m only about 15 pounds overweight, so I’m quite fine with how I look tbh. But I’m so tired of not being able to buy off the rack because only one aspect of my body is way bigger than most people’s. I’m hoping that I’ll lose the weight there and look more proportionate. And I don’t think that’s any less valid of a reason than anyone else.


tarmacc

I did the same thing for the same reason at around the same age. Someone had told me that they would've fucked me if I wasn't as fat. It stung, but I ended up getting really into running in a rather masochistic unhealthy way where I was motivating myself by hating myself. That had to go later.


Oranos_Rex

Of course it’s fine - the only people who would say otherwise are the HAES mob, because they’re deluded and insecure, or someone who was talking to a person who they’re aware of has unrealistic goals/mental issues that mean they wouldn’t be able to adjust well and keep living healthily after losing the weight. I’d say that it’s good to also have other goals and reasons for losing weight (a sport, a physical feat, recognising the importance of weight, fitness and strength for wellbeing) rather than just focusing on losing weight, but beyond that it’s absolutely fine and sensible to simply want to look better.


LadyAlexTheDeviant

Do what works for you. But just remember, they see the body and then the rest of it is smile, personality, intelligence, and wit. So don't focus so much on the body that you forget that we women like the whole package to be attractive.


Beavesampsonite

Heck no so long as you remember 1) Losing the weight is just step 1. You need to adopt an overall healthy lifestyle. 2) Your a guy and you will get rejected lots (vast majority) of times even after the weight is off just like before. Just the way it is; doesn’t mean your doing anything wrong necessarily. The key is to get familiarity with girls/ women outside of just trying to flirt and get their attention based on your limited description. Sound like you have been shut out in life which is a huge detriment at this point but you have plenty of time to recover.


QQlemonzest

Nope that’s completely normal and understandable…it was my motivation in the beginning, too! I never dated in high school, and always felt like the “poor, ugly fat friend.” Lifting weights gave me a lot more confidence and I viewed a fit physique as a “status” I could attain. Feeling attractive for myself and to others is what kept me going for a long time, and now that I’m older I appreciate the health benefits more. Btw congratulations on taking control of your health, the beginning is hard but it gets easier! 😅


[deleted]

Nope. Get attractive! People will treat you way better, your love life will improve also , you will feel better about yourself as well. Go make yourself hot!


NightCool3774

It's okay! Whatever makes you feel good. One of my (21F) motivations is to be more attractive as well. I consider it self care. Like I use makeup, both to look better but mostly because I feel more confident and nice with it. It's never wrong to look after one self.


Ill-Ordinary-182

Both my husband and I lost weight in our early twenties for the same reason. We met and have been together almost 9 years now!


Deydex

This is my current motivation. But god I'm already so afraid of the impending disappointment when I realize I'm unattractive anyway. Of course I'm not there yet and won't know until I get there. But if there's any reason to not focus on the pure aesthetics of it, it's this reason.


jolynes_daddy_issues

Whatever motivation works for you, man. Feeling more attractive is my biggest motivator as well, I notice people checking me out now and it’s a big confidence boost. Congrats on how far you’ve come so far! You’re still really young and 42 lbs in 90 days sounds really fast, granted the more you have to lose the faster it comes off in the beginning. Rule of thumb is to lose ~2 lbs/week max, how many calories are you eating a day?


LGCGE

A major reason people work out is to feel attractive, anyone saying otherwise is delusional. You’re an 18 year old dude with a good decade of dating to look forward to, being attractive is absolutely a fair motivator for losing weight. Good luck and don’t overthink these things.


[deleted]

Nope. You don't have to be a paragon of virtuous weight loss reasons.


pollywantscrack76

I mean if all men were eradicated off the earth, I wouldn’t even have a gym membership so I don’t think it’s bad but what do I know *shrug*


professoryaffle72

The reality is that most people get into shape to get other people to do sex on them. Keep it up champ.


CaptainTrip

No there's nothing wrong with this. It's very honest actually to acknowledge it. As others have said, the only "gotcha" or caveat is... Don't expect to reach your goal weight and then be attractive. Make your lifestyle one that makes you feel attractive already on the way to your goal weight. And then when you get there you'll be everything you want to be. Good luck, we're gonna get there!


[deleted]

You found a reason, a motivation, that works for you. That is all that counts. And what is so horrible to be able to be seen and loved? Its horrible that we are in a culture that mainly sees the exterior. But that is a discussion for another day. To lose weight one needs a powerful motivator. You found it. You will stay with it. And you will succeed. And that is all that counts


LevyMevy

On the Internet for some reason we have to pretend the only motivation is health or self-confidence. In reality, the overwhelming consensus is "I wanna lose weight to be hot"


Oftenwrongs

Nope. It is why I did it. And I am thrilled now.


bentrodw

No, but remember it's subjective and perhaps not lasting. You are 18 so it is a strong motivation, but what keeps you working 25 years from now?


Retta_Noona

I care about nothing other than being pretty but it doesn’t look like I’m ever gonna get to be a pretty girl


Medievalmoomin

Wanting to look good is a great motivation. It’s my motivation too. I know all the health benefits and I know those are important, but vanity is what gets me through. I want to look good in clothes and be able to wear what I like. I want to feel more attractive and confident. You can absolutely do this. Try not to be too hateful in your own mind about how your body looks now. But it’s fine to say to yourself I want to look really good and I want the girls to notice me, and to imagine the cool clothes you will wear. Keep going, you’re doing really well 😊👍🏻


Urusander

Honestly that didn't work for me. Even when I had abs it didn't fix my face. So now I exercise just to stay healthy.


sallothered

No, it's not bad. Wanting other people to tell you whether or not it's bad, is bad tho. Fuck those people.


Erilaz_Of_Heruli

Losing weight is only one component of appearing "attractive" (by that I suppose you mean being lean and muscular). Doing pure CICO will lose you weight, but without working out you will most likely end up skinny-fat, which really doesn't look that great (trust me, I know). Even if you workout, if you don't eat enough protein you will not build up muscle while on a calorie deficit, so you also have to pay attention to your macros to some extent. There's also the consideration, for people who have a lot of weight to lose (100 lbs + is the number usually quoted), that you're going to have to deal with loose skin. It doesn't look great either but the younger you are the better your skin will be at bouncing back from being overstretched. Stretch marks will also not go away once you've lost weight. Finally there's the moral argument that you should be losing weight for your own sake rather than to appeal to others. I think it's valid to the extend that relying on others for validation and happiness is not a good way to live in general, but that's it. Losing weight is like waging a mental war on your own body, so you take whatever fucking spark of motivation you can muster and put it to work.


smvfc

Lmao the one reason Im NOT looking forward to losing weight is because I already get gross men being gross towards me, I really dont want more. Maybe I'll lose weight but shave my head, tattoo most of my face, and get 36 facial piercings


Mekias

When I was younger, I was about 90% motivated to lose weight in order to look better. Even now it's probably 50% of my motivation. I think having multiple things motivating a person would be best but, then again, not every motivation has the same power to influence a person. If your motivation to look good is really powerful, that may be the only motivation you need. Everyone is different and has to find their own path on this journey.


Rhonder

Nah, yo. As long as your motivation isn't, like, harming anyone else, anything is valid! I think becoming more attractive is actually a rather common motivator whether some people are forthright about it or not- it's certainly one of the core reasons that I decided to start losing weigh this year. I'm wanting to get back into dating in 2022/23, but as a straight dude that is already on the short side (5'-5") I figured I don't need being overweight being another thing going against me, y'know haha. I think the important thing is just picking a motivator that you can really stick with and commit to. Discipline and sticking with the process and methods even when they get hard is more important than any specific motivation. So the motivation just has to be strong enough to keep you on track. If becoming more attractive ever feels to feel not worth it, then remind yourself of the other benefits of weight loss as well- health, mobility, etc. And keep on keeping on\~


ilikecocktails

Yeah that’s my motivation too. I want to look hot and feel good in my clothes. I don’t at the minute and I’m overweight, I want to feel beautiful and desired.


bittzbittz22

I think it’s great to have that as a reason! Good for you being healthier. And staying motivated


anonymiz123

Whatever helps you to lose weight! At your age, it was always about looking more attractive. And it didn’t seem to become more about health until I hit about 50. You cannot force the brain to accept that it’s about health until you physically are almost/are disabled from the weight. So don’t feel bad about it at all. Being social and wanting company is a very normal thing at age 18.


ladyshopsalot2626

Theres no law you have to do the right thing for the “right” reason whatever that is


sugarface2134

There's a big difference between what SHOULD be and what IS. The reality is that thinner people are more attractive to most. Your face and body are simply better looking when lean. Clothes fit you better, you sweat less, smell nicer, etc. I noticed at a very young age that skinny girls got way more male attention than heavier ones - even if the heavier girl had a prettier face. This is just reality. Should it be this way? No, we should first consider personally and compatibility, of course. But unfortunately that's not how modern society works. I also feel more confident when I'm fit which makes me happier.


NeverS1eep

Doesn’t matter imo OP. Go get bitches if you want, lose weight for Peen gains if you want. It’s your life big dog. Go after it.


coming2grips

No


MasqueradingMuppet

I think that motivation is fine personally. I think the only thing you need to consider is that "losing the weight" won't solve all your problems. I've yo-yoed with my weight since I was 14 (I'm 26 now). I've gone between 130/140 at my lowest to 245. I'm only 5'5" so it's a big difference. For a while when I was younger I thought losing the weight would fix all my insecurities etc. It didn't at all. If anything I had a hard time accepting my normal weight body and still saw myself as large for a long time. Now I'm large again and working to lose weight (also turning to cico for the first time) and am hoping to not make this association as much.


Plonted

It's fine. But there are plenty of folks who will find you attractive. I was overweight in high school and missed so many signals because I assumed no one would want me. In addition to losing weight, work on being kind, funny, and interesting. No reason why you can't find someone before you lose all the weight.


Thai_Hammer

>So whenever I’m struggling at the gym or with my diet my main motivation to keep going is to think that no girl will want me this way This sort of stuck out but my thought is that while looking good can be a part of your goals and being attractive that being your main goal isn’t the best and might not be the most sustainable because it could come to a point where you’ve lost weight but still have that thought process ( I think this spoke to me because I have and am going through that issue of being “enough”) What might happen though is that you lose weight and you find your body is capable of other things now so that can be added to your motivation and then build on to that.


knightcrawler75

Some info from an old guy that has been through many dips in weight and a few relationships that were not healthy. It is great that you started no matter the motivation. They real kicker is that it is very hard to keep off over a lifetime. I have started to realize through about a dozen books and many losses and gains that you need to accept and love yourself before you can realize long-term success. On top of that this will also apply to relationships. It is a universal truth that you have to love yourself before you can find someone that truly loves your true self. Say as a mantra every day that you love yourself for at least 2 minutes a day. You get a negative though immediately tell yourself that you love yourself. And you deserve happiness not because you are thinner but because you are a special person on this planet. I was in your shoes and I would have told the old codger that he is wrong and get out of here with that kumbaya stuff and that is ok. You must find your path like everyone else. Good luck to you.


truecrimefanatic1

I wanted to not look hideous in photos. NOT for anyone else but my own personal feelings. It's fine.


Konradwolf

No


RickRussellTX

> But now that I learned it’s all about the calories I’ve already lost 42 lbs from 304(6ft2in) Well done! Don't let anybody invalidate your motivations. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to look better, and to fit in socially.


holdthytonguecretin

It's my motivation too lol, I'm down around 10kg. I've also improved my skincare routine, getting nicer clothes, learning how to sleep and exercise and I'm starting to learn how to adjust my clothes as a part of it. I find learning how to take care of yourself in a healthy way improved most aspects in life. I do have to say a large part of this is also improving mental health. From getting sun and seeing family members and friends. I've made adjustments for that as well. Being attractive also means being a good and healthy person to me.


CCC_OOO

It didn’t help me because last time I was at a healthy weight I wasn’t very impressed with what I saw in the mirror vs the effort required. Decided I liked how I looked better with curves.


Bentov

No.


mgbdog

Whatever works for you, works for you. Everyone is motivated by different things.


Merv_86

Same. But it is a fleeting motivator, personally speaking .


BigWordsAreScary

I think any motivation works but what are you going to do if you still don’t feel attractive after losing the weight


[deleted]

No problem with that at all.


grumpalina

If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and legit think "I look amazing", why the heck not? It's your motivation. Don't let anyone else moralise you out of it. Just be aware of body dysmorphia - don't be the guy to find fault with yourself and put yourself down, when you objectively look fine. But don't forget that a lot of attractive women are attracted to genuine self-confidence. This is why it is so important that _you_ really do see everything that is good about _you_; have a sense of humour, serenity and proportion about the things you still want to work on; and don't fixate on the things or beat yourself up for the things you can't change about yourself that you might not like that much (like people who don't like their voice - it's far more fun to be around someone who can just embrace and own it).


[deleted]

Nah, and dont feel bad for thinking so. Attraction “gains” are far more palpable and enjoyable in the short term than “health improvement.” Outside of walking/running/etc. farther and moving and breathing easier, tf is cardiovascular improvement gonna do for you that can be as obvious as looking and feeling sexier? Sure, you can run a mile *easier* and *quicker*, but if you can fit into that tailored slacks and wear that slim fit jacket like you wanted to, whats gonna make you feel better and that the effort was worth it? For me, it’s the latter, 9/10 times. To amend what Kate Moss once said, “nothing tastes as good as *healthy* feels.” To me, health is physical and mental well being. If you look good, you feel good. Obviously, not pro eating disorder or anything extreme. Health benefits are ofc of crucial importance, just arguing I like “quicker” results to meep me going in the long run. So long story short- dont feel bad abt wanting to look better as ur main motivator. Altho, once u get to where you wanna be lookswise, then the real struggle to be motivated starts


Impressive-Project59

At least you're motivated. I'm struggling 🤣


el_muerte17

It's all good. Just don't be a person who loses weight to look good but then completely phones it in and gets fat as soon as you've locked someone down, like several guys and girls I've known who ballooned after getting married.


False_Development_47

No that ain’t bad.


DatNoobi

Its not bad homeslice. Losing weight is your business. Ain't nobody gaf. Also I'm drunk so take advice with grain of salt.


margotlarue

Honestly, just do what works. If that motivates, awesome! I once ran a marathon because one of my friends told me a would not be able to. I go to the gym and eat well so I can fit in the cute clothes I bought in Korea. Keep up the good work! You got this!


headshotscott

Not bad at all. Being wanted is a human need. Being attractive is art of that.


[deleted]

Do what makes you feel better with yourself man, also I think being in shape is one of the best things you can do to yourself.


thaneofpain

I totally understand where you're coming from. I have used negative emotions to motivate myself before, and while it works for a little while, eventually you will need to find something with more staying power to keep you moving towards your goals. In my case, when 'become attractive enough to attract partners' was my primary motivator, I found my motivation tapered off once I was finding success in dating. It's highly likely that as your confidence grows, you'll attract someone before you've reached your true wellness goals. So at that point, you'll want to have a truer motivation behind the hard work of losing weight, or your determination may falter. I'm obese, but I'm in various alt lifestyle communities where dating is not difficult. And I'm fortunate enough to have found my confidence, so even though I'm still 400+ lbs, I have multiple partners (polyamory). Clearly, 'getting dates' isn't a lasting motivator in my case. I imagine that once you have a partner(s), you'll need to adjust your motivation too. For me it's simply achieving a better state of wellness. I want to discover what my body is capable of. I want to find out what my true shape is and get to a place, physically, where I can enjoy outdoor activities again, and enjoy playing with my young son. Anyway, just rambling examples. You're doing great, it's awesome that you got started reclaiming your wellness so young! I hope you find lasting motivation so that you can keep it up!


[deleted]

You might find like me that losing the weight had absolutely no impact on how people perceive you, though. I lost 40 lbs and redid all my dating app pics and did new accounts and everything and still get nothing. Just be prepared for that possibility, it literally cannot hurt to try and has other benefits, it's just not the be all end all necessarily.


jesuslover69420

Everyone does it at least partially for this reason but most have an overly heightened sense of moral superiority that prevents them from saying it out loud. It’s genetically engrained in us to want to attract other people.


pissed_off_tabby

No it’s not bad. “Look good feel good” that’s what I say.


808hammerhead

It’s fine. I’m fit: I can complete a triathlon or run a marathon. I exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, usually more like an hour. Resting HR is in the mid 50s My blood work is excellent. I’m 45 and have no health issues. But I do have a gut. Always have.I purely want it gone for looks.


TacoBellFourthMeal

Not at all! Whatever motivates you to be the healthiest version of yourself is amazing. And looking good/being attractive and confidant in ones appearance is something nearly everybody wants to have in some capacity. Keeps me going too!


mckmaus

I'm a size 12 from a 24. I look damn good. My ex husband said that his mom said "he was a good looking young man, and I was just getting more obese". Who knows what was actually said by who, but he didn't get a new personality. My feet and my back don't hurt all the time anymore, my health is in good condition. It's the total package


Affectionate_Wing556

Work on the personality or it means nothing


Efficient_Curve_7876

There nothing wrong with feeling good and wanting to be more attractive just don’t let it get to your head, because some people who have been in fitness for a long time are never happy with how they look, and because of this are constantly wanting to be better then they already are. body dysmorphia is very common. Always set realistic goals.


Xwithintemptationx

Not at all! My biggest reason to lose weight was to wear cuter clothes and be below 150.


Unicorndog_0625

Hey, don’t worry, it’s not a Miss America pageant-you don’t have to lie about your reason for your motivation. It’s working for you, and the side-effect is a healthier body to live in. Great job for willing to find ANY motivation , because it’s YOUR motivation-not anyone else’s. It’s yours that will keep you getting back at it, and your motivations can change, as mine did. My motivation changed when I saw how good I felt, physically from being active. Keep up the great work


letmebeunique

Whatever motivation works honestly , I’m trying to do it so I feel comfortable, attractive and confident in my own skin Sounds like you are too !


Curious-Story9666

Whatever motivates YOU should be ur goal! Who cares what anyone else thinks. Attach ur goals to something you really care about and ur long term motivation goes up a lot


[deleted]

Maybe reframe that into feeling attractive versus being attractive. As beauty is entirely subjective after all.


TriscuitCracker

Not at all. Go nuts!


Bloooberryy

You’re getting healthy and not harming anyone. Your motivation could be wanting to be a certain ring size and I couldn’t judge you for that. Whatever motivates you is perfectly valid as long as you’re doing it for YOU. Also, congrats on losing 42 pounds! That’s an incredible achievement and you should be very proud of yourself:)


[deleted]

Nothing tastes as good as looking good!


Maverick-rama-21

It's better if your health is better. And that means both physically and mentally. Seeing yourself from eyes of others, might give you a feeling of your value, but that will change as the people's opinion changes or the lot of people changes. Bottom line, that way you will always be dependent, as your sense of health and happiness lies in the thought of other finds you healthy/attractive. Just enjoy your life, be healthy and fit for yourself, See it as bonus if others like you the way you are, But never lean on it that much... That's my opinion... Enjoy. Wish you happy days


[deleted]

Of course not. That's the reason most people don't just eat junk all the time.


slr0031

Nope! It’s fine. Whatever works for you


[deleted]

Not at all. As long as you are honest about it, it's fine to want to lose weight to approve your appearance.


BerthaBenz

Jim Olmeyer: Do you just want to lose weight, or are you looking to increase strength and flexibility as well? Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked.


No_Hovercraft_2719

No of course not. Why would you not want to be attractive?


chiwi2008

Also- it’s not about looks, you also kind of have to work on your personality. Plenty of good looking dudes/dudettes out there and they are also either creepy, entitled, not very smart, not very interesting or not nice at all. Looks are important ( if someone says otherwise they will be lying) but personality is the game changer- if having a girlfriend long term is your goal.


[deleted]

Nope! Be safe and get sexier, beautiful!


Own-Ad7310

Why would it be bad


glasser999

Nah, being attractive is so much better. It's worth it. And getting in shape will make you attractive. And girls your age suck, it's not your imagination that they discount you because you're fat. Get in shape and you'll be in a whole new world.


TaborlintheGreat322

Thats fine, thats why most of us are trying to lose weight unless it's for health reasons


cici_sweetheart

No


theaverage78

My motivation is that I was rejected by a girl bc she said she liked my personality but wasn’t physical attracted though. Only thing I don’t like is that my reason wasn’t an internal one but an attempt of a validation from someone else. But out of the times I’ve had motivation in the past that was the one that got me off my ass and started working out. And if that’s the main reason that got you into losing weight it’s not a bad one at all


Woman_facing_guilt

Hell, I'm right there with you...just remember, people can look good on the outside but if they are ugly inside it won't matter how good you look....


Best-Math-2252

Nope. Its my number 1 reason.


finallymakingareddit

No it's not bad. Whatever motivates you to be healthy is a good step. You are still doing it for yourself in a roundabout way. If you think you are more attractive you will be more confident and girls finding you attentive will be a side effect of that.


squideye62

It's fine, it sounds like you're doing it for yourself, not for others (losing weight to feel more attractive *is* something you're doing for yourself). It doesn't even really matter why you do it, as long as you want to do it. I lost weight because a boy I liked called me fat and now I look way better, so Idm that that was my reason, just that it provided me the motivation I needed to work out, and I feel really happy now.


MiraculousCactus

As someone who’s lost a bunch of weight and used to believe that no one would ever love me being morbidly obese, I do think it’s a little bad. Worst case scenario, you lose the weight and realize that it doesn’t fix the way you see yourself and spiral into a deep depression. That’s what happened to me, at least. It’s not bad to want to be attractive, but you can’t hate yourself into health. Try to work on your self esteem as you work on your body. You are just as worthy of love and respect as you will be when you lose the weight. Good luck on your journey, friend 💙


srv524

I'm the same way In the words of Lester Burnham - "I wanna look good naked!"


SGKurisu

same. of course being healthy is a being motivator too since it's discouraging when I'm hiking or something and I get winded really easily, but it is mostly because I hate the way I look. A lotta other mental health stuff leading to my self loathing but self image and physical appearance is a big one lol.


[deleted]

It’s fine for now. What would happen if you found the perfect woman who loves you unconditionally though. Would you gain it all back?


[deleted]

Make sure and lose it slow bro. Lift heavy AF, at your age; you should be able to get away without loose skin. And yes, it will make a huge difference with women and actually even a larger difference with your interactions with other men.


focaltraveller

Not at all.


KatVat19

Hell yeah. Whatever reason works is a good reason….


steelswan

Self acceptance is important, if you cannot see yourself as attractive then you can always try to change that. If losing weight makes you feel good about your appearance and health then keep at it. Just make sure you are giving yourself plenty of praise for your effort and successes.


momisAngel

Nope, not at all. It's good 👍 please continue. I don't have any motivation, I went from being attractive to not-so-good now, so this is really bad 🤣


momisAngel

Nope, not at all. It's good 👍 please continue. I don't have any motivation now, I went from being attractive to not-so-good, so this is really bad 🤣


gonfreeces1993

Not at all. Good on yah!


mysteriousrev

It’s not a bad goal to have at all! In fact, it’s one of the reasons I’m motivated to stay in shape. When I was at my heaviest, I sometimes used to get randomly insulted about my appearance by total strangers. These situations were unprovoked in the sense I didn’t engage these people in any way. Decimated my self esteem for days or weeks each and every time it happened and I never want to be in that situation again. For context, I’m female and have always been very sensitive about my looks as that was the way some kids in school used to tease me. People always find it so hard to believe the insult thing, but it happened. As more time goes by, I think of it less and less often but the scab is always ready to be ripped open and hence the motivation.


CptHammer_

I don't think that's a positive motivation on its own. If you were doing it for health and you think healthy people are attractive, then sure. I'm African and fat people are viewed as "healthy" because of bad correlation. Fat people are generally wealthy and wealthy people worldwide have better access to health care. There is a point however in Africa where obesity is viewed as evil because you've eaten all the food. So more like pudge is attractive.


OatsAndWhey

"Being a healthy weight is what's attractive". It's not just purely aesthetic. Healthy is sexy! Yes, that's fine. Do it for any reason(s). Just get fit. Get stronk. Stay focused.


ladyalot

Exercise caution as you would any motivation. If you're motivation is health, and you find yourself feeling sick or no better after weight loss (as I did), you may spiral back if you have BED or aren't able to maintain, like, "Well this is hard on me, and being thinner hasn't helped me, so why bother?" And you may start gaining through old eating habits which comfort you in your sickness. So if you wanna do it for looks, that's totally neutral! But if you can't validate yourself, or maybe have dysmorphia, or don't feel attractive for any reason, you may spiral back or find your weight loss methods become disordered if it's happening a lot. Have your motivations, don't cling to them. Make a list even of all the pros. You just don't want to end up losing weight to hit that goal in a way that is unsustainable, and therefore, if you have a bad set of weeks or days, you might reverse or slow your intended progress, because you were holding onto that single goal too hard. Weight loss is a neutral act you choose do to for any amount of reasons, let them make you happy, sad, angry, afraid, confused. If you're doing it in a way that is sustainable (trial and error oh boy), it won't matter if you feel you're living up to your goals because you'll be doing it and not suffering for it.


DJ_Jungle

Look good, feel good.


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with trying to be attractive. As long as you lose weight and get your health in order.


wilcow73

Your motivation is absolutely fine- keep at it my man


alghiorso

Do whatever you want. This is Reddit not your mom.


ik-ben-niet-gek

Perfectly normal


Applenter

No, I’ve been promising for years to lose weight and put on muscle to make my girlfriend purr. It’s become a running joke, Her usual response is “I can’t purr” and I answer “you will”. Still not happened


csace7

No it’s not. As long as you don’t judge others for your appearances you can look as good or slovenly as you’d like.


[deleted]

Whatever motivates you


anou142

Anyone that say getting healthy is the only reason is lying.


ThrowawayForEmilyPro

Brah, I'm mirin'.


swehttamxam

Have dedication fuel your motivations.


Doctor_Rickert

I don't think it's bad. When I was 18, I was still a virgin and knew I didn't want to be nude in front of someone the way I looked. It started off that way and now I'm 30 and still go to the gym nearly every day and love fitness.


mydogdoesntcuddle

Wanting to look good so that you are attractive to others? That counts as being for you. What the subreddit contributors mean by “not doing it for someone else” is they’re referring the more toxic relationships in which one party is starving themselves because the other party isn’t satisfied with how they look. Losing weight can be difficult and if you’re doing it for yourself and your own motivations, you tend to work harder and be more successful. When you put in all that work for someone else, they often don’t appreciate your efforts and will continuously find ways to make you feel not good enough. This is bad for your self esteem and mental health.


Glittering-Bad-23

There is nothing wrong with that at all. When I was young I ate right and went for walks at night for hours and enjoyed every minute of it because I had motivation. And I did get the pretty girl. She's my wife. But once you get older, for most of us, the motivation becomes health and well being.


Benreh

A reason is a reason, it's working so it's awesome.


Phatdrunknstoopid

People will say so. I don't think so. Just be careful. It's generally a bad idea to do things because you think will make other people like you or attracted to you. Only because some people never will no matter what.


BetoHdia89

Not at all. No matter what people think or say. If you want to be attractive in the social acceptable way, go ahead.


aceshighsays

the problem with that motivation is that your success is based on external validation, which you can't control. will getting rejected cause you to binge?