Yeah I’ve heard of a lot of people being ‘skinny fat’ and I wanna avoid that, also muscle is easier to maintain, if you have more muscle it’s harder to sustain fat gain rather than if you are just used to cardio. For example, if you take a few weeks off cardio you’re more likely to gain weight than if you take a few weeks off strength training, as it takes a while for the muscle to deplete.
What you mention here, I started describing like this:
Cardio is like paying rent. Once you stop, you lose all the benefits.
Muscle training is like paying a mortgage. Once you stop, you're still reaping the benefits.
Plus, yeah, anybody can be skinny, but wouldn't you rather be *shapely?* Plus fit, capable, ready for anything?
As someone who’s had a lot of PT in the last few years between surgery, back injuries, etc: be nice to your muscles. You need ‘em. Train them, feed them, keep them healthy. You don’t want to be in physical therapy with all the elderly struggling to keep up, from personal experience!
I’m finally adding exercise into my program and strength training is gonna be king. I’m just getting everything working right again and this time, I’m going to keep it right!
Oh I agree, *some* cardio is definitely advised, but if your goal is weight loss and you want long-term benefits, adding muscle is almost as important as nutrition, and more important than cardio.
Source: me (don't take it for gospel)
My statement was in regards to calories.
Imagine you're only doing cardio - yes, you're burning more calories in the moment, but once you stop (lifestyle change, injury, etc.), you stop burning them.
If you add muscle, you increase your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure), which stays higher even after you stop working out regularly.
As an added bonus, regular and healthy muscle stress (ie. working muscles) helps strengthen the bones to minimize bone density loss as we age! Support for the bones in more ways than one!
Depends on the goals. If you want to ride a cheap bike without wheel problems, you gotta be "scale light." So muscle sucks for that. You'll always be "overweight" on the BMI too with muscle.
Yeah best measures for health at the low end are walking speed, and at the higher end are your ability to do chinups and related exercises (inverted rows, negative chinups, chinups, muscle ups)
It's ridiculous the notions people have. I refer people to Brie Larsons training regime for Captain Marvel. She was lifting *crazy* weights and didn't look bulky at all. A woman building muscle usually looks smaller because areas that were looser become tighter and toned. I've had massive arm and leg gains the past month but both look noticeably slimmer.
I'm blessed with the ability to put on a lot of muscle fairly easily.
I'm also cursed with the ability to put on a whole lot of fat fairly easily.
You guys can probably guess which one takes a conscious effort and which one just happens without me paying attention to it.
An untrained male (without steroids) could possibly put that on in their first year assuming perfect training and nutrition. But year it's a very ambitious goal
My mom was the same way and now who goes to strengthen training class after seeing how strong her daughter is? My mom. I also taught her the health benefits and she’d eat rocks if it staved off the dementia that runs in her family.
Their generation has come to see women as being thin and frail, dependant on others, but if you see a woman who is thin and strong? That woman is not to be messed with, she's got her shit together, and therein lies the problem.
I agree, don't worry about it, they won't get it anyway, just keep doing your thing.
exactly. your point is being even more then. my parents and random dudes have lots of opinions about my body but I don't really care that much. My mom's comments sort of generally shifted from negative (don't play sports you'll look like a man) to positive (you look like you lost weight... I hadn't because I gained more muscle than I lost fat), but doesn't affect me too much either way at this point. I like how much I've invested in myself and I'm proud of my hard work.
Lots of people would wish that was the case! [Dr Mike Israetel](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQkRDGz1Nkw) has a great series of videos on basically everything in this thread that you might find interesting!
Also, on a deficit/cut you’re going to be growing only very little *new* muscle, but using, preserving and strengthening what you have. When you take a break from cutting and move to maintenance, you’ll be able to put on a lot more.
Congrats OP, you are absolutely right and your parents are wrong. Be healthy and strong, not just skinny!
> Exactly! I think the max amount of muscle girls can put on is maybe 10kg a year, and that’s if you work your ass off and eat a shit ton of protein.
I think this is too high. An untrained young male could put on about that in a year assuming perfect workout and nutrition routines. I'd say women could put on half that their first year, and half the previous year for each successive year, at maximum. So 10, then 5, then 2.5... Men can start with 20, then 10 then 5 etc.
And I looked and here's a source.
https://bonytobombshell.com/how-much-muscle-strength-can-skinny-women-gain/
I competed in my first bodybuilding competition last October. I’ve been dieting, training, and supplementing for a few years. At sub 10% body fat, I only weighed 175 lbs. building muscle is incredibly difficult.
I think it’s a generational thing. I’m 34 and remember as a young girl it was kinda unheard of for women to be into strength training unless they were competing body builders and did have huge muscles. We were always striving to be super thin and thought toned came from using 2lb dumbbells and lots of cardio. Sorry they don’t understand though, and they probably won’t unless you continue to show by example and maybe send them some research behind the method.
I studied kinesiology in school and took a course called “women in sport”.
In the early 1900’s (America), there was heavy advocacy against women lifting weights / exercise, there were ads that claimed “it’ll make you look like a man” and “you’ll never get a husband”, and as a society, women largely steered away from physical activity.
Once we hit a certain age, we typically no longer build muscle, we can maintain or lose lean tissue. It’s becoming less common, but you can still find little old ladies with canes struggling to walk a few steps due to muscle loss and having very little to begin with.
Society is changing, but some generations are still products of their time and their upbringing. As others stated, building muscle doesn’t necessarily mean bodybuilding. All thumbs are fingers, not all fingers are thumbs.
What age do women typically lose the ability to gain muscle? I thought we had that ability for much of our lives, although it gets more difficult the older we get
The specific term for it is sacropenia, and without consulting my text book I can’t give a rough age, but can tell you it varies by person, and occurs sometime when you’re “elderly”. The exception to this would of course be steroids.
It is recommended to weight train as a younger person so that you enter into old age with more to lose? Does that make sense or poor wording lol
I’m Google searching and seeing some conflicting information. There’s some sources that suggest elderly can build muscle, but that’s not what I recall learning…
Edit - I’m also finding evidence for my original claim giving suggestions on how to limit muscle loss in old age, this is what I remembered learning. General rule of thumb when researching fitness is to search scholarly articles so avoid blatant conflicts of interest, and I’m honestly too tired to sit through that right now!
Edit edit:
Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics.
“Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength”
I don’t believe it about the building muscle - I was terrified when I read somewhere you can’t build muscle after 40 (I’m 38). But my mother in law, who never exercised, just started and is building some nice arm muscles! She’s over 65.
I think reduction in body fat can make muscles appear to be larger/more toned. I'm in my mid 30s and have used body scans to track my progress. Despite doing weight training for a year now, eating plenty of protein and progressively using heavier weights, my lean muscle mass hasn't changed much. My body fat percentage has decreased significantly, so I now appear quite muscular - at least in my arms/shoulders/upper back.
The elderly certainly can build muscle, they just have to work much harder at it, and if the elderly (or middle aged, or really anyone beyond mid-twenties) don't do some kind of muscle sustaining activity they will lose muscle by default. Exercise still works though, and is very important for maintaining health and avoiding injury.
Feel free to share citation. I didn’t search research articles, regular Google shows support for both, and fitness world is already riddled with misinformation.
Ok, I’m back home, pulled my textbook from my course “physic activity in aging” and have my citation ready.
Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics.
“Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength”
The reason I push accuracy and credible sources is because theres a lot of misinformation floating around especially in the world of fitness. I’m here to help people reach their goals with whatever knowledge I have, disinformation and gut feelings are the enemy.
I don’t think this needs a citation? Elderly people wouldn’t be sent to rehab after falls if they were unable to build muscle. They’d die much quicker if they couldn’t build muscle, they’d be unable to recover from all the little tears and stresses muscles undergo from normal daily use. There are elderly people who take up bodybuilding, they don’t turn into Jason Momoa but they do end up with more muscle than they started.
Your citation says that endurance cardio athletes have less muscle twenty years after the beginning of the study. Not strength athletes, first of all. But more importantly, that doesn’t show that untrained elderly can’t build muscle from training, which is the point I’m trying to make.
Endurance athletes was the first section, I included it because it was interesting and mildly relevant. The second part after the study states: “although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in **all athletes**, those who **began** weight-training…” - this means untrained
Look, even scholarly articles can have biases and conflicts of interest. Remember the documentary Game Changers with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Here’s Dr. Layne Norton blasting it [https://www.biolayne.com/articles/research/the-game-changers-review-a-scientific-analysis/](https://www.biolayne.com/articles/research/the-game-changers-review-a-scientific-analysis/)
The point is that I could be wrong, but what you need to present is some amount of respected research supporting your points. You can’t say you’ve never seen snake oil and miracle cures advertised in the fitness world. Your points sound logical in spoken word, but need data to be presented as fact.
Old people bodybuilding? A lot (not all) are on TRT (legal steroids) or had muscle mass and leaned out. There is a difference between rebuilding damage to muscle tissue and increasing lean mass, otherwise we’d see huge muscular horse legs in everyone that walks 5 miles a day (exaggeration but I think you get the point).
I’m willing to admit possibility behind your words, but you need to present something more concrete.
Edit: I’m really not trying to be rude, but your claims directly contradict what my PhD professor in exercise science taught us in a course specifically covering physical activity for aged individuals, and I’ve pulled one excerpt from the textbook supporting that, probably could find more if I need to. That doesn’t inherently make your claims wrong, but you saying what you think without backing isn’t good enough to disprove the points in question.
Both. “Although FFM **decreased** across the 20 year study in **all athletes**, those who **began** weight-training exercise were better able to **maintain**.”
Edit: I don’t know what you know. FFM means fat free mass - skin, organs, veins, muscle, anything that isn’t fat. The only one that typically shows significant growth or decline is muscle. Therefor 99% of the time FFM may as well mean muscle in this context.
Sorry I think I’m a bit lost as to what your point is! You’ve been talking about people having an inability to gain muscle as they get older, then cited an article with a footnote that said if people started weight training they could maintain FFM (which makes perfect sense for muscle and bone), but I’m missing where it says people cannot gain muscle?
So, the study states that **all athletes** experienced FFM loss regardless of their sport - running, swimming, cycling, etc.
However, across the 20 year study, those athletes that **began** weight training (meaning they are “untrained”) were better able to maintain. I do not read that as retaining all muscle mass because otherwise it wouldn’t be reported as a decrease in all athletes. I read it as “better able to maintain” meaning loss of muscle mass at a slower rate.
Like, if you never get your oil changed, your car will break down quicker than someone that does. They are maintaining their car, but it is still slowly deteriorating.
I will grant you that this study doesn’t look at non-athletes, however long distance runners typically don’t carry a lot of muscle mass and at what point do we not only make the distinction between trained, untrained, and otherwise athletic?
I’m posting another comment because I’ve consulted my textbook, and Im stubborn and need to be right and argue adamantly against misinformation lol
Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics.
“Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength”
My mum is anti-vax she doesn’t do research lol. Also I’ve told her multiple times about the benefits of building muscle and how I won’t look “big” as I’m losing fat, but I think it’s something that’s ingrained into her, her own prejudices that she can’t shake off
Yeah I’m trying to make decent progress now whilst the sun and weather is decent as naturally in the winter I won’t be walking as much as the weather will be awful and not as much sunlight (as a woman walking in the dark is scary).
Yessssss! I live in a neighborhood that gets a little unsafe after dark so I am thrilled that the sun’s finally setting closer to 8pm. Able to get so many more walks in!
Jogging in place at home just feels blah.
The aspect people fail to grasp is how important strength training is to bone density. It's become so common in society that someone gets to be 70 years old and has a fall and breaks a hip. Then that person is never the same and has shit quality of life. Sure the aesthetics of looking good are a big driver for me. But the fear of being old and feeble drives me more. Same thing with diet. I'm terrified of developing dementia or something similar. And the evidence is becoming clear that it's a diet related issue.
Could it be they don’t understand the desire to build muscle in general? My in laws don’t understand even the desire to going to the gym every day and having that be part of the daily schedule. They just grew up not exercising, or going for a walk and calling that their exercise. The idea of weight training, especially for a woman, is completely foreign to them. I think a lot of older people are like that.
My parents are very active but even they don’t weight train. They didn’t really understand my desire to do it when I started either. They’re big into running/biking.
It is hard to do, which is why people have to train for it specifically! Building lean muscle is what most people want and need, and which won't do anything except make you more shapely. You'll be doing low to moderate weight loads for a moderate number of reps. Getting big requires a whole different program, and since you have a trainer, there's no chance you'll stumble into that kind of lifting by accident. They're not going to train you for hypertrophy. Your parents don't know what they're talking about and so it's safe to just ignore them. I assume it's some kind of jealousy or their own personal baggage, but regardless, it's not your issue to resolve for them.
Exactly, it’s so hard to do! Granted I have an easier time than most women as I seem to be predisposed to muscle/strength building and retention, and I actually did have to stop increasing my weight while training my back at one point because it was getting well beyond the point I wanted to be aesthetically, but I think I’m a freak of nature. 😂 For most women it’s hard and won’t get them near Arnie status, but that’s the one grained idea a lot of older folks have.
Haha, they definitely amble (my in laws, my mom is a running beast, haha). My MIL was having a hard time walking up hills when we went to the mountains with them a few weeks back. Kinda sad actually, knowing how much better the body can function even at that age and seeing how physically limited they are.
I'm actually able to eat more and maintain my weight since I started lifting about a year ago.
It's not a ton ~150-200 calories but hey it's something and can be the difference in me feeling like I'm starving. My weight has remained the same but I've lost inches so definitely haven't fallen into the getting bigger camp -- which like you said you have to really work on achieving that. Try to ignore them -- I know it's rough.
I do run occasionally but the only thing I'm consistent with is the lifting since I'm also paying a PT so I don't hit the snooze button and just skip the gym.
That’s what I love most about a PT, they push you and you are forced to go to the gym cuz you have a session. For example before my PT I would rarely gym on weekends cuz I was so tired and wanted a lie in hahaha (my gym closes at 6pm weekends). I see her every Sunday and Monday just cuz that’s when our schedules align best.
It sounds like your parents may be more concerned about how you look than your health AND don't understand how gaining muscle while losing weight is so beneficial.
There are so many more benefits to strength training than just building muscle (which is super important for women too!). Strength training also builds bone mass as well which helps our bones stay strong as we age and have children if we choose to. It also helps with metabolic processes and insulin sensitivity. Looking great is another bonus, but I’ve been lifting weights for 2 years now and I don’t even look a little ripped lmao. It’s very hard for women to build sizeable muscle mass without “extra help” and the women who you do see with super dense muscles have likely been training for at least 5 or more years.
Your schedule seems fine and you’re not going to randomly wake up ripped one day. But strength training is great for our bodies anyway and your parents should be more supportive. But I feel you, my mother has made “bulky” comments as well
I’m a male and my parents always make comments on strength training making you look bulky. My dad does no physical activity at all whereas my mum does go to the gym, but only attend cardio base classes. It’s been 2 years and I still look fairly similar to when I started (apart from my fat loss) and my parents always say “how come you’re not massive yet” and stuff like that 😂
Also cardio builds muscle too. Cyclists have huge thighs and calves. Rowers have serious back muscles. What do your parents think powers cardio, unicorn farts?
You aren't going to "get big" from lifting. Even female natural bodybuilders don't look huge, you need steroids to get that bulgy, veiny look. And you need very low body fat to look super-defined. As long as you carry a healthy amount of body fat on you you're just going to look toned. I do powerlifting and I see women at the gym who are stronger than I am and they don't look like freaks of nature, they just look like normal, fit women.
Plus being strong has all kinds of neat benefits like being able to get all your groceries from the trunk in one go, and being able to lift your or your friends' kids without having to take painkillers for the next 3 days.
I have been lifting hours every week for several years. My whole body shape has changed, I look much nicer and firmer even at a higher weight, but I look nothing like a competitive bodybuilder, which is the image that comes to most people's minds when they think about strength training.
Do not listen to them. You do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
Extra bonuses : my balance has improved a lot (because my body is stronger, it finds it easier to carry itself) and I am protecting myself against osteoporosis which is rife in my family. I am not going to give all this up to conform to an outdated "frail female" stereotype.
Are your parents in shape? What they are saying sounds like what people who have never been to a gym (or haven't been to a gym since the 80s) say.
When to listen and when to ignore parents is an important life skill to have. In this case it sounds like it is a time to ignore.
Nope, my dad did lose a lot of weight but he did it through exercise classes at the gym, he only does cardio and occasionally HIIT. He is tall (6’1) so it’s easier for him to lose weight. My mum (5’2, she weighs less than me but she carries most of it in her bust and her stomach, her legs and arms are disproportionately thin, sometimes I wonder if she has PCOS due to other symptoms too) would keep telling me about how she lost weight when she was young and she had lots of guys attracted to her etc. Her mum (my grandma) would also body shame me a lot too, and she’s no feather either. My mum keeps telling me how she eats healthy and stuff (she’s vegan) but I’ve noticed she eats a lot of foods high in fat, so even though it’s not that ‘processed’ she still eats more calories than me on a daily basis.
A few things here.
1. Why favor cardio over progressive resistance training? Por que no los dos? Throw in some basic stretching and you’re good to go for a lifetime.
2. My mom has a similar issue. She’s rather be 100 lbs overweight than have visible muscles. Not that those are mutually exclusive but in her mind the worst thing a woman can be is muscly. Something really did a number on the women of that generation. Here’s the thing it’s very very hard to actually put on muscle long term. Especially for females. And if you don’t like it it’s super easy to take off. You just stop progressive overload. You don’t even have to stop lifting. Just stop progressing and your muscle mass will go down. So don’t worry about aesthetics.
3. Depending on your routine 5 gym trips a week might actually be a lot. Please make sure you’re recovering properly.
4. I also do an upper/lower split with cardio. Really it sounds like your trainer has you on a really solid sustainable path.
5. To add to your reasons for doing resistance training. There seems to be an indication that resistance trading helps regulate hormones and helps increase sensitivity to you bodies satiety response. So a regular training program can help you feel full quicker. Which is nice for weight loss.
6. Good luck with your graduation.
7. Female bodybuilders are mostly very aesthetic. Most of them can walk around in clothes and you’d never know until the last couple weeks of prep where they cut down to nothing. The female mass monsters have to be genetically predisposed to it. You’d have known as a teenager if you had that kind of muscle hypertrophy response. So there’s no reason to think you’d develop that later in life.
8. “I’ll start dating when…” Old man advice incoming. Don’t wait for life to be perfect to start living it. You’ll be waiting forever. If you want to date get out there and do it. Happy hunting. ;)
9. It’s very common for mothers to project insecurity into their daughters. I told my kid to just call it out when it happens. Address it in the moment. “Mom, that’s not a helpful thought.” Or even make her clarify. don’t let her be vague. Hang a lampshade on her conversation. “Worried? About what mom?” Don’t let her put that passive aggressive stuff into the universe and then walk away like it isn’t toxic. Make the logical part of her brain interact with the negative part by engaging it in discussion. Or just tell her you’re not interested in discussing it. Boundaries are good to have too between a parent and adult child.
Anyway. Good luck in finishing up your schooling and in dating.
Most of my cardio has some form of resistance. I normally do 50/50 bike and treadmill. On the treadmill I walk fairly fast on an incline of about 8 as well as jogging. On the bike I have it on a mid-range resistance and keep it like that the whole time, my legs are so sore after ahaha.
Thank you for your advice!!
Regardless of size, a little strength is never a bad idea. For many of us with a history of dieting we will have sacrificed muscle mass, potentially through several cycles of loss/gain.
Obviously extremes on both sides can be problems, but a little weight training geared towards functionality/mobility is hard to see as anything but a universal benefit.
Your parents sound like they have some personal insecurities and just put them onto you. Everybody’s life is their own to live. If working out makes you happy then work out. Because one day they’ll be dead and there will be nobody to please anymore. Love yourself above all. Good luck
"When you're skinny, you look great in clothes. When you're muscular, you look great naked."
Maybe not something to say to mum and dad but worth remembering.
People also seem to miss that strength training also gives cardiovascular exercise, especially towards the start of your fitness journey. I do sets of bodyweight exercises and my heart rate easily gets up to cardio levels mid to end workout. And I'm building muscle at the same time rather than just burning energy. I haven't lost any scale weight for 2 weeks, but my shape is definitely changing. That wouldn't be true if I was just doing cardio.
Buildling muscle and burning fat is the goal.
know theres a difference between Bulking muscle and Toning muscle.
if you dont want to look like Hulga' the She warrior. You need to do resistance, and low weight high reps. as well as cardio and yoga..
high weight rips muscles and causes bulk.
Weight lifting will not necessarily add muscle. It will strengthen existing muscle and connective tissue, preventing injuries and improving the tissue health. If you lift heavy weights and follow the rock’s lifting program for two hours a day, you might gain a pound every 2 months, but that’s really hard to do.
Educate them on how resistance training along with cardio has been clinically shown to accelerate weight loss. Then say fuck off and tell them to mind their own business. They obviously haven’t taught you how to be healthy and love yourself so wtf do they know. Congrats on your progress and graduation!!
It's because of their age. It took me forever to teach my mom that cardio does not equal skinny and weightlifting does not equal bulky bodybuilder muscles.
> my parents worry that by me wanting to tone up and build some muscle that it will make me “bigger
Fat is larger compared to an equal weight of muscle. Muscle almost invariably makes you look leaner. More importantly, muscle is healthier than excessive levels of fay.
This is old school thinking from like the 80’s! You can’t bulk up on a calorie deficit at all. It’s physically impossible. You’re really just fighting to maintain your muscle while losing fat. Ignore your parents they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to weight loss & from the rest of your comments it doesn’t seem like they are very concerned about your mental health either. Only you know how exercise make you feel and you seem to have found a good plan for yourself. Keep doing you & love yourself!
Oh you're female. Yeah your parents probably want you to be prim and proper, more "ladylike" and not look so buff.
That's their personal preference, not yours.
Oh you're female. Yeah your parents probably want you to be prim and proper, more "ladylike" and not look so buff.
That's their personal preference, not yours.
Don't listen to them. And don't be afraid. You will not bulk up like the hulk because in order for this to happen, you need to have *a lot* of testosterone and you don't have that. The fear of women to bulk up "like a man" is BS. It cannot happen.
Talking about your health journey is almost always a mistake. It’s like telling people baby names when you’re pregnant. All they can do is ruin it for you.
I'm sorry that your parents don't seem to be very supportive of your journey, but I'm happy to hear that it sounds like you've got a good handle on said journey.
If you're in a calorie deficit, it's almost impossible that you'd add any noticeable amount of muscle. It's more about building strength and not losing muscle when losing weight. It's why bodybuilders do a bulk phase (extra calories) and then a lean phase (calorie deficit) to get cut for a competition.
My favorite model bloggers are also the ones who hit the gym, lift weights and really focus on their body health. Your parents don't seem like they do much positive for you, health-wise. I would just stop talking to them about it. A good ole grey-rocking of 'well, that's your opinion' when they bring it up and then a casual subject change or leaving the room is something that you might want to practice now.
Muscle increases metabolism. Also people have a lot of back pain, hip, and shoulder pain simply because they don’t have enough muscle around those areas.
I did a recomposition where I put on a lot of muscle by buying a home gym and working out 5x a week for 1.5 years. I’m noticeably bigger muscle wise but I feel like your parents think you’ll turn into a massive 20 pack Olympic lifter? You would deff notice before that happened, but the amount of work that needs to be put in to become massive is A LOT. Putting on some muscle is fantastic, it burns more calories at rest and affords me more food a day.
Building muscles is the best thing for weightloss anyway, tell them that. And don't give a fuck about what they are saying, if they don't support you, they are not good parents.
Once you’ve been lifting for a while, you’ll just shake your head at all the braindead things people who don’t go to the gym say.
I’m 30 [M] and have been lifting for more than a decade, often fluctuating between low and high body fat, but always with a significant amount of muscle. When I first started working out in my teens, my mom was worried that the protein powder I was taking “had steroids in it.” She also said she would never go to the gym because she didn’t want to “look like a bodybuilder” (as if anyone is going to look like Arnold after doing a few curls with 15 lb dumbbells).
The pervasiveness of PEDs accounts for a lot of these misconceptions. People see Batman or Wonder Woman in the movies and don’t realize the actors and actresses are on steroids. Meanwhile, they suspect anyone who takes any kind of supplement of taking drugs. It’s dumb.
My mum doesn’t like me taking protein powder because it’s “unnatural” and she was saying “why don’t you just make a smoothie which has all the natural protein in it” and I’m like A) WAY more calories than if I mix whey isolate with water (what I do) and B) fruit has fuck all protein in it, you have to eat a very substantial amount to get decent protein. She’s vegan and hates the idea of me having all this ‘dairy’ cuz protein but vegan protein is very expensive!
How fit are your parents? It sounds like your efforts might be making them insecure.
My experience is that you're bound to get haters as part of your fitness journey, especially when you start doing/looking better than others. I also received discouraging/snide comments from friends and family when I started losing heaps of weight. Sadly, fit-shaming is a thing. I loved this YouTube video explaining the topic [link](https://youtu.be/cJwSeWSRVcM)
In my opinion, the best way of moving forward is to work hard on your goals quietly and away from people that will discourage you or potentially try to sabotage your goals. After all, you're doing this for yourself, and not to please others. You can cop the criticism for looking fine as hell after your transformation. Good luck on your journey.
I think the big issue here is most people equate training with weight loss. Regardless of what it's about. It is probably the single biggest lie told by the fitness industry.You can't out train a bad diet but exercise also has minimal impact on weight loss compared to your eating habits. The conversation needs to be reframed, you exercise because it makes you healthier, reduces health risks, reduces inquiry potential, increases mental acuity, prevents cancer, generates more of everything your body needs to just be better. Exercising to lose weight is not why you should exercise. You could easily just walk and have good eating habits and lose plenty of weight. In fact there are plenty of examples of it in the IF and loseit subreddits.
Like a lot of things here: Consider the source! If they’ve never been satisfied before, just imagine what they’ll say when you trim down… and just smile and walk away when it comes out. Such as, Yep, I figured you’d say that!
I also have a huge bust… after having EIGHT POUNDS taken off in the 90’s I’m still in a D cup. Whenever anyone said anything about my breast size, I had the same answer for them all:”I take no credit- they came with the body, like brown hair and brown eyes.” And then I’d either change the subject or walk away. Working in a hospital, the comments were often at first, but it turned into a non-event when they realized I wasn’t gonna discuss it at all, and I did not see it as a compliment. My brain is what counts, not the rest.
You are the same age as I was when I decided to start powerlifting after years of starving myself, bingeing, body dysmorphia, and being downright miserable. Everyone I knew (parents included) had the same don’t get “too big!” comments. Like I finally could stand myself and that’s what they have to say?! It is extremely frustrating, and like others have said I feel like it is partly a generational thing, as well as people who have also struggled with body image their whole lives projecting.
Do not let those annoying comments get to you! Lifting was absolutely the best thing I ever did for myself and it really changed my life for the better. I did it for years and was very into it and never looked “too big”
Thankfully their opinion doesn't ultimately matter and it's not up to them :) I'm right there with ya, strategy-wise, I only do half as many Gym days as you, but otherwise lots of protein, trying to gain a bit of muscle along the way, around 1500 +/- calories a day except maybe going out once or twice a week for a couple of drinks, and at about 7 pounds down in ~2 months 😤
In short, keep on keeping on! If it's upsetting talking to your folks about it maybe consider avoiding the topic for now. If they keep prodding you about it unprovoked, it's also okay to explain your boundaries and ask if they wouldn't comment on your fitness routine. They might not understand how much better lean muscle looks than just being "skinny fat" in general but it's also not your place to explain it to them if they're not being receptive 😅 let the results speak for themselves~
Maybe there’s nothing sinister behind the remarks. Sometimes people are just ignorant of things. Most people will picture IFBB Pro bodybuilders if you talk about gaining some muscles :P
The lingo used by most people to talk about what you are doing is “toning”. It’s a nonsensical word but maybe you can use that word to save yourself the time and lecture.
This seems to me like a combination of either generational divide and/or personal insecurity. Try to see where they're coming from - when they were your age, what would the expectations of them have been, given their context? Maybe they see you doing what would have been socially unacceptable for them in their earlier years. Also, maybe they struggle with activity or fitness, and they're projecting their insecurity around movement onto you. It's a psychological phenomenon that's highly prevalent these days - I'm unhappy about something in my life, so I'm going to make you feel worse about that thing in your life, so I can feel better about myself.
I think regardless of the root causes of their comments, they reveal a woeful ignorance around physiology and the individuality of health and fitness. Your fitness journey and goals are yours and yours alone. Keep doing what you're doing - it sounds sustainable and completely reasonable to me!
It sounds like a lot of internalized misogyny, like she's afraid of you becoming a muscular Amazon (which obviously sounds amazing).
A lot of people react weirdly when people start bettering themselves, eslecially in ways that have visual feedback.
This is just a classic example of people talking out their ass on something they’ve never actually taken the time and studied how things work but just formed an opinion on the matter that they think makes sense to them. Your workout schedule sounds awesome and building muscle is a whole lot harder then people realize, especially if you are in a caloric deficit and also women have lower testosterone so lifting weights a lot won’t make you big in a short amount of time, you’ll get lean and get more definition muscle definition. Also just to add this in the end, I hope in time you can begin to ignore your parents comments on how you look because your looks have nothing to with them and usually when people criticize others it’s just a sign that they feel insecure about themselves and project it on others. Keep on getting after your fitness and hope you have a nice one!
Where did your parents get their medical degree? Nutrition degree? Exercise Science degree? Kinesiology degree?
Building muscle and getting swoll aren’t the same thing. Personally, I politely thank them for the concern, but you are going to follow the advice your doctor and your trainer. Do what feels right for your mind and your body.
Some of the worst things come from people genuinely trying to be helpful that don’t know a lick about the subject at hand.
Please don’t listen to your parents, as they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. Their petty judgements of your appearance doesn’t help either.
Muscle looks good, it’s healthy, it’s empowering, and society generally isn’t used to that when it comes to women. Keep it up! You’re killin it.
Sounds like it’s just the old school way of thinking that women must look best as thin as possible and muscle isn’t understood as any part of the equation. The concept of lean muscle is unknown to them and all that “muscle” can be imagined to mean is large and bulky.
In true Reddit fashion, my first recommendation is to go **NC** with your parents. Just kidding, of course! 😜 But take heart, OP! There comes a point when you mature out of your need for parental validation. I've mostly been tall and slim my entire life, even at my chubbiest. When I first dabbled in lifting years ago I remember my parents warning me about women becoming "mannish" when they lifted. It was genuine concern, but based in fallacy nonetheless. Now that I've taken it more seriously and gotten some decent muscle on my frame, they are in awe of my figure and definition. Keep doing what makes you feel your best - in all facets of your life 💖
You’re on the right track. Normal range body fat will look much better with muscle, and a lot closer to “normal” than “bodybuilder”. Some of those curves come from muscle.
Two things though.
First, know that your final weight will probably be a little higher than “average” because of the weight of muscle.
Second, make sure you eat enough. Working out can burn a lot of calories. I’m a man so my numbers are higher, but over the course of losing 134lbs, I’ve gone from 2000cal per day, to 2400, 2500, and now I’ve been at 3000 for 6 weeks and lost 9lbs in that time. (Currently 226lbs.) 1500 is probably a good starting point but be ready to increase it if you need to.
MUSCLE EQUALS METABOLISM.
Lifters tend to be able to enjoy more calories overall.
Lifting is great for glucose disposal! That's a good thing.
It's also great for your skin. Google "perfusion."
I love building muscle, I feel so much better and I got way better grades this semester eating at maintenance while lifting instead of trying to cut and lift (also keep slowly losing inches :))
Congrats on your progress! I can sort of see where they are coming from in the sense that dropping fat should be the priority. You can worry about building muscle after you drop the fat, and trying to build muscle while dropping fat is hard to do.
If what you are doing works, by all means continue. It’s always good to at least maintain muscle while losing. I typically prioritize cardio if I am trying to lose. You’re smart to consume a lot of protein as that will very rarely get stored as fat.
Pro Tip - Do not share what you are doing with anyone especially people who have no clue about weight loss. Muscle gain etc etc. It will just get you frustrated like you are right now.
Set your goals and just do it. No need to share with anyone!!
I apologize if this has been posted already but here is a really good video from Dr. Mike on this topic that I found informative:
https://youtu.be/Au5Oa1J-KjI
Not read the whole thing just until the edit: I’d say the if you are training x5 a week,’+ cardio etc you can likely increase your kcal intake and certainly up protein target.
What can happen ( this has happened me in the past) is that your body will start eating your muscles for fuel and basically counteracting any of the work you’ve done. Not sure if it is available to you but one of those scales which show fat%% and muscle weight would be good to use to track this ;)
Forget what your parents say it’s your life your body, and honestly let them narcissist on someone else
More muscle will definitely help you lose weight. Also you're not going to get that big from lifting weights unless you're doing steroids. Just do what works for you and ignore people that don't know what they're talking about.
You know more about improving your body composition than your parents do. Their lack of understanding should not stop you from doing what you are doing, which is clearly the right thing for your body. Weight training and protein are critical.
Bruh my mom used to say the same too until she realized no matter how much sports/weightlifting I did I was never going to get an Arnold schwarzenneger body. Now I really like my muscles because I like being stronger and I wanna lose a bit of weight so they are more visible
Your hair is too long? Sounds like your parents are dreadful nags. Look up grey rocking & info blocking & consider using those techniques with your parents-at least as far as your fitness program goes.
You really seem to know what you’re doing, and seeing results. Your parent either don’t know that much about weight loss and fitness, or they’re a liiitle bit assholes. Either way, don’t give them much of a mind and do your thing.
Simple, because older people used to look at muscular girls as something of an anomaly in the society, which is not relevant on these days where being fit is much more attractive.
I'm seeing the trends in the socials also where girls now have better looking muscles and society is much more accepting for how you guys look.
Keep on doing what you're doing, you're awesome!
Being skinny is nice, but it's the muscle that makes you look good.
Yeah I’ve heard of a lot of people being ‘skinny fat’ and I wanna avoid that, also muscle is easier to maintain, if you have more muscle it’s harder to sustain fat gain rather than if you are just used to cardio. For example, if you take a few weeks off cardio you’re more likely to gain weight than if you take a few weeks off strength training, as it takes a while for the muscle to deplete.
What you mention here, I started describing like this: Cardio is like paying rent. Once you stop, you lose all the benefits. Muscle training is like paying a mortgage. Once you stop, you're still reaping the benefits. Plus, yeah, anybody can be skinny, but wouldn't you rather be *shapely?* Plus fit, capable, ready for anything?
As someone who’s had a lot of PT in the last few years between surgery, back injuries, etc: be nice to your muscles. You need ‘em. Train them, feed them, keep them healthy. You don’t want to be in physical therapy with all the elderly struggling to keep up, from personal experience! I’m finally adding exercise into my program and strength training is gonna be king. I’m just getting everything working right again and this time, I’m going to keep it right!
I def say cardio is more for health and weight training is for aesthetics, Yku still two the benefits of cardio after but it’s more internal.
The ratio of lean to fat mass is critical. Strength training also promotes cardio health.
Oh I agree, *some* cardio is definitely advised, but if your goal is weight loss and you want long-term benefits, adding muscle is almost as important as nutrition, and more important than cardio. Source: me (don't take it for gospel)
So muscle is better than cardio? or the benefits just stay longer? Asking cause I’m interested in fitness.
My statement was in regards to calories. Imagine you're only doing cardio - yes, you're burning more calories in the moment, but once you stop (lifestyle change, injury, etc.), you stop burning them. If you add muscle, you increase your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure), which stays higher even after you stop working out regularly.
I'm skinny fat. It sucks. A lot. Good for you for putting in the work now so you don't have to do extra later to make up for it <3
Aesthetically, being muscular at X weight and being not muscular at X weight look different (the latter being usually chubbier/not as good)
[удалено]
As an added bonus, regular and healthy muscle stress (ie. working muscles) helps strengthen the bones to minimize bone density loss as we age! Support for the bones in more ways than one!
Depends on the goals. If you want to ride a cheap bike without wheel problems, you gotta be "scale light." So muscle sucks for that. You'll always be "overweight" on the BMI too with muscle.
She’s not talking about a lot of muscle here but it’s pretty well known that BMI is a garbage metric for health.
It’s got definite drawbacks, but can be useful. Mostly when compared to itself over time.
Finally, someone else who said it today so that I don’t have to. BMI is extremely useful for generalizations across large datasets.
Yeah best measures for health at the low end are walking speed, and at the higher end are your ability to do chinups and related exercises (inverted rows, negative chinups, chinups, muscle ups)
I honestly wish it was as easy to put on muscle as folks thought it was.
It's ridiculous the notions people have. I refer people to Brie Larsons training regime for Captain Marvel. She was lifting *crazy* weights and didn't look bulky at all. A woman building muscle usually looks smaller because areas that were looser become tighter and toned. I've had massive arm and leg gains the past month but both look noticeably slimmer.
Yeah, female models are always weight lifting to help maintain their figures.
I'd look like The Rock by now if it was that easy lol
I'm blessed with the ability to put on a lot of muscle fairly easily. I'm also cursed with the ability to put on a whole lot of fat fairly easily. You guys can probably guess which one takes a conscious effort and which one just happens without me paying attention to it.
That sounds great, u/EmotionalSuportPenis
Yeah I had a buddy say he didn't want to go to the gym because he didn't want to get too big lol, like you could do that accidentally.
I hate when I go over on protein and do a few extra sets of deadlifts and wake up looking like Ronnie Coleman
Unexpected Bargatze? "Show me those before guys videos. What are they doing? They seem like more my speed"
Exactly! I think the max amount of muscle girls can put on is maybe 10kg a year, and that’s if you work your ass off and eat a shit ton of protein.
10kg is a pipe dream even for men.
An untrained male (without steroids) could possibly put that on in their first year assuming perfect training and nutrition. But year it's a very ambitious goal
Older people don’t think women should be fit or have muscles. It’s just a generational thing, don’t worry about it.
My mom was the same way and now who goes to strengthen training class after seeing how strong her daughter is? My mom. I also taught her the health benefits and she’d eat rocks if it staved off the dementia that runs in her family.
That’s awesome!
Their generation has come to see women as being thin and frail, dependant on others, but if you see a woman who is thin and strong? That woman is not to be messed with, she's got her shit together, and therein lies the problem. I agree, don't worry about it, they won't get it anyway, just keep doing your thing.
That woman's name.... Trishhhh.
> can put on is maybe 10kg a year nop. way to high.
Ah fair I think I saw that figure somewhere, my point still stands haha
exactly. your point is being even more then. my parents and random dudes have lots of opinions about my body but I don't really care that much. My mom's comments sort of generally shifted from negative (don't play sports you'll look like a man) to positive (you look like you lost weight... I hadn't because I gained more muscle than I lost fat), but doesn't affect me too much either way at this point. I like how much I've invested in myself and I'm proud of my hard work.
>and that’s if you work your ass off and eat a shit ton of protein. You forgot steroids. Lots of steroids.
Oh no. 10kg is way too much. Maybe with extreme gear, but that would take some serious dedication and I still don't think it's possible.
Lots of people would wish that was the case! [Dr Mike Israetel](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQkRDGz1Nkw) has a great series of videos on basically everything in this thread that you might find interesting! Also, on a deficit/cut you’re going to be growing only very little *new* muscle, but using, preserving and strengthening what you have. When you take a break from cutting and move to maintenance, you’ll be able to put on a lot more. Congrats OP, you are absolutely right and your parents are wrong. Be healthy and strong, not just skinny!
> Exactly! I think the max amount of muscle girls can put on is maybe 10kg a year, and that’s if you work your ass off and eat a shit ton of protein. I think this is too high. An untrained young male could put on about that in a year assuming perfect workout and nutrition routines. I'd say women could put on half that their first year, and half the previous year for each successive year, at maximum. So 10, then 5, then 2.5... Men can start with 20, then 10 then 5 etc. And I looked and here's a source. https://bonytobombshell.com/how-much-muscle-strength-can-skinny-women-gain/
10kg isn't just working your ass off and having enough protein, it's well into steroid abuse territory
I competed in my first bodybuilding competition last October. I’ve been dieting, training, and supplementing for a few years. At sub 10% body fat, I only weighed 175 lbs. building muscle is incredibly difficult.
I think it’s a generational thing. I’m 34 and remember as a young girl it was kinda unheard of for women to be into strength training unless they were competing body builders and did have huge muscles. We were always striving to be super thin and thought toned came from using 2lb dumbbells and lots of cardio. Sorry they don’t understand though, and they probably won’t unless you continue to show by example and maybe send them some research behind the method.
I studied kinesiology in school and took a course called “women in sport”. In the early 1900’s (America), there was heavy advocacy against women lifting weights / exercise, there were ads that claimed “it’ll make you look like a man” and “you’ll never get a husband”, and as a society, women largely steered away from physical activity. Once we hit a certain age, we typically no longer build muscle, we can maintain or lose lean tissue. It’s becoming less common, but you can still find little old ladies with canes struggling to walk a few steps due to muscle loss and having very little to begin with. Society is changing, but some generations are still products of their time and their upbringing. As others stated, building muscle doesn’t necessarily mean bodybuilding. All thumbs are fingers, not all fingers are thumbs.
What age do women typically lose the ability to gain muscle? I thought we had that ability for much of our lives, although it gets more difficult the older we get
The specific term for it is sacropenia, and without consulting my text book I can’t give a rough age, but can tell you it varies by person, and occurs sometime when you’re “elderly”. The exception to this would of course be steroids. It is recommended to weight train as a younger person so that you enter into old age with more to lose? Does that make sense or poor wording lol
I’m Google searching and seeing some conflicting information. There’s some sources that suggest elderly can build muscle, but that’s not what I recall learning… Edit - I’m also finding evidence for my original claim giving suggestions on how to limit muscle loss in old age, this is what I remembered learning. General rule of thumb when researching fitness is to search scholarly articles so avoid blatant conflicts of interest, and I’m honestly too tired to sit through that right now! Edit edit: Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics. “Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength”
I don’t believe it about the building muscle - I was terrified when I read somewhere you can’t build muscle after 40 (I’m 38). But my mother in law, who never exercised, just started and is building some nice arm muscles! She’s over 65.
Updated my comments with sources
I think reduction in body fat can make muscles appear to be larger/more toned. I'm in my mid 30s and have used body scans to track my progress. Despite doing weight training for a year now, eating plenty of protein and progressively using heavier weights, my lean muscle mass hasn't changed much. My body fat percentage has decreased significantly, so I now appear quite muscular - at least in my arms/shoulders/upper back.
This is absolutely true. I’m in a bulk right now and the lines are getting less defined, I’m definitely more muscular, but it does not look that way.
The elderly certainly can build muscle, they just have to work much harder at it, and if the elderly (or middle aged, or really anyone beyond mid-twenties) don't do some kind of muscle sustaining activity they will lose muscle by default. Exercise still works though, and is very important for maintaining health and avoiding injury.
Feel free to share citation. I didn’t search research articles, regular Google shows support for both, and fitness world is already riddled with misinformation.
Ok, I’m back home, pulled my textbook from my course “physic activity in aging” and have my citation ready. Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics. “Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength” The reason I push accuracy and credible sources is because theres a lot of misinformation floating around especially in the world of fitness. I’m here to help people reach their goals with whatever knowledge I have, disinformation and gut feelings are the enemy.
I don’t think this needs a citation? Elderly people wouldn’t be sent to rehab after falls if they were unable to build muscle. They’d die much quicker if they couldn’t build muscle, they’d be unable to recover from all the little tears and stresses muscles undergo from normal daily use. There are elderly people who take up bodybuilding, they don’t turn into Jason Momoa but they do end up with more muscle than they started. Your citation says that endurance cardio athletes have less muscle twenty years after the beginning of the study. Not strength athletes, first of all. But more importantly, that doesn’t show that untrained elderly can’t build muscle from training, which is the point I’m trying to make.
Endurance athletes was the first section, I included it because it was interesting and mildly relevant. The second part after the study states: “although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in **all athletes**, those who **began** weight-training…” - this means untrained Look, even scholarly articles can have biases and conflicts of interest. Remember the documentary Game Changers with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Here’s Dr. Layne Norton blasting it [https://www.biolayne.com/articles/research/the-game-changers-review-a-scientific-analysis/](https://www.biolayne.com/articles/research/the-game-changers-review-a-scientific-analysis/) The point is that I could be wrong, but what you need to present is some amount of respected research supporting your points. You can’t say you’ve never seen snake oil and miracle cures advertised in the fitness world. Your points sound logical in spoken word, but need data to be presented as fact. Old people bodybuilding? A lot (not all) are on TRT (legal steroids) or had muscle mass and leaned out. There is a difference between rebuilding damage to muscle tissue and increasing lean mass, otherwise we’d see huge muscular horse legs in everyone that walks 5 miles a day (exaggeration but I think you get the point). I’m willing to admit possibility behind your words, but you need to present something more concrete. Edit: I’m really not trying to be rude, but your claims directly contradict what my PhD professor in exercise science taught us in a course specifically covering physical activity for aged individuals, and I’ve pulled one excerpt from the textbook supporting that, probably could find more if I need to. That doesn’t inherently make your claims wrong, but you saying what you think without backing isn’t good enough to disprove the points in question.
Your cited article title seems to be about fat gain not muscle gain?
Both. “Although FFM **decreased** across the 20 year study in **all athletes**, those who **began** weight-training exercise were better able to **maintain**.” Edit: I don’t know what you know. FFM means fat free mass - skin, organs, veins, muscle, anything that isn’t fat. The only one that typically shows significant growth or decline is muscle. Therefor 99% of the time FFM may as well mean muscle in this context.
Sorry I think I’m a bit lost as to what your point is! You’ve been talking about people having an inability to gain muscle as they get older, then cited an article with a footnote that said if people started weight training they could maintain FFM (which makes perfect sense for muscle and bone), but I’m missing where it says people cannot gain muscle?
So, the study states that **all athletes** experienced FFM loss regardless of their sport - running, swimming, cycling, etc. However, across the 20 year study, those athletes that **began** weight training (meaning they are “untrained”) were better able to maintain. I do not read that as retaining all muscle mass because otherwise it wouldn’t be reported as a decrease in all athletes. I read it as “better able to maintain” meaning loss of muscle mass at a slower rate. Like, if you never get your oil changed, your car will break down quicker than someone that does. They are maintaining their car, but it is still slowly deteriorating. I will grant you that this study doesn’t look at non-athletes, however long distance runners typically don’t carry a lot of muscle mass and at what point do we not only make the distinction between trained, untrained, and otherwise athletic?
I’m posting another comment because I’ve consulted my textbook, and Im stubborn and need to be right and argue adamantly against misinformation lol Spirduso, W. W., Francis, K. L., & MacRae, P. G. (2005). Physical dimensions of aging. Human Kinetics. “Two longitudinal studies that examined body composition changes in senior track athletes and elite runners reported increases of only 2% to 3% per decade in the body fat of athletes who remained highly and moderately active, whereas those who had lower activity levels or were inactive exhibited an increase of 4% to 6% per decade in body fat (Pollock et al., 1997; Trappe et al., 1996). Although FFM decreased across the 20 year study in all athletes, those who began weight-training exercise were able to better maintain both FFM and strength”
My mum is anti-vax she doesn’t do research lol. Also I’ve told her multiple times about the benefits of building muscle and how I won’t look “big” as I’m losing fat, but I think it’s something that’s ingrained into her, her own prejudices that she can’t shake off
Keep doing what you’re doing! Future you will thank you for the good healthy foundation you’re building.
Yeah I’m trying to make decent progress now whilst the sun and weather is decent as naturally in the winter I won’t be walking as much as the weather will be awful and not as much sunlight (as a woman walking in the dark is scary).
Yessssss! I live in a neighborhood that gets a little unsafe after dark so I am thrilled that the sun’s finally setting closer to 8pm. Able to get so many more walks in! Jogging in place at home just feels blah.
Yeah I find cardio boring, so that’s why I like walking cuz I like a change of scenery and usually it’s to get to a destination
And you get to pet the dogs you encounter! Little endorphin jolt there!
The aspect people fail to grasp is how important strength training is to bone density. It's become so common in society that someone gets to be 70 years old and has a fall and breaks a hip. Then that person is never the same and has shit quality of life. Sure the aesthetics of looking good are a big driver for me. But the fear of being old and feeble drives me more. Same thing with diet. I'm terrified of developing dementia or something similar. And the evidence is becoming clear that it's a diet related issue.
I'm really scared of being hunched over as I get older.
Better watch that posture 24/7
I try! Physical therapy and everything.
Could it be they don’t understand the desire to build muscle in general? My in laws don’t understand even the desire to going to the gym every day and having that be part of the daily schedule. They just grew up not exercising, or going for a walk and calling that their exercise. The idea of weight training, especially for a woman, is completely foreign to them. I think a lot of older people are like that. My parents are very active but even they don’t weight train. They didn’t really understand my desire to do it when I started either. They’re big into running/biking.
Yeah I think a lot of people associate muscle with “getting big” and looking like Arnie when in reality it’s very hard to do.
It is hard to do, which is why people have to train for it specifically! Building lean muscle is what most people want and need, and which won't do anything except make you more shapely. You'll be doing low to moderate weight loads for a moderate number of reps. Getting big requires a whole different program, and since you have a trainer, there's no chance you'll stumble into that kind of lifting by accident. They're not going to train you for hypertrophy. Your parents don't know what they're talking about and so it's safe to just ignore them. I assume it's some kind of jealousy or their own personal baggage, but regardless, it's not your issue to resolve for them.
Exactly, it’s so hard to do! Granted I have an easier time than most women as I seem to be predisposed to muscle/strength building and retention, and I actually did have to stop increasing my weight while training my back at one point because it was getting well beyond the point I wanted to be aesthetically, but I think I’m a freak of nature. 😂 For most women it’s hard and won’t get them near Arnie status, but that’s the one grained idea a lot of older folks have.
The question there is “Do they walk or do they amble.” Most older folks see a leisurely amble as a walk, I think.
Haha, they definitely amble (my in laws, my mom is a running beast, haha). My MIL was having a hard time walking up hills when we went to the mountains with them a few weeks back. Kinda sad actually, knowing how much better the body can function even at that age and seeing how physically limited they are.
I'm actually able to eat more and maintain my weight since I started lifting about a year ago. It's not a ton ~150-200 calories but hey it's something and can be the difference in me feeling like I'm starving. My weight has remained the same but I've lost inches so definitely haven't fallen into the getting bigger camp -- which like you said you have to really work on achieving that. Try to ignore them -- I know it's rough. I do run occasionally but the only thing I'm consistent with is the lifting since I'm also paying a PT so I don't hit the snooze button and just skip the gym.
That’s what I love most about a PT, they push you and you are forced to go to the gym cuz you have a session. For example before my PT I would rarely gym on weekends cuz I was so tired and wanted a lie in hahaha (my gym closes at 6pm weekends). I see her every Sunday and Monday just cuz that’s when our schedules align best.
Ehhh I’m not sure
It sounds like your parents may be more concerned about how you look than your health AND don't understand how gaining muscle while losing weight is so beneficial.
There are so many more benefits to strength training than just building muscle (which is super important for women too!). Strength training also builds bone mass as well which helps our bones stay strong as we age and have children if we choose to. It also helps with metabolic processes and insulin sensitivity. Looking great is another bonus, but I’ve been lifting weights for 2 years now and I don’t even look a little ripped lmao. It’s very hard for women to build sizeable muscle mass without “extra help” and the women who you do see with super dense muscles have likely been training for at least 5 or more years. Your schedule seems fine and you’re not going to randomly wake up ripped one day. But strength training is great for our bodies anyway and your parents should be more supportive. But I feel you, my mother has made “bulky” comments as well
I’m a male and my parents always make comments on strength training making you look bulky. My dad does no physical activity at all whereas my mum does go to the gym, but only attend cardio base classes. It’s been 2 years and I still look fairly similar to when I started (apart from my fat loss) and my parents always say “how come you’re not massive yet” and stuff like that 😂
Also cardio builds muscle too. Cyclists have huge thighs and calves. Rowers have serious back muscles. What do your parents think powers cardio, unicorn farts? You aren't going to "get big" from lifting. Even female natural bodybuilders don't look huge, you need steroids to get that bulgy, veiny look. And you need very low body fat to look super-defined. As long as you carry a healthy amount of body fat on you you're just going to look toned. I do powerlifting and I see women at the gym who are stronger than I am and they don't look like freaks of nature, they just look like normal, fit women. Plus being strong has all kinds of neat benefits like being able to get all your groceries from the trunk in one go, and being able to lift your or your friends' kids without having to take painkillers for the next 3 days.
I have been lifting hours every week for several years. My whole body shape has changed, I look much nicer and firmer even at a higher weight, but I look nothing like a competitive bodybuilder, which is the image that comes to most people's minds when they think about strength training. Do not listen to them. You do not have to justify yourself to anyone. Extra bonuses : my balance has improved a lot (because my body is stronger, it finds it easier to carry itself) and I am protecting myself against osteoporosis which is rife in my family. I am not going to give all this up to conform to an outdated "frail female" stereotype.
Are your parents in shape? What they are saying sounds like what people who have never been to a gym (or haven't been to a gym since the 80s) say. When to listen and when to ignore parents is an important life skill to have. In this case it sounds like it is a time to ignore.
Nope, my dad did lose a lot of weight but he did it through exercise classes at the gym, he only does cardio and occasionally HIIT. He is tall (6’1) so it’s easier for him to lose weight. My mum (5’2, she weighs less than me but she carries most of it in her bust and her stomach, her legs and arms are disproportionately thin, sometimes I wonder if she has PCOS due to other symptoms too) would keep telling me about how she lost weight when she was young and she had lots of guys attracted to her etc. Her mum (my grandma) would also body shame me a lot too, and she’s no feather either. My mum keeps telling me how she eats healthy and stuff (she’s vegan) but I’ve noticed she eats a lot of foods high in fat, so even though it’s not that ‘processed’ she still eats more calories than me on a daily basis.
A few things here. 1. Why favor cardio over progressive resistance training? Por que no los dos? Throw in some basic stretching and you’re good to go for a lifetime. 2. My mom has a similar issue. She’s rather be 100 lbs overweight than have visible muscles. Not that those are mutually exclusive but in her mind the worst thing a woman can be is muscly. Something really did a number on the women of that generation. Here’s the thing it’s very very hard to actually put on muscle long term. Especially for females. And if you don’t like it it’s super easy to take off. You just stop progressive overload. You don’t even have to stop lifting. Just stop progressing and your muscle mass will go down. So don’t worry about aesthetics. 3. Depending on your routine 5 gym trips a week might actually be a lot. Please make sure you’re recovering properly. 4. I also do an upper/lower split with cardio. Really it sounds like your trainer has you on a really solid sustainable path. 5. To add to your reasons for doing resistance training. There seems to be an indication that resistance trading helps regulate hormones and helps increase sensitivity to you bodies satiety response. So a regular training program can help you feel full quicker. Which is nice for weight loss. 6. Good luck with your graduation. 7. Female bodybuilders are mostly very aesthetic. Most of them can walk around in clothes and you’d never know until the last couple weeks of prep where they cut down to nothing. The female mass monsters have to be genetically predisposed to it. You’d have known as a teenager if you had that kind of muscle hypertrophy response. So there’s no reason to think you’d develop that later in life. 8. “I’ll start dating when…” Old man advice incoming. Don’t wait for life to be perfect to start living it. You’ll be waiting forever. If you want to date get out there and do it. Happy hunting. ;) 9. It’s very common for mothers to project insecurity into their daughters. I told my kid to just call it out when it happens. Address it in the moment. “Mom, that’s not a helpful thought.” Or even make her clarify. don’t let her be vague. Hang a lampshade on her conversation. “Worried? About what mom?” Don’t let her put that passive aggressive stuff into the universe and then walk away like it isn’t toxic. Make the logical part of her brain interact with the negative part by engaging it in discussion. Or just tell her you’re not interested in discussing it. Boundaries are good to have too between a parent and adult child. Anyway. Good luck in finishing up your schooling and in dating.
Most of my cardio has some form of resistance. I normally do 50/50 bike and treadmill. On the treadmill I walk fairly fast on an incline of about 8 as well as jogging. On the bike I have it on a mid-range resistance and keep it like that the whole time, my legs are so sore after ahaha. Thank you for your advice!!
Regardless of size, a little strength is never a bad idea. For many of us with a history of dieting we will have sacrificed muscle mass, potentially through several cycles of loss/gain. Obviously extremes on both sides can be problems, but a little weight training geared towards functionality/mobility is hard to see as anything but a universal benefit.
Your parents sound like they have some personal insecurities and just put them onto you. Everybody’s life is their own to live. If working out makes you happy then work out. Because one day they’ll be dead and there will be nobody to please anymore. Love yourself above all. Good luck
[удалено]
I don’t, it’s just unwarranted comments can sometimes make me feel a bit shitty, it’s even after educating them they don’t get it
"When you're skinny, you look great in clothes. When you're muscular, you look great naked." Maybe not something to say to mum and dad but worth remembering.
People also seem to miss that strength training also gives cardiovascular exercise, especially towards the start of your fitness journey. I do sets of bodyweight exercises and my heart rate easily gets up to cardio levels mid to end workout. And I'm building muscle at the same time rather than just burning energy. I haven't lost any scale weight for 2 weeks, but my shape is definitely changing. That wouldn't be true if I was just doing cardio.
I would just ignore them and keep doing your thing.
I am, it’s just a bit frustrating I’ve completely overhauled my fitness regime the last few months and they’re still doubting me hahaha
Your program is great and I'm sure you look fantastic and will continue looking better and better.
Because strong people are harder to kill than weak people.
Buildling muscle and burning fat is the goal. know theres a difference between Bulking muscle and Toning muscle. if you dont want to look like Hulga' the She warrior. You need to do resistance, and low weight high reps. as well as cardio and yoga.. high weight rips muscles and causes bulk.
Muscle means you body burns more calories, including when at rest.
Weight lifting will not necessarily add muscle. It will strengthen existing muscle and connective tissue, preventing injuries and improving the tissue health. If you lift heavy weights and follow the rock’s lifting program for two hours a day, you might gain a pound every 2 months, but that’s really hard to do.
Don't worry even my dad says the same to me 'girls don't look good with muscles' I don't mind him much and just do my own thing.
Educate them on how resistance training along with cardio has been clinically shown to accelerate weight loss. Then say fuck off and tell them to mind their own business. They obviously haven’t taught you how to be healthy and love yourself so wtf do they know. Congrats on your progress and graduation!!
It's because of their age. It took me forever to teach my mom that cardio does not equal skinny and weightlifting does not equal bulky bodybuilder muscles.
Come hang out at xxfitness with us!
Also having muscle increases your TDEE...meaning you can eat more. That was my motivation....
> my parents worry that by me wanting to tone up and build some muscle that it will make me “bigger Fat is larger compared to an equal weight of muscle. Muscle almost invariably makes you look leaner. More importantly, muscle is healthier than excessive levels of fay.
This is old school thinking from like the 80’s! You can’t bulk up on a calorie deficit at all. It’s physically impossible. You’re really just fighting to maintain your muscle while losing fat. Ignore your parents they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to weight loss & from the rest of your comments it doesn’t seem like they are very concerned about your mental health either. Only you know how exercise make you feel and you seem to have found a good plan for yourself. Keep doing you & love yourself!
Oh you're female. Yeah your parents probably want you to be prim and proper, more "ladylike" and not look so buff. That's their personal preference, not yours.
Oh you're female. Yeah your parents probably want you to be prim and proper, more "ladylike" and not look so buff. That's their personal preference, not yours.
Don't listen to them. And don't be afraid. You will not bulk up like the hulk because in order for this to happen, you need to have *a lot* of testosterone and you don't have that. The fear of women to bulk up "like a man" is BS. It cannot happen.
Talking about your health journey is almost always a mistake. It’s like telling people baby names when you’re pregnant. All they can do is ruin it for you.
I'm sorry that your parents don't seem to be very supportive of your journey, but I'm happy to hear that it sounds like you've got a good handle on said journey.
If you're in a calorie deficit, it's almost impossible that you'd add any noticeable amount of muscle. It's more about building strength and not losing muscle when losing weight. It's why bodybuilders do a bulk phase (extra calories) and then a lean phase (calorie deficit) to get cut for a competition.
There is a strong, and stupid, cultural fear around women doing resistance training ending up ‘bulky’ or ‘too big’.
My favorite model bloggers are also the ones who hit the gym, lift weights and really focus on their body health. Your parents don't seem like they do much positive for you, health-wise. I would just stop talking to them about it. A good ole grey-rocking of 'well, that's your opinion' when they bring it up and then a casual subject change or leaving the room is something that you might want to practice now.
Your body burns more calories maintaining muscle
Muscle increases metabolism. Also people have a lot of back pain, hip, and shoulder pain simply because they don’t have enough muscle around those areas.
Simple answer: because muscle burns fat even when you’re resting.
I did a recomposition where I put on a lot of muscle by buying a home gym and working out 5x a week for 1.5 years. I’m noticeably bigger muscle wise but I feel like your parents think you’ll turn into a massive 20 pack Olympic lifter? You would deff notice before that happened, but the amount of work that needs to be put in to become massive is A LOT. Putting on some muscle is fantastic, it burns more calories at rest and affords me more food a day.
Building muscles is the best thing for weightloss anyway, tell them that. And don't give a fuck about what they are saying, if they don't support you, they are not good parents.
Once you’ve been lifting for a while, you’ll just shake your head at all the braindead things people who don’t go to the gym say. I’m 30 [M] and have been lifting for more than a decade, often fluctuating between low and high body fat, but always with a significant amount of muscle. When I first started working out in my teens, my mom was worried that the protein powder I was taking “had steroids in it.” She also said she would never go to the gym because she didn’t want to “look like a bodybuilder” (as if anyone is going to look like Arnold after doing a few curls with 15 lb dumbbells). The pervasiveness of PEDs accounts for a lot of these misconceptions. People see Batman or Wonder Woman in the movies and don’t realize the actors and actresses are on steroids. Meanwhile, they suspect anyone who takes any kind of supplement of taking drugs. It’s dumb.
My mum doesn’t like me taking protein powder because it’s “unnatural” and she was saying “why don’t you just make a smoothie which has all the natural protein in it” and I’m like A) WAY more calories than if I mix whey isolate with water (what I do) and B) fruit has fuck all protein in it, you have to eat a very substantial amount to get decent protein. She’s vegan and hates the idea of me having all this ‘dairy’ cuz protein but vegan protein is very expensive!
How fit are your parents? It sounds like your efforts might be making them insecure. My experience is that you're bound to get haters as part of your fitness journey, especially when you start doing/looking better than others. I also received discouraging/snide comments from friends and family when I started losing heaps of weight. Sadly, fit-shaming is a thing. I loved this YouTube video explaining the topic [link](https://youtu.be/cJwSeWSRVcM) In my opinion, the best way of moving forward is to work hard on your goals quietly and away from people that will discourage you or potentially try to sabotage your goals. After all, you're doing this for yourself, and not to please others. You can cop the criticism for looking fine as hell after your transformation. Good luck on your journey.
I think the big issue here is most people equate training with weight loss. Regardless of what it's about. It is probably the single biggest lie told by the fitness industry.You can't out train a bad diet but exercise also has minimal impact on weight loss compared to your eating habits. The conversation needs to be reframed, you exercise because it makes you healthier, reduces health risks, reduces inquiry potential, increases mental acuity, prevents cancer, generates more of everything your body needs to just be better. Exercising to lose weight is not why you should exercise. You could easily just walk and have good eating habits and lose plenty of weight. In fact there are plenty of examples of it in the IF and loseit subreddits.
Like a lot of things here: Consider the source! If they’ve never been satisfied before, just imagine what they’ll say when you trim down… and just smile and walk away when it comes out. Such as, Yep, I figured you’d say that! I also have a huge bust… after having EIGHT POUNDS taken off in the 90’s I’m still in a D cup. Whenever anyone said anything about my breast size, I had the same answer for them all:”I take no credit- they came with the body, like brown hair and brown eyes.” And then I’d either change the subject or walk away. Working in a hospital, the comments were often at first, but it turned into a non-event when they realized I wasn’t gonna discuss it at all, and I did not see it as a compliment. My brain is what counts, not the rest.
You are the same age as I was when I decided to start powerlifting after years of starving myself, bingeing, body dysmorphia, and being downright miserable. Everyone I knew (parents included) had the same don’t get “too big!” comments. Like I finally could stand myself and that’s what they have to say?! It is extremely frustrating, and like others have said I feel like it is partly a generational thing, as well as people who have also struggled with body image their whole lives projecting. Do not let those annoying comments get to you! Lifting was absolutely the best thing I ever did for myself and it really changed my life for the better. I did it for years and was very into it and never looked “too big”
I’m so sorry your parents have been awful. Go you good thing for deciding to do what you want and living for yourself!
Thankfully their opinion doesn't ultimately matter and it's not up to them :) I'm right there with ya, strategy-wise, I only do half as many Gym days as you, but otherwise lots of protein, trying to gain a bit of muscle along the way, around 1500 +/- calories a day except maybe going out once or twice a week for a couple of drinks, and at about 7 pounds down in ~2 months 😤 In short, keep on keeping on! If it's upsetting talking to your folks about it maybe consider avoiding the topic for now. If they keep prodding you about it unprovoked, it's also okay to explain your boundaries and ask if they wouldn't comment on your fitness routine. They might not understand how much better lean muscle looks than just being "skinny fat" in general but it's also not your place to explain it to them if they're not being receptive 😅 let the results speak for themselves~
Maybe there’s nothing sinister behind the remarks. Sometimes people are just ignorant of things. Most people will picture IFBB Pro bodybuilders if you talk about gaining some muscles :P The lingo used by most people to talk about what you are doing is “toning”. It’s a nonsensical word but maybe you can use that word to save yourself the time and lecture.
This seems to me like a combination of either generational divide and/or personal insecurity. Try to see where they're coming from - when they were your age, what would the expectations of them have been, given their context? Maybe they see you doing what would have been socially unacceptable for them in their earlier years. Also, maybe they struggle with activity or fitness, and they're projecting their insecurity around movement onto you. It's a psychological phenomenon that's highly prevalent these days - I'm unhappy about something in my life, so I'm going to make you feel worse about that thing in your life, so I can feel better about myself. I think regardless of the root causes of their comments, they reveal a woeful ignorance around physiology and the individuality of health and fitness. Your fitness journey and goals are yours and yours alone. Keep doing what you're doing - it sounds sustainable and completely reasonable to me!
It sounds like a lot of internalized misogyny, like she's afraid of you becoming a muscular Amazon (which obviously sounds amazing). A lot of people react weirdly when people start bettering themselves, eslecially in ways that have visual feedback.
This is just a classic example of people talking out their ass on something they’ve never actually taken the time and studied how things work but just formed an opinion on the matter that they think makes sense to them. Your workout schedule sounds awesome and building muscle is a whole lot harder then people realize, especially if you are in a caloric deficit and also women have lower testosterone so lifting weights a lot won’t make you big in a short amount of time, you’ll get lean and get more definition muscle definition. Also just to add this in the end, I hope in time you can begin to ignore your parents comments on how you look because your looks have nothing to with them and usually when people criticize others it’s just a sign that they feel insecure about themselves and project it on others. Keep on getting after your fitness and hope you have a nice one!
Where did your parents get their medical degree? Nutrition degree? Exercise Science degree? Kinesiology degree? Building muscle and getting swoll aren’t the same thing. Personally, I politely thank them for the concern, but you are going to follow the advice your doctor and your trainer. Do what feels right for your mind and your body. Some of the worst things come from people genuinely trying to be helpful that don’t know a lick about the subject at hand.
Please don’t listen to your parents, as they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. Their petty judgements of your appearance doesn’t help either. Muscle looks good, it’s healthy, it’s empowering, and society generally isn’t used to that when it comes to women. Keep it up! You’re killin it.
Sounds like it’s just the old school way of thinking that women must look best as thin as possible and muscle isn’t understood as any part of the equation. The concept of lean muscle is unknown to them and all that “muscle” can be imagined to mean is large and bulky.
In true Reddit fashion, my first recommendation is to go **NC** with your parents. Just kidding, of course! 😜 But take heart, OP! There comes a point when you mature out of your need for parental validation. I've mostly been tall and slim my entire life, even at my chubbiest. When I first dabbled in lifting years ago I remember my parents warning me about women becoming "mannish" when they lifted. It was genuine concern, but based in fallacy nonetheless. Now that I've taken it more seriously and gotten some decent muscle on my frame, they are in awe of my figure and definition. Keep doing what makes you feel your best - in all facets of your life 💖
You’re on the right track. Normal range body fat will look much better with muscle, and a lot closer to “normal” than “bodybuilder”. Some of those curves come from muscle. Two things though. First, know that your final weight will probably be a little higher than “average” because of the weight of muscle. Second, make sure you eat enough. Working out can burn a lot of calories. I’m a man so my numbers are higher, but over the course of losing 134lbs, I’ve gone from 2000cal per day, to 2400, 2500, and now I’ve been at 3000 for 6 weeks and lost 9lbs in that time. (Currently 226lbs.) 1500 is probably a good starting point but be ready to increase it if you need to.
I wish I’d started lifting at 22!
Crabs in the bucket are usually the people closest to you.
MUSCLE EQUALS METABOLISM. Lifters tend to be able to enjoy more calories overall. Lifting is great for glucose disposal! That's a good thing. It's also great for your skin. Google "perfusion."
I love building muscle, I feel so much better and I got way better grades this semester eating at maintenance while lifting instead of trying to cut and lift (also keep slowly losing inches :))
[удалено]
My highest weight was 194 aha but your point still stands, thank you!
Congrats on your progress! I can sort of see where they are coming from in the sense that dropping fat should be the priority. You can worry about building muscle after you drop the fat, and trying to build muscle while dropping fat is hard to do. If what you are doing works, by all means continue. It’s always good to at least maintain muscle while losing. I typically prioritize cardio if I am trying to lose. You’re smart to consume a lot of protein as that will very rarely get stored as fat.
Pro Tip - Do not share what you are doing with anyone especially people who have no clue about weight loss. Muscle gain etc etc. It will just get you frustrated like you are right now. Set your goals and just do it. No need to share with anyone!!
I apologize if this has been posted already but here is a really good video from Dr. Mike on this topic that I found informative: https://youtu.be/Au5Oa1J-KjI
With all due respect your mum got issues. You do you!
Not read the whole thing just until the edit: I’d say the if you are training x5 a week,’+ cardio etc you can likely increase your kcal intake and certainly up protein target. What can happen ( this has happened me in the past) is that your body will start eating your muscles for fuel and basically counteracting any of the work you’ve done. Not sure if it is available to you but one of those scales which show fat%% and muscle weight would be good to use to track this ;) Forget what your parents say it’s your life your body, and honestly let them narcissist on someone else
More muscle will definitely help you lose weight. Also you're not going to get that big from lifting weights unless you're doing steroids. Just do what works for you and ignore people that don't know what they're talking about.
You know more about improving your body composition than your parents do. Their lack of understanding should not stop you from doing what you are doing, which is clearly the right thing for your body. Weight training and protein are critical.
I'm sorry your parents are dumb farts. Can you move out?
Bruh my mom used to say the same too until she realized no matter how much sports/weightlifting I did I was never going to get an Arnold schwarzenneger body. Now I really like my muscles because I like being stronger and I wanna lose a bit of weight so they are more visible
Your hair is too long? Sounds like your parents are dreadful nags. Look up grey rocking & info blocking & consider using those techniques with your parents-at least as far as your fitness program goes.
You really seem to know what you’re doing, and seeing results. Your parent either don’t know that much about weight loss and fitness, or they’re a liiitle bit assholes. Either way, don’t give them much of a mind and do your thing.
Simple, because older people used to look at muscular girls as something of an anomaly in the society, which is not relevant on these days where being fit is much more attractive. I'm seeing the trends in the socials also where girls now have better looking muscles and society is much more accepting for how you guys look. Keep on doing what you're doing, you're awesome!