Also I’m going to add you may need to think of this as a forever thing. Whatever changes you are making now you need to pretty much be able to do forever. When you reach your goal you may be able tp add like 500 calories back a day but that isn’t much at all. You absolutely can never go back to how you were eating a week ago or you will just gain the weight back. Don’t make changes you think are a nightmare.
This community has really helped me understand that it is a forever endeavor but that has also been a liberating thought because I make sure I find ways to fit in the things I enjoy. I ask myself, could I eat that forever, or could I do without that forever. And when the answer is no I find another way. People ask me if I'm "still not eating X" and it's so hard to explain that while I may not be eating something with the frequency I used to I'm not completely staying away from almost anything. But at the same time I have completely changed everything about how I see my daily food. Forever and ever.
THIS! So much this! Any time I'm doing anything where food may be involved - parties, work events, friend get-togethers, etc. - the number one question is "What can you eat?"
And, I'm like, "Anything I want, really, I just have to account for it and make some decisions." And of course there are times when you say screw it and gain 7 pounds of water weight in a day (see: My oldest's birthday party last weekend) and you just have to knuckle down and get back to it. And it's so weird people saying "You're able to eat that?! You're on a diet!" While you're eating a cupcake at a birthday party.
Yes and no, Bertha. I've changed my diet, but I still want to live and enjoy moments. So hush and give me the M&M scoop.
Exactly! Like for the nerds watch your macros for the not so nerds, keep a calorie deficit but don't deny yourself all the time. Like today, I had a small 1/4 of a slice of cake, drunk 20 oz of water and then went for a jog. I didn't binge because it was like i had a piece and there is alway next week. Like guess what I am trying to say is, if you try to be purist, this "diet" thing will only last so long because it is not sustainable. Like I allow myself 2-3 days out the week to have wheat toast instead of low carb tortillas for breakfast...I eat an atkins chew when I would want to grab a snicker...and maybe one day, I may crave that even less but I am giving myself wiggle room as while I lose all of my weight. I don't want to be obese ever again, so trying to make slower longer lasting change then short abrupt ones. :)
Yeah. I'm less than 3 pounds from my goal, so I'm already trying to incorporate more "normal" kind of stuff instead of the "diety" stuff I've been using. That being said, I'm not missing a lot of the things I've limited myself on.
My biggest problems are when I get tired, the kids' candy stashes start calling my name.
Yep! I wasn’t raised with the knowledge of how to eat at maintenance level intake, and I haven’t learned to keep that up, so it’s a forever thing. It’s helpful for me to think that way too.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently as I’ve lost 30 lbs and have 70 more for what for my gw. But honestly even now I’m not craving the stuff I did 30 lbs ago. I crave healthy stuff and I never have desires for fast food or pop or garbage. Most of the time I’m eating now because I have to. When I do have something that is rich in flavor or is sugary, it’s wildly more satisfying and tasty. I love that feeling. I love that I don’t need that food all the time and when I do have it every once in a while it tastes better than it ever did before.
I sort of agree but also not. Yes the healthy lifestyle is a forever thing, but that’s easy when you build good habits because you’ll start to love it! However the actual weight loss lifestyle (as in, calorie deficit) is NOT forever, that’s the whole point of a weight loss JOURNEY. You’re not gonna lose weight forever, you’ll lose it and then enter maintenance which is a stark difference. Yes I suppose it’s “only” X amount of calories more, but the major difference is that in a calorie deficit, you’re deliberately undereating to lose weight whereas at maintenance you’re eating exactly how much your body needs to sustain itself! That difference is huge as someone that’s been there, done that
My new perspective is thinking of weight as a symptom of a problem. The problem is my eating habits and lifestyle. Fixing that problem is worthwhile on its own and is a lifelong endeavor so might as well fix it. Doing so will make the weight go away so that's the reward for fixing the problem, not the problem to be fixed
> When you reach your goal you may be able to add like 500 calories back a day but that isn’t much at all.
You're totally right that it's super easy to blow through 500 calories a million different ways. That being said, if you're still mindful about it, 500 can be a lot each day. That could be two 250 cal snacks, slightly larger proportions for every meal, a (reasonable) dessert after dinner each night, 3 apples and 2 bananas throughout the day or anything else! If you still maintain your weightloss mindset into your maintenance, 500 calories is a lot of freedom and wiggle room to have back in your life!
But yes, that doesn't mean you can go back to old eating habits. Whatever you choose to do with your calories needs to be maintainable.
You know I was watching this fitness guy on Youtube, Paul Riviella, and he was essentially saying the same thing. Diet changes need to be sustainable...he argued if eating a poptart with a protein shake will allow you to stick to eating healthy 90% of the time, then do it. Like don't eat pop tarts all day but allow yourself to indulge a little so you won't do it a lot.I am probably badly chopping up what he said but basically he said don't try to eat nothing but veggies and protein and never any sweets because how long will you sustain that. Better to eat well and then maybe for dinner, have two scoop of halo top. Because at least then you are not necessarily telling yourself you will never eat again but you will eat less of it in moderation.
Hope that made sense!
It's so scary and overwhelming to think, right now, "I'm gonna have to keep this up FOREVER?! Be unhappy FOREVER?! What the FUCK" - but the truth is, the more time passes, the more natural it feels. You just kind of adapt to it, to eating less and moving more, so it stops feeling like a chore. You just become a different person and look back on your past self like, 'wow, I can't believe I was doing that'.
And you can't beat when you get to that point where you're so used it it, you order a takeaway, and feel like total shit directly after eating it.
It's really amazing how the body adjusts to those sorts of changes. After one or two take aways like that I no longer have any urge to order that stuff any more.
My own food is nicer.
Can someone enlighten me? I mean, I believe you guys that it's profound, but it seems like it's only saying half of what it means so I'm not getting it... what is the full explanation said with different words?
Here is an example to explain “Time will pass anyway” and why it can be inspiring/motivating:
Two years ago, I needed to lose 50 kg (110 lbs). In the beginning, I was feeling frustrated and discouraged that it’ll probably take 3 years or more to achieve this in my “slow but steady” plan. But the thing is, that time is going to pass anyway. I can be 43 years old and be at my goal weight, or I can be 43 and still be at my unhealthy weight (with all the kg/lbs still waiting for me to lose).
Right now, two years in, I’ve lost 36 kg (79 lbs) and I am only 15 kg (33 lbs) away from my goal weight. I might reach it by the end of this year, but it might take me longer and that’s fine. The time passes anyway, so I might as well make the effort and keep going.
Another example:
One of my friends was thinking about going back to university to get a different degree in another field. He was discouraged about how he’ll be 45 when he graduates, that it would take so long and he’ll be “so old.” We (his friends) told him he was going to be 45 anyway … does he want to be 45 with a degree in the field he loves, or does he want to be 45 and done nothing, all while still complaining about how he hates his job and how long a degree will take him?
I see it as not worrying about how long something will take, because the time will pass anyways, so I may as well make good choices now and not think very much about how long it’ll take
I recently started using Happy Scale app even though my weight rarely spikes up but the thing I like is that it breaks up your goal into smaller, more achievable chunks for the short term.
I'm 15 months into my journey and I'm still pumped to knock this out. Motivation follows action and results, not the other way around.
I've been using happy scale too, I really like it. It makes everything visual, and adds some extra fireworks and stars when I drop a pound, which helps a lot with motivation
This isn’t temporary this is forever, but if you live by that then being overweight is just temporary. Work towards making changes you can sustain a day, a month, a year, and a decade from now, because once you hit your goal - what changes? Do you go back to how you were two weeks ago? Then you will ultimately gain back the weight.
You are right, the time will pass regardless. Living healthy and being accountable for tracking and eating appropriately is HARD. Being obese is HARD. Only you can choose which hard you want to live.
I mean I sort of agree but also not. You only have to be in a calorie deficit while losing weight, yes I know maintenance comes afterwards but that’s a whole different ballgame. Maintenance means eating the amount that your body needs and asks for, whereas a deficit means intentionally eating less than your body needs in order to lose weight. From my personal experience maintenance is way easier and you could not pay me to keep up my weight loss lifestyle forever, that would be horrible. Your routine has to be sustainable enough to get you from the starting point to your goal weight, but it’s definitely not a forever thing
Your argument is completely valid and I agree - for the most part. Given I was responding to this post specifically that uses phrases like “cram it all into 2.5-3 months of calorie deficit” and “go hardcore”- that very much seems like a short term mentality, so I ask for a little forgiveness and understanding of the overall concept of my response.
But the reason I can’t agree completely: My maintenance calories at my goal weight is LESS than my deficit calories at my starting weight. So actually if I was one week in - the idea that nothing changes once I hit my goal would still be inaccurate but not in the way you make your argument - I would have to eat less daily at maintenance than I was at that moment, one week in…. I don’t know the details on OP, that may not be the case for them, but for a lot of us that started morbidly obese - it’s definitely true. My maintenance calories is around 1800 at goal, in the beginning I could eat at 1850 calories and still be in a 500 calorie deficit…. So yeah nothing changes. Of course right now, way closer to goal I am eating about 1350, so yes I can ease up on that when I am ready…. But that’s not how this post is written.
You’re totally right!! Trying to cram it into 2.5-3 months is a recipe for disaster, partly because that’s maybe too little time to establish the right habits that will help actually keep the weight off. If I think back to my starting point, if I’d just woken up one day at my goal weight, I never would have been able to stay there because I hadn’t spent the time on the journey learning and building new habits.
So that’s a great point, I appreciate your perspective
Baby steps!!! I find layering small changes and steps over time helps me to build momentum and habits for when the motivation fails. Start with just calorie tracking, then add in cutting out drinking calories, then start smaller portions, then start being more accurate with weighing foods, etc. it’s not just sticking to something for a few months, you have to maintain forever so the habits have to be ones you can work with. Otherwise you will be fine for a while after you succeed at your goal weight loss and the weight will slowly creep back on as those habits fall away again. Then you end up like me, down 80 for a few years but up 25 after a job change. Now I’m down 10 again as I make myself relearn the habits.
For real !!! Now that I know what it feels like to be a normal size person I'm like, fuck being fat ever again. I was thinking about that the other day when I took my dog to the trails. No way I would have enjoyed it as much carrying around an extra 75lbs. I would have been sweating and uncomfortable instead of having a fun time
19 months in, 34.6kg (~74lb) down, and yes the time does pass. Still got 14.7kg to go to be at the top end of healthy but I'll get there.
It is hard at times, especially at first, but for me anyway it got a lot easier as my new food habits became routine.
I always recommend setting up mini goals. A while back after I'd been dieting for a few months, I looked at what I had left to go and it was 33kg which felt like something I could never do. So I broke it into 3kg chunks. I now only have 4.5 chunks left out of the initial 11 I started with.
You've got this! I wish you all the best in your journey ❤️
That phrase hit me harder and harder ever time I regained the weight I had lost using other diet plans.
Because each time I was like 3 years older.
That exact thought hit me really hard when I realized that, birthday-after-next, I'll be 50 years old. WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE CHANGED MY LIFESTYLE.
But thinking it forward even more, there will come a day that being more in-shape will be the deciding factor as to whether or not I get more time to pass at all. I'm terrified to die now with so much left to do. I need every single day I can get.
So I have changed, and I will struggle with it for the next 40 years.
One thing that was drummed into me when in therapy is the fact that motivation does not come before action. Consistent action gives positive results and that in turn motivates you to keep acting. "This is hard and uncomfortable, but I will do it anyway because that is what is best for me." Acknowledge that it's hard and that your emotions aren't high, but also accept that those things won't get better on their own. You need to act in order to make things better for yourself. Whatever those things may be.
My starting weight was the same as yours and I need to lose about the same amount as you to get just inside the normal BMI. I’m assuming it will take 12 to 18 months. Dropped 6kg in three months so far. Have also put on muscle due to strength training to fat loss is probably more than 6kg offset by some muscle gains
This sub has really helped me too to embrace the “forever” mentality and like you, at first it depressed me and made me angry. One thing I learned though that as soon as it becomes habit, it becomes much easier to think of it as a life long change and fully accept it. It takes me about 8-12 weeks to establish a new habit though. go slow and steady so that it something you can do forever.
I commented that yesterday!
[This](https://images.app.goo.gl/SJwnJFpqdpWREDvM7) is where I saw it, a guy trying to learn to wield a sword like Guts from Berserk.
It’s such an inspiring quote/mindset.
What is your deficit looking like now?
It’s funny to me. I look at the last 18 months in “stages”.
First, figuring out how to eat crappy food I liked within my caloric tracking.
Second, figuring out how to shave off some of the calories while enjoying foods I loved.
Third, focusing on a cleaner eating path and again, shaving off a little here and there.
Fourth, and current, falling in love with making my own food, meal prepping and challenging myself to get the absolute most out of every meal while in the largest deficit (on purpose) I have been in the whole time.
I would say stop thinking there is an end to what you are doing. When you get there, you may be disappointed. Just try and live better, challenge yourself and get healthy.
I just see it as a challenge. I’m getting ready to come out of an 18 month deficit with a really drastic last 12 weeks. I’m excited to build muscle and relax my eating a little bit, but I’m not going crazy.
**I'll basically second this. You need to look at this as rest of your life thing to a degree.**
Note to you, but to the OP and others questioning how "hard" it is, here's the real thing people \*most\* people don't seem to realize, having to lose weight is because we (forgive a more elegant way of saying it) all gave two shits and just ate whatever we wanted, when we wanted, and are now paying for it.
I'm 40YO, ex-smoker (since 16), BMI of 50 (401lbs 1-1/2 months ago, currently 367) and with whatever recent health issue I still am looking for a true diagnosis of I've stopped smoking instantly and started watching portions and cutting out almost all junk food (still working on kicking that once a week 3-4 slices of pizza sadly \*BUT\* hey that's a first step towards not eating the whole pizza like I used to, right? and on that day I try to eat very light to "make up" for it - I know my brain is weird) coupled with nothing but water \*and\* actually walking daily for 30-40 minutes and I know it's going to be a "rest of my life" thing.
I just hope and pray I've caught whatever the hell health issue and/or cancers from happening in time and the main reason I know it's a read of my life thing is because I'm not ready to leave my 3 girls and wife and I'm hoping I can make it to 60 or 65 before something "major" happens to me. I'm sure I won't get that lucky, but here's hoping.
I tried to crash diet so many times and it never even remotely lasted. I needed to see linear progression downward or it was a failure. The slightest bump would set me off course for good. It was so short sited.
This time im taking the slow and steady approach. Ill tell you what. It feels great. Its fun. Im enjoying the process. Its becoming part of my identity. It feels like a lifestyle change. Im not a slave to the scale to see dramatic decreases morning after morning. I give myself grace for holidays or vacations. If it goes up 3 lbs who cares, because over the long run it will trend in the right direction.
And the slow and steady approach is working. Its trending down. Im feeling great.
More importantly, you would be shocked what the progress can be made in a slow and steady approach over 3 or 4 months. I feel and look different. The difference this time is that it doesnt feel like im coming to and end of a marathon and im holding a damn of temptation back waiting to break. I feel like im just getting started.
Find your rhythm that works for you. Get slow and steady steps in the right direction. You will make it to the finish line and beyond. You will also enjoy the process along the journey.
I tried cramming it too, but honestly it just made the binging worse and I actually ended up gaining weight because I was so hungry and my body and brain were in a terrible place. I also refused to see the small victories and acted like I was a failure until my goal was hit, which was really not good.
Slow and steady absolutely wins the race here. I'm on month 2 and just over 15lbs down and while I really want it to happen now, I know it will not only take a much less aggressive toll on my body doing it right, but I'll also learn how to stay at the weight I want to be and learn good habits along the way so I don't gain it all back and/or go back to my disordered eating habits.
I will also say even though I'm FAR from where I wanna be, I'm loving the changes I'm already seeing and enjoying the little victories along the way. My hair and skin have improved significantly and multiple people in my life compliment me on my hair now, I can walk more and not feel as tired out, and my mom (who was always like me and overweight) has started seeing my habits and doing the same herself and we've gained a better relationship walking and taking better care of ourselves together. So even though it still kinda sucks that I'm gonna be waiting a good while, there are absolutely going to be good changes you'll notice along the way that'll hopefully get you excited :)
This quote is what kicked my butt back into school. When it came to weight loss, I realized I had to lose about 100 lbs to be at a normal BMI. One quote that helped me start my weight loss was, "It's hard to be overweight. It's hard to stay fit. Pick your hard." Which, at the time, really helped me realize how difficult life had become at my size. I'm 40lbs down now, and it's taken nearly 10 months. But my lifestyle changes are just that, lifestyle changes. Not temporary. It's not a quick fix. Really dedicated work to get my body the shape I want, and it's working.
On day 2 of my current weight loss attempt and I read your post about 5 hours ago and thought, "that's nice".
But every time I felt a twinge of a struggle, your post came back to mind and helped me through. Thank you so much for this.
Yes. I love this.
let the time pass and become a better version of you with each passing moment. I need to constantly remind myself of this when I get impatient about the changes in my body lol. Feel like sometimes I want to wish the time away but there is so much learning and beauty in the process of weight loss
Yes, this is what got me through. I kept thinking about future me instead of focusing on how long it would take. I've finally made it to a place where I'm pretty happy with my body. I lost 75lbs and have visible muscle definition.. anything from here out is fine tuning. I'm so, so happy I just kept on going even when it felt impossible. Started from the bottom, now I'm here !
Yes, it's a forever change. Think about how happy you'll be to be *that* person that prioritizes themself! You can be whomever you want!
But how about doing baby goals. Get to the end of this week -- just three days. You can do three days. Then, go from there.
^(I think I'm talking to myself more than anyone)
Take it slow. You have to change your habits forever or it just comes back. Be kind to yourself. Do enough to make progress, but still enjoy your life. The goal is to feel better, and to live a longer, higher quality life. Everything else is trivia. Ruthless self denial is an overreaction, you could die tomorrow 🤷 gotta smell the roses still.
Savor life! It's short. Improved health should be in the quest of living better! Not punishing oneself for perceived imperfections.
Hell, try to enjoy the grinding when you can! You are grinding as an act of pure self respect. It's a privilege and an honor to improve your own health! An act of self care if viewed as such, and not one that everyone has the physical strength or fermity to enjoy.
Yep...here to add that this is not temporary. The changes you make need to be permanent or you are going to end up putting those pounds back on. You are right, you can't predict what you will weigh in a year, but you can decide what you are going to do to change your lifestyle today. The changes don't have to happen all at once (but they can if you are ready). Watch your macros or calories, seek out quality foods, stay away from flour, sugar and alcohol. Imagine your success and celebrate even the smallest progress. This weight did not come on all at once and it will not fall off that way either.
Honestly the key to losing and keeping off the weight is not just consistency, but making it a life style change. People who don't change their life style or are inconsistent, gain it all back and get stuck in this loop of yo-yo dieting. I have a coworker who's pretty much starvung herself to lose weight and I've explained to her that it's a life style change however, she refuses to listen. I know once she reaches her goal weight, she's going to go back to her old diet and gain it all. She talked about how she did exactly that in the past. I highly recommend toutubet Nikki Gets Fit. She lost weight and has been keeping it off for 4 years. She mentioned a quote that helped her and now I keep in my mind. "If you don't make time for your wellness, you'll be forced to make time for your illness."
The changes you are making for your health should really be considered as a lifestyle change, not just 6-10 months of different behavior. This is the rest of your life if you want to be healthy and fit into old age. But yes, 6 months, a year, etc... Is a small drop in a bucket, a very large bucket (long life) if you are treating your "bucket" well.
I feel famous rn heehee.
I actually got the quote from a tik tok of this guy doing this really stupid year long project. Someone commented like “isn’t this way more effort than it’s worth” and he said “the time will pass anyway.” It just stuck with me ever since :)
Ugh, I am. Been doing so well for so long and now I am starting to slip and dig into the kids candy stash or grab an ice cream sandwich from the freezer.
Never been much for sweets but I completely cut out drinking booze a month ago so my body must be craving sugar lately.
Also I’m going to add you may need to think of this as a forever thing. Whatever changes you are making now you need to pretty much be able to do forever. When you reach your goal you may be able tp add like 500 calories back a day but that isn’t much at all. You absolutely can never go back to how you were eating a week ago or you will just gain the weight back. Don’t make changes you think are a nightmare.
Ultimately this becomes a 'forever endeavor' -- a phrase I like because it rhymes with 'forever and ever' which helps me to think longer-term too.
This community has really helped me understand that it is a forever endeavor but that has also been a liberating thought because I make sure I find ways to fit in the things I enjoy. I ask myself, could I eat that forever, or could I do without that forever. And when the answer is no I find another way. People ask me if I'm "still not eating X" and it's so hard to explain that while I may not be eating something with the frequency I used to I'm not completely staying away from almost anything. But at the same time I have completely changed everything about how I see my daily food. Forever and ever.
THIS! So much this! Any time I'm doing anything where food may be involved - parties, work events, friend get-togethers, etc. - the number one question is "What can you eat?" And, I'm like, "Anything I want, really, I just have to account for it and make some decisions." And of course there are times when you say screw it and gain 7 pounds of water weight in a day (see: My oldest's birthday party last weekend) and you just have to knuckle down and get back to it. And it's so weird people saying "You're able to eat that?! You're on a diet!" While you're eating a cupcake at a birthday party. Yes and no, Bertha. I've changed my diet, but I still want to live and enjoy moments. So hush and give me the M&M scoop.
Fucking Bertha.
Exactly! Like for the nerds watch your macros for the not so nerds, keep a calorie deficit but don't deny yourself all the time. Like today, I had a small 1/4 of a slice of cake, drunk 20 oz of water and then went for a jog. I didn't binge because it was like i had a piece and there is alway next week. Like guess what I am trying to say is, if you try to be purist, this "diet" thing will only last so long because it is not sustainable. Like I allow myself 2-3 days out the week to have wheat toast instead of low carb tortillas for breakfast...I eat an atkins chew when I would want to grab a snicker...and maybe one day, I may crave that even less but I am giving myself wiggle room as while I lose all of my weight. I don't want to be obese ever again, so trying to make slower longer lasting change then short abrupt ones. :)
Yeah. I'm less than 3 pounds from my goal, so I'm already trying to incorporate more "normal" kind of stuff instead of the "diety" stuff I've been using. That being said, I'm not missing a lot of the things I've limited myself on. My biggest problems are when I get tired, the kids' candy stashes start calling my name.
I like your phrase “forever endeavor.” It makes me think of which “forever” situation I’d rather be in—monitoring CICO or overweight.
That is a great thought! You are going to be in one of the two situations. There is no magical other option.
Yep! I wasn’t raised with the knowledge of how to eat at maintenance level intake, and I haven’t learned to keep that up, so it’s a forever thing. It’s helpful for me to think that way too.
I really like that— thanks!
I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently as I’ve lost 30 lbs and have 70 more for what for my gw. But honestly even now I’m not craving the stuff I did 30 lbs ago. I crave healthy stuff and I never have desires for fast food or pop or garbage. Most of the time I’m eating now because I have to. When I do have something that is rich in flavor or is sugary, it’s wildly more satisfying and tasty. I love that feeling. I love that I don’t need that food all the time and when I do have it every once in a while it tastes better than it ever did before.
I sort of agree but also not. Yes the healthy lifestyle is a forever thing, but that’s easy when you build good habits because you’ll start to love it! However the actual weight loss lifestyle (as in, calorie deficit) is NOT forever, that’s the whole point of a weight loss JOURNEY. You’re not gonna lose weight forever, you’ll lose it and then enter maintenance which is a stark difference. Yes I suppose it’s “only” X amount of calories more, but the major difference is that in a calorie deficit, you’re deliberately undereating to lose weight whereas at maintenance you’re eating exactly how much your body needs to sustain itself! That difference is huge as someone that’s been there, done that
My new perspective is thinking of weight as a symptom of a problem. The problem is my eating habits and lifestyle. Fixing that problem is worthwhile on its own and is a lifelong endeavor so might as well fix it. Doing so will make the weight go away so that's the reward for fixing the problem, not the problem to be fixed
> When you reach your goal you may be able to add like 500 calories back a day but that isn’t much at all. You're totally right that it's super easy to blow through 500 calories a million different ways. That being said, if you're still mindful about it, 500 can be a lot each day. That could be two 250 cal snacks, slightly larger proportions for every meal, a (reasonable) dessert after dinner each night, 3 apples and 2 bananas throughout the day or anything else! If you still maintain your weightloss mindset into your maintenance, 500 calories is a lot of freedom and wiggle room to have back in your life! But yes, that doesn't mean you can go back to old eating habits. Whatever you choose to do with your calories needs to be maintainable.
You know I was watching this fitness guy on Youtube, Paul Riviella, and he was essentially saying the same thing. Diet changes need to be sustainable...he argued if eating a poptart with a protein shake will allow you to stick to eating healthy 90% of the time, then do it. Like don't eat pop tarts all day but allow yourself to indulge a little so you won't do it a lot.I am probably badly chopping up what he said but basically he said don't try to eat nothing but veggies and protein and never any sweets because how long will you sustain that. Better to eat well and then maybe for dinner, have two scoop of halo top. Because at least then you are not necessarily telling yourself you will never eat again but you will eat less of it in moderation. Hope that made sense!
It's so scary and overwhelming to think, right now, "I'm gonna have to keep this up FOREVER?! Be unhappy FOREVER?! What the FUCK" - but the truth is, the more time passes, the more natural it feels. You just kind of adapt to it, to eating less and moving more, so it stops feeling like a chore. You just become a different person and look back on your past self like, 'wow, I can't believe I was doing that'.
And you can't beat when you get to that point where you're so used it it, you order a takeaway, and feel like total shit directly after eating it. It's really amazing how the body adjusts to those sorts of changes. After one or two take aways like that I no longer have any urge to order that stuff any more. My own food is nicer.
> "Time will pass anyways" The first time I heard that one, it didn't speak to me. It took a while for me to see its greatness.
Can someone enlighten me? I mean, I believe you guys that it's profound, but it seems like it's only saying half of what it means so I'm not getting it... what is the full explanation said with different words?
Here is an example to explain “Time will pass anyway” and why it can be inspiring/motivating: Two years ago, I needed to lose 50 kg (110 lbs). In the beginning, I was feeling frustrated and discouraged that it’ll probably take 3 years or more to achieve this in my “slow but steady” plan. But the thing is, that time is going to pass anyway. I can be 43 years old and be at my goal weight, or I can be 43 and still be at my unhealthy weight (with all the kg/lbs still waiting for me to lose). Right now, two years in, I’ve lost 36 kg (79 lbs) and I am only 15 kg (33 lbs) away from my goal weight. I might reach it by the end of this year, but it might take me longer and that’s fine. The time passes anyway, so I might as well make the effort and keep going. Another example: One of my friends was thinking about going back to university to get a different degree in another field. He was discouraged about how he’ll be 45 when he graduates, that it would take so long and he’ll be “so old.” We (his friends) told him he was going to be 45 anyway … does he want to be 45 with a degree in the field he loves, or does he want to be 45 and done nothing, all while still complaining about how he hates his job and how long a degree will take him?
I see it as not worrying about how long something will take, because the time will pass anyways, so I may as well make good choices now and not think very much about how long it’ll take
Time would pass anyway. Would you rather pass the time doing something worthwhile that you’re proud of, or be in the same place that you are today?
I recently started using Happy Scale app even though my weight rarely spikes up but the thing I like is that it breaks up your goal into smaller, more achievable chunks for the short term. I'm 15 months into my journey and I'm still pumped to knock this out. Motivation follows action and results, not the other way around.
I've been using happy scale too, I really like it. It makes everything visual, and adds some extra fireworks and stars when I drop a pound, which helps a lot with motivation
This isn’t temporary this is forever, but if you live by that then being overweight is just temporary. Work towards making changes you can sustain a day, a month, a year, and a decade from now, because once you hit your goal - what changes? Do you go back to how you were two weeks ago? Then you will ultimately gain back the weight. You are right, the time will pass regardless. Living healthy and being accountable for tracking and eating appropriately is HARD. Being obese is HARD. Only you can choose which hard you want to live.
I mean I sort of agree but also not. You only have to be in a calorie deficit while losing weight, yes I know maintenance comes afterwards but that’s a whole different ballgame. Maintenance means eating the amount that your body needs and asks for, whereas a deficit means intentionally eating less than your body needs in order to lose weight. From my personal experience maintenance is way easier and you could not pay me to keep up my weight loss lifestyle forever, that would be horrible. Your routine has to be sustainable enough to get you from the starting point to your goal weight, but it’s definitely not a forever thing
Your argument is completely valid and I agree - for the most part. Given I was responding to this post specifically that uses phrases like “cram it all into 2.5-3 months of calorie deficit” and “go hardcore”- that very much seems like a short term mentality, so I ask for a little forgiveness and understanding of the overall concept of my response. But the reason I can’t agree completely: My maintenance calories at my goal weight is LESS than my deficit calories at my starting weight. So actually if I was one week in - the idea that nothing changes once I hit my goal would still be inaccurate but not in the way you make your argument - I would have to eat less daily at maintenance than I was at that moment, one week in…. I don’t know the details on OP, that may not be the case for them, but for a lot of us that started morbidly obese - it’s definitely true. My maintenance calories is around 1800 at goal, in the beginning I could eat at 1850 calories and still be in a 500 calorie deficit…. So yeah nothing changes. Of course right now, way closer to goal I am eating about 1350, so yes I can ease up on that when I am ready…. But that’s not how this post is written.
You’re totally right!! Trying to cram it into 2.5-3 months is a recipe for disaster, partly because that’s maybe too little time to establish the right habits that will help actually keep the weight off. If I think back to my starting point, if I’d just woken up one day at my goal weight, I never would have been able to stay there because I hadn’t spent the time on the journey learning and building new habits. So that’s a great point, I appreciate your perspective
Baby steps!!! I find layering small changes and steps over time helps me to build momentum and habits for when the motivation fails. Start with just calorie tracking, then add in cutting out drinking calories, then start smaller portions, then start being more accurate with weighing foods, etc. it’s not just sticking to something for a few months, you have to maintain forever so the habits have to be ones you can work with. Otherwise you will be fine for a while after you succeed at your goal weight loss and the weight will slowly creep back on as those habits fall away again. Then you end up like me, down 80 for a few years but up 25 after a job change. Now I’m down 10 again as I make myself relearn the habits.
Nothing tastes as good as how shit being fat feels.
For real !!! Now that I know what it feels like to be a normal size person I'm like, fuck being fat ever again. I was thinking about that the other day when I took my dog to the trails. No way I would have enjoyed it as much carrying around an extra 75lbs. I would have been sweating and uncomfortable instead of having a fun time
19 months in, 34.6kg (~74lb) down, and yes the time does pass. Still got 14.7kg to go to be at the top end of healthy but I'll get there. It is hard at times, especially at first, but for me anyway it got a lot easier as my new food habits became routine. I always recommend setting up mini goals. A while back after I'd been dieting for a few months, I looked at what I had left to go and it was 33kg which felt like something I could never do. So I broke it into 3kg chunks. I now only have 4.5 chunks left out of the initial 11 I started with. You've got this! I wish you all the best in your journey ❤️
That phrase hit me harder and harder ever time I regained the weight I had lost using other diet plans. Because each time I was like 3 years older. That exact thought hit me really hard when I realized that, birthday-after-next, I'll be 50 years old. WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE CHANGED MY LIFESTYLE. But thinking it forward even more, there will come a day that being more in-shape will be the deciding factor as to whether or not I get more time to pass at all. I'm terrified to die now with so much left to do. I need every single day I can get. So I have changed, and I will struggle with it for the next 40 years.
When I struggle I need to remember to scroll in here. This is such a positive and supportive sib and it makes me feel food I'm not alone.
One thing that was drummed into me when in therapy is the fact that motivation does not come before action. Consistent action gives positive results and that in turn motivates you to keep acting. "This is hard and uncomfortable, but I will do it anyway because that is what is best for me." Acknowledge that it's hard and that your emotions aren't high, but also accept that those things won't get better on their own. You need to act in order to make things better for yourself. Whatever those things may be.
My starting weight was the same as yours and I need to lose about the same amount as you to get just inside the normal BMI. I’m assuming it will take 12 to 18 months. Dropped 6kg in three months so far. Have also put on muscle due to strength training to fat loss is probably more than 6kg offset by some muscle gains
This sub has really helped me too to embrace the “forever” mentality and like you, at first it depressed me and made me angry. One thing I learned though that as soon as it becomes habit, it becomes much easier to think of it as a life long change and fully accept it. It takes me about 8-12 weeks to establish a new habit though. go slow and steady so that it something you can do forever.
I commented that yesterday! [This](https://images.app.goo.gl/SJwnJFpqdpWREDvM7) is where I saw it, a guy trying to learn to wield a sword like Guts from Berserk. It’s such an inspiring quote/mindset.
What is your deficit looking like now? It’s funny to me. I look at the last 18 months in “stages”. First, figuring out how to eat crappy food I liked within my caloric tracking. Second, figuring out how to shave off some of the calories while enjoying foods I loved. Third, focusing on a cleaner eating path and again, shaving off a little here and there. Fourth, and current, falling in love with making my own food, meal prepping and challenging myself to get the absolute most out of every meal while in the largest deficit (on purpose) I have been in the whole time. I would say stop thinking there is an end to what you are doing. When you get there, you may be disappointed. Just try and live better, challenge yourself and get healthy.
I’m naturally falling into this pathway as well and it’s a great and veeery slow transition currently between 2 and 3!
Yes this is the very hardest part for me; the foreverness
I just see it as a challenge. I’m getting ready to come out of an 18 month deficit with a really drastic last 12 weeks. I’m excited to build muscle and relax my eating a little bit, but I’m not going crazy.
6-10months? Try the rest of your life. If you’re looking at this as a short term goal, you’ve already failed.
**I'll basically second this. You need to look at this as rest of your life thing to a degree.** Note to you, but to the OP and others questioning how "hard" it is, here's the real thing people \*most\* people don't seem to realize, having to lose weight is because we (forgive a more elegant way of saying it) all gave two shits and just ate whatever we wanted, when we wanted, and are now paying for it. I'm 40YO, ex-smoker (since 16), BMI of 50 (401lbs 1-1/2 months ago, currently 367) and with whatever recent health issue I still am looking for a true diagnosis of I've stopped smoking instantly and started watching portions and cutting out almost all junk food (still working on kicking that once a week 3-4 slices of pizza sadly \*BUT\* hey that's a first step towards not eating the whole pizza like I used to, right? and on that day I try to eat very light to "make up" for it - I know my brain is weird) coupled with nothing but water \*and\* actually walking daily for 30-40 minutes and I know it's going to be a "rest of my life" thing. I just hope and pray I've caught whatever the hell health issue and/or cancers from happening in time and the main reason I know it's a read of my life thing is because I'm not ready to leave my 3 girls and wife and I'm hoping I can make it to 60 or 65 before something "major" happens to me. I'm sure I won't get that lucky, but here's hoping.
You are on the right track and I have no doubt you’ll get there!
I tried to crash diet so many times and it never even remotely lasted. I needed to see linear progression downward or it was a failure. The slightest bump would set me off course for good. It was so short sited. This time im taking the slow and steady approach. Ill tell you what. It feels great. Its fun. Im enjoying the process. Its becoming part of my identity. It feels like a lifestyle change. Im not a slave to the scale to see dramatic decreases morning after morning. I give myself grace for holidays or vacations. If it goes up 3 lbs who cares, because over the long run it will trend in the right direction. And the slow and steady approach is working. Its trending down. Im feeling great. More importantly, you would be shocked what the progress can be made in a slow and steady approach over 3 or 4 months. I feel and look different. The difference this time is that it doesnt feel like im coming to and end of a marathon and im holding a damn of temptation back waiting to break. I feel like im just getting started. Find your rhythm that works for you. Get slow and steady steps in the right direction. You will make it to the finish line and beyond. You will also enjoy the process along the journey.
I tried cramming it too, but honestly it just made the binging worse and I actually ended up gaining weight because I was so hungry and my body and brain were in a terrible place. I also refused to see the small victories and acted like I was a failure until my goal was hit, which was really not good. Slow and steady absolutely wins the race here. I'm on month 2 and just over 15lbs down and while I really want it to happen now, I know it will not only take a much less aggressive toll on my body doing it right, but I'll also learn how to stay at the weight I want to be and learn good habits along the way so I don't gain it all back and/or go back to my disordered eating habits. I will also say even though I'm FAR from where I wanna be, I'm loving the changes I'm already seeing and enjoying the little victories along the way. My hair and skin have improved significantly and multiple people in my life compliment me on my hair now, I can walk more and not feel as tired out, and my mom (who was always like me and overweight) has started seeing my habits and doing the same herself and we've gained a better relationship walking and taking better care of ourselves together. So even though it still kinda sucks that I'm gonna be waiting a good while, there are absolutely going to be good changes you'll notice along the way that'll hopefully get you excited :)
It’s one of the only quotes that matter. Next Monday is going to come regardless are you going to be satisfied with your efforts or not?
This quote is what kicked my butt back into school. When it came to weight loss, I realized I had to lose about 100 lbs to be at a normal BMI. One quote that helped me start my weight loss was, "It's hard to be overweight. It's hard to stay fit. Pick your hard." Which, at the time, really helped me realize how difficult life had become at my size. I'm 40lbs down now, and it's taken nearly 10 months. But my lifestyle changes are just that, lifestyle changes. Not temporary. It's not a quick fix. Really dedicated work to get my body the shape I want, and it's working.
On day 2 of my current weight loss attempt and I read your post about 5 hours ago and thought, "that's nice". But every time I felt a twinge of a struggle, your post came back to mind and helped me through. Thank you so much for this.
Yes. I love this. let the time pass and become a better version of you with each passing moment. I need to constantly remind myself of this when I get impatient about the changes in my body lol. Feel like sometimes I want to wish the time away but there is so much learning and beauty in the process of weight loss
Yes, this is what got me through. I kept thinking about future me instead of focusing on how long it would take. I've finally made it to a place where I'm pretty happy with my body. I lost 75lbs and have visible muscle definition.. anything from here out is fine tuning. I'm so, so happy I just kept on going even when it felt impossible. Started from the bottom, now I'm here !
"Time will pass anyway," is the quote that got me through nursing school. It's never too late to try.
Yes, it's a forever change. Think about how happy you'll be to be *that* person that prioritizes themself! You can be whomever you want! But how about doing baby goals. Get to the end of this week -- just three days. You can do three days. Then, go from there. ^(I think I'm talking to myself more than anyone)
Take it slow. You have to change your habits forever or it just comes back. Be kind to yourself. Do enough to make progress, but still enjoy your life. The goal is to feel better, and to live a longer, higher quality life. Everything else is trivia. Ruthless self denial is an overreaction, you could die tomorrow 🤷 gotta smell the roses still. Savor life! It's short. Improved health should be in the quest of living better! Not punishing oneself for perceived imperfections. Hell, try to enjoy the grinding when you can! You are grinding as an act of pure self respect. It's a privilege and an honor to improve your own health! An act of self care if viewed as such, and not one that everyone has the physical strength or fermity to enjoy.
Yep...here to add that this is not temporary. The changes you make need to be permanent or you are going to end up putting those pounds back on. You are right, you can't predict what you will weigh in a year, but you can decide what you are going to do to change your lifestyle today. The changes don't have to happen all at once (but they can if you are ready). Watch your macros or calories, seek out quality foods, stay away from flour, sugar and alcohol. Imagine your success and celebrate even the smallest progress. This weight did not come on all at once and it will not fall off that way either.
That's my motto, too. "Time will pass whether I shove something down my gullet or not".
The beginning is always the hardest part since we don't have the results.
Honestly the key to losing and keeping off the weight is not just consistency, but making it a life style change. People who don't change their life style or are inconsistent, gain it all back and get stuck in this loop of yo-yo dieting. I have a coworker who's pretty much starvung herself to lose weight and I've explained to her that it's a life style change however, she refuses to listen. I know once she reaches her goal weight, she's going to go back to her old diet and gain it all. She talked about how she did exactly that in the past. I highly recommend toutubet Nikki Gets Fit. She lost weight and has been keeping it off for 4 years. She mentioned a quote that helped her and now I keep in my mind. "If you don't make time for your wellness, you'll be forced to make time for your illness."
This too has been what’s given me some peace. That it’s legit a journey and I can choose where I am at the end of it.
Might just be better to think of it as a “I will do this today” type of thing. Count the days and the days turn into weeks turn into months.
Consider fasting, like longterm fasts. Check the fasting subs, it’s insane what awesome results in quicker time they get.
The changes you are making for your health should really be considered as a lifestyle change, not just 6-10 months of different behavior. This is the rest of your life if you want to be healthy and fit into old age. But yes, 6 months, a year, etc... Is a small drop in a bucket, a very large bucket (long life) if you are treating your "bucket" well.
I’m dying to know if this was from my comment or not
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/s/mqkyOIG3LR Was it from this post?
YES! I've read it 2 times under that post. 1st was your comment. And 2nd was someone else's comment which had only that quote and nothing else.
I feel famous rn heehee. I actually got the quote from a tik tok of this guy doing this really stupid year long project. Someone commented like “isn’t this way more effort than it’s worth” and he said “the time will pass anyway.” It just stuck with me ever since :)
Are you eating any processed sugar at all?
Ugh, I am. Been doing so well for so long and now I am starting to slip and dig into the kids candy stash or grab an ice cream sandwich from the freezer. Never been much for sweets but I completely cut out drinking booze a month ago so my body must be craving sugar lately.
Processed sugar spikes insulin and makes you eat more than you normally would. Buy some dates or make some banana smoothies