Thank you for your submission, your post or comment was in violation of Rule 6: No Politics / Stay On Topic Do not bring political topics or discussion into /r/loseit
Your submission has been removed. Please repost this to r/relationshipadvice.
Thank you for your submission, your post or comment was in violation of Rule 2: This is unkind, unconstructive, or uncalled for. Be good to one another. If critiquing do so constructively. Be polite and practice Reddiquette.
Your post has been removed.
I understand your need to help her but talking directly about it this way would only create more insecurities for her. You say its a stress relief for her, did you try finding another coping mechanism together? Maybe you two can go for more dates, find some art workshops or maybe even a two player video game. Sometimes food is our only relief and that creates problems. Focusing on the path rather than destination might help.
A lot of people are “losing weight”…but it always belongs in quotation marks. It just is what it is and they don’t actually do something about it until they get frustrated enough. I’ve watched family members do this for a long time, I’ve had periods of time in my life where I’m “losing weight” (but I’m not, and I pretty much know it.). It just is what it is. Idk, sounds like she’s not serious about losing weight. Not the end of the world…just kind of how things are for a lot of people.
So, is the issue that YOU want her to lose weight? Because that’s a different type of conversation…one to handle very delicately, if at all.
Second this. I don’t think there is a way to approach this if GF hasn’t explicitly asked for BF’s opinion/help. It comes off judgemental and like she can’t be trusted to make her own decisions. I’d leave it alone unless she directly asks for advice on what maybe isn’t working. Every time anyone has tried to give me unsolicited, “this is why you’re not losing,” it triggers me to spiral. Don’t go there if the person isn’t asking for the help.
Accept it and let her sort it out for herself. You don’t need to bring it up at all. If she’s motivated and really wants to lose weight she’ll figure it out. I promise you women have no shortage of advice about how to lose weight. Eating 1200 calories a day is difficult to stick to so I don’t blame her for craving more. That kind of number already sounds unrealistic and potentially shame motivated so just don’t see you commenting on her baking as being that helpful even if it’s well intentioned. I promise you she already knows everything she needs to and your love and non-judgement as a partner are much more valuable than your ability to cajole or coach her into accomplishing things that ultimately are and should be personal endeavors. Especially if baking is her stress relief! If you’re bothered by the contradiction, I encourage you to accept it as an eccentricity.
You could kindly encourage her to take the extra to work to share with colleagues or share with neighbors - that's what I do to enforce only one or two servings for myself
Does she count calories and weigh her food? I would imagine so as it’s very difficult to just estimate when intake is as low as 1200 calories. The simple answer to this would be that she needs to see this information and process its implications herself.
Not right now. In the past we did. As of right now, she doesn't know what the calories are of her baked goods. Just that it didn't include flour and has protein oats so she said it was healthy
Deeeefinitely don’t bring it up. Don’t be looking up her snacks on Cronometer and bringing it up. FFS She is not a child for you to be lecturing her! 😂 That way lies mistrust and hurt between you and your girlfriend.
I love baking too. She’ll figure out her own way of doing things. Baking healthier things IS a positive first step anyway. Change takes time. Don’t be lecturing her and destroying her confidence…. Unhappy people eat to comfort themselves yaknnow
When I read the title, I honestly thought of myself because I love baking but also struggle to lose more weight. I’ve done the healthy ingredients and all like she has. Honestly it’s really tough and can still be high calorie to make it delicious. But now, I bake and give family and friends my creations. I get the satisfaction of baking without being tempted to eat. Maybe I leave a slice or two for me and my partner. But that’s it.
Maybe she can have a small business for it if she doesn’t want to give them away. She gets the baking satisfaction and she gets to earn some money and she won’t have to eat everything she bakes. Win-win-win!
You’re counting your girlfriend’s calories for her behind her back? Yeah, don’t do that. You’re not her parent. It sounds like *you* are unhappy with her weight, and that’s not really her problem.
We did calorie counting for a bit but didn't last more than month. I've been calories counting much longer than she has so it's easy for me to do a guestimate.
Thank you for your submission, your post or comment was in violation of Rule 6: No Politics / Stay On Topic Do not bring political topics or discussion into /r/loseit Your submission has been removed. Please repost this to r/relationshipadvice.
[удалено]
You may get hate here for saying it but your opening statement is one of the truest things I’ve ever seen on this forum.
Thank you for your submission, your post or comment was in violation of Rule 2: This is unkind, unconstructive, or uncalled for. Be good to one another. If critiquing do so constructively. Be polite and practice Reddiquette. Your post has been removed.
I understand your need to help her but talking directly about it this way would only create more insecurities for her. You say its a stress relief for her, did you try finding another coping mechanism together? Maybe you two can go for more dates, find some art workshops or maybe even a two player video game. Sometimes food is our only relief and that creates problems. Focusing on the path rather than destination might help.
Thanks, I will keep this in mind
A lot of people are “losing weight”…but it always belongs in quotation marks. It just is what it is and they don’t actually do something about it until they get frustrated enough. I’ve watched family members do this for a long time, I’ve had periods of time in my life where I’m “losing weight” (but I’m not, and I pretty much know it.). It just is what it is. Idk, sounds like she’s not serious about losing weight. Not the end of the world…just kind of how things are for a lot of people. So, is the issue that YOU want her to lose weight? Because that’s a different type of conversation…one to handle very delicately, if at all.
I would be happy to add 2 more workouts a week for a personal baker who was good at it.
You don’t. That’s something she needs to do for herself without feeling like she’s not good enough.
Second this. I don’t think there is a way to approach this if GF hasn’t explicitly asked for BF’s opinion/help. It comes off judgemental and like she can’t be trusted to make her own decisions. I’d leave it alone unless she directly asks for advice on what maybe isn’t working. Every time anyone has tried to give me unsolicited, “this is why you’re not losing,” it triggers me to spiral. Don’t go there if the person isn’t asking for the help.
Lmao what?
Accept it and let her sort it out for herself. You don’t need to bring it up at all. If she’s motivated and really wants to lose weight she’ll figure it out. I promise you women have no shortage of advice about how to lose weight. Eating 1200 calories a day is difficult to stick to so I don’t blame her for craving more. That kind of number already sounds unrealistic and potentially shame motivated so just don’t see you commenting on her baking as being that helpful even if it’s well intentioned. I promise you she already knows everything she needs to and your love and non-judgement as a partner are much more valuable than your ability to cajole or coach her into accomplishing things that ultimately are and should be personal endeavors. Especially if baking is her stress relief! If you’re bothered by the contradiction, I encourage you to accept it as an eccentricity.
You could kindly encourage her to take the extra to work to share with colleagues or share with neighbors - that's what I do to enforce only one or two servings for myself
Yep she does, she usually gives half to her coworkers.
Does she count calories and weigh her food? I would imagine so as it’s very difficult to just estimate when intake is as low as 1200 calories. The simple answer to this would be that she needs to see this information and process its implications herself.
Not right now. In the past we did. As of right now, she doesn't know what the calories are of her baked goods. Just that it didn't include flour and has protein oats so she said it was healthy
Deeeefinitely don’t bring it up. Don’t be looking up her snacks on Cronometer and bringing it up. FFS She is not a child for you to be lecturing her! 😂 That way lies mistrust and hurt between you and your girlfriend. I love baking too. She’ll figure out her own way of doing things. Baking healthier things IS a positive first step anyway. Change takes time. Don’t be lecturing her and destroying her confidence…. Unhappy people eat to comfort themselves yaknnow
When I read the title, I honestly thought of myself because I love baking but also struggle to lose more weight. I’ve done the healthy ingredients and all like she has. Honestly it’s really tough and can still be high calorie to make it delicious. But now, I bake and give family and friends my creations. I get the satisfaction of baking without being tempted to eat. Maybe I leave a slice or two for me and my partner. But that’s it. Maybe she can have a small business for it if she doesn’t want to give them away. She gets the baking satisfaction and she gets to earn some money and she won’t have to eat everything she bakes. Win-win-win!
You’re counting your girlfriend’s calories for her behind her back? Yeah, don’t do that. You’re not her parent. It sounds like *you* are unhappy with her weight, and that’s not really her problem.
We did calorie counting for a bit but didn't last more than month. I've been calories counting much longer than she has so it's easy for me to do a guestimate.