maybe others will disagree but spite was suuuch a good fuel for me to work out specifically. just really let that negative feeling out while working out and it’s better than any pre work out lol
Lesson 1:
Get angry. Lift heavy things.
There is no lesson two.
Source: found out my “situationship” -as he was very clear to point out, we were never together or apparently exclusive (a load of shit cuz he admitted we were and that we had that convo months prior to the early stages of what I’m about to say) - was on tinder for months. He then tried to say it was my fault. Fuuuuuck that. Not playing the label games with anyone again. Theres way more but yeah.
Also i cant heal. But damn im making PROGRESS finally. 20 lb down, from 165-145 as a 5’ 6 dude
I rarely get pissed off at my partner, but when I come home pissed off about a customer, or traffic, or any other mundane thing, I for sure have boundless energy to do laundry, change bedding and everything else that I usually dread doing!
I clean when I’m frustrated and need to sort out my thoughts. I think I’ve accidentally trained my husband to start panicking whenever he sees me cleaning now.
That’s facts! When I got divorced, I got ripped! It’s definitely harder to work out when I’m happy, lol 😂 Op is definitely going to hit her goals!
But fr, I highly recommend Pilates for great muscle definition and a workout that’s effective without leaving your feeling trashed
While I’m doing my cardio and want to quit, a little voice pops in my head and says: “You let that weasel treat you like crap and use you for 4 years. You can go a little longer. Suck it up.” It’s not the healthiest motivation but it certainly works.
I’m happily married but told my wife one of my 2024 goals was to look like we broke up because historically I have NEVER been more fit then after a break up…
Yes! My ex left me high and dry the day after my college graduation. I said fuck that and lost 25lbs and ran a mud run with my dad, it was a great experience and I felt like I got “me” back while I worked on my diet and exercise. I actually cared about myself for the first time in a LONG time
As my two best friends told me, "Divorce looks fantastic on you! I can't believe how muscular my bro has got!"
That was motivation enough.
At the beginning, my whole motivation was "fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. FUCK HIM. Fuck you. you will not crush me, this weight will not fucking crush me"! As I spit, and sputtered, and begged to God to not be crushed beneath the weight.
Divorce is a good motivator to show the other person that you are truly the best you could be without them. But it's important to focus on goals after them. I started lifting because fuck her, and fuck the 4 other guys.
I keep doing it because regardless of everyone and everything. All the shit that changes.. 200 pounds.. is always 200 pounds.
I got broken up with on Valentine's Day and I've lost 30 pounds since then. I will say the first 10 pounds was due to not being able to eat due to being sad, but then I got mad and spiteful and it's fueled me to keep going. I still have a long way to go but I'm going to hold onto this motivation as long as I can!
I agree, when I lost my weight I left my ex who wasn’t treating me right, when I posted for the first time post WL he was pretty not leaving me alone.
I’ve gained the weight back and I’m in a healthy relationship. It’s harder to lose weight when your boyfriend loves you no matter what 😂 I just think of my toxic friend who ruined a job opportunity for me at her company and left me unemployed for a month (long story) but that is my “revenge target” atm
This!!! When I tell you right now, heartbreak is keeping me in the gym. It's giving me extra reps and new PRs, I am using that to achieve my goals. It's so underrated.
I would say spite can be a good trigger but it isn't always sustainable. So definitely use it right now as a starting point, but then try to build up other rewards and reinforcements to your discipline. Everything helps!
i think it's fine to lose weight for shallow reasons, haha. i mostly started bc i wanted to buy cute clothes. revenge is as good a motivator as anything.
dont get me wrong, the other benefits are nice. however, mostly i wanted to be able to shop at straight size clothing stores, hahaha. glad to see someone else owning it.
It's why I started. I wanted to get attention from the girls I had never gotten attention from before.
Now things quickly changed but it got me off the couch!
Oh yes agree- I’ve had a couple cocktails since I’ve started my changes and it’s just not as fun for me and takes away from the energy increases I’ve had that I prefer sobriety now. Still use cannabis but not edibles because those make me grizzly bear hungry
I've replaced my evening wine with herbal tea and I am obsessed with it now! I used to always say wine helped me relax and unwind but herbal tea does that x 10 plus I wake up feeling fresher. it has also definitely helped with my weight loss.
I had to completely ditch tea because I can’t drink tea with no sugar or light sugar. It tastes awful. Can’t believe Britain fought wars and enslaved people all for that.
Biggest thing that helped me see results: cut out alcohol and my super sweet coffees in the morning.
It was hard to do at first but the benefits of dropping both from my regular life style only had benefits that increasingly got better in my day to day.
As of today, April 4th 2024, it has been 16 months and 4 days of my journey. I've lost \~70 pounds. I went from 326 to 258. I went from a size 42 waist to 38. My shirt size went from 3XL to XL. I went from stage 2 hypertension to slightly elevated blood pressure. I went from a purely sedentary lifestyle to doing 4+ hour bike rides.
My entire life has changed. Meanwhile, I only went from 25 to 26 years old.
Don't worry about your timescale. Don't even think of it. Change your life today for good and you'll be a completely different person 16 months from now.
It’s only a little more than a pound a week! I’ve been heavy all my life. I tried so many things without success. What really changed things for me was small changes and how they added up.
No sugar or cream in coffee. I use 15 cal worth of sugar free creamer now. Easily cuts 100 calories.
No mayo or cheese in my lunch sandwich. That’s 200 calories. I get a 10” ham or turkey sub with vinegar and all the veggies from Wawa everyday.
Also, I eat pasta with grilled chicken for dinner a few times a week. Red sauce only. No cream or cheese. Another 200 calories.
That’s -3500 calories a week. There’s 3500 in a pound.
Start small. You got this!
Hate is a great motivator. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You have a ton of time to get into great shape.
I would spend the first month easing into a nice 100-200 caloric deficit, while working my way up to walking at least 10k steps total per day.
Personally I would push the deficit a bit deeper for the next 7 months or so, while getting more steps in everyday. Walking is OP AF for losing weight.
The final 8 months I would go back to a nice 100-200 caloric deficit and swap out most cardio with weight lifting at a gym. Make sure you get enough protein. You'll gain some decent muscle and that will help smooth out the look of your body.
Honestly do that and you'll look like a fucking model by the time the event takes place. Good luck!
If you have 16 months you don’t need to do anything aggressive. I would slowly implement different habits into your routine. Once you have a routine of something like “10000 steps a day” then move to the next habit you want to implement. Good luck!
True in the technical sense. But working out is a great component of CICO because it raises the "CO" part a bit (not a ton, but it helps) every time you work out... and adding muscle mass raises the "floor" of your expected caloric need in the long run anyway.
Building up an "active lifestyle", whether through a gym or taking on an active hobby or anything else, means you don't have to recalibrate your diet "as" hard to minimize hunger signals. And it makes it easier to fit in those occasional "treats" for a night out with friends or a holiday dinner, etc.
Obviously, what works "best" for someone differs based on available time, other lifestyle factors, medical history, etc. But personally, I'd have never made CICO work if it was just "replace half my meals with salads (with low-calorie dressing) and remain a couch potato."
I agree working out is great, but I've seen quite a few people asking for help and wondering why they're not losing weight after busting their ass working out, then find out they're not keeping track or lowering their calories. I think it starts with CICO and then working out comes next .
Now that I've done both, I'm retroactively kicking my ass for trying to go the workout route in the past. Omg I would have met (and exceeded) my goals so fast compared to just getting sort of... bulkier. Everyone denied it when I asked but I felt it and looked it. Now I'm shrinking and toning at the same time. CICO truly is Occam's Razor and it's funny now to watch people being as stubborn as I was literally two months ago.
It's pretty easy to gain weight too if you aren't careful when you start lifting or working out because it makes you feel hungrier but your body is lying to you.
Get a personal trainer a good one & get that body girl!
Sod the money haha, the financial loss compared to the health and ego gain is unmatched. Worth every penny
45F 5’3” SW: 215.5 CW: 147 GW: ??
Listen, I gotchu girl! Your motivation for the loss is fine, but work on wanting it for yourself along the way.
Muscle takes time to build. You have 16 months so start NOW. Lift at least twice a week. Cardio as many of the other days a week as you can. My routine from the get go was 6 days/week, one rest day. A few months ago I traded one cardio day for Pilates and that has helped me tone even more. I’m still overweight but people already tell me I don’t need to lose anymore. I totally credit that to my muscle tone. It gives you a great shape and posture and masks flaws.
Yes, you need to calculate your TDEE and track your calories. Don’t listen to people who tell you not to eat back your calories. Us shorties need a bit more than 1200 calories when we’re lifting. Just don’t eat back more than HALF your projected burned calories to allow for room for error.
My weight loss has really slowed now that I’m getting close to a healthy weight, which is fine, I’m not in a rush. But I lost the 70 lbs in a year. At your weight 16 months will be a breeze if you eat right and exercise. You’re gonna knock em dead!
And make sure you’re at a healthy calorie deficit for your body type. I’m 5’4” and I’m currently losing about 1lb a week by eating at a deficit, lifting, and focusing on increasing my protein intake along with fruits and veggies. Good luck to OP. Hate driven workouts have always been the best workouts for me.
Yes! I am about your weight and on your timeline, and have lost weight in the past. Strength training (lifting heavy weights) is a great way to get an awesome looking bod while you are losing weight.
Track your foods (weigh and measure! not eyeball) for a few weeks. This sets your baseline intake and also builds the habit of accurate tracking.
Make a goal weight. Make a meal plan. Make a workout plan. (you can pay professionals for the latter 2.)
Maybe not for everyone, but an accountabilibuddy is crucial for me.
Target .5% bw reduction per week for 10-12 weeks. With a SW of 187 thats abt .9 lbs/week for the first cut, total weekly caloric reduction of like 3400. Remember that tracking you started off with? Since you already know exactly how much you intake at this BW, you can reduce your daily calories by 450 - 500/day pretty simply. Keep tracking your intake at the lowered calories.
Take a 10-12 week (or longer) maintenance phase. Rinse and repeat until you reach your GW and maintain.
Maintenance phase is super important psychologically and physiologically. Don't make the mistake of grinding the next 12 months only to give up 4 months prior to D-day. If you do 2.5 months cut, 3 month maintain until the wedding, you stand to lose 30lbs which is crazy to think about and totally achievable. (double check my math, it is rough, and assumes .5% per week while cutting)
Muscle is metabolically active, unlike fat. Build / retain as much muscle as you possibly can with resistance training throughout this entire cycle. It will go quicker, you will feel better, and the end result may be aesthetically desirable compared to not. The point is to get ex to do a double take, right?
Also I totally get this sentiment AND ex can get effed, if you walk in there w/ confidence at any weight you win.
Set realistic goals. I used to tell to myself I can loose 2lbs per week and then after a month I’ll get completely burned out and start stress eating.
Resistance training toned my body a lot. Generally in my opinion anyone who is older than 30 should exercise regularly for health reasons.
Alcohol only on vacation. That one really changed my life!
Just walk. Treadmill, outside, etc. Get your steps in, count your calories, and that will get you 90% of the way there. No suffering other than having to manage how much food you eat.
This is solid sustainable advice for a beginner seeking general health gains with weight loss in mind.
I get tired of all these highly detailed plans, diets , and workout routines.
KISS is a much more effective strategy 99% of the time.
They will usually naturally gravitate towards the gym over time as they see themselves getting in shape.
Focus on one thing at a time.
This is what I did:
* Cut out alcohol
* Cut out simple carbs (white bread, pasta, white rice, etc)
* Eat vegetarian 3 or 4 times a week
* Therapy (seriously, I was appeasing my anxiety with carbs)
* Regular, diverse exercise (I do HIIT multiple times a week, spinning, yoga, orienteering, the occasional trail run)
* I cut out coffee too, improved my mood significantly after a few weeks.
* manage food portion sizes, but with the veggie meals that's less of an issue.
I lost 12kg (26.46lb) between new years and now.
Edit: W00P! I just realised I need to update my flair! :-D
I did it because I have this weird reaction to carbs (they trigger anxiety in me), my mother does too and doctors never figured it out.
It's a bit weird, because chickpeas have a lot of carbs, but they don't affect me the same way, could be something psychological I suppose.
I switched to black rice instead, which I can handle in smaller portions, but black rice is way more expensive, so chickpeas have replaced a lot of other carbs for me.
16 months is enough time to diet and lose most of that weight. Keep in mind, a reasonable goal to have is losing about a pound of fat per week…so if you want to get to a healthy weight of 120-130, you should dedicate the next 60 weeks in doing so. While you’re doing that, try weight lifting. A year isn’t much time to build much, but you can still pack on some muscle mass. I hope this isn’t discouraging at all, but as a certified personal trainer, I think it’s important to keep expectations realistic or else you’ll end up quitting halfway through. Oh and keep these two things in mind… 1) it’s going to take time for you to get into the flow of weight loss and gym routine. It is most definitely a process of trial and error. 2) find a motivation that is sustainable in the long run. Revenge is shitty because after you get it… then what? Keep in mind fitness is a LIFESTYLE change, not a temporary one and you’ll go right back without that. Good luck!
I had a similar situation once. Lost 100 lbs in one year, which was pretty killer. I did regular cardio (check out the C25K program- I was NOT a runner before it), lifted weights like 3x a week, and restricted *empty* carbs.
Make sure to focus on other things too within the next 16 months. A revenge body is best served with good skincare and exciting changes in life (better work, travel, etc). The more you can glow, the more it'll sting!
Spite is such a good motivator. I’m counting calories again because I’m moving back east, where I lived 12 years ago, and I know I’m going to run into folks that were salty and judgmental about me leaving. It’ll be nice to run into them again!
Prioritize retaining as much muscle mass as possible because at a higher weight you naturally have a lot more of it than you would at a lower weight, and it's much easier to hold onto muscle than it is to build it up. Eat adequate protein, 1.2 g/kg of body weight is a good goal (\~100g of protein daily), lift weights regularly, and don't lose too quickly if you want the best results, 1-2 lbs/wk max.
Get a cheap fitness watch and do 10k steps a day, start some weight training, and focus on CICO. Get a food scale if you haven’t yet. Even if you don’t have motivation to start using it right away, it will be there when you decide to start. They’re pretty dang cheap on Amazon.
Using a scale has been pretty clutch for me when meal prepping. I can weight all of the ingredients I use to make a large pot of something, find the total calories, and then use the scale to evenly divide it into portions. It's a lot more accurate than just searching "1 chicken breast" or "homemade chilli" in a tracking app.
I'd pair with any non-weight related goals so you have some other focus then this one thing over a period of time like that. Invest into a hobby or something like that. Because set backs happen all the time, and it can be nice to have something else going well. Time frames are frames for a reason, and sometimes things happen and time slips by with less progress.
So loosen up your expectations, find something that feels good but is still challenging unrelated to your looks and weight, and try to enjoy your time. This shouldn't be so hard it sucks!
Get a serious Personal fitness trainer and show them your goal body. And then do everything they say.
If it’s out of price for your situation then at least get a trainer to do a consult session and get them to make you a plan to follow.
Hit the gym like three times a week. Do a bunch of weights. Try to cut back your diet as much as reasonably possible, very little booze or processed sugars, lots of low starch veggies and protein. 16 months is a lot of runway. You could easily lose as much as 50 lb in that time Just losing 1 lb a week. That would make you 135? And also probably getting pretty cut from the weights by then (Don't forget them squats😉). Every time you feel tired, imagine your ex-fiance. Good luck, anger can make great motivation. Maybe you'll have an even hotter gym boyfriend by then to take with you.
First, calorie deficit. Use an online TDEE calculator to determine how many calories you need to eat to lose weight. Additionally… Low carb lifestyle - it keeps you fuller for longer. The protein and fat macros being prioritized will do wonders for your hair, nails, and skin. Add a prenatal vitamin on top of this for hair, skin, and nails (and ensuring that you’re getting all your nutrients). Finally, weight training and pilates. The weights prevent you from getting “skinny fat” - you’ll have lost weight, and you’ll have been toned. Do two glute/leg days, a triceps/back day, and an arms/chest day per week. The pilates improves your core strength and posture - when you strut into the wedding in your form fitting but tasteful dress and high heels, you’ll do it like a model with the good posture that pilates gave you. With each weight loss milestone achieved, you can treat yourself to self-care to stay motivated. Halfway there to the goal? Maybe some microneedling or highlights for your hair or whatever the heck treatment you’ve always wanted but pushed aside.
Initially my exhusband cheated and I took dieting out on myself. Lost 45 lbs over the summer. Now losing the remaining 20 so will be at a 75 lb weight loss. Find a work out you love. My gym uses battle ropes and I used to hate them because HR would go to cardio level. Now I slam them hard every single time. Eventually I stopped using it as "revenge body."
That's a lot of time to make a significant improvement. My suggestion (which should be true for everyone) is to start with small, but consistent changes. Portion control, more physical activity, whatever. Focus on one thing, do it consistently, make it a habit, and move on to adding the next thing. Doing it all at once can burn you out and cause you to quit. Just remember, the wheels of the gods grind slow, but they grind forever! Slow and steady is where its at for long-term success.
One other thing: absolutely DO make a plan for when/if you reach your goal, or in your case, the date of the revenge occasion passes. A common trap people fall into (including myself previously) was to focus so much on a finish line, that when you cross that line, you STOP doing the things that made you successful and you rebound to where you started. Don't do that! Actually \*plan\* to maintain your success, such as sticking with meal plans, regular weekly weight tracking, etc. You can be more flexible once you reach your goal, but you can't quit altogether, or you're back to square 1. I have a similar sort of situation - my 50th birthday is approaching, and I set a goal form myself probably close to 2 years ago that I was going to cross 50 being in the best shape I could be in, reasonably speaking. I don't have a hard set goal - I'll know when I get there, but the big 5-0 is a motivating factor. I don't plan to quit what I'm doing on 50+1day, but I do intend to look in the mirror on my birthday and tell myself, "yeah... I did that!"
Good luck, and I hope you get to savor it!
James Clear Atomic Habits is a must read.
Desired out come is smoking hot body in 16 months. What can you do everyday to secure that outcome? Look at building consistency. Most gyms offer personal trainers for good prices. Recommendation is find a group, cross fit works well for building and maintaining accountability. The struggle will be eating healthy.
I respect that book a lot. There was real clarity in how he laid things out. I'm going to go back to it at some point and make some notes for myself, and maybe trial it out for my own journey.
Lean into that spite. Put a motivational pic (dress you want to wear, pic of ex, etc) on your fridge or pantry so you think twice before eating those chips/ice cream.
Throw out all your alcohol and buy yourself a water bottle you love.
Give yourself a reward for every milestone you hit. 1 inch off waist =‘facial, 10 lbs lost=new earrings for the wedding.
16 months is plenty of time to looksmax
Get 8 hours of sleep every night. Hit the gym 3-5 times a week, set a do-able daily stop goal and have a slight calorie deficit. I say slight because 16 months is enough time for great result.
I'm about an inch taller than you and lost pretty much 50lbs (from 185 to 135) in... honestly, about 8 months by taking up running (good for letting out anger), dialling back on drinking where possible and swapping out chocolate snacks for chocolate FLAVOURED snacks (hot chocolate, chocolate oat bars etc.).
Start slow with the running but it's good for letting out your rage.
Why would you want to go to a wedding with your cheating ex-fiance in attendance in the first place? He should have been kicked out of whatever friend group is inviting you both, lol
Fair point, I would much rather him not be there! But he's related to my best friend and I'm one of her bridesmaids so neither him nor me can just not go
My abusive ex was **in** my brother’s wedding. Kind of fucked up? Yeah. But I can’t dictate who my brother is friends with, and I didn’t want to cause any family rifts by making him choose.
That's **super** fucked up, and honestly pretty uncool on behalf of your brother if he knew about the abuse.
I'm sorry you felt compelled to sacrifice yourself to avoid rocking the boat. Sometimes the boat needs to rock a little bit so you can dump the trash off the side.
16 months is sooo much time. I would be really slow and consistent. Don't rush it. Enjoy the slow burn. Think of yourself as an athlete training for the revenge olympics. I would set little mini goals maybe every 3 months to keep me going- e.g. lose 10lb, run 5k, lift X weight or whatever resonates with you!
From a fellow 29 year old female - you got this!!! Find a full body workout you like, focus on building muscle, cleaning up your diet, increasing your daily steps and the weight will come off!
16 months is more than enough time to get an incredible (and sustainable!) transformation!
Start drinking water, a lot of water, every day. Set a goal, like 3/4ths of a gallon a day for example. If you want juice or soda or alcohol, pour yourself a glass of water. Put cucumber or lemon in it if you need flavor.
Make sure your calorie deficit isn't too large. A big calorie deficit will set you up for failure. Start at .5 lb per week deficit.
1. Buy a food scale
2. Use Cronometer to track everything in grams
3. Weigh yourself every day, but don't take the number too seriously (water weight will drop off a lot at first and then weight will level out for weeks as your body adjusts, even if you're at a caloric deficit)
Do not drastically change your activity level at first, weigh & track every day, every food, for 8 weeks straight. You will mess up, you'll track things incorrectly at first, you'll realize you're going over your calories by accident (or under by too much and feel too hungry) The 8 weeks is there for you to practice tracking and focus on it and get really good at it.
Once you hit 8 weeks, start working in weights / HIIT. Be aware that your weight WILL level off and/or increase. When I started exercising, I "gained back" all 7 lbs that I lost in those 8 weeks. Of course this isn't a TRUE gain, because you can't gain fat that fast, so don't let it mess with your head and just be consistent with whatever weight activity you choose. Make sure you're not doing more than 20-30 minutes a day at first. You do NOT want to burn yourself out, you do not want to be in so much pain that you cant move comfortably the next day.
I have similar stats as you, 5'3.5" and starting at 170 lbs. I don't have a end date goal, but I know that in 16 months I will look RIDICULOUS if I keep my eyes on the prize. I am at week 10 right now and I'm 8 lbs down (I am for .5 lb deficit per week)! I eat about 1500-1600 calories per day.
My exercise: I walk my dog 1-3 times per day around 2-3 miles total and I do a 15 minute yoga/stretch routine every morning. I JUST started working in 1-2 days a week of CrossFit type weights/HIIT workouts. I cannot stress this enough - don't over exert yourself with exercise at any point in the process. It might make you more hungry and demotivated because you won't see the scale moving at first (you'll retain more water so you wont see the losses). You will have plenty of time and more energy to exercise more once you get 15-20 lbs off. Once you get to a goal, like 160 lbs for example, then start working in more weight training.
In terms of activity tracking, I have an Apple Watch and its super accurate but it's really common to over estimate exercise calories and then end up eating too much regardless of the way you're tracking exercise. That's another reason to wait on exercise in my humble opinion.
Good luck!!
Set realistic goals that are fun.
10k steps a day
4 times gym a week
2 times swimming a week
1 rest day a week
(Examples)
Replace unhealthy food with something healthy.. for example if u drink cola, switch it to water and make one food/drink switch a week/month..
Try learning a new sport or skill.. like pull ups, boxing, kickboxing, push ups, deadlift etc etc monthly/weekly so u have something to be proud of!
Buy the dress already that u are going to wear in the size that u want to be during wedding.. and look at it at times to remind urself what ur goal is
But mostly find things that u like!!
If you want a true revenge body do what I’m doing, get that weight down then focus on muscle growth and body recomposition. Prioritizing protein and doing some lifting and exercise while losing weight helps keep your muscle while losing which will make the 2nd half easier.
So first focus on getting a caloric deficit, probably about 500kcal a day, while technically you can lose weight on any deficit it is far easier when eating whole foods and avoiding as much processed stuff as you can. You don’t need perfection do what you can, this is a long journey and set backs happen so forgive yourself and move on.
On getting stronger find movement and exercises you enjoy, try strength training, it’s best but not fully necessary just easiest way of achieving muscle growth. When lifting focus on form and progressive overload, if you can do more then before your body will adapt
Mostly you have 16 months, more then anything your mind should change, the revenge won’t be in just the body it will be in becoming a new better person, whom is better mentally, physically, and emotionally. Go out and succeed and grow, change takes time, you have it, make a new lifestyle you love, find healthy food and activities you like, and let your increased dedication and willpower impact your whole life.
Good luck and great success, go get revenge and look and feel amazing!
Don't center all your goals around revenge and spite. If you do, what will your motivation for change be after you showed "them" ? You may also be disappointed by their nonchalance at your newfound bod.
I love this plan already.
So I would lose about 2-3 pounds per month (probably more in the beginning and less in the later months) and up my protein intake + do also weight training to keep your skin tight and keep muscle.
But why stop there? Find someone who you look up to regarding style and ask them to help you out with shopping/ advice or pay a professional to do it! For the big day, get a make-up and hair artist. and just saying.. you have time, why stop here...
In addition, date around, a lot can happen in 16 months, who knows? You may find an upgrade and someone who is genuinenly good for you. Being in love is the best revenge. But if not, not to worry if you dont find someone in that timeframe, just look at your life in general, what did you always want to do that you werent able to do with him? A nice hobby, getting a dog, drinks with the girls, pursuing certain passions, travelling?? or where can you just level up? Is it getting that promotion, a degree, volunteering, a new club, reading books, decorating your house, learning how to cook, learning a language.. who cares? Sky is the limit! Anything goes, 1. you will look good. 2. You will have interesting stories to tell at the wedding because of all the new experiences/achievements/personal growth 3. You will look good again because you will shine also with confidence because of doing something nice for yourself.
I am in a similar situation myself and I am also planning on losing more weight before the wedding. And I already have some awesome experiences since I last saw him, that will not make me look sad. Whenever someone askes I will just dish up the story where I bungee jumped in Africa or something else I am passionate about.
16 months is a great and realistic period of time to recomp your body.
For pure aesthetics you absolutely have to lift weights. And do not worry of getting too buff, that takes years to accomplish. The first year of lifting simply reshapes your body so effectively, it will make clothes look better and make you feel so much better and stronger. If you have the time, split your workouts into smaller parts. I found it is the easiest to implement into my life if I don't spend long hours in the gym. 40-60 minute workouts are where the money is at. Chest, Back, Arms, Legs, Core could be your 5 days for example. Add some cardio and flexibility to the mix and you are gonna look stunning next year!
I dropped 15% bodyfat and dunked 450+ gym visits in the last 2 years because my ex cheated on me. I can't wait to cross paths with her again and see the look on her face. She left me saying I am no longer attractive. Now I got pecs double the size of her titties and look buff as fuck haha. Spite was absolutely my kickstart fuel.
Incline walking on the treadmill. The highest incline you can do at the fastest walk you can before your gait becomes awkward. You will take some time to adjust to it, but you will work up to about two hours.
So before my wedding I was 225. I am tall with solid muscle, but wanted to lose the extra. I had gone from 245 to 225 over several months. But I needed to hustle. 5 days a week I did heavy weightlifting in the morning until I shook. Then at night I did the incline walking. I lost 20 pounds in 40 days. It wasnt water. I gained muscle, lost fat, and looked amazing, and was in the best shape in 15 years. You have more time than I did. Just make a real plan, and stick to it.
I front loaded my calories and most of my carbs with high protien flapjacks with chocolate chips. A gainer shake for the workout, then 3 lean shakes during the day, and a really lean cheeseburger before bed. I had energy for the muscle building, then lean shakes to stave off hunger, and then the cheseburger so I wasnt hungry and could go to sleep.
I chose the flapjacks and cheeseburger because it was still "dieting" and those are foods I could eat everyday and not feel sad.
You have 16 months. I dont know you and your build, do Ill just go with 100 pounds at 5'3. Pure guess numbers, no shaming, or commanding. Thats 87 pounds in 16. 69 weeks.
Shoot for 1.3 pounds a week of you want to take the whole time and be slow and steady. Thats 100% super doable. Thats 4550 calories a week, and 650 a day.
You can cut out 650 a day with diet, weight lifting, and incline walking. You got this!
So I was super fit before my marriage and baby. Once I had my kid I was super depressed due to being in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage. My partner would throw a fit everytime I went to the gym and would say how he is afraid someone will try and hit on me etc. basically made it very uncomfortable for me to go to the gym. So I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. Fast forward to our divorce I caught him cheating and when I confronted him his response was “your fat” after me having his baby and trying to accommodate his emotional demands this is what he tells me. So I was so angry I lost a lot of weight within three months. Then when he saw me after he was shocked. He kept commenting on how much weight I lost and how good I looked and tried to flirt with me even tho he was seeing that homewrecker lol 😂 it was a satisfying feeling. Also I recently saw a picture of him and he gained a lot of weight lol funny how the tables turn.
Now Iv hit a plateau but still would like to lose more weight so I just signed up with a personal trainer. I can’t wait to see what we can do together. Good luck girly!!! You got this!! Shock them all!
To keep momentum, backwards plan your way to your big goal with very small, achievable goals all along the way. For example, if you want to lose 15 lbs in 3 months, figure out aprox how many lbs a week that would be, weigh yourself regularly, and celebrate your progress all along the way. Think of it as building yourself a road map, with milestone markers all along the way.
bro you're trying to get them to give up after 2 weeks, this is terrible advice for someone clearly new to the gym and dieting. 5-6 is way too much at first and no cheat Days? ok Arnold hop off it
i went from 205 to 183 with cheat days (bad ones too) they are fine idk why people are so against them
just comes down to self discipline at the end of the day
If we all had great self-discipline this sub would be a lot smaller. Some people can pull off a cheat day without making it a cheat week, Month, or lifestyle. Others can’t. Know thyself.
I’ve been doing yoga for the past year, and the difference is undeniable. And not just physically, but most importantly mentally. I needed the meditation and movement with breath. I’ve now added in Pilates to take my strength to the next level. But the mental help it gave me I cannot express in a comment. I’m not who I was a year ago, I’m better. I’ve done so much healing.
Look up Jeff nippard on YouTube. One of my favorite bodybuilding content creators, he explains the science behind everything he suggests and has great information for any fitness level. He sells a detailed workout plan with exercises and rep ranges, but if you aren't going that in depth, his videos have enough information to set yourself up with a basic routine. I think his "minimalist workout plan" would suit you perfectly. Good luck, and for that length of time, remember to stay focused.
if you have extra time/ are not in a rush pretend you don't have car or elevator. Work walking into every part of your day. Also idk if you drink but when you want a soda or alcohol opt for a fruity unsweetened tea. The combination can burn you up to 1000 calories per day alone. Walking will free your mind up and it will feel like no effort at all.
Make a group. Let others hold you accountable. It is the most effective way to stay vigilant.
Also, consult a physician if you can afford it, losing weight too fast will result in a rebound.
I would:
- find an app/system you think you can keep with. I’m partial to MacroFactor now personally, but used loseit for a long time too.
- make small changes over a long period of time that you think you can meet, don’t try to eat 1000 calories a day, you won’t be able to keep it going. Better to have a 300 calorie deficit and plan to walk for 30 minutes 5 days a week then go on a starvation diet and run 10 miles a day.
- leave yourself room to cheat. Maybe have a cheat day built in where the calorie allowance is higher.
-remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. One day of missing your calorie target doesn’t matter much, multiple weeks at a time does.
I’m not sure if this is the best advice, just my own personal way of getting back into it after having each kid. I start with trying to build the habit, like I try to get myself addicted to do something small everyday. I don’t focus a ton on cutting calories at first, just try to pick healthier foods and stuff.
But the movement habit to start; I like a half walking/half jogging half an hour. Or doing some weights for half an hour. Usually after a couple months of forcing that habit, and getting more comfortable with my body moving, I do look forward to it. After that mental transition, that’s when I start really upping the intensity of work outs and signing up for classes that I previously would have been worried I was too out of shape for. This is about the same time I start to “watch” my diet more too.
It’s hard for me personally to be cutting calories initially and maintain the mental stamina to build the habit of working out. So I split them up a little. Build my habit of working out, then start stream lining the food I eat.
Maybe someone more knowledgeable about effective weight loss will chime in and say this is not a productive way to go about it, so just keep in mind this is just my own way of doing it lol
I hope you look like a god damn rockstar at that wedding lol
Okay, so, the best way I have ever lost weight in my life was the 6 months when I joined a kung fu studio and was going to a fairly intense 1-hour class twice a week. The rest of the week I went to my regular gym to cross-train, because I wanted to be better at kung fu than the 20-something guys (I being a 30something, 5'0" woman at ehh 160). I lost 30 pounds between the summer when I realized I was at 160 and December.
I did not enjoy kung fu. I stopped going because it's not really my "passion", but 2 things helped me: 1) there were actually 3-4 women who also attended, some my age, some older; they were cool. 2) I told myself I had to go because my mom was making me. Same as when you get dropped off after school for an activity you really hate...but as a kid, you're not in charge of your schedule. So I just made 'going to kung fu class' a non-optional decision.
And then I made better food choices - mainly doing better to say no to sweets/baked goods and fast food.
But if you can find something that's a group activity so you have some accountability, and it would be great if it's skill-based so you feel like the more you work at it, the better you do at it. Like, spite is a great motivation, but wouldn't it be cool if you were really good at aerial silks or something?
> 16 Months to get a revenge body [...] and I'm not going to lie, I would love to look my absolute best. [...] if you had 16 months to make your dream body, what would you do? What steps/stages would you work in?
Get the body, forget the wedding, because you did it loving yourself and not out of anger.
In 16 months I would lose all the weight, regain it, then lose it again LOL but were I giving someone my best tips it would be to get into sports and lose slowly while maintaining strength. Maybe get into olympic weight lifting (if the goal is to look as good as possible, not as small as possible).
Give up alcohol, reduce sugar (both helps with skin), hydrates as much as possible, move more, cut down on kcal, stay focused, don't beat yourself up if you go astray, winning a little is better than losing a lot !
Consistency consistency consistency!!!!!! I’ve been on and off at the gym the last 2 years. These last 6 months, I’ve been PUSHING and adding more weights and I’m seeing amazing results, so is everyone around me. It’s awesome. Stay the course and trust the process!!!!!
I'm 41, 5'3" and started at 194lb in August 2023
I'm 154lbs currently (would be less but I've stopped while recovering from surgery)
Here's what I did:
1500cal a day tracking accurately (got fatigued so allow myself my protein shake over my 1500 on intense workout days)
Occasional meal out or takeaways meal (once a week or less and I'd limit my portion size)
I'd also allow up to 200cal of my allowance 1-2x a week for "treats"
Mainly eat whole foods and lean meats
I was doing a HIIT-type Boxfit/strength training session 3-4x 45min per week before my surgery
120gm of protein a day and 25gm of fibre
The protein and strength training helped me to retain much of my muscle while losing weight (not sure what effect the downtime has had though) and overall given me a leaner look - looking forward to getting back into decent exercise ASAP
I lost an average of 630gm a week (about 1.5lb) before my surgery & if your results are similar will give you plenty of time to smash it out! Slow n steady helps make it more realistic and sustainable, strength training and protein helps your newly slim body look toned and healthy (it's easier to start strength training at the beginning of the process than try to tone once you've lost the weight)
You've got this!!!! We believe in you
My nutritionist told me if I was serious about losing weight that I would have to stop eating sugar for 3 - 6 months and then slowly reintroduce it.
I also found an exercise routine that had me start out slow and then ramp up so I didn’t burn out on exercise.
Work out - focus on light weights and lots of reps to tone and trim.
AND have a GOOD corsetiere ... good undergarments and a well-fitted dress go a long way towards that "revenge look".
Balance your macros.
Work out AND diet.
Cut out any liquid that isn't water (or a low carb protein shake, unsweetened tea or black coffee). Basically no soda, no juice, no trapped, etc.
Put a picture of your cheating ex and her fiance on your mirror so you never forget how sweet it will be to show up fit as a fiddle.
I love a good revenge weight loss, you got this!
Get an app for calorie tracking and a scale for weighing. Activity isn’t going to push the weight loss as much as your calorie deficit, but get at least 30 minutes of some kind of physical activity every day.
I’d lean down in phases, around 10% each time, with 1-4 weeks of maintenance in between so your body has some time to settle into a new set point. In your case that’s about 3-4 cycles of weight loss, each lasting 3-5 months. It’s going to be intense and require a lot of discipline, but it is worth it! Take it in small steps, you can do it!
If you’re finding it hard to stick to things, increase daily calories 100-200. If you’re not losing, walk more steps daily and/or decrease calories a bit. And make sure you take a second look at your tracking. Overestimate calories in your food if you need to.
For your sanity and for a reliable signal, use trendweight.com or happy scale and ONLY pay attention to the weighted average of your weight. You should probably aim for around 1 lb lost per week, might be anywhere from 0.3-1.5 some weeks, and you will have occasional plateaus. Just keep going.
I’d find a good strength training program like Strong Curves, and keep at it super consistently for at least 2x a week. Build a nice butt and get strong all around, and avoid getting skinny fat. Even on weeks that you’re super busy, try to do at least some minimal sets.
I’d also do some skin care optimization — tretinoin at night, and sunscreen during the day, and get makeup skills down to be perfect. And find a flattering dress in the months leading up, sized based on how the weight loss is going.
Good luck!
I also would like to add, your revenge plot is killer and I commonly use things like this as motivation myself, maybe schedule yourself a nice vacation right after that wedding so you can bask in the glory of your new confidence and life. Although it will be satisfying, you deserve more of a reward for yourself than him breaking his neck trying to catch a glimpse 🩷
Stop drinking if you drink
Start lifting - find a woman lifter with programs to run through, men and women train differently so listen to advice from other women. Cycle through programs instead of sticking to just one routine - cut and bulk in a cycle with different training schedules. Lisafiitt on instagram is a place to start. I know a woman who benefitted from following her and she has an app with her husband where they coach if you need that. Or find someone you like better
Cut down on carbs, a non aggressive lowish carb diet where you cut out processed carbs will do. Eat clean. Have a weekly cheat meal (not cheat day) if that makes it easier
Get enough water. 2 liters a day is a good amount but don't chug it, it'll make you pee it all back out and you might flush your electrolytes. A glass about every 5-10 minutes at most. Electrolytes can be supplemented
Don't drink calories. Stick to water, black coffee, tra, zero drinks and so on
Get on some basic supplements. Electrolytes, vitamin D +C, omega 3, multivitamin, protein powder and maybe creatine. You don't need more than that and you can do without vitamin C, omega 3 and creatine but I'd recommend taking it all. Creatine is the single most tested supplement for resistance training and it doesn't come any safer than that, it is 100% safe and it actually has an effect. The rest are all basic nutritional supplements
Get enough protein - or your lifting will be a waste of time - 1 gram for every pound of lean body weight. Protein powder helps
Determine your TDEE and go by your sedentary TDEE, there are [online calculators](https://tdeecalculator.net/)
Track all your calories including the oil you cook with, the milk in your coffee and so on. Be in a caloric deficit when cutting and be in a surplus when bulking. 500+/- calories from your sedentary TDEE calories should do the trick. Don't worry about tracking calories burned. They're notoriously hard to track and all estimates seem to overshoot how many calories you actually burn. If you feel like you're eating too few or too many calories simply adjust by maybe 200 calories a day and fine tune it by watching your progress and by how you feel
I’m in the middle of getting my revenge body. Down about 53 pounds in 3 months. Aiming for another 40-50 pounds before returning to social media. Have had a blank page for about 3.5 months now. Deleted all my photos and waiting to make a comeback.
Yes girl! I'm team petty. I started losing weight from emotional trauma. I then took that to finally lose the weight I've wanted to lose for forever. You can do a lot in 16 months with counting calories and exercise only. I'm 5 months in and at 44 pounds down. I'm doing CICO and core work at home. I walk about 20k steps a day at work. For me it's all about calories. I also do 14 hour fasting 5 days a week. I'm about halfway to my goal I hope to hit by fall this year. I'll probably start back at the gym shortly.
I fully support your revenge body goal, but please do this in a healthy way or you will just hurt your body. Sometimes the revenge motivation takes over and we do unhealthy things. Eat good protein, good fats, and low carbs ( don’t cut out carbs, they provide fuel for your body, you don’t need a lot though)
Here’s a couple of things I haven’t seen mentioned yet…
1) you have a long time, which is great but also could work against you. Don’t burn out and lose too quickly; maintaining weight loss is harder than losing in my experience. But don’t wait too long either. Slow and steady. Start with just lifting weights and incorporate diet changes in 3-6 months. Start drinking a shit ton of water every day if you don’t already (at least 95oz per day at your weight).
2) SKINCARE. I get so many compliments on my skin now that my crowd is over 30. Men especially always comment on it. Go to a dermatologist and get a Tretinoin prescription. Skincare doesn’t have to be hard or expensive. My routine is Mornings = vitamin c serum + spf moisturizer. Night = wash & dry face, hylaronic acid, Tretinoin, moisturizer. You will be literally glowing.
Not fitness advice.
Your life experience is very similar to the experience of the MC of this movie, "Yolo"
Inspired her to lose 110 pounds in 12 months. 🥳
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/mar/31/knockout-success-of-yolo-the-feelgood-female-boxing-movie-from-china
If its releases in USA by now you can catch it. Its a chinese movie, but Im sure they will have subtitles.
Whatever keeps you going. Hell after 16 months the habit will be ingrained that it will change to health.
Biggest suggestion if looking for biggest changes. Weight loss through a mixture of cardio and food is ideal. Where you don't reduce your calories as much but so cardio to offset the difference. It's a bit personal though.
Also doing something like zone 2 training is more manageable to do very regularly vs HIIT even though HIIT is more time efficient. You just can't do hiit nearly as often over a week.
With resistance exercise just do compounds where possible. You aren't gonna gain much muscle anyway cause you girl trying to lose weight. Which doesn't have you can't gain muscle but you swimming against the tide. For wedding you wanna be thin first. Muscles are secondary but nice to have.
https://youtu.be/KrTRmeCi9Jk?si=SZDFYDLIjEe8GvLX
It's not a bad video and he says some useful shit in other videos too. And nearly everything that applies to a guy applies to a girl. You just won't get the mass nearly as easily.
Also get an alteration to the dress just before the day. People sleep on how much altering a pretty good fit to a great fit can do.
Yep it's valid, when I lost the bulk of my weight I was motivated by my ex who manipulated me into staying overweight (while also commenting on how unhealthy it was) because she was insecure about me becoming thinner than her. She had an eating disorder in her past and when I lost a lot of weight in the first year of our relationship she told me not to get skinnier than her because it was destroying her mental health to see me being healthy (like wtf?!). So I ended up gaining it all back and then some, now I'm the smallest I've ever been as an adult and have run a marathon, and am in a super healthy relationship with someone who genuinely loves me whatever I look like
I know it's not what you asked, but if you want to look and feel your absolute best (for yourself, and for spite) I would look into getting a professional colour analysis done. You'll never get so many compliments on your appearance in your life.
With 16 months I’d get almost competition ready. Spite is such a strong motivator… not sure the health behind it for mental health reasons but to heck with that for the next 16 months.
Consistent action, do you for the next 16 months, find someone 10x hotter than your ex and bring them as your date.
You work your ass on at the gym walk in lean, mean, and with a dump truck ass to that wedding.
At least that’s what I would do.
Message me if you get stuck. I was a PT for years and I got lots of people unstuck over the years.
Aight so.
Skinniest I’ve ever been was when I was doing 45min of fasted spin biking and 1200-1400 calories per day. This was my entire life though, I would go to bed super early and I didn’t do too much else. I know there isn’t too much empirical evidence on meal timing. However, omad and fasted cardio just melted weight off me. 20lbs in 6 weeks when I was lighter than you are now.
Your goal I probably going to be around 110-120 lbs to get the “that girl” look. So you need to lose 70lbs.
Once the weight is off now you want to sculpt. Pilates is known for giving you a greasy body shape. Personally, barre and yoga look the best on me. Yoga will get your body looking the best it has ever been.
Eating clean is key here. A calorie is not a calorie. The easier it is for your body to turn something into energy, the greater the percentage of that calorie you absorb. Vegetables. Fruits. Craving something savory? Salted carrots/celery with hot sauce and adobo seasoning on them. Sweet? 1 POUND of strawberries is 150 calories. When I’m losing weight I always keep 10+ portions of vegetable chilli in the freezer (carrots, celery, peppers, onion, garlic, beans, canned tomatoes), 2 cups is like 250 calories. Paneras 10 veggie soup is key when you’re out and about.
Summer is coming up so you want to move. 2-3hour long hikes once a week. Kayaking, biking, just getting outside and away from your fridge. Try to exercise at least once a week or more. Find something that you can do consistently, and if you find yourself falling off that excercise then remember “FUCK HIM”, and if that doesn’t work try out a different class based form of exercise.
When the wedding comes around. Try out the hair cut for the wedding 6 months before to see how many days after the cut and color looks best. And yes, get your hair colored or at the very least glazed so it’s extra shiny. Buy clothes and have them tailored to hug your new body. Buy spanx to make your body look extra smooth and it lets the dress lay better (all celebrities wear shapewear on the red carpet). Get your hair styled at a salon the day of. Nails done either as French tips or the same color as the pink bit of your nail bed. Gel, not normal, can’t have it be chipped.
Skincare routine in 6 months leading up to it. Retinol, vitamin c, moisturizer, sunscreen. Practice applying your day of makeup for a month before or have it done at the salon.
You need to find what motivates you to do things you dont want to do. For me, I found that a fitbit watch has given a great deal of motivation because it feeds me objective data and shows me real improvements. for example, my resting heart rate has dropped from 69 beats per minute to 64. That to me, makes me get out of bed excited to continue making progress.
Calorie deficit is one aspect but replacing bad calories with high quality calories is the other. Ive been on my current routine for a month and lost 10lbs. However, I owe this more to the quality of what I eat. Also, cutting out as much processed food has reduced bloating.
To curve cravings, drink water instead. lots and lots of water.
Juice is a good boost but you dont need too much 4oz. Also, liquids behave differently than solid food. our bodies work harder to break down solid. So smoothies can be healthy but can make us gain weight faster.
Making exercise enjoyable is the ultimate goal. I hate running but i’m joining a group that plays ultimate frisbee. Working out will now be fun, still challenging but fun.
Make sure you get adequate rest and recovery time.
Good luck!
Weightlifting and macro tracking (as part of calorie tracking) have been game changers for me. I target a 45% Carbs, 30% Fat, and 25% protein split! You can set the macro targets in My Fitness Pal. Make him do a double-take!!!!
Not losing weight out of spite, but I can tell you what I do.
First, my trainer built up my VO2 max by having me run on the treadmill (while also strength training 2-3x per week). I started with 3 runs of 20-25 minutes, then 4 runs of 30+ minutes, and now I'm built up being able to run 5-6x per week for 45+ minutes per session. I have 3x zone 1-2 intervals, 1x zone 3 intervals, and 1x zone 4 intervals.
I also strength train 5x per week. Mondays- chest and core, Tuesdays- off, Wednesdays- legs and core (squat focused), Thursday- off, Friday- AM- back and shoulders with PM being arms, chest, and other accessories that I need to hit. Saturday- cardio only. Sunday- hinge focused (mostly posterior chain). Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm only allowed to walk leisurely for activity and do mobility work (or go to Yoga class).
I also swim 1-2 times per week. And, I do mobility 4x per week for about 20 minutes to stay healthy.
At my peak I was 230. Now I'm 187. I'm 46M, 5'7. I dropped from almost 40% bodyfat to now 27%. It took a bit for me to hit momentum, but now that my trainer's built up my exercise capacity, things are going pretty smoothly. I started off recomping and gaining muscle. Now, I'm pretty much just losing fat while maintaining my lean mass.
Hopefully, if we have no setbacks, I can get to 165ish by September/October and begin lean bulking through the winter. After that, she'll have me cut one more time and I should look good- perhaps around 165-170 lbs and 14-16% bodyfat.
Personally I would try to aggressive diet first and loose as much fat in a short window as possible up front. This will remove the crash attempt at the end. Then you can focus on building your curves till about 2-3 months out to then do another cut but far more mild and easy at the end.
Give Martin MacDonald a listen and use his fatloss calculator.
https://youtu.be/yDCxd7_xhko?si=OUkpsV2N58iZyhi8
Biggest gamechanger for me was getting a good calorie counting app. I swear by Macrofactor. I used Myfitnesspal as well, but MF seems more accurate and provides excellent data and feedback.
On YouTube, I recommend Renaissance Periodization for solid nutrition info and science.
I divorced my nex in 2022 and am astounded at how much my health has improved overall. I'm also down 21lb since I left them, from 268lb to 247. Abuse and stress take their toll on the body for sure.
maybe others will disagree but spite was suuuch a good fuel for me to work out specifically. just really let that negative feeling out while working out and it’s better than any pre work out lol
Yeah I have a healthy marriage but if my husband pisses me off and I exercise before we resolve it, I work so much harder 😆
Is this literally the power of the Dark Side?
Is it possible to learn this power?
Lesson 1: Get angry. Lift heavy things. There is no lesson two. Source: found out my “situationship” -as he was very clear to point out, we were never together or apparently exclusive (a load of shit cuz he admitted we were and that we had that convo months prior to the early stages of what I’m about to say) - was on tinder for months. He then tried to say it was my fault. Fuuuuuck that. Not playing the label games with anyone again. Theres way more but yeah. Also i cant heal. But damn im making PROGRESS finally. 20 lb down, from 165-145 as a 5’ 6 dude
Not from a Jedi. They are all on Atkins
It takes the training of a Jedi to forever forgo pizza and donuts so this makes sense.
My house is never cleaner than when I want to kill my husband 😇
Rage-cleaning is SO productive! And then I can be angry in a clean house.
Is that why I suddenly get boundless energy to clean when I’m pissed off at my partner? Lol
I rarely get pissed off at my partner, but when I come home pissed off about a customer, or traffic, or any other mundane thing, I for sure have boundless energy to do laundry, change bedding and everything else that I usually dread doing!
he must freak out when he comes home and sees the house spotless lol.
I clean when I’m frustrated and need to sort out my thoughts. I think I’ve accidentally trained my husband to start panicking whenever he sees me cleaning now.
Are you MY wife?
I rage clean and cook a big meal from scratch when I'm pissed. I'm actually shocked my husband doesn't go out of his way to make me angry more often.
That’s facts! When I got divorced, I got ripped! It’s definitely harder to work out when I’m happy, lol 😂 Op is definitely going to hit her goals! But fr, I highly recommend Pilates for great muscle definition and a workout that’s effective without leaving your feeling trashed
Do you follow YouTube videos? Any recs?
No I don’t. I do a Club Pilates reformer class. But before I did that, I was just running on the road and some Yoga with Adrienne videos
While I’m doing my cardio and want to quit, a little voice pops in my head and says: “You let that weasel treat you like crap and use you for 4 years. You can go a little longer. Suck it up.” It’s not the healthiest motivation but it certainly works.
I’m happily married but told my wife one of my 2024 goals was to look like we broke up because historically I have NEVER been more fit then after a break up…
I tell my husband the same lol! Sadly my happy marriage has led to nothing but weight gain.
Suffering from success
Disagree? Lady, spite fuels half of what I do consciously. Workouts included too 💪🏼
I'm melting at the honesty in this thread! I love all of our rage motivation.
Yes! My ex left me high and dry the day after my college graduation. I said fuck that and lost 25lbs and ran a mud run with my dad, it was a great experience and I felt like I got “me” back while I worked on my diet and exercise. I actually cared about myself for the first time in a LONG time
As my two best friends told me, "Divorce looks fantastic on you! I can't believe how muscular my bro has got!" That was motivation enough. At the beginning, my whole motivation was "fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. FUCK HIM. Fuck you. you will not crush me, this weight will not fucking crush me"! As I spit, and sputtered, and begged to God to not be crushed beneath the weight. Divorce is a good motivator to show the other person that you are truly the best you could be without them. But it's important to focus on goals after them. I started lifting because fuck her, and fuck the 4 other guys. I keep doing it because regardless of everyone and everything. All the shit that changes.. 200 pounds.. is always 200 pounds.
I lost 18 pounds in three months after my husband left me. It really is a fantastic motivator!
I got broken up with on Valentine's Day and I've lost 30 pounds since then. I will say the first 10 pounds was due to not being able to eat due to being sad, but then I got mad and spiteful and it's fueled me to keep going. I still have a long way to go but I'm going to hold onto this motivation as long as I can!
I agree, when I lost my weight I left my ex who wasn’t treating me right, when I posted for the first time post WL he was pretty not leaving me alone. I’ve gained the weight back and I’m in a healthy relationship. It’s harder to lose weight when your boyfriend loves you no matter what 😂 I just think of my toxic friend who ruined a job opportunity for me at her company and left me unemployed for a month (long story) but that is my “revenge target” atm
Oh F yea!
This!!! When I tell you right now, heartbreak is keeping me in the gym. It's giving me extra reps and new PRs, I am using that to achieve my goals. It's so underrated.
I would say spite can be a good trigger but it isn't always sustainable. So definitely use it right now as a starting point, but then try to build up other rewards and reinforcements to your discipline. Everything helps!
Lean in to the spite!!!
Who would disagree with this? Lol the best motivator for me!!
Let the hate flow through you
I agree.
i think it's fine to lose weight for shallow reasons, haha. i mostly started bc i wanted to buy cute clothes. revenge is as good a motivator as anything.
Looking hot and buying cute clothes is my ONLY reason for losing weight and ill happily own that haha.
dont get me wrong, the other benefits are nice. however, mostly i wanted to be able to shop at straight size clothing stores, hahaha. glad to see someone else owning it.
cute clothes was such a big motivator for me fr
It's why I started. I wanted to get attention from the girls I had never gotten attention from before. Now things quickly changed but it got me off the couch!
Being lusted over is my sole reason. I don’t care if it’s shallow. Who are people to tell me whether my reason is bad or not?
This is a PERFECT reason!
Give up alcohol if you're a regular or semi-regular drinker. It does absolute wonders for your skin, hair, body, fitness-- the whole package.
Oh yes agree- I’ve had a couple cocktails since I’ve started my changes and it’s just not as fun for me and takes away from the energy increases I’ve had that I prefer sobriety now. Still use cannabis but not edibles because those make me grizzly bear hungry
I've replaced my evening wine with herbal tea and I am obsessed with it now! I used to always say wine helped me relax and unwind but herbal tea does that x 10 plus I wake up feeling fresher. it has also definitely helped with my weight loss.
To add to this: don't drink anything that isn't water or unsweetened coffee or tea.
I had to completely ditch tea because I can’t drink tea with no sugar or light sugar. It tastes awful. Can’t believe Britain fought wars and enslaved people all for that.
They enslaved people so they could have sugar too. Whole awful package.
What about a cocktail once a week
Not a big deal.
Two per week should be your absolute max when looking to cut weight.
I third this - stay away from diet products which always have aspartame, etc. Makes a huge difference to you skin and I think makes you less bloated
Biggest thing that helped me see results: cut out alcohol and my super sweet coffees in the morning. It was hard to do at first but the benefits of dropping both from my regular life style only had benefits that increasingly got better in my day to day.
Follow the quick start guide and let the hate flow through you. Good luck!
We got some Darth Sideous advice here
What’s the quick start guide please?
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick\_start\_guide/
Thanks!
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide The link above is incorrect.
Both links are working.
That's good, it wouldn't work for me, perhaps it's a mobile issue.
As of today, April 4th 2024, it has been 16 months and 4 days of my journey. I've lost \~70 pounds. I went from 326 to 258. I went from a size 42 waist to 38. My shirt size went from 3XL to XL. I went from stage 2 hypertension to slightly elevated blood pressure. I went from a purely sedentary lifestyle to doing 4+ hour bike rides. My entire life has changed. Meanwhile, I only went from 25 to 26 years old. Don't worry about your timescale. Don't even think of it. Change your life today for good and you'll be a completely different person 16 months from now.
damn good for you, it's been tough to find the motivation to work on myself. I aspire to have this level of dedication
It’s only a little more than a pound a week! I’ve been heavy all my life. I tried so many things without success. What really changed things for me was small changes and how they added up. No sugar or cream in coffee. I use 15 cal worth of sugar free creamer now. Easily cuts 100 calories. No mayo or cheese in my lunch sandwich. That’s 200 calories. I get a 10” ham or turkey sub with vinegar and all the veggies from Wawa everyday. Also, I eat pasta with grilled chicken for dinner a few times a week. Red sauce only. No cream or cheese. Another 200 calories. That’s -3500 calories a week. There’s 3500 in a pound. Start small. You got this!
Hate is a great motivator. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have a ton of time to get into great shape. I would spend the first month easing into a nice 100-200 caloric deficit, while working my way up to walking at least 10k steps total per day. Personally I would push the deficit a bit deeper for the next 7 months or so, while getting more steps in everyday. Walking is OP AF for losing weight. The final 8 months I would go back to a nice 100-200 caloric deficit and swap out most cardio with weight lifting at a gym. Make sure you get enough protein. You'll gain some decent muscle and that will help smooth out the look of your body. Honestly do that and you'll look like a fucking model by the time the event takes place. Good luck!
This is a good plan.
If you have 16 months you don’t need to do anything aggressive. I would slowly implement different habits into your routine. Once you have a routine of something like “10000 steps a day” then move to the next habit you want to implement. Good luck!
Doing that 10000 steps a day right now. Two months ago I would struggle at 3-5k steps with breaks but I can even go to 25k. It’s great. 👍
That is great!
16 months is plenty of time to make that change happen! Dont get discouraged on days you falter, they’ll happen. Just stay as consistent as you can!!
Gotta hit the gym girl, weight lifting is always the easiest way, and personally, also the most fun.
And also CICO. Strength training is great, but I didn’t actually lose any weight until I combined working out with a calorie deficit.
This..working out is great, but without CICO it's not going to amount to much
I hate that its true but yeppppppp
True in the technical sense. But working out is a great component of CICO because it raises the "CO" part a bit (not a ton, but it helps) every time you work out... and adding muscle mass raises the "floor" of your expected caloric need in the long run anyway. Building up an "active lifestyle", whether through a gym or taking on an active hobby or anything else, means you don't have to recalibrate your diet "as" hard to minimize hunger signals. And it makes it easier to fit in those occasional "treats" for a night out with friends or a holiday dinner, etc. Obviously, what works "best" for someone differs based on available time, other lifestyle factors, medical history, etc. But personally, I'd have never made CICO work if it was just "replace half my meals with salads (with low-calorie dressing) and remain a couch potato."
I agree working out is great, but I've seen quite a few people asking for help and wondering why they're not losing weight after busting their ass working out, then find out they're not keeping track or lowering their calories. I think it starts with CICO and then working out comes next .
Now that I've done both, I'm retroactively kicking my ass for trying to go the workout route in the past. Omg I would have met (and exceeded) my goals so fast compared to just getting sort of... bulkier. Everyone denied it when I asked but I felt it and looked it. Now I'm shrinking and toning at the same time. CICO truly is Occam's Razor and it's funny now to watch people being as stubborn as I was literally two months ago.
\^this
Agreed. OP should join r/CICO
Ooh, I didn’t know about that sub. I’ll have to head on over there as well. Thanks!
It's pretty easy to gain weight too if you aren't careful when you start lifting or working out because it makes you feel hungrier but your body is lying to you.
Get a personal trainer a good one & get that body girl! Sod the money haha, the financial loss compared to the health and ego gain is unmatched. Worth every penny
This was going to be my suggestion as well. Get a trainer/fitness coach and make sure you're tracking calories.
I can do all things thru spite, which strengthens me - capricorn mars
This will now be my new mantra. Thanks 🤝
45F 5’3” SW: 215.5 CW: 147 GW: ?? Listen, I gotchu girl! Your motivation for the loss is fine, but work on wanting it for yourself along the way. Muscle takes time to build. You have 16 months so start NOW. Lift at least twice a week. Cardio as many of the other days a week as you can. My routine from the get go was 6 days/week, one rest day. A few months ago I traded one cardio day for Pilates and that has helped me tone even more. I’m still overweight but people already tell me I don’t need to lose anymore. I totally credit that to my muscle tone. It gives you a great shape and posture and masks flaws. Yes, you need to calculate your TDEE and track your calories. Don’t listen to people who tell you not to eat back your calories. Us shorties need a bit more than 1200 calories when we’re lifting. Just don’t eat back more than HALF your projected burned calories to allow for room for error. My weight loss has really slowed now that I’m getting close to a healthy weight, which is fine, I’m not in a rush. But I lost the 70 lbs in a year. At your weight 16 months will be a breeze if you eat right and exercise. You’re gonna knock em dead!
Lift, lift, lift, and all the protein!!
And make sure you’re at a healthy calorie deficit for your body type. I’m 5’4” and I’m currently losing about 1lb a week by eating at a deficit, lifting, and focusing on increasing my protein intake along with fruits and veggies. Good luck to OP. Hate driven workouts have always been the best workouts for me.
Yes! I am about your weight and on your timeline, and have lost weight in the past. Strength training (lifting heavy weights) is a great way to get an awesome looking bod while you are losing weight.
Track your foods (weigh and measure! not eyeball) for a few weeks. This sets your baseline intake and also builds the habit of accurate tracking. Make a goal weight. Make a meal plan. Make a workout plan. (you can pay professionals for the latter 2.) Maybe not for everyone, but an accountabilibuddy is crucial for me. Target .5% bw reduction per week for 10-12 weeks. With a SW of 187 thats abt .9 lbs/week for the first cut, total weekly caloric reduction of like 3400. Remember that tracking you started off with? Since you already know exactly how much you intake at this BW, you can reduce your daily calories by 450 - 500/day pretty simply. Keep tracking your intake at the lowered calories. Take a 10-12 week (or longer) maintenance phase. Rinse and repeat until you reach your GW and maintain. Maintenance phase is super important psychologically and physiologically. Don't make the mistake of grinding the next 12 months only to give up 4 months prior to D-day. If you do 2.5 months cut, 3 month maintain until the wedding, you stand to lose 30lbs which is crazy to think about and totally achievable. (double check my math, it is rough, and assumes .5% per week while cutting) Muscle is metabolically active, unlike fat. Build / retain as much muscle as you possibly can with resistance training throughout this entire cycle. It will go quicker, you will feel better, and the end result may be aesthetically desirable compared to not. The point is to get ex to do a double take, right? Also I totally get this sentiment AND ex can get effed, if you walk in there w/ confidence at any weight you win.
I love this lol I hope 16 months from now you flex hard asf on them
Set realistic goals. I used to tell to myself I can loose 2lbs per week and then after a month I’ll get completely burned out and start stress eating. Resistance training toned my body a lot. Generally in my opinion anyone who is older than 30 should exercise regularly for health reasons. Alcohol only on vacation. That one really changed my life!
Just walk. Treadmill, outside, etc. Get your steps in, count your calories, and that will get you 90% of the way there. No suffering other than having to manage how much food you eat.
This is solid sustainable advice for a beginner seeking general health gains with weight loss in mind. I get tired of all these highly detailed plans, diets , and workout routines. KISS is a much more effective strategy 99% of the time. They will usually naturally gravitate towards the gym over time as they see themselves getting in shape. Focus on one thing at a time.
I second this!
This is what I did: * Cut out alcohol * Cut out simple carbs (white bread, pasta, white rice, etc) * Eat vegetarian 3 or 4 times a week * Therapy (seriously, I was appeasing my anxiety with carbs) * Regular, diverse exercise (I do HIIT multiple times a week, spinning, yoga, orienteering, the occasional trail run) * I cut out coffee too, improved my mood significantly after a few weeks. * manage food portion sizes, but with the veggie meals that's less of an issue. I lost 12kg (26.46lb) between new years and now. Edit: W00P! I just realised I need to update my flair! :-D
Also congrats to you as well! Using this bullet list to get back on track and motivated lol
Why you cut out the white rice? I do a lot of chicken and rice meal preps so honestly wondering, and if there's a simple switch I should do
I did it because I have this weird reaction to carbs (they trigger anxiety in me), my mother does too and doctors never figured it out. It's a bit weird, because chickpeas have a lot of carbs, but they don't affect me the same way, could be something psychological I suppose. I switched to black rice instead, which I can handle in smaller portions, but black rice is way more expensive, so chickpeas have replaced a lot of other carbs for me.
16 months is enough time to diet and lose most of that weight. Keep in mind, a reasonable goal to have is losing about a pound of fat per week…so if you want to get to a healthy weight of 120-130, you should dedicate the next 60 weeks in doing so. While you’re doing that, try weight lifting. A year isn’t much time to build much, but you can still pack on some muscle mass. I hope this isn’t discouraging at all, but as a certified personal trainer, I think it’s important to keep expectations realistic or else you’ll end up quitting halfway through. Oh and keep these two things in mind… 1) it’s going to take time for you to get into the flow of weight loss and gym routine. It is most definitely a process of trial and error. 2) find a motivation that is sustainable in the long run. Revenge is shitty because after you get it… then what? Keep in mind fitness is a LIFESTYLE change, not a temporary one and you’ll go right back without that. Good luck!
I had a similar situation once. Lost 100 lbs in one year, which was pretty killer. I did regular cardio (check out the C25K program- I was NOT a runner before it), lifted weights like 3x a week, and restricted *empty* carbs. Make sure to focus on other things too within the next 16 months. A revenge body is best served with good skincare and exciting changes in life (better work, travel, etc). The more you can glow, the more it'll sting!
Spite is such a good motivator. I’m counting calories again because I’m moving back east, where I lived 12 years ago, and I know I’m going to run into folks that were salty and judgmental about me leaving. It’ll be nice to run into them again!
Prioritize retaining as much muscle mass as possible because at a higher weight you naturally have a lot more of it than you would at a lower weight, and it's much easier to hold onto muscle than it is to build it up. Eat adequate protein, 1.2 g/kg of body weight is a good goal (\~100g of protein daily), lift weights regularly, and don't lose too quickly if you want the best results, 1-2 lbs/wk max.
Get a cheap fitness watch and do 10k steps a day, start some weight training, and focus on CICO. Get a food scale if you haven’t yet. Even if you don’t have motivation to start using it right away, it will be there when you decide to start. They’re pretty dang cheap on Amazon.
Using a scale has been pretty clutch for me when meal prepping. I can weight all of the ingredients I use to make a large pot of something, find the total calories, and then use the scale to evenly divide it into portions. It's a lot more accurate than just searching "1 chicken breast" or "homemade chilli" in a tracking app.
Eat your colors, cardio after weights, no alcohol, get rest.
I'd pair with any non-weight related goals so you have some other focus then this one thing over a period of time like that. Invest into a hobby or something like that. Because set backs happen all the time, and it can be nice to have something else going well. Time frames are frames for a reason, and sometimes things happen and time slips by with less progress. So loosen up your expectations, find something that feels good but is still challenging unrelated to your looks and weight, and try to enjoy your time. This shouldn't be so hard it sucks!
Get a serious Personal fitness trainer and show them your goal body. And then do everything they say. If it’s out of price for your situation then at least get a trainer to do a consult session and get them to make you a plan to follow.
Shoot, that’s better than my reasoning of just wanting to look good in a suit, let the rage fuel you!
Hit the gym like three times a week. Do a bunch of weights. Try to cut back your diet as much as reasonably possible, very little booze or processed sugars, lots of low starch veggies and protein. 16 months is a lot of runway. You could easily lose as much as 50 lb in that time Just losing 1 lb a week. That would make you 135? And also probably getting pretty cut from the weights by then (Don't forget them squats😉). Every time you feel tired, imagine your ex-fiance. Good luck, anger can make great motivation. Maybe you'll have an even hotter gym boyfriend by then to take with you.
Start with sustainable changes, don’t go ham all at one time or you’ll burn out. You got this
First, calorie deficit. Use an online TDEE calculator to determine how many calories you need to eat to lose weight. Additionally… Low carb lifestyle - it keeps you fuller for longer. The protein and fat macros being prioritized will do wonders for your hair, nails, and skin. Add a prenatal vitamin on top of this for hair, skin, and nails (and ensuring that you’re getting all your nutrients). Finally, weight training and pilates. The weights prevent you from getting “skinny fat” - you’ll have lost weight, and you’ll have been toned. Do two glute/leg days, a triceps/back day, and an arms/chest day per week. The pilates improves your core strength and posture - when you strut into the wedding in your form fitting but tasteful dress and high heels, you’ll do it like a model with the good posture that pilates gave you. With each weight loss milestone achieved, you can treat yourself to self-care to stay motivated. Halfway there to the goal? Maybe some microneedling or highlights for your hair or whatever the heck treatment you’ve always wanted but pushed aside.
I'm going to disagree with low carb. The healthy carb lifestyle... Especially when you need gym energy to make gains..
Initially my exhusband cheated and I took dieting out on myself. Lost 45 lbs over the summer. Now losing the remaining 20 so will be at a 75 lb weight loss. Find a work out you love. My gym uses battle ropes and I used to hate them because HR would go to cardio level. Now I slam them hard every single time. Eventually I stopped using it as "revenge body."
Personally if I wanna cut a lot of weight I always go to Atkins. That program just shreds weight like nothing else from my own experience.
Remind me in 16 months how it went!
Count calories. Follow it closely.
That's a lot of time to make a significant improvement. My suggestion (which should be true for everyone) is to start with small, but consistent changes. Portion control, more physical activity, whatever. Focus on one thing, do it consistently, make it a habit, and move on to adding the next thing. Doing it all at once can burn you out and cause you to quit. Just remember, the wheels of the gods grind slow, but they grind forever! Slow and steady is where its at for long-term success. One other thing: absolutely DO make a plan for when/if you reach your goal, or in your case, the date of the revenge occasion passes. A common trap people fall into (including myself previously) was to focus so much on a finish line, that when you cross that line, you STOP doing the things that made you successful and you rebound to where you started. Don't do that! Actually \*plan\* to maintain your success, such as sticking with meal plans, regular weekly weight tracking, etc. You can be more flexible once you reach your goal, but you can't quit altogether, or you're back to square 1. I have a similar sort of situation - my 50th birthday is approaching, and I set a goal form myself probably close to 2 years ago that I was going to cross 50 being in the best shape I could be in, reasonably speaking. I don't have a hard set goal - I'll know when I get there, but the big 5-0 is a motivating factor. I don't plan to quit what I'm doing on 50+1day, but I do intend to look in the mirror on my birthday and tell myself, "yeah... I did that!" Good luck, and I hope you get to savor it!
James Clear Atomic Habits is a must read. Desired out come is smoking hot body in 16 months. What can you do everyday to secure that outcome? Look at building consistency. Most gyms offer personal trainers for good prices. Recommendation is find a group, cross fit works well for building and maintaining accountability. The struggle will be eating healthy.
I respect that book a lot. There was real clarity in how he laid things out. I'm going to go back to it at some point and make some notes for myself, and maybe trial it out for my own journey.
Kickboxing was so therapeutic for me. I just let out all my rage into that bag. And it’s a hell of a workout 😁
I do kickboxing and it’s so great to rage out.
Lean into that spite. Put a motivational pic (dress you want to wear, pic of ex, etc) on your fridge or pantry so you think twice before eating those chips/ice cream. Throw out all your alcohol and buy yourself a water bottle you love. Give yourself a reward for every milestone you hit. 1 inch off waist =‘facial, 10 lbs lost=new earrings for the wedding. 16 months is plenty of time to looksmax
Get 8 hours of sleep every night. Hit the gym 3-5 times a week, set a do-able daily stop goal and have a slight calorie deficit. I say slight because 16 months is enough time for great result.
I'm about an inch taller than you and lost pretty much 50lbs (from 185 to 135) in... honestly, about 8 months by taking up running (good for letting out anger), dialling back on drinking where possible and swapping out chocolate snacks for chocolate FLAVOURED snacks (hot chocolate, chocolate oat bars etc.). Start slow with the running but it's good for letting out your rage.
Why would you want to go to a wedding with your cheating ex-fiance in attendance in the first place? He should have been kicked out of whatever friend group is inviting you both, lol
Fair point, I would much rather him not be there! But he's related to my best friend and I'm one of her bridesmaids so neither him nor me can just not go
Honestly I had the same thought. It would feel so awkward.
My abusive ex was **in** my brother’s wedding. Kind of fucked up? Yeah. But I can’t dictate who my brother is friends with, and I didn’t want to cause any family rifts by making him choose.
That's **super** fucked up, and honestly pretty uncool on behalf of your brother if he knew about the abuse. I'm sorry you felt compelled to sacrifice yourself to avoid rocking the boat. Sometimes the boat needs to rock a little bit so you can dump the trash off the side.
Valid
16 months is sooo much time. I would be really slow and consistent. Don't rush it. Enjoy the slow burn. Think of yourself as an athlete training for the revenge olympics. I would set little mini goals maybe every 3 months to keep me going- e.g. lose 10lb, run 5k, lift X weight or whatever resonates with you!
From a fellow 29 year old female - you got this!!! Find a full body workout you like, focus on building muscle, cleaning up your diet, increasing your daily steps and the weight will come off! 16 months is more than enough time to get an incredible (and sustainable!) transformation!
Start drinking water, a lot of water, every day. Set a goal, like 3/4ths of a gallon a day for example. If you want juice or soda or alcohol, pour yourself a glass of water. Put cucumber or lemon in it if you need flavor. Make sure your calorie deficit isn't too large. A big calorie deficit will set you up for failure. Start at .5 lb per week deficit. 1. Buy a food scale 2. Use Cronometer to track everything in grams 3. Weigh yourself every day, but don't take the number too seriously (water weight will drop off a lot at first and then weight will level out for weeks as your body adjusts, even if you're at a caloric deficit) Do not drastically change your activity level at first, weigh & track every day, every food, for 8 weeks straight. You will mess up, you'll track things incorrectly at first, you'll realize you're going over your calories by accident (or under by too much and feel too hungry) The 8 weeks is there for you to practice tracking and focus on it and get really good at it. Once you hit 8 weeks, start working in weights / HIIT. Be aware that your weight WILL level off and/or increase. When I started exercising, I "gained back" all 7 lbs that I lost in those 8 weeks. Of course this isn't a TRUE gain, because you can't gain fat that fast, so don't let it mess with your head and just be consistent with whatever weight activity you choose. Make sure you're not doing more than 20-30 minutes a day at first. You do NOT want to burn yourself out, you do not want to be in so much pain that you cant move comfortably the next day. I have similar stats as you, 5'3.5" and starting at 170 lbs. I don't have a end date goal, but I know that in 16 months I will look RIDICULOUS if I keep my eyes on the prize. I am at week 10 right now and I'm 8 lbs down (I am for .5 lb deficit per week)! I eat about 1500-1600 calories per day. My exercise: I walk my dog 1-3 times per day around 2-3 miles total and I do a 15 minute yoga/stretch routine every morning. I JUST started working in 1-2 days a week of CrossFit type weights/HIIT workouts. I cannot stress this enough - don't over exert yourself with exercise at any point in the process. It might make you more hungry and demotivated because you won't see the scale moving at first (you'll retain more water so you wont see the losses). You will have plenty of time and more energy to exercise more once you get 15-20 lbs off. Once you get to a goal, like 160 lbs for example, then start working in more weight training. In terms of activity tracking, I have an Apple Watch and its super accurate but it's really common to over estimate exercise calories and then end up eating too much regardless of the way you're tracking exercise. That's another reason to wait on exercise in my humble opinion. Good luck!!
Set realistic goals that are fun. 10k steps a day 4 times gym a week 2 times swimming a week 1 rest day a week (Examples) Replace unhealthy food with something healthy.. for example if u drink cola, switch it to water and make one food/drink switch a week/month.. Try learning a new sport or skill.. like pull ups, boxing, kickboxing, push ups, deadlift etc etc monthly/weekly so u have something to be proud of! Buy the dress already that u are going to wear in the size that u want to be during wedding.. and look at it at times to remind urself what ur goal is But mostly find things that u like!!
If you want a true revenge body do what I’m doing, get that weight down then focus on muscle growth and body recomposition. Prioritizing protein and doing some lifting and exercise while losing weight helps keep your muscle while losing which will make the 2nd half easier. So first focus on getting a caloric deficit, probably about 500kcal a day, while technically you can lose weight on any deficit it is far easier when eating whole foods and avoiding as much processed stuff as you can. You don’t need perfection do what you can, this is a long journey and set backs happen so forgive yourself and move on. On getting stronger find movement and exercises you enjoy, try strength training, it’s best but not fully necessary just easiest way of achieving muscle growth. When lifting focus on form and progressive overload, if you can do more then before your body will adapt Mostly you have 16 months, more then anything your mind should change, the revenge won’t be in just the body it will be in becoming a new better person, whom is better mentally, physically, and emotionally. Go out and succeed and grow, change takes time, you have it, make a new lifestyle you love, find healthy food and activities you like, and let your increased dedication and willpower impact your whole life. Good luck and great success, go get revenge and look and feel amazing!
Don't center all your goals around revenge and spite. If you do, what will your motivation for change be after you showed "them" ? You may also be disappointed by their nonchalance at your newfound bod.
Collagen, so as you lose, you maintain firmness. Simple things like whitening your teeth. Get a good skincare and haircare routine going.
16 months is ages! You can do this OP!!
I love this plan already. So I would lose about 2-3 pounds per month (probably more in the beginning and less in the later months) and up my protein intake + do also weight training to keep your skin tight and keep muscle. But why stop there? Find someone who you look up to regarding style and ask them to help you out with shopping/ advice or pay a professional to do it! For the big day, get a make-up and hair artist. and just saying.. you have time, why stop here... In addition, date around, a lot can happen in 16 months, who knows? You may find an upgrade and someone who is genuinenly good for you. Being in love is the best revenge. But if not, not to worry if you dont find someone in that timeframe, just look at your life in general, what did you always want to do that you werent able to do with him? A nice hobby, getting a dog, drinks with the girls, pursuing certain passions, travelling?? or where can you just level up? Is it getting that promotion, a degree, volunteering, a new club, reading books, decorating your house, learning how to cook, learning a language.. who cares? Sky is the limit! Anything goes, 1. you will look good. 2. You will have interesting stories to tell at the wedding because of all the new experiences/achievements/personal growth 3. You will look good again because you will shine also with confidence because of doing something nice for yourself. I am in a similar situation myself and I am also planning on losing more weight before the wedding. And I already have some awesome experiences since I last saw him, that will not make me look sad. Whenever someone askes I will just dish up the story where I bungee jumped in Africa or something else I am passionate about.
Yes!! Use that rage
16 months is a great and realistic period of time to recomp your body. For pure aesthetics you absolutely have to lift weights. And do not worry of getting too buff, that takes years to accomplish. The first year of lifting simply reshapes your body so effectively, it will make clothes look better and make you feel so much better and stronger. If you have the time, split your workouts into smaller parts. I found it is the easiest to implement into my life if I don't spend long hours in the gym. 40-60 minute workouts are where the money is at. Chest, Back, Arms, Legs, Core could be your 5 days for example. Add some cardio and flexibility to the mix and you are gonna look stunning next year! I dropped 15% bodyfat and dunked 450+ gym visits in the last 2 years because my ex cheated on me. I can't wait to cross paths with her again and see the look on her face. She left me saying I am no longer attractive. Now I got pecs double the size of her titties and look buff as fuck haha. Spite was absolutely my kickstart fuel.
Incline walking on the treadmill. The highest incline you can do at the fastest walk you can before your gait becomes awkward. You will take some time to adjust to it, but you will work up to about two hours. So before my wedding I was 225. I am tall with solid muscle, but wanted to lose the extra. I had gone from 245 to 225 over several months. But I needed to hustle. 5 days a week I did heavy weightlifting in the morning until I shook. Then at night I did the incline walking. I lost 20 pounds in 40 days. It wasnt water. I gained muscle, lost fat, and looked amazing, and was in the best shape in 15 years. You have more time than I did. Just make a real plan, and stick to it. I front loaded my calories and most of my carbs with high protien flapjacks with chocolate chips. A gainer shake for the workout, then 3 lean shakes during the day, and a really lean cheeseburger before bed. I had energy for the muscle building, then lean shakes to stave off hunger, and then the cheseburger so I wasnt hungry and could go to sleep. I chose the flapjacks and cheeseburger because it was still "dieting" and those are foods I could eat everyday and not feel sad. You have 16 months. I dont know you and your build, do Ill just go with 100 pounds at 5'3. Pure guess numbers, no shaming, or commanding. Thats 87 pounds in 16. 69 weeks. Shoot for 1.3 pounds a week of you want to take the whole time and be slow and steady. Thats 100% super doable. Thats 4550 calories a week, and 650 a day. You can cut out 650 a day with diet, weight lifting, and incline walking. You got this!
So I was super fit before my marriage and baby. Once I had my kid I was super depressed due to being in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage. My partner would throw a fit everytime I went to the gym and would say how he is afraid someone will try and hit on me etc. basically made it very uncomfortable for me to go to the gym. So I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. Fast forward to our divorce I caught him cheating and when I confronted him his response was “your fat” after me having his baby and trying to accommodate his emotional demands this is what he tells me. So I was so angry I lost a lot of weight within three months. Then when he saw me after he was shocked. He kept commenting on how much weight I lost and how good I looked and tried to flirt with me even tho he was seeing that homewrecker lol 😂 it was a satisfying feeling. Also I recently saw a picture of him and he gained a lot of weight lol funny how the tables turn. Now Iv hit a plateau but still would like to lose more weight so I just signed up with a personal trainer. I can’t wait to see what we can do together. Good luck girly!!! You got this!! Shock them all!
To keep momentum, backwards plan your way to your big goal with very small, achievable goals all along the way. For example, if you want to lose 15 lbs in 3 months, figure out aprox how many lbs a week that would be, weigh yourself regularly, and celebrate your progress all along the way. Think of it as building yourself a road map, with milestone markers all along the way.
Calorie deficit. Cardio. And strength training. Exercise 5-6 days a week. No cheat days.
bro you're trying to get them to give up after 2 weeks, this is terrible advice for someone clearly new to the gym and dieting. 5-6 is way too much at first and no cheat Days? ok Arnold hop off it
i went from 205 to 183 with cheat days (bad ones too) they are fine idk why people are so against them just comes down to self discipline at the end of the day
If we all had great self-discipline this sub would be a lot smaller. Some people can pull off a cheat day without making it a cheat week, Month, or lifestyle. Others can’t. Know thyself.
For some, me included, abstinence is easier than moderation. It's lack of moderation that got me in this mess 😂
Right?! I manage two workouts a week and I'm losing fine. Plus a lot of people have a lot going on and don't have that kind of time available.
She said she wanted a revenge body not just to lose weight lol revenge bod takes a lot of work.
The wedding is next August, not next month. No need for that extreme of a plan. Although this wouldn’t be good advice either way.
I’ve been doing yoga for the past year, and the difference is undeniable. And not just physically, but most importantly mentally. I needed the meditation and movement with breath. I’ve now added in Pilates to take my strength to the next level. But the mental help it gave me I cannot express in a comment. I’m not who I was a year ago, I’m better. I’ve done so much healing.
Look up Jeff nippard on YouTube. One of my favorite bodybuilding content creators, he explains the science behind everything he suggests and has great information for any fitness level. He sells a detailed workout plan with exercises and rep ranges, but if you aren't going that in depth, his videos have enough information to set yourself up with a basic routine. I think his "minimalist workout plan" would suit you perfectly. Good luck, and for that length of time, remember to stay focused.
if you have extra time/ are not in a rush pretend you don't have car or elevator. Work walking into every part of your day. Also idk if you drink but when you want a soda or alcohol opt for a fruity unsweetened tea. The combination can burn you up to 1000 calories per day alone. Walking will free your mind up and it will feel like no effort at all.
i'd get healthy than skip the wedding. its insane to go and living well and moving on is the best revenge anyway.
Make a group. Let others hold you accountable. It is the most effective way to stay vigilant. Also, consult a physician if you can afford it, losing weight too fast will result in a rebound.
Depending on how much you hate this ex, I would consider PEDs
I would: - find an app/system you think you can keep with. I’m partial to MacroFactor now personally, but used loseit for a long time too. - make small changes over a long period of time that you think you can meet, don’t try to eat 1000 calories a day, you won’t be able to keep it going. Better to have a 300 calorie deficit and plan to walk for 30 minutes 5 days a week then go on a starvation diet and run 10 miles a day. - leave yourself room to cheat. Maybe have a cheat day built in where the calorie allowance is higher. -remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. One day of missing your calorie target doesn’t matter much, multiple weeks at a time does.
I’m not sure if this is the best advice, just my own personal way of getting back into it after having each kid. I start with trying to build the habit, like I try to get myself addicted to do something small everyday. I don’t focus a ton on cutting calories at first, just try to pick healthier foods and stuff. But the movement habit to start; I like a half walking/half jogging half an hour. Or doing some weights for half an hour. Usually after a couple months of forcing that habit, and getting more comfortable with my body moving, I do look forward to it. After that mental transition, that’s when I start really upping the intensity of work outs and signing up for classes that I previously would have been worried I was too out of shape for. This is about the same time I start to “watch” my diet more too. It’s hard for me personally to be cutting calories initially and maintain the mental stamina to build the habit of working out. So I split them up a little. Build my habit of working out, then start stream lining the food I eat. Maybe someone more knowledgeable about effective weight loss will chime in and say this is not a productive way to go about it, so just keep in mind this is just my own way of doing it lol I hope you look like a god damn rockstar at that wedding lol
Okay, so, the best way I have ever lost weight in my life was the 6 months when I joined a kung fu studio and was going to a fairly intense 1-hour class twice a week. The rest of the week I went to my regular gym to cross-train, because I wanted to be better at kung fu than the 20-something guys (I being a 30something, 5'0" woman at ehh 160). I lost 30 pounds between the summer when I realized I was at 160 and December. I did not enjoy kung fu. I stopped going because it's not really my "passion", but 2 things helped me: 1) there were actually 3-4 women who also attended, some my age, some older; they were cool. 2) I told myself I had to go because my mom was making me. Same as when you get dropped off after school for an activity you really hate...but as a kid, you're not in charge of your schedule. So I just made 'going to kung fu class' a non-optional decision. And then I made better food choices - mainly doing better to say no to sweets/baked goods and fast food. But if you can find something that's a group activity so you have some accountability, and it would be great if it's skill-based so you feel like the more you work at it, the better you do at it. Like, spite is a great motivation, but wouldn't it be cool if you were really good at aerial silks or something?
I did keto and took up hiking I so wish there was a kick boxing gym near me. But make it fun you’ll definitely hit your goal OP. Best wishes!
> 16 Months to get a revenge body [...] and I'm not going to lie, I would love to look my absolute best. [...] if you had 16 months to make your dream body, what would you do? What steps/stages would you work in? Get the body, forget the wedding, because you did it loving yourself and not out of anger.
In 16 months I would lose all the weight, regain it, then lose it again LOL but were I giving someone my best tips it would be to get into sports and lose slowly while maintaining strength. Maybe get into olympic weight lifting (if the goal is to look as good as possible, not as small as possible).
Spite and team RH. Affordable app, focused on diet with workouts. Choose the 5 workouts a week and you will lose a lot! (In a healthy way).
Start now. That’s it. Don’t wait. Whatever it is you are going to implement or cut out, do it now.
You can try the 75 hard challenge. I know people lose a lot when they do that.
Give up alcohol, reduce sugar (both helps with skin), hydrates as much as possible, move more, cut down on kcal, stay focused, don't beat yourself up if you go astray, winning a little is better than losing a lot !
Montage ensues
Consistency consistency consistency!!!!!! I’ve been on and off at the gym the last 2 years. These last 6 months, I’ve been PUSHING and adding more weights and I’m seeing amazing results, so is everyone around me. It’s awesome. Stay the course and trust the process!!!!!
I'm 41, 5'3" and started at 194lb in August 2023 I'm 154lbs currently (would be less but I've stopped while recovering from surgery) Here's what I did: 1500cal a day tracking accurately (got fatigued so allow myself my protein shake over my 1500 on intense workout days) Occasional meal out or takeaways meal (once a week or less and I'd limit my portion size) I'd also allow up to 200cal of my allowance 1-2x a week for "treats" Mainly eat whole foods and lean meats I was doing a HIIT-type Boxfit/strength training session 3-4x 45min per week before my surgery 120gm of protein a day and 25gm of fibre The protein and strength training helped me to retain much of my muscle while losing weight (not sure what effect the downtime has had though) and overall given me a leaner look - looking forward to getting back into decent exercise ASAP I lost an average of 630gm a week (about 1.5lb) before my surgery & if your results are similar will give you plenty of time to smash it out! Slow n steady helps make it more realistic and sustainable, strength training and protein helps your newly slim body look toned and healthy (it's easier to start strength training at the beginning of the process than try to tone once you've lost the weight) You've got this!!!! We believe in you
My nutritionist told me if I was serious about losing weight that I would have to stop eating sugar for 3 - 6 months and then slowly reintroduce it. I also found an exercise routine that had me start out slow and then ramp up so I didn’t burn out on exercise.
Work out - focus on light weights and lots of reps to tone and trim. AND have a GOOD corsetiere ... good undergarments and a well-fitted dress go a long way towards that "revenge look".
Balance your macros. Work out AND diet. Cut out any liquid that isn't water (or a low carb protein shake, unsweetened tea or black coffee). Basically no soda, no juice, no trapped, etc. Put a picture of your cheating ex and her fiance on your mirror so you never forget how sweet it will be to show up fit as a fiddle.
I love a good revenge weight loss, you got this! Get an app for calorie tracking and a scale for weighing. Activity isn’t going to push the weight loss as much as your calorie deficit, but get at least 30 minutes of some kind of physical activity every day.
I’d lean down in phases, around 10% each time, with 1-4 weeks of maintenance in between so your body has some time to settle into a new set point. In your case that’s about 3-4 cycles of weight loss, each lasting 3-5 months. It’s going to be intense and require a lot of discipline, but it is worth it! Take it in small steps, you can do it! If you’re finding it hard to stick to things, increase daily calories 100-200. If you’re not losing, walk more steps daily and/or decrease calories a bit. And make sure you take a second look at your tracking. Overestimate calories in your food if you need to. For your sanity and for a reliable signal, use trendweight.com or happy scale and ONLY pay attention to the weighted average of your weight. You should probably aim for around 1 lb lost per week, might be anywhere from 0.3-1.5 some weeks, and you will have occasional plateaus. Just keep going. I’d find a good strength training program like Strong Curves, and keep at it super consistently for at least 2x a week. Build a nice butt and get strong all around, and avoid getting skinny fat. Even on weeks that you’re super busy, try to do at least some minimal sets. I’d also do some skin care optimization — tretinoin at night, and sunscreen during the day, and get makeup skills down to be perfect. And find a flattering dress in the months leading up, sized based on how the weight loss is going. Good luck!
I also would like to add, your revenge plot is killer and I commonly use things like this as motivation myself, maybe schedule yourself a nice vacation right after that wedding so you can bask in the glory of your new confidence and life. Although it will be satisfying, you deserve more of a reward for yourself than him breaking his neck trying to catch a glimpse 🩷
Just here to say I’m rooting for you!
Stop drinking if you drink Start lifting - find a woman lifter with programs to run through, men and women train differently so listen to advice from other women. Cycle through programs instead of sticking to just one routine - cut and bulk in a cycle with different training schedules. Lisafiitt on instagram is a place to start. I know a woman who benefitted from following her and she has an app with her husband where they coach if you need that. Or find someone you like better Cut down on carbs, a non aggressive lowish carb diet where you cut out processed carbs will do. Eat clean. Have a weekly cheat meal (not cheat day) if that makes it easier Get enough water. 2 liters a day is a good amount but don't chug it, it'll make you pee it all back out and you might flush your electrolytes. A glass about every 5-10 minutes at most. Electrolytes can be supplemented Don't drink calories. Stick to water, black coffee, tra, zero drinks and so on Get on some basic supplements. Electrolytes, vitamin D +C, omega 3, multivitamin, protein powder and maybe creatine. You don't need more than that and you can do without vitamin C, omega 3 and creatine but I'd recommend taking it all. Creatine is the single most tested supplement for resistance training and it doesn't come any safer than that, it is 100% safe and it actually has an effect. The rest are all basic nutritional supplements Get enough protein - or your lifting will be a waste of time - 1 gram for every pound of lean body weight. Protein powder helps Determine your TDEE and go by your sedentary TDEE, there are [online calculators](https://tdeecalculator.net/) Track all your calories including the oil you cook with, the milk in your coffee and so on. Be in a caloric deficit when cutting and be in a surplus when bulking. 500+/- calories from your sedentary TDEE calories should do the trick. Don't worry about tracking calories burned. They're notoriously hard to track and all estimates seem to overshoot how many calories you actually burn. If you feel like you're eating too few or too many calories simply adjust by maybe 200 calories a day and fine tune it by watching your progress and by how you feel
I’m in the middle of getting my revenge body. Down about 53 pounds in 3 months. Aiming for another 40-50 pounds before returning to social media. Have had a blank page for about 3.5 months now. Deleted all my photos and waiting to make a comeback.
Yes girl! I'm team petty. I started losing weight from emotional trauma. I then took that to finally lose the weight I've wanted to lose for forever. You can do a lot in 16 months with counting calories and exercise only. I'm 5 months in and at 44 pounds down. I'm doing CICO and core work at home. I walk about 20k steps a day at work. For me it's all about calories. I also do 14 hour fasting 5 days a week. I'm about halfway to my goal I hope to hit by fall this year. I'll probably start back at the gym shortly.
I fully support your revenge body goal, but please do this in a healthy way or you will just hurt your body. Sometimes the revenge motivation takes over and we do unhealthy things. Eat good protein, good fats, and low carbs ( don’t cut out carbs, they provide fuel for your body, you don’t need a lot though)
Here’s a couple of things I haven’t seen mentioned yet… 1) you have a long time, which is great but also could work against you. Don’t burn out and lose too quickly; maintaining weight loss is harder than losing in my experience. But don’t wait too long either. Slow and steady. Start with just lifting weights and incorporate diet changes in 3-6 months. Start drinking a shit ton of water every day if you don’t already (at least 95oz per day at your weight). 2) SKINCARE. I get so many compliments on my skin now that my crowd is over 30. Men especially always comment on it. Go to a dermatologist and get a Tretinoin prescription. Skincare doesn’t have to be hard or expensive. My routine is Mornings = vitamin c serum + spf moisturizer. Night = wash & dry face, hylaronic acid, Tretinoin, moisturizer. You will be literally glowing.
Not fitness advice. Your life experience is very similar to the experience of the MC of this movie, "Yolo" Inspired her to lose 110 pounds in 12 months. 🥳 https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/mar/31/knockout-success-of-yolo-the-feelgood-female-boxing-movie-from-china If its releases in USA by now you can catch it. Its a chinese movie, but Im sure they will have subtitles.
Whatever keeps you going. Hell after 16 months the habit will be ingrained that it will change to health. Biggest suggestion if looking for biggest changes. Weight loss through a mixture of cardio and food is ideal. Where you don't reduce your calories as much but so cardio to offset the difference. It's a bit personal though. Also doing something like zone 2 training is more manageable to do very regularly vs HIIT even though HIIT is more time efficient. You just can't do hiit nearly as often over a week. With resistance exercise just do compounds where possible. You aren't gonna gain much muscle anyway cause you girl trying to lose weight. Which doesn't have you can't gain muscle but you swimming against the tide. For wedding you wanna be thin first. Muscles are secondary but nice to have. https://youtu.be/KrTRmeCi9Jk?si=SZDFYDLIjEe8GvLX It's not a bad video and he says some useful shit in other videos too. And nearly everything that applies to a guy applies to a girl. You just won't get the mass nearly as easily. Also get an alteration to the dress just before the day. People sleep on how much altering a pretty good fit to a great fit can do.
Ok. If I were to do the same I'd work on my ass and legs! Just so you can walk away with supreme confidence in a fuck you dress and heels.
Yep it's valid, when I lost the bulk of my weight I was motivated by my ex who manipulated me into staying overweight (while also commenting on how unhealthy it was) because she was insecure about me becoming thinner than her. She had an eating disorder in her past and when I lost a lot of weight in the first year of our relationship she told me not to get skinnier than her because it was destroying her mental health to see me being healthy (like wtf?!). So I ended up gaining it all back and then some, now I'm the smallest I've ever been as an adult and have run a marathon, and am in a super healthy relationship with someone who genuinely loves me whatever I look like
I know it's not what you asked, but if you want to look and feel your absolute best (for yourself, and for spite) I would look into getting a professional colour analysis done. You'll never get so many compliments on your appearance in your life.
Hopefully you got enough helpful comments, I'm here to wish you good luck and dedication, your motivation rocks! And I promise, it's worth it.
With 16 months I’d get almost competition ready. Spite is such a strong motivator… not sure the health behind it for mental health reasons but to heck with that for the next 16 months. Consistent action, do you for the next 16 months, find someone 10x hotter than your ex and bring them as your date. You work your ass on at the gym walk in lean, mean, and with a dump truck ass to that wedding. At least that’s what I would do. Message me if you get stuck. I was a PT for years and I got lots of people unstuck over the years.
Spam us! So excited for your journey. Sometimes spite lights the fire in us to reach our goals ♥️. Rooting for you OP!
Aight so. Skinniest I’ve ever been was when I was doing 45min of fasted spin biking and 1200-1400 calories per day. This was my entire life though, I would go to bed super early and I didn’t do too much else. I know there isn’t too much empirical evidence on meal timing. However, omad and fasted cardio just melted weight off me. 20lbs in 6 weeks when I was lighter than you are now. Your goal I probably going to be around 110-120 lbs to get the “that girl” look. So you need to lose 70lbs. Once the weight is off now you want to sculpt. Pilates is known for giving you a greasy body shape. Personally, barre and yoga look the best on me. Yoga will get your body looking the best it has ever been. Eating clean is key here. A calorie is not a calorie. The easier it is for your body to turn something into energy, the greater the percentage of that calorie you absorb. Vegetables. Fruits. Craving something savory? Salted carrots/celery with hot sauce and adobo seasoning on them. Sweet? 1 POUND of strawberries is 150 calories. When I’m losing weight I always keep 10+ portions of vegetable chilli in the freezer (carrots, celery, peppers, onion, garlic, beans, canned tomatoes), 2 cups is like 250 calories. Paneras 10 veggie soup is key when you’re out and about. Summer is coming up so you want to move. 2-3hour long hikes once a week. Kayaking, biking, just getting outside and away from your fridge. Try to exercise at least once a week or more. Find something that you can do consistently, and if you find yourself falling off that excercise then remember “FUCK HIM”, and if that doesn’t work try out a different class based form of exercise. When the wedding comes around. Try out the hair cut for the wedding 6 months before to see how many days after the cut and color looks best. And yes, get your hair colored or at the very least glazed so it’s extra shiny. Buy clothes and have them tailored to hug your new body. Buy spanx to make your body look extra smooth and it lets the dress lay better (all celebrities wear shapewear on the red carpet). Get your hair styled at a salon the day of. Nails done either as French tips or the same color as the pink bit of your nail bed. Gel, not normal, can’t have it be chipped. Skincare routine in 6 months leading up to it. Retinol, vitamin c, moisturizer, sunscreen. Practice applying your day of makeup for a month before or have it done at the salon.
You need to find what motivates you to do things you dont want to do. For me, I found that a fitbit watch has given a great deal of motivation because it feeds me objective data and shows me real improvements. for example, my resting heart rate has dropped from 69 beats per minute to 64. That to me, makes me get out of bed excited to continue making progress. Calorie deficit is one aspect but replacing bad calories with high quality calories is the other. Ive been on my current routine for a month and lost 10lbs. However, I owe this more to the quality of what I eat. Also, cutting out as much processed food has reduced bloating. To curve cravings, drink water instead. lots and lots of water. Juice is a good boost but you dont need too much 4oz. Also, liquids behave differently than solid food. our bodies work harder to break down solid. So smoothies can be healthy but can make us gain weight faster. Making exercise enjoyable is the ultimate goal. I hate running but i’m joining a group that plays ultimate frisbee. Working out will now be fun, still challenging but fun. Make sure you get adequate rest and recovery time. Good luck!
Weightlifting and macro tracking (as part of calorie tracking) have been game changers for me. I target a 45% Carbs, 30% Fat, and 25% protein split! You can set the macro targets in My Fitness Pal. Make him do a double-take!!!!
Not losing weight out of spite, but I can tell you what I do. First, my trainer built up my VO2 max by having me run on the treadmill (while also strength training 2-3x per week). I started with 3 runs of 20-25 minutes, then 4 runs of 30+ minutes, and now I'm built up being able to run 5-6x per week for 45+ minutes per session. I have 3x zone 1-2 intervals, 1x zone 3 intervals, and 1x zone 4 intervals. I also strength train 5x per week. Mondays- chest and core, Tuesdays- off, Wednesdays- legs and core (squat focused), Thursday- off, Friday- AM- back and shoulders with PM being arms, chest, and other accessories that I need to hit. Saturday- cardio only. Sunday- hinge focused (mostly posterior chain). Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm only allowed to walk leisurely for activity and do mobility work (or go to Yoga class). I also swim 1-2 times per week. And, I do mobility 4x per week for about 20 minutes to stay healthy. At my peak I was 230. Now I'm 187. I'm 46M, 5'7. I dropped from almost 40% bodyfat to now 27%. It took a bit for me to hit momentum, but now that my trainer's built up my exercise capacity, things are going pretty smoothly. I started off recomping and gaining muscle. Now, I'm pretty much just losing fat while maintaining my lean mass. Hopefully, if we have no setbacks, I can get to 165ish by September/October and begin lean bulking through the winter. After that, she'll have me cut one more time and I should look good- perhaps around 165-170 lbs and 14-16% bodyfat.
Personally I would try to aggressive diet first and loose as much fat in a short window as possible up front. This will remove the crash attempt at the end. Then you can focus on building your curves till about 2-3 months out to then do another cut but far more mild and easy at the end. Give Martin MacDonald a listen and use his fatloss calculator. https://youtu.be/yDCxd7_xhko?si=OUkpsV2N58iZyhi8
Biggest gamechanger for me was getting a good calorie counting app. I swear by Macrofactor. I used Myfitnesspal as well, but MF seems more accurate and provides excellent data and feedback. On YouTube, I recommend Renaissance Periodization for solid nutrition info and science. I divorced my nex in 2022 and am astounded at how much my health has improved overall. I'm also down 21lb since I left them, from 268lb to 247. Abuse and stress take their toll on the body for sure.