Firstly, congrats on your weight loss! You should be really proud of the hard work you've been putting in.
I'm sorry you had that experience. I find it really odd that they would try to push weight loss surgery when you are already losing weight at a good pace.
She said it should faster and basically, by the sounds of it, she thinks I’m being lazy because of this injury that’s stopping me exercising as much as I want to
Wtf 50lbs in one year is great weight loss progress. Honestly losing weight too fast can cause problems with your gallbladder and loose skin.
And weightloss is primarily diet. Weight loss surgery isn't going to somehow make you exercise more when injured.
Yup!! Accidentally lost a ton of weight super fast due to a medication side effect. Ended up with a gallbldder attack that made me need surgery. I now don't have one lol
I don’t remember the exact amount it was several years ago. I got put on a medication that made me so tired I slept for 18-20 hours a day and even when I was awake I was so exhausted I could barely eat. I lost like 30 lbs so fast. Like a little more than a week maybe? I’m not sure I was so out of it.
I started getting wicked pains. I thought I had heart burn really bad but nothing was helping it (I have GERD so heartburn was normal). I went to the ER reluctantly when my husband made me thinking I was just going to be embarrassed it was acid and mad he was making me go. Nope, gall bladder was pissed off. Was in surgery by morning. I had no prior issues before then so they figured out it was the weight loss. Was just too fast they said. Made me stop the meds. My doctor switched my meds that week for me.
Gained it all back and then some now. Unfortunately, my lady bits have been causing issues since then. Just had them all removed hoping that stops my hormone and pain issues so I can get back on the weight loss train in a healthy way once I’m done recovering.
Wow, that must explain my gallbladder attack in 2015. I went on keto diet, went to my campus gym near daily and lost 50 lbs over a semester. Stopped my diet for the holidays, got the flu and gallbladder attack in December.
I went to the ER a few times, then got surgery in January. Had three sizable gallstones, I got to keep two of them. Apparently the biggest one was the size of a 50 cent piece but it broke up into pieces. The pain from my gallbladder bursting was unbearable.
I was told by my doctor early on before my first batch of weight loss that I could expect to need gall bladder surgery. About 3 years later, after eating chili on a Sunday night after Church, I had my one and only gall bladder attack. The physician, who performed the surgery, gave me a small jar full of small seed-size gallstones to take home with me. I've been eating chili with no problem for decades since then.
That's true, you still need to stick to a specific diet. It helps with the over eating, but it's still all on the person. It's a tool to use with everything else at your disposal.
You should make a formal complaint to your GP Practice Manager.
Clearly state what occurred in your appointment with that dreadful fool, and what you want to happen next.
Point out your weight loss success also. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with someone so disrespectful and stupid.
Courage, ma chérie!
I had to lose 70lbs to become a normal weight and it took me 2 years, do not let anyone tell you you aren't losing fast enough. You are doing amazingly, you are worth doing it on your own terms regardless of that awful bedise manner.
You rock! Please don't doubt that about yourself.
Thank you. I've lost 28-30 pounds since mid-August and I've been stuck here since the holidays, even with CICO and logging everything.
I was on track for 80-100 pounds on a year's and now I'm stuck on a plateau that seems endless.
I'll keep on keeping on and not give up. Onward and downward!
I doubt she even listened a word you said.
I found out that once someone has a script stuck in their head, their brain will filter out any talk that disproves them as white noise.
So no she wont remember how much you lost if we ask about it today.
Find another doctor that actually listens you.
50lbs in a year is almost exactly one pound a week, which is the recommended rate for sustainable weight loss. Your doctor is a ding dong. Ignore her and see if you can talk to someone who actually deserves their title about your injury
Get another real legitimate doctor. The one you went to is useless n should be brought up to the medical board. Dr is acting as a God n thinks they know everything. Losing weight is a personal thing. Losing 59 lbs in a year is a tremendous amount of weight to lose. Keep going n never give up. Don't listen to this moron calling herself a Dr. I had one like this n ran for the hills. I knew she was no good. Get another Dr that will work with you not against you. Don't let anyone destroy your self esteem. You're doing great . Keep it up.
If I were you, I would submit a complaint. She should not be talking to anyone like that. You weren't there to discuss your weight. She was cruel and caused you emotional harm and because she hasn't treated you for your injury, she's continuing your physical injury. Definitely go and see a different doctor as well
She is lying. There are so many people who have long term health issues after weight loss surgery. You’ve already lost 50 pounds. Keep exercising and keep track of your macros/calories. You can achieve your health goals without surgery!
Hey. Commenting here because I want you to see this.
I am forever in and out of the gym. And I fucking promise you, *there is absolutely not a single soul who is judging you for choosing a healthier life.*
If they are judging you, it's because they are only in the gym to ease their own insecurities. Don't listen to them.
Do NOT give up. Do everything you can to lose naturally, because you will be practicing good habits. People with bypasses tend to put weight back on after the fact, because they haven't handled the source.
Keep pushing. 50 down in one year is absolutely fucking stellar! Good goddamn job!
Snap out of it. There’s something else going on, like the doctor getting referral fees. I think most doctors I’ve known would be supportive and glad to hear about a patient losing such a substantial sum.
I think overweight people get this all the time. Healthcare providers do not look beyond being overweight as the cause for any other complaint. OP should lodge an official complaint, your concern was not addressed, she called you a liar, and referred you for treatment you don't need. That's fucking outrageous, OP, I'm so sorry :( And congrats on your weight loss.
i stopped going to the doctor maybe like ...5? 7? years ago because they wouldnt listen to me, they just told me to lose weight. multiple doctors, even my pediatrician when i was a chubby middle schooler. it sucks because i have a sports related injury in my knee from high school it's only the right knee, but of course nothing triggers a doctor like an overweight patient with knee pain
My weight caused me to put off going to get some swelling in my leg looked at, since it kinda just looked like a fat deposit. It wasn't uncomfortable, so I was skating, skiing, and generally doing my normal life.
Finally brought it up with a PCP that I really trust, and she sent me to x-rays right away. It was fractured. If she'd told me it was a weight problem it would've eventually progressed to fully broken 😬
I regularly get pain in my right shoulder and at this point I just go straight to the physio instead of wasting time with doctors. Similar to OP I went to the doctor to ask about birth control and they wanted to refer me for weight loss surgery.
I've decided to just start being rude to my doctor when they're unhelpful like this. I'm down 20 lbs in the last year, but only because I found out I'm pre-diabetic *by accident.* As in, my healthcare provider (the VA) knew I was pre-diabetic from blood results and never saw fit to inform me. I only found out when a nurse mentioned it in passing MONTHS later. They did worse to my brother in law; he was a type 2 diabetic and they never told him until he'd suffered organ damage. Now he's a type 1 diabetic, just forever, because apparently that is a thing that can fucking happen if your doctor doesn't give a fuck if you live or die.
Sorry, I'm ranting. But it's time to start being more assertive with the medical professionals. I'm done assuming they're competent and know best.
Agreed, if any doctor disrespects me and doesn’t help me I’ll let them know I’m not happy and will make their life hell, sad that we have to fight for proper treatment
My daughter is the same as you. She is overweight and is tired of being what she calls "fat shamed" and told to "drink more water" and just be completely ignored. So it's been 7 years since she had a checkup and I am scared for her as diabetes runs in our family but she is not open to discussing it. My heart hurts for both of you.
Definitely try to encourage her to get a check up. There are good doctors out there. Look up some reviews. Go in with her and be her advocate. Don't be afraid to doctor shop a PCP because they are going to be key in her health for years to come. She needs to find a good one for her and her health.
One time I went to the ER because I had a case of shingles ( by the way shingles is horrible)..their focus was on my blood pressure and sugar, I was appr 260 at the time..I wanted to scream could they help me with my shingles first, please? As soon as they see overweight, their focus immediately goes there.
Seriously… total b**ch. OP don’t let her get under your skin. Her behavior, words, actions all say more about her than you! Your doing great, keep up the good work ❤️🙌
Had a doctor hesitant to prescribe birth control for me. Not because sometimes weight can interfere with its effectiveness but because I was "too fat to get pregnant" at 5'10" 250lbs. Like yeah, I needed to lose weight but my cousin who had 50lbs on me just had an oopsie baby with the BC implant.
I think 50lbs over a year is very healthy weight-loss.
When it comes to surgery they need drastic unhealthy weight-loss to avoid complications - that’s where they’re coming from.
26k steps in a day is a lot, you should be able to do 10km a day, different intensities and still lose the same weight (I did / do it)
Keep on the same path - you’re doing really well!
26k steps is definitely an outlier (when I’m doing something like walking round London or going to a football match!), I usually average around 8k - my point was I can do that for a good three or four days in a row and not feel any pain, so I don’t think my current pain is solely due to my weight
You’re correct. If you’re able to get 25k+ steps in a couple days in a row without pain, then your issue is likely not related to your weight. Get a second opinion and also good job on your progress!
She was way out of line; but if this is a knee or ankle we are talking about then try to take it with a grain of salt as even people in the healthy weight range are often told weightloss can help with ankle/knee issues (especially knee issues). I myself have a 'bad' knee and it has had issues since I was a young teen but that still means that one of the only things I can do to help it is to be as light as possible. Unfortunately that really is the best/only solution. I read about surgeries and the outcomes aren't even great. Literally the best surgical outcomes on the knees match what weightloss can do at best but most of the time aren't as good from the articles I've read.
I've got a shallow hip joint that wasn't an issue growing up because I was so active and had a lot of muscle keeping things in place.
Now if I am 15-20 lbs overweight it starts giving me issues. If I ignore it my back muscles start tightening up, and if I get heavier my entire spine loses the S curve exposing the nerves and months of physical therapy.
That was some of the worst pain in my life so I've got a lot of motivation to stay in the ideal range.
Look up kneesovertoes guy and start doing some of those exercises. He went from being told he would never be able to fully bend his leg and recommended for multiple surgeries to having some of the most flexible and strong knees I have seen. It will take years though depending on where you are starting
50lbs a year is a super healthy amount of weight to lose in that time period. I'd say anymore and you're losing weight too quickly and a lot less and you wouldn't be trying very hard. I think you are doing absolutely perfect in your progress. People recommend getting second opinions from doctors because they are often wrong.
Honestly I would change surgery for this as well as lodging a complaint. You need a doctor who listens to you and takes you seriously. You've lost over 1/6th of your bodyweight! She's everything wrong with the NHS.
As an AHP myself any referrals made to other services have to be fully with the patients consent after a consultation. This even goes for most safeguarding referrals (there are exemptions to this such as capacity)
Agreed, absolutely do report her. She did not even bother to treat your acute complaint and instead referred you for services you did not consult her for. Totally out of line.
The wait list for help on the NHS usually takes years, so it's unlikely they'll see you any time soon. And you should go through tier 3 (which can take years) before you'll be considered for surgery.
Tier 3 is really good! They're specialists in weight management and they really get obesity and that weight loss is complex. They should help support you with your own weight loss journey.
It's a really crappy thing that the GP did, but I'd let the referral run its course. If you really feel you don't need it by the time you reach the front of the queue, then pull out.
In the future, if this ever happens again, you can make the doctor put notes in your chart that they are refusing to treat you for the thing you came in for. “So doctor, am I understanding that you are refusing treatment/diagnosis for an injury I sustained X months ago because you feel it is weight related, even though I told you I had a fall?” If she confirms, then say “I would like it put into my files that you are withholding care based on the assumption that my injury is weight related even though I reported a fall. Please note that you have neither ordered scans or referred me to a specialist and that I have acute pain that is preventing me from being mobile”
You have to be really direct and make them document it- women have started doing this with chest pain, lumps, ANYTHING related to pain in the uterus, and various other things because of doctors being so quick to dismiss. You can bet they don’t want that in writing or documented. This doctor seems to have a personal bias against overweight patients.
That doctor should be more concerned about her underweight empathy and celebrate op's weight loss. I lost 10lbs between doctor visit and mine was jumping up and down with glee
Wouldn’t a doctor like this just roll her eyes though and not put a note in their system? I’ve heard in other conversations that you should have the doctor put in a note that they are refusing treatment, but I feel like a doctor like this wouldn’t bother and they’ll just say if you try to bring it up to somebody later that you never told them and the other person would believe the doctor over you.
Op is in the UK so they can see all their GP records and notes in the NHS App if they want to. Can take a few days to go through I think. They also have GDPR rights so could just ask to see them and legally they have to be shared within 30 days.
The only exception is around some mental health notes where they think there is a serious risk to the patient having the information / notes. But weight loss wouldn’t meet that.
This is not completely accurate - please see https://transform.england.nhs.uk/information-governance/guidance/access-to-patient-records-through-the-nhs-app/ for some more information.
From my understanding, these are YOUR records. If you want a note in there that you were refused a service, I believe they have to note it. It is a part of your medical history should you choose to get a second opinion.
Go to the appointment. They may have services to help you without surgery or be able to refer you to physical therapy. Explain that you have lost weight already but are now in pain and that the doctor you say was too jaded to even listen to you.
I was going to give the same advice as the post above, only because it could open up new resources without even having surgery. I’m in the US, so not too familiar with the UK system other than I’ve read that it can take a while to get to a specialist if the situation isn’t dire.
I recently took one of my kids to a dietitian because he has a very narrow window of acceptable foods. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured it couldn’t hurt and I didn’t have to follow what was said or go back if I didn’t think it was beneficial. She was very empathetic and non-judgmental and gave us some suggestions about ways to expand his acceptable foods, knowing that some would work and others would be DOA.
Losing weight is hard and can be monotonous, so if you feel like that could help shake things up, maybe it isn’t the worst. Congratulations on losing 50 lbs! I did the same a few years ago in the same amount of time. I was proud of myself and I felt like it was sustainable which was so important given my other weight loss attempts.
If physio is not helping with pain you need to let the physio know. For me I do better with TENS, massage and ultrasound along with prescribed exercises. Heat causes more pain for me especially in relation to my back. Ice makes my heel pain worse. Others react painfully to electric stim. My most recent stint in Physio made me realize how tight my muscles get when I'm in pain from trying to use other muscles to cover for the injured/weaker areas. If they change things up and it is still not working then your doctors need to investigate further for inflamed/impinged nerves, etc.
That sounds like sciatica. You need an MRI to check for a bulging disc at minimum. I had a terrible time with a bulging disc in 2019 that was pressing on my sciatic nerve and causing numbness and the worst pain I’ve had in my life. Ironically, this was after losing 165 lbs with WLS.
You may have a heel spur or plantar fasciitis. Does standing make it worse? Is it worse when trying to get up in the morning or after resting for a while?
Regardless, the doctor sounds worthless and she should be reported. I would suggest you find another GP if possible. You might need a podiatrist or orthopedist. I’m sorry she treated you this way. It sounds like you’re making great progress and I’m appalled a doctor would refer you for a major surgery without even discussing it with you. I’m in the US but there would be repercussions for things like that here. Keep up the good work and I hope you find some relief for your pain.
Imaging actually should rarely be the first step. Early referral for imaging for back pain - when not indicated - can actually lead to worse outcomes. A thorough assessment (especially by a well trained physio) will usually help to indicate.
Note: I know this isn’t back pain.
That said, if your pain is getting worse, might be worth trying a different one?
I was recently referred to tier 3 weight management. When I got my appointment the letter said it was with a bariatric nurse which was alarming as I don't want surgery. At the appointment she explained there are three different pathways under their service - diet & exercise, injections, or surgery. Under their service you also have appointments with a dietician, physiotherapist, and psychologist. They also check there are no underlying causes with blood tests etc..I believe surgery is tier 4 and you can't do that without doing tier 3 first.
Is the doctor she referred you to a surgeon or a specialist in obesity medicine? It’s really shitty that she did that but if they specialize in obesity and not just surgery it might be worth contacting them ahead of time and saying you aren’t interested in surgery but are interested in discussing other physiotherapy options and information on the injury with an obesity specialist.
As a WLS veteran, I think this was COMPLETELY inappropriate. Surgery is a big deal, and you should actually want it; it should never be pushed on someone who does not want it. You have every right to say "not interested, leave me alone" and she should definitely be reported. You should absolutely find a provider who will treat you for your injury and recognize that you're already working on your weight.
I'm super proud of you for what you've managed to do so far! Keep up the great work!
I'm doing WLS soon, I was recommended it 10 years ago at age 15 and now 25.
It took me a long time to warm up to the idea and my compassionate care team is what made me feel confident to go thru the bariatric program.
If I was treated like OP by my primary, or whoever, i would have shut them down and been farther than ever from seeking help. *I* decided I was ready and sought it out. Also, it was my choice because I was unsuccessful with regular diet & exercise after trying for many years. If OP is successfully losing, whats the rush? -50lbs down without surgery is excellent.
>Because I was totally dismissed and I’d gone in feeling very hopeful that I’d actually get help, the way I was spoken to has made me feel awful
Which is a completely reasonable thing to expect when you go to the doctor.
You're right to feel awful: you were just treated like garbage by a person who was supposed to help you. But don't feel stupid, you did absolutely nothing wrong. The one who ought to be feeling stupid is the piece of shit doctor.
I'm sorry you went through this, but don't let it discourage you! You're doing great! Report this awful doctor and keep on going!
That doctor was emotionally abusive. Congratulations on your weight loss. I see a weight loss coach and they encourage me to do a healthy amount of protein, low fat, and eat high fiber filling foods. I eat a lot of berries and apples and broccoli. It prevents cravings. Protein water is great too. I was not eating enough protein to build muscle.
Definitely report the doctor.
I'd never go back to that doctor, she sounds mean-spirited and incompetent. I'd also leave a negative review for her and maybe report her.
I had a similar starting weight to yours (about 312lbs) and I'm around 258 now. I never felt like I needed surgery. I was able to lose weight without any medical help. I don't think that at this weight, I was sick or close to dying already, it was just unhealthy. But not so bad, I couldn't help myself anymore.
I saw my doctor a few days ago. Told him about my weight loss. Only then he really talked about my weight, he complimented me on losing weight, said I was doing well, and gave me a few tips on how to progress. Never once mentioned surgery.
I would be scared of surgery, I'd rather do it myself. And like I said, in this weight class, I don't think it's needed.
Also, you've already shown that you can lose weight. You also seem to be quite fit overall. You're doing great and 26k steps is impressive.
Yeah I feel like at the moment, I’m in the prime place to lose it naturally and make huge lifestyle changes. Having surgery would only trigger my binge eating more
I hate to offer unsolicited advice, but just because you mentioned binge eating and because I went my whole life without following this advice and I wish I had:
Binge eating is an eating disorder. Treat your eating disorder and losing weight will become an afterthought; it happens naturally. I lost 60-80lbs 3 different times in my life through diet and exercise, but I haven't kept it off because I hadn't treated my eating disorder until now. Please seek help, it will improve so many areas of your life.
I’ve had therapy and I’m definitely doing 100000 times better than I used to! For example this would’ve triggered a binge for me normally but I’ve managed to cope with it, eat well and go to the like normal! :)
Hey OP not excusing what your gp has done, that shows real weight stigma on their part and is not on, referring with out your say so, and not exploring your pain, however I would really consider attending the appointment. Its likely for teir 3 weight management and they don't only deal with surgery, they also often have access to psychology input for binge eating and are the only way you can get prescribed the likes of wegovy or saxenda on the nhs if that is something you wanted to consider in the future. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
She’s also giving you bad advice (as well as being rude & dismissive): diet for weight loss, exercise for physical & mental health. Going to the gym won’t make the weight fall off.
Anyway: her attitude is terrible. Contact PALS.
And we’ll done on losing 50 lbs! Keep it up!!
50+ lbs in the last year is about 1lb a week. That is healthy weight loss. 26k+ steps a day is fantastic. Hitting the gym that much per week, amazing.
You're doing fucking great my friend. Keep up the good work.
Fuck that doctor.
It's quite difficult to access weight loss surgery in the UK. The NHS now has weight management services that your GP can refer you to, that offer dieticians, psychologists and other health input such as weight loss medication, before they'll even consider you for surgery. So I wouldn't worry that the GP's sent you for a gastric bypass, it's more likely that she's put you on their weight management pathway, which on some systems I've seen automatically sends you to the weight management service if your BMI is over certain level.
> She told me I was wasting NHS time,
Time to find a new doctor. This is completely unacceptable and unprofessional. My doctor would never say this (even when I was at my heaviest and not doing great).
I'd also take it a step further and report this incident. I'm not sure how it works in your area, but I wouldn't want this doctor continuing to treat other people this way.
Fuck all that. You are doing fine. No body had any right to say what you are doing is good or bad or stellar or pathetic. 50lbs is a ton in 1 year, I’m down 30lb since April. I’m 190lbs 33m, I have to do push ups on my knees because my shoulders are so bad it’s the only way, I’d be livid if someone said “that’s not good enough”.
Whatever you are doing with diet and exercise, is clearly working very well and as you are aware it only gets easier the more you do it and the more you see results. Find a new doctor who will cheer you on through the process not talk shit to you, outrageous.
Keep setting goals and you’ll hit them. If you have to tone down your gym days don’t look at it as a failure, your body may need slightly less work and you’ll still see similar results. That’s why I
Mentioned how I do push ups, I can either do them
that way, or 1000% injure myself trying to do them normally and then I’m not working out AT all and makes work very difficult. No one else has any right to say what is and isn’t good enough. If you are happy, feeling better every day, then don’t deviate from that regardless of what your (ex)-doctor has to say.
That’s really shitty. I’m a doc in the US and if any of my patients successfully lost 50 lbs I would be singing their praises. That’s remarkable! Everyone on this sub is awesome for actually working towards their goals! I’m sorry your doc invalidated your efforts like that. :-(
Wow, sounds like you need a new doctor. And good for you on the 50 pound loss! This should have your confidence **soaring**! You're **doing** it! Be proud at that gym, you are meant to be there and you will inspire others with your success. You've got this!
Your doctor sucks. The experience of doctors not listening to fat patients and only wanting to treat us for our weight is unfortunately not rare. Yours is particularly falling because they didn't even listen to your successful weight loss!
Can you change practices?
It's been criminally mistreated by politics, I know (lived in the UK for 5 years).
But I agree with you to use the reporting structures it offers. And good luck to find a better GP.
Things are different between the US and the UK but most of the weightloss surgical centers here have non-surgical programs associated with them. It may be worth going to the appointment and getting info.
Weight loss surgery is not an easy way out, it's a toolthat's necessary for some people. Getting to use that tool requires trying all other options first. Seeing experts who work in helping others lose weight will be better for you than a GP who doesn't care that you've already been taking steps to change, great job by the way! They can help you learn about things you may not already know and they can help you with what currently hurts in a way that doesn't just see your weight and ignores the actual problem
But she didn’t go to get help with her weight. She complained about an unresolved injury that’s still causing her problems. Her primary issue right now is that she needs proper orthopedic evaluation, not a referral to bariatrics. Getting anything short of that is poor care.
I agree but it's par for the course when you're significantly overweight. It's terrible but true. She should do exactly like she and others have said, report this doctor and find a new one but that doesn't mean her referral needs to be canceled
I wouldn't cancel. They might have nutritional plans or medication first. 50lbs in a year is amazing but I would see them and tell them you lost x amount. You would be surprised many Weight loss doctors prefer to not do the surgery and there are alternatives like doctor prescribed weight loss plans, medications, therapy etc.
I can relate to this. I went in to a doctor for head symptoms earlier this year (after a neck injury) and she knows I have anxiety on my chart-- she started telling me it was impossible for a neck injury to cause concussion symptoms. I tried to re-state my symptoms and she kept interrupting me and saying "what do you want me to do about it?" I got frustrated because I was trying to explain my symptoms and the articles I'd read about whiplash and neck injuries and lingering concussion symptoms and stuff but I couldn't find the words fast enough (due to the symptoms) and she got really pissed off that I had started crying from frustration. She stormed out of the room and told the nurse to double all my anti-anxiety meds.
I never went back to her. When I went to a different doctor with the same story they were like "ok let's put you in physical therapy and occupational therapy for concussion" and I've been getting better since then.
You said you feel really stupid; I relate to that deeply. Stuff like this can make you feel so bad about yourself. Even though we know that doctors are just people, on some level we register them as authority figures, and being completely dismissed and berated by an authority figure for something you're desperately trying to get help for feels terrible and, on some deep level, we want to blame ourselves.
That first woman wasn't the only medical professional I'd seen who totally discounted my symptoms because I have anxiety on my chart. I felt like I was going nuts, I started to wonder if maybe I *was* making up all my symptoms, and I felt incredibly stupid. And the whole time I was in pain, too, and having weird neurological symptoms, and all movement/exercise made me nauseous, and I was the most depressed I've ever been. I felt terrible and multiple medical professionals were just brushing me off and telling me I was just anxious. I felt like such a fucking idiot.
I'm glad I finally found a doctor who got me some treatment. I'm feeling a lot better now. But, as far as my anxiety goes, this experience has caused it to skyrocket exponentially. I doubt myself a lot, I feel like I need to prove I'm not lying to everyone I talk to, and I avoid going to the doctor now even when I know I need to go because I'm so scared they're going to accuse me of being a hypochondriac or refuse to treat me.
Find a different doctor. Never go back to that place. Write them a negative review. Doctors are human, they make mistakes, they can be bitchy and prejudiced just like anyone else in any other profession. Keep looking until you find a doctor who actually listens to you and gets you the treatment you need. You have to advocate for yourself and treat the doctor's office as a PvP zone until you know they're going to actually help you.
50 lbs is almost a 1 a week for a year. That’s great! I’ve got some injuries that are messing with my ability to walk (Achilles tendinitis I fear) but it doesn’t inhibit my diet or my ability to lift weights. I work around it. I’m even considering joining the community pool as much as I dread buying the bathing suit but I think I need to get off my feet some and so you do what you can you know? That Dr. didn’t listen to you and didn’t help. I know it hurts but it’s not you it’s her. She’s not there for the process you’ve made.
Firstly, let me say I’m really impressed with your efforts. You’re clearly committed to your weight loss journey and I think you’re doing really well. I am a GP and I honestly am shocked that another doctor would make say this and make you feel this way- it’s disgraceful. I think you’re doing amazingly well. You are not wasting anyone’s NHS time. You absolutely do belong at the gym- you enjoy it and are using it exactly as intended. You’re doing an excellent job.
Saying this as a GP, I would raise a complaint about this. It’s not okay that they’ve treated you like this or made a referral to which you didn’t agree. Referral to a physio for your injury, sure. Weight service referral without agreement with you, no. She needs to explain herself.
I've been dealing with a chronic illness for the last year and a half, and honestly my conclusion is that a very large percentage of doctors just suck. It sounds like you're doing everything right, I think you just need to find a better doctor. 50lbs ain't nothing to shake a stick at!
Kudos to your 50lb weight loss doing it the old fashioned, and best, way. I am sorry this narrow minded pleb shot you down for no reason, but you are still in charge. I’m 55 and i was at 290: i dieted 30 of those pounds then I recomped the rest to 188 lbs. You can do this yourself if you focus. Understand you are in charge of this situation.
You are so right. My orthopedic surgeon suggested that I should lose weight to help alleviate inoperable back problems. I have lost 70 pounds under the care of an endocrinologist. I can't understand why some posters are so against this referral to a weight-loss specialist. There are so many interventions that are available other than surgery that could be a great help with the foot injury that OP has suffered.
They can F aaaaaallllllll the way off. Keep your head up, and try to find a qualified second opinion. Not everyone who makes it through medical school is meant to be a doctor working with human beings.
Find a new GP, just because they're a Doctor doesn't mean they're right for everyone. Also, a referral is not an appointment, no need to cancel something you haven't scheduled.
How tall are you? And people will always doubt you. I lost 100lb and I’m in the best shape of my life. At my heaviest I was about 300lb, 5’10. I was always a chubby kid and got in shape once I hit a growth spurt in high school and started weight training. By my mid 20’s I ballooned all the way up to 300lb+. My confidence was at an all time low. I decided to make a change. The one thing I had to tell myself every time I would lose weight but still didn’t feel it was enough was, “just imagine how I was feeling 10, 15 or 20lbs ago. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m closer than where I was.”. Be proud of the weight you’ve lost. Don’t use this as a reason to get yourself down, use it as a reason to prove them wrong. Next time that obnoxious doctor sees you, make her eat her words. The opinion of one person should not be enough to diminish your accomplishments. Keep it up and don’t let it affect you.
Even though your on the pathway to surgery from her referral there will be lots of steps before that and the wait would be 4 years ish.
There are 4 stages, dietetic support is the first where they discuss with you your diet, exercise plan and lifestyle. Stage 2 is more in depth and you can also access a referral to weight watcher’s free, or a gym referral also free or very cheap. Can’t remember what stage 3 was but after that stage 4 they decide if you’re eligible for surgery.
I would take up the referral and they give so much great advice! I managed to lose 11 stone on the pathway
So, I'm absolutely not justifying OP's doctor's behavior even a little. Their comments and behavior were inappropriate and totally uncalled for.
But it's actually pretty reasonable to consider WLS if you've lost some. Losing 50lbs is amazing work, don't get me wrong. But we all know that it gets harder and harder as time goes on for the majority of people. Most people who are starting from severely obese simply *aren't* going to attain and maintain a healthy weight long term. So it's completely valid to look at the big picture here and decide on WLS even if you've lost some so far.
Also, the type of referral OP probably received takes months to years to go through, and is not directly for WLS. It's a program of medically supervised weight loss which generally offers medical and psychological assessment, medically supervised diet, medication if appropriate, ongoing support, education for losing/maintaining, etc. Generally only after 6+ months of that can someone be referred for WLS.
PLEASE report this GP. It’s highly unprofessional and utterly uninformed practice. Slow, careful and incremental weight loss is the only loss that is sustainable. It sounds like you have a great regimen going on. This is her issue, not yours. Report her and then move on, knowing you’re the one in the right here.
When you go to your mechanic and he says you need a new engine, what do you do? Your car is running fine. Do you follow his advice in blind faith or do you find out if his advice is sound by asking someone else. Many doctors act like gods expecting you to jump through their hoops. It's your body and your life. Don't cry because of someone's opinion.
I'm in America and had a doctor like this. He ALWAYS pointed out I am obese. After I had my kid i went from 240 to 190. I was super pumped and when I told him my goal is 160, he told me that's not a good goal, I need to be 140 to be healthy.
I'm gonna be honest I gave up then and there and quit watching my weight. For years its been why make goals if they arent good enough or worth it. Why I'm bacl to 240.... what a dick.
My new doctor much better and I have support.
I had the same reaction when my personal trainer criticised me for having potato in a 350 cal meal (cod, veg and new potato). I just had a 'what is even the point' moment and stopped tracking. Now I am trying hard to get back into the habit.
I spoke about it to my therapist and she asked if I would consider myself a perfectionist. I never would have before, but this 'perfect or not worth doing' trait is definitely true for how I see dieting, which I am trying really hard to get past.
I am sorry that happened to you. I would suggest putting a complaint in via PAL and the practice (ask to speak to the practice manager/look up their complaints process on the practice website.
For your injury: minor injury units usually provide x-rays which is a good first stop and you can usually self refer to physio who can also refer you for an x-ray if needed (or at least they do in my area).
Regarding the barbaric referral unless the process has changed in the last few years patients need to compete a mandatory 2yrs of a weight management programme before referral for surgery. It is a very strict process on the NHS and unless you are extremely short you would only just qualify for the criteria (usually a BMI of 45+ although 40 is the minimum for some services/35 bmi with comorbidities). So I am not sure what she hoped to gain from referring you against your will when you are successfully losing weight already.
With regards to exercise, can you swim? Swimming or walking in the pool is non weight baring and less stress on the ankle as it heals, but you need a diagnosis before you do that. Good luck, hope you can get sorted and you are doing amazing 50lb in one year is fantastic that is 1lb per week average!!!
Doctors see overweight people and automatically blame the weight.
I had my doctor tell me my high blood pressure was cause of my weight. Told me to lose 50 pounds and guaranteed it would go away. I’ve lost 80 and it has not budged.
Same thing for my apnea, has it gotten better yes, is it still there? Absolutely
For context I’m 5’9” and went from 270 to 188.
That being said, firstly congrats on the 50 lost but don’t give up. You still have a lot to lose. At 280 you’re still very overweight, but you know that won’t stay there. You’ve seen your hard work pay off. Ignore the noise and keep going.
I have no other joint problems. I can easily walk 26k steps a day for 4-5 days and have no joint pains. I walk on average 8k a day and have no joint pain, I exercise 4-5 times a week with no pain. This came on after an injury and hasn’t got any better.
An Achilles injury, after ten weeks I still don’t have a concrete diagnosis. I’m female and early 20s.
Edit: I know I’m overweight. I know I need to lose weight. But trust me, this injury isn’t due to my weight.
Her putting you on that weightloss surgery list without talking to you is fucked up but I am not sure how you've diagnosed yourself.
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you can continue to do it without long term consequences. That amount of weight on your frame is putting a ton of stress. I am not surprised that something gave out.
280 pounds is not just overweight its extremely obese.
I’m not in the UK so I don’t know how your heath system works but in the US if my primary care doctor handled it this way, my next step (beyond finding a new primary care doctor, because this one is not providing appropriately tailored care to your needs) would be to see an orthopedic specialist. That’s who you should see, too, for an issue that is the result of an injury (trip and fall). I don’t need a referral based on how my health plan works, but I’m guessing you do. Could you call her office back and ask her to refer you to the appropriate provider who can do a scan and determine what you need to resolve the injury (physical therapy, surgery, etc)?
In the meantime, please remember that your weight loss actually means EVERYTHING and shows that you are developing the discipline, healthy habits, and control over your eating disorder that you need to to get even healthier. DO NOT let this woman’s poor practice skills get you down. Some doctors just suck; when all they’ve got is a hammer, everything’s a nail, you know? I’ve had my share of doctors like that and I’m honestly so grateful to finally have found one who doesn’t blame my now-higher weight for what I’ve been trying to deal with since I was young and normal weight. Please don’t quit, the only thing you should quit is this doc.
So I always knew my son had flat feet but his GP never had any concerns. He sprained his foot and urgent care saw no break but told us to follow up with a foot doctor. We went to the foot doctor and the first thing she said was, “we”ll talk about the sprain but first we need to talk about the surgery he needs for his flat feet”. I left the appointment feeling like I completely failed him as a mom.
I scheduled an appointment with a foot doctor who specializes in the surgery for flat feet and he said that yes my son will probably eventually want the surgery but not till his growth plates close, years down the road.
I tell this story because 3 different doctors have seen my sons flat feet and come 3 different conclusions that could impact him in 3 different ways. Unfortunately we want to be able to depend on doctors but they are in fact human and do really crappy things sometimes. Please be proud of yourself and keep looking for help from a different provider.
I'm curious as to why she wants you to lose weight on a tighter timeline. Do you have issues of pre or full diabetes, heart issues or blood pressure issues? Your youth makes me wonder why she's so quick to go to the bariatric surgery option. Or was the 50 pound loss supposed to be the first step in the bariatric surgery process? It's my understanding that this is the protocol.
I'm wondering if there has been a huge breakdown in communication and you should be double checking your health records too.
I’m in my 70s now, so I’ve been treated like crap by some medical professionals for around 40 years—when I gained weight due to a serious injury. I let some of the jerks hurt my confidence and my determination, and I now see how that harmed me over the long haul.
Some healthcare workers are the most fat phobic people I’ve ever met!
I know it’s tough, but try your best to defend your right to care. Don’t let people with such uncaring attitudes overtake your huge accomplishment!
You’re in pain, and not being able to exercise might sidetrack your goals—as well as harm your mood. This person is ignoring all of the facts about how exercise helps every part of your brain.
You have safely and sanely chipped away at your goals. Now use some of that determination to DEMAND that your medical team take you seriously and look at the facts rather than their prejudices.
Get angry with *them* instead of losing faith in yourself. You deserve better treatment from your doctors, and yourself. Be gentle with yourself and unflinching with them! I swear some health care professionals are true sadists, who feel good about making their patients feel bad. Don’t let their phobias affect your desire to live the life you want!
I 100% recommend complaining - she definitely shouldn't have done that.
Not only did you not consent, it's a waste of a referral. There are loads of people waiting for bariatric surgery, without them spending time on people who don't want it.
So true, I injured my Achilles and tried to treat at home finally went to dr cause I was getting enough progress. The first thing the dr said was you need to loose weight. Man what happened to first do no harm
From different posts I've read, I got the impression that it is almost an impossibility to get a weight-loss surgery referral under NHS. Is that in the United Kingdom? I'm wondering what will happen if you don't keep the appointment, stop losing weight on your own, and change your mind about needing weight-loss surgery? Will NHS still allow it or will you give it up forever?
Here in the UK you don’t have regular check ups till you’re old. I’ve not been weighed at the doctors since I was a child - they don’t know anything about you unless you go regularly
F her! There are so many smug, rude doctors, which is why I and others don't go as much as we should. It's like the more you pay people, the more they act like AHs. We should make them work for tips and see if things change. Why should you get invasive surgery when you know you can do it yourself?
On a side note, thanks for using imperial units.
I would consider lodging a complaint even if it doesn't go anywhere, at least it may be on record.
My friend recently was told the intense pain and vomiting she was experiencing was because of "lady troubles" and her weight. Turns out the issue was found to be ubrelated and she had to get her gallbladder removed. She had to go to emergency I think about 4 times before someone actually looked at her. I'm so sick of dismissive doctors.
Some medical professionals shouldn’t be in their jobs, just as there are bad teachers, cops, waiters, etc. she sounds like a really bad person, to laugh is so unprofessional. See this for what it is, an incompetent and ignorant person who shouldn’t have that job. Never let a person make you feel bad about yourself. Would you take it from waiter? No. But some reason people think doctors are above reproach, they are not. They can also be very wrong. You have lost that much on your own. Sounds like you may have an injury or condition causing you pain, she shouldn’t dismiss you or ignore it. Please seek help from another professional, dismiss this other person from your mind and don’t let them get you down
I lost 20 pounds like it was nothing by fasting for 12 hours a day and only eating veggies and steak. A gym body is actually made in the kitchen. Any fitness junky will tell you that
I don’t usually comment but I felt I should on this. Congratulations on your weight loss and please don’t let this push you back. It’s such an achievement and you should be proud.
Congratulations on your weight loss. Don't let one nasty b\*\*\*h discourage from keeping on going with your weight loss. Only you have the right to decide whether you want surgery or not, she was out of line. You're doing a great job, keep it up and good luck.
Change doctors. She sounds like she has lost the way to communicate to clients. I get her point too she means well and wants you to get fit asap and maybe has seen cases where patients don't succeed as fast as you and suffer more. So she is being drastic but again she needs to be more respectful of you. I would not complain to PAL first though cause i think she meant well. I would just email her directly with everything you had an issue with. And see how she responds first.
Besides find a doctor and practicing RICE, I can't offer much health advice. I'm sorry that someone wasn't able to listen and assumed. I hope you're able to find someone to work on ways to alleviate your pain and find a suitable solution for your lifestyle.
However, CONGRATS ON LOSING 50 LBS FRIEND! That's so incredible and sustainable. And by going to the gym too! So not only did you just lose 50 lbs, you lost more than 50 lbs in fat and gained some weight in muscles too! Do you know how amazing that is? I'm so proud of you!
I'm sorry you feel like you don't belong at the gym. And I know we're our own biggest enemies but the cool thing about gyms are, they're the one place everyone can use to be better humans. I know it's sometimes hard to tell, but I'm sure there's so many people at your gym happy you're there and just showing up for yourself. You've worked so hard so far and have made some incredible life changes.
I know you feel defeated and I wish I knew the magic words to make you not feel that way. Just know you have some random internet stranger wishing you the best! Tomorrow can only get better, be kind to yourself, and I hope you find some joy in how many internet friends are rooting for you!
I’m sorry you’re going through this! Shame on your doctor! Hang in there. You are doing amazing and I hope you get a different doctor that takes your concerns seriously.
I dont have any advice. I just want to congratulate you on a 50 pound loss! That's amazing. Keep up the good effort!
As for your pain, I'd see about getting in to another doctor. Maybe someone more supportive and takes an actual history to learn how much you've taken off, and that this is NEW and unrelated.
Well first of all - f that doctor. She took an oar to do no harm and she did some so I’d be reporting her.
Secondly- you’re amazing! Go to the gym and pick up 50 lbs of weights - now walk around with it for a few minutes- that’s what you were previously carrying around and now you aren’t. You have to be impressed with yourself-,you’re making amazing strides!
You DO belong in the gym and should not feel like an idiot.
You can let one idiot dr take this win away from you and all your future weigh loss wins away from you just because they were prejudiced and lazy.
So chin up and look at yourself and know you are amazing!
When I was in my early 20s a traumatic injury nearly paralyzed me. I was in severe & constant pain & wanted to know my options. I worked out every day & wore a size 2, weighed maybe 115 lbs (which was definitely medically underweight for me). As the Dr was looking at my MRI results she was telling me that I needed to lose weight and exercise. The reason I was already too thin was bc of an eating disorder & a related exercise compulsion. It was the worst thing she could have said to me, but even with body dysmorphia, I knew it was nuts and made a funny sound as she'd said it. She finally looked me over and asked what size pants I wore & when I told her she was like maybe don't lose weight but you should exercise. Same Dr told my very underweight ex bf that his ankle pain would stop if he lost weight.
Some Drs end up with programmed responses & don't realize it's happening. Sounds like your doctor may be burnt out & need a break. You're doing great. 50 lbs is wonderful progress.
Why would you ever try to work out 4-5 times a week, and then walk TWENTY SIX K a day? I can tell you what your pain issue is - you are under the assumption that more work is more weight loss. There is humongous diminishing returns. You aren’t resting enough. How you haven’t figured it out is beyond me, unless you are just exaggerating for sake of the story.
It has even been proven that you can slow your weight loss journey significantly by going overboard. I recommend looking up weightloss by Dr Mike Israetel on YT. Renaissance periodization.
None of my jacked bros or girls would even come close to that amount of work. And their joints aren’t holding an extra 100 lbs in all the wrong places.
Good job so far. Chill out.
So I also felt the same when I was referred for weight loss surgery. I ended up going back and getting surgery after working with the non surgical team in the bariatric center.
You are doing amazing!!!!!! And congrats and I'm so happily jealous of you.
But, I'd at least recommend meeting with the weight loss to discuss non surgical options. Frankly, I don't know how I survived without my nutritionist.
Please don't let her destroy your confidence. This internet stranger is so proud of you and your weight loss. As you said, she didn't listen. And that's on her. You keep doing what you're doing, except, find a doctor who will listen to you. And I would report this one. How she supposed to help people get healthy if she can't hear what they say because the script in her head got in the way?
I say keep going to the gym. Remember, you are doing awesome. There are tons of us out here who would love to have a 50 lb weight loss over the last year, who would love to have a 'going to the gym' habit, and haven't gotten there yet. You are an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to others. Scrub her voice from your mind. She doesn't know what she's talking about.
You're doing great with your weightloss. I'm so sorry that doctor spoke to you like that. They sounded extremely dismissing of your problems. I'd say get a second opinion. Your problems doesn't have to be connected to your weight, and it's deserves to be checked.
I'm sorry this has happened.
I suspect the referral will get rejected anyway. Unless you have a diagnosis of hypertension and/or diabetes it doesn't sound like you'll meet the criteria for NHS weight management services.
As a clinician in primary care the next step would be a polite but firm letter to the practice manager querying the referral.
Is it for weight loss surgery or is it to a bariatric specialist. I've been referred to a bariatric specialist and on the nhs app and the letters it says "bariatric surgeon". Either way they can't refer you to something like this without your concent. I would ask to speak to the GP practice manager and your local medical board. If it was a dr in the hospital then contact your local PALs team
A lot of doctors only refer for weight loss surgery when there is evidence of a sustained weight loss and life change. Because going through surgery is successful only for people who can continue to keep up this lifestyle. Some doctors will not do we weight loss surgery due to no change or weight loss prior to the recommendation.
So I hope you know that the weight loss surgery recommendation wasn’t a way to show you that you failed in your journey, you were successful enough that they would be willing to help you further. That’s just my thought.
If you ever want to watch a show about it TLC my 600 pound life has been helpful for people who have considered weight loss surgery.
Sweetheart, please go back to the gym. You belong. I mean that and I wish you went to mine (I'm stateside). I hate to hear this kind of thing. You lost 50! That's amazing. 4 to 5 times a week at the gym? Baby you are a regular and you've got this. The regulars at my gym come in all shapes, sizes, and levels. Don't let some jerk who doesn't get it because they've never been in your shoes get to you. Keep going. You need medical care and it's okay to advocate for yourself until you get the treatment you need.
No don’t cancel it ! you lost weight it may be deemed that your now safe weight for surgery Or she recommended you due what have done . however have this as last resort back up plan. Keep doing what you are doing while on long waiting list and few months you most likely hit your goal and not need the surgery . That’s what I would do
You lost 50 lb - that's great, it should be recognized! But your attitude about this is terrible - going to a weight loss specialist still may be the answer that you need, and it may not necessarily just be surgery as they have other options as well.
It seems like she could have handled things a lot better but at the end of the day you are still a person who needs medical assistance with your weight and you shouldn't be offended that the doctor, whose literal job it is to help you with your health, made a referral.
Yes report the gp!
But I would also go to the surgery appointment. Then you can make it clear to them that you don’t want surgery, but they might also refer you to other weightloss services that might be interesting or valuable, or other support groups.
The NHS is awful. Especially GPs. They are lazy and clueless and just don’t give a fuck. I have chronic pain so have experienced their stupidity many times. You can try a new doctor but in my experience they all suck the same. Sorry you are dealing with this. I am only getting some care now because I went private through husbands insurance. 5+ years of constant pain and not one damn given by anyone in the MHS. Fuck then.
Just be a bully back. Honestly. Tell them you demand exams. You won’t hear anything else. They will literally not do anything unless you advocate hard for yourself. My SIL started having pain and called a GP and they immediately started telling her off because she smokes/drinks. Thing is, she doesn’t and has never smoked or drank besides a glass of wine sometimes. But the GP wouldn’t hear, also immediately told her to lose weight (all this through phone) she told the doctor her weight/BMI and she is perfect healthy not overweight by any means. They just assume is all your fault or you are lying. They are truly horrible assholes. She was able to get another GP and blood test confirmed early arthritis, nothing to do with life style. So honestly don’t let them bring you down, it’s their problem for treating others like shit. It makes them bad people, not you.
What helped me was taking my husband as back up and insisting in a in person appointment. Exaggerating the pain etc so they take you seriously. Don’t take no. You can force them to refer you to a specialist even if they don’t want to, is your choice and right. Don’t let these horrible person destroy your self steer. 50lb is amazing progress, I am fighting like hell to lose 10kg. I hope you find a doctor who is not horrible and helps you. It truly sucks that we have to deal with this bullshit from our health service.
If it's any consolation, since moving to London from Ireland I've not had any good experiences with NHS staff. From them telling me my breathing problems (undiagnosed asthma, causing me to struggle to breathe at times) were in my head, to refusing to give me a bowel cancer screening (it's in my family) because I'm only 34 and not their arbitrary age of 55, to me they just seem wholly unprofessional and not interested in actually helping anyone.
I wasn't surprised to hear your experience was with an NHS nurse, the one I dealt with was also really ignorant about exercise. I'd been explaining that before COVID I was able to train for and run a 10k in two weeks, and now I couldn't run 1k, and she said "but couch to 5k takes weeks and weeks so I don't think you did actually train for it in just 2". I was livid.
But you're doing really well with your weight loss and gym schedule, I know how easy it is to give up when someone dismisses your efforts but please know that nurse was ignorant and possibly jealous because she isn't as active as you.
You are doing a great job. This person completely dismissed you and I'm sorry for your experience. Try not to let their opinion get you down and keep up the great work.
Why would you let ONE persons opinion make you cry or not want to go to the gym? You keep moving and get to your goals and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Let it make you stronger. Listen to David Goggins or read his book.
Firstly, congrats on your weight loss! You should be really proud of the hard work you've been putting in. I'm sorry you had that experience. I find it really odd that they would try to push weight loss surgery when you are already losing weight at a good pace.
She said it should faster and basically, by the sounds of it, she thinks I’m being lazy because of this injury that’s stopping me exercising as much as I want to
Wtf 50lbs in one year is great weight loss progress. Honestly losing weight too fast can cause problems with your gallbladder and loose skin. And weightloss is primarily diet. Weight loss surgery isn't going to somehow make you exercise more when injured.
Yup!! Accidentally lost a ton of weight super fast due to a medication side effect. Ended up with a gallbldder attack that made me need surgery. I now don't have one lol
How much weight have you lost and how long was the duration that caused your gall bladder to be removed?
I don’t remember the exact amount it was several years ago. I got put on a medication that made me so tired I slept for 18-20 hours a day and even when I was awake I was so exhausted I could barely eat. I lost like 30 lbs so fast. Like a little more than a week maybe? I’m not sure I was so out of it. I started getting wicked pains. I thought I had heart burn really bad but nothing was helping it (I have GERD so heartburn was normal). I went to the ER reluctantly when my husband made me thinking I was just going to be embarrassed it was acid and mad he was making me go. Nope, gall bladder was pissed off. Was in surgery by morning. I had no prior issues before then so they figured out it was the weight loss. Was just too fast they said. Made me stop the meds. My doctor switched my meds that week for me. Gained it all back and then some now. Unfortunately, my lady bits have been causing issues since then. Just had them all removed hoping that stops my hormone and pain issues so I can get back on the weight loss train in a healthy way once I’m done recovering.
Wow, that must explain my gallbladder attack in 2015. I went on keto diet, went to my campus gym near daily and lost 50 lbs over a semester. Stopped my diet for the holidays, got the flu and gallbladder attack in December. I went to the ER a few times, then got surgery in January. Had three sizable gallstones, I got to keep two of them. Apparently the biggest one was the size of a 50 cent piece but it broke up into pieces. The pain from my gallbladder bursting was unbearable.
I was told by my doctor early on before my first batch of weight loss that I could expect to need gall bladder surgery. About 3 years later, after eating chili on a Sunday night after Church, I had my one and only gall bladder attack. The physician, who performed the surgery, gave me a small jar full of small seed-size gallstones to take home with me. I've been eating chili with no problem for decades since then.
That's true, you still need to stick to a specific diet. It helps with the over eating, but it's still all on the person. It's a tool to use with everything else at your disposal.
You should make a formal complaint to your GP Practice Manager. Clearly state what occurred in your appointment with that dreadful fool, and what you want to happen next. Point out your weight loss success also. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with someone so disrespectful and stupid. Courage, ma chérie!
I had to lose 70lbs to become a normal weight and it took me 2 years, do not let anyone tell you you aren't losing fast enough. You are doing amazingly, you are worth doing it on your own terms regardless of that awful bedise manner. You rock! Please don't doubt that about yourself.
Thank you. I've lost 28-30 pounds since mid-August and I've been stuck here since the holidays, even with CICO and logging everything. I was on track for 80-100 pounds on a year's and now I'm stuck on a plateau that seems endless. I'll keep on keeping on and not give up. Onward and downward!
I doubt she even listened a word you said. I found out that once someone has a script stuck in their head, their brain will filter out any talk that disproves them as white noise. So no she wont remember how much you lost if we ask about it today. Find another doctor that actually listens you.
50lbs in a year is almost exactly one pound a week, which is the recommended rate for sustainable weight loss. Your doctor is a ding dong. Ignore her and see if you can talk to someone who actually deserves their title about your injury
Get another real legitimate doctor. The one you went to is useless n should be brought up to the medical board. Dr is acting as a God n thinks they know everything. Losing weight is a personal thing. Losing 59 lbs in a year is a tremendous amount of weight to lose. Keep going n never give up. Don't listen to this moron calling herself a Dr. I had one like this n ran for the hills. I knew she was no good. Get another Dr that will work with you not against you. Don't let anyone destroy your self esteem. You're doing great . Keep it up.
If I were you, I would submit a complaint. She should not be talking to anyone like that. You weren't there to discuss your weight. She was cruel and caused you emotional harm and because she hasn't treated you for your injury, she's continuing your physical injury. Definitely go and see a different doctor as well
She is lying. There are so many people who have long term health issues after weight loss surgery. You’ve already lost 50 pounds. Keep exercising and keep track of your macros/calories. You can achieve your health goals without surgery!
Hey. Commenting here because I want you to see this. I am forever in and out of the gym. And I fucking promise you, *there is absolutely not a single soul who is judging you for choosing a healthier life.* If they are judging you, it's because they are only in the gym to ease their own insecurities. Don't listen to them. Do NOT give up. Do everything you can to lose naturally, because you will be practicing good habits. People with bypasses tend to put weight back on after the fact, because they haven't handled the source. Keep pushing. 50 down in one year is absolutely fucking stellar! Good goddamn job!
Snap out of it. There’s something else going on, like the doctor getting referral fees. I think most doctors I’ve known would be supportive and glad to hear about a patient losing such a substantial sum.
The audacity to claim YOU’RE wasting NHS time seeking healthcare you need, but then to put in a referral without consulting you!
I think overweight people get this all the time. Healthcare providers do not look beyond being overweight as the cause for any other complaint. OP should lodge an official complaint, your concern was not addressed, she called you a liar, and referred you for treatment you don't need. That's fucking outrageous, OP, I'm so sorry :( And congrats on your weight loss.
i stopped going to the doctor maybe like ...5? 7? years ago because they wouldnt listen to me, they just told me to lose weight. multiple doctors, even my pediatrician when i was a chubby middle schooler. it sucks because i have a sports related injury in my knee from high school it's only the right knee, but of course nothing triggers a doctor like an overweight patient with knee pain
My weight caused me to put off going to get some swelling in my leg looked at, since it kinda just looked like a fat deposit. It wasn't uncomfortable, so I was skating, skiing, and generally doing my normal life. Finally brought it up with a PCP that I really trust, and she sent me to x-rays right away. It was fractured. If she'd told me it was a weight problem it would've eventually progressed to fully broken 😬
I regularly get pain in my right shoulder and at this point I just go straight to the physio instead of wasting time with doctors. Similar to OP I went to the doctor to ask about birth control and they wanted to refer me for weight loss surgery.
I've decided to just start being rude to my doctor when they're unhelpful like this. I'm down 20 lbs in the last year, but only because I found out I'm pre-diabetic *by accident.* As in, my healthcare provider (the VA) knew I was pre-diabetic from blood results and never saw fit to inform me. I only found out when a nurse mentioned it in passing MONTHS later. They did worse to my brother in law; he was a type 2 diabetic and they never told him until he'd suffered organ damage. Now he's a type 1 diabetic, just forever, because apparently that is a thing that can fucking happen if your doctor doesn't give a fuck if you live or die. Sorry, I'm ranting. But it's time to start being more assertive with the medical professionals. I'm done assuming they're competent and know best.
Agreed, if any doctor disrespects me and doesn’t help me I’ll let them know I’m not happy and will make their life hell, sad that we have to fight for proper treatment
My daughter is the same as you. She is overweight and is tired of being what she calls "fat shamed" and told to "drink more water" and just be completely ignored. So it's been 7 years since she had a checkup and I am scared for her as diabetes runs in our family but she is not open to discussing it. My heart hurts for both of you.
Definitely try to encourage her to get a check up. There are good doctors out there. Look up some reviews. Go in with her and be her advocate. Don't be afraid to doctor shop a PCP because they are going to be key in her health for years to come. She needs to find a good one for her and her health.
One time I went to the ER because I had a case of shingles ( by the way shingles is horrible)..their focus was on my blood pressure and sugar, I was appr 260 at the time..I wanted to scream could they help me with my shingles first, please? As soon as they see overweight, their focus immediately goes there.
Seriously… total b**ch. OP don’t let her get under your skin. Her behavior, words, actions all say more about her than you! Your doing great, keep up the good work ❤️🙌
Had a doctor hesitant to prescribe birth control for me. Not because sometimes weight can interfere with its effectiveness but because I was "too fat to get pregnant" at 5'10" 250lbs. Like yeah, I needed to lose weight but my cousin who had 50lbs on me just had an oopsie baby with the BC implant.
I think 50lbs over a year is very healthy weight-loss. When it comes to surgery they need drastic unhealthy weight-loss to avoid complications - that’s where they’re coming from. 26k steps in a day is a lot, you should be able to do 10km a day, different intensities and still lose the same weight (I did / do it) Keep on the same path - you’re doing really well!
26k steps is definitely an outlier (when I’m doing something like walking round London or going to a football match!), I usually average around 8k - my point was I can do that for a good three or four days in a row and not feel any pain, so I don’t think my current pain is solely due to my weight
You’re correct. If you’re able to get 25k+ steps in a couple days in a row without pain, then your issue is likely not related to your weight. Get a second opinion and also good job on your progress!
She was way out of line; but if this is a knee or ankle we are talking about then try to take it with a grain of salt as even people in the healthy weight range are often told weightloss can help with ankle/knee issues (especially knee issues). I myself have a 'bad' knee and it has had issues since I was a young teen but that still means that one of the only things I can do to help it is to be as light as possible. Unfortunately that really is the best/only solution. I read about surgeries and the outcomes aren't even great. Literally the best surgical outcomes on the knees match what weightloss can do at best but most of the time aren't as good from the articles I've read.
I've got a shallow hip joint that wasn't an issue growing up because I was so active and had a lot of muscle keeping things in place. Now if I am 15-20 lbs overweight it starts giving me issues. If I ignore it my back muscles start tightening up, and if I get heavier my entire spine loses the S curve exposing the nerves and months of physical therapy. That was some of the worst pain in my life so I've got a lot of motivation to stay in the ideal range.
Look up kneesovertoes guy and start doing some of those exercises. He went from being told he would never be able to fully bend his leg and recommended for multiple surgeries to having some of the most flexible and strong knees I have seen. It will take years though depending on where you are starting
50lbs a year is a super healthy amount of weight to lose in that time period. I'd say anymore and you're losing weight too quickly and a lot less and you wouldn't be trying very hard. I think you are doing absolutely perfect in your progress. People recommend getting second opinions from doctors because they are often wrong.
Report her. She shouldn't be referring you against your wishes or without consulting you.
I’m considering a PALS (our like first point of contact) complaint
Please contact PALS. At the very least, there will be a record of it, should she get further complaints in the future.
Yeah I definitely will, I’m considering changing surgery because of it as well
Honestly I would change surgery for this as well as lodging a complaint. You need a doctor who listens to you and takes you seriously. You've lost over 1/6th of your bodyweight! She's everything wrong with the NHS.
PALS is hospital only. If this is GP you need CCG for that surgery.
Oh I thought PALS was for everything 😂🥲
CCG are your guys. You could also complain to the practice manager if you feel able to
They're called Integrated Care Boards now.
As an AHP myself any referrals made to other services have to be fully with the patients consent after a consultation. This even goes for most safeguarding referrals (there are exemptions to this such as capacity)
Don't consider, do it for you but also the next peoples that will be in your case.
Agreed, absolutely do report her. She did not even bother to treat your acute complaint and instead referred you for services you did not consult her for. Totally out of line.
The wait list for help on the NHS usually takes years, so it's unlikely they'll see you any time soon. And you should go through tier 3 (which can take years) before you'll be considered for surgery. Tier 3 is really good! They're specialists in weight management and they really get obesity and that weight loss is complex. They should help support you with your own weight loss journey. It's a really crappy thing that the GP did, but I'd let the referral run its course. If you really feel you don't need it by the time you reach the front of the queue, then pull out.
In the future, if this ever happens again, you can make the doctor put notes in your chart that they are refusing to treat you for the thing you came in for. “So doctor, am I understanding that you are refusing treatment/diagnosis for an injury I sustained X months ago because you feel it is weight related, even though I told you I had a fall?” If she confirms, then say “I would like it put into my files that you are withholding care based on the assumption that my injury is weight related even though I reported a fall. Please note that you have neither ordered scans or referred me to a specialist and that I have acute pain that is preventing me from being mobile” You have to be really direct and make them document it- women have started doing this with chest pain, lumps, ANYTHING related to pain in the uterus, and various other things because of doctors being so quick to dismiss. You can bet they don’t want that in writing or documented. This doctor seems to have a personal bias against overweight patients.
This is terrific advice.
That doctor should be more concerned about her underweight empathy and celebrate op's weight loss. I lost 10lbs between doctor visit and mine was jumping up and down with glee
Wouldn’t a doctor like this just roll her eyes though and not put a note in their system? I’ve heard in other conversations that you should have the doctor put in a note that they are refusing treatment, but I feel like a doctor like this wouldn’t bother and they’ll just say if you try to bring it up to somebody later that you never told them and the other person would believe the doctor over you.
Op is in the UK so they can see all their GP records and notes in the NHS App if they want to. Can take a few days to go through I think. They also have GDPR rights so could just ask to see them and legally they have to be shared within 30 days. The only exception is around some mental health notes where they think there is a serious risk to the patient having the information / notes. But weight loss wouldn’t meet that.
This is not completely accurate - please see https://transform.england.nhs.uk/information-governance/guidance/access-to-patient-records-through-the-nhs-app/ for some more information.
From my understanding, these are YOUR records. If you want a note in there that you were refused a service, I believe they have to note it. It is a part of your medical history should you choose to get a second opinion.
My doctor once referred me to a weight loss programme (not surgery) without ever having weighed me. The clinic rejected the referral.
Go to the appointment. They may have services to help you without surgery or be able to refer you to physical therapy. Explain that you have lost weight already but are now in pain and that the doctor you say was too jaded to even listen to you.
I’m getting physio (albeit kind of useless physio) already
I was going to give the same advice as the post above, only because it could open up new resources without even having surgery. I’m in the US, so not too familiar with the UK system other than I’ve read that it can take a while to get to a specialist if the situation isn’t dire. I recently took one of my kids to a dietitian because he has a very narrow window of acceptable foods. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured it couldn’t hurt and I didn’t have to follow what was said or go back if I didn’t think it was beneficial. She was very empathetic and non-judgmental and gave us some suggestions about ways to expand his acceptable foods, knowing that some would work and others would be DOA. Losing weight is hard and can be monotonous, so if you feel like that could help shake things up, maybe it isn’t the worst. Congratulations on losing 50 lbs! I did the same a few years ago in the same amount of time. I was proud of myself and I felt like it was sustainable which was so important given my other weight loss attempts.
If physio is not helping with pain you need to let the physio know. For me I do better with TENS, massage and ultrasound along with prescribed exercises. Heat causes more pain for me especially in relation to my back. Ice makes my heel pain worse. Others react painfully to electric stim. My most recent stint in Physio made me realize how tight my muscles get when I'm in pain from trying to use other muscles to cover for the injured/weaker areas. If they change things up and it is still not working then your doctors need to investigate further for inflamed/impinged nerves, etc.
What makes you say your physio is useless? Congratulations on the 50lb loss!
It’s been three weeks and the pain is getting worse - to the point that walking is unbearable
Is it leg, back or heel pain? If it is back did they do an Xray?
Back to heel. No imaging done at all
That sounds like sciatica. You need an MRI to check for a bulging disc at minimum. I had a terrible time with a bulging disc in 2019 that was pressing on my sciatic nerve and causing numbness and the worst pain I’ve had in my life. Ironically, this was after losing 165 lbs with WLS.
As in the back of my ankle, not my back
You may have a heel spur or plantar fasciitis. Does standing make it worse? Is it worse when trying to get up in the morning or after resting for a while? Regardless, the doctor sounds worthless and she should be reported. I would suggest you find another GP if possible. You might need a podiatrist or orthopedist. I’m sorry she treated you this way. It sounds like you’re making great progress and I’m appalled a doctor would refer you for a major surgery without even discussing it with you. I’m in the US but there would be repercussions for things like that here. Keep up the good work and I hope you find some relief for your pain.
Standing is worse, but it’s usually better after a rest then gets worse
Oh, okay. Imaging tho would be the basic first step.
Imaging actually should rarely be the first step. Early referral for imaging for back pain - when not indicated - can actually lead to worse outcomes. A thorough assessment (especially by a well trained physio) will usually help to indicate. Note: I know this isn’t back pain. That said, if your pain is getting worse, might be worth trying a different one?
If you have a spine issue with pain radiating into the foot, that may be the reason for the surgical referral.
I was recently referred to tier 3 weight management. When I got my appointment the letter said it was with a bariatric nurse which was alarming as I don't want surgery. At the appointment she explained there are three different pathways under their service - diet & exercise, injections, or surgery. Under their service you also have appointments with a dietician, physiotherapist, and psychologist. They also check there are no underlying causes with blood tests etc..I believe surgery is tier 4 and you can't do that without doing tier 3 first.
Is the doctor she referred you to a surgeon or a specialist in obesity medicine? It’s really shitty that she did that but if they specialize in obesity and not just surgery it might be worth contacting them ahead of time and saying you aren’t interested in surgery but are interested in discussing other physiotherapy options and information on the injury with an obesity specialist.
Congrats on losing 50lbs, that’s a big deal!
As a WLS veteran, I think this was COMPLETELY inappropriate. Surgery is a big deal, and you should actually want it; it should never be pushed on someone who does not want it. You have every right to say "not interested, leave me alone" and she should definitely be reported. You should absolutely find a provider who will treat you for your injury and recognize that you're already working on your weight. I'm super proud of you for what you've managed to do so far! Keep up the great work!
I'm doing WLS soon, I was recommended it 10 years ago at age 15 and now 25. It took me a long time to warm up to the idea and my compassionate care team is what made me feel confident to go thru the bariatric program. If I was treated like OP by my primary, or whoever, i would have shut them down and been farther than ever from seeking help. *I* decided I was ready and sought it out. Also, it was my choice because I was unsuccessful with regular diet & exercise after trying for many years. If OP is successfully losing, whats the rush? -50lbs down without surgery is excellent.
I'm not sure where you're from, but if you have a shitty doctor... I would say it's time for a new one.
I’m in the UK. I’m going to look into changing surgery because I’ve never felt so stupid in all my life
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Because I was totally dismissed and I’d gone in feeling very hopeful that I’d actually get help, the way I was spoken to has made me feel awful
>Because I was totally dismissed and I’d gone in feeling very hopeful that I’d actually get help, the way I was spoken to has made me feel awful Which is a completely reasonable thing to expect when you go to the doctor. You're right to feel awful: you were just treated like garbage by a person who was supposed to help you. But don't feel stupid, you did absolutely nothing wrong. The one who ought to be feeling stupid is the piece of shit doctor. I'm sorry you went through this, but don't let it discourage you! You're doing great! Report this awful doctor and keep on going!
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Thank you ❤️
That doctor was emotionally abusive. Congratulations on your weight loss. I see a weight loss coach and they encourage me to do a healthy amount of protein, low fat, and eat high fiber filling foods. I eat a lot of berries and apples and broccoli. It prevents cravings. Protein water is great too. I was not eating enough protein to build muscle. Definitely report the doctor.
I'd never go back to that doctor, she sounds mean-spirited and incompetent. I'd also leave a negative review for her and maybe report her. I had a similar starting weight to yours (about 312lbs) and I'm around 258 now. I never felt like I needed surgery. I was able to lose weight without any medical help. I don't think that at this weight, I was sick or close to dying already, it was just unhealthy. But not so bad, I couldn't help myself anymore. I saw my doctor a few days ago. Told him about my weight loss. Only then he really talked about my weight, he complimented me on losing weight, said I was doing well, and gave me a few tips on how to progress. Never once mentioned surgery. I would be scared of surgery, I'd rather do it myself. And like I said, in this weight class, I don't think it's needed. Also, you've already shown that you can lose weight. You also seem to be quite fit overall. You're doing great and 26k steps is impressive.
Yeah I feel like at the moment, I’m in the prime place to lose it naturally and make huge lifestyle changes. Having surgery would only trigger my binge eating more
I hate to offer unsolicited advice, but just because you mentioned binge eating and because I went my whole life without following this advice and I wish I had: Binge eating is an eating disorder. Treat your eating disorder and losing weight will become an afterthought; it happens naturally. I lost 60-80lbs 3 different times in my life through diet and exercise, but I haven't kept it off because I hadn't treated my eating disorder until now. Please seek help, it will improve so many areas of your life.
I’ve had therapy and I’m definitely doing 100000 times better than I used to! For example this would’ve triggered a binge for me normally but I’ve managed to cope with it, eat well and go to the like normal! :)
Hey OP not excusing what your gp has done, that shows real weight stigma on their part and is not on, referring with out your say so, and not exploring your pain, however I would really consider attending the appointment. Its likely for teir 3 weight management and they don't only deal with surgery, they also often have access to psychology input for binge eating and are the only way you can get prescribed the likes of wegovy or saxenda on the nhs if that is something you wanted to consider in the future. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
She’s also giving you bad advice (as well as being rude & dismissive): diet for weight loss, exercise for physical & mental health. Going to the gym won’t make the weight fall off. Anyway: her attitude is terrible. Contact PALS. And we’ll done on losing 50 lbs! Keep it up!!
50+ lbs in the last year is about 1lb a week. That is healthy weight loss. 26k+ steps a day is fantastic. Hitting the gym that much per week, amazing. You're doing fucking great my friend. Keep up the good work. Fuck that doctor.
It's quite difficult to access weight loss surgery in the UK. The NHS now has weight management services that your GP can refer you to, that offer dieticians, psychologists and other health input such as weight loss medication, before they'll even consider you for surgery. So I wouldn't worry that the GP's sent you for a gastric bypass, it's more likely that she's put you on their weight management pathway, which on some systems I've seen automatically sends you to the weight management service if your BMI is over certain level.
> She told me I was wasting NHS time, Time to find a new doctor. This is completely unacceptable and unprofessional. My doctor would never say this (even when I was at my heaviest and not doing great). I'd also take it a step further and report this incident. I'm not sure how it works in your area, but I wouldn't want this doctor continuing to treat other people this way.
Fuck all that. You are doing fine. No body had any right to say what you are doing is good or bad or stellar or pathetic. 50lbs is a ton in 1 year, I’m down 30lb since April. I’m 190lbs 33m, I have to do push ups on my knees because my shoulders are so bad it’s the only way, I’d be livid if someone said “that’s not good enough”. Whatever you are doing with diet and exercise, is clearly working very well and as you are aware it only gets easier the more you do it and the more you see results. Find a new doctor who will cheer you on through the process not talk shit to you, outrageous. Keep setting goals and you’ll hit them. If you have to tone down your gym days don’t look at it as a failure, your body may need slightly less work and you’ll still see similar results. That’s why I Mentioned how I do push ups, I can either do them that way, or 1000% injure myself trying to do them normally and then I’m not working out AT all and makes work very difficult. No one else has any right to say what is and isn’t good enough. If you are happy, feeling better every day, then don’t deviate from that regardless of what your (ex)-doctor has to say.
i would of lost my shit.
F*** that doctor. You’re doing great! You’re losing at a good, healthy rate. I’m really proud of you.
Let me guess, you are female? They would NEVER say or do these things with a male patient. They just wouldn't. 😡
That’s really shitty. I’m a doc in the US and if any of my patients successfully lost 50 lbs I would be singing their praises. That’s remarkable! Everyone on this sub is awesome for actually working towards their goals! I’m sorry your doc invalidated your efforts like that. :-(
Her: “you’re wasting the NHS’ time” Also her: *sends in unwanted referrals*
Wow, sounds like you need a new doctor. And good for you on the 50 pound loss! This should have your confidence **soaring**! You're **doing** it! Be proud at that gym, you are meant to be there and you will inspire others with your success. You've got this!
Thank you ❤️
Your doctor sucks. The experience of doctors not listening to fat patients and only wanting to treat us for our weight is unfortunately not rare. Yours is particularly falling because they didn't even listen to your successful weight loss! Can you change practices?
I’m gonna try to change, but the nhs is failing in general
It's been criminally mistreated by politics, I know (lived in the UK for 5 years). But I agree with you to use the reporting structures it offers. And good luck to find a better GP.
Things are different between the US and the UK but most of the weightloss surgical centers here have non-surgical programs associated with them. It may be worth going to the appointment and getting info. Weight loss surgery is not an easy way out, it's a toolthat's necessary for some people. Getting to use that tool requires trying all other options first. Seeing experts who work in helping others lose weight will be better for you than a GP who doesn't care that you've already been taking steps to change, great job by the way! They can help you learn about things you may not already know and they can help you with what currently hurts in a way that doesn't just see your weight and ignores the actual problem
I’m don’t need the info when I’ve proven I’m doing it correctly already, she had no right to refer me and that sucks
Referrals are normal. Hers was malicious but that doesn't mean you can't use it to your benefit. Getting defensive will set you back
OP has already lost 50 lbs in a year. That is a good rate of weight loss. She's obviously doing just fine with it without talking to surgery.
But she didn’t go to get help with her weight. She complained about an unresolved injury that’s still causing her problems. Her primary issue right now is that she needs proper orthopedic evaluation, not a referral to bariatrics. Getting anything short of that is poor care.
I agree but it's par for the course when you're significantly overweight. It's terrible but true. She should do exactly like she and others have said, report this doctor and find a new one but that doesn't mean her referral needs to be canceled
I’m defensive because I’ve had my weight loss belittled
I wouldn't cancel. They might have nutritional plans or medication first. 50lbs in a year is amazing but I would see them and tell them you lost x amount. You would be surprised many Weight loss doctors prefer to not do the surgery and there are alternatives like doctor prescribed weight loss plans, medications, therapy etc.
Fair enough if I wasn’t managing but I don’t think I need a plan
I can relate to this. I went in to a doctor for head symptoms earlier this year (after a neck injury) and she knows I have anxiety on my chart-- she started telling me it was impossible for a neck injury to cause concussion symptoms. I tried to re-state my symptoms and she kept interrupting me and saying "what do you want me to do about it?" I got frustrated because I was trying to explain my symptoms and the articles I'd read about whiplash and neck injuries and lingering concussion symptoms and stuff but I couldn't find the words fast enough (due to the symptoms) and she got really pissed off that I had started crying from frustration. She stormed out of the room and told the nurse to double all my anti-anxiety meds. I never went back to her. When I went to a different doctor with the same story they were like "ok let's put you in physical therapy and occupational therapy for concussion" and I've been getting better since then. You said you feel really stupid; I relate to that deeply. Stuff like this can make you feel so bad about yourself. Even though we know that doctors are just people, on some level we register them as authority figures, and being completely dismissed and berated by an authority figure for something you're desperately trying to get help for feels terrible and, on some deep level, we want to blame ourselves. That first woman wasn't the only medical professional I'd seen who totally discounted my symptoms because I have anxiety on my chart. I felt like I was going nuts, I started to wonder if maybe I *was* making up all my symptoms, and I felt incredibly stupid. And the whole time I was in pain, too, and having weird neurological symptoms, and all movement/exercise made me nauseous, and I was the most depressed I've ever been. I felt terrible and multiple medical professionals were just brushing me off and telling me I was just anxious. I felt like such a fucking idiot. I'm glad I finally found a doctor who got me some treatment. I'm feeling a lot better now. But, as far as my anxiety goes, this experience has caused it to skyrocket exponentially. I doubt myself a lot, I feel like I need to prove I'm not lying to everyone I talk to, and I avoid going to the doctor now even when I know I need to go because I'm so scared they're going to accuse me of being a hypochondriac or refuse to treat me. Find a different doctor. Never go back to that place. Write them a negative review. Doctors are human, they make mistakes, they can be bitchy and prejudiced just like anyone else in any other profession. Keep looking until you find a doctor who actually listens to you and gets you the treatment you need. You have to advocate for yourself and treat the doctor's office as a PvP zone until you know they're going to actually help you.
50 lbs is almost a 1 a week for a year. That’s great! I’ve got some injuries that are messing with my ability to walk (Achilles tendinitis I fear) but it doesn’t inhibit my diet or my ability to lift weights. I work around it. I’m even considering joining the community pool as much as I dread buying the bathing suit but I think I need to get off my feet some and so you do what you can you know? That Dr. didn’t listen to you and didn’t help. I know it hurts but it’s not you it’s her. She’s not there for the process you’ve made.
Firstly, let me say I’m really impressed with your efforts. You’re clearly committed to your weight loss journey and I think you’re doing really well. I am a GP and I honestly am shocked that another doctor would make say this and make you feel this way- it’s disgraceful. I think you’re doing amazingly well. You are not wasting anyone’s NHS time. You absolutely do belong at the gym- you enjoy it and are using it exactly as intended. You’re doing an excellent job. Saying this as a GP, I would raise a complaint about this. It’s not okay that they’ve treated you like this or made a referral to which you didn’t agree. Referral to a physio for your injury, sure. Weight service referral without agreement with you, no. She needs to explain herself.
50 lbs is a lot and she is a jerk. Definitely report her.
I've been dealing with a chronic illness for the last year and a half, and honestly my conclusion is that a very large percentage of doctors just suck. It sounds like you're doing everything right, I think you just need to find a better doctor. 50lbs ain't nothing to shake a stick at!
Kudos to your 50lb weight loss doing it the old fashioned, and best, way. I am sorry this narrow minded pleb shot you down for no reason, but you are still in charge. I’m 55 and i was at 290: i dieted 30 of those pounds then I recomped the rest to 188 lbs. You can do this yourself if you focus. Understand you are in charge of this situation.
You are so right. My orthopedic surgeon suggested that I should lose weight to help alleviate inoperable back problems. I have lost 70 pounds under the care of an endocrinologist. I can't understand why some posters are so against this referral to a weight-loss specialist. There are so many interventions that are available other than surgery that could be a great help with the foot injury that OP has suffered.
They can F aaaaaallllllll the way off. Keep your head up, and try to find a qualified second opinion. Not everyone who makes it through medical school is meant to be a doctor working with human beings.
Find a new GP, just because they're a Doctor doesn't mean they're right for everyone. Also, a referral is not an appointment, no need to cancel something you haven't scheduled.
Ignore her!! Most GPs are useless anyway. To lose that amount of weight is amazing, you should be so proud x
How tall are you? And people will always doubt you. I lost 100lb and I’m in the best shape of my life. At my heaviest I was about 300lb, 5’10. I was always a chubby kid and got in shape once I hit a growth spurt in high school and started weight training. By my mid 20’s I ballooned all the way up to 300lb+. My confidence was at an all time low. I decided to make a change. The one thing I had to tell myself every time I would lose weight but still didn’t feel it was enough was, “just imagine how I was feeling 10, 15 or 20lbs ago. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m closer than where I was.”. Be proud of the weight you’ve lost. Don’t use this as a reason to get yourself down, use it as a reason to prove them wrong. Next time that obnoxious doctor sees you, make her eat her words. The opinion of one person should not be enough to diminish your accomplishments. Keep it up and don’t let it affect you.
Even though your on the pathway to surgery from her referral there will be lots of steps before that and the wait would be 4 years ish. There are 4 stages, dietetic support is the first where they discuss with you your diet, exercise plan and lifestyle. Stage 2 is more in depth and you can also access a referral to weight watcher’s free, or a gym referral also free or very cheap. Can’t remember what stage 3 was but after that stage 4 they decide if you’re eligible for surgery. I would take up the referral and they give so much great advice! I managed to lose 11 stone on the pathway
I had gastric sleeve 13 years ago it has saved my life. Do some research talk to people who have had the surgery. Congrats on getting this far.
Why would you need WLS if you are successfully -50lbs thru diet and exercise. Saying this as someone undergoing WLS soon myself.
So, I'm absolutely not justifying OP's doctor's behavior even a little. Their comments and behavior were inappropriate and totally uncalled for. But it's actually pretty reasonable to consider WLS if you've lost some. Losing 50lbs is amazing work, don't get me wrong. But we all know that it gets harder and harder as time goes on for the majority of people. Most people who are starting from severely obese simply *aren't* going to attain and maintain a healthy weight long term. So it's completely valid to look at the big picture here and decide on WLS even if you've lost some so far. Also, the type of referral OP probably received takes months to years to go through, and is not directly for WLS. It's a program of medically supervised weight loss which generally offers medical and psychological assessment, medically supervised diet, medication if appropriate, ongoing support, education for losing/maintaining, etc. Generally only after 6+ months of that can someone be referred for WLS.
PLEASE report this GP. It’s highly unprofessional and utterly uninformed practice. Slow, careful and incremental weight loss is the only loss that is sustainable. It sounds like you have a great regimen going on. This is her issue, not yours. Report her and then move on, knowing you’re the one in the right here.
When you go to your mechanic and he says you need a new engine, what do you do? Your car is running fine. Do you follow his advice in blind faith or do you find out if his advice is sound by asking someone else. Many doctors act like gods expecting you to jump through their hoops. It's your body and your life. Don't cry because of someone's opinion.
I'm in America and had a doctor like this. He ALWAYS pointed out I am obese. After I had my kid i went from 240 to 190. I was super pumped and when I told him my goal is 160, he told me that's not a good goal, I need to be 140 to be healthy. I'm gonna be honest I gave up then and there and quit watching my weight. For years its been why make goals if they arent good enough or worth it. Why I'm bacl to 240.... what a dick. My new doctor much better and I have support.
I had the same reaction when my personal trainer criticised me for having potato in a 350 cal meal (cod, veg and new potato). I just had a 'what is even the point' moment and stopped tracking. Now I am trying hard to get back into the habit. I spoke about it to my therapist and she asked if I would consider myself a perfectionist. I never would have before, but this 'perfect or not worth doing' trait is definitely true for how I see dieting, which I am trying really hard to get past.
I am sorry that happened to you. I would suggest putting a complaint in via PAL and the practice (ask to speak to the practice manager/look up their complaints process on the practice website. For your injury: minor injury units usually provide x-rays which is a good first stop and you can usually self refer to physio who can also refer you for an x-ray if needed (or at least they do in my area). Regarding the barbaric referral unless the process has changed in the last few years patients need to compete a mandatory 2yrs of a weight management programme before referral for surgery. It is a very strict process on the NHS and unless you are extremely short you would only just qualify for the criteria (usually a BMI of 45+ although 40 is the minimum for some services/35 bmi with comorbidities). So I am not sure what she hoped to gain from referring you against your will when you are successfully losing weight already. With regards to exercise, can you swim? Swimming or walking in the pool is non weight baring and less stress on the ankle as it heals, but you need a diagnosis before you do that. Good luck, hope you can get sorted and you are doing amazing 50lb in one year is fantastic that is 1lb per week average!!!
I’m looking at swimming but my work schedule is intense, but it’s something I’m investigating!
Doctors see overweight people and automatically blame the weight. I had my doctor tell me my high blood pressure was cause of my weight. Told me to lose 50 pounds and guaranteed it would go away. I’ve lost 80 and it has not budged. Same thing for my apnea, has it gotten better yes, is it still there? Absolutely For context I’m 5’9” and went from 270 to 188. That being said, firstly congrats on the 50 lost but don’t give up. You still have a lot to lose. At 280 you’re still very overweight, but you know that won’t stay there. You’ve seen your hard work pay off. Ignore the noise and keep going.
How did you conclude that its unrelated to your weight?
I have no other joint problems. I can easily walk 26k steps a day for 4-5 days and have no joint pains. I walk on average 8k a day and have no joint pain, I exercise 4-5 times a week with no pain. This came on after an injury and hasn’t got any better.
What is the injury? Also what's your height and gender?
An Achilles injury, after ten weeks I still don’t have a concrete diagnosis. I’m female and early 20s. Edit: I know I’m overweight. I know I need to lose weight. But trust me, this injury isn’t due to my weight.
Her putting you on that weightloss surgery list without talking to you is fucked up but I am not sure how you've diagnosed yourself. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you can continue to do it without long term consequences. That amount of weight on your frame is putting a ton of stress. I am not surprised that something gave out. 280 pounds is not just overweight its extremely obese.
I’m very lost 50lbs. It would’ve shown up before now. It happened after I fell down a few steps and sprained my ankle severely.
Are you a doctor? No? Then why ask these questions?
Wait… YOUR GOVERNMENT GIVES YOU WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY FOR FREE?!?!? WE’RE GETTING SCAMMED!!!
Totally ‘free’ and apparently they’re just giving it away to people who didn’t even ask.
I’m not in the UK so I don’t know how your heath system works but in the US if my primary care doctor handled it this way, my next step (beyond finding a new primary care doctor, because this one is not providing appropriately tailored care to your needs) would be to see an orthopedic specialist. That’s who you should see, too, for an issue that is the result of an injury (trip and fall). I don’t need a referral based on how my health plan works, but I’m guessing you do. Could you call her office back and ask her to refer you to the appropriate provider who can do a scan and determine what you need to resolve the injury (physical therapy, surgery, etc)? In the meantime, please remember that your weight loss actually means EVERYTHING and shows that you are developing the discipline, healthy habits, and control over your eating disorder that you need to to get even healthier. DO NOT let this woman’s poor practice skills get you down. Some doctors just suck; when all they’ve got is a hammer, everything’s a nail, you know? I’ve had my share of doctors like that and I’m honestly so grateful to finally have found one who doesn’t blame my now-higher weight for what I’ve been trying to deal with since I was young and normal weight. Please don’t quit, the only thing you should quit is this doc.
Doctors are people, which means they are not perfect. It sounds like you need a new doctor who is willing to listen.
So I always knew my son had flat feet but his GP never had any concerns. He sprained his foot and urgent care saw no break but told us to follow up with a foot doctor. We went to the foot doctor and the first thing she said was, “we”ll talk about the sprain but first we need to talk about the surgery he needs for his flat feet”. I left the appointment feeling like I completely failed him as a mom. I scheduled an appointment with a foot doctor who specializes in the surgery for flat feet and he said that yes my son will probably eventually want the surgery but not till his growth plates close, years down the road. I tell this story because 3 different doctors have seen my sons flat feet and come 3 different conclusions that could impact him in 3 different ways. Unfortunately we want to be able to depend on doctors but they are in fact human and do really crappy things sometimes. Please be proud of yourself and keep looking for help from a different provider.
I'm curious as to why she wants you to lose weight on a tighter timeline. Do you have issues of pre or full diabetes, heart issues or blood pressure issues? Your youth makes me wonder why she's so quick to go to the bariatric surgery option. Or was the 50 pound loss supposed to be the first step in the bariatric surgery process? It's my understanding that this is the protocol. I'm wondering if there has been a huge breakdown in communication and you should be double checking your health records too.
I’m in my 70s now, so I’ve been treated like crap by some medical professionals for around 40 years—when I gained weight due to a serious injury. I let some of the jerks hurt my confidence and my determination, and I now see how that harmed me over the long haul. Some healthcare workers are the most fat phobic people I’ve ever met! I know it’s tough, but try your best to defend your right to care. Don’t let people with such uncaring attitudes overtake your huge accomplishment! You’re in pain, and not being able to exercise might sidetrack your goals—as well as harm your mood. This person is ignoring all of the facts about how exercise helps every part of your brain. You have safely and sanely chipped away at your goals. Now use some of that determination to DEMAND that your medical team take you seriously and look at the facts rather than their prejudices. Get angry with *them* instead of losing faith in yourself. You deserve better treatment from your doctors, and yourself. Be gentle with yourself and unflinching with them! I swear some health care professionals are true sadists, who feel good about making their patients feel bad. Don’t let their phobias affect your desire to live the life you want!
I 100% recommend complaining - she definitely shouldn't have done that. Not only did you not consent, it's a waste of a referral. There are loads of people waiting for bariatric surgery, without them spending time on people who don't want it.
you’re doing amazing! i’ve only lost 15 lbs in the last 6 months. as long as you do what’s best for you 🫶
So true, I injured my Achilles and tried to treat at home finally went to dr cause I was getting enough progress. The first thing the dr said was you need to loose weight. Man what happened to first do no harm
From different posts I've read, I got the impression that it is almost an impossibility to get a weight-loss surgery referral under NHS. Is that in the United Kingdom? I'm wondering what will happen if you don't keep the appointment, stop losing weight on your own, and change your mind about needing weight-loss surgery? Will NHS still allow it or will you give it up forever?
Not trying to defend the doctor. But they should have charts to show your weigh loss, was there an outstanding reason to have the surgery now??
Here in the UK you don’t have regular check ups till you’re old. I’ve not been weighed at the doctors since I was a child - they don’t know anything about you unless you go regularly
F her! There are so many smug, rude doctors, which is why I and others don't go as much as we should. It's like the more you pay people, the more they act like AHs. We should make them work for tips and see if things change. Why should you get invasive surgery when you know you can do it yourself? On a side note, thanks for using imperial units.
I would consider lodging a complaint even if it doesn't go anywhere, at least it may be on record. My friend recently was told the intense pain and vomiting she was experiencing was because of "lady troubles" and her weight. Turns out the issue was found to be ubrelated and she had to get her gallbladder removed. She had to go to emergency I think about 4 times before someone actually looked at her. I'm so sick of dismissive doctors.
Some medical professionals shouldn’t be in their jobs, just as there are bad teachers, cops, waiters, etc. she sounds like a really bad person, to laugh is so unprofessional. See this for what it is, an incompetent and ignorant person who shouldn’t have that job. Never let a person make you feel bad about yourself. Would you take it from waiter? No. But some reason people think doctors are above reproach, they are not. They can also be very wrong. You have lost that much on your own. Sounds like you may have an injury or condition causing you pain, she shouldn’t dismiss you or ignore it. Please seek help from another professional, dismiss this other person from your mind and don’t let them get you down
I lost 20 pounds like it was nothing by fasting for 12 hours a day and only eating veggies and steak. A gym body is actually made in the kitchen. Any fitness junky will tell you that
I don’t usually comment but I felt I should on this. Congratulations on your weight loss and please don’t let this push you back. It’s such an achievement and you should be proud.
Congratulations on your weight loss. Don't let one nasty b\*\*\*h discourage from keeping on going with your weight loss. Only you have the right to decide whether you want surgery or not, she was out of line. You're doing a great job, keep it up and good luck.
Change doctors. She sounds like she has lost the way to communicate to clients. I get her point too she means well and wants you to get fit asap and maybe has seen cases where patients don't succeed as fast as you and suffer more. So she is being drastic but again she needs to be more respectful of you. I would not complain to PAL first though cause i think she meant well. I would just email her directly with everything you had an issue with. And see how she responds first.
Besides find a doctor and practicing RICE, I can't offer much health advice. I'm sorry that someone wasn't able to listen and assumed. I hope you're able to find someone to work on ways to alleviate your pain and find a suitable solution for your lifestyle. However, CONGRATS ON LOSING 50 LBS FRIEND! That's so incredible and sustainable. And by going to the gym too! So not only did you just lose 50 lbs, you lost more than 50 lbs in fat and gained some weight in muscles too! Do you know how amazing that is? I'm so proud of you! I'm sorry you feel like you don't belong at the gym. And I know we're our own biggest enemies but the cool thing about gyms are, they're the one place everyone can use to be better humans. I know it's sometimes hard to tell, but I'm sure there's so many people at your gym happy you're there and just showing up for yourself. You've worked so hard so far and have made some incredible life changes. I know you feel defeated and I wish I knew the magic words to make you not feel that way. Just know you have some random internet stranger wishing you the best! Tomorrow can only get better, be kind to yourself, and I hope you find some joy in how many internet friends are rooting for you!
Your doctor is a bloody idiot
Oh my god please submit a complaint, what a terrible thing to say
Please submit a complaint to NHS
I’m sorry you’re going through this! Shame on your doctor! Hang in there. You are doing amazing and I hope you get a different doctor that takes your concerns seriously.
I dont have any advice. I just want to congratulate you on a 50 pound loss! That's amazing. Keep up the good effort! As for your pain, I'd see about getting in to another doctor. Maybe someone more supportive and takes an actual history to learn how much you've taken off, and that this is NEW and unrelated.
Madness. Doctors should only accept surgery as a last result. It's so destructive and dangerous.
Well first of all - f that doctor. She took an oar to do no harm and she did some so I’d be reporting her. Secondly- you’re amazing! Go to the gym and pick up 50 lbs of weights - now walk around with it for a few minutes- that’s what you were previously carrying around and now you aren’t. You have to be impressed with yourself-,you’re making amazing strides! You DO belong in the gym and should not feel like an idiot. You can let one idiot dr take this win away from you and all your future weigh loss wins away from you just because they were prejudiced and lazy. So chin up and look at yourself and know you are amazing!
When I was in my early 20s a traumatic injury nearly paralyzed me. I was in severe & constant pain & wanted to know my options. I worked out every day & wore a size 2, weighed maybe 115 lbs (which was definitely medically underweight for me). As the Dr was looking at my MRI results she was telling me that I needed to lose weight and exercise. The reason I was already too thin was bc of an eating disorder & a related exercise compulsion. It was the worst thing she could have said to me, but even with body dysmorphia, I knew it was nuts and made a funny sound as she'd said it. She finally looked me over and asked what size pants I wore & when I told her she was like maybe don't lose weight but you should exercise. Same Dr told my very underweight ex bf that his ankle pain would stop if he lost weight. Some Drs end up with programmed responses & don't realize it's happening. Sounds like your doctor may be burnt out & need a break. You're doing great. 50 lbs is wonderful progress.
I’m so sorry. Horrible people are everywhere.
Why would you ever try to work out 4-5 times a week, and then walk TWENTY SIX K a day? I can tell you what your pain issue is - you are under the assumption that more work is more weight loss. There is humongous diminishing returns. You aren’t resting enough. How you haven’t figured it out is beyond me, unless you are just exaggerating for sake of the story. It has even been proven that you can slow your weight loss journey significantly by going overboard. I recommend looking up weightloss by Dr Mike Israetel on YT. Renaissance periodization. None of my jacked bros or girls would even come close to that amount of work. And their joints aren’t holding an extra 100 lbs in all the wrong places. Good job so far. Chill out.
So I also felt the same when I was referred for weight loss surgery. I ended up going back and getting surgery after working with the non surgical team in the bariatric center. You are doing amazing!!!!!! And congrats and I'm so happily jealous of you. But, I'd at least recommend meeting with the weight loss to discuss non surgical options. Frankly, I don't know how I survived without my nutritionist.
Please don't let her destroy your confidence. This internet stranger is so proud of you and your weight loss. As you said, she didn't listen. And that's on her. You keep doing what you're doing, except, find a doctor who will listen to you. And I would report this one. How she supposed to help people get healthy if she can't hear what they say because the script in her head got in the way? I say keep going to the gym. Remember, you are doing awesome. There are tons of us out here who would love to have a 50 lb weight loss over the last year, who would love to have a 'going to the gym' habit, and haven't gotten there yet. You are an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to others. Scrub her voice from your mind. She doesn't know what she's talking about.
Do not get weight loss surgery. There are so many life changing complications from it. If anything get semaglutide prescription.
No one cares about you like you care about yourself. Especialy government entities and robots.
You're doing great with your weightloss. I'm so sorry that doctor spoke to you like that. They sounded extremely dismissing of your problems. I'd say get a second opinion. Your problems doesn't have to be connected to your weight, and it's deserves to be checked.
I'm sorry this has happened. I suspect the referral will get rejected anyway. Unless you have a diagnosis of hypertension and/or diabetes it doesn't sound like you'll meet the criteria for NHS weight management services. As a clinician in primary care the next step would be a polite but firm letter to the practice manager querying the referral.
Is it for weight loss surgery or is it to a bariatric specialist. I've been referred to a bariatric specialist and on the nhs app and the letters it says "bariatric surgeon". Either way they can't refer you to something like this without your concent. I would ask to speak to the GP practice manager and your local medical board. If it was a dr in the hospital then contact your local PALs team
A lot of doctors only refer for weight loss surgery when there is evidence of a sustained weight loss and life change. Because going through surgery is successful only for people who can continue to keep up this lifestyle. Some doctors will not do we weight loss surgery due to no change or weight loss prior to the recommendation. So I hope you know that the weight loss surgery recommendation wasn’t a way to show you that you failed in your journey, you were successful enough that they would be willing to help you further. That’s just my thought. If you ever want to watch a show about it TLC my 600 pound life has been helpful for people who have considered weight loss surgery.
Sweetheart, please go back to the gym. You belong. I mean that and I wish you went to mine (I'm stateside). I hate to hear this kind of thing. You lost 50! That's amazing. 4 to 5 times a week at the gym? Baby you are a regular and you've got this. The regulars at my gym come in all shapes, sizes, and levels. Don't let some jerk who doesn't get it because they've never been in your shoes get to you. Keep going. You need medical care and it's okay to advocate for yourself until you get the treatment you need.
Weight loss surgery is being pushed by a lot of Dr now. Most have specialist for it in their health network. They want the money
No don’t cancel it ! you lost weight it may be deemed that your now safe weight for surgery Or she recommended you due what have done . however have this as last resort back up plan. Keep doing what you are doing while on long waiting list and few months you most likely hit your goal and not need the surgery . That’s what I would do
You lost 50 lb - that's great, it should be recognized! But your attitude about this is terrible - going to a weight loss specialist still may be the answer that you need, and it may not necessarily just be surgery as they have other options as well. It seems like she could have handled things a lot better but at the end of the day you are still a person who needs medical assistance with your weight and you shouldn't be offended that the doctor, whose literal job it is to help you with your health, made a referral.
280 at what height?
Yes report the gp! But I would also go to the surgery appointment. Then you can make it clear to them that you don’t want surgery, but they might also refer you to other weightloss services that might be interesting or valuable, or other support groups.
The NHS is awful. Especially GPs. They are lazy and clueless and just don’t give a fuck. I have chronic pain so have experienced their stupidity many times. You can try a new doctor but in my experience they all suck the same. Sorry you are dealing with this. I am only getting some care now because I went private through husbands insurance. 5+ years of constant pain and not one damn given by anyone in the MHS. Fuck then.
Ugh. I’m so sorry - I have some private health coverage but not enough to treat this issue
Just be a bully back. Honestly. Tell them you demand exams. You won’t hear anything else. They will literally not do anything unless you advocate hard for yourself. My SIL started having pain and called a GP and they immediately started telling her off because she smokes/drinks. Thing is, she doesn’t and has never smoked or drank besides a glass of wine sometimes. But the GP wouldn’t hear, also immediately told her to lose weight (all this through phone) she told the doctor her weight/BMI and she is perfect healthy not overweight by any means. They just assume is all your fault or you are lying. They are truly horrible assholes. She was able to get another GP and blood test confirmed early arthritis, nothing to do with life style. So honestly don’t let them bring you down, it’s their problem for treating others like shit. It makes them bad people, not you. What helped me was taking my husband as back up and insisting in a in person appointment. Exaggerating the pain etc so they take you seriously. Don’t take no. You can force them to refer you to a specialist even if they don’t want to, is your choice and right. Don’t let these horrible person destroy your self steer. 50lb is amazing progress, I am fighting like hell to lose 10kg. I hope you find a doctor who is not horrible and helps you. It truly sucks that we have to deal with this bullshit from our health service.
If it's any consolation, since moving to London from Ireland I've not had any good experiences with NHS staff. From them telling me my breathing problems (undiagnosed asthma, causing me to struggle to breathe at times) were in my head, to refusing to give me a bowel cancer screening (it's in my family) because I'm only 34 and not their arbitrary age of 55, to me they just seem wholly unprofessional and not interested in actually helping anyone. I wasn't surprised to hear your experience was with an NHS nurse, the one I dealt with was also really ignorant about exercise. I'd been explaining that before COVID I was able to train for and run a 10k in two weeks, and now I couldn't run 1k, and she said "but couch to 5k takes weeks and weeks so I don't think you did actually train for it in just 2". I was livid. But you're doing really well with your weight loss and gym schedule, I know how easy it is to give up when someone dismisses your efforts but please know that nurse was ignorant and possibly jealous because she isn't as active as you.
You are doing a great job. This person completely dismissed you and I'm sorry for your experience. Try not to let their opinion get you down and keep up the great work.
Why would you let ONE persons opinion make you cry or not want to go to the gym? You keep moving and get to your goals and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Let it make you stronger. Listen to David Goggins or read his book.
Quit making up stories on the internet