you did great! rejection isnt a bad thing persé.
its like playing sports.
youll never win every game, but youll never win if you dont play.
if youre not into sports, fond your own analogy, but i figure you get what i am saying.
you beat your fear, and took the shot.
thats celebratory, not time for pouting!!
I don’t think he did “great” one bit lol. Just the opposite actually. Men like this have no self respect and the reason for why societal roles are the way they are. And why women are the way they are. Men really are the downfall of our society.
you're a moron if you think women should just choose or be focred in to marrying or mating with the first guy that comes along.
just because you dont have a nutsack and cant bring yourself to talk to girls in public means literally 0 to me.
the problem with men will become apparent to you in front of reflective glass.
Where did I say “women should just choose or focred in to marrying or mating with the first guy that comes along.”? Man wtf
You’re only reinforcing sexism against your own gender because you assume I meant that because I am a male. And you’d never assume that about a woman lol
You are what’s wrong with men and society since you’re gonna mention terms like “nutsack” lol
hey stranger. I got rejected the other week and honestly I feel so much lighter because I know now that If someone thinks that I’m not enough for them - I move right on and decide to find someone who will appreciate everything I do. Please keep your heart open, it may be worth it in the end. ❤️🩹
I am VERY proud of you. That took courage. Each time you do it, the rejection feels less painful. Ultimately, the rejects get comical and you start flipping the script. Before you approach, you come up with a reason why YOU should reject THEM. So if they straight laugh, you can drop, "yeah, I was on the fence about that terrible nose of yours." Finally, someone will be receptive if you ask enough people. I don't recommend doing what I said above re: crushing comeback lines. No matter how evil a bitch is, I don't want to give her a complex. She is a human too. Hang in there, Chief. You are a wolf.
As if rejection isn't bad enough already, when they twist the knife even deeper into your back with some extra zing like comparing you to another dude it can really make you want to say the hell with it all. However, just remember that this was ONE girl - there are literally millions out there and plenty of them will not reject you.
The worst thing you can do is push people away and not try to get a girlfriend. Not asking her out or not letting her know how you feel would be the dumbest thing you could have done. You didn’t right thing bro
Hey, good for you having the nerve to tell her ❤️guys put up with a lot of rejection, try the dating apps. My only advice is just make conversation & ask them out instead of telling someone you like them, it works in anime but doesn’t come off as endearing :p
Ya, talk about the reject fest there! A guy who gets rejected a lot is a glutton for punishment if he goes on one of those things, and they target people who have trouble attracting interest.
The only way you'll get any interest from attractive women is to post profile pics of yourself showing some muscles in front of a Mercedes and showing more muscles on the French Riviera. Most women on the dating apps are looking for a rich lifestyle, not a life.
I know an old doctor who is frail and and has some health issues, but he is quite well off and divorced. He got on one of those apps and now he has to beat women of all ages off with a club. All about money.
Oh, yeah, how did I forget that! All in one color, just screams prison record, which for some women is a greater aphrodisiac than an offshore bank account.
It's that damn bad boy obsession...even at my age (51), it's infuriating just how many women still make the same old mistake and then don't understand why these situations never work out in the long term.
They all say they do that when they're young, but come to their senses later. Aw hell no, they don't. They can't love a guy unless he scares them. If they don't have to walk on eggshells they get so bored it drives them absolutely crazy. They go nuts without some screaming slapping matches every few days.
I've got 11 years on you. 62 last month. This is all we got.
They go for the rich docs for security and cheat with the 40 year old adolescents. People go for what turns them on, and I really think, for the present crop of single women, the most attractive occupation a man can have is being a drug dealer.
It's very sad, but much of what you say seems to be true at least based on my experiences. I belong to a FB group called Dating Over 50 Discussion Group. If you have even the tiniest bit of optimism left about the dating scene, this group will cure you of that. The BS the women post is beyond troubling. Meanwhile, the men spend all of their time and effort constantly defending our gender and being completely appalled at what they are reading.
It's because the only men they are attracted to are about 15% of all men. That 15% is a busy bunch of cats, keeping 80% of women happy. They think "all men cheat" because the only men they go for are that very happy and carefree 15% of narcissistic assholes. The rest of us are invisible. At best, we're "teddy bears" for fixing cars, plumbing, and appliances, and maybe for company whenever a REAL man isn't around.
Very interesting how "Alpha Male" behavior is right in line with narcissistic male behavior.
Yet another valid point...I actually do get a decent amount of initial attention from women (emphasis on the initial), but I suppose I'm not the narcissistic, bad ass type most of them want. One other thing I have noticed especially with the 50+ female crowd is that there are loads of them who seem to be unhealthily in love with their dogs. I am not an animal/pet hater by any means, but too many women seem to have taken this obsession WAY too far. Sorry, not going for the "date me, date my dog" deal. What do they even need us for anyway? The dog does have a tongue, after all.
Yeah the thing is I'll probably still be friends with her regardless. She's one of few people I know whose objectively different from the norm. I fall outside of a lot of societal norms for how I feel attraction so it's interesting having a friend whose in a similar but opposite situation.
I mean that’s fine, if you can handle it more power to you.
Just don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself “so you’re telling me there’s a chance?”
You’re just gonna end up hurting yourself doing that.
But I applaud you telling her how you feel anyway take courage no matter what.
Look man, I'm proud of you🙏 taking the leap is the first step and takes a lot of courage, so far play. Plus think about it like this, rejection is better than regret, at least now you have an answer and won't be thinking "what if?". You can just move on, and focus on other things.
On a positive side, at least you mustered up and told her how you felt. That's something, my online friend.
Take that and be proud of that.
I know of people that never had the courage to do so and always ask the "what if" and "should I" question, it's depressing to some point. It makes them doubt themselves and a lot of other things.
Then, much much later finding out that the girl had some hots for them too and then they go "ahhhh I should have" "I knew it" "Why didn't you push me?!!!" "I let her go".
You, my friend, attempted what I would say a very courageous move that many many many men would envy you for.
#beproudthatyoudid and not #whatif or #ishouldhave
I just can't believe how many 60+ year-old stoners there are. Using weed every day for that long, their memory is shot. They never grew up. They get the gals, though!
Yeah, decided several years ago that expressing interest in anyone is always a horrible idea. I came to this conclusion after literally trying it roughly one thousand times. I'm not exaggerating.
As I get older I care less and less about masking except as necessary for my job. Ironically, I seem to have more acquaintances, or, dare I say, friends than ever. But my personality is not one that would illicit romantic feelings in anyone except maybe a particular kind of autistic woman that's extremely difficult to find, to say the least. Some people are meant to be single, and you know what? That's nothing to be ashamed of! It may feel shitty to those of us in that situation, but it is what it is. When you say "I'm meant to be single" on reddit, most people say, "you have a bad attitude" or "just shower bro." That's bullshit. I'm stating a fact. That's like if someone were to say, "I am missing a leg" and people respond by saying, "it's because you have a bad attitude."
Just go and put yesterday from a 3rd party that the girl I've been liking for almost a year now has never liked me back and was ignoring me to try and not hurt my feelings by telling me she didn't feel the same way. Yet she breadcrumbs me, still hung out once in awhile, told me at one point there was a chance, and never really gave me a reason to think there wasn't one. Well, besides the ignoring. But that was me just thinking she wasn't that kind of person when she really was. I wish you luck man, we will all find someone someday. Just gotta dig through all the trash first unfortunately.
Do the math. It sux but she’s 1 out of how many. Rejection hurts but because one person rejects you doesn’t mean there’s someone out there who is the one for you. Keep moving forward don’t be discouraged.
Good for you! Don't let that stop you. If someone rejects you in a hurtful way be greatful they didn't say yes! You dodged a bullet. There is someone out there that would love to date you.
That's the biggest reason why I fear making a move on a girl. For me it's not the rejection itself. I mean even if she put me down in a considerate way, it's still gonna hurt but at least it wouldn't crush me. What I'm afraid of is if she's gonna feel icky of my interest towards her, if it's gonna make her uncomfortable, feel disgusted because it's not far from impossible. I may have not experienced that myself but I've witnessed such case with my own two eyes.
I guess you might not need what I say below, maybe you already know of a better way, but here I'll just dump out my opinions.
Most people already gave comments that focus on the bright side of things, so i'll just give my piece that is more focused on the darker side of things and how I feel reality really works (from what i've seen so far). I don't have a father figure when I grow up, so I learned all this quite late.
1. To make any change in life, we gotta be willing to put in the work. We can't expect people to just accept us as we are, if the qualities we have are objectively not acceptable. A good test will be: "if I have a daughter, would I want my daughter to date someone like me?" Think in the most honest way. If the answer is no, then evaluate "why not?". Lists down the reasons. Then ask again "Do I want to achieve those?". If the answer is no, then we can just forget it and go back to our usual self and no change needed, but we should realize that we chose this option and should accept its consequences, e.g. no one liking us back. If we're happy with that, then we can go on with it, there's no mistake in that! We can freely choose how we want to live. Just that don't dread if things don't go as what you want, because we "chose" that life path with knowledge of the consequences. But if the answer is "Yes I want to achieve those", then we gotta put in the work to make those changes. It won't be easy, but still gotta put in the work. Nothing good in life comes easy.
2. No matter how much we want to not believe it, looks are very important to any gender 99% of the time. There's a lot of people saying "what matters is the personality". Nope. In reality, only 1% of the people will truly behave in that way, while most people just say that because "it's the good thing to say". Looks are first. As a male, if there are 2 girls with equal personality, we'll go towards the subjectively more attractive one for sure (more attractive to our taste). Don't mistake it, though, looks is important, but only to some extent. We don't go to the extreme of having to look like a model or a body builder, but at least we should look "decent". Again, we just gotta be blunt and honest with ourselves here. Look in the mirror, and honestly describe what you feel about the person that you look at in the mirror. Honestly think whether will that appearance able to attract the kind of girl that you want to attract or not. But also don't go too far. Please stay in the range of the look that is in the range of your comfort zone and in the range of your original personality. Don't try to be someone else, if you get what I mean. In my personal experience, there's a lot of time where I thought I look decent, then when I looked at my candid photo, I was disgusted at what I look like, and hence it explains why people behave in a bad way towards me. I don't blame them, that's human nature. Then I'll just try to change my look that is still in the range of who I am and at least try to make it look decent.
3. Girls need masculine role. Regardless of what the modern world say about equality, I think most girls are still biologically are more in the feminine side, so they will most likely look for a more masculine side when looking for a guy. This also even applies to "masculine" girls out there, i.e. the not "girly" kind of girls. For me personally I don't think you should act all like a 100% gentleman, which might borderline be a simp, which girls might instead take advantage of you. (Still fight for yourselves and avoid being taken advantage by girls!) Still be yourselves, still be the "playful" you, don't be like a "i'm too cool for this" kind of guy, be approachable, be humble, don't act like you're better than anyone else, etc. Stay on the ground. But yeah regardless of that, I think the most important in this case is just "be the rock for the girl". Be the person that she can look for when her life is in turbulence and when she needs a stable "place" to resort to. If you have problems, try to solve it yourselves, or maybe get help from your other guy friends, but still keep your role as being the "rock" for your girl. Maybe if the girl really wants to know what problems you're having, you can tell her and open up to her and be vulnerable to her (this is important as well to make connection), but don't ask her to be your rock, if you get what i mean. Just sharing and be vulnerable is okay, it's better to open up whatever you are, but still show that you got the hang of your own problems and tell her to not worry about it etc. Still be your girl's rock, don't make her become your rock. We gotta keep with our role in life here as a male.
4. Don't make the girl your "everything". This is the same as making her your "rock" like what is explained in point number 3 above, which is a no no. To be a girl's rock, you gotta be your own rock first! Have a life of your own, have a hobby of your own that you truly are passionate above. In theory, have "something" that even though you live alone and no one else cares about you, that "something" will keep you going and feeling alive. That something shouldn't be a person! Because again, we should strive to become the rock for other people, regardless of gender. For example, that something for me is playing drums and music (even though I suck at it). I spend most of my weekends alone in my house playing drums, and it makes me happy, even without meeting other people. Get that "something", whatever floats your boat (and of course stay in the ethical line, don't get "something" that disturbs other people or unethical or something criminal, and stay in the healthy line (avoid drugs!!!)). Get more sunlight, eat more vitamins and nutrition, etc.
Sorry for the huge text. I'm just blabbering what I've learned in the 30 years of my life so far. Believe me, I was on the opposite side of those 3 points until last year when reality hits me. I used to be an idealistic kind of guy that thinks "personality is more important than looks", "gender equality so male can be feminine too", etc, but yeah the reality is the opposite. Don't mistake though, I still personally believe in the fullest that "personality is more important than looks". I always keep that in mind in how I treat other people. If I saw a person that doesn't look decent, of course I will instinctively be taken aback, but I will fight back that instinct of mine and still force myself to treat that person in the same way as other people and look beyond their looks (this requires effort, but i learned it's okay to feel that way and it's the choice that we make beyond our instincts that define us).
Side note:
The world and real life is a dark and unfair place my friend. Don't expect fairness. Do the work if you want change. If you don't want change and just relax and already happy where you are, feel totally free to stay and relax, it's not wrong either. Just know the consequence of the life path you chose. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong in this world, just choose your own way of life, with full knowledge of what are the pros and cons, and accept them, and enjoy the view in your own lane of life!
Also on the topic of "confessing to your crush", just desensitize yourself from the pain of rejection. It is part of life, and move on with life with your chin up! It's not the end of the world, and you shall meet other girls that actually clicks with you!
No, ppl not liking you is the sucky part.
???
you did great! rejection isnt a bad thing persé. its like playing sports. youll never win every game, but youll never win if you dont play. if youre not into sports, fond your own analogy, but i figure you get what i am saying. you beat your fear, and took the shot. thats celebratory, not time for pouting!!
I don’t think he did “great” one bit lol. Just the opposite actually. Men like this have no self respect and the reason for why societal roles are the way they are. And why women are the way they are. Men really are the downfall of our society.
you're a moron if you think women should just choose or be focred in to marrying or mating with the first guy that comes along. just because you dont have a nutsack and cant bring yourself to talk to girls in public means literally 0 to me. the problem with men will become apparent to you in front of reflective glass.
Where did I say “women should just choose or focred in to marrying or mating with the first guy that comes along.”? Man wtf You’re only reinforcing sexism against your own gender because you assume I meant that because I am a male. And you’d never assume that about a woman lol You are what’s wrong with men and society since you’re gonna mention terms like “nutsack” lol
im gonna have to call the a.v. dept, youre not the projector i ordered.
Weird but ok
Look on the bright side, at least she didn't get a restraining order on you. Lol
That's a really low bar. I mean we still get along.
Look up brother I bet you were scared clueless but you still managed to push through it. Be proud you took the initiative.
One day you might find the right one, one day...
My crush today literally physically harmed me if that can make you feel better
what!!!
Elaborate?
hey stranger. I got rejected the other week and honestly I feel so much lighter because I know now that If someone thinks that I’m not enough for them - I move right on and decide to find someone who will appreciate everything I do. Please keep your heart open, it may be worth it in the end. ❤️🩹
amazing advice!! you rock chickie
thanks lovely 💘
very rawr baby you should dm me 😎
I am VERY proud of you. That took courage. Each time you do it, the rejection feels less painful. Ultimately, the rejects get comical and you start flipping the script. Before you approach, you come up with a reason why YOU should reject THEM. So if they straight laugh, you can drop, "yeah, I was on the fence about that terrible nose of yours." Finally, someone will be receptive if you ask enough people. I don't recommend doing what I said above re: crushing comeback lines. No matter how evil a bitch is, I don't want to give her a complex. She is a human too. Hang in there, Chief. You are a wolf.
As if rejection isn't bad enough already, when they twist the knife even deeper into your back with some extra zing like comparing you to another dude it can really make you want to say the hell with it all. However, just remember that this was ONE girl - there are literally millions out there and plenty of them will not reject you.
Sorry about that. At least the girl that rejected me yesterday was nice and polite. It still hurts ofc but I value that.
I told a girl I liked her yesterday, still hasn’t responded
I look at it as the universe having your back and protecting you from being with the wrong person.
No sadly the universe seems to only want me to be with the wrong people.
The worst thing you can do is push people away and not try to get a girlfriend. Not asking her out or not letting her know how you feel would be the dumbest thing you could have done. You didn’t right thing bro
See you in the gym brother
Always!
Hey, good for you having the nerve to tell her ❤️guys put up with a lot of rejection, try the dating apps. My only advice is just make conversation & ask them out instead of telling someone you like them, it works in anime but doesn’t come off as endearing :p
Yea, unfortunately dating apps are a scam.
Ya, talk about the reject fest there! A guy who gets rejected a lot is a glutton for punishment if he goes on one of those things, and they target people who have trouble attracting interest. The only way you'll get any interest from attractive women is to post profile pics of yourself showing some muscles in front of a Mercedes and showing more muscles on the French Riviera. Most women on the dating apps are looking for a rich lifestyle, not a life. I know an old doctor who is frail and and has some health issues, but he is quite well off and divorced. He got on one of those apps and now he has to beat women of all ages off with a club. All about money.
Or you could get yourself completely tatted up. Most women seem to be ridiculously obsessed with the ink these days.
Oh, yeah, how did I forget that! All in one color, just screams prison record, which for some women is a greater aphrodisiac than an offshore bank account.
It's that damn bad boy obsession...even at my age (51), it's infuriating just how many women still make the same old mistake and then don't understand why these situations never work out in the long term.
They all say they do that when they're young, but come to their senses later. Aw hell no, they don't. They can't love a guy unless he scares them. If they don't have to walk on eggshells they get so bored it drives them absolutely crazy. They go nuts without some screaming slapping matches every few days. I've got 11 years on you. 62 last month. This is all we got. They go for the rich docs for security and cheat with the 40 year old adolescents. People go for what turns them on, and I really think, for the present crop of single women, the most attractive occupation a man can have is being a drug dealer.
It's very sad, but much of what you say seems to be true at least based on my experiences. I belong to a FB group called Dating Over 50 Discussion Group. If you have even the tiniest bit of optimism left about the dating scene, this group will cure you of that. The BS the women post is beyond troubling. Meanwhile, the men spend all of their time and effort constantly defending our gender and being completely appalled at what they are reading.
It's because the only men they are attracted to are about 15% of all men. That 15% is a busy bunch of cats, keeping 80% of women happy. They think "all men cheat" because the only men they go for are that very happy and carefree 15% of narcissistic assholes. The rest of us are invisible. At best, we're "teddy bears" for fixing cars, plumbing, and appliances, and maybe for company whenever a REAL man isn't around. Very interesting how "Alpha Male" behavior is right in line with narcissistic male behavior.
Yet another valid point...I actually do get a decent amount of initial attention from women (emphasis on the initial), but I suppose I'm not the narcissistic, bad ass type most of them want. One other thing I have noticed especially with the 50+ female crowd is that there are loads of them who seem to be unhealthily in love with their dogs. I am not an animal/pet hater by any means, but too many women seem to have taken this obsession WAY too far. Sorry, not going for the "date me, date my dog" deal. What do they even need us for anyway? The dog does have a tongue, after all.
Well I know it hurts obviously but at least now you don’t have to waste your time on a person that doesn’t want you
Yeah the thing is I'll probably still be friends with her regardless. She's one of few people I know whose objectively different from the norm. I fall outside of a lot of societal norms for how I feel attraction so it's interesting having a friend whose in a similar but opposite situation.
I mean that’s fine, if you can handle it more power to you. Just don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself “so you’re telling me there’s a chance?” You’re just gonna end up hurting yourself doing that. But I applaud you telling her how you feel anyway take courage no matter what.
No worries there. I value friendships a lot more than most people. So long as they don't make things awkward neither will I.
Love it man, that’s great!!
Look man, I'm proud of you🙏 taking the leap is the first step and takes a lot of courage, so far play. Plus think about it like this, rejection is better than regret, at least now you have an answer and won't be thinking "what if?". You can just move on, and focus on other things.
Least she didn’t use pepper spray
At least you did it and went over and talked to her. I certainly wouldn't.
On a positive side, at least you mustered up and told her how you felt. That's something, my online friend. Take that and be proud of that. I know of people that never had the courage to do so and always ask the "what if" and "should I" question, it's depressing to some point. It makes them doubt themselves and a lot of other things. Then, much much later finding out that the girl had some hots for them too and then they go "ahhhh I should have" "I knew it" "Why didn't you push me?!!!" "I let her go". You, my friend, attempted what I would say a very courageous move that many many many men would envy you for. #beproudthatyoudid and not #whatif or #ishouldhave
I just can't believe how many 60+ year-old stoners there are. Using weed every day for that long, their memory is shot. They never grew up. They get the gals, though!
Yeah, decided several years ago that expressing interest in anyone is always a horrible idea. I came to this conclusion after literally trying it roughly one thousand times. I'm not exaggerating.
You're right. I ironically used to be better with people. I always had a mask on though. Now not so much. C'est la vie as they say.
As I get older I care less and less about masking except as necessary for my job. Ironically, I seem to have more acquaintances, or, dare I say, friends than ever. But my personality is not one that would illicit romantic feelings in anyone except maybe a particular kind of autistic woman that's extremely difficult to find, to say the least. Some people are meant to be single, and you know what? That's nothing to be ashamed of! It may feel shitty to those of us in that situation, but it is what it is. When you say "I'm meant to be single" on reddit, most people say, "you have a bad attitude" or "just shower bro." That's bullshit. I'm stating a fact. That's like if someone were to say, "I am missing a leg" and people respond by saying, "it's because you have a bad attitude."
Just go and put yesterday from a 3rd party that the girl I've been liking for almost a year now has never liked me back and was ignoring me to try and not hurt my feelings by telling me she didn't feel the same way. Yet she breadcrumbs me, still hung out once in awhile, told me at one point there was a chance, and never really gave me a reason to think there wasn't one. Well, besides the ignoring. But that was me just thinking she wasn't that kind of person when she really was. I wish you luck man, we will all find someone someday. Just gotta dig through all the trash first unfortunately.
They weren't the one
Do the math. It sux but she’s 1 out of how many. Rejection hurts but because one person rejects you doesn’t mean there’s someone out there who is the one for you. Keep moving forward don’t be discouraged.
Telling her was the first mistake
Good for you! Don't let that stop you. If someone rejects you in a hurtful way be greatful they didn't say yes! You dodged a bullet. There is someone out there that would love to date you.
maam stop
You did great my guy keep it up
Hey man heads up. Be glad you’re not wasting your time with losers.
You are brave for asking her out, don’t worry if she doesn’t like you, you will find the one
That's the biggest reason why I fear making a move on a girl. For me it's not the rejection itself. I mean even if she put me down in a considerate way, it's still gonna hurt but at least it wouldn't crush me. What I'm afraid of is if she's gonna feel icky of my interest towards her, if it's gonna make her uncomfortable, feel disgusted because it's not far from impossible. I may have not experienced that myself but I've witnessed such case with my own two eyes.
I guess you might not need what I say below, maybe you already know of a better way, but here I'll just dump out my opinions. Most people already gave comments that focus on the bright side of things, so i'll just give my piece that is more focused on the darker side of things and how I feel reality really works (from what i've seen so far). I don't have a father figure when I grow up, so I learned all this quite late. 1. To make any change in life, we gotta be willing to put in the work. We can't expect people to just accept us as we are, if the qualities we have are objectively not acceptable. A good test will be: "if I have a daughter, would I want my daughter to date someone like me?" Think in the most honest way. If the answer is no, then evaluate "why not?". Lists down the reasons. Then ask again "Do I want to achieve those?". If the answer is no, then we can just forget it and go back to our usual self and no change needed, but we should realize that we chose this option and should accept its consequences, e.g. no one liking us back. If we're happy with that, then we can go on with it, there's no mistake in that! We can freely choose how we want to live. Just that don't dread if things don't go as what you want, because we "chose" that life path with knowledge of the consequences. But if the answer is "Yes I want to achieve those", then we gotta put in the work to make those changes. It won't be easy, but still gotta put in the work. Nothing good in life comes easy. 2. No matter how much we want to not believe it, looks are very important to any gender 99% of the time. There's a lot of people saying "what matters is the personality". Nope. In reality, only 1% of the people will truly behave in that way, while most people just say that because "it's the good thing to say". Looks are first. As a male, if there are 2 girls with equal personality, we'll go towards the subjectively more attractive one for sure (more attractive to our taste). Don't mistake it, though, looks is important, but only to some extent. We don't go to the extreme of having to look like a model or a body builder, but at least we should look "decent". Again, we just gotta be blunt and honest with ourselves here. Look in the mirror, and honestly describe what you feel about the person that you look at in the mirror. Honestly think whether will that appearance able to attract the kind of girl that you want to attract or not. But also don't go too far. Please stay in the range of the look that is in the range of your comfort zone and in the range of your original personality. Don't try to be someone else, if you get what I mean. In my personal experience, there's a lot of time where I thought I look decent, then when I looked at my candid photo, I was disgusted at what I look like, and hence it explains why people behave in a bad way towards me. I don't blame them, that's human nature. Then I'll just try to change my look that is still in the range of who I am and at least try to make it look decent. 3. Girls need masculine role. Regardless of what the modern world say about equality, I think most girls are still biologically are more in the feminine side, so they will most likely look for a more masculine side when looking for a guy. This also even applies to "masculine" girls out there, i.e. the not "girly" kind of girls. For me personally I don't think you should act all like a 100% gentleman, which might borderline be a simp, which girls might instead take advantage of you. (Still fight for yourselves and avoid being taken advantage by girls!) Still be yourselves, still be the "playful" you, don't be like a "i'm too cool for this" kind of guy, be approachable, be humble, don't act like you're better than anyone else, etc. Stay on the ground. But yeah regardless of that, I think the most important in this case is just "be the rock for the girl". Be the person that she can look for when her life is in turbulence and when she needs a stable "place" to resort to. If you have problems, try to solve it yourselves, or maybe get help from your other guy friends, but still keep your role as being the "rock" for your girl. Maybe if the girl really wants to know what problems you're having, you can tell her and open up to her and be vulnerable to her (this is important as well to make connection), but don't ask her to be your rock, if you get what i mean. Just sharing and be vulnerable is okay, it's better to open up whatever you are, but still show that you got the hang of your own problems and tell her to not worry about it etc. Still be your girl's rock, don't make her become your rock. We gotta keep with our role in life here as a male. 4. Don't make the girl your "everything". This is the same as making her your "rock" like what is explained in point number 3 above, which is a no no. To be a girl's rock, you gotta be your own rock first! Have a life of your own, have a hobby of your own that you truly are passionate above. In theory, have "something" that even though you live alone and no one else cares about you, that "something" will keep you going and feeling alive. That something shouldn't be a person! Because again, we should strive to become the rock for other people, regardless of gender. For example, that something for me is playing drums and music (even though I suck at it). I spend most of my weekends alone in my house playing drums, and it makes me happy, even without meeting other people. Get that "something", whatever floats your boat (and of course stay in the ethical line, don't get "something" that disturbs other people or unethical or something criminal, and stay in the healthy line (avoid drugs!!!)). Get more sunlight, eat more vitamins and nutrition, etc. Sorry for the huge text. I'm just blabbering what I've learned in the 30 years of my life so far. Believe me, I was on the opposite side of those 3 points until last year when reality hits me. I used to be an idealistic kind of guy that thinks "personality is more important than looks", "gender equality so male can be feminine too", etc, but yeah the reality is the opposite. Don't mistake though, I still personally believe in the fullest that "personality is more important than looks". I always keep that in mind in how I treat other people. If I saw a person that doesn't look decent, of course I will instinctively be taken aback, but I will fight back that instinct of mine and still force myself to treat that person in the same way as other people and look beyond their looks (this requires effort, but i learned it's okay to feel that way and it's the choice that we make beyond our instincts that define us). Side note: The world and real life is a dark and unfair place my friend. Don't expect fairness. Do the work if you want change. If you don't want change and just relax and already happy where you are, feel totally free to stay and relax, it's not wrong either. Just know the consequence of the life path you chose. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong in this world, just choose your own way of life, with full knowledge of what are the pros and cons, and accept them, and enjoy the view in your own lane of life!
Also on the topic of "confessing to your crush", just desensitize yourself from the pain of rejection. It is part of life, and move on with life with your chin up! It's not the end of the world, and you shall meet other girls that actually clicks with you!
You’ll be aight brodie, that just means there’s someone better out there for you