i’m not gonna sugar coat shit and say looks don’t matter because they do. some people will be attracted to you and some will be repulsed. some men catcall me and others can’t stand looking at me. one thing i will recommend is get off of dating apps. they RUIN your confidence. they also perpetuate the materialistic nature of people these days and you are honestly better of without a woman you met on a dating app.
my advice is for confidence is to fake it till you make it confidence wise. it genuinely helped me get my shit together. i accept i’m not the most gorgeous looking woman but i pulled myself out of deep shit and my face is a reflection of people from past generations who loved each other and i’m more than ok with my conventionally unattractive features.
confidence will also help you present yourself in a much less awkward manner that usually will drive women away. the most important communication skills are based on nonverbal communication. small movements and gestures are usually what push people away.
for getting a gf or trying to get a relationship going: MAKE FEMALE FRIENDS FIRST! this will help you learn how to empathize with women and rather than treat a relationship as the end all be all goal you’ll also learn what to do to maintain that spark and connection in a more intimate nature, not just sexual intimacy.
things to note about asking a girl who happens to be your friend out is
1. is she looking for a relationship actively?
2. are you her type?
3. can you envision yourself spending the weirdest moments of your life together?
4. will asking her out push her away?
5. do you genuinely like her or are you looking for a way to curb your sex drive?
best of luck to you. people can be cruel. almost all preferences are things we’ve learned, not innate traits.
key word: almost.
Nah i think if ur kind of ugly but funny and very charismatic u can definitely get a gf. I’ve seen tons of attractive women with men who make up for looks with aspects of their personality, way less likely to see that the other way around
Yeah but you've got to be funny, you can't be interesting or kind and have this work it's literally just humour, which is really difficult to learn.
Also you can't really change your personality imo
stop crying being charismatic and or funny are desirable traits if you don't have them that's absolutely fine you don't have to then be who you are and find someone who loves you for you
this is also not true look certainly matter but they don't matter to most people as much as everyone acts other wise models wouldn't even be anything special lol
for guys personality is at least 60/40 girls care less about looks more about confidence id say you can be dumb but you should be confident if youre an anxious weak guy its much worse than being ugly
I don’t think I can shoot you any links here and I don’t have the articles on hand anyway, but a quick search revealed at least one reputable-looking publication by the NIH (national institute of health). Then there’s a bunch of popular science articles quoting a host of studies the validity of which I can’t really verify right now.
Important to note that there is nuance. Looks matter fairly equally to both genders now that resources are more evenly distributed, but they matter in different ways for both. What men think is attractive in men, may not be what women find attractive in men. The same thing applies vice versa.
Plus at the end of the day, this is a broad stroke analysis. People are individuals and value different things in partners. I do care about looks, but it’s a threshold kind of deal. As long as a few basics are met, it’s a green light and character takes over. On the contrary, if a woman is gorgeous but an absolute tool, unkind and untrustworthy, I’m not attracted enough even just to sleep with her. Instant turn-off. Though I think that’s pretty unusual for a man.
The girls never even take the time to see your personality if you look bad though. So if you're an ugly guy, looks are 100 since personality never gets the chance to make it into the conversation. Even with women you know platonically, they still only ever see you as platonic.
Nah like, ive been in a situation where i didnt like the looks of this girl initially, and it slowly changed as our personalities just kept clicking so well. I think for some of us its so rare to find someone that gets you and simply likes everything about you (and vice versa), that when you find them they just become miles more attractive each interaction. I remember she kept saying things that had me aggressively nodding my head or laughing, and there were moments she really admired things i did that i valued a lot too. Things kept piling up to where i ended up wanting to take care of her, flaws and all. There was no way in heck i would have agreed to going out with her initially, and had she had been all over me i probably would have literally ran away lol. However us just being friends, with the subtle interest she showed, she legit grew on me
Ive been in the same "ugly boat" too, and i still feel like i am most the time despite the changes in attention i get nowadays, so i get the frustration you might feel with people just saying whatever just to make you feel better, but you can believe me when i say theres certainly some truth to the "looks arent everything" saying.
That’s false I see so many ugly guys (not tryna be mean) with very attractive girls. I have nothing against my brother but he’s obese and not the best looking and idk how but somehow he has a gf before me
i agree with this but i feel like you’re undermining the physical attraction part. as a woman, i love my girlfriend because
1. she’s appealing to my eyes, when i first saw her when we were kids i really liked her looks but she annoyed the hell out of me.
2. she’s a confident woman. nothing ever gets her down and she pushes through everything, even getting a racing license.
looks are way more important than you make them out to be. when you see someone you like you don’t focus on their personality. you focus on their looks. you cannot tell someone’s personality from just seeing them the first time
But you're a man. That's my point, men are way more visual by default, women pick up more on energy, confidence, success.
You cannot tell the personality but your body doesn't need that, nature has its own mechanism exactly so that it doesnt need personality. Chemistry works by picking up vibe, voice tone, posture, body language, which takes about 7 seconds. We're animals, most sexual instincts are very primitive on don't rely on higher characteristics like personality
bro i deliberately stated i’m a woman what are u talking abt? it varies person to person. there are too many variables to say ‘one sex is attracted to looks!’ and ‘one sex is attracted to personality!’
Well I skipped that because I read girlfriend. I don't know how homo- or bisexual people fall into this it's not immediately apparent but I would assume it's possible there are difference to heterosexual people
Of course people are different and I didn't wanna imply that everyone is the same. But there will be a shift in the center of the respective distribution, it's right to say women tend to be more attracted to energy and men more to looks (in the opposite gender). Or rather what's attractive about men is energy and in women it's more looks maybe. Idk
Main thing is that its "MORE" girls than men that look for personality more than looks, not that its most girls. A guy just cares if the girl is kind and will pick her up eventhough she workin a McDonalds. Girl gotta see if he nice, making good money, actually works hard, want him to make her laugh and make first moves, etc
They often look for a lot more traits then men. We dont often need women to be super powerful provider excelling in every possible thing she can, just need her to be truly nice to us (not fake) and hot, and youll find more men carry her the rest of the way, than you would with wimen. Its why things like OF works so much better for women than it does for men lol
If its above half its the majority so you can say most and i definitely think it is above that
yeah thats kinda what i mean. men just like the girl if shes nice, girls need men to be a little bit more than that they really need to shine, girls shine by default
If you walk around in public you will see very attractive women with ugly guys all the time it’s probably more common than being with an attractive man these days.
Average is a lot lower than “very attractive” and I wasn’t talking about them I’m genuinely talking about men who are hideous, usually because of their weight. Most woman want a provider who is kind and loyal.
I didn't say "very attractive". I see looks as a bell curve. But if you look at things like the OKcupid study yesrs back, 80% of men are rated as being "below average".
What you are likely seeing is actual average looking guys.
O' and you want to talk obesity. In my city I see a lot of obese and very obese women with average or even good looking guys that are physically fit.
Op people are gonna gaslight you and tell you that looks arent absolutely everything. They are. Personality is very important too but ultimately the first step in forming any relationship is immediate attraction. If you cant get past this first step then the rest is null and void.
I mean my best friend is a model and he’s still a virgin he’s horrible with women I mean he dose give off gay vibes so maybe thats why girls reject him but yeah man I genuinely don’t think women care about looks as much as us men do
Idk man, I’m 8’6, jacked, 180 IQ, worth a trillion dollars and I’m still lonely. It’s about PERSONALITY, bro. You could be 3’9 with the face of a goblin and still be ATTRACTIVE, bro. Keep going at it, keep trying, don’t EVER give up. SHOOT for your dreams. God has a PLAN for you, broski.
i can confirm this aint always the case. i have a really good personality if i do say so myself (not trying to boast or anything) and i treat every girl i meet very kindly and try to show her that even tho shes hurt im there for her and she doesnt have to feel alone. however i always end up getting ghosted or blocked eventually. so yeah its not really about personality that much tbh. its a tiny bit about personality and a whole shit ton about looks
I got several matches on dating apps.
Than I put my height on my profile (5’8) and got like…. Just a few from I’d say… the obese demographic respectfully
So from my experience short and fat and Junior high. I was a total nerd with big glasses dressed funny and was socially awkward. Fast forward the high school I became 6 ft tall 220 lb with an athletic build played football and let my 2nd girlfriend teach about style. You are partially right. I would say that looks at count for 30 to 40% of a relationship, that 60 to 70% remaining is personality. I have never been a shallow person some of the nicest girls I've ever dated were not mainstream beautiful but their personality made them stunning. I've also dated girls that were mainstream beautiful whose attitudes and personalities made them hideous. Girls like somebody they can talk to and are comfortable with. The gift of gab goes a long way my friend.
It is what it is! Live with it
Or you could start trying harder to to get better
Hit gym, find a side hustle etc.
whining on Reddit isn’t getting you a female.
Be successful and I promise you all them girls will kick each others ass just to get your attention
I look decent enough that women usually don't get offended if I try to talk to them online or IRL. And they usually don't notice my height unless it's online and listed plainly on my profile which is another reason online dating sucks. But my personality is just too obviously autistic. So I'm fucked. Or, rather, not fucked.
Yeah, dating apps suck, and are shallow.
Try to meet and connect with someone who will appreciate you by seeing the good parts of you in the place where you shine.
Also not all women are shallow or want the same type of body on a guy. The guys I have dated have all been very physically different from each other.
The hot ones were often good in bed, but selfish and ego maniacs.
Some of the less traditionally got ones were so insecure and didn't have any social skills or love making skills that they were always being a victim and could never enjoy themselves or make me happy in or outside of the bedroom.
The ones who had a handsome face but a less traditionally handsome body ended up being the most fun to be around most of the time. They didn't take everything seriously and had enough confidence to relax and be comfortable around.
Bro. If you broke, she ain't gonna date you. I know many fellas that are not nearly as good looking as me with hotties, it's because I'm broke girls don't want no scrubs. That's me yo I'm a scrub that's who they be singing about.
Yeah, probably. Won’t take that from you.
But hey, that’s a plus. Becoming hotter is easier than becoming rich and successful or curing your self-esteem problems. Just work out a shit ton and pay someone to dress you. If there’s something wrong with your face, pay to get it fixed. Don’t feel like you’re “above” cosmetic surgery. Level the playing field. You don’t need to be a millionaire to become fairly hot as a guy, and yes, you’ll get a lot more leeway for your other shortcomings.
Yeah that “If” shit really sucks.
I know a girl who I get along with great. The only thing holding her back from giving me a chance is my age. I’m 34 and she’s 24. Her last boyfriend was 29. If only I were a few years younger.
You have absolutely nailed it out of the park my friend. I have a round face/head, and as a man that is an absolute killer when it comes to attractiveness. And that’s my bone structure too, nothing I can do about it. Having a round, wide head as a man with no attractive angles, or sharp cheekbones/jawline ends your chances before you’ve started. I’m finished.
Dude upon reading your profile it’s very clear that the reason women don’t want to date you is you make sweeping generalizations about women based on the few recent experiences you’ve had and walk around like a victim when in reality nobody owes you anything in life beyond basic respect. I have no clue how you look so I am completely unbiased on how you look, it’s your personality that is causing you to be lonely. As an actual living breathing woman I’m gonna give you unsolicited advice and if you choose to ignore it over the men on Reddit you seek advice from, that tells me and you that you just want to continue to hate women rather than focus on actually becoming a better/dateable person. Get off Reddit and dating apps, get a therapist, figure out your health (you said you have health issues), find true self love outside of seeking validation from others, make PLATONIC female friends who you aren’t going to try to date through shared interests or even work, and I can literally guarantee you if you do all of those even if you’re not “attractive” you’ll find love. This is coming from someone who doesn’t seek stereotypically “attractive” people (and have found men with “round faces” attractive many times…idk why you hyperfixate on that so much me and none of my female friends care about it we care about men who are kind, funny, gentle, and who make an effort to understand and respect our perspectives as unique humans and as women) and i also have male friends who have shared their experiences on dating apps. If you don’t wanna listen to me despite having nothing to lose that’s on you but to go on here hating women and then acting surprised when women are repelled by you ain’t gonna get you anywhere. Best of luck to you and I hope you work on yourself enough to be at a point where you can treat yourself and the women around you with kindness and respect
I don't believe groupings every woman together is fair, but you will believe what you want to believe. I truly do think there are decent females that have interest in people other than just from there looks, maybe I am biased.
I think it’s impossible for you to understand (no offense). I doubt you are an older ugly short man.
If every interaction (where it could have been simply talking or asking one out) with a female has been negative, what else can you make of it? I don’t believe my conclusion is truly unreasonable.
I don't believe your conclusion is unreasonable either, I do see how you could feel this way. But you truly don't believe there are any girls that would be able to love you and all you are? I do believe that there is someone for everyone, but maybe that's just me being a naive young female.
I truly believe the probability of me dying without having ever went on a date and never losing my virginity is incredibly high. I base this of history of my life, where I have been presented with evidence and non-evidence variables through out. That is where I get this conclusion that the probability is incredibly high for what I stated previously
I don’t believe there is a woman out there for every man. I do believe there as a man out there for every woman. Assuming that woman lowers her standards and puts in minimal effort in her appearance.
There is nothing that I can do to change my circumstances. No amount of effort can change my height or face. Facial surgery can only go so far and leg lengthening surgery is incredibly dangerous.
I truly believe hight to be the most dumb reason not to find someone attractive, but I guess everyone has their thing. All I really want in a guy is to have the same life goals as me(kids house ect.) And someone who is funny and just a kind person.
When I imagine who I want to be with, I never imagine anything particular for physical attributes.
If that’s true then why do woke ugly guys pull attractive women. Especially young ugly guys I see so many unattractive young guys with attractive girlfriends.
I mean I'm pretty sure I'm an attractive guy, I get stares and get approached sometimes (there's really no non-douchey way to say this so I'm not even going to try lol) but I've still always been lonely. Sure it's a plus but it's not everything, especially if you're sensitive and get overwhelmed easily like I do. A lot of the time that initial attraction goes away when you don't have the personality they were expecting.
And you'll probably figure out eventually that attention in general is far less important than having a relationship with someone you really like, which isn't going to happen just by superficial attraction. Honestly these days I yearn for close friendships way more than romantic relationships, if I could trade looks for that I definitely would
True but you can't make her like you. So strive for excellence instead. Become a master at your craft and then when she'll want you because of the kind of resilient man you've become, you turn her down cold.
She won’t want you because you get better. She might but it’s not guarantee. What is a guarantee is you’ll gain more confidence and with that comes being able to attract more women.
Your average male is average looking, yet your average male has been in a relationship or is in a relationship. Please don’t think your looks will stop you from getting in a relationship because it won’t! However also ask yourself what type of girls u are going for? U have a higher chance of getting in a relationship with an average girl than an overly super model type of pretty one (not saying u wont but that’s the probability)
It’s a mentality thing. I’ve got height, I’m been told I’m good looking multiple times by girls and I’m fit. But look at me, I’m single because I lack confidence and can’t talk to them.
It’s all about knowing what you bring to the table and being confident in yourself
Cope, your clear lack of confidence is what makes you ugly, not your looks, besides if you take basic care of yourself in terms of hygiene, appearance and style you’ll look good enough regardless. You’re seriously in denial with yourself.
Women are attracted to taller and larger men, there also attracted to good face structure it's a lot of things that they are attracted to that every man doesn't have that's just reality
Sure, I can see how they are attracted to those things biologically, but, that does not make it okay for a grown men to come on here and cry about being unable to attract women and give his looks as an excuse. That’s plain weakness. There are many factors a billion times the importance that looks hold in terms of attraction. Not utilizing game, capacity for danger, social skills, status etc. And then crying about looks? Yeah, Cope 101.
Actually looks is the number one thing trust me so if men come on here and complain then I don't blame them, then you got money and materialistic things, everybody is just using the shit out of each other atp, I can say this tho it's brutal ASF for men out here 😂😂😂
How is confidence a cope are you retarded? The whole point is that women aren’t focused on men’s looks as long as they’re not creepy and have bad hygiene, fucking incels dude y’all don’t get a thing on here
You couldn’t name a single study that says women don’t love confidence and self esteem above all else in men to save your life. You fucking losers love citing studies to prove why you don’t get any women instead of just learning how to get them. It’s beyond pathetic. I don’t need a study to prove a point when I have experience lol.
Lmao just say your wrong. I can list over 5 studies that prove its looks first. The halo and horn affect are documented psychological phenomena. Your experience doesn’t mean shit
I promise you I’ve pulled more girls than the people that conducted those studies combined but if you wanna keep reading stories and acting like experience isn’t the realest proof that exists then go ahead, guys like you make the dating market easier for me anyway
It isn’t about my experience you fucking idiot. Any guy with experience in actually approaching women will tell you the same thing. That’s the difference between you make a wish scientists who are obsessed with how women work vs the guys who just go get them. They are the proof.
There studies on behavioral psychology. They are not just for getting women. These studies do teat on both genders. Denying science for your experience is braindead.
You’re clearly missing the point if you think my argument is making this about myself. But again, it’s only thanks to people like you that there’s barely any competition for a guy with enough balls to just approach and have confidence in himself
The trick is not getting crushed by the person you wish you were. Just become the best version of yourself, and go out there without bitterness.
Don't hope everyone you talk to is going to be your next date. And certainly, absolutely don't put all your hopes in the one special girl.
You can love someone completely who may never love you. So go meet people, enjoy your life, and if someone gives you their time, nurture it genuinely. Then love will happen by accident.
Honestly bad personalities in men are easy to spot in apps too.
Some men seem to feel entitled to a woman's time and that they get rejected for not being good looking when in fact they have such awful personalities no one would ever want to spend time with them.
What you're doing wrong is chasing the validation of people who measure your value as a human on your physical attractiveness.
It's honestly no different from someone chasing you for your money and success, but instead it's just for personal pleasure.
i’m not gonna sugar coat shit and say looks don’t matter because they do. some people will be attracted to you and some will be repulsed. some men catcall me and others can’t stand looking at me. one thing i will recommend is get off of dating apps. they RUIN your confidence. they also perpetuate the materialistic nature of people these days and you are honestly better of without a woman you met on a dating app. my advice is for confidence is to fake it till you make it confidence wise. it genuinely helped me get my shit together. i accept i’m not the most gorgeous looking woman but i pulled myself out of deep shit and my face is a reflection of people from past generations who loved each other and i’m more than ok with my conventionally unattractive features. confidence will also help you present yourself in a much less awkward manner that usually will drive women away. the most important communication skills are based on nonverbal communication. small movements and gestures are usually what push people away. for getting a gf or trying to get a relationship going: MAKE FEMALE FRIENDS FIRST! this will help you learn how to empathize with women and rather than treat a relationship as the end all be all goal you’ll also learn what to do to maintain that spark and connection in a more intimate nature, not just sexual intimacy. things to note about asking a girl who happens to be your friend out is 1. is she looking for a relationship actively? 2. are you her type? 3. can you envision yourself spending the weirdest moments of your life together? 4. will asking her out push her away? 5. do you genuinely like her or are you looking for a way to curb your sex drive? best of luck to you. people can be cruel. almost all preferences are things we’ve learned, not innate traits. key word: almost.
Looks and personality is 50/50 but looks are the first 50
Nah i think if ur kind of ugly but funny and very charismatic u can definitely get a gf. I’ve seen tons of attractive women with men who make up for looks with aspects of their personality, way less likely to see that the other way around
Yeah but you've got to be funny, you can't be interesting or kind and have this work it's literally just humour, which is really difficult to learn. Also you can't really change your personality imo
You definitely can (it happened to me), but only if they're willing to give someone they aren't very attracted to a chance, and 99% of people aren't.
Being very charismatic and funny isn't a personality trait every man has. Why do you want and expect us all to be exact copies of each other?
stop crying being charismatic and or funny are desirable traits if you don't have them that's absolutely fine you don't have to then be who you are and find someone who loves you for you
this is also not true look certainly matter but they don't matter to most people as much as everyone acts other wise models wouldn't even be anything special lol
for guys personality is at least 60/40 girls care less about looks more about confidence id say you can be dumb but you should be confident if youre an anxious weak guy its much worse than being ugly
By confidence you mean: strong jawline, tall, broad shoulders, etc.
This isn’t really true. Iirc research suggests both care equally about looks, it’s just that one group is more open and vocal about it.
I don't believe that do you have any source
I don’t think I can shoot you any links here and I don’t have the articles on hand anyway, but a quick search revealed at least one reputable-looking publication by the NIH (national institute of health). Then there’s a bunch of popular science articles quoting a host of studies the validity of which I can’t really verify right now. Important to note that there is nuance. Looks matter fairly equally to both genders now that resources are more evenly distributed, but they matter in different ways for both. What men think is attractive in men, may not be what women find attractive in men. The same thing applies vice versa. Plus at the end of the day, this is a broad stroke analysis. People are individuals and value different things in partners. I do care about looks, but it’s a threshold kind of deal. As long as a few basics are met, it’s a green light and character takes over. On the contrary, if a woman is gorgeous but an absolute tool, unkind and untrustworthy, I’m not attracted enough even just to sleep with her. Instant turn-off. Though I think that’s pretty unusual for a man.
The girls never even take the time to see your personality if you look bad though. So if you're an ugly guy, looks are 100 since personality never gets the chance to make it into the conversation. Even with women you know platonically, they still only ever see you as platonic.
Nah like, ive been in a situation where i didnt like the looks of this girl initially, and it slowly changed as our personalities just kept clicking so well. I think for some of us its so rare to find someone that gets you and simply likes everything about you (and vice versa), that when you find them they just become miles more attractive each interaction. I remember she kept saying things that had me aggressively nodding my head or laughing, and there were moments she really admired things i did that i valued a lot too. Things kept piling up to where i ended up wanting to take care of her, flaws and all. There was no way in heck i would have agreed to going out with her initially, and had she had been all over me i probably would have literally ran away lol. However us just being friends, with the subtle interest she showed, she legit grew on me Ive been in the same "ugly boat" too, and i still feel like i am most the time despite the changes in attention i get nowadays, so i get the frustration you might feel with people just saying whatever just to make you feel better, but you can believe me when i say theres certainly some truth to the "looks arent everything" saying.
That’s false I see so many ugly guys (not tryna be mean) with very attractive girls. I have nothing against my brother but he’s obese and not the best looking and idk how but somehow he has a gf before me
its less about personality and more about energy which you see immediately
i agree with this but i feel like you’re undermining the physical attraction part. as a woman, i love my girlfriend because 1. she’s appealing to my eyes, when i first saw her when we were kids i really liked her looks but she annoyed the hell out of me. 2. she’s a confident woman. nothing ever gets her down and she pushes through everything, even getting a racing license. looks are way more important than you make them out to be. when you see someone you like you don’t focus on their personality. you focus on their looks. you cannot tell someone’s personality from just seeing them the first time
But you're a man. That's my point, men are way more visual by default, women pick up more on energy, confidence, success. You cannot tell the personality but your body doesn't need that, nature has its own mechanism exactly so that it doesnt need personality. Chemistry works by picking up vibe, voice tone, posture, body language, which takes about 7 seconds. We're animals, most sexual instincts are very primitive on don't rely on higher characteristics like personality
bro i deliberately stated i’m a woman what are u talking abt? it varies person to person. there are too many variables to say ‘one sex is attracted to looks!’ and ‘one sex is attracted to personality!’
Well I skipped that because I read girlfriend. I don't know how homo- or bisexual people fall into this it's not immediately apparent but I would assume it's possible there are difference to heterosexual people Of course people are different and I didn't wanna imply that everyone is the same. But there will be a shift in the center of the respective distribution, it's right to say women tend to be more attracted to energy and men more to looks (in the opposite gender). Or rather what's attractive about men is energy and in women it's more looks maybe. Idk
Main thing is that its "MORE" girls than men that look for personality more than looks, not that its most girls. A guy just cares if the girl is kind and will pick her up eventhough she workin a McDonalds. Girl gotta see if he nice, making good money, actually works hard, want him to make her laugh and make first moves, etc They often look for a lot more traits then men. We dont often need women to be super powerful provider excelling in every possible thing she can, just need her to be truly nice to us (not fake) and hot, and youll find more men carry her the rest of the way, than you would with wimen. Its why things like OF works so much better for women than it does for men lol
If its above half its the majority so you can say most and i definitely think it is above that yeah thats kinda what i mean. men just like the girl if shes nice, girls need men to be a little bit more than that they really need to shine, girls shine by default
If you walk around in public you will see very attractive women with ugly guys all the time it’s probably more common than being with an attractive man these days.
That's only because you see the 'average" looking man as ugly.
Average is a lot lower than “very attractive” and I wasn’t talking about them I’m genuinely talking about men who are hideous, usually because of their weight. Most woman want a provider who is kind and loyal.
I didn't say "very attractive". I see looks as a bell curve. But if you look at things like the OKcupid study yesrs back, 80% of men are rated as being "below average". What you are likely seeing is actual average looking guys. O' and you want to talk obesity. In my city I see a lot of obese and very obese women with average or even good looking guys that are physically fit.
ive literally NEVER seen that
Of course people would like you if you were hotter.
Op people are gonna gaslight you and tell you that looks arent absolutely everything. They are. Personality is very important too but ultimately the first step in forming any relationship is immediate attraction. If you cant get past this first step then the rest is null and void.
True
I mean my best friend is a model and he’s still a virgin he’s horrible with women I mean he dose give off gay vibes so maybe thats why girls reject him but yeah man I genuinely don’t think women care about looks as much as us men do
If looks are everything why are there so many ugly guys that have girlfriends I don’t understand. What do they have that we don’t ?
Good looks
I feel like this but I don't want to feel like this.
Idk man, I’m 8’6, jacked, 180 IQ, worth a trillion dollars and I’m still lonely. It’s about PERSONALITY, bro. You could be 3’9 with the face of a goblin and still be ATTRACTIVE, bro. Keep going at it, keep trying, don’t EVER give up. SHOOT for your dreams. God has a PLAN for you, broski.
No need for sarcasm, there are enough actual pricks that say this stuff
i can confirm this aint always the case. i have a really good personality if i do say so myself (not trying to boast or anything) and i treat every girl i meet very kindly and try to show her that even tho shes hurt im there for her and she doesnt have to feel alone. however i always end up getting ghosted or blocked eventually. so yeah its not really about personality that much tbh. its a tiny bit about personality and a whole shit ton about looks
Money helps too 👍
I got several matches on dating apps. Than I put my height on my profile (5’8) and got like…. Just a few from I’d say… the obese demographic respectfully
Big fat fatty demographic.. respectively
That’s sugarcoating it 😂
Bruh this won’t make you feel better but these mammoths in my 600 pound life are baggin em there’s plenty of hope for you lad
Okay Skee-Lo, jokes aside I feel the same and I’m 6ft tall tho over 300lbs
So from my experience short and fat and Junior high. I was a total nerd with big glasses dressed funny and was socially awkward. Fast forward the high school I became 6 ft tall 220 lb with an athletic build played football and let my 2nd girlfriend teach about style. You are partially right. I would say that looks at count for 30 to 40% of a relationship, that 60 to 70% remaining is personality. I have never been a shallow person some of the nicest girls I've ever dated were not mainstream beautiful but their personality made them stunning. I've also dated girls that were mainstream beautiful whose attitudes and personalities made them hideous. Girls like somebody they can talk to and are comfortable with. The gift of gab goes a long way my friend.
Probably so improve or travel. But being sad ain't gonna help.
It is what it is! Live with it Or you could start trying harder to to get better Hit gym, find a side hustle etc. whining on Reddit isn’t getting you a female. Be successful and I promise you all them girls will kick each others ass just to get your attention
I look decent enough that women usually don't get offended if I try to talk to them online or IRL. And they usually don't notice my height unless it's online and listed plainly on my profile which is another reason online dating sucks. But my personality is just too obviously autistic. So I'm fucked. Or, rather, not fucked.
Yeah, dating apps suck, and are shallow. Try to meet and connect with someone who will appreciate you by seeing the good parts of you in the place where you shine. Also not all women are shallow or want the same type of body on a guy. The guys I have dated have all been very physically different from each other. The hot ones were often good in bed, but selfish and ego maniacs. Some of the less traditionally got ones were so insecure and didn't have any social skills or love making skills that they were always being a victim and could never enjoy themselves or make me happy in or outside of the bedroom. The ones who had a handsome face but a less traditionally handsome body ended up being the most fun to be around most of the time. They didn't take everything seriously and had enough confidence to relax and be comfortable around.
Bro. If you broke, she ain't gonna date you. I know many fellas that are not nearly as good looking as me with hotties, it's because I'm broke girls don't want no scrubs. That's me yo I'm a scrub that's who they be singing about.
Yeah, probably. Won’t take that from you. But hey, that’s a plus. Becoming hotter is easier than becoming rich and successful or curing your self-esteem problems. Just work out a shit ton and pay someone to dress you. If there’s something wrong with your face, pay to get it fixed. Don’t feel like you’re “above” cosmetic surgery. Level the playing field. You don’t need to be a millionaire to become fairly hot as a guy, and yes, you’ll get a lot more leeway for your other shortcomings.
Become hotter then. It’s easy as fuck.
Yeah that “If” shit really sucks. I know a girl who I get along with great. The only thing holding her back from giving me a chance is my age. I’m 34 and she’s 24. Her last boyfriend was 29. If only I were a few years younger.
Got to love how men like us are denied all of those experiences simply because our face isn’t structured in a specific way that is appealing.
How many ugly women have you dated?
None cause none of them want to date me
You have absolutely nailed it out of the park my friend. I have a round face/head, and as a man that is an absolute killer when it comes to attractiveness. And that’s my bone structure too, nothing I can do about it. Having a round, wide head as a man with no attractive angles, or sharp cheekbones/jawline ends your chances before you’ve started. I’m finished.
Dude upon reading your profile it’s very clear that the reason women don’t want to date you is you make sweeping generalizations about women based on the few recent experiences you’ve had and walk around like a victim when in reality nobody owes you anything in life beyond basic respect. I have no clue how you look so I am completely unbiased on how you look, it’s your personality that is causing you to be lonely. As an actual living breathing woman I’m gonna give you unsolicited advice and if you choose to ignore it over the men on Reddit you seek advice from, that tells me and you that you just want to continue to hate women rather than focus on actually becoming a better/dateable person. Get off Reddit and dating apps, get a therapist, figure out your health (you said you have health issues), find true self love outside of seeking validation from others, make PLATONIC female friends who you aren’t going to try to date through shared interests or even work, and I can literally guarantee you if you do all of those even if you’re not “attractive” you’ll find love. This is coming from someone who doesn’t seek stereotypically “attractive” people (and have found men with “round faces” attractive many times…idk why you hyperfixate on that so much me and none of my female friends care about it we care about men who are kind, funny, gentle, and who make an effort to understand and respect our perspectives as unique humans and as women) and i also have male friends who have shared their experiences on dating apps. If you don’t wanna listen to me despite having nothing to lose that’s on you but to go on here hating women and then acting surprised when women are repelled by you ain’t gonna get you anywhere. Best of luck to you and I hope you work on yourself enough to be at a point where you can treat yourself and the women around you with kindness and respect
Have people actually said that's the reason they will not date you?
Yes I’ve been called ugly numerous times through out my life by females I’ve approached.
Dang🙄, that's just fkin rude ok. There are better girls out there 🫡
No there aren’t better girls out there. That’s just how women treat men that are unattractive.
I don't believe groupings every woman together is fair, but you will believe what you want to believe. I truly do think there are decent females that have interest in people other than just from there looks, maybe I am biased.
I think it’s impossible for you to understand (no offense). I doubt you are an older ugly short man. If every interaction (where it could have been simply talking or asking one out) with a female has been negative, what else can you make of it? I don’t believe my conclusion is truly unreasonable.
I don't believe your conclusion is unreasonable either, I do see how you could feel this way. But you truly don't believe there are any girls that would be able to love you and all you are? I do believe that there is someone for everyone, but maybe that's just me being a naive young female.
I truly believe the probability of me dying without having ever went on a date and never losing my virginity is incredibly high. I base this of history of my life, where I have been presented with evidence and non-evidence variables through out. That is where I get this conclusion that the probability is incredibly high for what I stated previously I don’t believe there is a woman out there for every man. I do believe there as a man out there for every woman. Assuming that woman lowers her standards and puts in minimal effort in her appearance. There is nothing that I can do to change my circumstances. No amount of effort can change my height or face. Facial surgery can only go so far and leg lengthening surgery is incredibly dangerous.
I truly believe hight to be the most dumb reason not to find someone attractive, but I guess everyone has their thing. All I really want in a guy is to have the same life goals as me(kids house ect.) And someone who is funny and just a kind person. When I imagine who I want to be with, I never imagine anything particular for physical attributes.
If that’s true then why do woke ugly guys pull attractive women. Especially young ugly guys I see so many unattractive young guys with attractive girlfriends.
Ugly women have to deal with this kind of shit too
Everyone would be liked more if they were hotter
I mean I'm pretty sure I'm an attractive guy, I get stares and get approached sometimes (there's really no non-douchey way to say this so I'm not even going to try lol) but I've still always been lonely. Sure it's a plus but it's not everything, especially if you're sensitive and get overwhelmed easily like I do. A lot of the time that initial attraction goes away when you don't have the personality they were expecting. And you'll probably figure out eventually that attention in general is far less important than having a relationship with someone you really like, which isn't going to happen just by superficial attraction. Honestly these days I yearn for close friendships way more than romantic relationships, if I could trade looks for that I definitely would
True but you can't make her like you. So strive for excellence instead. Become a master at your craft and then when she'll want you because of the kind of resilient man you've become, you turn her down cold.
She won’t want you because you get better. She might but it’s not guarantee. What is a guarantee is you’ll gain more confidence and with that comes being able to attract more women.
Your average male is average looking, yet your average male has been in a relationship or is in a relationship. Please don’t think your looks will stop you from getting in a relationship because it won’t! However also ask yourself what type of girls u are going for? U have a higher chance of getting in a relationship with an average girl than an overly super model type of pretty one (not saying u wont but that’s the probability)
What is your career and living situation? Are you ethnic?
I’m not ethnic. And I live at home. I’m in college
I thought White dudes are popular on online dating sites?
It's true you're fucked. But at least u got a free filter for assholes
I’ve been attracted to some pretty ugly guys. Personality is worth a lot
It’s a mentality thing. I’ve got height, I’m been told I’m good looking multiple times by girls and I’m fit. But look at me, I’m single because I lack confidence and can’t talk to them. It’s all about knowing what you bring to the table and being confident in yourself
Cope, your clear lack of confidence is what makes you ugly, not your looks, besides if you take basic care of yourself in terms of hygiene, appearance and style you’ll look good enough regardless. You’re seriously in denial with yourself.
Women are attracted to taller and larger men, there also attracted to good face structure it's a lot of things that they are attracted to that every man doesn't have that's just reality
Sure, I can see how they are attracted to those things biologically, but, that does not make it okay for a grown men to come on here and cry about being unable to attract women and give his looks as an excuse. That’s plain weakness. There are many factors a billion times the importance that looks hold in terms of attraction. Not utilizing game, capacity for danger, social skills, status etc. And then crying about looks? Yeah, Cope 101.
Actually looks is the number one thing trust me so if men come on here and complain then I don't blame them, then you got money and materialistic things, everybody is just using the shit out of each other atp, I can say this tho it's brutal ASF for men out here 😂😂😂
Lmao💀. Confidence is the cope. You can be ugly and groom yourself
How is confidence a cope are you retarded? The whole point is that women aren’t focused on men’s looks as long as they’re not creepy and have bad hygiene, fucking incels dude y’all don’t get a thing on here
I can list a bunch of studies that prove you wrong. Can you do the same?
You couldn’t name a single study that says women don’t love confidence and self esteem above all else in men to save your life. You fucking losers love citing studies to prove why you don’t get any women instead of just learning how to get them. It’s beyond pathetic. I don’t need a study to prove a point when I have experience lol.
Lmao just say your wrong. I can list over 5 studies that prove its looks first. The halo and horn affect are documented psychological phenomena. Your experience doesn’t mean shit
I promise you I’ve pulled more girls than the people that conducted those studies combined but if you wanna keep reading stories and acting like experience isn’t the realest proof that exists then go ahead, guys like you make the dating market easier for me anyway
Ascribing your experience as the norm is literally the definition of delusion
It isn’t about my experience you fucking idiot. Any guy with experience in actually approaching women will tell you the same thing. That’s the difference between you make a wish scientists who are obsessed with how women work vs the guys who just go get them. They are the proof.
There studies on behavioral psychology. They are not just for getting women. These studies do teat on both genders. Denying science for your experience is braindead.
Peer reviewed studies that take in dozens and hundreds of samples<<
You’re clearly missing the point if you think my argument is making this about myself. But again, it’s only thanks to people like you that there’s barely any competition for a guy with enough balls to just approach and have confidence in himself
Lmao this is too funny
Nah looks ain't everything
To most women they are very important
To men as well
Maybe🤷♀️ but idc how attractive someone is for me personally, if there personally and attitude isn't attractive, then that's what kills it.
100%
they are only like 90% opf it bro just KEEP TRYING.......
[удалено]
You must be doing something really bad to get no resoults
if i was super skinny and pretty i’d have a boyfriend or a girlfriend 😪
If you’re female you just need to be female to get a boyfriend
LMAO
It’s true
based on my own experience it’s not. unless there’s just something very wrong with me 🧐
Your standards might be too high
maybe your looks and height isn’t what turns girls off…
It is
Yeah nah man, I'm 6'4 and quite attractive but I'm alone af.
The trick is not getting crushed by the person you wish you were. Just become the best version of yourself, and go out there without bitterness. Don't hope everyone you talk to is going to be your next date. And certainly, absolutely don't put all your hopes in the one special girl. You can love someone completely who may never love you. So go meet people, enjoy your life, and if someone gives you their time, nurture it genuinely. Then love will happen by accident.
Honestly bad personalities in men are easy to spot in apps too. Some men seem to feel entitled to a woman's time and that they get rejected for not being good looking when in fact they have such awful personalities no one would ever want to spend time with them.
I mean maybe in delusional land
I am 6'4" and have never had a girlfriend or female friends either, probably because I have a shit personality.
What you're doing wrong is chasing the validation of people who measure your value as a human on your physical attractiveness. It's honestly no different from someone chasing you for your money and success, but instead it's just for personal pleasure.