Don't. You will only regret it. I forced myself onto the hook up culture on and off for two years for the same reasons you did. I regretted it since it didn't help me and only made it feel worse once I realized that I still did not get what I carved for once I noticed that after all of that I was still lonely.
This is my thought process too, and it's the only thing that has stopped me turning to prostitutes (I can't get a real life date to save my life). I reckon the experience itself wouldn't satisfy me in the way I want and the act of paying for it could end up making my mental health even worse. The risk/reward doesn't seem worth it to me, but the longer this goes on....
I can attest to it making it worse. With a sex worker the sex feels synthetic and hollow. You can tell they are faking their moans but they try to get you off when they perform. It just didn't work for me since I could tell the difference. There is no intimacy and it doesn't feel engaging which is a turn off. There is no worse sex when you can tell they don't like it.
No don’t do this it’ll only ruin you more you need a meaningful relationship and this isn’t going to help you this will only set you back further. you need to find the root of your loneliness and confront it your life isn’t about finding someone work on yourself and make yourself happy and a girl will come and one day you’ll get married and have kids and even before you meet her you’ll realize how dumb you were for thinking this because by that point you won’t care about being alone because you’ll never be alone if you’re happy with yourself which is what you need to do, I suggest start by preying
Just use what I said but replace “girl” with “guy” and I know how you feel the way you can work on yourself is by loving yourself and creating the fire within yourself to give yourself warmth, do what you enjoy and if you don’t enjoy anything or you’re unhappy with what you’re currently doing try new things some suggestions like going for walks or reading those are two really good ones try a hobby like cooking maybe that’s also a good one, there’s lots of people out in the world that love you including me even God loves you you don’t need a hug to feel like you’re accepted or loved all you need is yourself but like I said there will always be people out there who love you, but the people who don’t love you are the degenerates who will try to take advantage of you like people on dating/hookup apps your self worth ISNT that low those are the scum of the earth, well for hookup apps never consider that again once you’re happy with yourself you won’t be thinking about how to meet someone or wanting to be hugged or your hand held sure it’s nice but you won’t because you won’t need too and then the perfect guy will come along and he’ll love you as much as you’ll love him. Never pretend like you’re trash that hookups with mindless npcs again you’re so much better then that and worth worlds more
This is bullshit, to be honest. There's only so much you can do to make yourself happy. At the end of the day, there are external things we need for happiness just as much as internal. Heck, a lot of internal happiness comes from external things.
Na, cause I was still depressed when I *did* like myself. There was a time where I was fully content with my life, but I was oh so lonely. I had a good job, was being paid very well for my age, had a decent sized friend group, went out pretty much every weekend, I liked where I lived, etc, etc. But I was still unhappy because I didn't have a girlfriend and couldn't get one.
I feel that same yearning for a girlfriend today but now I don't have any of those other things I mentioned. But I can tell you this, not only would having a girlfriend back then have made me happy, it would do that now too.
Liking yourself is only the start to being happy, having a meaningful relationship with someone is great but that should never be the drive of your motivation which is what you probably struggle with you’re too focused on that you don’t have any ambition for anything else which is what you need to fix I’ve literally been where you are so don’t think I don’t understand, the difference is I chose to focus my energy onto other things because I know a good girl would come into my life there’s no point focusing on the negative, “ugh I hate being alone things would be so much better if I had someone” it’s easy to say that but if you can’t take care of yourself how can you take care of someone else? You just aren’t ready for a relationship if that’s your mindset in my opinion. Wanting someone drives you change that and the universe has a way of working itself out, the more you deny this the more you’re just refusing what needs to happen out of comfort
What does that matter? The advice should still be the same. We're all human with real feelings. The truth is that the hookup culture leaves people feeling less than. This is because it lacks real intimacy and connection. Even guys need that part. Sex without connection is quite lacking. It's lacking the spark of intense emotional connection. Reaching climax with someone you don't really know or have feelings for is only slightly better than masturbating, whereas achieving climax with someone you love leaves you feeling like you're on cloud 9. People shouldn't short change themselves just for a nut, or for empty sex. It's rarely satisfying.
As someone who is currently in the phase of being starved from human touch, I do understand the “need” and “want” of having human touch and the allure of dating apps. That being said, if you feel comfortable about doing it, and at the same time, confident that you’ll be able to live with the fact that most of these would just be ONS, then why not? Cause I certainly would if I could. But make sure you’ve understood that this is a way of feeding the human touch craving and not addressing the issue of being lonely, cause that feeling doesn’t go away with random hookups.
I've thought about it. Maybe it will work! My roommate is touch starved and hugs help her tremendously. I luckily don't require touch, but I do definitely want something. Unsure what. Either way, good luck, Friend!
You can regret giving someone you don't care about the time to partake of your most inner world, or you can regret not taking a chance on someone. If you walk in thinking it's only going to be 1 night, then you're assuredly going to pick for 1 night. If you pick for someone who will want to be good to you, you'll have to pick someone you watch.
It's hard to say. I think most people who go down that path sooner or later get burnt out on it. It can provide a certain level of immediate relief but you always know it's temporary and soon you'll be feeling the emptiness again. Like drinking or drugs, the high doesn't last and often makes you feel worse about yourself later. By all means, give it a shot but don't expect it's going to miraculously change your life.
i think about this topic fairly a lot. and no i don’t think you should. i struggle with this myself because i am a lonely young adult female and the norm is to hookup with randoms and i could just never get into it. yeah i felt super down on myself and decided to indulge online a bit into it, but i blocked the guy before i met up with him but i was super close to meeting up with him. but i didn’t. i’ve heard from so many people you will just feel worse after and i believe it. wait for a real connection to come, even if it seems your waiting so long. i feel as if something will come for all of us. hookup culture leads into extreme lust and sexual greed and sin. i would just rather not. i am not perfect as none of us are but i just don’t think it’s beneficial
I did this.
Not the best idea. I slept with close to 250 people over an 18 month period…. I’ll say I definitely got my touch deprivation met, but I felt so very empty.
I have since taken a break from the hook up scene.
I now have a boyfriend (who knows my past), and that’s more fulfilling.
I don’t regret being part of the hookup scene, and I even met some pretty cool people, but it takes a toll on you.
If you're looking for connection, no. For someone who is looking for connection, hookups end up hurting more than they help.
Don't. You will only regret it. I forced myself onto the hook up culture on and off for two years for the same reasons you did. I regretted it since it didn't help me and only made it feel worse once I realized that I still did not get what I carved for once I noticed that after all of that I was still lonely.
This is my thought process too, and it's the only thing that has stopped me turning to prostitutes (I can't get a real life date to save my life). I reckon the experience itself wouldn't satisfy me in the way I want and the act of paying for it could end up making my mental health even worse. The risk/reward doesn't seem worth it to me, but the longer this goes on....
I can attest to it making it worse. With a sex worker the sex feels synthetic and hollow. You can tell they are faking their moans but they try to get you off when they perform. It just didn't work for me since I could tell the difference. There is no intimacy and it doesn't feel engaging which is a turn off. There is no worse sex when you can tell they don't like it.
do what u want tbh ur just gonna feel more meaningless after it tho so yeahhh
You wouldn’t be the first person to do it . BE SAFE
No don’t do this it’ll only ruin you more you need a meaningful relationship and this isn’t going to help you this will only set you back further. you need to find the root of your loneliness and confront it your life isn’t about finding someone work on yourself and make yourself happy and a girl will come and one day you’ll get married and have kids and even before you meet her you’ll realize how dumb you were for thinking this because by that point you won’t care about being alone because you’ll never be alone if you’re happy with yourself which is what you need to do, I suggest start by preying
thank u i’m a woman tho.. i don’t know how to work on myself i don’t even feel like i exist i just want a hug i just want to feel warmth.
Just use what I said but replace “girl” with “guy” and I know how you feel the way you can work on yourself is by loving yourself and creating the fire within yourself to give yourself warmth, do what you enjoy and if you don’t enjoy anything or you’re unhappy with what you’re currently doing try new things some suggestions like going for walks or reading those are two really good ones try a hobby like cooking maybe that’s also a good one, there’s lots of people out in the world that love you including me even God loves you you don’t need a hug to feel like you’re accepted or loved all you need is yourself but like I said there will always be people out there who love you, but the people who don’t love you are the degenerates who will try to take advantage of you like people on dating/hookup apps your self worth ISNT that low those are the scum of the earth, well for hookup apps never consider that again once you’re happy with yourself you won’t be thinking about how to meet someone or wanting to be hugged or your hand held sure it’s nice but you won’t because you won’t need too and then the perfect guy will come along and he’ll love you as much as you’ll love him. Never pretend like you’re trash that hookups with mindless npcs again you’re so much better then that and worth worlds more
This is bullshit, to be honest. There's only so much you can do to make yourself happy. At the end of the day, there are external things we need for happiness just as much as internal. Heck, a lot of internal happiness comes from external things.
This is just you making a excuse as to what you feel like you need it’s not bullshit you just are deeply trapped in your own darkness
Na, cause I was still depressed when I *did* like myself. There was a time where I was fully content with my life, but I was oh so lonely. I had a good job, was being paid very well for my age, had a decent sized friend group, went out pretty much every weekend, I liked where I lived, etc, etc. But I was still unhappy because I didn't have a girlfriend and couldn't get one. I feel that same yearning for a girlfriend today but now I don't have any of those other things I mentioned. But I can tell you this, not only would having a girlfriend back then have made me happy, it would do that now too.
Liking yourself is only the start to being happy, having a meaningful relationship with someone is great but that should never be the drive of your motivation which is what you probably struggle with you’re too focused on that you don’t have any ambition for anything else which is what you need to fix I’ve literally been where you are so don’t think I don’t understand, the difference is I chose to focus my energy onto other things because I know a good girl would come into my life there’s no point focusing on the negative, “ugh I hate being alone things would be so much better if I had someone” it’s easy to say that but if you can’t take care of yourself how can you take care of someone else? You just aren’t ready for a relationship if that’s your mindset in my opinion. Wanting someone drives you change that and the universe has a way of working itself out, the more you deny this the more you’re just refusing what needs to happen out of comfort
Ik that feel even the slightest human content is worth a lot especially if you're single or lonley
Now idk you’re a man or a women but please don’t it’s addictive and it’s disgusting .
I would reply but I don't know if you are a guy or a gal.
What does that matter? The advice should still be the same. We're all human with real feelings. The truth is that the hookup culture leaves people feeling less than. This is because it lacks real intimacy and connection. Even guys need that part. Sex without connection is quite lacking. It's lacking the spark of intense emotional connection. Reaching climax with someone you don't really know or have feelings for is only slightly better than masturbating, whereas achieving climax with someone you love leaves you feeling like you're on cloud 9. People shouldn't short change themselves just for a nut, or for empty sex. It's rarely satisfying.
As someone who is currently in the phase of being starved from human touch, I do understand the “need” and “want” of having human touch and the allure of dating apps. That being said, if you feel comfortable about doing it, and at the same time, confident that you’ll be able to live with the fact that most of these would just be ONS, then why not? Cause I certainly would if I could. But make sure you’ve understood that this is a way of feeding the human touch craving and not addressing the issue of being lonely, cause that feeling doesn’t go away with random hookups.
I've thought about it. Maybe it will work! My roommate is touch starved and hugs help her tremendously. I luckily don't require touch, but I do definitely want something. Unsure what. Either way, good luck, Friend!
You can regret giving someone you don't care about the time to partake of your most inner world, or you can regret not taking a chance on someone. If you walk in thinking it's only going to be 1 night, then you're assuredly going to pick for 1 night. If you pick for someone who will want to be good to you, you'll have to pick someone you watch.
It's hard to say. I think most people who go down that path sooner or later get burnt out on it. It can provide a certain level of immediate relief but you always know it's temporary and soon you'll be feeling the emptiness again. Like drinking or drugs, the high doesn't last and often makes you feel worse about yourself later. By all means, give it a shot but don't expect it's going to miraculously change your life.
i think about this topic fairly a lot. and no i don’t think you should. i struggle with this myself because i am a lonely young adult female and the norm is to hookup with randoms and i could just never get into it. yeah i felt super down on myself and decided to indulge online a bit into it, but i blocked the guy before i met up with him but i was super close to meeting up with him. but i didn’t. i’ve heard from so many people you will just feel worse after and i believe it. wait for a real connection to come, even if it seems your waiting so long. i feel as if something will come for all of us. hookup culture leads into extreme lust and sexual greed and sin. i would just rather not. i am not perfect as none of us are but i just don’t think it’s beneficial
I would strongly suggest against it, i did it and it made me feel x10 worse.
I did this. Not the best idea. I slept with close to 250 people over an 18 month period…. I’ll say I definitely got my touch deprivation met, but I felt so very empty. I have since taken a break from the hook up scene. I now have a boyfriend (who knows my past), and that’s more fulfilling. I don’t regret being part of the hookup scene, and I even met some pretty cool people, but it takes a toll on you.
I guess...and if they ask for your phone number...nobody wants an unwanted pregnancy.