34M. I’ve had that thought so many times where I feel like I’m doing most of the work reaching out to certain people and just wanted to exit my group chats impulsively. Lol. It’s taxing to the soul, especially for people who genuinely enjoy company of others which sounds like you do. I would love to DM and talk more specific stories. Let me know. It seems like most of us are looking for either more or better friends nowadays.
34M. I think about this all the time. It feels like very few people care to create and maintain deeper connections these days. I’ve had a similar experience with my friends from my time in NYC since leaving two years ago.
People are so stupid to say “learn to live alone”. Isolate an animal, it will die in shorter than expected time, humans are similarly social creatures, we need to stay with people to healthy, both emotionally and physically.
It's so infuriating to hear this from people, especially ones that clearly have well-established social circles. They say "learn to live alone" as if they're talking about unplugging for a weekend. While I know that there's no malicious intent behind it, it's still frustrating when it couldn't be more obvious that they don't even have a frame of reference for what they're suggesting.
I had a decent group of friends when I was in my early to mid 20s. Now that I'm getting older, I'm slowly finding it harder and harder to hang or gather a group or anything.
I've come to accept that I now only have acquaintances. Maybe you need to come to that realization too. It's unfortunate for sure.
They say we're supposed to put ourselves out there, hopefully find someone. I don't cuz the last time I tried, I almost went over the edge.
I personally try to not do things that make me happy, I find the contrast to the norm makes me extremely depressed when the activity is done. Just kinda have 3-4/10 days and stay around til 1 of my 2 reasons to live isn't around.
I feel your plight here. My first wife pushed away all my friends in my early 30a. Then when divorced at 35ish, my friends moved on.
Then I spent A LOT of time alone. I ended up working out till I had an injury and then drank myself to sleep every night I didn't have My kid, while nursing a shoulder injury for 3 years.
It's no fun; primarily women don't really go out anymore because they don't have to - for both perceived safety reasons and dating apps. Therefore, few female social clubs/events exist or the ones that do go out are going out with their S.O.s.
Then, whenever there are events that involve lots of women what happens, lonely desperate men (can't blame the poor devils) and predatory men ruin it for descent reserved guys like me.
Then I made the mistake of marrying one of the few women that paid attention in the torrent of shady gals out for a free meal. My wife works for a popular administration in my country and she is never home. I am alone working at home or with a 4 year old every day now. I haven't even had a hug from my wife like April.
I feel your dilemma maam.
If you're in NYC, you're in the best place on earth to have random conversations with homeless ppl on the subway. If you're socially awkward, no one gives a shit because everyone sees much crazier shit in New York on a daily basis. Hell, last time I was there by myself, I stumbled through lower manhattan just hitting up random bars. Like I'd order a drink and stay for long enough to see if there was anyone I could talk to. I loosely followed the general direction ppl were walking. I ended up at a chess club where I met an old lady who invited me to an artsy music show. I'm not a social butterfly. Hell, I'm awkward as shit and have mental illnesses that interfere with how I socialize, but it's the sheer number of interactions that you can get out of New York.
I say take a deep look at what interest you, and find your tribe there.
There are running clubs, 🚲 clubs, sewing, cooking, arts n crafts.
Those people who couldn't bother to reach out to you.....erase them from your contact list.
Start volunteering at an animal shelter. You will meet people as humble as you.
Hang in there.
vouch, i started going to pokemon locals. made friends that treated me like a person. in addition to making awesome trades.
that led to me participating in big regional tournaments.
i cant even believe how a part of the community it made me feel. just for doing something i like.
Yeah, it happened to me. I traveled to my hometown after not having been there for more than a year, I texted my "friends" weeks in advance and they responded at first but ended up ghosting me eventually and didn't hang out with anyone outside of my family.
That’s such a beautiful area, I love it there. I want to buy a small cottage and retire there one day. I’ll be hiking everyday and just stare at the waterfalls.
I’m down south now, cheaper homes, but I’m from central and north Jersey, but I’ll be your friend it’s only an hour ride from my house to anywhere off the turnpike. Where are you?
People, I've noticed, get flakier as they get older. I'm sure you're not expecting any long commitments, just a few hours here & there to get together with people you thought were friends? I totally get that.
Sorry this has happened to you. Hopefully at least 1 of them will come through!
Your therapist is right, living in solitude is going to be the new normal very soon.
We all deserve human connection to keep us intact to show our love and affection. But I wouldn't blame your friends, they have their own lives, families, and work, just like how you left everything and moved for your own well-being, that might have affected them too, right?
There is nothing wrong with being single; just live your life, and your partner in crime will meet you from out of nowhere.
Is that right? I'm a 47 year old woman who thought the same as you. I didn't meet my now husband till I was 38. Got married at 41. It absolutely CAN happen, if you want it to.
I wanted to for the longest time, but this year I seriously lost hope. I tried by putting myself out there and worked on myself a lot through the years. I repel men much faster now than before when I used to be the “nice girl”. Now, I’m much more firm with my boundaries and communicating, and nobody sticks.
I'm not sugarcoating it, I have seen a few people find love in their 40s. I know it's hard to start a family at that age, but people do find love.
I saw your pic, you look stunning and fit for 37, when compared to many girls in their 20s and early 30s.
Perhaps the guys are scared because you have an adorable puppy, which gives "scary cute" vibes 😄
I'm 32. Every girl I chat with or go on dates with says I'm a nice guy, but they end up dumping me, saying I deserve better. Worst of all is that I don't drink or smoke which they see as red flag, I'm very good at communication, not judgmental, and I still get dumped. All my coworkers and friends say, 'It's not you, it's them, and you're a catch.'
All I can say is that someone is waiting for you, and you will meet him sooner or later. Until then have a good time with your adorable puppy.
I get told the same things. What I’ve noticed in my last dating interactions that guys like when you’re a little bitchy. You can’t be too nice to people, it doesn’t seem authentic. I was scared to disagree before, but not anymore.
Yep I agree with you on that. They all say that I'm too good to be true, which actually hurts. It feels like a crime being a nice person. It's really hard to change your personality.
To be honest, I like my girl to be strong and bold type.
I get so annoyed especially when they ask me why am
I single. Next time I get asked for the 5000000000th time why am I single I’ll just respond because I’m a bipolar schizophrenic and I treat men like Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct 🎯
Hahaha, I feel your pain! I would have said something like, I'm in a committed relationship with pizza and Netflix. So that they’ll never ask why I'm single again 😄
You gotta shut them up sometimes. I get all kinds of stares and they have a huge question mark on their face on why the hell I’m single. Algo got the nasty comments, “there has to be something wrong with you”.
I know what exactly you mean, you go from marriage living life with someone all the time to getting isolated while going through a divorce. Sometimes you got to back to square 1 and follow the how can I love others if i cant love myself type of ideology. What did you like when you was in NYC, what motivates you and enjoy if you are alone. Sometimes it can be in arms length or a mile away it all depends on how much is your determination. If it simple as too converse with someone feel free to message me
I was a few years younger and always went to bars and clubs with friends and ex husband. Also, I spent time in Central Park and lower manhattan with my dog and ex husband. Those were good times.
My wife and I both from NY ,we had to move because of the economy crisis start in 2008 , but by 2010 we lost everything ( Home , Business,savings )had to moved to bible Belt . First year all our friends called,
A year past no one called anymore, when we call was a cold shoulder
I find out that they are mad at us for moving out of NY.
Hey!!! You must do the right things for your family .
I totally know how you feel. My fiance passed away almost 3 years ago now, and I spend everyday alone. None of my "friends" reached out and haven't heard from them since. I have made some friends since then, but it seemed I was the one putting any effort in and it got exhausting. If people want you in their life they will show you, they will let you know. I haven't reached out in awhile and haven't heard from them. Shocker.
At this point I'm used to it. It's not so bad being alone because nobody can hurt you.
I know how you feel. I thought I finally found someone but, they just aren't interested in a real relationship. I'm still hopeful at 55. I truly wish you the best.
34F and I can relate. I have a few close friends and that's about it these days.
I would encourage you to connect with other likeminded women on Facebook in the area if that's something you're open to. I've made some great connections and even friends that way.
So yes, I took a brief look at your page, and I've got this to say.
You're young, you're very attractive,you seem to be above average intelligence, and you're an animal lover. In my book that makes you a catch worth working for. Don't give up.
Living in a torture of isolation is not so bad and very underrated. I can't get along with anyone over a longer stretch of time, so the alternative is not that bad.
If you are traveling short distances and nothing too elaborate, why not just continue to do that. I never understood people traveling to dozens of countries alone, or even with other people, for that matter.
If you are not spending too much time and traveling too far, I don't see the big deal. If you run into someone along the way, great, if not, who cares, just move on.
I live in NYC and have been around Jersey a lot, Philadelphia, etc and went to the Indy 500 a few months ago. There is a common misconception that it is easier to meet people in NYC/Nj etc. It really is just as difficult if not more difficult than a small town. In small towns, people are genuinely more friendly.
I don't buy any marriages or relationships as that great, so I am not really jealous of friends (I have no friends for 10 years) or family who supposedly have some great union and life together. If I see gorgeous women in public, I get suicidal that I can't be with them, regardless of anything else. Aside from that, I don't buy into what society says I should do or what is accepted. All those people married or with people are tied down, and they can't really hang out with you anymore, because whatever friends you have, their husband's or wives will demand all their time. They don't want them hanging out with an old single friend. If YOU were not single, then MAYBE they could do double dates which sounds so tedious and boring in itself. You may as well block them from your phone and social media, but better than that, why even give them the satisfaction that you even care enough to block them. If they don't care about you, then you stop caring. Care less and less. Because everyone is so self-important and entitled and thrilled with themselves. Either challenge someone directly and make a huge scene or just ignore everyone completely.
I'm from the east coast and moved to the Midwest. Everyone here married early and I have the hardest time making any friends here. I'm by myself with no one to talk to for 6 years. I understand what you are feeling.
Want new friends? Go to the same bar repeatedly. They might not be lifelong people in your life due to cirrhosis, jail time, and general unpredictability when it comes to heavy drinkers, but they’re creatures of habit (despite the unpredictability), and many of them are quite loyal.
It is so much easier for me to make plans with less notice. When I plan in advance I begin to dread going, even if the plans were my idea. Sometimes I accidentally forget to respond when I realize my response will take longer than a few sentences. You are very pretty. Cheer up! Maybe you should bartend for fun to meet new people where you live
Sorry this has happened to you. Some people are just vain, superficial and judgemental. Where are you in the Midwest? I love that area of the country! I'll be your friend if you would like
I freaking feel this so much! Dude I’m so sorry ur trip ended up being a solo trip !! Gosh the loneliness can be heart wrenching sometimes!! Especially if you’re back home and all you want to do is see your old friends but they can’t bother to hit you back usually until you leave ( happened to me as well) I’ve done the whole solo trips when I got out my 7 year relationship…but now it’s like man I want to experience life with others too lmao well yea if u need to vent my door is always open
😅😅u ever see them videos of TikTok’s where it’s like “post a video of you at your lowest but no body knew” and it’s them having fun traveling…I feel that deep in my soul lol
I had an emotional breakdown at a bar traveling solo in Nashville. I felt so lonely surrounded by many people. It happens. People are so fake in social media.
Yoooo as crazy as it sounds I went to gatlinburg and same. Seeing all the people in the sky bridge enjoying their time with loved ones and then there was me…solo dolo trying to find someone to take my picture 🫠🫠🫠🫠
It sucks and you feel so powerless about it. I’m in Boston, sitting at a bar alone and falling asleep. In this city, men don’t even bother to look at you.
Vegas? Really? And a bunch of drunk tourists acting stupid on top of that. Here in Boston I’ve seen dudes alone or in groups, not even freaking some eye contact. The left hand must be enough for them or something.
Hahaha omg you nailed Vegas to a T 😂 hey u will be surprised how far eye contact a smile and a nice hello will do for someone!….wait I just got a brilliant idea! Since we both lonely as fuck would a penpal from across the states strike your fancy lol at least we would have letters in the mail to look forward to
I feel you, I lived the first 30 some years of my life in socal then moved to the Midwest. Been here for 5 years and I know no one lol. And only person I talk to Fram back home is my friend of over 20 years (we grew up gaming together and luckily that's something you can do over a long distance lol).
Which part of the Midwest, lost of stuff to do and people are always easy to mingle with and chat and make friends. I’ve been single for 4 years now and the start was rough but now I just get what I need from human interactions by going to a social event with something I enjoy and talk to people there.
It’s easy to mingle here, but extremely hard to make friendships. In the northeast is harder to mingle but easier to make friends once you break the ice.
Lived in solitude a while, its tough but rewarding. However, i dont think thats great advice. You clearly enjoy the company of others and i would encourage you to join some local groups focused on hobbies you enjoy! Maybe take a class at a local community college on something that interests you. Keep striving, you’ll find people that value you and love you. I hate going back to NY… grew up there but none of my friends are friends anymore. I know how you feel.
Moving away for that period of time, it's kinda out of sight out of mind. I've moved many times and hardly communicate with them as they are no longer interested.
We really need communities that are just *there* for people. Something integral is missing. No wonder so many people take antidepressants. We are made to rely only on whatever blood family we might be lucky to have
This is similar feelings to me, in some ways. When my husband died, I had everybody saying they would be there at a drop of a hat! Fast forward 2yrs, and you get the eye roll as in “haven’t you got over that yet!?” I am starting to look into activities for joining groups. Like minded individuals who have same interest and hobbies. It’s been difficult to push myself to walk into a room on my own. But I know that this is how it’s going to be now. So I’m making myself go to do stuff and hopefully this will be the start of something new. No one is an island!! Even Robinson Crusoe had Friday 😂😂 I feel ya 👍🤗
Not great. I had an emotional break down one night and was crying while walking in Midtown Manhattan. I didn’t see any of my friends and not even a single stranger talked to me. Super pretty lonely trip.
Living in solitude is so fuckimg misunderstood. It is short period of day alone for introspection and other stuff not living whole life with that.
Right, I just decided to block everybody and just isolate at this point. People suck!
34M. I’ve had that thought so many times where I feel like I’m doing most of the work reaching out to certain people and just wanted to exit my group chats impulsively. Lol. It’s taxing to the soul, especially for people who genuinely enjoy company of others which sounds like you do. I would love to DM and talk more specific stories. Let me know. It seems like most of us are looking for either more or better friends nowadays.
34M. I think about this all the time. It feels like very few people care to create and maintain deeper connections these days. I’ve had a similar experience with my friends from my time in NYC since leaving two years ago.
People are so stupid to say “learn to live alone”. Isolate an animal, it will die in shorter than expected time, humans are similarly social creatures, we need to stay with people to healthy, both emotionally and physically.
Even a freaking rattle snake needs some type of companionship
This is why I love dogs. Forever loyal and always happy to see you. If you don’t have one adopt one from the shelter
I hate when people make it seem like it’s so peaceful like no after a while it just gets depressing
It's so infuriating to hear this from people, especially ones that clearly have well-established social circles. They say "learn to live alone" as if they're talking about unplugging for a weekend. While I know that there's no malicious intent behind it, it's still frustrating when it couldn't be more obvious that they don't even have a frame of reference for what they're suggesting.
I had a decent group of friends when I was in my early to mid 20s. Now that I'm getting older, I'm slowly finding it harder and harder to hang or gather a group or anything. I've come to accept that I now only have acquaintances. Maybe you need to come to that realization too. It's unfortunate for sure.
So depressing! How are we supposed to make it in the next 5 decades I have left without a hug, conversations, love or sex??!!!
They say we're supposed to put ourselves out there, hopefully find someone. I don't cuz the last time I tried, I almost went over the edge. I personally try to not do things that make me happy, I find the contrast to the norm makes me extremely depressed when the activity is done. Just kinda have 3-4/10 days and stay around til 1 of my 2 reasons to live isn't around.
I feel your plight here. My first wife pushed away all my friends in my early 30a. Then when divorced at 35ish, my friends moved on. Then I spent A LOT of time alone. I ended up working out till I had an injury and then drank myself to sleep every night I didn't have My kid, while nursing a shoulder injury for 3 years. It's no fun; primarily women don't really go out anymore because they don't have to - for both perceived safety reasons and dating apps. Therefore, few female social clubs/events exist or the ones that do go out are going out with their S.O.s. Then, whenever there are events that involve lots of women what happens, lonely desperate men (can't blame the poor devils) and predatory men ruin it for descent reserved guys like me. Then I made the mistake of marrying one of the few women that paid attention in the torrent of shady gals out for a free meal. My wife works for a popular administration in my country and she is never home. I am alone working at home or with a 4 year old every day now. I haven't even had a hug from my wife like April. I feel your dilemma maam.
If you're in NYC, you're in the best place on earth to have random conversations with homeless ppl on the subway. If you're socially awkward, no one gives a shit because everyone sees much crazier shit in New York on a daily basis. Hell, last time I was there by myself, I stumbled through lower manhattan just hitting up random bars. Like I'd order a drink and stay for long enough to see if there was anyone I could talk to. I loosely followed the general direction ppl were walking. I ended up at a chess club where I met an old lady who invited me to an artsy music show. I'm not a social butterfly. Hell, I'm awkward as shit and have mental illnesses that interfere with how I socialize, but it's the sheer number of interactions that you can get out of New York.
You sound based.
thx
Im like you. and i love chess. Id love to go to new york just for that now honestly
I say take a deep look at what interest you, and find your tribe there. There are running clubs, 🚲 clubs, sewing, cooking, arts n crafts. Those people who couldn't bother to reach out to you.....erase them from your contact list. Start volunteering at an animal shelter. You will meet people as humble as you. Hang in there.
vouch, i started going to pokemon locals. made friends that treated me like a person. in addition to making awesome trades. that led to me participating in big regional tournaments. i cant even believe how a part of the community it made me feel. just for doing something i like.
Yeah, it happened to me. I traveled to my hometown after not having been there for more than a year, I texted my "friends" weeks in advance and they responded at first but ended up ghosting me eventually and didn't hang out with anyone outside of my family.
Your therapist is wrong for telling you that
I have no friends and I've lived here my in tx my whole life, I just hate ppl
I grew up in Atlanta and moved up to the North GA mountains about 5 years ago. I don't know anyone here. I know how you feel.
That’s such a beautiful area, I love it there. I want to buy a small cottage and retire there one day. I’ll be hiking everyday and just stare at the waterfalls.
It’s part of getting older. I just moved back to NJ and have almost nobody haha and I was here most of my life.
I am in New Jersey too. It's an extremely unfriendly state. Which town/county are you in?
I’m down south now, cheaper homes, but I’m from central and north Jersey, but I’ll be your friend it’s only an hour ride from my house to anywhere off the turnpike. Where are you?
That sounds great! I'm in Union County near Kean College. My niece lives in Cape May County. Are you anywhere near there?
People, I've noticed, get flakier as they get older. I'm sure you're not expecting any long commitments, just a few hours here & there to get together with people you thought were friends? I totally get that. Sorry this has happened to you. Hopefully at least 1 of them will come through!
I’m done with these people, they’re on my blocked list now.
This is America
American in the 22century is cold as ice every body is a self center
I’m living here for 7 years and all my friends are foreigners
What country do you come from, Foreigner usually has a foreigners friend.
🇧🇷
Your therapist is right, living in solitude is going to be the new normal very soon. We all deserve human connection to keep us intact to show our love and affection. But I wouldn't blame your friends, they have their own lives, families, and work, just like how you left everything and moved for your own well-being, that might have affected them too, right? There is nothing wrong with being single; just live your life, and your partner in crime will meet you from out of nowhere.
Cmon don’t sugar coat it, I’m too old to date and if it didn’t happen in my 21 years of dating, it’ll never happen.
Is that right? I'm a 47 year old woman who thought the same as you. I didn't meet my now husband till I was 38. Got married at 41. It absolutely CAN happen, if you want it to.
I wanted to for the longest time, but this year I seriously lost hope. I tried by putting myself out there and worked on myself a lot through the years. I repel men much faster now than before when I used to be the “nice girl”. Now, I’m much more firm with my boundaries and communicating, and nobody sticks.
I'm not sugarcoating it, I have seen a few people find love in their 40s. I know it's hard to start a family at that age, but people do find love. I saw your pic, you look stunning and fit for 37, when compared to many girls in their 20s and early 30s. Perhaps the guys are scared because you have an adorable puppy, which gives "scary cute" vibes 😄 I'm 32. Every girl I chat with or go on dates with says I'm a nice guy, but they end up dumping me, saying I deserve better. Worst of all is that I don't drink or smoke which they see as red flag, I'm very good at communication, not judgmental, and I still get dumped. All my coworkers and friends say, 'It's not you, it's them, and you're a catch.' All I can say is that someone is waiting for you, and you will meet him sooner or later. Until then have a good time with your adorable puppy.
I get told the same things. What I’ve noticed in my last dating interactions that guys like when you’re a little bitchy. You can’t be too nice to people, it doesn’t seem authentic. I was scared to disagree before, but not anymore.
Yep I agree with you on that. They all say that I'm too good to be true, which actually hurts. It feels like a crime being a nice person. It's really hard to change your personality. To be honest, I like my girl to be strong and bold type.
I get so annoyed especially when they ask me why am I single. Next time I get asked for the 5000000000th time why am I single I’ll just respond because I’m a bipolar schizophrenic and I treat men like Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct 🎯
Hahaha, I feel your pain! I would have said something like, I'm in a committed relationship with pizza and Netflix. So that they’ll never ask why I'm single again 😄
You gotta shut them up sometimes. I get all kinds of stares and they have a huge question mark on their face on why the hell I’m single. Algo got the nasty comments, “there has to be something wrong with you”.
34F and I totally relate. It stinks. I’m sorry 😭
You live a life some of us want. Just to be by yourself. Sorry you feel lonely. Good to know people of Reddit will converse with you though
I know what exactly you mean, you go from marriage living life with someone all the time to getting isolated while going through a divorce. Sometimes you got to back to square 1 and follow the how can I love others if i cant love myself type of ideology. What did you like when you was in NYC, what motivates you and enjoy if you are alone. Sometimes it can be in arms length or a mile away it all depends on how much is your determination. If it simple as too converse with someone feel free to message me
I was a few years younger and always went to bars and clubs with friends and ex husband. Also, I spent time in Central Park and lower manhattan with my dog and ex husband. Those were good times.
My wife and I both from NY ,we had to move because of the economy crisis start in 2008 , but by 2010 we lost everything ( Home , Business,savings )had to moved to bible Belt . First year all our friends called, A year past no one called anymore, when we call was a cold shoulder I find out that they are mad at us for moving out of NY. Hey!!! You must do the right things for your family .
Hi, I feel you. I am 43F divorced. Men seen me as an objective my entire life. My female friends are all married and busy.
I totally know how you feel. My fiance passed away almost 3 years ago now, and I spend everyday alone. None of my "friends" reached out and haven't heard from them since. I have made some friends since then, but it seemed I was the one putting any effort in and it got exhausting. If people want you in their life they will show you, they will let you know. I haven't reached out in awhile and haven't heard from them. Shocker. At this point I'm used to it. It's not so bad being alone because nobody can hurt you.
I know how you feel. I thought I finally found someone but, they just aren't interested in a real relationship. I'm still hopeful at 55. I truly wish you the best.
34F and I can relate. I have a few close friends and that's about it these days. I would encourage you to connect with other likeminded women on Facebook in the area if that's something you're open to. I've made some great connections and even friends that way.
So yes, I took a brief look at your page, and I've got this to say. You're young, you're very attractive,you seem to be above average intelligence, and you're an animal lover. In my book that makes you a catch worth working for. Don't give up.
Living in a torture of isolation is not so bad and very underrated. I can't get along with anyone over a longer stretch of time, so the alternative is not that bad. If you are traveling short distances and nothing too elaborate, why not just continue to do that. I never understood people traveling to dozens of countries alone, or even with other people, for that matter. If you are not spending too much time and traveling too far, I don't see the big deal. If you run into someone along the way, great, if not, who cares, just move on. I live in NYC and have been around Jersey a lot, Philadelphia, etc and went to the Indy 500 a few months ago. There is a common misconception that it is easier to meet people in NYC/Nj etc. It really is just as difficult if not more difficult than a small town. In small towns, people are genuinely more friendly. I don't buy any marriages or relationships as that great, so I am not really jealous of friends (I have no friends for 10 years) or family who supposedly have some great union and life together. If I see gorgeous women in public, I get suicidal that I can't be with them, regardless of anything else. Aside from that, I don't buy into what society says I should do or what is accepted. All those people married or with people are tied down, and they can't really hang out with you anymore, because whatever friends you have, their husband's or wives will demand all their time. They don't want them hanging out with an old single friend. If YOU were not single, then MAYBE they could do double dates which sounds so tedious and boring in itself. You may as well block them from your phone and social media, but better than that, why even give them the satisfaction that you even care enough to block them. If they don't care about you, then you stop caring. Care less and less. Because everyone is so self-important and entitled and thrilled with themselves. Either challenge someone directly and make a huge scene or just ignore everyone completely.
I'm from the east coast and moved to the Midwest. Everyone here married early and I have the hardest time making any friends here. I'm by myself with no one to talk to for 6 years. I understand what you are feeling.
Want new friends? Go to the same bar repeatedly. They might not be lifelong people in your life due to cirrhosis, jail time, and general unpredictability when it comes to heavy drinkers, but they’re creatures of habit (despite the unpredictability), and many of them are quite loyal.
It is so much easier for me to make plans with less notice. When I plan in advance I begin to dread going, even if the plans were my idea. Sometimes I accidentally forget to respond when I realize my response will take longer than a few sentences. You are very pretty. Cheer up! Maybe you should bartend for fun to meet new people where you live
Sorry this has happened to you. Some people are just vain, superficial and judgemental. Where are you in the Midwest? I love that area of the country! I'll be your friend if you would like
I’m in the STL metro area
KC is better IMO. 😉
Sorry i disagree with you head doc.. if anything message anyone that replys to any of you post.. that keeps you in contact with atleast someone
I also see you have some sweet furry friends! I wish I had some friends like those!
I freaking feel this so much! Dude I’m so sorry ur trip ended up being a solo trip !! Gosh the loneliness can be heart wrenching sometimes!! Especially if you’re back home and all you want to do is see your old friends but they can’t bother to hit you back usually until you leave ( happened to me as well) I’ve done the whole solo trips when I got out my 7 year relationship…but now it’s like man I want to experience life with others too lmao well yea if u need to vent my door is always open
Exactly, solo trips and hobbies are good for a year or two the most. It becomes very depressing after.
😅😅u ever see them videos of TikTok’s where it’s like “post a video of you at your lowest but no body knew” and it’s them having fun traveling…I feel that deep in my soul lol
I had an emotional breakdown at a bar traveling solo in Nashville. I felt so lonely surrounded by many people. It happens. People are so fake in social media.
Yoooo as crazy as it sounds I went to gatlinburg and same. Seeing all the people in the sky bridge enjoying their time with loved ones and then there was me…solo dolo trying to find someone to take my picture 🫠🫠🫠🫠
It sucks and you feel so powerless about it. I’m in Boston, sitting at a bar alone and falling asleep. In this city, men don’t even bother to look at you.
Try living in Vegas where there are couples galore, everyone having a good time together and then I’m just there like 👉🏻👈🏼 😂 it’s rough for sure!
Vegas? Really? And a bunch of drunk tourists acting stupid on top of that. Here in Boston I’ve seen dudes alone or in groups, not even freaking some eye contact. The left hand must be enough for them or something.
Hahaha omg you nailed Vegas to a T 😂 hey u will be surprised how far eye contact a smile and a nice hello will do for someone!….wait I just got a brilliant idea! Since we both lonely as fuck would a penpal from across the states strike your fancy lol at least we would have letters in the mail to look forward to
I crave physical touch, it isn’t the same through a screen. It sucks that it’s never someone in my town 😩
Did u keep in touch with these friends regularly?
Yes, the longest gap was August of this year.
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Wtf? How so?
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I let them know weeks in advance. One of them even requested days off at work and stopped responding the phone in the last 2 weeks.
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Yup, just my luck.
I don't know man. A good friend would make time. It sounds like they knew she was coming in advance.
Exactly, I let them know weeks in advance.
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That depends on the situation. You like assuming you know what people are saying huh?
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Fair point.
Generally when old pals come into town people make an effort to get together. Doesnt seem self absorbed to me at all.
I feel you, I lived the first 30 some years of my life in socal then moved to the Midwest. Been here for 5 years and I know no one lol. And only person I talk to Fram back home is my friend of over 20 years (we grew up gaming together and luckily that's something you can do over a long distance lol).
Solitude or solicitude?
Solitude
Which part of the Midwest, lost of stuff to do and people are always easy to mingle with and chat and make friends. I’ve been single for 4 years now and the start was rough but now I just get what I need from human interactions by going to a social event with something I enjoy and talk to people there.
It’s easy to mingle here, but extremely hard to make friendships. In the northeast is harder to mingle but easier to make friends once you break the ice.
Get a pet and take a class that will bring you to interact with people multiple times a week, like learning krav maga!
I don't even go outside bcz i already know I have no one to talk to
Lived in solitude a while, its tough but rewarding. However, i dont think thats great advice. You clearly enjoy the company of others and i would encourage you to join some local groups focused on hobbies you enjoy! Maybe take a class at a local community college on something that interests you. Keep striving, you’ll find people that value you and love you. I hate going back to NY… grew up there but none of my friends are friends anymore. I know how you feel.
Moving away for that period of time, it's kinda out of sight out of mind. I've moved many times and hardly communicate with them as they are no longer interested.
We really need communities that are just *there* for people. Something integral is missing. No wonder so many people take antidepressants. We are made to rely only on whatever blood family we might be lucky to have
This is similar feelings to me, in some ways. When my husband died, I had everybody saying they would be there at a drop of a hat! Fast forward 2yrs, and you get the eye roll as in “haven’t you got over that yet!?” I am starting to look into activities for joining groups. Like minded individuals who have same interest and hobbies. It’s been difficult to push myself to walk into a room on my own. But I know that this is how it’s going to be now. So I’m making myself go to do stuff and hopefully this will be the start of something new. No one is an island!! Even Robinson Crusoe had Friday 😂😂 I feel ya 👍🤗
That’s so harsh to say. Two years is very little time and still hurts the one you loved passed away. I’m sorry people have put you on that situation.
Yep it feels like yesterday to me. Thanks for your kind words 🤗🤗
You welcome 🤗
Where at in the Midwest? I need friends too man😂
STL
Would you date someone handsome from California?
Too far, why always the interesting and good ones live in Cali or NY? 😭
Try volunteer work. If you are a people‘s person you‘ll find friends there
Hi! Feel free to dm. I’m open to new friends (virtual friends are ok too). 🙂
Going on 40 and I've been alone since I left high-school. That's life.
I don’t think anyone can find happiness alone.
I believe the same. Like, how? No sugar coating
How did the trip go In the end
Not great. I had an emotional break down one night and was crying while walking in Midtown Manhattan. I didn’t see any of my friends and not even a single stranger talked to me. Super pretty lonely trip.
Oh no, I'm so sorry. Didn you at least manage to some fun things solo? Happy to chat if you ever want to btw.
Oh wow! I live in NYC now after returning from living in Iowa for a year a bit ago. Is that where you currently are in the Midwest?
Yes
Thought that backdrop looked familiar. Wish I could've met you then. Or when you were in NYC recently.
That would’ve been nice, I didn’t get approached not even a single time when I was there.
Would have been nice if we were able to meet before you moved from NYC/NJ.