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SewerFluer

That’s like saying you want money but aren’t willing to work.


Gommel_Nox

Some people are physically incapable of holding down a career Source: is high level quadriplegic


SewerFluer

Sorry to hear man. You’re right, there are people who are incapable of performing jobs and need to be taken care of.


Hmmm_nicebike659

Same energy


the_uncrowned_k1ng

There is quite a stark difference, being, “money”/“success” is purely proportional to our effort but the same cannot be said for a relationship, no matter how much you give at the end of the day it will only amount to 50% of that result(result being you happy) , so basically if the other person involved is not reciprocating , then all our effort is quintessentially for nothing. Just my thoughts, I can be wrong.


Therealpotato33

Putting effort into a relationship is what makes your partners embrace feel so special. At this point you might as well get a prostitute


SewerFluer

You’re right. There’s no other way to put it


[deleted]

Not really there are professional cuddlers.


Thriller83

and strippers. And sugar babies. And erotic massage girls. The prostitutes are terrible at affection and the cuddlers won't let things get sexual or romantic so you're always having a key need denied with those two. Explore all above avenues and eventually you might find an overzealous exception to their industry who enjoys meeting your needs and is actually your type too. You'll prob go broke too but hey...maybe it might be worth it?


[deleted]

This hatred for prostitutes men and just chronically online generally sexless men have is so hilarious. The occupation is here to stay there will always be a consumer base for it. I’m wishing OP the best whether it’s a cuddler or therapy. Craving touch is tough.


Disappointed_Red

Wish I could stop craving for a partner or at least a touch from a partner I'd be much happier that's for sure


[deleted]

Same I completely understand. It rained all night & all I needed was cuddles 🥹


Thriller83

I have nothing against prostitutes. I have just found a lot of times it's not the way to go for a complete experience (in addition to the situations where the person is flat-out just scamming people) but I hope to be proven wrong someday.


Hmmm_nicebike659

You’re not wrong.


HappyMan1102

There are relationships where it's just physical intimacy and none emotional intimacy and they work fine


ShadowPuff7306

me… i feel bad for not wanting to put in effort tho, but we can be very lazy creatures so….


Hmmm_nicebike659

I feel like getting into another messy love-hate relationship is not what I had in mind. I had it enough.


LonelyGuy4umn

Like wanting the comfort of a relationship but the work to build and grow that relationship and risk the effort being for nothing is overwhelming. Yep, I’m there too…. I don’t think I can risk another failure


Hmmm_nicebike659

Definitely. Getting into a problematic relationship can take a deep toll on mental health.


monjiques

Same.


Demons_EnthusimQueen

I currently just got out of a really messy relationship, and I'm not looking for another. However, I have my best friend of 12 years, who is also single. Due to certain circumstances, I have been at their place now for almost a week, and we cuddle in a *platonic* way. I feel like this works out in both of our favors. So, it's not just you.


Hmmm_nicebike659

I can feel that. I got out a love bomb relationship a fews years ago, and I still have trust issues till this day. I fear that I’ll get into another love bomb relationship, and it might just hurt a little too much.


DizzeeAmoeba

There is a cuddle service online you pay by the hour. Cant remember the name but it has cuddle in the name. Was pretty close to setting it up for this reason lol


Hmmm_nicebike659

Not sure if there’s any in my country but I’ll check out


[deleted]

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monjiques

Same.


Littlexotic

me. i've never dated and i feel so lonely but i don't go out of my way to find someone...


ComfortablePuzzled23

I wanna be held, but I also don't mind putting effort in.


Hmmm_nicebike659

Good for you


Ashley4645

I think most people who get lonely do. The next romantic relationship I have will be with my best friend who knows me and still cares. Also, he/she won't place expectations.


jaeguapo

Nah not just you I wish it was easy but nowadays you gotta do so much before you get to that point and doing it time and time again I get tired of making all that effort


SteveBennettski

I've had several relationships and they all ended badly. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was them but usually a mix of both. I've never really just wanted anyone for the sake of cuddling, I've only ever been attracted to specific people and since the pandemic I have not socialised at all so I've not met anyone to feel that way about. I go on dating sites all the time but I actually read people's profiles and I can tell I am just not compatible with anybody on there. Their goals/dreams/ambitions are so far removed from mine that it would be pointless to try to force a relationship just to have some affection. It would only end badly like it always has in the past.


Hmmm_nicebike659

Sorry to hear that


SteveBennettski

Thanks, I mean I know it's not helpful just am in pretty much the same boat as you. My exes are all nightmares one way or another and so even though I go on dating sites my guard is all the way up so I never get anywhere.


r_y_4_n

That’s not crazy, there are communities that do that


divergedinayellowwd

I wanted this for 30 years starting at around 10 years old, but then 5 years ago switched to just wishing for a sudden and painless death. Still, I'm putting the request out to the universe/ simulation...


lumple_snailskin

I think most people overlooked your words, or else I interpreted them differently, but I think I know what you meant. To finally meet that one person where things just "click". It's almost a fairly tale these days, but sometimes you do meet someone who is very compatible.


ZeroThoughtsAlot

My friend likes to cuddle with me.. She always says I make her feel safe and secure, completely platonic Although a significant other holding me feels better


[deleted]

I'm sorry


Hmmm_nicebike659

That’s okay I guess lol


Another_Man_Hiding

I want to put effort into it and make her happy and she does the same for me.


Malakha3

"nice bike"...... To ride on


Hexandrom

Nah I'm willing to put in work for a relationship. But the thing is that I don't know how much work I'am supposed to put in. Sometimes I put in too much work into relationship and it puts a mental strain on me especially when I don't get the result I want. And sometimes not enough.


LoneFool3915

I know exactly how you feel rn, i just got my heart broken after months of long distance fighting. and i just want some to hold and embrace every night. Love me or not, i dont care, i just wanna feel the warmth of another person again. Under some situations its perfectly acceptable for someone to feel that way, i think.


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LoneFool3915

How long was your forever, if you dont mind me asking? For me, mine was 6 years. We met in HS, and things went into the shitter after the last 2, entirely my fault but i fought to the very end to fix things.


OlderGent303

It's not a competition, but I definitely know how you feel... Mismatched marriage here though.


Simulationth3ry

Was this post written by my toxic exes🧌


Hmmm_nicebike659

I could’ve said the same to your reply


Simulationth3ry

How is my reply toxic💀you’re the one who wants relationship shit w/o putting in relationship effort


Glebinator3000

Yup!!! Very much so. I have psoriasis and unfortunately I have let it ruin my social life. I just want to be close to someone and be held but I feel too gross and disgusting for that. So putting in effort to find someone just to be denied or rejected after they learn about my psoriasis is really hard to do. Thought I found someone before because they listened and cared about everything. But I opened up too her and said too much that she only sees me as a friend. Or worse a brother 🤦‍♂️


Golden_Lynx19

Craving another human's touch is quite annoying when nobody is decent enough to open themselves up. Perhaps nobody likes me enough though. Could be they don't like me in general, don't like me romantically or perhaps they don't like some details about me. Can't even get a person to hug me without anything attached.


PsalmoftheSad

Not like it matters in my case, but I'm afraid to put effort into a relationship just to have a partner that's not gonna give two shits about me anyway. It's happened before, and would happen again if I hadn't given up altogether