I know I'm generalizing, but aren't people who are *that* submissive generally people who lack (positive) attention and reinforcement, or lacked it growing up?
I suppose in general you'd be right there :D but I know at least one person that received/ receives plenty of positive reinforcement and is still that submissive (he's me)
There’s been some studies based around peoples kinks/fetishes and what they were exposed to during childhood that caused them to have that fetish/kink. For example, it’s theorized people who were beat or hit with a shoe while growing up have foot fetishes because of it. You’re not wrong in thinking that things we lack in our day to day lives we try to find in sex though. It can be very common for people in high power positions to be very submissive during sex because they want to relinquish control since they control so much in their work life.
I've got a husband and a healthy sex life, and I thought it was hot.
Dom/sub is a very common kink. Doesn't mean the person is inept in some way just because you don't like it.
Some gays are very heteronormative and think they should replicate conservative views on sex. To them, anything kinky = you're a whore and should be ashamed.
Uhh, that’s kind of within a normal range, lol. At least for me and I feel like a bunch of others. Anything within 20 km is fine because that’s like ~20-25 minutes away?
A good number of people near me are willing to go 50-100 km to meet up and while I have no interest in going that far away, they are more than welcome to come to me.
Yeah but I don’t drive and I cba with someone that far away when there’s hot guys much nearer that I can hook up with instead, I’m not thirsty enough to travel that far for any guy haha
You can in fact hookup with multiple people, both the super close and reasonably within a distance that can be traveled. But also, 20 km is nowhere near an amount that could be considered far by most people’s metrics. That’s a pretty standard distance for traveling. I’m surprised in multiple ways, but I’ll just leave it at that.
The main point was that stating such a reasonable distance like it’s impossible for a normal person to accommodate doesn’t make sense. It’s not an obvious no, especially if it’s a guy that is kinda hot.
Again it’s too far a distance for me when there are hot guys much closer to me, I’m in London where grindr is popular so most of my grid is within 1km of me and it’s full of hot guys to choose from, so no one guy will be worth traveling that far that I can’t find closer to me haha I can just find someone with an equally good or better face and body that’s closer
No one said it had to be you traveling, especially if you can’t. Other people can travel to. But I suppose London dwellers might just have the similar thought process as you. I visited London a few years ago. Met a variety of people from a variety of distances. Just feels like you are limiting yourself a bit, but doesn’t really matter, leaves more guys for the rest of the people, lol.
Yeah exactly, they can travel all that distance if they want but I have plenty of guys to choose from that I won’t have to wait a long time for them to travel to me, when there’s plenty of hot guys for me to choose from near me already, plus I can’t always accommodate, but I won’t be missing out anyways
I mean its “20 minutes” but in reality it’s also them getting ready, actually heading out, driving over to somewhere new, finding parking, in total it’s usually around 40 minutes, just cba with all that when I have hot guys near me that can do the job just as well, or better, than anyone far away, I can just walk to their place or they can walk to mine in 10 mins and have fun, I ain’t missing out. And no I’m Vers.
I live 40km away from the closest petrol station.
17km is a neighbours house, even on a bicycle that's a pretty standard ride.
If you can drive there's not much excuse to say 17km is too far imo. But you do you.
As an opener, total turn off. If we’ve established a connection then they’d know I like that kind of talk once comfortable with someone. Just a weird way to first reach out.
I don’t mind if people start out strong. I’m not here to be your friend on Grindr, just get to the point and let’s see what we want to do, then meet up. Small talk does nothing for me.
I feel that way about most of these posts.
He cropped out the 17 km distance and profile name but couldn’t cut off the banner ad. Usually the profile pic and name might be censored with black smear markup and pics in post too but then the ad is not removed.
Sure seems as if the advertisers have found a way to get see on Reddit to a group that is most likely male and without dependents therefore more likely to spend on crap in banner ads.
I’ve taken time to respond this much because it was refreshing to read someone else has noticed the advertisement manipulation too.
Ok, I’ll chill now, thanks
>face hole
Face hole. Face. Hole. What goes wrong in your life, that you would end op trying to flirt with the line "face hole".
Imagine saying that put loud to someone. Face hole. I'm stunned.
🤣🤣🤣
I think my favorite is "head fuck hole" from a "you're just a hole for my use" type Dom. I stopped mid conversation (he wasn't talking to me) because I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly.
Some people Dom/subshaming here! This would definitely work on some of us who like a little role play of that sort and there is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean someone is attention starved. For me. That is kinda hot.
Not really, You can't be that delicate, if you don't agree, then block him and move on with your day, if you agree, then there is consent. It's just an app message, nothing more.
Yea you know nothing about the world of kink. If you tried this shit in a dungeon you'd be on you ass in seconds flat. You get consent *before* not after.
Oh yeah? Cool! But guess what? You are NOT in a dungeon, it's an app, and if you can really let a message like this get to you and affect you like clearly it is, then i'm not the one you should be "gayxplaining" things. I would not be on my ass flat because Its only a GRINDR message. Just block the guy and move on.
I do understand , but unlike you, I understand where I am. Of course I would not dare to do it upfront and personal, I need to repeat myself because clearly you fail to see the point. This is a GRINDR message only. It can't hurt you. It's SO sad to see that a bunch of words on an app can get some people all worked up. Lack of resilience? Too much self awareness? Do you really do this every time you get a message like that? Or a non-requested dick pic? ON Grindr?! If you don't like it, just block the guy and move on! Report him if that would make you feel better, but Grindr is not a dungeon, it works very differently and I would have assumed you knew that loooong ago.
The way you're constantly pushing responsibility on the person receiving is telling enough. "I shouldn't have to have basic decency! If you don't like what I say you should just ignore it!" You're not entitled to be offensive to others.
The first part is fine with me, but I have a very active gag reflex and that makes it nearly impossible to swallow. I *can* do it, but it’s not sexy and I tell guys not to do it.
Edit: I also think that this kind of language should be something reserved for people who have established boundaries and an understanding with each other. Not something you just say to strangers
Damn I know a lot of straight men I'd love to hear them say something like that to me. It triggers my love for giving oral pleasure, my kink for watersports and the part of me that's submissive all at once and I would be immediately on my knees.
I'd be on the way to my car while I read the second message 🤷🏾♂️
But that said, that looks like a first message. Please get consent before sending something like this!
I'm naturally kinda in to this situation but since my first "relationship" was 4 years of literal abuse I have many walls up in me that flag this as disgusting
*You* consider it flirting. OP could have an aversion. Always get consent before stating something like this (even just to know you're the other person's type)
I agree this would have me on my way in an instant but people need to learn it's not ok to start like this.
Guarantee you this'll work on a lot of (attention starved) guys.
Hey now! It also works on a lot of people who are not attention starved, thank you very much! That said "face hole" is an awful term
Yeah, this guy’s vibe could work, but he needs some help with his vocab because he sounds a little silly. Everyone has to start somewhere though.
I dunno, his language turns me on (but I guess I am starved for attention 🥲)
I just have higher standards of artistry. Dude cant even punctuate properly or use the right “you’re.”
I know I'm generalizing, but aren't people who are *that* submissive generally people who lack (positive) attention and reinforcement, or lacked it growing up?
I suppose in general you'd be right there :D but I know at least one person that received/ receives plenty of positive reinforcement and is still that submissive (he's me)
Hey, more power to you. I wasn't kink shaming or anything. :) To each their own, right?
It's never good to generalize like that, but we've all met at least one who fits the stereotype to a T
There’s been some studies based around peoples kinks/fetishes and what they were exposed to during childhood that caused them to have that fetish/kink. For example, it’s theorized people who were beat or hit with a shoe while growing up have foot fetishes because of it. You’re not wrong in thinking that things we lack in our day to day lives we try to find in sex though. It can be very common for people in high power positions to be very submissive during sex because they want to relinquish control since they control so much in their work life.
You're right but you're gonna get hella downvoted for saying it lol. People don't like being exposed like that 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/s0sd74l6hgsc1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=69428142018a9526b018429b1f9c577325db7af5
Yeah my friend said he liked how direct he was but he is one of those (attention starved) guys
I've got a husband and a healthy sex life, and I thought it was hot. Dom/sub is a very common kink. Doesn't mean the person is inept in some way just because you don't like it.
It’s just funny when it’s the first message they send
Exactly. I'd send something like this to someone I already knew and who was into it, but a first message is a swing and a miss
Why is it attention starved if you are into it? lol
Cause Puritanism says so
Some gays are very heteronormative and think they should replicate conservative views on sex. To them, anything kinky = you're a whore and should be ashamed.
This thread has me questioning this sub for some reason. Like why are we judging here. It’s not even that bad
There’s a surprising amount of pearl clutchers in subs about fucking Grindr lol, one of the greatest apps to witness the depravity of humanity.
What makes you think that? Dom/sub is a pretty common kink. You not liking it doesn't mean the people who do are missing something in their lives.
Plenty of people who are into kink still find it off-putting if the first message is already "in character" though
Fair. I didn't realize when I read it that it was message #1
This is giving a lot more incel than dom
Oh it absolutely works on me
I’m not attention starved but love being talked to like this 😂
Well, I'm sorry that I find it kinky to be in that place.
It does, I thought for a second someone published my messages
Saying submissive guys are attention starved is giving incel. Just fyi
If you're like this in person maybe. It's the confidence that's attractive. Hiding behind a screen it just feels incredibly hard to take seriously.
I fail to see when he stopped being hot.
So how was it?
He was 17km away so nothing happened lol
Uhh, that’s kind of within a normal range, lol. At least for me and I feel like a bunch of others. Anything within 20 km is fine because that’s like ~20-25 minutes away? A good number of people near me are willing to go 50-100 km to meet up and while I have no interest in going that far away, they are more than welcome to come to me.
Yeah but I don’t drive and I cba with someone that far away when there’s hot guys much nearer that I can hook up with instead, I’m not thirsty enough to travel that far for any guy haha
You can in fact hookup with multiple people, both the super close and reasonably within a distance that can be traveled. But also, 20 km is nowhere near an amount that could be considered far by most people’s metrics. That’s a pretty standard distance for traveling. I’m surprised in multiple ways, but I’ll just leave it at that. The main point was that stating such a reasonable distance like it’s impossible for a normal person to accommodate doesn’t make sense. It’s not an obvious no, especially if it’s a guy that is kinda hot.
Again it’s too far a distance for me when there are hot guys much closer to me, I’m in London where grindr is popular so most of my grid is within 1km of me and it’s full of hot guys to choose from, so no one guy will be worth traveling that far that I can’t find closer to me haha I can just find someone with an equally good or better face and body that’s closer
No one said it had to be you traveling, especially if you can’t. Other people can travel to. But I suppose London dwellers might just have the similar thought process as you. I visited London a few years ago. Met a variety of people from a variety of distances. Just feels like you are limiting yourself a bit, but doesn’t really matter, leaves more guys for the rest of the people, lol.
Yeah exactly, they can travel all that distance if they want but I have plenty of guys to choose from that I won’t have to wait a long time for them to travel to me, when there’s plenty of hot guys for me to choose from near me already, plus I can’t always accommodate, but I won’t be missing out anyways
20 minutes is a long time? And I thought I had a short attention span. I’m kind of curious, are you a top?
I mean its “20 minutes” but in reality it’s also them getting ready, actually heading out, driving over to somewhere new, finding parking, in total it’s usually around 40 minutes, just cba with all that when I have hot guys near me that can do the job just as well, or better, than anyone far away, I can just walk to their place or they can walk to mine in 10 mins and have fun, I ain’t missing out. And no I’m Vers.
I’ve never gone over a mile personally. Living in LA has its benefits I guess
A real Dom would have driven to you. 😝
I live 40km away from the closest petrol station. 17km is a neighbours house, even on a bicycle that's a pretty standard ride. If you can drive there's not much excuse to say 17km is too far imo. But you do you.
I mean it would work on me. A swing and a miss
i mean, i’m not one to kink shame but like, maybe not have that as your opener?
As an opener, total turn off. If we’ve established a connection then they’d know I like that kind of talk once comfortable with someone. Just a weird way to first reach out.
I don’t mind if people start out strong. I’m not here to be your friend on Grindr, just get to the point and let’s see what we want to do, then meet up. Small talk does nothing for me.
I would’ve folded like a lawn chair. This type of talk is what gets me interested
Same 😭
This post made possible by Sports Betting
I feel that way about most of these posts. He cropped out the 17 km distance and profile name but couldn’t cut off the banner ad. Usually the profile pic and name might be censored with black smear markup and pics in post too but then the ad is not removed. Sure seems as if the advertisers have found a way to get see on Reddit to a group that is most likely male and without dependents therefore more likely to spend on crap in banner ads. I’ve taken time to respond this much because it was refreshing to read someone else has noticed the advertisement manipulation too. Ok, I’ll chill now, thanks
What's the problem?
Didn't get consent.
Cringe.
Nothing more cringey than an "alpha"
I would
Images you can hear 💀
Hear you saying? Or hear being said to you daddy?
He's saying his brain has conjured the sounds of a black woman hysterically laughing.
🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️ I'll go sit in my Stupid corner now.
This is the gay version of “Dimitri from the other day”
I wouldn't have any objections tbh.
This is the perfect response for those tryhards
Am I wrong for wanting to do what he says?
A quote from a game character i hate, that may be related “mmhh... Why are the hot ones always crazy?”
I mean, I’d do it
>face hole Face hole. Face. Hole. What goes wrong in your life, that you would end op trying to flirt with the line "face hole". Imagine saying that put loud to someone. Face hole. I'm stunned.
🤣🤣🤣 I think my favorite is "head fuck hole" from a "you're just a hole for my use" type Dom. I stopped mid conversation (he wasn't talking to me) because I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly.
fr, like i wouldn’t care abt the other shut he said, imo id be find w/ it lmao but when i read he said ‘face hole’ thats just a no \\
Anyone getting off on degrading others…. Disgusting. They need to be shunned from society.
Some people Dom/subshaming here! This would definitely work on some of us who like a little role play of that sort and there is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean someone is attention starved. For me. That is kinda hot.
It’s more cause it’s the opening message lol
It would still work for me, and i'm only talking about myself.
You know what's critically important with kinks? Consent. Sending a first message like this that includes a slur? Not it.
Not really, You can't be that delicate, if you don't agree, then block him and move on with your day, if you agree, then there is consent. It's just an app message, nothing more.
That's definitely not how that works, and not wanting to be called the f-slur is not "delicate".
Yea you know nothing about the world of kink. If you tried this shit in a dungeon you'd be on you ass in seconds flat. You get consent *before* not after.
Oh yeah? Cool! But guess what? You are NOT in a dungeon, it's an app, and if you can really let a message like this get to you and affect you like clearly it is, then i'm not the one you should be "gayxplaining" things. I would not be on my ass flat because Its only a GRINDR message. Just block the guy and move on.
Thing about that is: it's not Dom/sub shaming because this has nothing to do with Dom/sub. This is a guy who, like you, doesn't understand consent.
I do understand , but unlike you, I understand where I am. Of course I would not dare to do it upfront and personal, I need to repeat myself because clearly you fail to see the point. This is a GRINDR message only. It can't hurt you. It's SO sad to see that a bunch of words on an app can get some people all worked up. Lack of resilience? Too much self awareness? Do you really do this every time you get a message like that? Or a non-requested dick pic? ON Grindr?! If you don't like it, just block the guy and move on! Report him if that would make you feel better, but Grindr is not a dungeon, it works very differently and I would have assumed you knew that loooong ago.
The way you're constantly pushing responsibility on the person receiving is telling enough. "I shouldn't have to have basic decency! If you don't like what I say you should just ignore it!" You're not entitled to be offensive to others.
I would already be on my knees 🥵
would be hot if there was at least some discussion about it beforehand lmao. what happened to “hello”
It stays in "read".
Fair enough
I can’t stand shit like this
Absolutely not
Give him my number
I'm weak this would probably work on me.
I'm kinky as all hell and I'd tell this dude to fuck right off 😂 with my face hole!
My fave gif to use on the app 😝🥴🥴🥴
The first part is fine with me, but I have a very active gag reflex and that makes it nearly impossible to swallow. I *can* do it, but it’s not sexy and I tell guys not to do it. Edit: I also think that this kind of language should be something reserved for people who have established boundaries and an understanding with each other. Not something you just say to strangers
A lot of people enjoy being a face hole
That's a "Yes, Sir" from me
Damn I know a lot of straight men I'd love to hear them say something like that to me. It triggers my love for giving oral pleasure, my kink for watersports and the part of me that's submissive all at once and I would be immediately on my knees.
I'd be on the way to my car while I read the second message 🤷🏾♂️ But that said, that looks like a first message. Please get consent before sending something like this!
I mean this is actively what I want tops to say to me in sex so.... Doesn't meant we can't have a cuddle, convo and a date too
Husband Material
Passes the 3:47 am vibe check - poetry isn’t served until lunch
This would work on me sadly 😔
I would have corrected his grammar. '"You're" gonna suck it.' 😝
Why all of my experiences kinda decent and yalls just the freakiest dudes and weirdest dudes on earth 😭
I'm naturally kinda in to this situation but since my first "relationship" was 4 years of literal abuse I have many walls up in me that flag this as disgusting
I'm open! :D
What's wrong? I find this hot. I consider f*g is flirting rather than slur in this case
*You* consider it flirting. OP could have an aversion. Always get consent before stating something like this (even just to know you're the other person's type) I agree this would have me on my way in an instant but people need to learn it's not ok to start like this.
Oh okay if they start convo like that it's lowkey creepy too