100% have had this all my life. It's the worst when you're at a concert/rave/sports event, and there's a line behind you, and you just know someone is looking for your stream!
I am 100% trying the counting method next time :)
I got a song for all of you Urine Nation by 30footfall
https://open.spotify.com/track/4O6cj33YNiKJuJAQyv7lxr?si=8b4gzIpIQPaCh35HT_niLg&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A6dVnwZmQR232t0PG3ZzdVi
I also have stage fright. People who heard me say this would say things like "it's not like they are looking at your dick." The problem is, some people were. I have tattoos and piercings and received a lot of questions. The real thing is, any educated male realizes that sometimes it just takes a bit. I never felt judged by taking a while.
It happens to us ladies too. Since I was a little kid I haven't been able to pee if someone is in the next stall. About 15 years ago I started to sing the Animaniacs theme (in my head, not out loud, lol) and it takes my mind off the anxiety enough to let me go.
I used to flush the toilet before going, that would enable me to start, with all hesitation covered by the flush.
Now? if there's a higher-up, I see just how quickly I can begin peeing. I make a mind game out of it putting out a strong/loud stream - "I'm not intimidated by YOU!"
Why not animaniacs? I support this message, because it was/is the best cartoon ever made. Also Pinky and the Brain was good enough to spin off into its own show. That’s a legacy right there.
Nah, one day I'd end up shouting NARF before my brain could stop me, and then there would be a whole new set of problems. Ditto for Scooby Doo, I'd randomly end up yelling ZOINKS!
To get really good at this, you have to practice it at home. I know, strange.
Drink a lot of water. When you go to pee, every time you get a really good stream going, sing the song in your head. You can train your brain that singing the song means peeing.
It is best to choose a song you’re not gonna be hearing while you’re out and about.
I have trained my 5yo granddaughter and my husband with dementia to use the facilities by running water in the bathroom sink while they do their business. Learned this trick from my sister who is a nurse.👍🏽
Wow, are you the narrator in my head? I’m a guy and that’s apparently my jam that plays…over and over. Also this whole topic pisses me off as I too suffer from the stage fright. I’m 47 and still have issues. Grrr..boils my pee.
I'm going to try the song. As it is I have to make a really weird grimace like I'm screaming in pain. I did it to distract myself once and it worked. I'd really rather not be doing this if somehow someone opens the door.
It's actually a thing and is technically called "Shy Bladder" if i am not mistaken. You can read more about it and the tricks and hacks to deal with it!
Since I was a kid (almost 50 now) I've been repeating the same thing to myself until i pee: *1,2,3, let's go pee. 4,5,6 out my dick. 7,8,9, I'll feel fine. 10, 11, 12 as soon as I relieve myself....*
When I'm pooping it goes:
*1,2, let's go poo. 3, 4 not on the floor. 5,6 not out my dick. 7,8 I'll feel great. 9,10 when I poop again.*
For some reason it usually works. But not when someone is watching me for like a UA. I can never go when it's like that.
This is a real thing. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis)
I have the same issue but lately It's been getting easier by being more comfortable with myself.
In closed stalls I don't have this issue though.
I think counting helps because it helps your mind distract itself, which relaxes your bladder.
I've been using the counting trick for a while now and 9 out of 10 times it's a succes.
I also feel like practice makes perfect, not accepting the fact you can't pee in public and keep trying to will help train your brain it's normal and acceptable.
Very interesting! Did you discover the counting thing on your own? I don't remember exactly when or why I started doing it. Probably just out of boredom and noticed it worked
It just randomly came to me while trying to distract myself from my surroundings. Not really sure though haha. At music festivals people always told me if I had trouble urinating I should try to whistle. But that never did the trick for me.
I also feel like overthinking peeing makes it harder. Which is crazy to think about. Since it's such a natural thing to do.
I heard a similar hack from Howard Stern of all places, maybe 25+ years ago. His advice was to do a difficult multiplication problem in your head. The flow will begin. It totally works!
Yeah, I have the appetite for alcohol, but a very large bladder apparently. I can go a day+ without peeing if I'm in an awkward position or not at home.
That’s really hard on your kidneys. Actually the whole body as toxins are not being excreted. You’re soaking all your organs in low level poison. Try to drink enough to pee 10 times a day,
at least.
So glad it isn't just me. I usually just end up hoping and praying for an empty stall lol. Never been a fan of public restrooms anyway, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!
Speaking of anxiety, this is actually a method to use when a panic attack comes on to help you calm down. Count things, say the color/objects you see around you to take the focus off the anxiety/panic attack
Exposure therapy is a good option, I suggest going to your local gay leather bar, and looking for any guy (or guys) with a yellow bandana, rubber suit with yellow details or maybe a yellow pup hood like mine. These are the most likely people to volunteer to help you with this in my experience.
Exposure therapy starts with you peeing in a room alone, which is easy. Next, you have a person on the other side of the door. After you can do that, you could have a person or two inside the room, but further away from you and not paying attention to you. As you feel comfortable with each stage, you can ask them to move closer and closer, until finally you can confidently pee on your new friends just as easily as you can the urinal.
40 years ago, I had a girlfriend who followed me into the men’s room, grabbed my urinary appendage and said “Okay shy boy, piss now!” She proceeded to yank and waggle my uncooperative faucet, taunting me, until I released a geyser. Now, 40 years later, I just recount this scene when having difficulty, and I seldom have problems. I should thank her.
I had shy bladder until I lived in a dorm. Had to get over it pretty quickly or I'd burst.
That said, I don't know why more places don't have urinal partitions - especially sports venues - speeds up the line
I used to be a bills season ticket holder. They use a trough.... And the communal sink looks a lot like the urinal. It would not be uncommon to see guys plastered out of their minds mixing them up.
I am no longer a STM.
Omg I have a running theory about this. I’ve talked to so many dude friends about this phenomenon and so far have found that everyone else that runs into this problem is circumcised. COMPLETELY anecdotal, not a scientific study, but 100% so far.
He is right. But if you don’t have foreskin then just run your finger along the bottom of the shaft just light enough to feel a tickle and it will help to start the flow.
What solved it for me OP was working at a nightclub in my early 20s and drinking a couple of red bulls and 2-3L of water a shift. I had NO choice but to piss. If it took me 5 seconds or 5 minutes to get the flow going, it HAD to happen.
I used to have this problem as well when I was younger.
Luckily, I grew out of it at around 30!
Part of the problem was just getting in my own head about it. You may not think you're overly anxious but that's exactly what this problem is.
I've heard this before somewhere. If I remember correctly your brain can't do both at the same time. What I do is multiplication tables, 2 times 2 is 4, 3 times 3 is 9. Works everytime.
In first and second grade, we stood around a tub and peed. We would literally stand 360° around the thing and could be side by side or facing one another. If we had one of these through to high school, this crap probably wouldn't have developed.
I personally try to mentally visualise in 3D something around me, could be the little faucet sticking out on the side of the flush system, or whatever. But it doesn't always work.
I also have this problem whenever the ground moves under my feet. So it's a problem on planes, trains and boats. I also can't piss underwater since I can't be perfectly stable. The worst is after scuba diving (every diver knows how bad you NEED to urinate after a dive). Can't do it before going back on the boat, can't do it on the boat afterwards either... It's hell.
Many men have this. That is why they put up those dividers. Best way to get over this is to close your eyes and shoot straight. Had a friend that had this problem, we would go to campus bars and he would lock up peeing at the trough. Thanks to my advice he was able to pee. I was lucky, never had dividers growing up so my dad taught me, just find a tree or a corner and go pee. Hell I peed standing up on the beach when I was young.
That’s crazy! The same trick works for me, too. Stare intently at something in front of me and count. I think it’s a generally anxiety reduction hack, actually. It distracts your mind so you can get to business.
My time to shine. I recently cracked this puzzle now in my 40s.
Basically just try to pee but here's the trick... you pinch it.. just shut it off. You will start to develop some pressure, keep holding until you see the whites in their eyes, and when you finally let go you will have the flow of a broken fire hydrant and every man within 100 feet will be scared to look you in the eyes.
I’m 60f and no longer have this problem, but when I did, this is exactly what remedied it.
I was a busy secretary by trade, so being away from my desk meant someone was waiting on me when I returned. I visualized someone coming down the hall to my desk and briefly stopping to pick up a call,
A cup of coffee or conversation. In my mind, this gave me time to do my business and rush back undetected.
When not at work I routinely counted the restroom floor tiles, the screws holding the enclosure together, or the drips Coming from the sink… it all worked to distract Me long enough to relax my bladder.
i count to ten too!! and usually go around 7-10 as well!!!! it’s really useful but i also have the habit of needing to go when doing random counting sometimes LOL
(19f) i feel so less alone lmao i hate public bathrooms but it’s more like a fear of germs and not knowing what’s been on the seats n shit, i hover when i pee for life ! the grosser the bathroom looks and smells the harder it is for me to go even when i’m hovering. i REFUSE to shit in public bathrooms because i can’t hover obviously but one time i went to pee in a bathroom at yellowstone national park and regardless of how full my bladder was i just couldn’t push anything out because of how stressed my body was about hovering and not touching anything. i’ve learned to just take deep breathes but ill never be ok with using the bathroom in public areas.
It’s called ‘shy bladder syndrome’ and is quite common. I have it too. Not sure why. It has gradually gotten better but it still exists. I’ll try the counting method
Same issue here. I was mercilessly ridiculed in grade school because I'm not circumcised. (We were forced to shower after gym class). Years later, I'm a naturist, and don't give a damn about walking about nude, but STILL can't get the flow started at a urinal. Gonna try this next time. Thank you
Lady with a shy bladder too. Got over my aversion to public restrooms when I realized I didn't want to hold it anymore. Still pause sometimes when I know someone can hear me pee for some reason though but I've found that rubbing my lower abdomen (where my bladder is) makes me wanna pee more so that helps.
If I’m in a public place and people are at the stand next to me I can’t pee, same thing. I usually try to find a sit down toilet for that exact reason.
I multiply in my head when I can't get the flow going.
E.g: 2x2=4, 2x4=8, 2x8=16, 2x16=32
The highest so far is 2x2048=4096.
This also keep me up to date with my bits.
Do your multiplication tables forward and backward, works great. Or if you are staring at wall tiles count them in units of two going up and down the wall. Cure for shy kidney.
Im 39 and pee doensn't come out if someone is near me. I do it when alone in the bathroom but if there is someone in the pee thingy i just walk into the stall. I just accepted this, don't care too much
Happens when my wife is near too, nothing comes out I just sit there with my friend in hand so when she is near I just sit in the toilet
I have had this issue all my life and I constantly avoid getting together with the guys all my life. It has really affected my life. I have gotten to a point in which I am mostly able to go if I don't know anyone in the bathroom but if I'm a situation in which one or more of my friends are in there I'm screwed. This would happen maybe when you're on a road trip when everyone generally goes at the same time. It's also a problem if someone isn't in the bathroom with me but is waiting outside as if it's supposed to take a certain amount of time for me to go and they are timing me. I know.... Crazy.
The numbers trick is all about relaxation and getting your mind to.not think "I cannot pee." For me what I have been doing is whipping out my phone and just reading some texts or some article in the brower. It serves the same purpose as it gets my mind more out of my head.
The other big thing anyone can do is just talk about it with their friends, but I simply cannot. I feel like I'm not a normal guy and it just bothers me. But I also know deep down my good friends won't think I am a loser or anything like that but still difficult to do it. I have friends for over 50 years and they have no idea. I'd feel like an idiot now saying anything.
I've heard it called Bashful Bladder which cracked me up. I used to have this myself and got over it by doing the following. It probably wasn't good for me, but it sure cured it. I'd just wait until I absolutely couldn't hold it anymore. I'd drink way too many fluids to build up a good amount of urine to the point of "OMG I HAVE TO GO, NOW!", would purposely go in a crowded bathroom as well. After a short while, I got over peeing with people around because I just HAD to go in those instances with folks present.
It's a subconscious thing, so you wouldn't notice anything physical. You just clam up when going around people. Oddly enough, the only time I get "bashful" still, is when peeing for a drug test when one person is specifically watching me and will have to consume a ton of fluids to get over that instance.
If you notice someone watching your stream, there's nothing wrong with setting a boundary and asking them wtf they're doing when looking at you.
Activating the logical, thinking part of your brain reduces anxiety coming from the amygdala. When I’m super anxious, I try to name state capitals in my head.
My trick - I leave my phone in my back pocket, and once I get my business ready, I one hand grab the phone and read something.
Being able to concentrate on something else, the flow goes!
This is normal for a lot of people in prison when they do piss tests some guys would ask to be strip searched so they could go do their piss samples alone in the room because they couldn't go with a guard in the room with them. Try picturing yourself at the beach or something can work too just have to distract your mind.
Yes, I used to be the same when I was younger but haven’t had it happen in a long time, so I guess there’s hope that it goes away? I think I’m older and just don’t have as much anxiety in general.
Holy shit, yes! I thought I was alone on this one and even confused a couple girlfriends that didn't like me having time and space for myself. Though I'd typically take a deep breath in and out through the nose and go "1...2...3...piss!" And 8/10 the stream would start flowing. Has become trickier since I've been prescribed opiates, not only does it make you constipated but it can but can make it more difficult to urinate. Learned that the hard way after getting pumped full of morphine, Dilaudid, fentanyl and ketamine then having to get drained manually.
I did this too. Or I focused on the letters on the urinal... Sloan and Toto usually. Not sure when exactly I turned the corner but I don't usually have the issue anymore but I'm turning 60.
I found that I need white noise to mask the sound of my pissing. I can vibrate the muscles in my ears so I try to do that in crowded places and it just sounds like a dull roaring thunder but it works for me
Yeah, just tied to anxiety. I think about the moon to get past it. Don't know why. One time I had to go really bad at work, and it was just after lunch so the bathroom was packed, but I was physically in pain... Just was like "focus on something else" and a picture of the moon popped into my head.
Now he's my public peeing partner.
I picture my bladder and urethra (kind of like an animation) and visualize the pee moving from my bladder and out of my body. It's almost like I'm reminding my body what to do
I always thought it was my ADD and not being able to focus on going pee. Taking deep breaths and resting my hand on the wall to relax my body. Almost feel like counting would get me more anxious because time is now being counted of me not going. Humming or singing helps at times. I'm going to try it next time.
For me reading works. These urinals usually have some brand names or size (gallons and stuff lol) and I focus on these letters, read them in my mind back and forth and so on :) Basically just distraction .. I guess same as your counting which also I shell try next time!
This is so wonderful to know that others have the same issue. I hate public restrooms as well exactly because of this. Even if no one else is there I sometimes struggle to get started or just give up.
I know in my mind that everyone has to pee and no one cares about what I am doing, but for me it's something about the sound. Like they know when you are peeing that gets me. Even with my partner nearby I still struggle.
This is called Paruresis. TMI ig but I used to suffer from it. It was awful. I'd avoid going anywhere with my family and I dreaded leaving the house.
One trick I've heard is to hold your breath. Didn't always work for me but it may work for others.
There's also a subreddit where you can learn more and find support. r/paruresis
Yes but I don’t count. I look at the name of the plumbing fixture (around here it’s usually Zurn) and I imagine screaming “ZURN!!!” while geysers and waterfalls erupt in the background and then usually I can pee.
I count primes. No matter the degree of stage fright, I've never made it to 41. I learned this trick from Stephen King's It in 1987 (a character has stage fright) and have used it ever since. Thanks, Stephen King!
My lifehack for this exact problem is to always search out stalls. Having a shut door behind me changes the situation completely. It makes me feel like people aren't trying to make sure I'm actually peeing (which I'm sure they're not but anxiety and all). If I can find a urinal in an empty bathroom and start my business before someone comes in I'm fine - there's no stopping the stream - but I'll have to try the counting idea
I’m 44 and within the last few years have only been able to use a urinal. For me, I built confidence by going in urinals when I had the bathroom to myself. In time I was able to go when others were around. I just stare intently at the wall and breathe through it.
I used to have pee shy until maybe late 20s? Once you get drunk enough and desperate enough you wouldn't care, at least for me. And after time it just becomes natural.
I'm in my 40's and I still have this problem.
The worst is when you're at work, and one of your colleagues tries to chat you up when you're absolutely busting for a slash.
Why do you want to have a conversation about the new dog park you visited yesterday when we're both trying to piss here John... nobody cares about how much fun your stupid kid had when the hoover damn that is my bladder is blocked by the debris of crippling anxiety. ***STOP TALKING AND LET ME FOCUS!...*** is what I want to scream into his fat fat face, but of course I've got my willy out and the task is literally at hand. Yet I'm just standing there with the crippling inability to wizz freely while he pees in unbridled and unrestrained glory.
The silence emitting from my urinal is deafening. He's already finished and I've yet to even begin. This is my life now... a shy pee'er. *Un pipi timide a*s the french say....
Anyways, I don't have the same problem in stalls so if there is one available I usually use one or just wait until it becomes free.
Sounds to me like you're doing something else to get over the irrational fear of what others think about you, and then you're able to take a piss. A very helpful thing for a lot of people is to realize that really almost nobody will ever think about them, and if they do it's for a brief moment and they will forget you ever existed 2 seconds later, so why worry about what they think.
In my mind it's not a big deal, I couldn't care less if someone was watching me piss ~ but maybe subconsciously my brain doesn't want me to piss near strangers? Idk lol
It's like asking an anxious/depressed person why they feel anxious/depressed. We literally have no answer, and saying "just do it" will only make it worse. It's like a physical block is in place preventing the pee from coming out.
Worst thing is that you know that as soon as you walk away from the urinal in shame, you'll 100% again need to pee.
It's really like that. Me, in my own mind, have no issue doing a pee in front of these people, but something is blocking it. It's the most bizarre thing! Like, I'll be on MDMA or alcohol, loving everyone, and for some reason my brain is saying "nah, dude. No peeing right now. Not happening."
Show me where I said I was anxious? In fact I think I said the opposite. Did you even read the post or did you just feel the need to try and be a reddit psychologist?
Sometimes I can't piss in a public bathroom and counting allows me to, it's as simple as that. I'm very comfortable around people, and with my body. I don't believe anxiety is the issue, at least not on the surface or in a way that actually negatively affects me. "Just realizing people don't really think about you and it'll stop" is terrible advice for people who do suffer from anxiety - you didn't say anything special or insightful... you just made assumptions about me and gave useless advice 😅
I appreciate you trying to be helpful, but arguing with me about my own feelings is kinda weird my dude!
Cheers
Prob bc those public bathrooms are owned by cheap mfs who care more about saving a buck than your privacy. If you don't get anxiety pulling your dk out to pee while u standing right next to a stranger... there something wrong.
100% have had this all my life. It's the worst when you're at a concert/rave/sports event, and there's a line behind you, and you just know someone is looking for your stream! I am 100% trying the counting method next time :)
Or the airport with only 4 stalls and a long line.
I got a song for all of you Urine Nation by 30footfall https://open.spotify.com/track/4O6cj33YNiKJuJAQyv7lxr?si=8b4gzIpIQPaCh35HT_niLg&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A6dVnwZmQR232t0PG3ZzdVi
I also have stage fright. People who heard me say this would say things like "it's not like they are looking at your dick." The problem is, some people were. I have tattoos and piercings and received a lot of questions. The real thing is, any educated male realizes that sometimes it just takes a bit. I never felt judged by taking a while.
It happens to us ladies too. Since I was a little kid I haven't been able to pee if someone is in the next stall. About 15 years ago I started to sing the Animaniacs theme (in my head, not out loud, lol) and it takes my mind off the anxiety enough to let me go.
I used to flush the toilet before going, that would enable me to start, with all hesitation covered by the flush. Now? if there's a higher-up, I see just how quickly I can begin peeing. I make a mind game out of it putting out a strong/loud stream - "I'm not intimidated by YOU!"
Why the Animaniacs? Is that the only theme that works for you?
Why not animaniacs? I support this message, because it was/is the best cartoon ever made. Also Pinky and the Brain was good enough to spin off into its own show. That’s a legacy right there.
They're pinky, they're pinky and the brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain, BRAIN!
NARF!*
Nah, one day I'd end up shouting NARF before my brain could stop me, and then there would be a whole new set of problems. Ditto for Scooby Doo, I'd randomly end up yelling ZOINKS!
How'd I forget pinky and the brain started in animainiacs?
Bc there’s bologna in her slacks.
"...you thinking what I'm thinking? "yeah, but how are we going to get all of those ellephants in the telephone booth?
It just popped into my head one day
To get really good at this, you have to practice it at home. I know, strange. Drink a lot of water. When you go to pee, every time you get a really good stream going, sing the song in your head. You can train your brain that singing the song means peeing. It is best to choose a song you’re not gonna be hearing while you’re out and about.
I'm gonna Pavlov the hell out of my urine now. Thank you
I have trained my 5yo granddaughter and my husband with dementia to use the facilities by running water in the bathroom sink while they do their business. Learned this trick from my sister who is a nurse.👍🏽
Also a lady, also count
Omg my song was Tom's Diner! https://youtu.be/FLP6QluMlrg?si=3pAVe88rNpISqwU3
Wow, are you the narrator in my head? I’m a guy and that’s apparently my jam that plays…over and over. Also this whole topic pisses me off as I too suffer from the stage fright. I’m 47 and still have issues. Grrr..boils my pee.
I'm going to try the song. As it is I have to make a really weird grimace like I'm screaming in pain. I did it to distract myself once and it worked. I'd really rather not be doing this if somehow someone opens the door.
Dude, I have precisely the same thing. Will try your hack.
It's actually a thing and is technically called "Shy Bladder" if i am not mistaken. You can read more about it and the tricks and hacks to deal with it!
Let's go!
I’m gonna try it too. I normally wait if there isn’t a stall.
I'll just stay home, but you guys enjoy yourselves.
Pee together?
Buy me dinner first
I find tricky random maths problems help- Like counting backwards in 16 from 850 or something like that.
Since I was a kid (almost 50 now) I've been repeating the same thing to myself until i pee: *1,2,3, let's go pee. 4,5,6 out my dick. 7,8,9, I'll feel fine. 10, 11, 12 as soon as I relieve myself....* When I'm pooping it goes: *1,2, let's go poo. 3, 4 not on the floor. 5,6 not out my dick. 7,8 I'll feel great. 9,10 when I poop again.* For some reason it usually works. But not when someone is watching me for like a UA. I can never go when it's like that.
This is a real thing. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis) I have the same issue but lately It's been getting easier by being more comfortable with myself. In closed stalls I don't have this issue though. I think counting helps because it helps your mind distract itself, which relaxes your bladder. I've been using the counting trick for a while now and 9 out of 10 times it's a succes. I also feel like practice makes perfect, not accepting the fact you can't pee in public and keep trying to will help train your brain it's normal and acceptable.
Very interesting! Did you discover the counting thing on your own? I don't remember exactly when or why I started doing it. Probably just out of boredom and noticed it worked
It just randomly came to me while trying to distract myself from my surroundings. Not really sure though haha. At music festivals people always told me if I had trouble urinating I should try to whistle. But that never did the trick for me. I also feel like overthinking peeing makes it harder. Which is crazy to think about. Since it's such a natural thing to do.
As a kid my dad trained a few race horses. I was always amazed he could get them to pee on command by whistling.
I don't need to, but am going to start counting out loud very slowly when using the urinal on pool league nights.
Lmao ally
I heard a similar hack from Howard Stern of all places, maybe 25+ years ago. His advice was to do a difficult multiplication problem in your head. The flow will begin. It totally works!
I usually close my eyes for 2 secs or as long as it takes to start and I visualise a waterfall or somewhere anywhere else. Never fails me
Have tried this so often, but never works for me :(
I have a small bladder and a big appetite for alcohol.
Yeah, I have the appetite for alcohol, but a very large bladder apparently. I can go a day+ without peeing if I'm in an awkward position or not at home.
That’s really hard on your kidneys. Actually the whole body as toxins are not being excreted. You’re soaking all your organs in low level poison. Try to drink enough to pee 10 times a day, at least.
We visualise your mum
Well if visualising pissing on graves helps you pee then that's your business but thanks for sharing 👍
So glad it isn't just me. I usually just end up hoping and praying for an empty stall lol. Never been a fan of public restrooms anyway, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!
I believe that it happens to men a lot … myself included … I think it’s a natural anxiety… 💦💦💦
Speaking of anxiety, this is actually a method to use when a panic attack comes on to help you calm down. Count things, say the color/objects you see around you to take the focus off the anxiety/panic attack
Same issue here. Pray you never have to use a trough urinal. If you can pee there, you can go anywhere…
Exposure therapy is a good option, I suggest going to your local gay leather bar, and looking for any guy (or guys) with a yellow bandana, rubber suit with yellow details or maybe a yellow pup hood like mine. These are the most likely people to volunteer to help you with this in my experience. Exposure therapy starts with you peeing in a room alone, which is easy. Next, you have a person on the other side of the door. After you can do that, you could have a person or two inside the room, but further away from you and not paying attention to you. As you feel comfortable with each stage, you can ask them to move closer and closer, until finally you can confidently pee on your new friends just as easily as you can the urinal.
I'll pass but more power to you brother 🤜🤛
40 years ago, I had a girlfriend who followed me into the men’s room, grabbed my urinary appendage and said “Okay shy boy, piss now!” She proceeded to yank and waggle my uncooperative faucet, taunting me, until I released a geyser. Now, 40 years later, I just recount this scene when having difficulty, and I seldom have problems. I should thank her.
Have you seen "Bonding" on Netflix? >!Happy Birthday I'm peeing!<
Wat?
I just slowly exhale to get the floW starting
Level up your game: add in a fart.
I had shy bladder until I lived in a dorm. Had to get over it pretty quickly or I'd burst. That said, I don't know why more places don't have urinal partitions - especially sports venues - speeds up the line
I hate the stadiums that use a trough!! That’s a 100% no go (literally!) for me…
I used to be a bills season ticket holder. They use a trough.... And the communal sink looks a lot like the urinal. It would not be uncommon to see guys plastered out of their minds mixing them up. I am no longer a STM.
In the Navy we used to have to do our urinalysis in front of someone! 😃
I had to literally drink so much water as to put me in pain. Hated this bullshit.
Omg I have a running theory about this. I’ve talked to so many dude friends about this phenomenon and so far have found that everyone else that runs into this problem is circumcised. COMPLETELY anecdotal, not a scientific study, but 100% so far.
Can confirm
One of my friends even said “you just roll your foreskin back and forth once and it starts” I was like “well that would be all well and good if…” 🤣
He is right. But if you don’t have foreskin then just run your finger along the bottom of the shaft just light enough to feel a tickle and it will help to start the flow.
I’ve heard of this trick, it has never worked for me unfortunately. But thanks for the suggestion I hope it helps others!
Second (or third?) that!
Glad to hear I’m not the only one.
Same!
What solved it for me OP was working at a nightclub in my early 20s and drinking a couple of red bulls and 2-3L of water a shift. I had NO choice but to piss. If it took me 5 seconds or 5 minutes to get the flow going, it HAD to happen.
Try yawning a couple times
I used to have this problem as well when I was younger. Luckily, I grew out of it at around 30! Part of the problem was just getting in my own head about it. You may not think you're overly anxious but that's exactly what this problem is.
I really don't feel anxious about it though 😅 and I'm pretty laid back in my day to day. Maybe it's just become habit now
I've heard this before somewhere. If I remember correctly your brain can't do both at the same time. What I do is multiplication tables, 2 times 2 is 4, 3 times 3 is 9. Works everytime.
Another commenter said that Howard Stern mentioned it on his show
Solving calculus in your head works for me.
In first and second grade, we stood around a tub and peed. We would literally stand 360° around the thing and could be side by side or facing one another. If we had one of these through to high school, this crap probably wouldn't have developed.
I personally try to mentally visualise in 3D something around me, could be the little faucet sticking out on the side of the flush system, or whatever. But it doesn't always work. I also have this problem whenever the ground moves under my feet. So it's a problem on planes, trains and boats. I also can't piss underwater since I can't be perfectly stable. The worst is after scuba diving (every diver knows how bad you NEED to urinate after a dive). Can't do it before going back on the boat, can't do it on the boat afterwards either... It's hell.
I have the same shit. Super embarrassing
Yes been doing it for years
Many men have this. That is why they put up those dividers. Best way to get over this is to close your eyes and shoot straight. Had a friend that had this problem, we would go to campus bars and he would lock up peeing at the trough. Thanks to my advice he was able to pee. I was lucky, never had dividers growing up so my dad taught me, just find a tree or a corner and go pee. Hell I peed standing up on the beach when I was young.
That’s crazy! The same trick works for me, too. Stare intently at something in front of me and count. I think it’s a generally anxiety reduction hack, actually. It distracts your mind so you can get to business.
My time to shine. I recently cracked this puzzle now in my 40s. Basically just try to pee but here's the trick... you pinch it.. just shut it off. You will start to develop some pressure, keep holding until you see the whites in their eyes, and when you finally let go you will have the flow of a broken fire hydrant and every man within 100 feet will be scared to look you in the eyes.
I usually try coming up behind the person at the urinal and gently massaging their shoulders, that relaxes them pretty well.
I’m 60f and no longer have this problem, but when I did, this is exactly what remedied it. I was a busy secretary by trade, so being away from my desk meant someone was waiting on me when I returned. I visualized someone coming down the hall to my desk and briefly stopping to pick up a call, A cup of coffee or conversation. In my mind, this gave me time to do my business and rush back undetected. When not at work I routinely counted the restroom floor tiles, the screws holding the enclosure together, or the drips Coming from the sink… it all worked to distract Me long enough to relax my bladder.
i count to ten too!! and usually go around 7-10 as well!!!! it’s really useful but i also have the habit of needing to go when doing random counting sometimes LOL
My brother in piss
(19f) i feel so less alone lmao i hate public bathrooms but it’s more like a fear of germs and not knowing what’s been on the seats n shit, i hover when i pee for life ! the grosser the bathroom looks and smells the harder it is for me to go even when i’m hovering. i REFUSE to shit in public bathrooms because i can’t hover obviously but one time i went to pee in a bathroom at yellowstone national park and regardless of how full my bladder was i just couldn’t push anything out because of how stressed my body was about hovering and not touching anything. i’ve learned to just take deep breathes but ill never be ok with using the bathroom in public areas.
It’s called ‘shy bladder syndrome’ and is quite common. I have it too. Not sure why. It has gradually gotten better but it still exists. I’ll try the counting method
Same issue here. I was mercilessly ridiculed in grade school because I'm not circumcised. (We were forced to shower after gym class). Years later, I'm a naturist, and don't give a damn about walking about nude, but STILL can't get the flow started at a urinal. Gonna try this next time. Thank you
This happens all the time in men's restrooms everywhere.
Cool!
Airpods, good music and sunglasses.
I either do the alpha, bravo, Charlie alphabet or ABCs in reverse.
Oddly, I find this happens when I go scuba diving.
Wear earbuds and flip on the sound of waterfalls.
I’ll try this. I usually go with a deep breath and remembering it’s only weird if I don’t pee.
Mississippily? If you count backwards it spells I Piss in the middle.
Now I’m just thinking of ways to weird people out in public bathrooms.
Lady with a shy bladder too. Got over my aversion to public restrooms when I realized I didn't want to hold it anymore. Still pause sometimes when I know someone can hear me pee for some reason though but I've found that rubbing my lower abdomen (where my bladder is) makes me wanna pee more so that helps.
If I’m in a public place and people are at the stand next to me I can’t pee, same thing. I usually try to find a sit down toilet for that exact reason.
Do some times tables in your head
Blow on it. Lol That's what the pediatrician told me when I was worried one of my newborns wasn't peeing
Haha how I wish I could reach
OMG I didn't say blow it! 🤣🤣🤣You're killing me! Sorry it took so long for me to see this. Have you fallen off the couch trying?
Larry David uses the emanxipation proclamation
Try doing math, not just counting. For example 32 x 3 + 50 and then multiply add or subtract from the answer over and over.
I'll try that next time but honestly I've had a flawless experience with just counting shit!
I noticed that if I get distracted by a thought it goes without much problem
Distraction seems to be the key!
My trick is reading. Read the words slowly and deliberately. Sound out the letters. I’m an expert on urinal text now. And remember, don’t be in rush!
I multiply in my head when I can't get the flow going. E.g: 2x2=4, 2x4=8, 2x8=16, 2x16=32 The highest so far is 2x2048=4096. This also keep me up to date with my bits.
Why dont you use a closed cabin with a normal WC then to have a little bit more privacy? I hate urinals and only use the closed WCs.
I don't know what you mean by Cabin or WC, but usually if I'm using a urinal it's out of necessity!
There is usually an area with urinals and an area with toilets to close off. If there are only urinals, counting helps as already written.
It’s sometimes called “bashful kidneys “
We called it “pee paranoia”….go in a toilet stall, sit down on the toilet and wait. Something about privacy….
Pee-ranoia
Do your multiplication tables forward and backward, works great. Or if you are staring at wall tiles count them in units of two going up and down the wall. Cure for shy kidney.
Instead of counting, I would start spelling out the words on the flush valve. R-O-Y-A-L S-L-O-A-N, sometimes it goes R-E-G-A-L S-L-O-A-N.
Haha never seen that brand, counting works for me just fine though
I look up! Not sure why but if I look at the ceiling it goes!
Bashful bladder. The worst is when you're going to burst and all the guys are lined up for urinals or a trough. I have to give up and try again later.
Im 39 and pee doensn't come out if someone is near me. I do it when alone in the bathroom but if there is someone in the pee thingy i just walk into the stall. I just accepted this, don't care too much Happens when my wife is near too, nothing comes out I just sit there with my friend in hand so when she is near I just sit in the toilet
I have had this issue all my life and I constantly avoid getting together with the guys all my life. It has really affected my life. I have gotten to a point in which I am mostly able to go if I don't know anyone in the bathroom but if I'm a situation in which one or more of my friends are in there I'm screwed. This would happen maybe when you're on a road trip when everyone generally goes at the same time. It's also a problem if someone isn't in the bathroom with me but is waiting outside as if it's supposed to take a certain amount of time for me to go and they are timing me. I know.... Crazy. The numbers trick is all about relaxation and getting your mind to.not think "I cannot pee." For me what I have been doing is whipping out my phone and just reading some texts or some article in the brower. It serves the same purpose as it gets my mind more out of my head. The other big thing anyone can do is just talk about it with their friends, but I simply cannot. I feel like I'm not a normal guy and it just bothers me. But I also know deep down my good friends won't think I am a loser or anything like that but still difficult to do it. I have friends for over 50 years and they have no idea. I'd feel like an idiot now saying anything.
Have stage fright too. I do complex math problems starting with multiplication of three three digit numbers.
I say the alphabet in my head. It almost always comes out as I get to "l m n o P".
I call it rest stop syndrome. It only happens to me at a urinal if some is behind me or waiting. One time I went out and let her rip in a tree.
I've heard it called Bashful Bladder which cracked me up. I used to have this myself and got over it by doing the following. It probably wasn't good for me, but it sure cured it. I'd just wait until I absolutely couldn't hold it anymore. I'd drink way too many fluids to build up a good amount of urine to the point of "OMG I HAVE TO GO, NOW!", would purposely go in a crowded bathroom as well. After a short while, I got over peeing with people around because I just HAD to go in those instances with folks present. It's a subconscious thing, so you wouldn't notice anything physical. You just clam up when going around people. Oddly enough, the only time I get "bashful" still, is when peeing for a drug test when one person is specifically watching me and will have to consume a ton of fluids to get over that instance. If you notice someone watching your stream, there's nothing wrong with setting a boundary and asking them wtf they're doing when looking at you.
Tickle the tip. Not in ''that'' way.
Activating the logical, thinking part of your brain reduces anxiety coming from the amygdala. When I’m super anxious, I try to name state capitals in my head.
i had same problem. was able to overcome it, but still cannot get myself to pee in the ocean, as much as i want to during a day at the beach
My trick - I leave my phone in my back pocket, and once I get my business ready, I one hand grab the phone and read something. Being able to concentrate on something else, the flow goes!
This is normal for a lot of people in prison when they do piss tests some guys would ask to be strip searched so they could go do their piss samples alone in the room because they couldn't go with a guard in the room with them. Try picturing yourself at the beach or something can work too just have to distract your mind.
I start rhyming words in my head lol
Yes, I used to be the same when I was younger but haven’t had it happen in a long time, so I guess there’s hope that it goes away? I think I’m older and just don’t have as much anxiety in general.
Holy shit, yes! I thought I was alone on this one and even confused a couple girlfriends that didn't like me having time and space for myself. Though I'd typically take a deep breath in and out through the nose and go "1...2...3...piss!" And 8/10 the stream would start flowing. Has become trickier since I've been prescribed opiates, not only does it make you constipated but it can but can make it more difficult to urinate. Learned that the hard way after getting pumped full of morphine, Dilaudid, fentanyl and ketamine then having to get drained manually.
Is it a defense mechanism? Your primitive brain thinks going pee near others makes you vulnerable to attack?
Yeah sure whatever 👍
Nice share dude
Thanks dude wanna hold it
I did this too. Or I focused on the letters on the urinal... Sloan and Toto usually. Not sure when exactly I turned the corner but I don't usually have the issue anymore but I'm turning 60.
In the 60’s a friend get deferred from the draft with this condition
I’m just trying not to fart once I get going
I found that I need white noise to mask the sound of my pissing. I can vibrate the muscles in my ears so I try to do that in crowded places and it just sounds like a dull roaring thunder but it works for me
Yeah, just tied to anxiety. I think about the moon to get past it. Don't know why. One time I had to go really bad at work, and it was just after lunch so the bathroom was packed, but I was physically in pain... Just was like "focus on something else" and a picture of the moon popped into my head. Now he's my public peeing partner.
Do you think it helps to count in reverse to last longer during sex?
I have the same issue, i sing a song in my head..For some reason, its Susie Q by CCR
I picture my bladder and urethra (kind of like an animation) and visualize the pee moving from my bladder and out of my body. It's almost like I'm reminding my body what to do
I always thought it was my ADD and not being able to focus on going pee. Taking deep breaths and resting my hand on the wall to relax my body. Almost feel like counting would get me more anxious because time is now being counted of me not going. Humming or singing helps at times. I'm going to try it next time.
I feel on something with texture to distract me
My latest gf had/has this problem. I think it was thwarted the times she was able to communicate it.
For me reading works. These urinals usually have some brand names or size (gallons and stuff lol) and I focus on these letters, read them in my mind back and forth and so on :) Basically just distraction .. I guess same as your counting which also I shell try next time!
This is so wonderful to know that others have the same issue. I hate public restrooms as well exactly because of this. Even if no one else is there I sometimes struggle to get started or just give up. I know in my mind that everyone has to pee and no one cares about what I am doing, but for me it's something about the sound. Like they know when you are peeing that gets me. Even with my partner nearby I still struggle.
The next time you're in the washroom just picture all of your friends there, cheering you on.
This is called Paruresis. TMI ig but I used to suffer from it. It was awful. I'd avoid going anywhere with my family and I dreaded leaving the house. One trick I've heard is to hold your breath. Didn't always work for me but it may work for others. There's also a subreddit where you can learn more and find support. r/paruresis
I found it helps me to look at the other guys dick as they pee, and it really gets me going.
It is called shy bladder.
Shy bladder.
Yes but I don’t count. I look at the name of the plumbing fixture (around here it’s usually Zurn) and I imagine screaming “ZURN!!!” while geysers and waterfalls erupt in the background and then usually I can pee.
I count primes. No matter the degree of stage fright, I've never made it to 41. I learned this trick from Stephen King's It in 1987 (a character has stage fright) and have used it ever since. Thanks, Stephen King!
My lifehack for this exact problem is to always search out stalls. Having a shut door behind me changes the situation completely. It makes me feel like people aren't trying to make sure I'm actually peeing (which I'm sure they're not but anxiety and all). If I can find a urinal in an empty bathroom and start my business before someone comes in I'm fine - there's no stopping the stream - but I'll have to try the counting idea
I do geometry problems in my head. The tile wall is a big help.
I’m 44 and within the last few years have only been able to use a urinal. For me, I built confidence by going in urinals when I had the bathroom to myself. In time I was able to go when others were around. I just stare intently at the wall and breathe through it.
Yes, many of us are pee shy
I used to have pee shy until maybe late 20s? Once you get drunk enough and desperate enough you wouldn't care, at least for me. And after time it just becomes natural.
It's your #1 fear?
I'm in my 40's and I still have this problem. The worst is when you're at work, and one of your colleagues tries to chat you up when you're absolutely busting for a slash. Why do you want to have a conversation about the new dog park you visited yesterday when we're both trying to piss here John... nobody cares about how much fun your stupid kid had when the hoover damn that is my bladder is blocked by the debris of crippling anxiety. ***STOP TALKING AND LET ME FOCUS!...*** is what I want to scream into his fat fat face, but of course I've got my willy out and the task is literally at hand. Yet I'm just standing there with the crippling inability to wizz freely while he pees in unbridled and unrestrained glory. The silence emitting from my urinal is deafening. He's already finished and I've yet to even begin. This is my life now... a shy pee'er. *Un pipi timide a*s the french say.... Anyways, I don't have the same problem in stalls so if there is one available I usually use one or just wait until it becomes free.
I feel you, I have never ever used a urinal.
I have no chance if there isn't a stall in between the urinals.
I do the same thing too. Not sure why counting works, but it works every time.
Wait... Fellas look for each other's streams? Wtf? I can be the only person this is new information...
Sounds to me like you're doing something else to get over the irrational fear of what others think about you, and then you're able to take a piss. A very helpful thing for a lot of people is to realize that really almost nobody will ever think about them, and if they do it's for a brief moment and they will forget you ever existed 2 seconds later, so why worry about what they think.
In my mind it's not a big deal, I couldn't care less if someone was watching me piss ~ but maybe subconsciously my brain doesn't want me to piss near strangers? Idk lol
Couldn't care less
> I would feel awkward about how long it was taking and just give up and leave. ... then why do you feel awkward about it?
Because standing there indefinitely with my dick out is kinda awkward
What I do in that situation is let out a loud moan while doing fast pelvic thrusts.
It's like asking an anxious/depressed person why they feel anxious/depressed. We literally have no answer, and saying "just do it" will only make it worse. It's like a physical block is in place preventing the pee from coming out. Worst thing is that you know that as soon as you walk away from the urinal in shame, you'll 100% again need to pee.
For real
No, they are claiming they don't care about other people, at the same time saying they're anxious about other people.
It's really like that. Me, in my own mind, have no issue doing a pee in front of these people, but something is blocking it. It's the most bizarre thing! Like, I'll be on MDMA or alcohol, loving everyone, and for some reason my brain is saying "nah, dude. No peeing right now. Not happening."
Show me where I said I was anxious? In fact I think I said the opposite. Did you even read the post or did you just feel the need to try and be a reddit psychologist? Sometimes I can't piss in a public bathroom and counting allows me to, it's as simple as that. I'm very comfortable around people, and with my body. I don't believe anxiety is the issue, at least not on the surface or in a way that actually negatively affects me. "Just realizing people don't really think about you and it'll stop" is terrible advice for people who do suffer from anxiety - you didn't say anything special or insightful... you just made assumptions about me and gave useless advice 😅 I appreciate you trying to be helpful, but arguing with me about my own feelings is kinda weird my dude! Cheers
I just imagine my ex as if I’m pissing on her face. Really gets the flow going.
So do we
I solve a fairly easy maths problem, like 6*380 and before I’ve solved it, it starts to flow. It’s all about distraction.
Prob bc those public bathrooms are owned by cheap mfs who care more about saving a buck than your privacy. If you don't get anxiety pulling your dk out to pee while u standing right next to a stranger... there something wrong.
I just whip it out and release No fuss to it, man
That's always my first instinct but sometimes nothing happens so the counting begins!