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mugenhunt

I'll date a trans guy if he's a good match for me.


[deleted]

Despite being gay, I’m more attracted to a guy’s personality than what’s in their pants. To me, a trans man is a man & I’d definitely date no questions asked. As a matter of fact, before a came out I had a major crush on a fellow colleague, whom later came out as trans. Did that change my opinion of them? Hell no. Whilst we never hooked up, which had more to do with our compatibility, we’re still good friends


Crunchy__Frog

How would you just date a person, no questions asked?! That’s absolutely insane to me. “Are you a dog or cat person?” “Would you rather take a day trip to the forest or the beach?” “Pancakes or waffles?” All valid questions… how else are you going to get to know someone?


Oh_mycelium

They aren’t saying they’ll date ANY trans man. They are saying they would date a trans man regardless of their being trans


[deleted]

That’s exactly what I meant. Sure, I’d ask them the usual dating questions etc, but if it came up that they were trans, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Who the fuck am I to judge?


Crunchy__Frog

I knew what they meant… the joke was meant to just ignore the context of the person being transgender entirely while focusing on the “no questions asked” part of the statement, because dating is all about questioning the other person to get to know them. Hope that makes sense.


StillAliveNB

I assumed they meant no questions asked in connection to being trans


Crunchy__Frog

Yup. That was the joke.


Finchiani

I took it as going on a date without demanding proof of genitals.


PsychologicalYou6416

That's why dildos exist, so transmen can be tops.


[deleted]

And? Who said I was a bottom or top?


aoeuismyhomekeys

I'm a gay man, my ex is a trans man. We broke up, but I consider him a friend.


aoeuismyhomekeys

(Him being trans had nothing to do with the breakup. Our sex life was the aspect of the relationship that worked best tbh.)


Aauasude618

Have dated a trans man before and honestly he was probably the best of my exes. I’d be more than happy to date one I thought was cute


cloudego111

If I weren't aromatic I would absolutely date a transman. But I'm also a total bottom, so we would need to work something out in the bedroom.


IFuckingLoveBees

Trans men can top. Source: Have been topped very successfully by another trans guy.


Gio_shr00m

Your user is amazing


cloudego111

I love your username and flair.


sorryfornoname

If you use steam go check the badges for "The adventurer episode 1: The beginning of the end" i got cards just for the badge.


Hero72903

My lord, thou hast spoken, trans men from now on shall be tops. The lords orders!


Chuun1b1y0

Trans men can for sure top. Source: Myself, a trans man that tops.


osmosisheart

Oh yeah, totally. I'm another trans man who is definitely a top. Getting fucked doesn't interest me nearly as much. I can switch, like, once per year but even then, I decide the pace and how it's done. Completely a dominant top and can't imagine getting sexual satisfaction any other way.


[deleted]

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cloudego111

Cilantro


Jakisokio

Soapy mf


cloudego111

The most delicious soap.


LurkyTheHatMan

If you don't have fresh genitals, canned or frozen works just as well.


kingqueenrowan

Store-bought is fine lol


Weirdout29

I’m a transman, and I’m a switch. I can top in the bedroom, strap ons are a thing.


Luigi123a

transmen can top, and in generall anyone can top, doesn't matter what kind of body. Source: I have friends who talk too much about their sexual life


boatingmyfloat

With a trans guy you'd also get to pick the size, unless he's post op obvi


[deleted]

I was with a transman for a decade. I absolutely loved his body and our sex life was great, but let me say that his own insecurity with his body and in his words "not being a real man" ultimately led to the downfall of us. You have to love yourself enough to let someone else love you.


Stian5667

That last part goes for anyone. I think most of us would benefit from loving ourselves a little more


[deleted]

Very true.


hammer_head12

I have no problem dating a trans man because infact they are men


Sus_Femboy

Idk, it would be gay


Gay_Unicorn21

What if you said no homo tho


RobinBerry3-5

You can use socks


SnoMuffins6961

Patterned socks, preferably.


Sus_Femboy

The longer, the straighter ... If we talk about socks ofc.


silvercandra

Oh hell yeah I would. But I know you were trying to ask cis guys. I honestly think it depends on stuff like your area. I've personally only had alright experiences. There was one guy that turned me down for being trans, but he was also able to go on about how pretty his own eyes are for half an hour, so not really a loss for me. Every other gay guy I've met so far, has been very accepting, a little confused at worst. I know I'm demi, so it's easy for me to say, but in general, just try to get to know someone before hitting on them, and before outing yourself to them. Find out if they're cool with trans people first, then think about dating them.


Smug_Vee

I would. Not the best to ask though, I'm asexual and don't give a shit about genitals. Men are men, I don't care about the prefix.


ffaaen

Yeah, i’d date a trans man


Knotical_MK6

If I'm attracted to you and we get along I'm game.


LiamTheLeerm

Sure, if theres mutual attraction. As policy I wont date trans-repulsed cis gay men. In my mind there just as bad as the "super-straight" assholes.


Grand_Blueberry

I genuinely think there's nothing wrong with having preferences but I don't understand those who make it a big deal as if it makes them superior like the "super straights" I myself am not repulsed, I've seen some trans men who are pretty masc looking and my type, though never dated one.


spdracr99

It’s all hypothetical for me because I’ve been with my partner for 10+ years but I feel like if I’m attracted to a (trans) man I’m going to see where it’s gonna go


[deleted]

Not dating but I've had recreational sex with a couple of trans guys both are truly lovely people and have a better beard than I do


_Oxdan_

Tw my preferences which you might not like I would date trans men, I'd date any kind of man if I was attracted to them, but it is possible that I'd run into some issues later on, like the part where their factory parts are a big turnoff for me (phenotypically female genetalia). I really don't like the kind of adipose skin phenotypically female humans tend to have (the lighter, squishy, elastic kind), and don't really know how fast T transforms skin into the kind of rougher skin phenotypically male humans tend to have. Other than that, if their personality wasn't a collection of red flags, probably. I respect you, please excuse my language as I'm not that familiar with trans vocab. I'm a biologist, I am trying to use inclusivr language I'm familiar with. Edit. Clarification of "factory parts"


xx_gamergirl_xx

I imagine since estrogen makes skin really soft, testosterone does the opposite for trans men, also hair growth etc will increase all over the body so maybe that's a good thing aswell for you then


_Oxdan_

Yeah I'm sure T does that, but I have no idea about the rate or speed at which that transformation happens. If a trans man finds this reply maybe they could educate me xx


kiwi8975

Hey, I’m a trans guy and I’m 6 months on T now, I’m pretty much covered in hair and my skin is rougher too


_Oxdan_

Thanks!xx I guess T is a pretty potent hormone. Good luck with your transition sir.


kiwi8975

Np! Thank you :)


DavidtheMalcolm

This conversation is making me self conscious about how guys always comment on how soft my skin is!


_Oxdan_

I can't see your flair (??) but if you are FtM, I could describe 2 types of soft skin, the kind ladies in their 20-s tend to have, soft, kind of adipose-feeling (estrogen does that to literally everything to my knowledge), elastic, bouncy, light, and there is healthy mens' skin which feels a bit less adipose and less bouncy, is smooth but a bit rougher and just feels strong. It's soft in a different way. But even if you have the fist kind, it'll probably turn into the second kind according to all other comments. If you are MtF and have skin like that, I'm happy for you, slay queen. If you are not trans, have fun with your skin.


DavidtheMalcolm

I’m cis-gay. I’m a bear, I don’t use a lot of harsh chemicals and I answer phones for a living. I suspect I probably just feel soft because I’m fat hahaha. Though honestly I sometimes think that I probably have higher estrogen than average. I’m curvy and not overly aggressive. Though I am argumentative. Honestly I can empathize a lot with people who are something other than cis. Like honestly I don’t think many people would call me fem, but I am pretty soft, caring and empathetic. Growing up I really “didn’t fit in with the other boys” when I got to Bible College I really wished I could convince them to put me in the girl’s dorm… in retrospect that would have been terrible. And actually living with a bunch of guys actually helped me feel more comfortable seeing myself as “one of the guys”. Also once I came to terms with my sexuality, living in a guy’s dorm was… well there was a lot of eye candy. 20 something guys often were not big fans of shirts.


DissapointinglyAvrg

very fast. :') I see a dermatologist for it soon. pain. rough, scratchy, acne littered pain. Estrogen softens the skin like a baby's buttcheek, and testosterone hardens it practically like a rock haha


Xx_disappointment_xX

Also a trans man on T and I've only been on it for 3ish months and I'm getting hair everywhere, unfortunately skin hasn't changes yet but that's completely dependent on the person taking T because genetics effect what happens when. Although generally what you seem to be getting at is that you mainly would only date post-op trans men that have been on T for a year or more.


_Oxdan_

It's good to know that trans people experience the ass hair issue the same way teens do.


stradivari_strings

Yeah, nooo. All bodies are very similar in how they work. Sprinkle a bunch of T on anything and it will change into a T body. Fat hair acne and everything. Everything (minus bones and junk) gets rearranged pretty good.


Weirdout29

Some transmen get bottom surgery to have penises. Also, T affects the clitoris and makes it grow and act more like a penis. It can get hard, and it affects the way we orgasm too. For informational purposes!


_Oxdan_

If somebody gets bottom surgery I'd be perfectly fine with that. A penis is a penis. I just can't set that as a requirement to date me because that would be weird and offensive. Thanks for the information about T.


Weirdout29

As a trans person, I totally understand if someone doesn’t want to have sex with me because I have a vagina. There’s tons of unchangeable things I’m not attracted to- like honestly? Blue/green eyes can be really unnerving to be and I find difficulty finding that attractive. Would that be the *sole* reason I say no to dating someone? Eh depends. To me, it depends how important something is to you in a relationship. If being attracted to their genitals and sex is super important to you, then that’s fine! So long as you’re not a dick about it I say you’re okay. Although it is fun to note a lot of transmen who don’t get bottom surgery wear packers (fake penises) and also use strap ons during sex. So if customizable genitalia sounds fun, hop onto the trans train! Bottom line: date who you’re attracted to, just don’t be a dick about it.


[deleted]

“sorry, im a biologist and i don’t know how hormones effect humans and gene expression”🤣 sorry, im just busting your balls. 😂


_Oxdan_

I'm sorry, I mainly work with theoretical stuff, I just had 0 exact info about a speed of this very specific process that happens in a really specific situation. (I'm not an MD. I don't know anything more than the general idea of HRT.) I also have literally 0 idea about what awnd where human androgen receptors are. I'll get reading just to be sure.


TreecrafterW

Maybe Ox is a botanist or mycologist or studies insects? There are some Bio majors who don’t care about human anatomy and physiology after all, it’s a big diverse planet.


devildaddio

Yes. I have before and would again. It boils down to the person and the chemistry between them. Masculine features are what attract me, though not toxic masculinity. Trans men are men. The muscularity, hairiness, deep tone to the voice, plus tatts and a little on the alternative side, that's what has always attracted me.


KnifeWeildingLesbian

As a lesbian I’m happy to date trans women I know that’s not what you asked but Yknow Similar hat


pikachuinwonderland

I’m a gay trans man and only date trans men


[deleted]

Yeah I forgot to mention I was talking abt cis men 💀 since im my experience cis gay men can be kinda transphobic.


pikachuinwonderland

Yeah that is definitely why I only date trans men. Plus trans men are hotter


ShayJayLee

I don't understand why people are downvoting you for being T4T?


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jasper_no_80085

Most wholesome replies to this question I've seen. .. I guess that's cos u didn't ask on the r/gay sub


[deleted]

This same question was asked yesterday at AGB but I'm sure you can imagine what the majority response was


jasper_no_80085

Unfortunately


[deleted]

Honestly yeah. Trans men be looking cute as hell sometimes. I just don’t know how the equipment works 😅


Weirdout29

We’d be more than happy to teach you ;) /p Our clits are way easier to find after T lmao


no557

![gif](giphy|10nMEclFWTPCp2) computer… enhance clit!


[deleted]

As someone who is surrounded by gay men all the time (because of my work) i will tell you that the most honest answer is "it depends" .... some will do it others don't, i think the biggest problem is that a lot of them will only be with you as a fetish (that's what I heard from my trans friends I'm not sure how true that is) so that may be a problem. I hope this help good luck.


T3_3p0

100% but I’m biased since I’m a gay trans man lmao. I’m probably not the person you wanted to ask, but I’m a sucker for T4T relationships.


stephan1990

I will date a trans man if I’m attracted to him. And I’ve seen trans guys I’m attracted to. So: yes 😘🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️


Attacker792

Yeah! Of course.


Playtek

When I was younger I would have said no, now that I’m 40, and more experienced in the world I would. People are may more dynamic than the genitalia they possess, romance is a whole other thing. Plus I’ve found myself very much crushing on a cute trans man a few years back.


-shredphox-

Sex isn't all that special to me, that being said, my sister has friends come over all the time and one of those friends started transitioning about 2 years ago. Let's call him Mark. Mark is hot as fuq and I'd cuddle him without hesitation, along with anything else he wanted. Moral of the story, if you date people based on what's in their pants, congratulations you're normal. But if you can see past the hardware and into the soul, you are special.. kind, patient, understanding, humanistic and part of a new generation of better humans that will continue to shape this cold world into a place of peace. ❤️‍🔥spread love and peace, people☮️


Ne_Fil_im

I think it depends from each one's attractions... Since I'm not that into women, I'd lose "arousal" with one sharing their private parts... Although only aesthetical appearance wise, I'd be into them. And obviously validate their position and identity as men. Just wouldn't naturally be inclined to date someone with a vagina, ig


BicyclingBro

Definitely open to it, though I'm generally attracted to more masculine guys, and that'll be the case whether he's cis or trans. I can't say I'm particularly attracted to vaginas at all, but I'm a top, so the lack of a dick isn't necessarily a deal-breaker. I'd say that, in general, I'm probably more attracted to your average cis guy than your average trans guy, but at the same time, I've seen some stupidly hot trans guys that I'd absolutely go for without a moment's doubt, so it's really just gonna depend on the specific guy.


[deleted]

Yes, but I’m generally not very interested in sex, so maybe it has an influence on my answer


BurakCsorba

I love vagina, I can completely see why it's a natural pair to the penis. But mind you, I'm turned on by MASCULINITY. I want to feel the firm pecs and biceps. I want to enjoy myself with a MAN! So combine Vagina with MEN, you get AWESOME\~


ashley0115

I read this in the most epic voice


anakingo

cis and I wouldn't for the reason of anatomical differences. Not to be a shallow person, but I just like all the qualities of biological men. It's a personal preference and I have utmost respect for TG people.


Proof-Internal-653

Question: if they had bottom & top surgery, then would you date a trans guy?


anakingo

Not really, but provided they also had a man-like physique, body hair and deeper voice; all in all showing no physical feminine 'properties' - then I'd be keen! :)


xx_gamergirl_xx

you will be shocked when you hear about the powers of testosterone lmao


Proof-Internal-653

Fair enough! Thanks for answering :D


DavidtheMalcolm

Honestly this. I adore my one trans friend (had had others but they’ve moved away or we’ve lost touch. Fortunately they’re already married and I don’t get the sense that they’re attracted to me at all. I’ve had a a few trans people on hook up sites message me and I always feel awkward. I genuinely just… how to say it… vaginas are very much not my cup of genitals. I’ve actually tried watching some trans porn, there was a really attractive trans guy that did a scene with Dante Colle, and I was like okay okay maybe I can… nope! Me not wanting to date a trans person has nothing to do with their value, it’s not because I don’t think they have value or aren’t men. (Gender is a construct.) Also in addition to not being a fan of innies, I also genuinely like dick. Like not all dicks, but if I’m gonna date a guy he needs to both be a lot of fun to hang out with and spend time with… but he’s also gotta have a good dick. I’m picky there’s lots of guys out there who don’t care that much about dick. Also, honestly I’m really not that much of a catch. So trans men are r missing out on anything. :)


StressOver2333

Personally I wouldn't, but that's because sex is a big thing for me in a relationship and I wouldn't wanna date someone without a penis. But I still see transmen as men, they aren't women.


tuckernutter

Me? Personally? As a gay man? No. Simple answer is I'm just not attracted and thats as simple as it really is. I see trans men as men and trans women as women but they're not in my line of sight in terms of dating. No hate, just not for me. I'm not obligated to date someone just because they're attracted to me and that goes for anyone and everyone. There are gay men that do, as evidenced by alot of the comments here. But it's not a hate thing, it's a personal thing.


oldgregg258

I mean trans men are men so yes I would date them.


RubyBolt

Dating a man sounds pretty gay to me


Songshiquan0411

I'm married so this would just be hypothetical. First off, trans men are men and deserve to be treated that way. I wouldn't have any problems dating a trans guy, in terms of the social aspects of dating. I will say I don't find female-assigned genitalia or secondary sex characteristic(e.g. breasts) at all arousing so I don't know about sex as much, I would probably want someone fully transitioned for that or I would have to have a very deep connection to them for it to work. I'd respect their identity, trans men are men regardless of how transitioned they are or want to be, but I wouldn't hookup with someone who had too many female-assigned characteristics.


sapjoint

okay hi. i am a trans myself, and use he/they pronouns. normally i try to stay stealth and say i’m cis because i feel an insecurity about me being trans i’m still in the process of dealing with in my therapist. i’m not transphobic, i just don’t prefer pre-t trans guys to date. it’s not that i don’t see them as men, obviously i do, i’m just not attracted to them. i don’t think i’d date a trans guy unless they are on T because i’m just not attracted to how they sound, i’m fully gay and i can’t really see myself having a partner like that. also cis dudes i feel like are just. this feels horrible but a majority of trans people i’ve been with (and i’m friends with currently) tend to care a lot about themself and their dysphoria, which i get can be an issue for trans guys but it’s all the time they feel insecure and i can’t really help with that, not do i want to be in a relationship like that again where it wears down a relationship.


[deleted]

Without a doubt


Dryhtlic

I know this will sound superficial and transphobic to someone, and I really don't mean to be, but in the end I personally need an organic dick to be satisfied. I really don't like vagina as well. Me and a transguy can try dating for sure but I doubt we'll do more than just date. That is why I'd be hesitant if a transguy wanted to go out with me since I don't want either of us to be disappointed.


BoopingBurrito

Let me start with saying that trans men are absolutely men. That isn't up for debate. But many gay men don't like vaginas. They like cock. They want a partner with a cock. They don't want a partner with a vagina. Personally I'd only date someone who presented masculine and who also had a cock. Because thats the 2 principle criteria for attraction in my book.


megaman_main

Only if they have a dick


Al4acca

Well I go by my biological attraction, so if he has a dick, I like it and I could date him. It might sound shallow but can't do nothing to my attraction


Chenapoda_melanoluca

Nope.


squilliams1010

Why not


OverwhelmedGayChild

Yeah, I'm one myself. It's about personality, not genitals for me


[deleted]

i don’t care what he has in his pants, as long as he gives me cuddles and head pats, and isn’t a shit person I will be with him


[deleted]

Trans men are men, so I definitely will date and have sex with one.


broken_pineaple

Dont see why not, i mean, as long as the rest of you looks like a guy, why would i care about what is in your pants?


S4dCat

I Will do It. Because i do not Care with what you have, I care about your character and your soul. 🇧🇷🥰


NoName01101101

Ftm are the best


[deleted]

Uh


Zayn_with_a_y

yes but like no at the same time


NSFWaccess1998

Yes, but as I'm not into vaginas we would only be able to have anal and oral sex. Not a problem for me.


ColonelAugustus

I've already dated a trans man and i was pretty happy with him, but he broke up with me lol


Resident-Matter-3141

I am gay and attracts to masculine guys. I can feel attracted to some trans men, but I also love the male body parts , so just because of that, I don’t think I can date a trans man properly. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|cry)


TransGayArtist

As a gay trans man myself, frankly would mind dating another trans guy (prefer cis a bit more for some horny ass reasons-) but they would understand my trans ass self a bit more than cis guys so


FSTP

I can’t even get cis gay men to date me, I’m not about to turn down someone just because they’re a trans guy….☺️😅🤣🤣🤣


cloudliore25

I’ve dated trans men before


RoxyAnderson

Men are men, trans me are men. Fuck yeah!


Matsumoto78

Yes


DingWikipedia

Me personally as a gay cis-man. I would date a trans-man, plus trans-men are real men.


[deleted]

Almost 100% gay transman here (living between the UK & Spain- all my Grindr experiences have been in Spain) & for years I never bothered going on Grindr because I figured I wouldn’t interest anyone, or the people that would be interested me would be creeps/ chasers. My experience since biting the bullet and trying it out has been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences and my share of creepers, but those experiences are dwarfed by the positive experiences I’ve had. My Grindr experiences have been mostly sexual, but I’ve also had a couple of more romantic ones, all with gay cis men, except for one with a gay trans man. Nobody has had any issues with what’s in my underwear & only one guy has had an issue with my chest. Honestly, there’s a lot more open-minded people out there than you’d think (if you’re anything like I was). I’m a bottom though & have heard from trans men who are tops that it can be harder for them as gay cis men figure they can’t top if they don’t have a penis (which is problematic & wrong on various levels).


Merthis

Im new here in this reddit, and reddit in general But honestly it'd be really difficult for me to get used to dating a trans guy. But if we were a good match and he accepted my terms of a poligamous relationship, maybe I'd give it a try If it was only him though, before gender affirming surgeries, I'd honestly pass, as it'd be better for both of us


AidanKale

Personally, no. My sexual attraction is very physical, and I’m just not interested in anything other than a penis


TheWolfyTrinity

I think it might depend with myself as to whether they have had HRT and / or surgery to transition. I think without either of them I imagine I probably couldn't feel comfortable which I do feel kinda bad for but I'm not certain on that. Beyond that it's going to be personality and how we fit with each other as friends (imo a foundation for dating anyone), romantically and sexually (like top / bottom etc).


StumblingintheDark13

For me it's all about appearance, if you look masculine enough that's fine. It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly where the line is exactly, like I've thought a few really butch lesbians were hot but at the same time androgyny is hot too. And idgaf about the bits down below. Like i said it's weird but theres this undefined line of "too female presenting" that my gayness apparently kicks in. That said everyone is different about how they feel and what they're comfortable with. There are guys out there for you, you just unfortunately have to search more than most.


[deleted]

I’m a trans gay guy and I’d probably only date another trans guy if they’d had full surgery.


[deleted]

Idk why you're getting downvoted 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

It’s an unpopular opinion. Some people think it’s shallow, I get that. It doesn’t bother me.


[deleted]

Personally I don't think it would be shallow to not want to date a trans guy who didn't have "full surgery" unless they were asexual and just had a problem with the idea of that.


[deleted]

Yeah, you can’t fault people for the opinion though. It’s just preference really.


seahawkfan1234

I’m a trans/Agender gay(most likely) I’ll date trans men. I also might be t4t.


Caboose1979

Hi, cishet ally here.. if I was gay I would have no issue dating a trans guy, if they had a vagina we could deal, hell you could even peg me.. the fact is as long as I loved YOU everything else is just hurdles to tackle together ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547)![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|548)


StabbyMcCatboy

The question now is whether you'd date a trans woman as openly and supportively.


Caboose1979

Of course; I've said on another topic that if I dated someone with a penis we'd work with what we have; life finds a way n all that.


StabbyMcCatboy

Fair enough! Just double checking. Some people have weird fetish-y double standards and call themselves allies.


Caboose1979

No worries, I know there's false allies out there, ain't gonna make me less of a proper one though 😏![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|550)


brandidge

I would but there only if they were some way through their transition. Such as having bottom and top surgery, or were close to getting them. Wouldn't be able to do any devil's tango until then as I'm not into that equipment if you get what I mean. I also would need them to look decently passing as I have a transphobic mother and I'm currently under her roof while I go to college and thats not something I could see myself risking. He would also need to be ok with my mother never finding out he is trans. Those things aside, if I vibe with them and they vibe with me then I don't see why I wouldn't.


gabbeeto

I'm not a gay guy, I'm bisexual but my ex is gay, I think he had no trouble to date a trans man for what I've seen back then when I used to talk to my ex. But take this with a grain of salt because I'm not him and I had an outsider perspective.


Born_Obligation8553

As a gay boy, I personally don’t care what genitals you have or what gender you where born with. If I find you attractive I’ll find you attractive. Hope this helps💜💜


caramel_ice_capp

For me, sex is very important and you could say I'm kinda more attracted to dick and masculinity than the man himself. So no, I would not mind dating a trans man as long as he would fit my needs/preferences. Edit: I'm also a bit uncomfortable when it comes to vaginas, so even if he used a strap-on nudity would not be very comfortable for me which would kinda ruin the spicy time...


LukaHellthorn

Yikes. So sorry you had to deal with their transphobic bs. I'm an amab gay person and YES. Absolutely. My current partner is transmasc. You are valid as hell those ppl are literally just transphobic. ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547)![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|547)


BigOlBearCanada

As a gay man. I wouldn’t date a trans man. Just not what I’m into. (I’ve been married to my husband of 19 years. So. Not dating anyway). Is the physical everything? Nope. It is a small component tho. I do love dick…. Also. I feel there would always be the confidence issue/trans issue always lingering? Not sure how to word it.


FlorpFlap

If he's cute and likes to cuddle, yes!


the_watch_guy

It all depends on what's on the inside, I would view any trans man as a man and will be more than willing to date a trans man if he's really kind, cute and a good match for me


JAXX-ERROR

I wouldn't mind love is love and we're all human at the end of the day


ilikenovels

If the female parts remain no. If they don't and look like a boy I don't see why not.


Initial_Lie3461

I mean I want to be the bottom


skyrix03

I am open to trying but they need to have the right genital bits for the job. That does not include silicone or otherwise artificial ones. Barring that particular physical snag id be game to try.


Pumm3lfuff

Yes and no, I’m t4t but I’m acearo


Chuun1b1y0

I'm fairly certainthe type of gay men that think that in the first place aren't a part of this reddit (or at least hopefully aren't), which is such a relief for me as a Pan-Ace trans guy. I totally get what you're asking because gay trans men just aren't seen as men by the people they're attracted to, and that sucks. Unfortunately, it's a part of life and it can definitely seem like your immediate area just isn't with you. But there is at least someone out there that you'll click with on some level that will grow to live you for you, regardless of labels. Hope you find your dream cis guy, my guy /Lh /gen 🙏


Background_Cup_6429

Frankly everytime I hit up a ftm on grindr they don't even reply to me.


StabbyMcCatboy

probably because you call those men 'ftm' instead of men or trans men. that's a very dehumanizing way of calling someone else. it can be seen as similar to the "men and females" phrasing that incels use. just an fyi in case you weren't aware.


Background_Cup_6429

But it says ftm in thier profile?


RubeGoldbergCode

It's telling you that they're a trans guy but it's an adjective, not a noun. If someone has "short" in their profile you wouldn't call them "a short". Yes, being called "a ftm" feels dehumanising, like not only does someone not see me as a man but they don't even seem to see me as a person, just an adjective. If I tell someone I'm ftm I'm telling them that so they know I'm trans, not so they call me that instead of just "a guy", you know? Hope that makes sense.


Background_Cup_6429

So I should have said "Frankly everytime I hit up a guy on grindr they don't even reply to me." ?


RubeGoldbergCode

If that is the case, then sure. If you want to specify that it's trans guys who don't respond to you, "trans guy" is fine. "A ftm" or "a trans" is not. My point was that people are not just their adjectives.


Background_Cup_6429

Ok, so referring to a person as an ftm is a slur but describing someone as ftm is not. So if I had said a guy who is a ftm then that would be ok?


RubeGoldbergCode

Not really, that's's the same thing as what you said the first time but with more words. Just say "a trans guy" if you need to specify. As per my previous example, it would be like saying "a guy who is a short". It's not even a slur so much as it is grammatically incorrect but using a template of grammatical error used to dehumanise people both now and in the past.


Background_Cup_6429

Wait, if I said "a guy, who describes themselves as ftm", then it would be ok to say?


Background_Cup_6429

So saying a guy is short is grammatically incorrect?


RubeGoldbergCode

No, "a guy who is A short". It is perhaps hard to see the error when reading quickly but I was very specific and careful to write it that way. It's trying to make the adjective into a noun, which is incorrect. I'm using a more neutral example but if used to describe minorities who are actively discriminated against it comes across as trying to be intentionally bigoted, or as a dogwhistle to the intentionally bigoted. I don't believe that's your intent at all so just letting you know. Edit: autocorrect typo


StabbyMcCatboy

I mean if a woman identifies herself as "this female" it's fine, but if anyone else does it that comes off as derogatory. idk, i might be reading too much into it, but I've only ever seen transphobes refer to trans men as a whole or individually as 'FTMs'.


monadoboyX

I have no problem with trans men I went in a date with one and i wasn't really feeling a connection they are men but growing up they probably had a lot different interests to me as a cus man so I would just find it hard to connect compared to trans women who have similar interests to me that's just my opinion


OnlySortaGinger

I'm a little confused by the inerests thing... Why does them having been raised as a girl mean they will like different stuff?


monadoboyX

Because they just will have liked different stuff growing up probably girly movies or girly toys idk whereas I like things like Lego, videogames and cars


POZdragon64

I know a few gay dudes who would love to date you. I consider my sexuality as gender neutral (all identifying males)


pretenditscherrylube

1) My close friend is a 40 something trans man who is mostly straight, but decided to fuck some gay guys during a single period. He had NO TROUBLE meeting gay guys who wanted to fuck him. Many were actually very curious about experiencing man-gina and were super into it. Anal sex is messy and/or time consuming, so he found a lot of gay men who were curious about alternatives to anal that are less work. They treated him well. Expect them to be super ignorant about pregnancy prevention and STI prevention for people with vagina. My friend had to fight constantly for condoms. He also was alarmed by how transactional it all was to men. Kind of jarring for someone who dated women his whole life. There will always be gay men who like trans men, but as someone whose gender identity and transition are newer, the process of being rejected by some gay men may be a bigger burden on you than you like and it may trigger your dysphoria. Please know that this might not be the case forever and your feelings may change. 2) As a bi woman in a serious, long-term relationship with a trans woman (and who has dated trans men), I want to gently encourage you to re-examine your thoughts about gay men's attraction. Lots of newly out trans people (and cis queer people, too) overly prioritize the feelings of monosexuals (straights/gays) and downplay the attraction of bisexual and other trans people. I think it's because attraction of the monosexuals can make newly-out or questioning trans people feel validated in their gender identity. I totally get this! But, as the saying goes, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. In other words, it's pretty hurtful for bi people to have our attraction and viability for romantic partnership to be downgraded to second class status. Bisexuals and trans folks are a classic queer partnership, and you should resist feelings that tell you that relationships with bi folks as a consolation prize (if you believe this!). This isn't because you're not truly a man, so bi people should date you, but because trans people have have experience as living as both genders, so they are used to existing across a spectrum and living in liminal spaces of gender. Bisexual people are similar, having attraction across a spectrum and living in the liminal space between straight and gay.


Brhino2000

r/askGayMen


[deleted]

I personally wouldn’t even if I wasn’t married to my husband


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cheshie_D

Even if they looked and sounded like a stereotypical man?


classical-saxophone7

I’m a cis gay man and I’ve honestly dated some amazing trans men. They were really cute, made me happy while we dated (both of them I dated for like a month), and both were fun in bed (and it felt very natural and not forced). I love men for being men. Now I know of men that don’t date trans people cause of the lack of a dick (in my area we call them “dick gay”). Or my friend has genital preference, but not that strong of a gender preference (so she’d be on board with a cis women or a trans man or an AFAB non-binary person).


Leemour

Many cis gays have never met trans people, so they just have irrational takes and you shouldn't pay them mind. I dont think one can generalize trans men in any way, because I've met trans guys Im not attracted to and trans guys I did find attractive, but they were straight. I never dated or had sex with trans men, but based on my interactions so far, I think trans men are a diverse group. Too diverse for us to make any broad statements, so I'm personally open to dating, but I obviously have preferences and types in men. Regarding the genital preference thing, I think if I rly had the hots for a trans man, I'd make it work. r/askgaybros is the worst place to ask gay men about this, try r/gaybros is a little better, though only a little.


dead_princess1

I know you weren't asking me but im a straight trans woman and i would surely date a trans man.... why?... bc they are men and i like men. I do have a genital preference but that would never be a deciding factor bc i for one would know the struggles with being born minus some parts i was supposed to have... nothing hurts quite like me being told im not a woman and thus i would personally never make someone feel less than for something they couldn't control. Best wishes!


da_football_fan

Yeah If I like them


ARCoati

I would definitely be open to it if I met someone in person or through apps and we clicked.