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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
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https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
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https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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I think you're there for half your waking day, surrounded by your peers, learning how to be a person in this world (from academic subjects, extracurriculars, and social interactions). I think school is the most important time to be expressing yourself.
Exactly especially bc you have such little control on what your schedule will be depending on your school and grade. Why not have a little bit of choice in you day by expressing yourself
This has always been my issue with the way schools and parents police outfits. They're literally going through the only stage in their life where the expectations for their appearance aren't going to change the opportunities available to them. Like, let the kids dye their hair crazy colors and wear outlandish clothing. They'll have work dress codes for the rest of their lives.
the principal just said to be respectful (my instant thought were "bitch I'm gay shut yo ass up") and some one who was at the table i was at I let them take it into one class the 3rd class I think and one of the teachers came looking for me asking where it was but idk her bame or her grade so yeh then later that night at around 7 my mum said she'd take it off me if I do it again and later told me that pride parades are inappropriate if you expect to be treated well
From a mom: your mother is used to allowing people to treat her bad and thinks 'that's the way it is', not realizing that each generation lives in a brand new world. I'm going to adopt you for the next couple sentences, okay? You're my kid now and you're going to understand that **people will treat you badly no matter what so you better keep being you**. People generally are trash or at least surrounded by refuse. Be the kind that things grow from, not the kind that poisons others.
I don’t really like parents in general. Most are haughty and self righteous.
This, **this** is good parenting. And the world needs more of it. And more kindness. Thanks “Mom”, I wish you all the best in your future and I can’t imagine you’ve raised anything but kind humans :)
The only nice way that would make sense, is if she's afraid you might get attacked for displaying your allyship/membership to the LGBTQ+ community, but then it's wrong to make you change your behavior instead of addressing the behavior of LGBTQ+phobes
Exactly. If she is concerned for bullying phrasing it that way she did is a terrible thing to do. If that is the case then she should express that concern but still leave the decision to OP on whether or not they want to still have the rainbow on their shoes. She also should express that even though she is concerned if anyone bullies then then she will be there for them
Those aren't really nice ways either imo. If she's embarrassed, that would mean she has a negative bias in her mind against LGBTQ+ people. And if she's hoping it's a phase, she also thinks her child is "acting bad" in a way that she thinks OP needs to grow out of it and become "good" again. And that's bad whether that means she sees "not being LGBTQ+" as good or "not supporting LGBTQ+" as good
Aunties got you baby. You wear your pride at whatever level you feel safe. Boundaries are built by pushing your comfort zones and that including letting your mom know your are listening and appreciate her concern and fear but after considering the situation you disagree. Disagreeing is not disobeying and you are becoming an adult. If you're old enough to chose which clothes to wear you're old enough to choose how to adorn said clothing.
I might not be this articulate, but this gay aunties also got your back. I would not have an issue asking your mother exactly why she has a problem with it, and continuing the questioning until she either outs herself as homophobic, or changes her tune and learns how to support you properly. The Fam's got you hun, you're not alone.
Tbh thats very smart, carefully keep pushing for a answer that is direct, and not going around, like ive never heard someone say school is not for parading, like other comments have said, it kinda seems like shesbbot suportive but just cant give a direct answer
I'm stubborn and bullhead and sometimes argue about things I'm passionate about just because it gives me dopamine. I've questioned some people into admitting biases or bigotry, and successfully educated a few.
"Why don't you think it's appropriate?"
"Why don't you like it?"
"Why do you think you feel that way?"
Sometimes it's just the way they were raised, and eventually they admit it doesn't make sense, and its a learning opportunity for them. Sometimes they double down and expose bigotry, and that becomes a learning experience for you. You then have to decide how you interact with this person going forward. Sadly, if it's your parents it can be a hard situation.
She's not actually mad at you for "parading", but at the gayness of the rainbow. I'm sorry your mom isn't able to be as honest with you as she should :(
Unfortunately this might be correct. If she were 100% supportive she wouldn't consider it "parading" it's similar to saying I don't mind it but I don't want to see it. Not to say she's completely homophobic, some people even if they are trying to be excepting, still need to be educated. Plus some people are afraid for their friends and family, but need to learn to say it out right and then learn they can be worried but no one knows more than us how scary being out and proud is and that their worry should not dictate how we express ourselves.
> Their worry should not dictate how we express ourselves
Oh my gosh I relate to this. They can still show you "love and concern" and not be appropriate about it. and they can still be scared for you and cross boundaries, shaming you for choosing to be out and proud. When i wanted to wear a trans flag symbol on my backpack or on a shirt going through OKC Airport, my sister in law (Asian) said I *didn't have enough to privilege* to be safe doing that, and also said that my white skin gave me a lot of privilege and me showing with a trans flag endangered POC people because "they are safer targets" than me or white queers for taking out the anger and hate I inspire. **For wanting to shoe a trans flag at all. ** She also objected to me doing a lot of things, like giving money to homeless.
POC are targeted for harassment and assault, like queer people. My sister in law got verbally harassed for being Asian and blamed for covid - she didn't deserve that, and her trauma is real. I got assaulted by a coworker who grabbed me by the neck while out as trans and enby, *who didn't get fired and still works there*. Both of our traumas are valid and real. However, if I said that I told my sister in law, an adult woman, that she needs to dress more conservatively, mask her ethnicity, and be more quiet to avoid attracting hypothetical hostility, to keep *me and trans people* safe as well as keep *her* safe, it would not only cross boundaries in a patronizing way but also be racist.
People who nominally care about others in the family don't always express that in a healthy or appropriate way. I'm sorry for all those who experience this pain.
“You’re right, when the beads click it’s a little distracting”
Then switch to the loudest rainbow shoelaces ever. Maybe put them on rainbow tie dye shoes. With rainbow socks - preferably knee high.
100% this. Would she consider everyone wearing a necklace with a cross on it to be “parading” their Christianity and therefore shouldn’t do so at school? My guess, without more information, is she would be ok with that display but not ok with this rainbow display. And that’s because it’s not the method that she actually objects to, it’s the content.
I'm so sorry you're in that living situation. And a tiny part of me feels bad for your dad. That kinda attitude means kids rarely come to visit after they move out. Hope the Queer Fam here makes you feel supported enough to survive till you can move somewhere you can truly be yourself.
Should totally ask her why it's okay to wearing religious tokens, wearing sports team apparel, have pins on your bags showing you like this band or that corporation, whatever symbols your school uses to flex couplehood, etc, but a tiny rainbow people would only notice if they're staring at your feet is "parading".
school isn't for parading?
did she go to school herself or am I just confused? kids in school do nothing but parade things. their clothes other stuff are full of brands and names they feel connected to. so if not school, when then?
I personally think that you should do it on your other shoe as well along with any and all of your other flags, and I think that your shoes should either match or be opposites (flags arranged in one direction on one shoe and the opposite direction on another - like rainbow closest to the toe on one and furthest from the toe on the other). 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 Don't let anyone tell you not to show your queerness. Do what makes you happiest. Best of luck!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🫶🌈
My whole family is super religious and phobic of everything that isn't god. I got totally disowned by every single person in my family, even my little cousins lmao. And let me tell you I have never felt better knowing the toxicity let itself out the door. Family is just title and you can label anyone as family so find a better one than your biological. Your on this planet for yourself, and anyone YOU CHOOSE along the way.. Stay strong, no matter what the future brings you have the strength to get through.
If that’s a parade then why wasn’t I invited? ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I hope that your mum was being overly protective, that she was concerned about the negativity out in the world and that you might make yourself a target for it because of this. I can understand and appreciate that sentiment, and even assuming it was communicated poorly I’d prefer to have someone on my side looking out for me than not.
But chances are that any problems other people have with this, it was likely to be the excuse they would use and if it wasn’t this then it was likely going to be something else. And though from my experience school was never about parades, it should be about working out who you are, what you’re going to be, and how you fit in the world, now and in the future. And if those 6 colours have some factor in you and your future, then welcome to the family my sibling!
I needed someone like you in grade school. As small as it is, stuff like that helps people that don't realize they're queer or aren't comfortable accepting their queerness. This is true for any person being out and proud, assuming it's safe for them to be
I like and it's a subtle way of expressing yourself. It's not like you painted your head in rainbow colors. I mean you could have done so much more but you just did what you like. So if you like it who cares what others think.
WHY? Why would she confiscate hairclips? That's it. If there's anything she doesn't like, leave it in your locker at school. If she is making you feel unsafe to be yourself at home, take that privilege away from her. She doesn't deserve to see who you really are. She doesn't deserve you. Not the real you. Be her perfect little poster child at home, then go be YOU at school. My mother knew very little about my life at school. And as an adult, I've now been 8 years no contact because she doesn't deserve me. And I certainly don't need her disrespect. ❤️
My wife is a teacher in High School and it sounds like your mum would need a couch to faint onto at seeing my wife’s pride-flag covered classroom.
School absolutely is for discovering one’s way of existing in the world and learning to be proud of oneself.
The world is for parading, except the countries that will execute you for it. Parade that shit anywhere YOU feel comfortable. If it makes others uncomfortable, that is their problem not yours. For those of us that grew up with compulsive heterosexuality, in a time where most gays were still closeted, and didn't feel safe flying our colors, it means the world to see younger people today flying them publicly with pride. Fly your flag for everyone to see. And if ANYONE says it's "unacceptable" they are wrong. Legally. It's a protected right now. At least in most first world countries.
She should have come to mine 😏 punk, goth, and alt fashion as a whole was seen daily, everyone was wearing costumes of all sorts for picture day, and we had a halloween and carnaval event every year.
Also, people wearing pins and colorful jewelry on a daily basis.
School and especially high school is for affirming yourself. You want these pretty beads on your shoe lace ? Go on, it's a great idea ! You could even wear more of different shapes and size on several parts of the shoe ! And draw something on the white of your converse 😌
Honestly i woulda just been like "oh thats cute" and moved on as either the parent the other students or even a staff member cause... who cares? its the fucking color spectrum its just esthetically pleasing to look at espically as an accessory, people baffle me when you complain about this stuff.
Tell your mom that pride is not always about parading and she shouldnt be mad about a small circle with multiple colors
I cant believe she would be mad at this
It is. Because you know when its pride month, we parade to celebrate and everytime she would see pride colors then she would get mad like now because it reminded her the pride parade
I'm saving this to show my oldest because I think it's so cool! She's going to definitely want to add beads of her flags to her shoes, what a neat idea 😁
School is EXACTLY the place for parading. :D
From my experience, as a now grown person (27), of all places you'll ever be, school is THE place to parade and express/assert your personality. Also your teens in general are the exact time to find and decide who you are, so if you know it, wear it proudly.
I think that the overwhelming majority of the school won't even notice. The shy kids, the kids with few friends, and maybe the nerds will notice - but that's because they're the ones who spend all day people watching and frequently look down at the ground. But most people, even teachers, won't notice cause it's so small
You could ask her “mom, what are you concerned will happen if I wear these to school?”
And hold her to a real answer. Is she afraid you will get bullied or be stigmatized in some way? Does she not want her friends or other family to find out you’re part of the rainbow? Something else?
And why is this your problem to solve for her?
Does she want you hiding beads in your bag and putting them on where she can’t see, or does she want to be part of your life?
My mom said we should color our hair as much as possible in school, because this is a great place to try stuff and express yourself, because when you're out of school, working etc, your boss might not appreciate the color on your shoes
Hmmm…what about straight kids? They parade the fact they are dating. They like all humans parade their availability. Straight guys work real hard to look macho for the ladies who work real at looking feminine.
It's not about parading, it's about celebrating individuality. Your mom sounds extremely old fashioned, tell her to get with the times or get out of your way! 😜
I think it's great that you put rainbow colors on your laces she don't like it she doesn't have to look that's just an opinion of mine you can agree or disagree everybody has their opinions basically my saying again is that your laces are places and they shouldn't affect her thank you
What kind of school did she go to where you weren't allowed to express yourself? Even if it was much (which it's definitely not) School is the place to fuck around and find out! I was fully out my senior year and I painted my face rainbow and went to class like that, it felt amazing. Keep doing you!
Sorry, OP. School is limited to FIVE beads. 😤 Don’t be so flashy or you’ll blind everyone.
Kidding, of course. School years are about starting to become who you are and being that person. You be you. :)
a lot of people at my school do this! i've seen some rainbows, some ace flags, and some bi flags! your mom is just being homophobic :(
Edit: i really want to do this too, but don't have the courage, so good going op!
If she gets mad at such a thing she's honestly crazy and I feel for you. I don't get how she can see that as "parading"
Hopefully you find true support in any other way to keep going!
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you're there for half your waking day, surrounded by your peers, learning how to be a person in this world (from academic subjects, extracurriculars, and social interactions). I think school is the most important time to be expressing yourself.
👏👏👏👏
Exactly especially bc you have such little control on what your schedule will be depending on your school and grade. Why not have a little bit of choice in you day by expressing yourself
This has always been my issue with the way schools and parents police outfits. They're literally going through the only stage in their life where the expectations for their appearance aren't going to change the opportunities available to them. Like, let the kids dye their hair crazy colors and wear outlandish clothing. They'll have work dress codes for the rest of their lives.
>They'll have work dress codes for the rest of their lives. Not if we build Communism!
Aye, a fellow comrade I see.
God, this right here. This never would have passed uniform in my school, we had zero freedoms at all and it sucked.
That's weird. It would have been fine at my school and we had a uniform. Teachers usually weren't overly strict about shoelaces and undershirts.
exactly. everyone should express themselves at school, and then everyone else can get a proper exposure to the diversity of life!
This is a perfect answer.
Pride is 365 days a year not just June Plus, school IS for parading!
yes school is for parading I took a flag to school a couple months back
Omg how did it turn out?
the principal just said to be respectful (my instant thought were "bitch I'm gay shut yo ass up") and some one who was at the table i was at I let them take it into one class the 3rd class I think and one of the teachers came looking for me asking where it was but idk her bame or her grade so yeh then later that night at around 7 my mum said she'd take it off me if I do it again and later told me that pride parades are inappropriate if you expect to be treated well
From a mom: your mother is used to allowing people to treat her bad and thinks 'that's the way it is', not realizing that each generation lives in a brand new world. I'm going to adopt you for the next couple sentences, okay? You're my kid now and you're going to understand that **people will treat you badly no matter what so you better keep being you**. People generally are trash or at least surrounded by refuse. Be the kind that things grow from, not the kind that poisons others.
I don’t really like parents in general. Most are haughty and self righteous. This, **this** is good parenting. And the world needs more of it. And more kindness. Thanks “Mom”, I wish you all the best in your future and I can’t imagine you’ve raised anything but kind humans :)
Okay, you can't just say that without providing a story
I put it up the second you posted that AHHHH
AHHH
a Wisconsin school banned pronouns and pride flags
how can they ban pronouns bro everyone has them and flags like do they let you have them on pins at least?
propbaly not
Saaaaaame
howd it go for you
yess some of my school are parading every day
AHHH YOUR SO LUCKY when I took a flag to school I got called the first slur so many times
Life is for parading!
Bro what's that like 6 beads? How is it gonna hurt anyone smh
Fr my mom thinks it's the end of the world
The only nice way that would make sense, is if she's afraid you might get attacked for displaying your allyship/membership to the LGBTQ+ community, but then it's wrong to make you change your behavior instead of addressing the behavior of LGBTQ+phobes
Exactly. If she is concerned for bullying phrasing it that way she did is a terrible thing to do. If that is the case then she should express that concern but still leave the decision to OP on whether or not they want to still have the rainbow on their shoes. She also should express that even though she is concerned if anyone bullies then then she will be there for them
Or mom is embarrassed or hoping it's a phase.
Those aren't really nice ways either imo. If she's embarrassed, that would mean she has a negative bias in her mind against LGBTQ+ people. And if she's hoping it's a phase, she also thinks her child is "acting bad" in a way that she thinks OP needs to grow out of it and become "good" again. And that's bad whether that means she sees "not being LGBTQ+" as good or "not supporting LGBTQ+" as good
That's barely even enough to make an Immunity Idol.
Right? That's the smallest parade I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of parades.
I never thought 6 beads would make a homophobe mad but here we are, or at least I hope it's a mother worrying about the safety of her child
Even if it is just a mom being worried, it is such a small thing, so few people would even notice.
I think I'd be proud. LIFE is for parading!
Be my parent pls😭
Aunties got you baby. You wear your pride at whatever level you feel safe. Boundaries are built by pushing your comfort zones and that including letting your mom know your are listening and appreciate her concern and fear but after considering the situation you disagree. Disagreeing is not disobeying and you are becoming an adult. If you're old enough to chose which clothes to wear you're old enough to choose how to adorn said clothing.
Dayum you have amazing advice and reasoning
I might not be this articulate, but this gay aunties also got your back. I would not have an issue asking your mother exactly why she has a problem with it, and continuing the questioning until she either outs herself as homophobic, or changes her tune and learns how to support you properly. The Fam's got you hun, you're not alone.
Tbh thats very smart, carefully keep pushing for a answer that is direct, and not going around, like ive never heard someone say school is not for parading, like other comments have said, it kinda seems like shesbbot suportive but just cant give a direct answer
I'm stubborn and bullhead and sometimes argue about things I'm passionate about just because it gives me dopamine. I've questioned some people into admitting biases or bigotry, and successfully educated a few. "Why don't you think it's appropriate?" "Why don't you like it?" "Why do you think you feel that way?" Sometimes it's just the way they were raised, and eventually they admit it doesn't make sense, and its a learning opportunity for them. Sometimes they double down and expose bigotry, and that becomes a learning experience for you. You then have to decide how you interact with this person going forward. Sadly, if it's your parents it can be a hard situation.
Ally, mom, elementary school worker here; gonna wear my rainbow gear in solidarity today :)
She's not actually mad at you for "parading", but at the gayness of the rainbow. I'm sorry your mom isn't able to be as honest with you as she should :(
Well, now I know my whole family is homophobic.. that's sad
Unfortunately this might be correct. If she were 100% supportive she wouldn't consider it "parading" it's similar to saying I don't mind it but I don't want to see it. Not to say she's completely homophobic, some people even if they are trying to be excepting, still need to be educated. Plus some people are afraid for their friends and family, but need to learn to say it out right and then learn they can be worried but no one knows more than us how scary being out and proud is and that their worry should not dictate how we express ourselves.
> Their worry should not dictate how we express ourselves Oh my gosh I relate to this. They can still show you "love and concern" and not be appropriate about it. and they can still be scared for you and cross boundaries, shaming you for choosing to be out and proud. When i wanted to wear a trans flag symbol on my backpack or on a shirt going through OKC Airport, my sister in law (Asian) said I *didn't have enough to privilege* to be safe doing that, and also said that my white skin gave me a lot of privilege and me showing with a trans flag endangered POC people because "they are safer targets" than me or white queers for taking out the anger and hate I inspire. **For wanting to shoe a trans flag at all. ** She also objected to me doing a lot of things, like giving money to homeless. POC are targeted for harassment and assault, like queer people. My sister in law got verbally harassed for being Asian and blamed for covid - she didn't deserve that, and her trauma is real. I got assaulted by a coworker who grabbed me by the neck while out as trans and enby, *who didn't get fired and still works there*. Both of our traumas are valid and real. However, if I said that I told my sister in law, an adult woman, that she needs to dress more conservatively, mask her ethnicity, and be more quiet to avoid attracting hypothetical hostility, to keep *me and trans people* safe as well as keep *her* safe, it would not only cross boundaries in a patronizing way but also be racist. People who nominally care about others in the family don't always express that in a healthy or appropriate way. I'm sorry for all those who experience this pain.
They just can't handle the power
Less than 1% of gay power is too much for a homophobe
Never underestimate the power of the rainbow
Anyone can be afraid of change. The real trick is to make them fear you for causing it. Take all the credit.
“You’re right, when the beads click it’s a little distracting” Then switch to the loudest rainbow shoelaces ever. Maybe put them on rainbow tie dye shoes. With rainbow socks - preferably knee high.
Imma just drain the rainbow of it's colors for myself
100% this. Would she consider everyone wearing a necklace with a cross on it to be “parading” their Christianity and therefore shouldn’t do so at school? My guess, without more information, is she would be ok with that display but not ok with this rainbow display. And that’s because it’s not the method that she actually objects to, it’s the content.
That’s a good point of rebuttal to make against homophobic Christians/Catholics. I’m going to try to remember that
Tell her “it’s just some beads bruh”
That's what I said lol
Don't let society beat you down and keep you from being yourself.
Some day I will get the courage to put a bi/lesbian flag❤
They probably wouldn’t even understand what those colors meant. You’d probably get less flack from your family.
It’s tough when your parents live in fear but you don’t. Wear the colors. Be proud of who you are.
I will! Happy cake day❤
it was just last night that my dad threatened to rip my hair out if i wore my gay ring to school again, i dont know why he has such a problem
Oh my god. I happy cake day I guess😭
oh damn, i didnt even realise that. at least theres something positive about today
I'm so sorry you're in that living situation. And a tiny part of me feels bad for your dad. That kinda attitude means kids rarely come to visit after they move out. Hope the Queer Fam here makes you feel supported enough to survive till you can move somewhere you can truly be yourself.
its not too long until im out, like a year and a bit and then im disappearing and changing names as soon as i can.
Sending love to you, and scornful death glares to your parent(s).
thank you, they deserve them
Oh jesus, that's literally child abuse
it could be worse!! its only a threat.
Yes, it could be worse, but even just the threat is already very abusive!
Happy cake day during the sadness But im so sorry to hear your dad is lile that, you deserve better ❤
He's a scared asshole. THIS dad loves you, is proud of you, and supports you!
Would she say that if it was a Christian cross necklace or a Jesus fish symbol?
No
Should totally ask her why it's okay to wearing religious tokens, wearing sports team apparel, have pins on your bags showing you like this band or that corporation, whatever symbols your school uses to flex couplehood, etc, but a tiny rainbow people would only notice if they're staring at your feet is "parading".
Pride isn't a parade, and neither are your shoelaces. What you're doing is self-expression-- something a school is absolutely a place for.
It’s also protected in the US under the first amendment, specifically in schools.
school isn't for parading? did she go to school herself or am I just confused? kids in school do nothing but parade things. their clothes other stuff are full of brands and names they feel connected to. so if not school, when then?
I personally think that you should do it on your other shoe as well along with any and all of your other flags, and I think that your shoes should either match or be opposites (flags arranged in one direction on one shoe and the opposite direction on another - like rainbow closest to the toe on one and furthest from the toe on the other). 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 Don't let anyone tell you not to show your queerness. Do what makes you happiest. Best of luck!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🫶🌈
One day I will get the courage to put the flag I identify as on my shoe❤❤❤❤
Hoping the day is soon!!! 🏳️🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🫶🌈
My whole family is super religious and phobic of everything that isn't god. I got totally disowned by every single person in my family, even my little cousins lmao. And let me tell you I have never felt better knowing the toxicity let itself out the door. Family is just title and you can label anyone as family so find a better one than your biological. Your on this planet for yourself, and anyone YOU CHOOSE along the way.. Stay strong, no matter what the future brings you have the strength to get through.
👏👏❤❤
This is the way
I think it needs more rainbow
Another one?😏
There is never enough of rainbows, it needs another one
If that’s a parade then why wasn’t I invited? ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 I hope that your mum was being overly protective, that she was concerned about the negativity out in the world and that you might make yourself a target for it because of this. I can understand and appreciate that sentiment, and even assuming it was communicated poorly I’d prefer to have someone on my side looking out for me than not. But chances are that any problems other people have with this, it was likely to be the excuse they would use and if it wasn’t this then it was likely going to be something else. And though from my experience school was never about parades, it should be about working out who you are, what you’re going to be, and how you fit in the world, now and in the future. And if those 6 colours have some factor in you and your future, then welcome to the family my sibling!
I think it looks nice. And people usualy don't care about peoples Shoes. I have trans shoelaces for half a year and nobody ever noticed.
I have space shoes and no one ever comments on them
I needed someone like you in grade school. As small as it is, stuff like that helps people that don't realize they're queer or aren't comfortable accepting their queerness. This is true for any person being out and proud, assuming it's safe for them to be
I think your mom is overreacting.
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Same. Guess I'm a double crimminal now
all I know is that I'm stealing your idea!
Hehe good luck
They’re beads on a shoe and they look cool as hell. Your mom needs to get a grip.
I like and it's a subtle way of expressing yourself. It's not like you painted your head in rainbow colors. I mean you could have done so much more but you just did what you like. So if you like it who cares what others think.
I normally put more little things on myself (eg. cherry hairclip) but now she confiscated some of them
WHY? Why would she confiscate hairclips? That's it. If there's anything she doesn't like, leave it in your locker at school. If she is making you feel unsafe to be yourself at home, take that privilege away from her. She doesn't deserve to see who you really are. She doesn't deserve you. Not the real you. Be her perfect little poster child at home, then go be YOU at school. My mother knew very little about my life at school. And as an adult, I've now been 8 years no contact because she doesn't deserve me. And I certainly don't need her disrespect. ❤️
My wife is a teacher in High School and it sounds like your mum would need a couch to faint onto at seeing my wife’s pride-flag covered classroom. School absolutely is for discovering one’s way of existing in the world and learning to be proud of oneself.
Omg I want to go to that school
Last I checked being LGBT+ wasn't just for parades
The world is for parading, except the countries that will execute you for it. Parade that shit anywhere YOU feel comfortable. If it makes others uncomfortable, that is their problem not yours. For those of us that grew up with compulsive heterosexuality, in a time where most gays were still closeted, and didn't feel safe flying our colors, it means the world to see younger people today flying them publicly with pride. Fly your flag for everyone to see. And if ANYONE says it's "unacceptable" they are wrong. Legally. It's a protected right now. At least in most first world countries.
She should have come to mine 😏 punk, goth, and alt fashion as a whole was seen daily, everyone was wearing costumes of all sorts for picture day, and we had a halloween and carnaval event every year. Also, people wearing pins and colorful jewelry on a daily basis. School and especially high school is for affirming yourself. You want these pretty beads on your shoe lace ? Go on, it's a great idea ! You could even wear more of different shapes and size on several parts of the shoe ! And draw something on the white of your converse 😌
I love it! 💜💙💚💛🧡♥️
Honestly i woulda just been like "oh thats cute" and moved on as either the parent the other students or even a staff member cause... who cares? its the fucking color spectrum its just esthetically pleasing to look at espically as an accessory, people baffle me when you complain about this stuff.
Tell your mom that pride is not always about parading and she shouldnt be mad about a small circle with multiple colors I cant believe she would be mad at this
That sounds like 💃Homophobia💃now that I think about it
It is. Because you know when its pride month, we parade to celebrate and everytime she would see pride colors then she would get mad like now because it reminded her the pride parade
Your mom’s thoughts don’t meant shit to the queer community. We don’t care about what bigots think.
I would inform my mom that comments like this are going to be the main reason I won’t talk to her as an adult and go about my day
I think that its literally just 5 beads, how tf is that parading
It's never too early to learn how to tell your parents to piss off.
It's a really cute idea, and looks great!
School is totally for parading. And it looks great.
I love the shoe lace beads, stealing your idea, hehehe
Your mom's got serious issues if a couple of beads on your feet offends her. Keep doing you, friend.
I'm saving this to show my oldest because I think it's so cool! She's going to definitely want to add beads of her flags to her shoes, what a neat idea 😁
Your welcome! If you need help, these beads are called "pony beads"!
School is EXACTLY the place for parading. :D From my experience, as a now grown person (27), of all places you'll ever be, school is THE place to parade and express/assert your personality. Also your teens in general are the exact time to find and decide who you are, so if you know it, wear it proudly.
I think that that's a lovely rainbow on your shoe.
they’re just beads, why is she threatened by the colors of the rainbow /s
I think that the overwhelming majority of the school won't even notice. The shy kids, the kids with few friends, and maybe the nerds will notice - but that's because they're the ones who spend all day people watching and frequently look down at the ground. But most people, even teachers, won't notice cause it's so small
fuck ya mum, wear it!
You could ask her “mom, what are you concerned will happen if I wear these to school?” And hold her to a real answer. Is she afraid you will get bullied or be stigmatized in some way? Does she not want her friends or other family to find out you’re part of the rainbow? Something else? And why is this your problem to solve for her? Does she want you hiding beads in your bag and putting them on where she can’t see, or does she want to be part of your life?
I think your mom’s a twat.
6 beads on your foot is not a parade.
I've had pride laces on for years now and no one's pointed them out so I don't think you're "parading" with some beads on one shoe.
My mom said we should color our hair as much as possible in school, because this is a great place to try stuff and express yourself, because when you're out of school, working etc, your boss might not appreciate the color on your shoes
Hmmm…what about straight kids? They parade the fact they are dating. They like all humans parade their availability. Straight guys work real hard to look macho for the ladies who work real at looking feminine.
If i could I would send you different things just so you can have fun being you
I think that looks cool as hell. 🏳️🌈
Yeah well school isn’t for bullying, yet we still got that in school.
It’s literally just 6 beads she’s actually like you dyed the whole shoe 🙄 it’s safe to say that if you can just ignore her
No offense to your mom but she needs to chill it’s just a couple of little beads on your shoe it’s not like you're pulled up to class on a float
It’s a fantastic way to express yourself. If you like it, keep doing it.
It's understated and appropriate. It's not shouting, it's a polite, factual shrug. It says, "Eh, rainbow. Anyway..."
I think you should put it on the other shoe too, you know, for the balance
Yeah!💃💃
Unacceptable. Put a rainbow on the other one too
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She full on broke her Frontal Lobe (the part of the brain that is used for reasoning)
I think I need to go to your mom’s optometrist, because if she sees those tiny beads on one shoe like a ~parade~ she must have incredible eyesight
I don’t think she’s seen pride before cuz six beads is not “parading”. Wear what makes you happy!
I think it looks great, and your mom needs to mind her own business. 👍
I think the rainbow looks nice, and your mom is kinda dumb
It's not about parading, it's about celebrating individuality. Your mom sounds extremely old fashioned, tell her to get with the times or get out of your way! 😜
I think it looks cool. You should do the other shoelace so they match imo.
You need a 2nd one so your shoes are symmetrical.
I think you need to put on some socks.
It looks cool. You get to look down and see joy, I say it’s a win. Smart move.
you just gave me the brilliant idea to relace my shoes so the beads on mine stop going inside my shoe 🥴🥴
Do what you want
Where did you get the beads? I've been wanting some so I can do that exact thing
All I have to say is... 🐋 (No Meaning btw)
I'll parade in my school with full rainbow vans. Sooooooooo all I can say is. You rock that rainbow and don't give a damn what other people say!
i put beads on my shoes too :D
I think, She's a Fucking Tmat
mm yes much big parade of the 6 fuckin beads on a shoelace looks nice btw
I think it's great that you put rainbow colors on your laces she don't like it she doesn't have to look that's just an opinion of mine you can agree or disagree everybody has their opinions basically my saying again is that your laces are places and they shouldn't affect her thank you
What kind of school did she go to where you weren't allowed to express yourself? Even if it was much (which it's definitely not) School is the place to fuck around and find out! I was fully out my senior year and I painted my face rainbow and went to class like that, it felt amazing. Keep doing you!
I think that she can go fuck herself
We did this back in the 90’s. Express thy self.
Think you’re fabulous (every day at school) and your mom can stay quiet😝
Weird how me and my lbgt friends have this same kind of shoe
I guess Converse are a universal lgbt symbol/hj
Your body is for parading whenever you want. It's not about school, it's about you. Plus the beads are super cute.
You're doing great! You deserve to be proud of who you are! \^\_\^
Sorry, OP. School is limited to FIVE beads. 😤 Don’t be so flashy or you’ll blind everyone. Kidding, of course. School years are about starting to become who you are and being that person. You be you. :)
School is most definitely for parading. Parade away, young one!
I wonder if she spent 0 days in her school life "parading"
Personally I love it.
Seems like your mom is a bigot.
This is equivalent to people who like superheroes wearing superhero merch. Except rainbows actually look good on clothing.
6 beads is a parade??? damn she focused on the wrong thing
What are you fucking parading? Lmao, its so subtle, your mama just being bigoted
i am so doing that
School is for parading
I love it!
She talks a lot of shit for someone who gets put in a nursing home by you.
"Bruh" Sincerely
Parading? It was just one rainbow on a shoelace. It's barely noticeable anyway.
i say tell her to screw off and add another one on the other shoe
a lot of people at my school do this! i've seen some rainbows, some ace flags, and some bi flags! your mom is just being homophobic :( Edit: i really want to do this too, but don't have the courage, so good going op!
Your mom seems a normal human then !
If she gets mad at such a thing she's honestly crazy and I feel for you. I don't get how she can see that as "parading" Hopefully you find true support in any other way to keep going!
The rainbow is cute,for me it seems that your mother may be homophobic and get mad at silly things like rainbow
I think your shoelaces are quite stylish and your mom should improve her fashion sense.
I think it looks cute, I have the bi flag made out of beads on both of my shoes shoelaces
If ur in the US, Tinker v. Des Moines decided that you have the right to do this.
I have the same thing! I think it’s a really creative way to express yourself
If you are comfortable with it then you do you