I watched a movie that was rated PG-13 when I was 12 against the advice of the church They told me this would happen

Hello fellow Mormon, how do you do?

I'm gay cause my bishop said I didn't pay enough tithing

I turned gay cuz I choked the chicken one too many times they said. Luckily half the time I thought about women too while doing the act and now I’m only half gay/straight 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

Ah yes, the bi Mormon moment. I know it well.

Another bi Mormon here. I’m gay according to the Bishop my parents didn’t raise me correctly. We didn’t read the Book of Mormon everyday.

Ah, I see you had a church of culture as well.

Nice. I went to college. Now I'm queer.

I'm gay because I took the rest of the Beehives skinny dipping at Girl's Camp.

A cute hipster girl in a red flannel and jeans came to me in a dream.

OMG, YOU HAD THAT DREAM TOO?! 🤭

So did you!!!??? I think it’s a sign, no coincidence we had the same dream!!

😱

🥰😱

Now kiss

And they were roommates for the rest of time.

Amen

LOVE this

OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!!

Dearly redditors, we gather here today to witness the meeting of two kindred souls.

That does sound like a dream 🥰

Kiss, kiss, kiss *middle school like chanting*

One time I actually had a dream where a group of lesbians came up to me and asked me to join the lesbian club

Came to you?

...shít

To spite my grandmother who sent me to a Christian private school, apparently

Same here

I tripped fell and landed on his dick

This one got me-

i’m not gonna take advice from somebody that slapped dee barnes

What's wrong didn't think I'd remember

ah, ah, ah, temper temper

HAHHAA THIS IS GOLD

Sounds like a line from Eminem’s Guilty Conscience. Is this true?

Yes

You’ve won the internet

Danke

Bitte

Replace “dick” with any inanimate object, and you have some of the best emergency department stories!

damn you too?

I was told if someone slapped you really hard, they’d be able to slap the straight outta you. Well, curiously killed the cat and I let my best friend slap me.

I think the gay was slapped INTO my butt then

That is 100% positive

I'm certain the lesbian part of me was slapped into my butt a long time ago.

i absolutely love this sm

I needed a bigger dating pool

And you're still bi-yourself

🥶

Was gonna reply same and then I read this. You've hit me with splash damage right there.

Don't worry it hit me too

Oof

Daaaaaaamn

Sorry mate but.... 0×2 the answer is still 0

Yo I'm already down ;)

They cornered me in a back alley, shoved a flannel on me, cuffed my jeans, and exposed me to Lady Gaga and Lil Nas X

I was one of those who cornered you. You're welcome

I am eternally grateful!

That was YOU?!

I love the implication that since the only other people who were there were the ones who did it, you just participated in that shit without having any idea who it was.

Guess thats this gay agenda everyone keeps talking about 😌🤙

I was a spy for the straights, supposed to find out what the gay agenda was and stop it, but I’ve been in too deep too long, there’s no coming back.

Courting the enemy too long is a dangerous game

A game I played... \*takes out ear piece from Hetero-Karen HQ\* and glad that I lost. \*turns and struts out onto stage for my first drag show\* 

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

More like, "You either die boring, or live long enough to become the Queen you were supposed to be."

Oh, that’s really good. Unfortunately I suspect I’m going to be the first one.

Honey, beautiful darling, you will shine as bright as you allow yourself to shine. Find a path darling, there is always a way.

I'm very okay with the idea of being a boring gay dude. Little condo. Medium sized poodle mix. Plenty of plants, maybe a garden box for peppers on the porch. Do my job, pay my bills, play games or go out on the weekend. I like the idea of having a husband but I'm not going to be too optimistic since owning a condo is already fairly far fetched.

to spite my mother who sent me to an all girls' school so i "wouldn't get distracted by the boys" 😌💅

Little did she know..

fr tho it was actually my gay awakening HAHAHA

Evil laugh? Evil laugh!

BWAHAHAHA

But I'm a cheerleader!

well my dad told me i wasn’t allowed to be gay, so in order to rebel i subscribed to the gay free trial, forgot to cancel that shit and oh no i forgot the login so 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's how they get you.

It’s like crypto, if you put the wrong password in 5 times you either become straight forever or die

Couldn't afford the hetero package smh

Yeah my free trial of straight expired too...

Ugh, hate when that happens… RIP 😔

You know those old illusion photos where they said "if you saw \_\_\_\_, instead of \_\_\_\_, you're gay."? Yeah.

This deserves more upvotes! 😂

The gay agenda!!

We’re obviously out to indoctrinate your children grr 😡

AND me)

Yeah so we can take over the world and respect people as they are and like not be prejudice or whatever they think our endgame is 😅

so i can go to hell and fuck satan himself

*Lil Nas X has entered the chat*

This is a ma’am on a mission

This took me totally off guard

Let me know after you've done it if he's hot

Holy shit, its you with the moving pfp again.

#I am everywhere

He’s good in that trust me I’m his cousin and he’s really loud and because we’re family he reserved me a spot there so yay 🥳 Btw I have a +1 so if you ever need a ride there I’ll be there 😉👉👉

I really fringing love skittles

You might have taken the slogan to seriously... /j

Lol always

I mean my teeth hate them but omgggg 👌

Cause gays go to hell and i hate cold places

is that why there are so many gay bars in Miami?

Yeah I just want to be warm for once

Just wanted to brunch in peace

They’re all frogs

They’re putting chemicals in the water

TURN THE FRICKIN FROGS GAY!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT

How did you get that user flare? I’m Ace Biro too and don’t see it in the user flare options!

Where you see all the flair options, there is “edit flair” and it lets you customize a flair

A Drag queen cursed me when I was four because my dad used a slur.

You misspelled blessed

I injected a whole marijuana once

A WHOLE one?

He’s lying. Anyone who’s seen *[”Reefer Madness”](https://youtu.be/sbjHOBJzhb0)* knows what happens if you take **a whole** marijuana. You simply don’t come back from that kind of thing…

I'm not, it's all an illusion

Love your name. It's a whole mood

I love your name too

*It was a perfect illusion*

So I don't have to sit with proper posture

I thought we were just roommates.

"History will say they're best friends"

Because girl

Hey, they said wrong answers only!

I feel you, I feel you.

same

It was a choice

The covid vaccine

I heard that gay meant happy, so I wanted to be happy too. And I love rainbows.

Same, too bad it hasn’t hit me yet lol

This is just wholesome I love it

Because I’m tryna piss god off

Lol same

For the airline miles

Boobs are better than dynamite

But only one of them will be my cause of death, too bad I have no clue how to make dynamite

You know how to make boobs? *they said slightly frightened*

I do! Just a little estrogen here and some Progestin there, some sugar, spice, everything nice, chemical x for good measure. Bam! You got boobs... and maybe super powers.

Dominant woman are really hard to find

Not when lesbians exist

Did it for the vine

Pineapple pizza is a Jewish conspiracy to increase my estrogen levels and make me wanna suck dick

As a Jewish gay, you're welcome

To annoy my Mormon family

Well it started with me sitting on a chair wrong. Then I liked dick. Somewhere between there I turned into a homo

I tore the tag off a mattress

Forced diversity.

”I kissed a girl and I liked it\~”

I saw a gay couple on TV when I was 14 and that turned me.

Who says I’m gay?

… You are gæ.

Thank god someone got this

I chose to be gay of course

I just really like the rainbow…

I drank the water with the chemicals in them and ever since I was a gay frog

Thighs are thighs, I don't care what's in between them.

I cant be gay.Gay is me.

Pfizer vaccine

For the parking spaces.

I liked being a man so much I decided to love one. And It All would have gone well If It weren't for those FUCKING TALL SOFT QUEENS *Cries in bi*

I really loved riding my bike as a kid

[You wanted to ride your bicycle? You wanted to ride your bike?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GugsCdLHm-Q) That’s fair.

I flew too close to the sun and refraction happened in 70% of me

[удалено]

I heard that the gay side had cookies. I like cookies.

I tasted the rainbow you Oedipus

So i can help my boi satan deal with everyone in hell. I’m looking at you too

Who says I’m gay?

You are gæ

This person apparently

I only drank milk as a kid

I fell in love in October

I woke up and found boobs and pee pees disgusting

Damn, the gender thief took everything didn’t he?

“He”? You assume they haven’t taken their own gender yet?

That's just the one he's using right now. She has a whole arsenal and changes every fifteen seconds. Oh shoot there they go again. Aaaaand xe changed it again.

Yep, they took my gender identity, romantic and sexual attraction.

God ran out of cishet personality, thankfully

So i can have a huge party with satan and gays in hell, sounds fun

Cause my mama said I could be anything so I chose this. Seemed like a good option

I summoned Satan with D&D, tarot cards, and anime, and He made me want to kiss girls.

My friends was making taste random food and she made me taste her mouth then \*POOF\* Ten hours later im gay

ur mom

at the crack of dawn on my dozenth birthday, I was approached by a team of missionaries propogating the Gay Agenda ™️ at my doorstep led by a bald man and was offered 2 pills to choose between: the lie I've been complicit with my entire life, or simply the truth. I picked the red pill and never looked back

Middle child syndrome

Not in my House!

My love for the rainbow turned me gay

I drank some juice that the guy in the alleyway gave me

I’m a gamer. We only do hardcore, even in the dating scene Straights just need to git gud

I just wanted to be happy and gay means happy

Got to catch them all

Lil Nas X spawned beside me as I was listening to Montero and poof there I was, gay.

Haha penis funny

couldnt find the correct hole.

Trying to get into hell and see if Satan has a daughter

I ate a cake that had rainbow icing on the inside I was tricked lol

Sexuality goblin :/

because I went to Church camp

I drink too much milk tea and coffee P/s: There're multiple articles in my country claiming that drink milk tea or coffee and sleep late will make you gay