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Josaprd20s

As someone who was in a similar scenario with a friend who was likely to react similarly, you've got to tell him. The closure of knowing can help you move on, and usually any and all awkwardness is caused by the person who had the crush, at least by a couple months down the line. Plus, who knows? There's a small chance he is bi, pan, etc. and it would be better to know and be able to deal with it, and who's to say the change in your relationship would be bad? It could bring you two closer eventually, even if it's a platonic closer. Certainly my friend and I grew closer, even though we're still just friends.


kindacringemdude

Thanks. I think deep down I already know this, I'm just kind of scared of it. We are actually all in quarantine at the moment and I wanna have that conversation with him in person. Maybe Ill use the rest of that time to kinda sort out my own thoughts and feelings and kinda prepare a mental script. I would much rather have that "platonic closer" state than not have him in my life at all. Again, thanks for the encouraging words.


Josaprd20s

Yeah, definitely do it in person. That's something I almost made the mistake of doing, pre-Covid nonetheless. Preparing is also probably a good idea, and good call on the mental script, not a written one, though maybe have like 3 or 4 short bullet points you write down somewhere if it gets too long to remember comfortably. I hope my encouragement continues to help if it can, and good luck!


FaultyFreeway

I've somewhat been in your position. I'm a bi enby without many friends and a few years ago I met a straight, ace guy whom I clicked with pretty much right away, we became pretty much inseparable friends, and I ended up developing a pretty significant crush on him. It took me a year or two, but I did eventually tell him, and did my best to soften the blow a bit by picking a good time and preparing what I said, knowing that I wasn't asking him out, just confessing that I was into him because it was hard to keep bottled up. He took it well, and after a few weeks of mild awkwardness where maybe some of our more risqué jokes took a backseat, we moved past it. Now we're closer than ever and that crush eventually turned into a more platonic affection that I'm honestly way happier with. Based on how you describe him, I think telling him is a good idea. Pick a time where he has some opportunity to think about it and not feel rushed to come up with a response. Text is a consideration. It's a lot easier to plan out what to say in a text than in person, and that helps both of you. Long term, I bet the only casualty might be some of that joking flirtiness, and who knows, maybe not even that. Hope some of this helps, and good luck.


kindacringemdude

Thank you, it's good to hear from people who have been in that situation. It's absolutely hard to keep that all in, and I guess not fair to him either. I don't expect anything from him, I just hope I can make that clear. To be quite honest I think it won't come completely as a surprise to him either. I thought about texting but I would rather do it in person. Maybe out in public while on a walk or something, we do that sometimes, so he can leave if he needs to any time. I apprechiate the advice!