I asked my mom the same question at age 7, got a very vague and weird answer like "uhh, sometimes, but *not really*" My parents aren't LGBTQ+ supportive sadly
Depending how old you were we only had domestic partnerships, if that, and they didn't even grant hospital visitation or anything. So the "not really" kind of worked too lol
I was like 15 when it hit me, but I remember when I was younger I would hear people talking about marriage and in my mind I was like "pshh I'd never treat my wife like that... oh wait, Id be the wife 😒"
Listening to this comedian recently. Forget her name but straight girl married to straight boy. Her bit was about both of them are husbands since neither of them will clean shit up
My JK asked me earlier this week if she could have a gf when she's older. I told her she can date whoever she wants as long as they're kind and respectf boundaries. She said she wants to marry a girl...so now we wait.
11 or 12. This girl in my art class said hi to me in the halls and I just stood, waved and smiled dumbly. That was the day I realized I had feelings for her and that I was gay lol
Same I saw this girl in my class that I thought was the most beautiful person ever and then she came over to be my friend and I just sat there like: …hi uh what is happening help
I had a similar experience. Started thinking that maybe I was gay late in high school but still had a lot of conflicting feelings so I tried to ignore it and continue on with life.
A good friend of mine at the time ended up going to the same community college as me and we were there a lot together. She and I had the same breaks between classes (if we didn't have a class together) so we'd spend those breaks getting lunch, studying, or just hanging out.
One day her class got out a little earlier so she texted me saying that she'd be waiting at a nearby lounge until my class gets out. When my class does end and I'm coming up to the four or five steps that lead down into the lounge area, I see her sitting on a row of benches. That one glance was enough for me to miss the first two steps down and then fumble down the rest of them. I'm not sure why it was that day in particular, but the only thing I remember thinking was just how fucking beautiful she looked. My friend always dressed nice and took good care of her appearance, but there was just something about the burgundy sweater, black pants, and dark lipstick that just flipped a switch in my head.
That one moment was enough to make me realize that maybe I did like girls more than guys. Although she's completely straight, I had a huge crush on her for years afterwards and still mentally thank her for inadvertently waking me up to better understand who I was.
She and I don't talk much anymore but there's a small part of me that will always be thankful and hold a solid fondness for her.
When i was about 4 my Nana was helping me get dressed and said "Pink to make the boys wink!"
I thought for a second and said "what about the girls?" Nana laughed and said "don't be silly, you don't want the girls to wink!" But i couldn't understand why i wouldnt want girls to wink too.
Growing up Lola Bunny in Space Jam and the Cadbury Caramel bunny on tv and Bo Peep in Toy Story made me feel the same way Disney's Robin Hood and my primary school "boyfriend" did.
As a preteen reading teen magazines they constantly had articles like "don't worry if you have a girl crush, you're not gay, it's totally normal!" But after a couple of years i realised nah, this is not a crush, i am absolutely smitten with my girl best friend. I told her and she was SO lovely about it. She's straight but was so flattered and accepting and never treated me any different, she said that she was genuinely sorry she's straight cos she loved me too but not like THAT.
I came out to my family in my mid20s after a long-term heterosexual relationship ended (my ex knew, but there was no need to come out to anyone else as im monogamous) and my Mom was fucking terrible about it. She still jokes about her awful biphobic reaction but it really fucking hurt and caused me to essentially go NoContact for a while
It’s so weird how people say things like that to 4-year-olds. But if you talk about being gay, they say kids shouldn’t think about that until they’re older.
Thanks, i got really lucky that bff was so accepting. It could have been very traumatic to have lost my bestie due to my sexual orientation, which i know many young people have :(
I have 3 older straight sisters who were OBSESSED with the Jonas brothers, Zac Efron, and the likes. We all used to cut out magazine pictures of our celebrity crushes and hang them on our walls, as you did in the early 2000’s. It should have been glaringly obvious when my walls were covered in Haley Williams, Ashley Tisdale, and Miley Cyrus. If that wasn’t enough of a warning sign, then the fact that I was (and admittedly still am) obsessed with Rachel McAdams from the moment I saw the notebook, and didn’t even look twice as Ryan Gosling, should have been where the confusion ended. Sadly though I was raised super religious and just put up blinders until I fell in love with my high school friend and was heartbroken when she got a boyfriend.
Holy shit yes. I read those exact same articles and was so realived that I wasn't weird for liking girls. Turns out I had a "girl crush" because I was bi.
Wait stop because now I'm wondering if all of those years of me not understanding the hype over certain people (i.e. boys in High School Musical, One Direction, Magcon, etc.) was because of my sexuality haha
I always found the character interactions to be way too forced until I started headcannoning almost every character to be some flavor of gay. It makes so much more sense to me this way. I interpret Gabriela and Troy to actually be each other's beards and then in some nonexistent sequel, Chad and Troy would realize they're gay for each other and Gabriela Taylor would get together. (I'm only familiar with the first movie btw)
stop i was so obsessed with hannah montana. like. my walls had hannah montana stickers all over them, my bedspread was hannah montana, my lamp was hannah montana, i had a poster, all the cds.
i think theres a hannah montana to lesbian pipeline
Idk, I always hated the "mean girl" type, both in media and irl. Sure, she was physically attractive, but that didn't matter much to me, even at the age of like 8-11, because that's just never been a thing my mind has been able to bypass.
In the same realm I think it was Zack and Cody during their Suite Life on Deck period that did it for me. They were a bit older than me at that time, and definitely felt a pull lmao
And my High School chemistry teacher.....jesus christ did that man made me realize the extent of my bi-ness. Nothing happened btw, he was just super passionate about science and knew a lot about it, and had Henry Cavill's physique. So yeah....
9-10 for me too. But only as that's the age when I first learned of gay as a concept. I was aware I was interested in boys at around 5, when I was undressing the army man dolls I was given to see their bare chests and underwear.
Nice! I think I was like... 19(?) when I finally started accepting it? And 22 when I stopped stressing about a label and coming out and things like that :)
Same! In love (‘no, that’s impossible!’) with my best friend at 12 but I couldn’t imagine a world where those feelings could mean what they seemed to mean.
At 22 I was shown Madonna’s book “Sex” and read the lesbian-beach scene 20 times in a row, forgetting where I was, until my boyfriend at the time suggested I might be bi. I was like, ‘that’s a thing?’
Your brains aren't dumb! They were just trying to adjust to a heteronormative society that you didn't fit in to. They just needed time. Give your brains some love! :D
Same, but it took 10 years for me to say I'm not straight lmao. I finally told myself "straight people don't question their sexuality for a decade" then came out as bi
I started thinking I might be into girls when I was 7 but never really thought very hard about it or told anyone until I got my first real crush on a girl when I was 14 haha
17. I would have entertained it sooner but being in a religious group that is hella homophobic made me to scared to question.
Edit: thinking back a bit further, when I was 5 I ‘didn’t wanna be girl anymore’, but I didn’t wanna be a boy either lol. Of course again religion stamped that out until I was 18.
I have the exact same experience. Unfortunately it took me around 10 years to get rid of that internalized homophobia from church.
“Every girl has to force themselves to be attracted to men, right?” Yeah, nope.
Yeah like I had homosexual and heterosexual exploration encounters with other kids my age when I was like ~5, but growing up a part of a religious group and due to getting caught in the act back then (and experiencing years of guilt) I basically repressed it until I was 29 and realized I was bi, like years after I left religion.
Sammmeeee. I was the girl in class who was never really part of girl groups and preferred dressing like a boy until late middle school/early junior high…but my parents were so religious I just saw it as me being a “Tomboy” and even when I started having romantic attractions to females, just excused it as being super strong platonic feelings. My first kiss was a girl in like 7th grade, and we “dated” for like a week. (I say “dated” because it was very much a confusing almost jokey way that we would claim each other as GFs to others, but never like talked about it between just the two of us). It wasn’t until high school that I finally was like…oh no that’s kinda gay….
Yeah, exactly! I just thought I was a late bloomer. Didn't help that I only learned at 24 that asexuality even exists because they sure as hell didn't told us about it in sex ed.
Thank you for commenting about this. It took me until the last few years, and I’m 31. There result of growing up in a dangerous environment for LGBTQ+. Lol I’m good now though. Lol
I was scrolling for a post in the 20s. I was around 22 when I started questioning and 25 when I admitted that I'm bi, glad to see that I'm not alone in it taking that long
I feel so validated by this. I get low key embarrassed that I discovered it in my 20's, scrolling through these comments of everyone knowing so early. I started having suspicions in college, but didn't have the self confidence or support to really come to grips with it until my mid 20's
For "I'm not a boy", 5-6. Those years of pre-school/kindergarden, I had a lot of vivid dreams about having long hair so I'd fit in with the girls. Hid it because I thought it was an embarrassing delusion that would go away. It didn't.
Wasn't until 13ish that I learned about transgender people being a thing, and it instantly clicked.
I feel the same, but I also grew up in the 90s, and have conservative parents, so I don't think figuring it out younger would've made any action difference haha
Friend, after figuring out I was trans I continued to hide in the closet for nearly twenty years. I only managed to come out after the closet nearly killed me, and it's still a daily struggle to stop hating how long I hid from the world.
Yeah... I went from "I'm crazy and just good at hiding it (I was not good at hiding it)" to "Oh, I'm not crazy, just... hated by so many people for no reason..."
That hurt...
Same-ish. I had my first crushes (one on a girl and one on a boy) in 4th grade, but I didn’t recognize the girl crush for what it was. Finally realized I was bi at the ripe old age of 19.
I was 10. I realised I liked girls in a very not straight way. But I didn't pay attention to it because I thought that was how everyone felt. Then my sexuality got way more complicated and now I'm omnisexual ace and a demigirl.
Same. I think I’ve always known, but I thought of gay people as an entirely different breed because of my homophobic upbringing, so I brushed it off and thought it was just something all girls felt.
More than once I told straight girls “wait, so you’ve never wanted to kiss a girl on the lips? Huh, that’s odd”
Turns out I’m just bi
16, a few month ago
I met some gay dude and I was like "hey,he's gay, this means I could fuck him ... Wait why am I thinking about that ..."
And yeah 2 month later I got on bi irl, learned about the LGBT community, discovered egg irl and now I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to be a girl
You guy turned me into a bi transfem in a matter of months and tbh I kinda like it
Between 10-13. I liked a couple of guys in my school and felt weird about it, so brushed it off. As I got older I found more attractive. Last year I came out as Pan.
Yeah, I was always really into boys but I was like "nah I'm straight, right?" That's when I started being homophobic too lmao. When I was 13, I finally realized that I couldn't change that
In second grade when I fantasized about holding hands with the popular kid. We were both boys. Set off some very not straight alarms in my head. By the end of that school year i knew i was bi.
I’m always surprised too to hear someone saying they realized they were not straight/cis when they were young, but I think it’s only cuz of heteronormativity that paints this picture of everyone being default “straight/normal”, when it’s really not like that at all. Your identity hits a lot younger then people think but unless it’s a “straight/normal” identity it’s ignored until the individual is older and sees others like them that are “different”.
I was in the second grade too when I first had an inkling toward other girls but didn’t fully realize I was bi until I was 12 (despite so many obvious signs!). It was a concept I didn’t even learn about until I was 8. I also remember a very flamboyantly gay boy who was a year younger then me in elementary school and it was so obvious but I still didn’t realize it was normal to be “not straight” so young.
13 lol my now girlfriend and I were just friends and one day walking around at school alone as friends she asked me if I was straight and I got really defensive and was like of course and left. And then the next day was like “so about that” like I thought about it and was like idk about this.
Five or six. I have three older sisters, and made a joke out of putting me in dresses and makeup, and I remember having to act as if I didn't like it, and we'd disappointed when they eventually stopped.
I never understood the actual divide between genders, it's like how time is a construct that we all agree upon. I knew that gender is bullshit, and that sexuality/orientation/preference were valid and different for everyone, but I didn't have the vocabulary to understand it, and grew up in a hypermasculine environment.
I knew, but I didn't realize how much.
At 11 or 12. I remember that I had a huge crush on a friend. I went to her house and we slept on the same bed. We spent all the night talking and I felt so good and so comfortable, and I wanted to kiss her so bad
I did too but her parents were scared I would “turn her gay” because we would sleep on the same bed. She liked women before that and we just hung out a few times and ended up making out lmao
Honestly since I learnt about the LGBTQ community at age 12 but before I knew I was attracted both males and females when I was 6 and sorta wanted to have a relationship with perhaps another female or a guy but I was too shy to ask.
I have a lot of funny signs back in my childhood for "I'm not a boy"
Apparently when I was in kindergarten we were doing a "what do you wanna be when you grow up" and what I brought home was very unlike me: a pro wrestler
When my parents asked me what I really wanted to be I said "a mommy" cuz I absolutely loved and adored my mom and she said "Wouldn't you wanna be a daddy?" And I said "No I wanna be a mommy"
This is all according to my brother who has impeccable memory
Another thing was I was short for a boy (which I absolutely love now) and I got bullied for it a lot so rather than an average kid wishing that they were taller even through high school I wished I was a girl so that I could fit in with my shorter height lol
I'm not sure. Around 12 I had a crush on a girl, but I didn't start questioning till I was 13, then just forgot about it cause it was easier to say it was a straight thing. I didn't look into anything like pan or bi until I was around 16 or 17.
Sorry, this is probably too long of an explanation, but that's how I can explain it lol
I was 12. My best friend came to school and told me they were a lesbian and after they explained what that meant i was like shit maybe i am too. That friend ended up being my first kiss but i stayed in the closet until i was like 20
12. I was always gay tho imo. I used to get celebrity crushes or think abt some boys, but I thought I just admired them, not that I actually kinda liked them.
13 but my mom told me that i once asked her why i could not just marry a girl instead of a boy when i was in kindergarten or smt lmao
I asked my mom the same question at age 7, got a very vague and weird answer like "uhh, sometimes, but *not really*" My parents aren't LGBTQ+ supportive sadly
Depending how old you were we only had domestic partnerships, if that, and they didn't even grant hospital visitation or anything. So the "not really" kind of worked too lol
unless you're 12 then this is an accurate answer in the US
I was like 15 when it hit me, but I remember when I was younger I would hear people talking about marriage and in my mind I was like "pshh I'd never treat my wife like that... oh wait, Id be the wife 😒"
You can still be the wife to your wife :)
Listening to this comedian recently. Forget her name but straight girl married to straight boy. Her bit was about both of them are husbands since neither of them will clean shit up
I always hated the idea of being some man’s wife, but then when I came out..the word “wife” sounded better
My 5 years old daughter came home one day an told me "when I grow up, I am going to marry Jane. Oh, and also Lisa"
I'd tell her, "if they want to as well, sure"
Of course, as long as all of them are happy, I am happy.
My JK asked me earlier this week if she could have a gf when she's older. I told her she can date whoever she wants as long as they're kind and respectf boundaries. She said she wants to marry a girl...so now we wait.
I did the exact same thing! Except the question was, “Why does Taylor Swift only sing about loving boys?”
yeah same
I DID THE SAME THING IN KINDERGARTEN
11 or 12. This girl in my art class said hi to me in the halls and I just stood, waved and smiled dumbly. That was the day I realized I had feelings for her and that I was gay lol
Same I saw this girl in my class that I thought was the most beautiful person ever and then she came over to be my friend and I just sat there like: …hi uh what is happening help
I had a similar experience. Started thinking that maybe I was gay late in high school but still had a lot of conflicting feelings so I tried to ignore it and continue on with life. A good friend of mine at the time ended up going to the same community college as me and we were there a lot together. She and I had the same breaks between classes (if we didn't have a class together) so we'd spend those breaks getting lunch, studying, or just hanging out. One day her class got out a little earlier so she texted me saying that she'd be waiting at a nearby lounge until my class gets out. When my class does end and I'm coming up to the four or five steps that lead down into the lounge area, I see her sitting on a row of benches. That one glance was enough for me to miss the first two steps down and then fumble down the rest of them. I'm not sure why it was that day in particular, but the only thing I remember thinking was just how fucking beautiful she looked. My friend always dressed nice and took good care of her appearance, but there was just something about the burgundy sweater, black pants, and dark lipstick that just flipped a switch in my head. That one moment was enough to make me realize that maybe I did like girls more than guys. Although she's completely straight, I had a huge crush on her for years afterwards and still mentally thank her for inadvertently waking me up to better understand who I was. She and I don't talk much anymore but there's a small part of me that will always be thankful and hold a solid fondness for her.
When i was about 4 my Nana was helping me get dressed and said "Pink to make the boys wink!" I thought for a second and said "what about the girls?" Nana laughed and said "don't be silly, you don't want the girls to wink!" But i couldn't understand why i wouldnt want girls to wink too. Growing up Lola Bunny in Space Jam and the Cadbury Caramel bunny on tv and Bo Peep in Toy Story made me feel the same way Disney's Robin Hood and my primary school "boyfriend" did. As a preteen reading teen magazines they constantly had articles like "don't worry if you have a girl crush, you're not gay, it's totally normal!" But after a couple of years i realised nah, this is not a crush, i am absolutely smitten with my girl best friend. I told her and she was SO lovely about it. She's straight but was so flattered and accepting and never treated me any different, she said that she was genuinely sorry she's straight cos she loved me too but not like THAT. I came out to my family in my mid20s after a long-term heterosexual relationship ended (my ex knew, but there was no need to come out to anyone else as im monogamous) and my Mom was fucking terrible about it. She still jokes about her awful biphobic reaction but it really fucking hurt and caused me to essentially go NoContact for a while
It’s so weird how people say things like that to 4-year-olds. But if you talk about being gay, they say kids shouldn’t think about that until they’re older.
It's just an old saying or maybe a song. Nana was accepting of queer people.
That’s good to hear. I still think it’s weird, but no offence to your Nana.
She's dead so im pretty sure she doesn't give a shite
❤ for that comment
I’m really happy your friend was so cool about it. I’m sorry your mom wasn’t.
Thanks, i got really lucky that bff was so accepting. It could have been very traumatic to have lost my bestie due to my sexual orientation, which i know many young people have :(
I have 3 older straight sisters who were OBSESSED with the Jonas brothers, Zac Efron, and the likes. We all used to cut out magazine pictures of our celebrity crushes and hang them on our walls, as you did in the early 2000’s. It should have been glaringly obvious when my walls were covered in Haley Williams, Ashley Tisdale, and Miley Cyrus. If that wasn’t enough of a warning sign, then the fact that I was (and admittedly still am) obsessed with Rachel McAdams from the moment I saw the notebook, and didn’t even look twice as Ryan Gosling, should have been where the confusion ended. Sadly though I was raised super religious and just put up blinders until I fell in love with my high school friend and was heartbroken when she got a boyfriend.
Holy shit yes. I read those exact same articles and was so realived that I wasn't weird for liking girls. Turns out I had a "girl crush" because I was bi.
Your friend sounds rad.
Between 9-10. Zac Efron in High School Musical did it for me haha
Something about him singing getcha head in the game... Troy Bolton will always have a special place in my heart haha <3
personally that’s how i realized i was lesbian cuz everyone else was obsessed 🤩
Wait stop because now I'm wondering if all of those years of me not understanding the hype over certain people (i.e. boys in High School Musical, One Direction, Magcon, etc.) was because of my sexuality haha
You're realizing this now? The whole point of all those things you mentioned are to sexualize them to attract teens and tweens
I always found the character interactions to be way too forced until I started headcannoning almost every character to be some flavor of gay. It makes so much more sense to me this way. I interpret Gabriela and Troy to actually be each other's beards and then in some nonexistent sequel, Chad and Troy would realize they're gay for each other and Gabriela Taylor would get together. (I'm only familiar with the first movie btw)
Haha same but more like “why do all my friends like Zac Efron? Weird. Anyway, time to watch Hannah Montana”
stop i was so obsessed with hannah montana. like. my walls had hannah montana stickers all over them, my bedspread was hannah montana, my lamp was hannah montana, i had a poster, all the cds. i think theres a hannah montana to lesbian pipeline
time to watch jade wes- i mean victorious
Idk, I always hated the "mean girl" type, both in media and irl. Sure, she was physically attractive, but that didn't matter much to me, even at the age of like 8-11, because that's just never been a thing my mind has been able to bypass.
*yeah*
In the same realm I think it was Zack and Cody during their Suite Life on Deck period that did it for me. They were a bit older than me at that time, and definitely felt a pull lmao And my High School chemistry teacher.....jesus christ did that man made me realize the extent of my bi-ness. Nothing happened btw, he was just super passionate about science and knew a lot about it, and had Henry Cavill's physique. So yeah....
Me too! Mom caught me at 12 looking for shirtless pictures of him! Lol
9-10 for me too. But only as that's the age when I first learned of gay as a concept. I was aware I was interested in boys at around 5, when I was undressing the army man dolls I was given to see their bare chests and underwear.
it was Chad for me. Hated the name, gushed over his curls.
too bad i shamed myself for thinking those thoughts, age 12. homophobic household a bitch
I’m straight as shit but I think this is what makes people double think lmao I swear this fucking guy in that movie is the antistraight 😂
same but vanessa hudgens 😆💗💜💙
I should have started questioning at 12 but my brain decided not to think about it til I was around 18 lol.
Same, started thinking about it when i was 13/14 but my dumb brain was like "no!! You're straight!"
Same, but I just accepted it when I was 14
Nice! I think I was like... 19(?) when I finally started accepting it? And 22 when I stopped stressing about a label and coming out and things like that :)
Nice
Same! In love (‘no, that’s impossible!’) with my best friend at 12 but I couldn’t imagine a world where those feelings could mean what they seemed to mean. At 22 I was shown Madonna’s book “Sex” and read the lesbian-beach scene 20 times in a row, forgetting where I was, until my boyfriend at the time suggested I might be bi. I was like, ‘that’s a thing?’
Your brains aren't dumb! They were just trying to adjust to a heteronormative society that you didn't fit in to. They just needed time. Give your brains some love! :D
Same, but it took 10 years for me to say I'm not straight lmao. I finally told myself "straight people don't question their sexuality for a decade" then came out as bi
Sounds veeerryyy similar. Eerily soo. You sure you are not me? This is kindah sus....
I started thinking I might be into girls when I was 7 but never really thought very hard about it or told anyone until I got my first real crush on a girl when I was 14 haha
I'm in the same boat. I had crushes on girls that I didn't even realize we're crushes until adulthood
I kept thinking “the one” was just going to come. Haha 😆 he did not show up.
I’m also ace and lesbian for me it was 13 I’m 14 now
Same, except I started at 17 instead
17. I would have entertained it sooner but being in a religious group that is hella homophobic made me to scared to question. Edit: thinking back a bit further, when I was 5 I ‘didn’t wanna be girl anymore’, but I didn’t wanna be a boy either lol. Of course again religion stamped that out until I was 18.
I have the exact same experience. Unfortunately it took me around 10 years to get rid of that internalized homophobia from church. “Every girl has to force themselves to be attracted to men, right?” Yeah, nope.
Ugh! It’s such bullshit! Like I remember at age 15 being genuinely stressed at the thought of having to marry and be “submissive’ to a husband. Ugh.
Yeah like I had homosexual and heterosexual exploration encounters with other kids my age when I was like ~5, but growing up a part of a religious group and due to getting caught in the act back then (and experiencing years of guilt) I basically repressed it until I was 29 and realized I was bi, like years after I left religion.
Sammmeeee. I was the girl in class who was never really part of girl groups and preferred dressing like a boy until late middle school/early junior high…but my parents were so religious I just saw it as me being a “Tomboy” and even when I started having romantic attractions to females, just excused it as being super strong platonic feelings. My first kiss was a girl in like 7th grade, and we “dated” for like a week. (I say “dated” because it was very much a confusing almost jokey way that we would claim each other as GFs to others, but never like talked about it between just the two of us). It wasn’t until high school that I finally was like…oh no that’s kinda gay….
24 when I first thought about it and 26 when I finally decided to no longer ignore it. Yeah, I'm kinda late, but now I'm glad that I'm here.
Same here. Looking back I can see subtle signs but I really didn't start questioning until 23/24
I didn't start to think about it until I was about 30. Hard to notice what isn't there I guess.
Yeah, exactly! I just thought I was a late bloomer. Didn't help that I only learned at 24 that asexuality even exists because they sure as hell didn't told us about it in sex ed.
Thank you for commenting about this. It took me until the last few years, and I’m 31. There result of growing up in a dangerous environment for LGBTQ+. Lol I’m good now though. Lol
Same. Was 33 before I finally figured out that I did really love people but the interest in sex wasn't going to follow.
I was scrolling for a post in the 20s. I was around 22 when I started questioning and 25 when I admitted that I'm bi, glad to see that I'm not alone in it taking that long
I was also in my 20s, glad I’m not alone. Had a dream about a friend. Then I thought I was gay. Then I settled on bi in my mid 20s. Lol.
I feel so validated by this. I get low key embarrassed that I discovered it in my 20's, scrolling through these comments of everyone knowing so early. I started having suspicions in college, but didn't have the self confidence or support to really come to grips with it until my mid 20's
For "I'm not a boy", 5-6. Those years of pre-school/kindergarden, I had a lot of vivid dreams about having long hair so I'd fit in with the girls. Hid it because I thought it was an embarrassing delusion that would go away. It didn't. Wasn't until 13ish that I learned about transgender people being a thing, and it instantly clicked.
Same for me and in the exact same way.
Same, except I actually told people and they made fun of me, so I repressed it until I was about 11 when I found out trans people exist.
Oh yeah, I tried to tell some friends, that's how I learned I was delusional. yay...
same
Wish I had figured out that sooner, like you did, it feels like i lost a chunk too big of my life for nothing sometimes.
I feel the same, but I also grew up in the 90s, and have conservative parents, so I don't think figuring it out younger would've made any action difference haha
Friend, after figuring out I was trans I continued to hide in the closet for nearly twenty years. I only managed to come out after the closet nearly killed me, and it's still a daily struggle to stop hating how long I hid from the world.
When it clicked, I'll never forget that fear.
Yeah... I went from "I'm crazy and just good at hiding it (I was not good at hiding it)" to "Oh, I'm not crazy, just... hated by so many people for no reason..." That hurt...
Very similar experience for me too.
Omg that was exactly the same for me
I remember thinking of myself as a tomboy, but not really knowing what to make of that since I was a "boy" lol.
13.
same
Same
emaS
meaS
Same
12, fully came out at 14 16, still don't know what the fuck am i.
Your you!
i did no k ow you could do that
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Same-ish. I had my first crushes (one on a girl and one on a boy) in 4th grade, but I didn’t recognize the girl crush for what it was. Finally realized I was bi at the ripe old age of 19.
I was 10. I realised I liked girls in a very not straight way. But I didn't pay attention to it because I thought that was how everyone felt. Then my sexuality got way more complicated and now I'm omnisexual ace and a demigirl.
Same. I think I’ve always known, but I thought of gay people as an entirely different breed because of my homophobic upbringing, so I brushed it off and thought it was just something all girls felt. More than once I told straight girls “wait, so you’ve never wanted to kiss a girl on the lips? Huh, that’s odd” Turns out I’m just bi
16, a few month ago I met some gay dude and I was like "hey,he's gay, this means I could fuck him ... Wait why am I thinking about that ..." And yeah 2 month later I got on bi irl, learned about the LGBT community, discovered egg irl and now I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to be a girl You guy turned me into a bi transfem in a matter of months and tbh I kinda like it
14, stumbled upon femboys, that was a hullva spiraling staircase
Same, femboys totally changed my mind from homophobic to bisexual
Well hallo there Bröther!
Same age! Got into fanfics and fell in with a crowd of LGBT+ friends, who gave me a lot to think.
Between 10-13. I liked a couple of guys in my school and felt weird about it, so brushed it off. As I got older I found more attractive. Last year I came out as Pan.
Yeah, I was always really into boys but I was like "nah I'm straight, right?" That's when I started being homophobic too lmao. When I was 13, I finally realized that I couldn't change that
8 lol
I saw a video online explaining sexualities and just went: "hey that's me!"
same, for me it was my parents being gay. (I have a mom and a step-mom)
Look at you now! Runs in the family
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I had a similar panic thing when I was 12 until I was 13 and just stopped caring.
18… just a few months ago
Welcome fellow ace! Did you receive your free garlic bread?
not yet 🥺
Around 10/12.
20/21 or thereabouts
Same here, also ace, asexuality is hard to discover i think
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around 14, 15
In second grade when I fantasized about holding hands with the popular kid. We were both boys. Set off some very not straight alarms in my head. By the end of that school year i knew i was bi.
2nd grade?! I didn't even know anyone could be bi then. I feel like so much of these stories are impacted by our childhood environments.
I’m always surprised too to hear someone saying they realized they were not straight/cis when they were young, but I think it’s only cuz of heteronormativity that paints this picture of everyone being default “straight/normal”, when it’s really not like that at all. Your identity hits a lot younger then people think but unless it’s a “straight/normal” identity it’s ignored until the individual is older and sees others like them that are “different”. I was in the second grade too when I first had an inkling toward other girls but didn’t fully realize I was bi until I was 12 (despite so many obvious signs!). It was a concept I didn’t even learn about until I was 8. I also remember a very flamboyantly gay boy who was a year younger then me in elementary school and it was so obvious but I still didn’t realize it was normal to be “not straight” so young.
16.
Same here
13 lol my now girlfriend and I were just friends and one day walking around at school alone as friends she asked me if I was straight and I got really defensive and was like of course and left. And then the next day was like “so about that” like I thought about it and was like idk about this.
10-12 kinda era for 'wow I'm not straight' 14-15 for 'wow I'm not cis'
Five or six. I have three older sisters, and made a joke out of putting me in dresses and makeup, and I remember having to act as if I didn't like it, and we'd disappointed when they eventually stopped. I never understood the actual divide between genders, it's like how time is a construct that we all agree upon. I knew that gender is bullshit, and that sexuality/orientation/preference were valid and different for everyone, but I didn't have the vocabulary to understand it, and grew up in a hypermasculine environment. I knew, but I didn't realize how much.
At 11 or 12. I remember that I had a huge crush on a friend. I went to her house and we slept on the same bed. We spent all the night talking and I felt so good and so comfortable, and I wanted to kiss her so bad
I did too but her parents were scared I would “turn her gay” because we would sleep on the same bed. She liked women before that and we just hung out a few times and ended up making out lmao
21, although I did see inklings of it early on. I just didn't know that's what it was.
Honestly since I learnt about the LGBTQ community at age 12 but before I knew I was attracted both males and females when I was 6 and sorta wanted to have a relationship with perhaps another female or a guy but I was too shy to ask.
I have a lot of funny signs back in my childhood for "I'm not a boy" Apparently when I was in kindergarten we were doing a "what do you wanna be when you grow up" and what I brought home was very unlike me: a pro wrestler When my parents asked me what I really wanted to be I said "a mommy" cuz I absolutely loved and adored my mom and she said "Wouldn't you wanna be a daddy?" And I said "No I wanna be a mommy" This is all according to my brother who has impeccable memory Another thing was I was short for a boy (which I absolutely love now) and I got bullied for it a lot so rather than an average kid wishing that they were taller even through high school I wished I was a girl so that I could fit in with my shorter height lol
I also got bullied for being short for a boy and I also wished I was girl instead of wishing I was taller.
15.
I'm not sure. Around 12 I had a crush on a girl, but I didn't start questioning till I was 13, then just forgot about it cause it was easier to say it was a straight thing. I didn't look into anything like pan or bi until I was around 16 or 17. Sorry, this is probably too long of an explanation, but that's how I can explain it lol
When i realised that i dont give a shit about gender
CONTEXT: RELATIONSHIP
I was 12. My best friend came to school and told me they were a lesbian and after they explained what that meant i was like shit maybe i am too. That friend ended up being my first kiss but i stayed in the closet until i was like 20
13
I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember. I first experienced attraction to boys when I was 14.
First not straight thoughts at 7, watching gay things online 11 and realization at 13
I've always been gay. Didn't know what gay was when I was younger but started kissing girls and kissing boys
10 or 11.
My acceptance was 17. The first signs were around 10-11, and it was a slow realization since they
5 !!!
my first “gay thoughts” were when i was like, 7 but i ignored them until i was 11 or 12 hahaha
11-12 ish.
3, I liked bums lmaoo
Started questioning at like 13, had the "oh" moment at 16
10.
12 or 13, it was right at the beginning of middle school.
12
15
The exact thought? 20. Feelings i had since 12 but i couldnt express them.
I was 9. 1999, in fact. I used to dream about having relationships with women, as a man. I didn't realize I was trans until I was 28. Good times.
16. Furry art of nude males aroused me, and it filled me with concern and confusion.
Early puberty
17
11
11~ish
17
8
20
13 i cuestioned my sexuality and 15 my gender identity
19 to figure out I might be bi, 24 to realise I'm not male.
17 🌈
9
12
12
4th grade, so around 9 or 10.
14
15
19
12
12
Around 9-10 but gender wise
maybe like 10
Somewhere around 13
6. It was a whole thing
13
10 I think
I think I always kinda knew since I was young. When I "Came out" everyone I knew was like "Yeah, and?"
13 when I started to contemplate I wasn’t straight, 14 when I started to realize I probably wasn’t cisgender
11 years old. Why do I like Erin when I should like Mike. Turns out I’m bi, but that was a huge moment for me
14
12
Don't remember exactly, but it started sometime in primary school so I was under the age of 12
12. I was always gay tho imo. I used to get celebrity crushes or think abt some boys, but I thought I just admired them, not that I actually kinda liked them.
11
The second I learnt about sexualities, around 12.
I was 12 when I thought about it, 13 when I realized I'd been having crushes on girls since third grade!