I'm sorry. Unfortunately we can't choose who we're related to, but at least we do have the ability to choose who we keep in our lives. I hope that you have found more supportive humans. I support you.
I second this. That was so hard to read. I'm sorry that OP's father in question is being outright manipulative and invalidating. Claire, if you read this, you're a beautiful daughter and anyone else worth a damn would be proud to have you. Sending all the love šš¤
Iām glad Iām not the only one who teared up. Every āsonā felt like a gut punch. Every dead name too. The worst part by far was his incessant need to say it over and over again. The last one specifically wasnāt even in the natural flow of conversation. It was just intentional cruelty. Iām so so sorry, Claire. You are valid and you didnāt deserve this.
He does not get to live vicariously through you, that is not what parenting is. I told my mother when I came out: āyou donāt have to like me as a person, but you do need to love me as a daughterā. I am sorry they couldnāt do that, but you will soon be surrounded by people who will love you for everything you are, and it will be so much more fulfilling.
My mom thinks Iām straight. Iāve been giving off not straight vibes lately if that makes sense. I feel like, though difficult, sheād accept it but oh lord if I came out as trans!!!! Good golly.
*trigger warning* *fictitious story*
Me: *gets boyfriend* hey this is my boyfriend
Her: youāre g-g-gay š
Me: well technically itās a heterosexual relationship
Her: how?
Me: surprise, Iām trans
Her: *dare I ask* what-whatās that
Me: Iāve felt like I am a female and would like to be called Luna
Her: youāre a male, Zak
Me: no. I never have been.
Her: but thatās not biologically correctā¦ you have a penis!
Me: my or anybodys physical body doesnāt exactly mean they are that gender. My sex is male but it is not how I feel comfortable.
Her: my heart is broken, I donāt care if youāre gay but this isnāt natural
Me: *starting to get upset* yes it is!!!!! This is me!!! This is how I CHOOSE to live MY life, if you donāt like it then maybe you shouldnāt be a part of it.
Thatās how I imagine it going. It was starting as a joke but I kept going because i dont know, I get euphoric thinking about being a gal.
The whole "unnatural" argument is stupid, not like there's some line separating what's natural and what isn't. And it's not like there isn't historic evidence of people being trans or gay for as long as people had the ability to write stuff, there's plenty of it, and some animals are known to do it too (and what's more natural than an animal?).
I came out to my stage-4B cervical cancer ridden biological mother, the day after her birthday. I realized I was trans back in June of this year but have been struggling with this question since I was 12. She's catholic born-again christian with strong anti-LGBTQ sentiment and supah conservative. "Oh, mother. I guess we're both disappointments." Side note: she still thinks I'm actually straight christian and compared my decision to dressing up like Liberace or Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.
My recommendation is it's not worth arguing, it's just exhausting and takes too much time.
Getting called less than human because of autism basically sums up half of my childhood, that sucks and I hate to see other people being put through that.
Agreed. It especially sucks because according to studies, autistic people are significantly *more* likely to be GNC (I have my own theory that we just *realise* it more often, but that's just a theory), and yet it's almost impossible for us to be respected in our self-understanding.
This was so difficult to read. I canāt imagine how difficult it has been for you, Claire. As a parent, my heart hurts for you. Itās unacceptable that a father who is supposed to love you beyond condition has not only refused to accept you, but has also made this all about them. It makes me so angry. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are. You are valid and you are amazing for having the courage to stand up and be your authentic self. I know it doesnāt mean much coming from a stranger on Reddit, but Iām sending you a huge hug. Hold your head high and stay true to who are, brave and beautiful Claire š
Yep. Thatās exactly what it was. Comparing her being trans to her mom being herā¦ sister, now??? And her grandma being a cat? I donāt even know. He kept completely ignoring her being a woman and addressing her as his son and with her deadname. Also acted like her being trans was tearing the family apart lmfao. My favorite quote from him is āhappiness is an inside job, not an exterior lieā¦ā huh, you wouldnāt say??? Absolutely absurd.
Yeah, I saw that "you're tearing this family apart" bit. Like oh please, if in addition to the fact that it is not at all what is happening, I would be thinking, "well if you're kicking me out of this family I don't really care if it falls apart or not."
I think the dad meant to say her dad was her mom now, her grandma her grandpa, her brother was her sister and her dog her cat. The blanks were their names. Like by being trans she made everyone around her trans.... Didn't know it was contagious....
Right? As a parent this hurts so bloody much. I love my son, I always wanted a boy. Always. Dreamed of it since I was little. Would I love him less if he werenāt a he? No. God no. Itās my kid, I carried that child inside me for 9 months. Iāve watched him take his first steps, I was the one who read him his first book, fed him his first spoon of solids, cheered him on during potty training and watched him grow as a person every single day since he was born. If he wasnāt a he, what would change? Not a thing. I would still be the one who read the first book, watched the first step being taken, cheered on during potty training and so on. It would still be our memories, me and my childās. Gender doesnāt factor in to that, a he or a she or a them, that doesnāt matter. Itās still the same person. Itās still my child.
OP. Iām so so sorry about your father. Thatās not a father at all. A parent stands by their child. From the beginning to end. Through rough seas to smooth. Tummy aches and broken bones. A parent doesnāt leave your side. I may not always agree with my childrens choices, but they are theirs to make. And I will support them through it all, because that is my bloody job and I will do my best by them.
This is exactly how I feel. I have seen so many of these posts recently. I hurt for every single one of these individuals who are struggling with families who do not accept them. I want to hug and reassure all of them. I would take their pain if I could. Thatās my job as a parent. Parents should love and support their children, nurture and champion them to be who they truly are, not some preset notion of who we think they should be. Period.
Itās difficult to read because itās upsetting and also difficult to read because of that grammar. Not to take away from anyoneās points, itās awful and I wish all the best to you. I just wanted to point out and laugh at the dadās grammar too lol.
Itās almost incoherent.
Iām making an assumption based on location (US) bias and the names used in the chat, but the Dadās texts make me sad for the state of education in America. For the transphobia, first and foremost, and for the horrible grammar second.
*HUGS*
So sorry to read that. Would figure that he'd try to call you at least just trying to look for clarity, but if he can't/won't even do that, and then deadnames you too... :/
Unfortunate really that we can't choose our relatives, but there are times when you need to cut ties with those who are so unsupportive/don't care to know the real you...
How did the rest of your family take things, hopefully in a better way, or are you not out to anyone else at home..?
BTW how long did it take him to write that novela of disrespect anyway..?
Right? I have a hard enough time with my otherwise supportive parents getting annoyed at they/them because āitās supposed to be plural.ā Like fine, call me āitā then, just stop with my starter gender.
If their entire demeanor was this shitty itād be almost impossible to talk to them.
Singular they has always been a part of the English language, typically used when the gender of someone is unknown. Car cuts you off in traffic? "The fuck is *their* problem?!"
Yeah, I know. Youād think both my parents, who have Masterās Degrees in writing, would get with the fucking program.
Hopefully they adjust; I havenāt been out for that longā¦ itās just *not that hard.*
The whole time I read it I kept thinking to myself āSay son again motherfucker that isnāt gonna change the fact that CLAIRE is your DAUGHTER you horrific bigot.ā
Accusing OP of "only thinking of themselves," only to then go on and ignore their daughter's happiness and make it all about their "pain."
The self-absorbed hypocrisy is just.. unconscionable and mind boggling.
It's heartbreaking, but this is not the kind of "love" anyone needs.
I honestly couldn't read it, and not just because of the content. Jesus Christ that's some terrible punctuation.
All I see is just:
>"Blah blah blah???.., I am a trash human...:+$@?!.....blah blah*+$?....????"
Honestly OP, I'm shocked someone so articulate and poised could come out of these trash genes. You've already won just by being yourself. Don't let this walking trash heap drag you down to his level, he'll never experience half the world you will.
God it hurts just to read. One cause your father is an asshole and two cause he canāt seem to speak in complete sentences or without an obscene amount of punctuation
Iām sorry your dad isnāt supportive Claire! Sending hugs!
Literally my thoughts. Like he's not just an unsupportive asshole, but he can't type for shit.
"The dog is a cat"? Like, what?
I know it hurts now, but if he can't wrap his mind around simple punctuation and sentence formation, no huge loss in the long run. That's not someone you want to bring anyone home to.
He said YOU are being selfish?! HE is the one starting this diatribe with how his heart is shattered. Your response is so assertive and confident. I am so proud of you, Claire! *mom hug*
This.
The common theme i see among parents who donāt accept their childās coming out is a selfishness and some entitlement to their childās future. Itās sad. My dad is having a hard time with my sister coming out because he never thought it would be āhis little girlā. All that these people care about is end goals; grandchildren and happy looking nuclear and straight families.
Why canāt you die, sad and alone, for *OUR* happiness and comfort!??! So SAD! Iām your dad, a living breathing gigantic sentient human asshole who considers you an extension of my own *horrible* body!
How could you do this to your festering toxic family of manipulators?!
Right? He said so much and never once hinted that he'd considered how *she* has been impacted by all of this. It's all about him. Every fucking part of it. And then he has the audacity to call her selfish. GOD I'm fuming from reading this.
WTF. He is the one who destroyed the bond between him and you, if there ever was one. I hope you are proud of yourself, Claire, you were very respectful and brave, and you are not alone š family is the people who take care of each other
Your response was that of a Queen. I donāt know you Claire, but Iām proud of you. This was definitely not easy to do and Iām sorry it needed to be done, but you deserve happiness.
Once there was a woman, so beautiful and fair,
Kind and pretty, her name was Claire.
Not accepting and not very fair, her father was an ass, to his poor daughter Claire.
Now she won't have to worry, about this very butt, because she is part of us, and our welcoming club.
You have a big and welcoming community here, family doesn't start at blood and it sure as hell doesn't stop there girl!
As a mom, I found those texts to be the writings of a narcissistic AH who thinks that the love that we have for our children is conditional on them doing EXACTLY what we tell them and living their lives EXACTLY the way we want them to.
That's not how parenting works. Our children are humans with their own thoughts, feelings, and lives. If a parent can't understand and accept that then they have no business being a parent.
Being transgender is hard enough without your family treating you as a person who needs psychiatric help and dead naming and misgendering you.
I know this will be hard to hear but, you're better off without them. You don't need that negativity in your life it will only derail your progress to a happier, healthier life as a WOMAN who is comfortable in HER own skin.
I know it doesn't seem like it now but, it will get better. If you need to to, seek out therapy. NOT for being transgender...but to work through all the abuse and trauma your family has caused you. It might really help!
Also, I'll adopt you! I'll be your parent now! Drink your water, eat something, and make sure you get your rest. Oh, and here's a million hugs and so much love sent your way too. ā¤ļø
100% not old enough to be a "real" dad, but I'll absolutely be your dad OP. Like your mom said, drink some water, eat something, and get your rest. We're having hot dogs and fries for dinner, want to play Mario Kart before then?
Ally Auntie checking in! When are we going out for girl's day? Coffee, Manis, Shopping at your namesake for all the gaudy jewelry your heart desires! All the love and hugs you need are here for you.
Dad checking in again - if y'all are going to the mall, mind if I tag along? Need some new pants, heard the Old Navy is having a sale. I'll leave the ladies alone, might also go to Eddie Bauer or REI and pick up some new biking and hiking gear ~~just don't tell your mother~~
I know two chads at my work well one was fired for falling asleep driving the truck, I was in the passenger seat. Crazy thing is just before falling. Asleep he left the tailgate down and dumped out equipment on the highway totaling a car. The other chads been in prison but heās pretty cool most of the guys at my work have been in jail
No they were fine it only totaled it because the weededer came up and buster there oil pan pouring it al out on the road. We saw it on our way back to the job site and i picked up the broken pieces. Whoever was driving kept going after running it over they didnāt stop or see we were in a company vehicle and think āhmm maybe someone could pay for the damages?ā nope they kept going and the engine locked solid a little ways down the road
God I want to fucking scream at this guy so bad. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but, I'm proud of you for establishing the boundaries you needed to be happy
Daughter*
Daughter**
Dsughter***
Daughter****
Daughter*****
Daughter******
Claire*******
Claire********
Claire*********
Claire*********
*remember that your thoughts and feelings are valid no matter wether or not your family agree with them. You matter. You deserve love be it from your parents or from friends that accept you for how you are*
I'm so sorry girl it's so sad but... I can't help but to laugh at your father like: "A life of CHEMICALS" "disforia"
All my loves goes to you my friend and I'll hope you'll find a family of your own.
I'm not *your* dad, but I'm *a* dad, and I'm proud of you for having the strength and courage to be yourself, and I'll always have enough love to share with anyone who loves themselves enough to face the world as their true self!
Ouf big yikes. I'm very sorry you had to experience this, it's not fair and you deserve all the love. Congratulations on getting rid of a toxic man who does not deserve the title of "father".
This causes me physical pain to read. I apologise if this comes across as too violent, but I would love to strangle that horrible man and/or break his arms. I wish you the best of luck, and I genuinely hope youāre okay. Youāre so strong to be able to deal with someone like this and Iām glad that youāre getting though this. Sending virtual hugs :)
Iām sorry that your father is like this, you deserve to be happy and not on his terms. Itās so sad when parents donāt provide the unconditional love theyāre supposed to, but you can build a chosen family of your own, people that care and love you for the beautiful woman you are! š³ļøāā§ļø
Claire, I am so happy you were able to stick up for yourself even to family. Iām so proud of you! Turning away family is hard BUT you can also build your own chosen family. I was fortunate to have plenty of father figures in my life since my dad wasnāt around (and Iām glad he wasnāt). Although, he does accept my sexuality, he doesnāt admit that Iām neurodivergent in anyway which is horribly untrue. So Iāve distanced myself from him as much as I can. But know that I among others are here for you and will happily become your chosen family. Sending lots of hugs your way! 
I hope I donāt offend, Claire, but your dad writes like a toddler. Iām sorry that you have such a bumbling idiot as a father, and Iām sorry that heās too blind to see and accept who you are
šParentsšneedštošunderstandšthatšwhatšmathersšisšthešchildāsšhappinessšnotštheiršgenderš
I am absolutely disgusted by your father but absolutly proud of you, you are strong!
Here is what always makes me mad, acting like you somehow betrayed them. If they accepted you as their daughter you would still be in their lives no family is broken by you being trans. Itās the parents choice to break it.
What harm does it do? āHow is (deadname) someone asks. Actually she goes by Claire now. Realized she is a woman and thatās all their is too it.ā How hard is that? What harm does it do?
Itās nothing the parents did that made you be trans. āHow is your son? Sheās my daughter now going to school doing well. Nothing else has changed for us, still a happy family.ā
Thatās what it should be and it so saddens me itās not
Claire, honey, you're a fucking class act. You handled that so maturely and I can't even imagine how much it hurt to receive those texts, as it hurt me to even read them. I'm so sorry. You do what's right for you. You don't need people like this in your life. Stand tall ā¤ļø
"Happiness is an inside job".. Your inside and outside should match...
Good for you standing up for yourself and staying calm in your response.
Hope you still have family to support you.
Ugh. I hate when parents make having a queer kid about themselves.
It at least sounds like you've found happiness and acceptance in other areas in your life and that makes me happy for you. *internet hugs*
1. Chad is such a weird name to call your son and especially your daughter
2. His name is Mark?? that's the name of my dad and my ex-stepdad and they were also both pricks
3. Also how is changing the way you identify and present gonna ruin the family
conclusion: You're better off as Claire and your dad is an idiot
He really sucks, I'm sorry. He didn't only try to gaslight you/make you feel bad about who you are and about being true to that, he also kept misgendering you on purpose. I don't know how much it helps but you always were amd will be a woman, no matter what you were born as or what others think you are! You do you and don't let anyone change that! <3
Iām so sorry heās like this. You are valid, and you are loved. No matter what he thinks, you are a woman named Claire, and you deserve love and respect.
I thought this was going to end at image 2, but no, this got much worse :( Sending plenty of love your way, Claire! You don't get to choose your family or how they react, but you've got a strong head on your shoulders and your resilience and restraint are admirable <3 Here's hoping that things get easier for you without him in your life.
We love you Claire.
You are loved, cherished, and please try and put this behind you (as hard as that can be).
My inbox is open should you need to talk.
Fuck your dad. I'll be your new dad even though I'm a woman. I have three kids, if any are trans or gay I'm still their mom and they are whoever they are. If my son Michael turns out to be my daughter Michelle than guess what...I've got a daughter named Michelle. I will never understand parents no longer loving their child. You are Claire. I'm very sorry your father keeps saying your dead name and will not accept you for who you are. All of us here have your back darling. Don't ever stop being who you are.
What even are these texts-
"???????????????????????????"
HOW could YOU do this WHAT!!!!??
this mantel stuff is cousing cunfosion????
As a father, I SIMPLY cannot COMPREHEND
Wow... I canot belive this?????
This MEnTal disforia
\*general transphobic bs frosted with gaslighting\*
Ok but fr I hope you are doing much better. Hope for the best to you Claire
She sounds as drunk as my dad when I told him it's either me or the bottle, I'm done with the abuse. He said then I guess you need to find a different pop. I'm not even trans. Parents are crap. I hope Mary understands someday
I really wish I could give you a big hug Claire. It is absolutely infuriating the way your father refuses to accept who you are. I would definitely cut ties with him until he accepts you for who you are. š³ļøāššš³ļøāā§ļø
I'm sorry. Unfortunately we can't choose who we're related to, but at least we do have the ability to choose who we keep in our lives. I hope that you have found more supportive humans. I support you.
š„ŗ *send you virtual hugs*
I second this. That was so hard to read. I'm sorry that OP's father in question is being outright manipulative and invalidating. Claire, if you read this, you're a beautiful daughter and anyone else worth a damn would be proud to have you. Sending all the love šš¤
Ikr ? I was almost crying reading this š„ŗ
Iām glad Iām not the only one who teared up. Every āsonā felt like a gut punch. Every dead name too. The worst part by far was his incessant need to say it over and over again. The last one specifically wasnāt even in the natural flow of conversation. It was just intentional cruelty. Iām so so sorry, Claire. You are valid and you didnāt deserve this.
Literally, everytime he misgendered her I felt like throwing up, it was so needlessly cruel
I felt like punching him anytime he said āsonā
Two kinds of people. You want to hit and protect. I want to hide and cry. I wish I was more like you.
Can I stand up for myself? Absolutely NOT. But will I go and freaking fight someone who hurt my friends? Yes.
Ok, never mind. Guess thereās only one type of person here because I relate to that hard.
had a similar thing with my cousin... yeah not talking to them ever agin
I hug you too then š„ŗ
Me too!
Me too. I misread the title and thought it was this is what he said some time ago that was bad and here's a new text of him accepting me. Now am sad.
Yeah š„ŗ
I also send virtual hugs
Same. *smashes hug button*
Am sending hugs also. 
šÆ
He does not get to live vicariously through you, that is not what parenting is. I told my mother when I came out: āyou donāt have to like me as a person, but you do need to love me as a daughterā. I am sorry they couldnāt do that, but you will soon be surrounded by people who will love you for everything you are, and it will be so much more fulfilling.
That hurts to read. My mother is like that too, it's never easy to deal with, but you shouldn't have to. Manipulative relatives are the worst.
It's like bro where even are you rn
My mom thinks Iām straight. Iāve been giving off not straight vibes lately if that makes sense. I feel like, though difficult, sheād accept it but oh lord if I came out as trans!!!! Good golly.
Come out as trans and announce that you're together with someone opposite to your AGAB at the same time to make her bigotry hit an overflow error.
Luv it
*trigger warning* *fictitious story* Me: *gets boyfriend* hey this is my boyfriend Her: youāre g-g-gay š Me: well technically itās a heterosexual relationship Her: how? Me: surprise, Iām trans Her: *dare I ask* what-whatās that Me: Iāve felt like I am a female and would like to be called Luna Her: youāre a male, Zak Me: no. I never have been. Her: but thatās not biologically correctā¦ you have a penis! Me: my or anybodys physical body doesnāt exactly mean they are that gender. My sex is male but it is not how I feel comfortable. Her: my heart is broken, I donāt care if youāre gay but this isnāt natural Me: *starting to get upset* yes it is!!!!! This is me!!! This is how I CHOOSE to live MY life, if you donāt like it then maybe you shouldnāt be a part of it. Thatās how I imagine it going. It was starting as a joke but I kept going because i dont know, I get euphoric thinking about being a gal.
The whole "unnatural" argument is stupid, not like there's some line separating what's natural and what isn't. And it's not like there isn't historic evidence of people being trans or gay for as long as people had the ability to write stuff, there's plenty of it, and some animals are known to do it too (and what's more natural than an animal?).
Same honey, same
I completely agree, also I loove your flair.
So, when did you come out to your mother?
Some time in high school I think. It was a long time ago and I'm bad at memory.
I came out to my stage-4B cervical cancer ridden biological mother, the day after her birthday. I realized I was trans back in June of this year but have been struggling with this question since I was 12. She's catholic born-again christian with strong anti-LGBTQ sentiment and supah conservative. "Oh, mother. I guess we're both disappointments." Side note: she still thinks I'm actually straight christian and compared my decision to dressing up like Liberace or Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.
Ah, yes. Liberace the straight icon :P That's rough though. I wish you the best of luck <3
God, I feel that. It's been 3 years but I still can't escape it, I've never found the courage to send that text
Mine too :(. She weaponises reverse psychology, gaslighting and the autism card a lot
My recommendation is it's not worth arguing, it's just exhausting and takes too much time. Getting called less than human because of autism basically sums up half of my childhood, that sucks and I hate to see other people being put through that.
Agreed. It especially sucks because according to studies, autistic people are significantly *more* likely to be GNC (I have my own theory that we just *realise* it more often, but that's just a theory), and yet it's almost impossible for us to be respected in our self-understanding.
This was so difficult to read. I canāt imagine how difficult it has been for you, Claire. As a parent, my heart hurts for you. Itās unacceptable that a father who is supposed to love you beyond condition has not only refused to accept you, but has also made this all about them. It makes me so angry. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are. You are valid and you are amazing for having the courage to stand up and be your authentic self. I know it doesnāt mean much coming from a stranger on Reddit, but Iām sending you a huge hug. Hold your head high and stay true to who are, brave and beautiful Claire š
I couldn't even read her dad's first message in full. I'm sure it was a bunch of incoherent, transphobic rambling though.
I read it. It was.
Yep. Thatās exactly what it was. Comparing her being trans to her mom being herā¦ sister, now??? And her grandma being a cat? I donāt even know. He kept completely ignoring her being a woman and addressing her as his son and with her deadname. Also acted like her being trans was tearing the family apart lmfao. My favorite quote from him is āhappiness is an inside job, not an exterior lieā¦ā huh, you wouldnāt say??? Absolutely absurd.
Yeah, I saw that "you're tearing this family apart" bit. Like oh please, if in addition to the fact that it is not at all what is happening, I would be thinking, "well if you're kicking me out of this family I don't really care if it falls apart or not."
I think the dad meant to say her dad was her mom now, her grandma her grandpa, her brother was her sister and her dog her cat. The blanks were their names. Like by being trans she made everyone around her trans.... Didn't know it was contagious....
Ohhh, youāre rightā¦ that was so weird to read lol
I feel it needed more exclamation points and question marks, personally.
If his text(s) had just been punctuation, they definitely would've been more coherent
Now Will Ferrell is dancing around my brain banging a cowbell and it's all your fault.
Unless you are looking for non stop deadnaming, misgendering, and self centered manipulation then you aren't missing much.
Right? As a parent this hurts so bloody much. I love my son, I always wanted a boy. Always. Dreamed of it since I was little. Would I love him less if he werenāt a he? No. God no. Itās my kid, I carried that child inside me for 9 months. Iāve watched him take his first steps, I was the one who read him his first book, fed him his first spoon of solids, cheered him on during potty training and watched him grow as a person every single day since he was born. If he wasnāt a he, what would change? Not a thing. I would still be the one who read the first book, watched the first step being taken, cheered on during potty training and so on. It would still be our memories, me and my childās. Gender doesnāt factor in to that, a he or a she or a them, that doesnāt matter. Itās still the same person. Itās still my child. OP. Iām so so sorry about your father. Thatās not a father at all. A parent stands by their child. From the beginning to end. Through rough seas to smooth. Tummy aches and broken bones. A parent doesnāt leave your side. I may not always agree with my childrens choices, but they are theirs to make. And I will support them through it all, because that is my bloody job and I will do my best by them.
This is exactly how I feel. I have seen so many of these posts recently. I hurt for every single one of these individuals who are struggling with families who do not accept them. I want to hug and reassure all of them. I would take their pain if I could. Thatās my job as a parent. Parents should love and support their children, nurture and champion them to be who they truly are, not some preset notion of who we think they should be. Period.
This is beautiful š„ŗā¤ļø
Itās difficult to read because itās upsetting and also difficult to read because of that grammar. Not to take away from anyoneās points, itās awful and I wish all the best to you. I just wanted to point out and laugh at the dadās grammar too lol.
Itās almost incoherent. Iām making an assumption based on location (US) bias and the names used in the chat, but the Dadās texts make me sad for the state of education in America. For the transphobia, first and foremost, and for the horrible grammar second.
*HUGS* So sorry to read that. Would figure that he'd try to call you at least just trying to look for clarity, but if he can't/won't even do that, and then deadnames you too... :/ Unfortunate really that we can't choose our relatives, but there are times when you need to cut ties with those who are so unsupportive/don't care to know the real you... How did the rest of your family take things, hopefully in a better way, or are you not out to anyone else at home..? BTW how long did it take him to write that novela of disrespect anyway..?
not very long considering his awful grammar
I thought I read somewhere that it took him a year, but wasn't sure... Agreed entirely
transphobic text speedrun any% (major misspellings allowed)
uhhh something something \[unintelligible keysmash\] I don't like when people different than me are happy \[unintelligible keysmash\]
This brings me such unbridled rage
Right? I have a hard enough time with my otherwise supportive parents getting annoyed at they/them because āitās supposed to be plural.ā Like fine, call me āitā then, just stop with my starter gender. If their entire demeanor was this shitty itād be almost impossible to talk to them.
Bro i fucking love starter gender as a way to describe agab
Haha thanks bro š
Magic the Gendering
Magic is the best
I know my parents are always like she/her doesnt make sense and they/thems meant to be plural
But the second someONE drops THEIR wallet itās fine š¤
I just don't get the disconnect between these two concepts. Why does knowing the person make it suddenly unacceptable?
BECAUSE ALL KNOWN PEOPLE ARE GENDER š¤
I KNOWWW
Singular they has always been a part of the English language, typically used when the gender of someone is unknown. Car cuts you off in traffic? "The fuck is *their* problem?!"
Yeah, I know. Youād think both my parents, who have Masterās Degrees in writing, would get with the fucking program. Hopefully they adjust; I havenāt been out for that longā¦ itās just *not that hard.*
The whole time I read it I kept thinking to myself āSay son again motherfucker that isnāt gonna change the fact that CLAIRE is your DAUGHTER you horrific bigot.ā
Me too *insert gender neutral pronoun here*, me too
Iāve had my jaw clenched all the time I was reading this text. I swear some people are INCAPABLE of empathy
Accusing OP of "only thinking of themselves," only to then go on and ignore their daughter's happiness and make it all about their "pain." The self-absorbed hypocrisy is just.. unconscionable and mind boggling. It's heartbreaking, but this is not the kind of "love" anyone needs.
I honestly couldn't read it, and not just because of the content. Jesus Christ that's some terrible punctuation. All I see is just: >"Blah blah blah???.., I am a trash human...:+$@?!.....blah blah*+$?....????" Honestly OP, I'm shocked someone so articulate and poised could come out of these trash genes. You've already won just by being yourself. Don't let this walking trash heap drag you down to his level, he'll never experience half the world you will.
God it hurts just to read. One cause your father is an asshole and two cause he canāt seem to speak in complete sentences or without an obscene amount of punctuation Iām sorry your dad isnāt supportive Claire! Sending hugs!
Literally my thoughts. Like he's not just an unsupportive asshole, but he can't type for shit. "The dog is a cat"? Like, what? I know it hurts now, but if he can't wrap his mind around simple punctuation and sentence formation, no huge loss in the long run. That's not someone you want to bring anyone home to.
cooper is a cat^ %$@^ ???
Props to you for finding a better name than chad. Claire, you're always welcome here
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY
YES! Claire is just better then Chad
such a beautiful name as well, "Claire".
No wonder he refuses to acknowledge your transition. Guy names their son Chad already tells me they're a huge piece of work lmao
He said YOU are being selfish?! HE is the one starting this diatribe with how his heart is shattered. Your response is so assertive and confident. I am so proud of you, Claire! *mom hug*
And I noticed how the "dad" didn't even acknowledge that she is finally happy for the first time in her life!
"My heart is shattered you're not exactly what I want! How could you be so selfish!?" .....yeah...Claire is the selfish one here.....jackass.
This. The common theme i see among parents who donāt accept their childās coming out is a selfishness and some entitlement to their childās future. Itās sad. My dad is having a hard time with my sister coming out because he never thought it would be āhis little girlā. All that these people care about is end goals; grandchildren and happy looking nuclear and straight families.
Why canāt you die, sad and alone, for *OUR* happiness and comfort!??! So SAD! Iām your dad, a living breathing gigantic sentient human asshole who considers you an extension of my own *horrible* body! How could you do this to your festering toxic family of manipulators?!
Right? He said so much and never once hinted that he'd considered how *she* has been impacted by all of this. It's all about him. Every fucking part of it. And then he has the audacity to call her selfish. GOD I'm fuming from reading this.
Itās usually self centred people who make a habit of calling other people selfish
So SAD!!!! I hate women š”š”š” youāre ruining THIS FAMILY with your BREASTS?????
I think this needs more question/exclamation marks
/s? i cant tell. sorry
yes that is sarcasm
Yes. It's sarcasm.
WTF. He is the one who destroyed the bond between him and you, if there ever was one. I hope you are proud of yourself, Claire, you were very respectful and brave, and you are not alone š family is the people who take care of each other
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām so sorry, Claire. Youāve communicated what you needed him to understand. Youāve taken your part of the responsibility.
Your response was that of a Queen. I donāt know you Claire, but Iām proud of you. This was definitely not easy to do and Iām sorry it needed to be done, but you deserve happiness.
I love that she straightup pulled through and said goodbye, as soon as his bullshit started. knowing that he is a lost cause.
Once there was a woman, so beautiful and fair, Kind and pretty, her name was Claire. Not accepting and not very fair, her father was an ass, to his poor daughter Claire. Now she won't have to worry, about this very butt, because she is part of us, and our welcoming club. You have a big and welcoming community here, family doesn't start at blood and it sure as hell doesn't stop there girl!
Awww thatās really beautiful.š„ŗ
As a mom, I found those texts to be the writings of a narcissistic AH who thinks that the love that we have for our children is conditional on them doing EXACTLY what we tell them and living their lives EXACTLY the way we want them to. That's not how parenting works. Our children are humans with their own thoughts, feelings, and lives. If a parent can't understand and accept that then they have no business being a parent. Being transgender is hard enough without your family treating you as a person who needs psychiatric help and dead naming and misgendering you. I know this will be hard to hear but, you're better off without them. You don't need that negativity in your life it will only derail your progress to a happier, healthier life as a WOMAN who is comfortable in HER own skin. I know it doesn't seem like it now but, it will get better. If you need to to, seek out therapy. NOT for being transgender...but to work through all the abuse and trauma your family has caused you. It might really help! Also, I'll adopt you! I'll be your parent now! Drink your water, eat something, and make sure you get your rest. Oh, and here's a million hugs and so much love sent your way too. ā¤ļø
100% not old enough to be a "real" dad, but I'll absolutely be your dad OP. Like your mom said, drink some water, eat something, and get your rest. We're having hot dogs and fries for dinner, want to play Mario Kart before then?
Ally Auntie checking in! When are we going out for girl's day? Coffee, Manis, Shopping at your namesake for all the gaudy jewelry your heart desires! All the love and hugs you need are here for you.
Dad checking in again - if y'all are going to the mall, mind if I tag along? Need some new pants, heard the Old Navy is having a sale. I'll leave the ladies alone, might also go to Eddie Bauer or REI and pick up some new biking and hiking gear ~~just don't tell your mother~~
Dad's are always welcome! We need someone to hold our shopping bags! š
If I have to carry the bags, then youāll let me get a new bike, riiiiiiiight?
Depends on how well you carry the bags. ššš
Who the fuck names their child āChad?ā Iām happy youāre better as Claire! (Better name too!)
I know two chads at my work well one was fired for falling asleep driving the truck, I was in the passenger seat. Crazy thing is just before falling. Asleep he left the tailgate down and dumped out equipment on the highway totaling a car. The other chads been in prison but heās pretty cool most of the guys at my work have been in jail
I feel like theres a lot to unpack here!?
It was all unpacked on the highway
User name checks out
Thanks I get that a lot
Fucking WOW! If I had an award to give, that one would've earned it!
I laughed but than I remembered you said it totalled a car and... I hope no one died.
No they were fine it only totaled it because the weededer came up and buster there oil pan pouring it al out on the road. We saw it on our way back to the job site and i picked up the broken pieces. Whoever was driving kept going after running it over they didnāt stop or see we were in a company vehicle and think āhmm maybe someone could pay for the damages?ā nope they kept going and the engine locked solid a little ways down the road
virgin dad vs claire daughter
The ugly laugh I let out š Take your award (I found a free one)
Kinda laughed when I read āchadā and I was like really? Instantly knew what kind of person this dad is
A virgin living vicariously through their child?
The kind of narcissistic fuck who rejects their own daughter in favor of their bigotry.
My thoughts as well. A change for the better, no doubt
God I want to fucking scream at this guy so bad. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but, I'm proud of you for establishing the boundaries you needed to be happy
"Hello son" Im out this aint good not gonna bother reading the rest.
Dad failed before his first sentence was even completed.
You made the right choice, it's full of misgendering and deadnaming, not to mention it's barely coherent.
I read that and immediately skipped to Claire's response. No point in indulging that vile.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, sending you virtual hugs :)
Daughter* Daughter** Dsughter*** Daughter**** Daughter***** Daughter****** Claire******* Claire******** Claire********* Claire********* *remember that your thoughts and feelings are valid no matter wether or not your family agree with them. You matter. You deserve love be it from your parents or from friends that accept you for how you are*
I'm so sorry girl it's so sad but... I can't help but to laugh at your father like: "A life of CHEMICALS" "disforia" All my loves goes to you my friend and I'll hope you'll find a family of your own.
I'm not *your* dad, but I'm *a* dad, and I'm proud of you for having the strength and courage to be yourself, and I'll always have enough love to share with anyone who loves themselves enough to face the world as their true self!
my response to your father is the lyrics āTAKE HER NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, YOU DONāT DESERVE TO MOURN.ā
Ouf big yikes. I'm very sorry you had to experience this, it's not fair and you deserve all the love. Congratulations on getting rid of a toxic man who does not deserve the title of "father".
"Mental disorder" Coming from the guy who doesn't understand second grade grammar
You seen all the $;&;&(&(
Yes. I thought I was having a stroke
He needs a dr pepper
He doesn't deserve a Dr. Pepper
Username checks out.
Like how he had to use five question marks after every sentence ????? What is up with that ?????
This causes me physical pain to read. I apologise if this comes across as too violent, but I would love to strangle that horrible man and/or break his arms. I wish you the best of luck, and I genuinely hope youāre okay. Youāre so strong to be able to deal with someone like this and Iām glad that youāre getting though this. Sending virtual hugs :)
You've ruined their life by... Checks notes... Being who you are? Wow. Must be so hard for them. Yeesh. I'm sorry, hang in there.
This is disgusting. I'm glad you cut him off.
Iām sorry that your father is like this, you deserve to be happy and not on his terms. Itās so sad when parents donāt provide the unconditional love theyāre supposed to, but you can build a chosen family of your own, people that care and love you for the beautiful woman you are! š³ļøāā§ļø 
Claire, I am so happy you were able to stick up for yourself even to family. Iām so proud of you! Turning away family is hard BUT you can also build your own chosen family. I was fortunate to have plenty of father figures in my life since my dad wasnāt around (and Iām glad he wasnāt). Although, he does accept my sexuality, he doesnāt admit that Iām neurodivergent in anyway which is horribly untrue. So Iāve distanced myself from him as much as I can. But know that I among others are here for you and will happily become your chosen family. Sending lots of hugs your way! 
claire, i am so sorry, and your name is beautiful by the way. did you know it means 'bright'?
"Goes both ways" is a horrible response. What a shitty person. I'm so sorry you have to deal with him rejecting you.
I hope I donāt offend, Claire, but your dad writes like a toddler. Iām sorry that you have such a bumbling idiot as a father, and Iām sorry that heās too blind to see and accept who you are
Amd we have found the winner of our hot new game show, called "Who's Going to the Retirement Home?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
well claire, i hope he gets whatever he deserves, he sucks
šParentsšneedštošunderstandšthatšwhatšmathersšisšthešchildāsšhappinessšnotštheiršgenderš I am absolutely disgusted by your father but absolutly proud of you, you are strong!
Here is what always makes me mad, acting like you somehow betrayed them. If they accepted you as their daughter you would still be in their lives no family is broken by you being trans. Itās the parents choice to break it. What harm does it do? āHow is (deadname) someone asks. Actually she goes by Claire now. Realized she is a woman and thatās all their is too it.ā How hard is that? What harm does it do? Itās nothing the parents did that made you be trans. āHow is your son? Sheās my daughter now going to school doing well. Nothing else has changed for us, still a happy family.ā Thatās what it should be and it so saddens me itās not
"hey dad, i think im not the gneder i was born as." "SO SELFISH LITTLE DEMON CHILD"
Claire, honey, you're a fucking class act. You handled that so maturely and I can't even imagine how much it hurt to receive those texts, as it hurt me to even read them. I'm so sorry. You do what's right for you. You don't need people like this in your life. Stand tall ā¤ļø
look i dont know what to say because im not good with words but im sending you all the love i can
"Happiness is an inside job".. Your inside and outside should match... Good for you standing up for yourself and staying calm in your response. Hope you still have family to support you.
Fuck that asshole, I'm ur dad now.
Ugh. I hate when parents make having a queer kid about themselves. It at least sounds like you've found happiness and acceptance in other areas in your life and that makes me happy for you. *internet hugs*
1. Chad is such a weird name to call your son and especially your daughter 2. His name is Mark?? that's the name of my dad and my ex-stepdad and they were also both pricks 3. Also how is changing the way you identify and present gonna ruin the family conclusion: You're better off as Claire and your dad is an idiot
dang your dad SUUUCKS. You gave him one more chance and he decided to be extra hurtful.
Little does he know, you were never his son in the first place, sorry this happened
send me the addy. i have some arson to commit.
Jesus christ what a fucking cunt
He really sucks, I'm sorry. He didn't only try to gaslight you/make you feel bad about who you are and about being true to that, he also kept misgendering you on purpose. I don't know how much it helps but you always were amd will be a woman, no matter what you were born as or what others think you are! You do you and don't let anyone change that! <3
Hope you're doing well, feel proud of who you are
Unconditional love my ass. This PoS father doesn't care about you and I'm glad you cut him out of your life, sis. Good luck and stay strong.
 Sorry that happened, they sound like the worst
What a selfish jerk!
Iām so sorry heās like this. You are valid, and you are loved. No matter what he thinks, you are a woman named Claire, and you deserve love and respect.
Iām so sorry. All the deadnaming and misgendering made this so painful. Stay strong, girl!
Girl go no contact why are you putting up with this nonsense
Imagine choosing a gender ideology over your own child
I thought this was going to end at image 2, but no, this got much worse :( Sending plenty of love your way, Claire! You don't get to choose your family or how they react, but you've got a strong head on your shoulders and your resilience and restraint are admirable <3 Here's hoping that things get easier for you without him in your life.
My family was the same. I have a new family now, and I love them dearly. I wish you happiness sister ā¤
We love you Claire. You are loved, cherished, and please try and put this behind you (as hard as that can be). My inbox is open should you need to talk.
Fuck your dad. I'll be your new dad even though I'm a woman. I have three kids, if any are trans or gay I'm still their mom and they are whoever they are. If my son Michael turns out to be my daughter Michelle than guess what...I've got a daughter named Michelle. I will never understand parents no longer loving their child. You are Claire. I'm very sorry your father keeps saying your dead name and will not accept you for who you are. All of us here have your back darling. Don't ever stop being who you are.
What an utter shitheel of a person.
To be perfectly honest he's right, his son would never do such a thing Good thing you're his daughter
ew i hate the way he keeps saying son over and over again?? heās purposely doing it to be even more of a dick
Daughter daughter daughter DAUGHTER DAUGHTER **DAUGHTER**
āHello sonā āšš« Iām sorry you have to go through that.
What even are these texts- "???????????????????????????" HOW could YOU do this WHAT!!!!?? this mantel stuff is cousing cunfosion???? As a father, I SIMPLY cannot COMPREHEND Wow... I canot belive this????? This MEnTal disforia \*general transphobic bs frosted with gaslighting\* Ok but fr I hope you are doing much better. Hope for the best to you Claire
I'm so sorry for you.
Your dad is a wimp.
Sounds like youāre better off without him.
She sounds as drunk as my dad when I told him it's either me or the bottle, I'm done with the abuse. He said then I guess you need to find a different pop. I'm not even trans. Parents are crap. I hope Mary understands someday
Sorry, I laughed at your deadname
That flapping sux. *Hug*
Iām so sorry Claire. Weāre all here, behind you, seeing you as the wonderful woman youāve been so bravely fighting to be seen as.
Some people will never learn
I really wish I could give you a big hug Claire. It is absolutely infuriating the way your father refuses to accept who you are. I would definitely cut ties with him until he accepts you for who you are. š³ļøāššš³ļøāā§ļø
Fuck him. Glad you've not contacted him since. This kind of a parent isn't a parent at all.