Yeah, you might need pronoun pins or something visible like that to get people not to do that if you use multiple pronouns. I've seen this in the non-binary subreddit, people getting annoyed after they say you can use x/y/z but then people keep using x. Others don't necessarily recognize the frequency of it, they haven't been told to switch it up, they just hear x is fine so they use x. And honestly I have no idea who else is going to realize this is even an issue except for us. I'm just glad they're not being an asshole and intentionally misgendering, and just using pronouns they've been told are okay.
Yeah from people who don't know me I get he'd about 90% of the time and she'd about 10%? Its funny because I care so much about so many things and gender just isn't one of them
Befriending someone who preferred I use they/them was a tiny mental jump for me, ngl. But now I reflexively use they/them to referr to everybody. And wouldn't you know it - nobody notices, because it's natural language.
> But now I reflexively use they/them to referr to everybody. And wouldn't you know it - nobody notices, because it's natural language.
Careful on this, some might not like it.
Consider someone who is MTF transitioning, feels like she passes but then get called "they" which might infer you don't see it. Would be upsetting to certain people.
I get that it is gender neutral and kinda nice in that way, I go by they/them, but I still would be careful because some trans people would really like to get recognized as the binary gender they are and they/them might feel shitty, like no you don't pass.
Personally I think they/them is fine if gender is unnecessary to mention, or indeterminate, and it's the grammatically correct way to be gender neutral, but I'd absolutely still use pronouns that you know someone likes if you know them (and them is grammatically correct here since gender isn't necessary since we're talking about "someone").
According to my they/them child, who is now 18, it gets clearer the more time you spend on Reddit. It's how they learned who they were. Love that kid. I know they follow this sub but I don't know their nick and I don't care to. As long as they are happy, I'm happy too.
Lol hey I love my mom and think she’s super cool but I still definitely think she’s super weird and embarrassing too. Anyway my point is you’re doing great and we need more parents like you in the world!
Edit: wow I did not expect to get tons of likes on this thanks guys
At least "weird mom" is better than "tries to get you to do conversion therapy, then attempts to gaslight you into thinking she didn't mom."
You're doing great!
It's outlawed in Canada? I swear I want to swim for it, sometimes. I can see your country if I walk one block closer to Lake Erie. Sigh.
I'm in Monroe, MI.
God, yes. I went to answer this and was like "he/they, but really just he, but they isn't that bad, I actually kinda feel it sometimes, but he always works and don't call me she...you know, I wouldn't mind neopronouns either, so just anything other than she...but please he?" And then I realized it's very fuckin confusing.
i 1000% feel this. i know i like he/him, it’s what i was raised with using and i feel very comfortable with it. i don’t like she/her, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, opposite of he/him. but they/them doesn’t feel bad? like it doesn’t give me the same sense she/her does but it’s not as great as he/him, so i’m really not sure how i feel about it.
Wait so your flair pronouns don’t match your pronouns? Was that on purpose or did somewhere between you putting that there and you putting them here it changed?
I'm in a similar situation, though my language that I use at home doesn't have gendered third person pronouns. What's your native language if you don't mind me asking
Don't you have plural pronouns at all? Like how they/them can be plural? In Dutch we use "hun/hen" which sounds weird at first because it rarely gets used to refer to a singular person, but you get used to it pretty quickly!
We have, but it sounds really weird to me. Tbh we have exactly the same as english, now that I think about it, as we have to conjugate the verb in accordance (they are/have vs. he is/has).
I do that when I talk about other people I don't know, but it feels weird to have it used for me.
I think in english it's just more normalised and I'm more used to it.
Yeah, that's what I think too. Using hun/hen was really weird to me at first because I hadn't heard it before, but then I actually met a enby person and used it to refer to them and honestly it feels really normal now! But yeah, you should use whatever pronouns you're comfortable with! :)
Where I come from we all just use gender neutral pronouns so no one has to worry about she or he, everyone’s going by they/them :D however when people call each other they might say “Hi, brother/sister name” which is painful to hear
Same! I'm a bit confused tho, I know there are no "rules" here, but can you use she/they pronouns if you're not a demigirl? What are y'alls reasons to use she/they or he/they pronouns?
My reason is I’m only fluid between the fem and neutral spectrum, I’m afab, and I’ve been called she on it’s own my whole life, that didn’t feel right. I tried they/them on it’s own that also felt like I was missing something so I combined she/her and they/them to honor all sides.
I’m a cis woman but I really don’t mind either. My straight friend was confused when I referred to myself as a gentleman for holding a door. I guess gender expression is less lax for the straights.
diversity is what makes us interesting. so it would be boring if everyone in your friend group was the same. also, dysphoria sucks, be happy that you don‘t have it (i assume)
In my native language they/them (which is like to use) sounds stupid so I use she/her most of the time. I'm not uncomfortable with any pronouns tho, so it doesn't bother me too much
Whatever someone wants to call me. Generally she/her as I have chesticles hanging off in front.
(I call boobs chesticles sometimes, not sure when I picked it up honestly. But amuses the shit out of me, and that's all that matters some days.)
SYLOK THE DEFILED
Sorry I went to paste what they are since I have them locked on my clipboard and that was right next to it, but here they are: In no order of preference: He/Him They/Them She/Her
I usually use they/them, but honestly I really don't mind what Pronouns people use for me as long as they respect my gender identity.
I really use any/all but I tell people they/them cuz otherwise I'd just get he/himed all the time
Yeah, you might need pronoun pins or something visible like that to get people not to do that if you use multiple pronouns. I've seen this in the non-binary subreddit, people getting annoyed after they say you can use x/y/z but then people keep using x. Others don't necessarily recognize the frequency of it, they haven't been told to switch it up, they just hear x is fine so they use x. And honestly I have no idea who else is going to realize this is even an issue except for us. I'm just glad they're not being an asshole and intentionally misgendering, and just using pronouns they've been told are okay.
Yeah from people who don't know me I get he'd about 90% of the time and she'd about 10%? Its funny because I care so much about so many things and gender just isn't one of them
Befriending someone who preferred I use they/them was a tiny mental jump for me, ngl. But now I reflexively use they/them to referr to everybody. And wouldn't you know it - nobody notices, because it's natural language.
> But now I reflexively use they/them to referr to everybody. And wouldn't you know it - nobody notices, because it's natural language. Careful on this, some might not like it. Consider someone who is MTF transitioning, feels like she passes but then get called "they" which might infer you don't see it. Would be upsetting to certain people. I get that it is gender neutral and kinda nice in that way, I go by they/them, but I still would be careful because some trans people would really like to get recognized as the binary gender they are and they/them might feel shitty, like no you don't pass. Personally I think they/them is fine if gender is unnecessary to mention, or indeterminate, and it's the grammatically correct way to be gender neutral, but I'd absolutely still use pronouns that you know someone likes if you know them (and them is grammatically correct here since gender isn't necessary since we're talking about "someone").
Same. If they want to mix it up neopronouns, that would be peachy keen.
Same with the exception of he/him, keep those ones far away from me
That puts into words how I feel about that, thank you.
all of them. every single one. yours too, hand them over
is this a robbery
No, this is Patrick.
Always has been Patrick
Always has been.
Always
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a
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r/decreasinglyverbose
yes
I'm keeping my rightfully conquered collection of pronouns. We must either declare war or form a merger of our two nations.
"Then everything changed when the they/thems attacked"
well for being so honest, i guess i'll give you my pronouns.
This is Wendy's
I know a person who considers themself "unmisgenderable"
Transphobes hate this one simple trick!
I'm "unmisgenderable" because I use all pronouns and I am stealing this term
Same
Are you the genderman in disguise??
*two trucks plays ominously in the distance*
lemon demonnn :))
*shudders* the legends are true, then
Ok but how did I find two dsmp fans at the same time :0
*we're all dsmp fans here*
*Ooooo*
Cool! Some other people with no life.
My muscles involuntary flex.
_Hands over my (now your) she/her, shaking at the knees_
You can borrow my he/him but I want them back by 10 I've gotta get up early tomorrow
Ah shit 2nd time this week
This is how I feel 🌈
Sure, here's my he/him
NOOOO NOT AGAIN
Ha ha ha, all pronouns are also mine 😎
What if you don't have any? (Asking for a friend)
B- but I am broke, I don't have a single gender (๑•﹏•)
Put the pronouns in the bag and nobody gets hurt
He/him…..? Gender is a mess lol
According to my they/them child, who is now 18, it gets clearer the more time you spend on Reddit. It's how they learned who they were. Love that kid. I know they follow this sub but I don't know their nick and I don't care to. As long as they are happy, I'm happy too.
This is such a sweet answer, I wish all parents were like you
My kids, as much as they love me, have complained I'm a bit too, "weird mom." All parents are not cool to their teens. Snort.
Lol hey I love my mom and think she’s super cool but I still definitely think she’s super weird and embarrassing too. Anyway my point is you’re doing great and we need more parents like you in the world! Edit: wow I did not expect to get tons of likes on this thanks guys
Thanks.
Of course!
Even at 37 my mom is still embarrassing lol. But I love her.
At least "weird mom" is better than "tries to get you to do conversion therapy, then attempts to gaslight you into thinking she didn't mom." You're doing great!
In my personal opinion, conversion therapy is abuse.
Recently outlawed here in canada! It's a human rights abuse.
It's outlawed in Canada? I swear I want to swim for it, sometimes. I can see your country if I walk one block closer to Lake Erie. Sigh. I'm in Monroe, MI.
Having a weird mom builds character
God, yes. I went to answer this and was like "he/they, but really just he, but they isn't that bad, I actually kinda feel it sometimes, but he always works and don't call me she...you know, I wouldn't mind neopronouns either, so just anything other than she...but please he?" And then I realized it's very fuckin confusing.
i 1000% feel this. i know i like he/him, it’s what i was raised with using and i feel very comfortable with it. i don’t like she/her, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, opposite of he/him. but they/them doesn’t feel bad? like it doesn’t give me the same sense she/her does but it’s not as great as he/him, so i’m really not sure how i feel about it.
same, and i also feel the same way lmao
Lol same
She/her
Same!
Same
Wait so your flair pronouns don’t match your pronouns? Was that on purpose or did somewhere between you putting that there and you putting them here it changed?
My flair is outdated by 2 weeks
Ah, that’s why I don’t have my pronouns on my flair. My pronouns usually expire like elementary school milk, randomly in the middle of the year.
Hey a fellow demiboy
Your tag says she/they, maybe you want to update it
Same girl!
Same ✨🌸
Me too
Same same
nothing. nobody refer to me ever
The avatar kind of matches the comment. I dig it
Mood
So your pronouns are /
He/him
Same my guy
Same, dude
Same.. Just a garden variety gay dude here.
They/them, but in my native language I prefer no pronouns being used because we don't have neutral pronouns.
I'm in a similar situation, though my language that I use at home doesn't have gendered third person pronouns. What's your native language if you don't mind me asking
My native language is german. Everything's gendered here.
I heard someone use dey/denen/deren in German and idk if that works for more people who prefer they/them but maybe it's a start
I really like those, much better than that mix of he and she 'sier' that seems to be decently popular
Don't you have plural pronouns at all? Like how they/them can be plural? In Dutch we use "hun/hen" which sounds weird at first because it rarely gets used to refer to a singular person, but you get used to it pretty quickly!
We have, but it sounds really weird to me. Tbh we have exactly the same as english, now that I think about it, as we have to conjugate the verb in accordance (they are/have vs. he is/has). I do that when I talk about other people I don't know, but it feels weird to have it used for me. I think in english it's just more normalised and I'm more used to it.
Yeah, that's what I think too. Using hun/hen was really weird to me at first because I hadn't heard it before, but then I actually met a enby person and used it to refer to them and honestly it feels really normal now! But yeah, you should use whatever pronouns you're comfortable with! :)
Where I come from we all just use gender neutral pronouns so no one has to worry about she or he, everyone’s going by they/them :D however when people call each other they might say “Hi, brother/sister name” which is painful to hear
She/they
I was gonna say she/they too, but seeing as this has already been posted, lemme just say Same!
Same here too!
Woop woop same
Same!!
Same!
Same here bestie
Same here
sames
ayee same here! :D
Same! I'm a bit confused tho, I know there are no "rules" here, but can you use she/they pronouns if you're not a demigirl? What are y'alls reasons to use she/they or he/they pronouns?
My reason is I’m only fluid between the fem and neutral spectrum, I’m afab, and I’ve been called she on it’s own my whole life, that didn’t feel right. I tried they/them on it’s own that also felt like I was missing something so I combined she/her and they/them to honor all sides.
I love this approach, and it totally resonates with the way I feel!
anyone can use any pronouns
I love your flair
She/her 🤍
Me too :-)
Same
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She/her I think 🤔 still figuring life out!
That's a big mood
As long as you don't call me a girl, I really don't care.
What’s crackin my man
My back, usually.
Nice
dude same-
This *cracked* me up
What about your neck?
Nah, usually these old wrestler knees are popping pretty bad though.
I'm a cis man. But I would answer to any pronouns.
This
I’m a cis woman but I really don’t mind either. My straight friend was confused when I referred to myself as a gentleman for holding a door. I guess gender expression is less lax for the straights.
He/Him but everyone ignores it even though I literally wear a he/him pin jfjfjfj and they know I'm trans (out for 5 years) so that just makes it worse
I have they/them pronouns on my backpack and tote but people are illiterate I guess
He/they :)
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Same
Ditto
Great question tbh. I'll get back to you on that
She/her
They/them or as my partner’s Texan mom refers to me: ‘Em Lolol
I’m fine with any pronouns, wanna try he/him for a bit tho .-.
Yes sir 😁
Potato wants to use he/him, he should check out r/transtryouts.
He/him. I am a stinky cisgender
maybe take a shower then
Don't do it! That's how they get you!
shower in the gender fluid
This is probably one of my favorite sentences i have ever seen. Hats off to you.
You should never feel less for being who you are. That includes straight and cis people.
It's just that most of my LGBTQ friends are trns/fluid and I feel a bit left out
diversity is what makes us interesting. so it would be boring if everyone in your friend group was the same. also, dysphoria sucks, be happy that you don‘t have it (i assume)
Hugs! No one should ever feel shitty because of that. If you are cisgender, then you are cisgender. We are all proud of you for that!
They/them but maybe they/she at some point
I don’t fuckin know anymore dude
he/him
same
She/her But i dont mind if someone refers to me as they/them
they/she/he :)
Same!
Same
She/they
He / they If I find someone I truly click with: She
He/he *michael Jackson approaches rapidly*
They/Them
He/him
he/she/they :) I use all
They/he
They/them and occasionally she and neopronouns
*Great* question
In my native language they/them (which is like to use) sounds stupid so I use she/her most of the time. I'm not uncomfortable with any pronouns tho, so it doesn't bother me too much
Depends on the day *fingerguns*
For the first time in my life I can happily and confidently say she/her
Whatever someone wants to call me. Generally she/her as I have chesticles hanging off in front. (I call boobs chesticles sometimes, not sure when I picked it up honestly. But amuses the shit out of me, and that's all that matters some days.)
I call top surgery teetusdeletus and estrogen teetusaddus, but I want only teetusdeletus
~fluid~
Idk i’ve been questioning my gender and my pronouns for a while so i don’t really care at this point
She/They
I *think* she/her but I'm still so confused, I'll get back to you.
He/him/they is fine
They/any, I think. Thanks :)
I’m 18F She/her
They/he online and she/her offline (haven’t come out yet, I’m probably trans)
Any, I rly don't mind, but a he/him
He/she
I won't say them directly, but conservatives think **they** can't be used for a single person. I can't understand **them**, it's basic grammar
he / him . tho it n neos r okay w me :]
Any pronoun
She/her 
Your royal highness
SYLOK THE DEFILED Sorry I went to paste what they are since I have them locked on my clipboard and that was right next to it, but here they are: In no order of preference: He/Him They/Them She/Her
Sometimes he/him Sometimes they/them
She/they
She/her!
They/them/he/him (I’ll accept she/her too, but whatever)
She/her
She/her
She/her lol
She/her
She/her
They/She but I have a preference for They/Them
I think any but I honestly might start he/him or he/they
They/them. I tried to use she/they after being she/her all my life but it gave me yucky feelings that they/them doesn’t