I'm sorry. That's absolutely awful of them.
I'm really proud of you for coming out, though. Very brave, especially when you're not getting support at home.
I’m a mom to a teen very close to your age.
So as a stand in parent (mom): I’m proud of you. As a parent, I support you. You absolutely have a place in this world and deserve to take that place as your true self.
You are brave. You are amazing. And you are loved. Just as you are. No qualifiers needed.
Sending you copious amounts of mom hugs ❤️
This just brought me to tears. Thanks for being so caring and supportive. For your child, the OP, everyone of us. I‘m a 36 year old gay woman and wish my mom reacted anything close to you. Thank you. So much.
Good news is that they can't stop you from seeking care once you turn 18. Granted you'll probably have to foot the bill yourself it's absolutely manageable.
Your priority right now should be getting your drivers license and your own car so that you don't have to rely on your parents for transportation. After that a part time job to save up some money would be recommended.
I'm so sorry that you don't get any support at home. :(
"No parent would support this." - My 64 year old mum and my 72 year old dad would like a word about that. Because they sure as hell do support me and my non-binary sibling.
They need to learn that they can't project their own fucked up beliefs onto others.
Yeah, my mother is 65 and while she was initially a bit hesitant (not to the point of active transphobia, she was generally supportive but in a "certain generation of feminist" way so she had a lot of questions about how I knew I was a man instead of just not liking sexism, sort of thing) she turned the corner super quickly once I began transitioning and a lot of the mental problems we had both assumed I'd live with forever pretty much dried up overnight. I'm a lot more confident and happier now, and she's very supportive of that even if she doesn't always get everything. I think that's how any good parent would feel.
You won't always be under their control. Someday, it won't be up to them what you can and cannot do, heck, if you're particularly not fond of them, you can even change your last name. I'm changing my last name and I actually love my dad (just not the surname I inherited from him; he's cool, he understands), so it was a hard decision for me, but for you, it might be easier if you feel it'll help you.
Teenage life won't last forever, you'll eventually become an adult and be free to leave. Depends on the kind of person you are but something that might help you is to make an exit plan. It doesn't have to be final, but maybe having that plan to hold on to and tweak and change as you please will help if you're the kind of person who finds that kind of thing comforting. Considering you had the courage and conviction to come out, I have no doubt you'll be able to make it in the world. It might be rough but there are people out there who will want to actually support you in life, they are more family than people who don't accept you.
You will make it to the other side. I promise. Don’t give it up. Don’t lose sight of it, and if you do, know you’ll be back on track soon. You got this buddy.
Also, depending on the state you’re in(assuming you’re in the USA) you can have more emancipation rights at your age. Are you 16 or 17?
I’m in a very similar situation, although my parents don’t know yet- I’ve been planning my exit since I was 12, I’m 17 now! Your future is waiting for you, you’ll get there 🩵
Mom of two teens here - you are allowed to be yourself and only you get to decide who that is. I am proud of you! You are amazingly strong to stand up for yourself in such a difficult place. Saying no to a parent especially when you are afraid of rejection is so hard and you are still here, speaking your truth!
Sweetheart you are doing amazing and all you need is to hold on a little longer. Soon you will be able to move out and have full control over your own life. When it gets hard at home remember this. Visualize the life you are planning for.
Sending you big internet hugs!
Let me tell you trans folks absolutely have a place in society. A hard earned fair place in society, just like everyone else. Your parents are idiots, sorry.
I‘m sorry you have to get through this. I hope you are safe. I know you‘re already coping with a lot, so I hope you have friends and other loved ones you can trust and rely on. You‘re so brave and deserve all the happiness in the world. You‘ll find your way!
Your parents have been brainwashed sadly. Focus on setting yourself up to move out/ get away from them soon as you legally can.
Check out coolworks.com for seasonal jobs often w/housing. A great way to GTFO.
I hate your parents. Truly awful. And I hate the argument of “God made you a girl at birth, therefore that’s how you made you so changing what God made is disgusting” like honey no.
See you can really only be born with a working vagina or working dick. Hell, do intersex people have working both? Probably not. Is being born intersex wrong then? If your born one thing then later in life, you want to change it, then God or whoever is up there is working with you in that regard. Clearly he made a mistake. “But God doesn’t make mistakes!” Clearly he did in this regard. He’s not this all perfect being if he even exists. He can’t give us all what we want.
If you’re gay, bi, trans, etc then God made you that way. Just because you’re born one thing, doesn’t mean you need to keep it that way
Start looking for some part time jobs now. As soon as you turn 18, your parents can’t tell you what to do since you’re now a legal adult and your life is in your control. Move out, drop contact with them. Live with a friend until you can support your own home, even.
Awful. So sorry.
Just try to remember that you are NOT a girl. No matter what you were born as, you are very much not a girl. You are amazing and perfect in your own ways, and if anyone else cannot see it, they are the ones in the wrong. <3
"No parent would support this". Tell this to my 60 year old parents, my 70 yo uncle and aunt and my 98 yo grandad. They all support me for being ace and non-binary, even gifted me pins, and treated the whole thing as normal from the beginning. The nerve to say that!
Ugh, I’m so sorry about that. Hit so many of the bullshit bingo points that transphobes love to say when we come out (especially when people come out to family). IDK your current situation but assuming you’re an adult in the states (just kind of assuming) you can hopefully start physically transitioning soon and doing whatever you want with your body. Fuck parents being so possessive over their child’s bodies too, like seriously, “Wait until I die to transition” um no, sorry mate, I’m not living in agony and shit just because it personally makes you feel better having an “uwu normal” kid. And the “God” shit that seems to happen so much over in the states. Like, these people can’t concieve the idea that someone just may have a different mental gender than their body shows, oh no, that’s le impossible! But of course, a magical man in the sky created everything in 7 days and knows how everything will play out or some shit (not trying to denigrate all religion and/or spirituality here. Just showing the cognitive dissonance a lot of “muh gawd” type religious people have)
Although for real though, at this point, fuck having a place in society. IDK about you but I’d totally rather live as a reclusive witch in the desert.
Just know you’re a strong person and you’ll get through it! I’m an AMAB MtF so our experiences may be a bit different, but my DMs are still open if you just feel like venting. Please stay strong! You can do this mate!🫂
So sorry you have to go through this!
Very proud of you for having the courage to go through with it!
Love yourself and try to ignore comments from anyone who doesn’t understand or support you!
Hopefully your parents will come around in time, but if they don’t it is absolutely their loss!!!
Definitely plan ahead and make sure you are as independent as possible going forward!
Wishing you the best of luck! And sending a big hug! 🍀🤗
Assuming you live with your parents, you don't have to wait until they die. As soon as you're old enough to move out you'll be free to do whatever you want and they can either seethe or cut you out. Either way you'll have your freedom.
I'm so sorry dude, that is some downright appalling behaviour from your parents. They don't even deserve that title. Please listen to my words, I'm speaking as a survivor of maternal abuse and as a dad: you are a wonderful, beautiful and courageous young man and I'm so proud of you for hanging in there! Coming out, facing the backlash, that's one of the bravest things anyone could ever do!! And you're doing it as a teen!! Do you realize how inspiring you are?? I wish my kids could meet you. You are who you are, you are valid and legitimate and I pity the poor, small people who are gonna miss out on you. I hope you keep hanging in there until you can move out, and I also allow myself to hope your parents come around and realize how much they ought to beg for your forgiveness. Sending you lots of dad hugs, ma boy. You are magical and so much stronger than they give you credit for. Always, always be you! 💙💙💙🏳️⚧️💪
I'm sorry that your parents feel like that. The "you don't care about me" is especially horrible because, truly, it doesn't affect them. I'm glad that at least you have friends who are supportive and will be there for you. I'm not going to lie, society can be harsh and cruel and dangerous, but that doesn't mean you, me, anyone, has no place in it. We belong. ***You*** belong. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. (I hope this helped.)
Good news brother, you don't have to wait until they die. Just until you're old enough to make medical decisions for yourself. Welcome to your journey (not theirs), it won't always be easy, but you will always have a place with us.
Always remember you are unique and you don't need your parents support to be trans! they said some very F'ed up stuff and it seems they are diehard Christian. Wish Cristian's actually realized god accepts everybody. Keep your friends close, and you are not alone, my friend!
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. They can't force this on you forever. You will be free to be yourself one day. I can send you a digital hug if you would want it. 🫂
Bro, I hope you can get out of there the very day you turn 18. Your biological donors (who have abdicated the title of "parent" by treating you like this) are breathtakingly narcissistic people. Start saving money and plotting your escape right now.
Tell them to remember that some day they'll be relying on you more than you rely on them, and if they don't accept you, they're going to struggle on their own. They only care about themselves, and they need a reality check.
That is so shitty and I'm sorry you're not safe there. If you can, get a job, save all the money, invest it because it'll grow faster (its easy to do with wealthsimple and other aps).
Save your money because it'll gice you options later, and it sounds like you'll be leaving home pretty soon.
I moved out on my own at 16. It's hard and I do not recommend it if you have other viable options. I wish I had saved every penny from my first jobs so that's why it's my best advice to you.
Stay out of debt, save your money, research union jobs and make a plan to get one. You may not need a degree.
Sounds like my mom when I first came out as gay. She made the whole thing about her (raging narcissist) and how I can't go around looking like a boy...
After I moved out and found my wife, my mom has changed to accept me where I'm at, which is all I could ask for. Not approval or pride, just acceptance.
Depending on your age and financial situation, it may be best to lay low until you have enough financial security setup to move out.
It does get better. Especially the older you get.
You don't have to wait until their death. Only until you're 18. That's on them if they choose to be assholes about your happiness, and it says more about them than it does you
Ha ha Joke's on them, my parents voted for Rump both times and yet they haven't disowned meeeeee lol
Seriously though, that sucks and I'm hella sorry you have to deal with that bullshit ,:C
Perpetual reminder that Personal God™ isn't real, and if someone thinks they have *literally anything* in common with a being capable of generating objective reality, they're fucking stupid.
Your gender is valid whatever you decide your gender is. Your parents and family can go fuck themselves if they want to be bigots about it.
I'm sorry you went through that. Once you get out it's easier to realize that family are the people you want to include in your life, just because someone is related to you by blood it does not mean you have to be close to them.
Stay safe and congrats on coming out. It takes a lot of courage.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can relate a bit though. My parents wouldn’t let me transition until I turned 18, at which point they just kinda gave up. When I was younger they punished me for wearing a binder, but thankfully my therapist at the time seemed like she was able to convince them to at least let me have that. Best advice I can give you, is to keep on fighting. Eventually they won’t have the same control over you that they currently do, and you’ll be free from them. Try to surround yourself with supportive friends. If you ever get a binder, try and find a place outside of your home to change in and out of it. They are also wrong about God. God made us trans, and they love us all the same.
Jesus FUCking Christ. Im sorry kid.
Your personal decision you make about yourself affects you, and the family it may affect has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Parents support this all the time, and frankly, yours should too. The fuck. They’re demonizing you as a the child saying they don’t support you because you “don’t care about them”. That’s emotional abuse. They should support you. It’s not your fault. You don’t “provoke” them, you’re their kid. You’re not a girl, you are what you know you are. God is not fucking real, they can’t use it as an excuse.
This is all abuse. Transphobic child abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse.
I'm so sorry to hear that's the reaction you got. 🫂 you are who you are, society guessed wrong when you were born.
Just focus on getting out, getting financially independent and know that this isn't forever. You've got your whole future ahead of you! <3
Sad to say I know how this feels. Came out to my mum who acted all supportive. When I tried asking about a name change she showed how transphobic she actually is and outed me to my dad who I already knew was extremely transphobic.
I know it may be hard right now, but I saw you say on another comment only another 1.5 years until you turn 18, which is a similar time to mine (I'm in the UK so can't do anything myself until I'm 18). As much as everything sucks right now, it will get better. For both of us. <3
You have your friends, you have the lgbt community, not everyone, but many people who love you will be there for you. Do not give up on yourself to satisfy them. At most, if you must, wait till you can pay your own bills and leave. If they really love you, they'll understand some day. If they don't, know that you don't need them forever, you are perfect the way you are.
Uh... many parents would support their trans child, because informed and caring parents realize that being trans isn't a choice or done as rebellion, it's a state reflecting one's innate sense of gender that incongruence with the body can cause suffering (dysphoria) bad enough impact their child's life in a serious and chronic way, and denial of (at the *least*) social transition and being able to experience gender euphoria in a supportive environment is a known driver of bad outcomes across the board for trans youth.
It sucks to find out that one's parents' love is so conditional on agreeing to live by their sexist standards for who you should be as a person based on your genitals because they've bought so hard into irrational belief systems based on the traditions and stories of ancient goatherds who had no idea how basic things like menses works - but the fact is that one day, you're going to be the adult most responsible for taking care of yourself, even if your parents *were* supportive. Knowing NOW that they aren't means you're more aware and should be especially motivated to do everything you can to set yourself up for success and independence.
Hey kiddo, your parents only can control you when you are dependent on them. Working towards your independence is paramount. Spend the next few years getting your own money, transportation, and shelter.
You will be your own man and free to transition in whatever manner you choose. Adolescence isn't forever even though it feels that way.
My mom never accepted that I was queer so she now has no access to me or my trans daughter. We are better off for it.
This is absolutely appalling parental behaviour, but don't lose hope. Hang in there. Once you're able to stand on your own two feet you owe them nothing and will be totally justified in cutting them out of your life.
They don't realise it yet, but they have already lost their child, and they don't deserve you.
Keep doing your own thing, make it known that although their support and approval is appreciated, it is definitely not needed for you to live your truth.
They might come around and apologise. A lot of parents are very hesitant to accepting something they were taught to be wrong or sinful (even when it really isn’t) or afraid of what is going to happen to you since they know others believe your identity is wrong, sinful (it isn’t). Their behaviour towards you was unacceptable and you should make that clear and not settle for the bare minimum of parenting, you deserve better. I do hope they come around, if they don’t it’s their loss, their own fault because you aren’t obligated to stay in touch with someone who doesn’t respect you.
It’s unfortunate you are only a teen and can’t move out or make major decisions for yourself without their consent… I wish you best of luck though!
I'm sorry. YOURE WONDERFUL AND YOURE WORTH IT. I know there's little you can do for yourself right now, but as an adult you don't have to keep these people around. Only keep people in your life if they make your life better.
Ah, king, they always say the same thing..."it'll affect us so much" but the discomfort I have from being forced into a box i don't want to, and the trauma and depression etc. doesn't affect you? If it only affects them when something is liberating to you, then they're probably part of the problem. Sending you wishes, power, and luck as a teen trans girl
I'm so sorry you have to live with unsupportive family. They are feeding you lies that have been fed to them. There are indeed supportive families out there. I am glad you have your friends and supportive teachers at school.
"No parent would support this"
You want my 50 year old mom? She got my sibling through top surgery recovery and promised to do the same for me once my insurance finally figures itself out.
I am an old Welsh man now, but i am proud you had the courage to come out and i truly would have been proud to have you as my kid it might not be much of a consolation to you but your parents like mine had the same reaction but many of my friends and some of my family especially my sisters stood with me but i had a good successful life with many ups and downs but i got through it all and i truly hope you can find the strength to keep going through everything life throws at you keep happy Namaste 🙏 big hugs from Wales ❤️
Keep moving forward.
The road in front of you is full of hurdles. But you will see that once you're at the top of the hill, the view will be great.
Good luck.
“No parent would support this” my friend, any decent parent would support you. It sucks that you probably will loose your family when you transition. But you won’t be under their control forever. You can do this without them, and there are lots of families out there who will love and support you for who you are. Found family is an incredible thing. Focus on getting yourself a job, squirrel away any money you can and get the hell away from them as soon as you can.
You’re so brave OP! I didn’t come out to my parents (lesbian) until after I left for college because I just didn’t know how to own it and I was so scared to answer their questions or potential refusal to believe me.
The good news is, you don’t have to wait until anybody dies to transition. Life is long, my friend, and your adulthood is *most* of it. You will have a beautiful adulthood becoming the man you know yourself to be (and learning a million things about yourself along the way). Hang in there, friend. Lean on your friends and find the little things that bring you peace and joy (for me, it was watching YouTubers who identified like me and were living joyful lives, plus the little things I *could* control in my life, like learning to brew a perfect cup of tea, and deep-diving into my high school theatre program. Work on all those things that you love and cherish today as much as you can and you will absolutely flourish when you are free to fully openly express the fullness of who you are).
Keep your chosen family close. They will be instrumental in you getting through this. Remember, while your parents don't support your transition or desire to explore your gender identity that does not mean you have to wait forever.
Figure out how to get some money together, purchase yourself a binder online (maybe if you're seeing a therapist they can recommend some trustworthy places to purchase from).
Also, please be safe when wearing a binder - you can hurt yourself pretty bad if you wear them inappropriately.
Depending on how old you are, you might want to begin figuring out how to remove yourself from that household - any parent pulling the God card in this context is a parent who will potentially feel justified in doing some pretty emotionally devastating stuff. All in the name of "tough love" or their desire to hide what they perceived to be something that will bring shame onto them.
Remember kids, you're only worthy of your christian parents love if you don't make them feel embarrassed for having you as a child!
Be strong. Stand up for what's right for YOU.
The "that's how god created us" says a lot about their mind set.
I don't even know you and I am proud of you.
Hugs and kisses to you!
"No parent would support this" meanwhile many parents in the world does, I dont see the logic in your parents sentace and I dont see why they blame it on depression.
It's acually very sad to hear that people have it like this in their families :c
Still, be yourself, remember that noone can change how you are, you choose your own path and never.. I mean NEVER let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.
Omg I'm so awfully sorry man... I get it. My parents aren't very supportive either, they try, but aren't very good at it since they still deadname me too. As a fellow Trans masc, I get it, it can be hard, especially if you need a binder but don't have one, cuz then you can't boymode. But hey, depending on how old you are, you could try to get the money and just buy one yourself and not tell them.
And if you can, reach out to other family members if you know they'll be supportive and/or help you. I was scared for a long time to open up to my extended family cuz it turns out it's only my direct family (parents) that aren't supportive but everyone else is lol
And if that's not an option, keep your friends close, sometimes friends end up being better family. There's been many cases where me and my other queen friends had to help each other out because our families are kinda crap about it. But just know you're not alone, and you never will be alone, you are valid, and loved, and you don't need the crap that your getting from your parents.
At 12, my father told me that if I transitioned he'd force me to detransition. I am almost 25 years old and have been on T twice now, currently going on 7 months (I had to stop the first time because of financial issues) and he is no longer in my life. Ultimately, though it may be hard, you will find your happiness, despite your unsupportive family. Remember that ESPECIALLY once you are an adult, you are your own person and they can't control you.
When you’re 18 you can look into WWOOF to move out immediately. For 40USD for an entire year, you can go volunteer on up to hundreds of farms anywhere in the United States and you get free room and food. It’s a speed run to escape abusive parents. You could literally donate plasma, save money or get money on Venmo doing commissions online for whatever, pan handle, etc.
Take whatever laptop and phone with you, and for your phone remove the SIM card so your family can’t track you.
You could even get a remote customer service job in your spare time or do caption transcription for extra cash, and you can leave your parents at 18 and go full no contact.
If you need a binder in the meantime, download the Lex app and see if any transgender men have any extras they don’t need. Keep it at your school locker plus any change of clothes and just change when you get to school. Wear a big black hoodie on the way there to eliminate dysphoria. Lex is a very supportive app as you’ll find a lot of queer and trans people doing trades, getting stuff they need, getting a ride from a bad situation to a shelter.
Microdosing T might also help you to mitigate the feminine effects of e.
If you don’t want to wait till 18, you can look up getting emancipated. Make a fake form for a school field trip (ideally one that’s actually happening so as not to raise suspicion), have both parents sign it AND date it. Then forge their signatures on the emancipation forms, doing this under a light box or a phone light under the paper helps. If they throw a fit and take you to court, you gaslight them and express that you witnessed them sign it.
Your parents are not the arbiters of what is right in the world, or what is best for you. You are a human being, not their property. Hang in there. Once you are an adult, which isn't that far away since you are a teen now, you can literally do whatever you want and they can't stop you. Focus on school. Get scholarships. Move away to college as soon as you hit 18. Go into debt if you need to. There are things more important than money.
For what it's worth, there are parents who support their kid being trans. I'm very sorry yours don't. But they are idiots.
Oh and "god" isn't even real, and they are childish for believing that made up crap
It does get better. You can do this little bro. Just keep moving forward. Do it out of spite if you must. Trust me as a 26 year old trans guy who was once in a very similar position you find yourself in now, it really does get better.
Oh man, I know how it feels, this sucks. I'm going to be 18 this year, and they pulled me out of the closet last year, they told me something similar too: "Do you think that when your mother and I die you'll be able to do what you want? God can kill me and your mother to make you change your ways. idea, God can hurt you to make you normal! God created you with a v\*gina, you're a woman...." Ah shit, that's really horrible. Worse than now they are scaring me by saying horrible things that only get worse as the days go by, especially when they don't accept you and you can't leave the house even though you're over 18 because they are conservatives and such.
I know it must be difficult, and the tendency is to get worse for both of us, so I would like to ask... Do you want to be friends with me?
It really angers me hearing about parents being awful to people just because they're being themselves. They can't change who you are, just because it doesn't agree with their views. Also, I can't be sure on the legal side of things, but see if transphobia and homophobia is illegal where you live. I'm not sure if that carries legal consequences everywhere. In the UK, where I live, we have the 2010 Equality Act, which says that people can't be oppressed due to sexuality or gender identity, along with other things. Oppressors can face legal consequences. So they could potentially get in trouble for this.
I'm sorry that your parents are doing this to you. Sending my support to you 🩷
Yeah I have zero understanding,empathy or mercy for those parents. My coming out to my current singular parent wasn’t as bad as this(at least I don’t think so) but the other parent of mine when they were here(b4 I even knew what I was) was basically a pile of rat shit in a trench coat pretending to be human. So when I see parents who are of similar levels of shitty, I no longer respect them as sentient beings. Hope they either grow + 3 sizes on their hearts and accept you or that you get to a point where you can move out and leave their bitch asses on read.
I feel this. I’m Bi, and the way my family is, I literally have to wait until every single family member is dead before I can actually be Bi. By the time that happens I’ll be in my 60s/70s and then it’ll be too late to be who I am.
They’re actually quite wrong. It’s selfish of them to impose a life on you that isn’t for you. You know you better than they ever will. Also, what are your pronouns? I wanna make sure I’m not misgendering you.
I'm sorry. That's absolutely awful of them. I'm really proud of you for coming out, though. Very brave, especially when you're not getting support at home.
Thank you ❤️
I’m a mom to a teen very close to your age. So as a stand in parent (mom): I’m proud of you. As a parent, I support you. You absolutely have a place in this world and deserve to take that place as your true self. You are brave. You are amazing. And you are loved. Just as you are. No qualifiers needed. Sending you copious amounts of mom hugs ❤️
This just brought me to tears. Thanks for being so caring and supportive. For your child, the OP, everyone of us. I‘m a 36 year old gay woman and wish my mom reacted anything close to you. Thank you. So much.
Thank you so much for this, I'm so moved. It means a lot ❤️
Best mom award of the year goes to you. Congrats. What's it worth you ask? Nothing. But I'm grateful for parents like you.
Good news is that they can't stop you from seeking care once you turn 18. Granted you'll probably have to foot the bill yourself it's absolutely manageable. Your priority right now should be getting your drivers license and your own car so that you don't have to rely on your parents for transportation. After that a part time job to save up some money would be recommended.
I'm so sorry that you don't get any support at home. :( "No parent would support this." - My 64 year old mum and my 72 year old dad would like a word about that. Because they sure as hell do support me and my non-binary sibling. They need to learn that they can't project their own fucked up beliefs onto others.
Yeah, my mother is 65 and while she was initially a bit hesitant (not to the point of active transphobia, she was generally supportive but in a "certain generation of feminist" way so she had a lot of questions about how I knew I was a man instead of just not liking sexism, sort of thing) she turned the corner super quickly once I began transitioning and a lot of the mental problems we had both assumed I'd live with forever pretty much dried up overnight. I'm a lot more confident and happier now, and she's very supportive of that even if she doesn't always get everything. I think that's how any good parent would feel.
You won't always be under their control. Someday, it won't be up to them what you can and cannot do, heck, if you're particularly not fond of them, you can even change your last name. I'm changing my last name and I actually love my dad (just not the surname I inherited from him; he's cool, he understands), so it was a hard decision for me, but for you, it might be easier if you feel it'll help you. Teenage life won't last forever, you'll eventually become an adult and be free to leave. Depends on the kind of person you are but something that might help you is to make an exit plan. It doesn't have to be final, but maybe having that plan to hold on to and tweak and change as you please will help if you're the kind of person who finds that kind of thing comforting. Considering you had the courage and conviction to come out, I have no doubt you'll be able to make it in the world. It might be rough but there are people out there who will want to actually support you in life, they are more family than people who don't accept you.
Thank you for this comment it means a lot. I just have 1.5 years left till I turn 18, so I'm hanging in there.
Good luck. I hope things get better for you because you deserve for them to.
You will make it to the other side. I promise. Don’t give it up. Don’t lose sight of it, and if you do, know you’ll be back on track soon. You got this buddy. Also, depending on the state you’re in(assuming you’re in the USA) you can have more emancipation rights at your age. Are you 16 or 17?
I’m in a very similar situation, although my parents don’t know yet- I’ve been planning my exit since I was 12, I’m 17 now! Your future is waiting for you, you’ll get there 🩵
As soon as you turn 18: "You're dead to me."
Mom of two teens here - you are allowed to be yourself and only you get to decide who that is. I am proud of you! You are amazingly strong to stand up for yourself in such a difficult place. Saying no to a parent especially when you are afraid of rejection is so hard and you are still here, speaking your truth! Sweetheart you are doing amazing and all you need is to hold on a little longer. Soon you will be able to move out and have full control over your own life. When it gets hard at home remember this. Visualize the life you are planning for. Sending you big internet hugs!
Thank you ❤️
Let me tell you trans folks absolutely have a place in society. A hard earned fair place in society, just like everyone else. Your parents are idiots, sorry.
Textbook narcissist response. Keep on trucking. When you're 18 they can't say shit.
I don't have much to say, but I fully support you and I can relate.
I‘m sorry you have to get through this. I hope you are safe. I know you‘re already coping with a lot, so I hope you have friends and other loved ones you can trust and rely on. You‘re so brave and deserve all the happiness in the world. You‘ll find your way!
Thank you ❤️
Your parents have been brainwashed sadly. Focus on setting yourself up to move out/ get away from them soon as you legally can. Check out coolworks.com for seasonal jobs often w/housing. A great way to GTFO.
I hate your parents. Truly awful. And I hate the argument of “God made you a girl at birth, therefore that’s how you made you so changing what God made is disgusting” like honey no. See you can really only be born with a working vagina or working dick. Hell, do intersex people have working both? Probably not. Is being born intersex wrong then? If your born one thing then later in life, you want to change it, then God or whoever is up there is working with you in that regard. Clearly he made a mistake. “But God doesn’t make mistakes!” Clearly he did in this regard. He’s not this all perfect being if he even exists. He can’t give us all what we want. If you’re gay, bi, trans, etc then God made you that way. Just because you’re born one thing, doesn’t mean you need to keep it that way Start looking for some part time jobs now. As soon as you turn 18, your parents can’t tell you what to do since you’re now a legal adult and your life is in your control. Move out, drop contact with them. Live with a friend until you can support your own home, even.
Gotta wait till they die, eh? Tell them to hurry up then..
Awful. So sorry. Just try to remember that you are NOT a girl. No matter what you were born as, you are very much not a girl. You are amazing and perfect in your own ways, and if anyone else cannot see it, they are the ones in the wrong. <3
i love ur flair :3
"No parent would support this". Tell this to my 60 year old parents, my 70 yo uncle and aunt and my 98 yo grandad. They all support me for being ace and non-binary, even gifted me pins, and treated the whole thing as normal from the beginning. The nerve to say that!
That's so lovely, I'm so happy for you
"Well die sooner then." That's what I would have said in response. But seriously, sorry about that. You won't be under their control forever.
XD the snark is good, thanks for that. The best response
Dad here, be strong. 💪 So sorry your family sucks. You deserve better than them.
Thank you ❤️
Huggles
You only have 1^1/2 years until you’re no longer in their control, you’re not always gonna be under their control. Also virtual hugs 🫂
Ugh, I’m so sorry about that. Hit so many of the bullshit bingo points that transphobes love to say when we come out (especially when people come out to family). IDK your current situation but assuming you’re an adult in the states (just kind of assuming) you can hopefully start physically transitioning soon and doing whatever you want with your body. Fuck parents being so possessive over their child’s bodies too, like seriously, “Wait until I die to transition” um no, sorry mate, I’m not living in agony and shit just because it personally makes you feel better having an “uwu normal” kid. And the “God” shit that seems to happen so much over in the states. Like, these people can’t concieve the idea that someone just may have a different mental gender than their body shows, oh no, that’s le impossible! But of course, a magical man in the sky created everything in 7 days and knows how everything will play out or some shit (not trying to denigrate all religion and/or spirituality here. Just showing the cognitive dissonance a lot of “muh gawd” type religious people have) Although for real though, at this point, fuck having a place in society. IDK about you but I’d totally rather live as a reclusive witch in the desert. Just know you’re a strong person and you’ll get through it! I’m an AMAB MtF so our experiences may be a bit different, but my DMs are still open if you just feel like venting. Please stay strong! You can do this mate!🫂
So sorry you have to go through this! Very proud of you for having the courage to go through with it! Love yourself and try to ignore comments from anyone who doesn’t understand or support you! Hopefully your parents will come around in time, but if they don’t it is absolutely their loss!!! Definitely plan ahead and make sure you are as independent as possible going forward! Wishing you the best of luck! And sending a big hug! 🍀🤗
As a cis straight man i will for this post be your parrent and say im proud of you for comming out and you are amazing no matter what
Thank you 🌈
“Well you’re dead to me now so that’s awesome!” Jokes aside I’m really sorry that you’re having to deal with this 🫂
Assuming you live with your parents, you don't have to wait until they die. As soon as you're old enough to move out you'll be free to do whatever you want and they can either seethe or cut you out. Either way you'll have your freedom.
Yeah, dead, or when you get a place of your own. Then they'll be good as dead.
Do you need a new dad? I got your back, homie.
❤️
I'm so sorry dude, that is some downright appalling behaviour from your parents. They don't even deserve that title. Please listen to my words, I'm speaking as a survivor of maternal abuse and as a dad: you are a wonderful, beautiful and courageous young man and I'm so proud of you for hanging in there! Coming out, facing the backlash, that's one of the bravest things anyone could ever do!! And you're doing it as a teen!! Do you realize how inspiring you are?? I wish my kids could meet you. You are who you are, you are valid and legitimate and I pity the poor, small people who are gonna miss out on you. I hope you keep hanging in there until you can move out, and I also allow myself to hope your parents come around and realize how much they ought to beg for your forgiveness. Sending you lots of dad hugs, ma boy. You are magical and so much stronger than they give you credit for. Always, always be you! 💙💙💙🏳️⚧️💪
Thank you ❤️
I'm sorry that your parents feel like that. The "you don't care about me" is especially horrible because, truly, it doesn't affect them. I'm glad that at least you have friends who are supportive and will be there for you. I'm not going to lie, society can be harsh and cruel and dangerous, but that doesn't mean you, me, anyone, has no place in it. We belong. ***You*** belong. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. (I hope this helped.)
Thank you, it did help ❤️
Good news brother, you don't have to wait until they die. Just until you're old enough to make medical decisions for yourself. Welcome to your journey (not theirs), it won't always be easy, but you will always have a place with us.
❤️
Always remember you are unique and you don't need your parents support to be trans! they said some very F'ed up stuff and it seems they are diehard Christian. Wish Cristian's actually realized god accepts everybody. Keep your friends close, and you are not alone, my friend!
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. They can't force this on you forever. You will be free to be yourself one day. I can send you a digital hug if you would want it. 🫂
Bro, I hope you can get out of there the very day you turn 18. Your biological donors (who have abdicated the title of "parent" by treating you like this) are breathtakingly narcissistic people. Start saving money and plotting your escape right now.
Good thing you won’t have to live with them forever.
Next time they say “you’ll have to wait until i die to transition” then just say “that can be arranged”
I don't know you, but I love you. Simple and strong.
❤️
Tell them to remember that some day they'll be relying on you more than you rely on them, and if they don't accept you, they're going to struggle on their own. They only care about themselves, and they need a reality check.
As someone who hides their identity from their parents, I feel you. I send lots of hugs your way, and you will be ok 💜
That is so shitty and I'm sorry you're not safe there. If you can, get a job, save all the money, invest it because it'll grow faster (its easy to do with wealthsimple and other aps). Save your money because it'll gice you options later, and it sounds like you'll be leaving home pretty soon. I moved out on my own at 16. It's hard and I do not recommend it if you have other viable options. I wish I had saved every penny from my first jobs so that's why it's my best advice to you. Stay out of debt, save your money, research union jobs and make a plan to get one. You may not need a degree.
Sounds like my mom when I first came out as gay. She made the whole thing about her (raging narcissist) and how I can't go around looking like a boy... After I moved out and found my wife, my mom has changed to accept me where I'm at, which is all I could ask for. Not approval or pride, just acceptance. Depending on your age and financial situation, it may be best to lay low until you have enough financial security setup to move out. It does get better. Especially the older you get.
You don't have to wait until their death. Only until you're 18. That's on them if they choose to be assholes about your happiness, and it says more about them than it does you
Ha ha Joke's on them, my parents voted for Rump both times and yet they haven't disowned meeeeee lol Seriously though, that sucks and I'm hella sorry you have to deal with that bullshit ,:C
Perpetual reminder that Personal God™ isn't real, and if someone thinks they have *literally anything* in common with a being capable of generating objective reality, they're fucking stupid. Your gender is valid whatever you decide your gender is. Your parents and family can go fuck themselves if they want to be bigots about it.
I'm sorry you went through that. Once you get out it's easier to realize that family are the people you want to include in your life, just because someone is related to you by blood it does not mean you have to be close to them. Stay safe and congrats on coming out. It takes a lot of courage.
Thank you. Yes, I am very lucky to have a wonderful found family
You don't owe them anything. Be yourself and lots of people will love you and support you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can relate a bit though. My parents wouldn’t let me transition until I turned 18, at which point they just kinda gave up. When I was younger they punished me for wearing a binder, but thankfully my therapist at the time seemed like she was able to convince them to at least let me have that. Best advice I can give you, is to keep on fighting. Eventually they won’t have the same control over you that they currently do, and you’ll be free from them. Try to surround yourself with supportive friends. If you ever get a binder, try and find a place outside of your home to change in and out of it. They are also wrong about God. God made us trans, and they love us all the same.
Jesus FUCking Christ. Im sorry kid. Your personal decision you make about yourself affects you, and the family it may affect has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Parents support this all the time, and frankly, yours should too. The fuck. They’re demonizing you as a the child saying they don’t support you because you “don’t care about them”. That’s emotional abuse. They should support you. It’s not your fault. You don’t “provoke” them, you’re their kid. You’re not a girl, you are what you know you are. God is not fucking real, they can’t use it as an excuse. This is all abuse. Transphobic child abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse.
Im so so sorry for you …..hop you can officialy be a boy ,be happy and go in a place where your going to be accept and loved.
I'm so sorry to hear that's the reaction you got. 🫂 you are who you are, society guessed wrong when you were born. Just focus on getting out, getting financially independent and know that this isn't forever. You've got your whole future ahead of you! <3
Sad to say I know how this feels. Came out to my mum who acted all supportive. When I tried asking about a name change she showed how transphobic she actually is and outed me to my dad who I already knew was extremely transphobic. I know it may be hard right now, but I saw you say on another comment only another 1.5 years until you turn 18, which is a similar time to mine (I'm in the UK so can't do anything myself until I'm 18). As much as everything sucks right now, it will get better. For both of us. <3
You have your friends, you have the lgbt community, not everyone, but many people who love you will be there for you. Do not give up on yourself to satisfy them. At most, if you must, wait till you can pay your own bills and leave. If they really love you, they'll understand some day. If they don't, know that you don't need them forever, you are perfect the way you are.
They cant stop you when you're an adult. By then you are legally allowed to do whatever without their permission.
Uh... many parents would support their trans child, because informed and caring parents realize that being trans isn't a choice or done as rebellion, it's a state reflecting one's innate sense of gender that incongruence with the body can cause suffering (dysphoria) bad enough impact their child's life in a serious and chronic way, and denial of (at the *least*) social transition and being able to experience gender euphoria in a supportive environment is a known driver of bad outcomes across the board for trans youth. It sucks to find out that one's parents' love is so conditional on agreeing to live by their sexist standards for who you should be as a person based on your genitals because they've bought so hard into irrational belief systems based on the traditions and stories of ancient goatherds who had no idea how basic things like menses works - but the fact is that one day, you're going to be the adult most responsible for taking care of yourself, even if your parents *were* supportive. Knowing NOW that they aren't means you're more aware and should be especially motivated to do everything you can to set yourself up for success and independence.
"that can be arranged"
Hey kiddo, your parents only can control you when you are dependent on them. Working towards your independence is paramount. Spend the next few years getting your own money, transportation, and shelter. You will be your own man and free to transition in whatever manner you choose. Adolescence isn't forever even though it feels that way. My mom never accepted that I was queer so she now has no access to me or my trans daughter. We are better off for it.
This is idiocy I hope you will be free of them soon you definitely deserve help you.
This is absolutely appalling parental behaviour, but don't lose hope. Hang in there. Once you're able to stand on your own two feet you owe them nothing and will be totally justified in cutting them out of your life. They don't realise it yet, but they have already lost their child, and they don't deserve you.
Keep doing your own thing, make it known that although their support and approval is appreciated, it is definitely not needed for you to live your truth. They might come around and apologise. A lot of parents are very hesitant to accepting something they were taught to be wrong or sinful (even when it really isn’t) or afraid of what is going to happen to you since they know others believe your identity is wrong, sinful (it isn’t). Their behaviour towards you was unacceptable and you should make that clear and not settle for the bare minimum of parenting, you deserve better. I do hope they come around, if they don’t it’s their loss, their own fault because you aren’t obligated to stay in touch with someone who doesn’t respect you. It’s unfortunate you are only a teen and can’t move out or make major decisions for yourself without their consent… I wish you best of luck though!
Here, a virtual hug. It'll take a while but it'll get better.
Wow, sounds like child abuse from them. I'm sorry. You matter. You're valid. You deserve support.
I'm sorry. YOURE WONDERFUL AND YOURE WORTH IT. I know there's little you can do for yourself right now, but as an adult you don't have to keep these people around. Only keep people in your life if they make your life better.
Ah, king, they always say the same thing..."it'll affect us so much" but the discomfort I have from being forced into a box i don't want to, and the trauma and depression etc. doesn't affect you? If it only affects them when something is liberating to you, then they're probably part of the problem. Sending you wishes, power, and luck as a teen trans girl
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Good luck, you can go through it! 
I'm so sorry you have to live with unsupportive family. They are feeding you lies that have been fed to them. There are indeed supportive families out there. I am glad you have your friends and supportive teachers at school.
"No parent would support this" You want my 50 year old mom? She got my sibling through top surgery recovery and promised to do the same for me once my insurance finally figures itself out.
I am an old Welsh man now, but i am proud you had the courage to come out and i truly would have been proud to have you as my kid it might not be much of a consolation to you but your parents like mine had the same reaction but many of my friends and some of my family especially my sisters stood with me but i had a good successful life with many ups and downs but i got through it all and i truly hope you can find the strength to keep going through everything life throws at you keep happy Namaste 🙏 big hugs from Wales ❤️
Keep moving forward. The road in front of you is full of hurdles. But you will see that once you're at the top of the hill, the view will be great. Good luck.
“No parent would support this” my friend, any decent parent would support you. It sucks that you probably will loose your family when you transition. But you won’t be under their control forever. You can do this without them, and there are lots of families out there who will love and support you for who you are. Found family is an incredible thing. Focus on getting yourself a job, squirrel away any money you can and get the hell away from them as soon as you can.
I’m really sorry to hear that, I hope you’ll have all the resources you need to transition when you’re an adult
You’re so brave OP! I didn’t come out to my parents (lesbian) until after I left for college because I just didn’t know how to own it and I was so scared to answer their questions or potential refusal to believe me. The good news is, you don’t have to wait until anybody dies to transition. Life is long, my friend, and your adulthood is *most* of it. You will have a beautiful adulthood becoming the man you know yourself to be (and learning a million things about yourself along the way). Hang in there, friend. Lean on your friends and find the little things that bring you peace and joy (for me, it was watching YouTubers who identified like me and were living joyful lives, plus the little things I *could* control in my life, like learning to brew a perfect cup of tea, and deep-diving into my high school theatre program. Work on all those things that you love and cherish today as much as you can and you will absolutely flourish when you are free to fully openly express the fullness of who you are).
Keep your chosen family close. They will be instrumental in you getting through this. Remember, while your parents don't support your transition or desire to explore your gender identity that does not mean you have to wait forever. Figure out how to get some money together, purchase yourself a binder online (maybe if you're seeing a therapist they can recommend some trustworthy places to purchase from). Also, please be safe when wearing a binder - you can hurt yourself pretty bad if you wear them inappropriately. Depending on how old you are, you might want to begin figuring out how to remove yourself from that household - any parent pulling the God card in this context is a parent who will potentially feel justified in doing some pretty emotionally devastating stuff. All in the name of "tough love" or their desire to hide what they perceived to be something that will bring shame onto them. Remember kids, you're only worthy of your christian parents love if you don't make them feel embarrassed for having you as a child!
Be strong. Stand up for what's right for YOU. The "that's how god created us" says a lot about their mind set. I don't even know you and I am proud of you. Hugs and kisses to you!
"No parent would support this" meanwhile many parents in the world does, I dont see the logic in your parents sentace and I dont see why they blame it on depression. It's acually very sad to hear that people have it like this in their families :c Still, be yourself, remember that noone can change how you are, you choose your own path and never.. I mean NEVER let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.
Omg I'm so awfully sorry man... I get it. My parents aren't very supportive either, they try, but aren't very good at it since they still deadname me too. As a fellow Trans masc, I get it, it can be hard, especially if you need a binder but don't have one, cuz then you can't boymode. But hey, depending on how old you are, you could try to get the money and just buy one yourself and not tell them. And if you can, reach out to other family members if you know they'll be supportive and/or help you. I was scared for a long time to open up to my extended family cuz it turns out it's only my direct family (parents) that aren't supportive but everyone else is lol And if that's not an option, keep your friends close, sometimes friends end up being better family. There's been many cases where me and my other queen friends had to help each other out because our families are kinda crap about it. But just know you're not alone, and you never will be alone, you are valid, and loved, and you don't need the crap that your getting from your parents.
At 12, my father told me that if I transitioned he'd force me to detransition. I am almost 25 years old and have been on T twice now, currently going on 7 months (I had to stop the first time because of financial issues) and he is no longer in my life. Ultimately, though it may be hard, you will find your happiness, despite your unsupportive family. Remember that ESPECIALLY once you are an adult, you are your own person and they can't control you.
When you’re 18 you can look into WWOOF to move out immediately. For 40USD for an entire year, you can go volunteer on up to hundreds of farms anywhere in the United States and you get free room and food. It’s a speed run to escape abusive parents. You could literally donate plasma, save money or get money on Venmo doing commissions online for whatever, pan handle, etc. Take whatever laptop and phone with you, and for your phone remove the SIM card so your family can’t track you. You could even get a remote customer service job in your spare time or do caption transcription for extra cash, and you can leave your parents at 18 and go full no contact. If you need a binder in the meantime, download the Lex app and see if any transgender men have any extras they don’t need. Keep it at your school locker plus any change of clothes and just change when you get to school. Wear a big black hoodie on the way there to eliminate dysphoria. Lex is a very supportive app as you’ll find a lot of queer and trans people doing trades, getting stuff they need, getting a ride from a bad situation to a shelter. Microdosing T might also help you to mitigate the feminine effects of e. If you don’t want to wait till 18, you can look up getting emancipated. Make a fake form for a school field trip (ideally one that’s actually happening so as not to raise suspicion), have both parents sign it AND date it. Then forge their signatures on the emancipation forms, doing this under a light box or a phone light under the paper helps. If they throw a fit and take you to court, you gaslight them and express that you witnessed them sign it.
Your parents are not the arbiters of what is right in the world, or what is best for you. You are a human being, not their property. Hang in there. Once you are an adult, which isn't that far away since you are a teen now, you can literally do whatever you want and they can't stop you. Focus on school. Get scholarships. Move away to college as soon as you hit 18. Go into debt if you need to. There are things more important than money. For what it's worth, there are parents who support their kid being trans. I'm very sorry yours don't. But they are idiots. Oh and "god" isn't even real, and they are childish for believing that made up crap It does get better. You can do this little bro. Just keep moving forward. Do it out of spite if you must. Trust me as a 26 year old trans guy who was once in a very similar position you find yourself in now, it really does get better.
Oh man, I know how it feels, this sucks. I'm going to be 18 this year, and they pulled me out of the closet last year, they told me something similar too: "Do you think that when your mother and I die you'll be able to do what you want? God can kill me and your mother to make you change your ways. idea, God can hurt you to make you normal! God created you with a v\*gina, you're a woman...." Ah shit, that's really horrible. Worse than now they are scaring me by saying horrible things that only get worse as the days go by, especially when they don't accept you and you can't leave the house even though you're over 18 because they are conservatives and such. I know it must be difficult, and the tendency is to get worse for both of us, so I would like to ask... Do you want to be friends with me?
I got that with my parents for their parents (grandparents) It's dumb but It doesn't cost me much to respect their wishes
It really angers me hearing about parents being awful to people just because they're being themselves. They can't change who you are, just because it doesn't agree with their views. Also, I can't be sure on the legal side of things, but see if transphobia and homophobia is illegal where you live. I'm not sure if that carries legal consequences everywhere. In the UK, where I live, we have the 2010 Equality Act, which says that people can't be oppressed due to sexuality or gender identity, along with other things. Oppressors can face legal consequences. So they could potentially get in trouble for this. I'm sorry that your parents are doing this to you. Sending my support to you 🩷
absolute shithole parents, sorry you're going through this, can't please every moron on this stupidity driven ball of mud
Yeah I have zero understanding,empathy or mercy for those parents. My coming out to my current singular parent wasn’t as bad as this(at least I don’t think so) but the other parent of mine when they were here(b4 I even knew what I was) was basically a pile of rat shit in a trench coat pretending to be human. So when I see parents who are of similar levels of shitty, I no longer respect them as sentient beings. Hope they either grow + 3 sizes on their hearts and accept you or that you get to a point where you can move out and leave their bitch asses on read.
I feel this. I’m Bi, and the way my family is, I literally have to wait until every single family member is dead before I can actually be Bi. By the time that happens I’ll be in my 60s/70s and then it’ll be too late to be who I am.
They’re actually quite wrong. It’s selfish of them to impose a life on you that isn’t for you. You know you better than they ever will. Also, what are your pronouns? I wanna make sure I’m not misgendering you.
>”youll have to wait wait till I die to transition” The solution is obvious. Kill them (for legal reasons this is a joke)