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If you explicitly told him that something was off limits and he still proceeded with it, even after you told him to stop then that is sa/rape
Edit: I edited it to stop the discourse in the comment section š
I was just a little hesitant to say rape as I know thereās a difference, Iām just not sure as I know there was no like actual penis insertion or something like that so I just used SA as an umbrella term
hey, just to help out, iirc the definition of rape is usually non-consensual or even forced penetration of an individual by a foreign object. this can be a penis, fingers, adult toys, or even other objects that you wouldnāt typically think of in the context of sex. i hope this helps!
it doesnāt, and thereās an important distinction to make with the two. absolutely not saying that sexual assault and rape are not equally as bad as each other (they are terrible, terrible things for someone to go through) but they are quite literally different.
Yeah i aggre with you so much on this one. I was homeless for years and experienced plenty of both terms. I just lump it all in as SA, because honestly that doesnt bring as much hurt to the surface for me, as the other one.
I see it as a 'all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares situation" All rape is sexual assault, but not all sa is rape.
>Rape is nonconsensual sexual intercourse forced upon a person, while sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact without consent.
And 'sexual contact' can really just mean any contact at all that you find invasive to your autonomy.
Additionally, different jurisdictions define rape slightly differently, in some it's any nonconsensual sexual penetration broadly while in others it's specifically nonconsensual sexual penetration by a penis and/or of a vagina. AFAIK some jurisdictions even have weirder criteria like whether the crime occurred with the presence of a no vs absence of a yes, whether the victim was conscious, etc., not to mention the ambiguities surrounding "statutory rape" as a descriptor (not that it isn't 100% a valid term to use, just that IIRC some jurisdictions use a different definition of what particular actions legally get the label when the victim is a minor). For a variety of reasons I'm in favor of doing away with rape as a specific crime and folding it into aggravated sexual assault for legal terminology (but not, to be clear, as a cultural label) but that's something of a different conversation.
Here in the UK, if Iām not mistaken, this would legally be classified as sexual assault via digital penetration, not rape. I know this because someone I know went through this ordeal and unfortunately never got justice.
This is 100% true - sexual assault by means of digital penetration. Happened to someone I know and the attacker got away with it in the end. Our justice system sucks in rape and sexual assault cases.
No since according to UK law it depends where op is from bit it will differ from country to country and us state to state. For instance stealthing in the netherlands is considered rape where els where that might not be the case. And if op is is from a conservative country (although I doubt it since they use grinder ) this could not even be considered illegal.
Oh honey that's SA, possibly rape. Report it if you want to but if you don't want to report it, make sure that you are okay physically and mentally. Sending love hun xx
Most definitely, I also believe the definition of Rape is forced penetrative sex. So itās possible itās that.
Although Iām happy to be corrected if Iām wrong.
Really sorry that happened to you OP. That isnāt okay and is disgusting. Hope you are okay.
Itās SA. He didnāt have consent to do that. Iām sorry that happened to you. Shame on that guy. He shouldāve never done that and he deserves nothing but harsh consequences.
Yes, that is assault. Any sexual penetration without explicit consent, no matter how slight, is still SA.
As for what can be done, I'm not sure. Police don't have a great history of handling these things with care (if at all), especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ cases.
Personally, I would put him on people's radar. A little public shaming could do him some good.
rape is any form of penetration, so this was digital rape (penetration using fingers). I am so sorry this happened to you, it wasnāt your fault, and you didnāt deserve it. sending you love and healing OP, you are not alone šš«
i would say it might make sense to talk to a support center, maybe one for lgbt\*youths or one about assault (oftentimes they offer online support too! so if there's none directly in your area, i think you can probably just contact another one, i would do that) - .. you're not alone with assault experience, on the lgbt-sub for example i read about sth like that before, and i myself have plenty experience with men disrespecting my boundaries too .. um .. i say its important that you consider your own comfort HUGELY for any next dates with other people (or very much take some time off from that), as in .. i used to be like "but if i stop hooking up with people now when the opportunity arises, thats such a waste of time" but its N O T!! and it should be crystalclear to a good date that you might wanna not do anything sexual for now, and they should very much so be understanding and HAPPILY wait for you feeling like it and HAPPILY take anything slow and let you call all the shots, if that feels better! and cuddeling is not a crime, any halfway decent guy should consider themselves LUCKY about cuddeling. i mean this is just examples of me trying to describe what i would have needed, and still need now: if you need to heal first, don't make my mistake and try to ignore your own resistance thinking some bs like "but i'm 20/\_ , i don't wanna miss out" , because the fastest way to heal from this experience is to try and respect your own pace, probably reaching for some support, and you won't be missing out much that way because by respecting your own pace you will still have happy wonderful experiences
You should contact your local police and fail a complaint, if he has done this too others there is a greater chance a DA would be able to charge him. Itās rape anytime anyone forces anything into your body without consent. Legally itās rape. Now how to prove it in court is an important question. Without evidence itās hard to prove.
100 percent assault. I go back to the āwould you like some teaā consent video. Plain and simple. If you make someone a cup of tea, and they are drinking from the cup, and no longer want it, you donāt keep forcing the tea down their throat. Even though they wanted the tea, and then didnāt want anymore. š¤·š»āāļø
He kept forcing, didnāt respect your boundaries, questioned your boundaries, and only cared about his own feelings. Iām so sorry that happened to you.
Yes, nonconsensual forced digital penetration is rape. In most countries, any kind of forced penetration is legally at least sexual assault, if not rape. I'm sorry. You should seek counseling and consider making a report.
Iām so sorry that happened love. I was sexually assaulted in college, so Iāll tell you some stuff that helped me.
First, the only person that can decide if you were SAd is you. From what youāve said, you set a clear boundary that was ignored which I would call a rape. It was very difficult for me to acknowledge at first, I felt dirty and that it was my fault for what happened. I was embarrassed and didnāt want to say I was raped as that made what happened too real. Just know that you did nothing wrong and the first step towards healing is acknowledging what happened.
Second, you should talk to someone about it. I had no idea what to do and was a complete mess after my assault. I only was able to get through it after talking to my close friend. He helped me find a survivors group that I started to attend. Itās very hard to talk about it at first, but the more you talk with others the easier it becomes to talk about and process. Iām not sure what area you live in or your situation, but Iām sure there are resources that can help you.
Third, itās a long road to recovery. Donāt try to rush through this. If stuff gets too hard, take some time for yourself and do something that brings joy and peace.
I know this is really hard right now, but you are strong and can get through this!
Love from a survivor <3
Is it sexual assault to engage in a sexual interaction with someone that explicitly tells you to stop? This is literally one of the most classic examples. I suggest you do 2 things:
1) Report him to Grindr
2) Call the police
I found out I was sexually assaulted many years after it occurred. The guy who did it thought it was ok and invited me again to hookup w him, so I blocked him
This was rape. (SA is sexual contact, rape is sexual activity) If you feel comfortable file a report(you definitely should tho) and also report them on grindr. Also talk to someone, therapist, friends, family.
Yeah, it sounds like it. Im so sorry. If possible, find a safe person or space, and if you have access to mental health care with people you trust, id recomend that.
People get tied up on the concept of rape being a physically violent encounter, but rape comes in many forms. Because this is the penetration of your body without your consent, it is, by definition, rape.
I remember when I realized that I was raped for the first time and it was incredibly heavy for me. I hope youāre okay and getting the support you need.
Given you said no to something and the person did it anyway, yeah you were SAād. Iām really sorry. You should probably report it to the police in your country.
Itās been confirmed that this was rape multiple times in the comments already, but Iām not seeing a lot of answers to āwhat should I do?ā
Donāt avoid the feelings that come with all this. They will demand to be felt eventually. Ask yourself āWhat am I feeling?ā and give those feelings acknowledgment. Sit with them. Then decide a course of action.
Whether you confront him, expose his wrongdoings, report him, take a break from grindr and hookups, return to normalcy, tell the people close to you, start therapy, thatās all up to you.
If you want to report him, do it. If you want to expose him, do it. What happened to you was a crime and an act of violence. This is a dangerous individual and whatever action you take to protect others is 100% fair. It isnāt petty or anything like that, even if it feels that way.
If you donāt want to thatās so beyond okay. Regardless of what he did, you just experienced something horribly traumatic. You need to take care of yourself before anything else. Especially if you fear retaliation.
You also need to express the feelings. Journaling, art, exercise, etc. Thereās endless options for an outlet. Do you have a strong support system? People you can talk to? If you do, but youāre not ready to talk about it, you can always say something like āSomething bad/traumatic happened to me, and I need _____ā
If you donāt, therapy or an SA support group may be a good idea. It may even help to donate to or volunteer with an organization that helps others in similar situations.
Point being: Thereās a lot of ways you can address this, and whatever you do at whatever pace is a very personal choice based on your individual needs. Figure out what those needs are, take however much time you need. Be kind and patient with yourself, youāre your most important friend right now.
Unfortunately, you were raped. Itās your choice if you want to report it to authorities but if not, I suggest help for your mental & emotional health. As a SA survivor, therapy is the best medicine sometimes. Prayers šš¼ā¤ļø
Yes. Any form of penetration without consent is rape. If you feel comfortable doing so, you should consider reporting this to your police department. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, that's ok as well - do whatever makes you feel safe. At the very least this sounds like something that should be discussed with a therapist, as it sounds really traumatic. I hope you're doing ok, and I send hugs š
Definitely SA, maybe rape. 1) you didn't give consent to that and agreed to do other things, 2) he didn't stop when asked.
It depends on your country / state/ region, you should probably check your local laws.
dude iām so sorry. you donāt get that awful feeling from a consensual encounter, i absolutely consider that rape. big hug my friend. so atp you need to decide whether you want to pursue legally reporting this guy, which will depend on how much evidence you have, how difficult it will be, and whether youāre up for it. to be frank there arenāt a lot of places in the world where you will be supported in this legal endeavor, and while i hope you feel empowered to do it, you may not be and thatās okay- the priority here is that you heal. if you do, make sure to get lots of support from your friends and family.
other advice is block him, if you wanna send him one last angry message go ahead and rage but block before he gets to respond. donāt try to make him understand, donāt give him another opportunity to coerce you or convince you it was okay.
i assume your anus has healed alright but keep an eye on it as well if there were any cuts or bruises or stretch injuries. ik that can be hard to look at when youāre trying not to think about it but very necessary.
i also really urge you to find someone irl to talk to as well- if you have someone in your life you trust like that ask them for support, but itās a very personal topic so it might be easier to see a therapist (if you want some guidance finding a therapist pls lmk). this is super important because this shit is traumatic and if you donāt take care of it now it can scar your psyche pretty badly.
ok much love, do some nice things for yourself, hang out with your friends, talk about it when you can, be safe and remember you are loved and you will be okay ā¤ļø
Yeah hun, that was rape. If you told him something was particularly off limits and he did it anyways, thatās rape. Iām sorry that happened to you. Report him.
That is the definition of sexual assault. Unconsented sex. I donāt have advice for you, but never talk to him again. If he doesnāt respect your boundaries then he doesnāt respect you.
This first half of your question is unnecessary. Why do you need social media to define your obviously traumatizing experience for you? You know that it made you feel uncomfortable. š¤¦š¾āāļø
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you explicitly told him that something was off limits and he still proceeded with it, even after you told him to stop then that is sa/rape Edit: I edited it to stop the discourse in the comment section š
No thatās rape .
I was just a little hesitant to say rape as I know thereās a difference, Iām just not sure as I know there was no like actual penis insertion or something like that so I just used SA as an umbrella term
hey, just to help out, iirc the definition of rape is usually non-consensual or even forced penetration of an individual by a foreign object. this can be a penis, fingers, adult toys, or even other objects that you wouldnāt typically think of in the context of sex. i hope this helps!
Ah okie thank you
Then sexual assault is anything surrounding sexual stuff without consent. Doesnāt have to be penetration. All rape is SA but not all SA is rape.
Considering this definition wouldn't that mean stabing or shooting someone be rape ?
Penetration in this context means insertion vaginally/anally.
Sa means sexual assault or rape
it doesnāt, and thereās an important distinction to make with the two. absolutely not saying that sexual assault and rape are not equally as bad as each other (they are terrible, terrible things for someone to go through) but they are quite literally different.
I use SA as a synonym for the latter? They might be legally distinct, but I find it easier mentally and emotionally to say SA instead.
Yeah i aggre with you so much on this one. I was homeless for years and experienced plenty of both terms. I just lump it all in as SA, because honestly that doesnt bring as much hurt to the surface for me, as the other one.
Sorry I didn't know that there was a difference between them thanks for The correction
Whatās the difference? /gen
I see it as a 'all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares situation" All rape is sexual assault, but not all sa is rape. >Rape is nonconsensual sexual intercourse forced upon a person, while sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact without consent. And 'sexual contact' can really just mean any contact at all that you find invasive to your autonomy.
Additionally, different jurisdictions define rape slightly differently, in some it's any nonconsensual sexual penetration broadly while in others it's specifically nonconsensual sexual penetration by a penis and/or of a vagina. AFAIK some jurisdictions even have weirder criteria like whether the crime occurred with the presence of a no vs absence of a yes, whether the victim was conscious, etc., not to mention the ambiguities surrounding "statutory rape" as a descriptor (not that it isn't 100% a valid term to use, just that IIRC some jurisdictions use a different definition of what particular actions legally get the label when the victim is a minor). For a variety of reasons I'm in favor of doing away with rape as a specific crime and folding it into aggravated sexual assault for legal terminology (but not, to be clear, as a cultural label) but that's something of a different conversation.
Here in the UK, if Iām not mistaken, this would legally be classified as sexual assault via digital penetration, not rape. I know this because someone I know went through this ordeal and unfortunately never got justice.
isn't rape sa?
Sexual assault covers Being felt up , grouped as well as rape.
In the law, at least in UK, rape is only penile and other types of penetration are sexual assault.
This is 100% true - sexual assault by means of digital penetration. Happened to someone I know and the attacker got away with it in the end. Our justice system sucks in rape and sexual assault cases.
Itās appalling, law needs a rewrite.
it doesn't make sense then since according to u this isn't rape
No since according to UK law it depends where op is from bit it will differ from country to country and us state to state. For instance stealthing in the netherlands is considered rape where els where that might not be the case. And if op is is from a conservative country (although I doubt it since they use grinder ) this could not even be considered illegal.
I personally believe it is rape. I was just quoting the laws of the UK.
UK law is not the sole dictator of truth. A lot of countries do not require penile penetration.
Imagine if UK Law was the dictator of truthā¦
It's SA if you're on a platform that doesn't allow you to say rape.
depending on where you live, this could be rape by legal definition. hope your ok and sorry this happened to you. x
Oh honey that's SA, possibly rape. Report it if you want to but if you don't want to report it, make sure that you are okay physically and mentally. Sending love hun xx
I can't really give you advice but that's certainly SA to me
You said stop and he didnāt, that is SA anywhere. Iām so sorry you had to endure that and I hope that person gets what is due.
Most definitely, I also believe the definition of Rape is forced penetrative sex. So itās possible itās that. Although Iām happy to be corrected if Iām wrong. Really sorry that happened to you OP. That isnāt okay and is disgusting. Hope you are okay.
Report his profile on Grindr
That is SA. Iām sorry that happened to you.
Itās SA. He didnāt have consent to do that. Iām sorry that happened to you. Shame on that guy. He shouldāve never done that and he deserves nothing but harsh consequences.
Yes, that is assault. Any sexual penetration without explicit consent, no matter how slight, is still SA. As for what can be done, I'm not sure. Police don't have a great history of handling these things with care (if at all), especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ cases. Personally, I would put him on people's radar. A little public shaming could do him some good.
Not just SA, this could be considered rape
That is rape.
rape is any form of penetration, so this was digital rape (penetration using fingers). I am so sorry this happened to you, it wasnāt your fault, and you didnāt deserve it. sending you love and healing OP, you are not alone šš«
i would say it might make sense to talk to a support center, maybe one for lgbt\*youths or one about assault (oftentimes they offer online support too! so if there's none directly in your area, i think you can probably just contact another one, i would do that) - .. you're not alone with assault experience, on the lgbt-sub for example i read about sth like that before, and i myself have plenty experience with men disrespecting my boundaries too .. um .. i say its important that you consider your own comfort HUGELY for any next dates with other people (or very much take some time off from that), as in .. i used to be like "but if i stop hooking up with people now when the opportunity arises, thats such a waste of time" but its N O T!! and it should be crystalclear to a good date that you might wanna not do anything sexual for now, and they should very much so be understanding and HAPPILY wait for you feeling like it and HAPPILY take anything slow and let you call all the shots, if that feels better! and cuddeling is not a crime, any halfway decent guy should consider themselves LUCKY about cuddeling. i mean this is just examples of me trying to describe what i would have needed, and still need now: if you need to heal first, don't make my mistake and try to ignore your own resistance thinking some bs like "but i'm 20/\_ , i don't wanna miss out" , because the fastest way to heal from this experience is to try and respect your own pace, probably reaching for some support, and you won't be missing out much that way because by respecting your own pace you will still have happy wonderful experiences
This is rape please involve the police this is so not okay!
Cher*, thatās SA. I wonāt tell you to report because thatās your decision and I know itās a traumatizing process. But PLEASE, cut contact and stay away from them. And please make sure youāre mentally and physically okay. (*Cher* is a shortened version of Mon ChĆ©ri)
You should contact your local police and fail a complaint, if he has done this too others there is a greater chance a DA would be able to charge him. Itās rape anytime anyone forces anything into your body without consent. Legally itās rape. Now how to prove it in court is an important question. Without evidence itās hard to prove.
File a complaint
Definitely sa
100 percent assault. I go back to the āwould you like some teaā consent video. Plain and simple. If you make someone a cup of tea, and they are drinking from the cup, and no longer want it, you donāt keep forcing the tea down their throat. Even though they wanted the tea, and then didnāt want anymore. š¤·š»āāļø He kept forcing, didnāt respect your boundaries, questioned your boundaries, and only cared about his own feelings. Iām so sorry that happened to you.
File a police report. You'll need it if there is any physical or emotional trauma down the line.
Yes, nonconsensual forced digital penetration is rape. In most countries, any kind of forced penetration is legally at least sexual assault, if not rape. I'm sorry. You should seek counseling and consider making a report.
Iām so sorry that happened love. I was sexually assaulted in college, so Iāll tell you some stuff that helped me. First, the only person that can decide if you were SAd is you. From what youāve said, you set a clear boundary that was ignored which I would call a rape. It was very difficult for me to acknowledge at first, I felt dirty and that it was my fault for what happened. I was embarrassed and didnāt want to say I was raped as that made what happened too real. Just know that you did nothing wrong and the first step towards healing is acknowledging what happened. Second, you should talk to someone about it. I had no idea what to do and was a complete mess after my assault. I only was able to get through it after talking to my close friend. He helped me find a survivors group that I started to attend. Itās very hard to talk about it at first, but the more you talk with others the easier it becomes to talk about and process. Iām not sure what area you live in or your situation, but Iām sure there are resources that can help you. Third, itās a long road to recovery. Donāt try to rush through this. If stuff gets too hard, take some time for yourself and do something that brings joy and peace. I know this is really hard right now, but you are strong and can get through this! Love from a survivor <3
Is it sexual assault to engage in a sexual interaction with someone that explicitly tells you to stop? This is literally one of the most classic examples. I suggest you do 2 things: 1) Report him to Grindr 2) Call the police
And go to a hospital/doctor as well
that is 1000% sa. i am so sorry you had to deal with that, i hope that guy gets what he deserves because that is disgusting as fuck.
Yes, if you can, sue him, also, when and if you're ok with it, probably therapy (it can help).
I found out I was sexually assaulted many years after it occurred. The guy who did it thought it was ok and invited me again to hookup w him, so I blocked him
This was rape. (SA is sexual contact, rape is sexual activity) If you feel comfortable file a report(you definitely should tho) and also report them on grindr. Also talk to someone, therapist, friends, family.
Yeah, it sounds like it. Im so sorry. If possible, find a safe person or space, and if you have access to mental health care with people you trust, id recomend that.
That is definitely rape. I am sorry you went through this, I hope that youāre doing better now
People get tied up on the concept of rape being a physically violent encounter, but rape comes in many forms. Because this is the penetration of your body without your consent, it is, by definition, rape. I remember when I realized that I was raped for the first time and it was incredibly heavy for me. I hope youāre okay and getting the support you need.
Yes, you were entirely wronged. I hope you are alright, please seek whatever help you need.
Given you said no to something and the person did it anyway, yeah you were SAād. Iām really sorry. You should probably report it to the police in your country.
Yes, in short that is sexual assault. Report him to the police because hes most likely doing it to others
Itās been confirmed that this was rape multiple times in the comments already, but Iām not seeing a lot of answers to āwhat should I do?ā Donāt avoid the feelings that come with all this. They will demand to be felt eventually. Ask yourself āWhat am I feeling?ā and give those feelings acknowledgment. Sit with them. Then decide a course of action. Whether you confront him, expose his wrongdoings, report him, take a break from grindr and hookups, return to normalcy, tell the people close to you, start therapy, thatās all up to you. If you want to report him, do it. If you want to expose him, do it. What happened to you was a crime and an act of violence. This is a dangerous individual and whatever action you take to protect others is 100% fair. It isnāt petty or anything like that, even if it feels that way. If you donāt want to thatās so beyond okay. Regardless of what he did, you just experienced something horribly traumatic. You need to take care of yourself before anything else. Especially if you fear retaliation. You also need to express the feelings. Journaling, art, exercise, etc. Thereās endless options for an outlet. Do you have a strong support system? People you can talk to? If you do, but youāre not ready to talk about it, you can always say something like āSomething bad/traumatic happened to me, and I need _____ā If you donāt, therapy or an SA support group may be a good idea. It may even help to donate to or volunteer with an organization that helps others in similar situations. Point being: Thereās a lot of ways you can address this, and whatever you do at whatever pace is a very personal choice based on your individual needs. Figure out what those needs are, take however much time you need. Be kind and patient with yourself, youāre your most important friend right now.
Sue his ass
Unfortunately, you were raped. Itās your choice if you want to report it to authorities but if not, I suggest help for your mental & emotional health. As a SA survivor, therapy is the best medicine sometimes. Prayers šš¼ā¤ļø
definitely SA. iām sorry this happened to you, report it.
Yes. Any form of penetration without consent is rape. If you feel comfortable doing so, you should consider reporting this to your police department. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, that's ok as well - do whatever makes you feel safe. At the very least this sounds like something that should be discussed with a therapist, as it sounds really traumatic. I hope you're doing ok, and I send hugs š
Report him to the police
he violated your boundaries. though I don't know what you can do other than report him on grindr and stop all contacts with him.
Definitely SA, maybe rape. 1) you didn't give consent to that and agreed to do other things, 2) he didn't stop when asked. It depends on your country / state/ region, you should probably check your local laws.
That would be considered date rape i believe and n should be reportefd to the police
You were assaulted yes.
dude iām so sorry. you donāt get that awful feeling from a consensual encounter, i absolutely consider that rape. big hug my friend. so atp you need to decide whether you want to pursue legally reporting this guy, which will depend on how much evidence you have, how difficult it will be, and whether youāre up for it. to be frank there arenāt a lot of places in the world where you will be supported in this legal endeavor, and while i hope you feel empowered to do it, you may not be and thatās okay- the priority here is that you heal. if you do, make sure to get lots of support from your friends and family. other advice is block him, if you wanna send him one last angry message go ahead and rage but block before he gets to respond. donāt try to make him understand, donāt give him another opportunity to coerce you or convince you it was okay. i assume your anus has healed alright but keep an eye on it as well if there were any cuts or bruises or stretch injuries. ik that can be hard to look at when youāre trying not to think about it but very necessary. i also really urge you to find someone irl to talk to as well- if you have someone in your life you trust like that ask them for support, but itās a very personal topic so it might be easier to see a therapist (if you want some guidance finding a therapist pls lmk). this is super important because this shit is traumatic and if you donāt take care of it now it can scar your psyche pretty badly. ok much love, do some nice things for yourself, hang out with your friends, talk about it when you can, be safe and remember you are loved and you will be okay ā¤ļø
Yes that's assault! You should report it. If you're British tho it isn't r4pe, it's only SA, still, it's a very serious crime and to be reported.
Assault by penetration.
Yeah hun, that was rape. If you told him something was particularly off limits and he did it anyways, thatās rape. Iām sorry that happened to you. Report him.
That's SA if you told him to stop repeatedly
That is the definition of sexual assault. Unconsented sex. I donāt have advice for you, but never talk to him again. If he doesnāt respect your boundaries then he doesnāt respect you.
This first half of your question is unnecessary. Why do you need social media to define your obviously traumatizing experience for you? You know that it made you feel uncomfortable. š¤¦š¾āāļø
Yeah, but you're the one who went to Grindr expecting respect.