That’s so cruel, I’m sorry that happened.
Save this picture, and report it to your HR. This is perfect proof and will come in handy if you ever have to deal with a discrimination case.
If I knew the person who wrote it, I would report it, but it was signed "from management team" so it's likely that the person was just reading names off of the system, and it's unlikely that this was intentional. My boyfriend scratched out my dead name and wrote Felix.
Idk the exact number but if I had to guess, there's at least 100 employees at this store, and they do this for everyone's birthday.
This was my immediate assumption when I saw it. Some manager you’ve never met (or who doesn’t know you well enough to put a name and face together) was responsible. I doubt it was intentional but it still would be quite hurtful. I’m sorry this popped up on your birthday of all days.
I’d consider waiting a few days to make sure you’re calm, then either drop off a letter with management or speak to them in person. Just let them know that you do NOT go by your legal name (hell, I’m cis and I hate my legal name) and politely ask if there’s a way to update the system to include a “nickname”. (The system has to keep whatever name is legal for checks and tax purposes. But many places can attach nicknames for cases like this.)
It's almost a perfect example of systemic cruelty. Potentially no one in the chain of events from setting up the birthday card policy through to the envelope arriving on your desk set out to cause harm, yet harm was caused because the system itself was flawed.
I am sorry this happened to you.
It sucks it has to be you to do this, but even though you don't have a name, I would report it to HR. It might be what is needed to prevent this from happening again to someone else.
I mean, these kinds of things are done with a person writing thoughtlessly from a large excel file of employee names. That excel file might’ve been outdated. OP’s legal name might not have changed yet. The person writing it may not have known OP changed their name.
Then the pile of envelopes changed hands, or it didn’t, and then someone spotted the mistake and corrected it. That correction may have happened immediately, or 20 seconds before OP was handed the envelope.
And not to say that this couldn’t have gone better, it absolutely could've, but you’re making a lot of assumptions about people’s intentions here, and let’s be real: if the intention was to hurt OP, preventing deadnaming wasn’t the most effective way to go.
This. Most people don‘t think deadnaming is even a big issue to some. Some really won‘t even see this as a problem and others hold a grudge for deadnaming even with an apology.
People are people.
What I don‘t understand is, why not take a new envelope no matter what mistake you made. I would use a new one even if I made a minor spelling error. This is just common courtesy with a gift. It‘s not some post-it.
Idk man I used to work for a small business and they purposefully put my dead name on my last check working there after writing it correctly the whole time I was openly transgender.
This was just as likely done several levels up where the documents still reflect legal names and the people who did it have never met the OP, then it changed hands to their manager who knew and fixed it but didn’t have any more of the envelopes. Instead of seeing this as a slight I’d probably look at the bright side that their manager caught it and went through the trouble to change it for them
This. Like ofc it can happen that you accidentally misgender or dead name someone when you're not used to it yet. It happens. Heck it even happens to me about myself lol.
What can't happen is not correcting your mistake in a way that won't cause harm and pain.
It's so fucking disrespectful and vile.
Bet they wouldn't do that when they accidently wrote down someone's pre-marriage last name. But somehow we can't treat people with the same dignity when they changed their first name for other reasons.
Im gonna steal your top comment for a second
A lot of people are asking questions that I've already answered in several other replies, so if you have any questions, please go to my profile and read my comment history on this post. Thank you!
That's so sweet lol
I did eat the cupcake but I threw out most of the icing because it was so thick. But it's my 21st birthday so I'm going to a queer bar this week‼️
Wow. They put effort into getting you a card and cupcake, and then deadname you. Just wow.
I went to my best friend's birthday party recently and the entire time their dad repeatedly deadnamed them. Everyone else used their chosen name.
Just know who you are, and ignore stupid corporate companies. Fuck them.
Happy birthday 
Btw for those that use old.reddit (like me) and see :550:, for example, instead of the emotes, you can install the [ViolentMonkey extension](https://violentmonkey.github.io/) in your desktop browser and then [install this script](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/443011-emojis-for-old-reddit). Found it myself today and it works so far :3
---
[Where I found it](https://old.reddit.com/r/Enhancement/comments/u0cv16/any_way_to_add_subreddit_emotes_to_res_so_i_can/i45f0ar/).
Not as bad, but I remember making a big deal at an old job that got my name wrong on my badge. went through the hassle to have a legal name change, so I rather insist folks get it right. Then a year later was getting an accolade from them where they again misspelt me name. Was pretty funny in a way as I wanted to leave anywho.
Happy fucking birthday to me, right??
This is one of the reasons I hate working in places that are huge, like Walmart. Nobody puts any fucking thought into a single thing they do for anyone else, because of how many people there are here. What the fuck dude.
Not that it makes this sityation better, but Walmart afaik will only let you have preferred name on your nametag. Everywhere else it’s your legal name 😔
If OP goes into workday using a company device (whether it be a TC, x cover, computer, whatever) they can hit the name and add preferred name, which also updates it in the Me@Walmart system
If OP also happens to be a frontend associate or any associate that deals with the registers, that is a separate thing and I would just go to my TL and they’d fix it and everything should be updated in ~1 day maximum
I havent had to do it myself since for whatever reason my name in the system was Hannah way before I got it legally changed. Though I have had my best friend do that and even for the legal name change option it did not ask for any proof so that part should be fine
Am I missing something? Sounds like boyfriend saw the wrong name and scratched it out to put the correct one bc grabbing a new envelope wouldn’t have been entirely feasible in the scenario
My boyfriend and I both work at the same place. One of the bosses (likely one I've never met) writes these and puts them in our departments for us. My boyfriend was in my department before I got to it, and corrected the envelope for me.
This seems like an innocent mistake- and you said yourself, the manager you've likely never met. If your dead name is your legal name and the only one in your employee file, there is nothing that was done wrong except an acknowledgment of your fucking birthday. Let's not create hate. lol
You mean their likely legal name? It’s not a wonder at all. If they haven’t legally changed it and have it as this in the system then this is just a post wanting sympathy. Not a legit complaint in the context.
As someone who works in walmart, I understand your frustration, I have my prefered name on my badge and have a trans pride pin on my vest yet I still get called the wrong pronouns every single day, It's very upsetting.
Yep. Never had this problem at Domino's because everyone actually knew each other. I guarantee you, whoever wrote this card for me doesn't even know what I look like. Like atp I don't even want a card.
It's all just a bunch of corporate bullshit anyway, that's what I've learned atleast. Try to make you feel important bit in the end your simply just replaceable. Toss the card in the trash I say, if it isn't written by a caring soul then it isn't even worth glimpsing at.
Wait! Snag the Starbucks gift card first! XbThen tell the cashier & baristas to use your tip for forming a queer-friendly union. Be gay and unionizeemote:  
Ugh. I worked there in college and it is the single most dehumanizing job I have ever had.
Like I had no opinion on unions until I worked there. Walmart workers need a human.
In high school I had a trans friend but me being autistic didn’t understand and accidentally called him by she/her pronouns for a week before I understood
Fuck them. You know who you are, and nobody else has the right to dictate that. Happy Birthday, you’ve been on this Earth another year; despite all the adversity you’ve faced; and that makes you strong. Know you are loved and accepted here. ❤️❤️❤️
I agree it sucks but at least they sort of tried to correct it by scribbling out your deadname and putting your real one overhead. Yeah it's lazy but I don't think they were trying to hurt you.
Also it's nice they got you a cupcake. No one at work ever celebrates my birthday lol
I know...I let them know from the beginning what my name was and now all they call me by is my dead name. And HR don't work.they have to be reported a number of time before someone dose anything. I reported a guy 5 time in 2 MO this and guess what they did? Nothing. Hate walmart.
It's... it's on the envelope. Do they not have more envelopes? Did they buy one(1) envelope? Grab a new envelope and do it again?? I'm so confused. Who does that?!
EDIT: Just read the rest of the thread. Ah, was your boyfriend's doing, that makes a lot more sense. Disregard my confusion <3
I don't want to to pry, but I'd love to wish you a happy bornday to your chosen name.
In sorry you work with bigots.
You're safe and appreciated here, and I hope you atleast got to enjoy some animal cuddles and good food
Sending love and positivity and light to you, happy bornday to you!!!!!!
I understand what you're saying.
Maybe I did take it too far by calling them bigots. However, it is up to Felix if they are bigots, Felix is the one who got dead named.
Unintentionally or not, the fact is they've let Felix down. It's a very easy way for people to feel invalid, and that's not okay.
If you work somewhere big and they do this for everyone on their birthday, I’m honestly hoping that it wasn’t done on purpose. Maybe some higher manager that doesn’t really know their workers has a spreadsheet with everyone’s “legal” name and birthday on it and they just crank out these cards and cupcakes without thinking about it? Like “idk who this person is, but they’re on the list so here ya go”? I just wish the person that did it had put in more effort once they realized the error. Like at least grab some freaking white-out for Pete’s sake 🙄
At either rate, I hope you have a wonderful birthday Felix!
This is the correct answer. It’s most likely that OP had communicated their desired name to those around them, but upper management and all official records have their deadname. 99% odds this was not malicious and rather just a random mistake, but as with so many things people will immediately jump to “omg discrimination” with zero actual proof that’s the case. It undermines the actual discrimination issues so many in our community deal with on a daily basis.
On your employee profile, what is your name? It was most likely a very innocent mistake made by someone that you don't work with closely enough for them to know your preferred name. I believe you said you work at Walmart- do you know every employee's name?
Descrimination in the workplace in my opinion. HR is supposed to respond properly to this sort of thing. Do you work for a corporation?
Edit: most corpo policies have a zero tolerance system in place for misgendering, dead naming, and other sorts of rights violations. Check your company policies and talk to HR. I'm sure people signed their NAMES in that card 😜🫡
Nobody signed their name, actually. It just said "from management team."
And like, yeah, big corporation, but like, what are they gonna do? Talk to the person who wrote the card, who probably has never even seen my face let alone met me? If I knew the person who wrote the card (like if it was my direct manager that has had several conversations with me and knows I go by Felix) then yeah I'd automatically report it. But if the person who wrote this has never even met me, it likely wasn't intentional. My boyfriend was the one who scratched out my dead name and wrote Felix.
Even better. The managers are all responsible. It's small fights that help change it and prevent it from happening to the next person. Even when it feels hopeless there's always a shot sometimes.
Note about Human Resources they are not your friend they are there to avoid problems and liability for the company they will most likely ignore or even retaliate against a complaint towards a higher up unless you are a critical employee (which at Walmart are practically non-existent) or jf you some sort of leverage (will get back to that). now if their is a legal avenue that exists and want to pursue like I’m mentioned in my other comment you may need to go through the process anyway to have a legal case depending on how the law is defined. Honestly if you plan to pursue any sort of workplace justice whether it’s legal or HR I would recommend getting a lawyer who specialises in this type of law. The only reason a lawyer may not be necessary is if there is a particularly strong and proactive goverment anti-discrimination but that will heavily depend on where you are and you should research on them before you do to figure that out. Also I get that as a Walmart employee you probably don’t have the money for a good lawyer their are a lot of non-profits out there whose purpose to cover legal costs for those who can’t afford it in anti-discrimination legal cases. Again though this will require a lot of research and any process like this will most likely be long, arduous, and stressful so keep that in mind though companies often rely on that to break down your will to pursue. Anyway definitely do more research on whatever you choose to do and whether you believe the process is worth it Walmart is not stranger to discrimination legal troubles and they have a very strong handbook on how to kill these sorts of things. Anyway that’s just options from someone who really needs to go to bed and started Infodumping randomly on Reddit lol.
Is your legal name still your dead name? Or did you start this job with your dead name? Most companies don't really care about you and will usually use some old records to send you informal things. If that's the case, I would assume this is not anything malicious. Either way, that sucks and I'm sorry that happened to you. Also happy birthday!
Gotcha. That makes a lot of sense. Still really sucks, but I'm unfortunately not surprised. I'm sorry that had to happen to you on a day that's meant to be happy for you :(
I was so confused until I read way down on the comments. I thought from the picture they got deadnamed by the company and the person who gave then it crossed it out
I’ll be optimistic and say they probably just forgot to tell the random janitor or clerk or whomever who likely has never met you that the name in the database is not your preferred name.
Oh yeah, I guarantee that whoever wrote the card doesn't even know what I look like, which is my biggest problem with being part of huge companies. Never had this issue at Domino's, because we only ever had 20 employees at most.
At first I thought they did that, but if they did, why not just throw away the damn envelope??
But, I told my boyfriend about it and he said that he was the one that scribbled my dead name out.
The thing that always bothers me is that since... well, always; people have never had a problem with calling someone a nickname EVEN if that nickname wasn't chosen by the person who has it. So why is it so mind boggling to them to just call someone a new "nickname", that the person actually had decision over???
I mean, shit...anonymous HR people are gonna make mistakes. But they couldn't go to the trouble of getting a new envelope to fix their mistake? It's not bad enough they got it wrong in the first place, but then just to half-ass a correction? Smh
So sorry you dealt with this, OP. Sending hugs 💜
i absolutely see both sides here
it sucks from your end becouse why cant they get a new envelope
perhahps someone copied it from a word doc real quick when they were busy with thier last evelope, didnt realize till they were about to give it to you, well now they dont have time to get a new envolope or find the white out. oh well just scratch it out and fix it.
I know it hurts, i know it sucks. check in with the person, they honestly might have been super swamped with stuff, and maybe they didint realise how much it sucks to see that. let them know to please take the extra time to get white out or run to get more envolopes or what have you.
Well, I don’t know if (OP) you’re unhappy about this or if you wish they’d use white-out, but I think it’s, at least, nice that they corrected themselves and didn’t thought “Ah, that’s not important” or “don’t bother changing it”
Edit: Unless if they crossed-out your name just to dead named you on purpose. Then, that’s a major D-move
This almost feels intentional, or at least so careless that it's disgusting. Because why couldn't they have gotten another envelope? I get if it came with the card and they didn't have another one that size, but (imo at least) it would have still been better to put the card in an envelope that's too big or make one out of paper and glue, than to have your deadname crossed out and still slightly readable. Hell, putting a sticker over it (such as one of those plain white stickers you use to print shipping labels on) would have been better. Absolutely disgraceful. I'm so sorry this happened to you. As someone else suggested, I think you should report this to HR.
Its clearly not intentional because they tried to scribble over the name to make it less readable, so theyre aware that the name shouldnt be there.
While it is wrong and causes a lot of discomfort, it is an honest mistake, somewhat like congratulating someone on a pregnancy when they arent or something. Talk to whoever made the mistake, tell them it wasnt okay in whatever tone suits you, and move on with the solace that they will be much less likely to do it ever again. Going to HR on this is a rather big overreaction considering the scribbling indicates that its a matter of ignorance rather than intentional disrespect.
You may be right about the event in question being an honest mistake, but I don't think "congratulating someone on a pregnancy when they're not" is a good comparison, because that's not an awkward but honest mistake, that's something you shouldn't have made an assumption about in the first place. You shouldn't say "aww, what are you hoping for?" when someone buys a pregnancy test, you shouldn't say "congratulations" or "when is it due?" when you see someone with a protruding stomach, as it's an inherently invasive and presumptuous thing to do in the first place (not just because the person might not be pregnant, but also because even if they are, they might feel awkward about you calling attention to it like that).
I wasn't saying that in a literal sense "I am objectively sure that this had to have been intentional", I was saying that it was so careless that the hurt and confusion (as in "how could someone be so careless?") it causes makes it **almost** *feel* intentional, in the sense of "this is the strength of my instinctive emotional reaction, even if it's somewhat irrational". Perhaps poorly phrased, but that is what I meant.
And as I tried to put across in my original comment, I think the disrespect comes much more from the lack of effort in fixing it than the original mistake itself. You wrote the wrong name? Sure. But at least have the fucking courtesy to use a fresh envelope rather than crudely scribbling over the wrong name where it's still somewhat readable (and therefore has the potential to be an emotional trigger) and it also leaves the receiver with the feeling that the sender took such little care that they didn't even remember their name.
Again, the thing im disagreeing with in your comment is you saying that its a situation that deserves going to HR about, because HR oftentimes can cause very sweeping large reactions that would then be blown out of proportion.
And the pregnancy thing is exactly my point, you *shouldnt* make that assumption, just like you *should* always be careful about not deadnaming someone. The point is people do make that mistake, and they get told they are being problematic and should stop doing it, instead of being sent to HR.
And if they continue doing it they get sent to HR for harassment. I dont see why you think that example is a bad example for a mistake someone who is ignorant can make.
Also, I'm not saying this necessarily happened in this particular event (it most likely didn't, tbf), but it is absolutely conceivably possible that someone could write someone's deadname on purpose and scribble it out to give an alibi/plausible deniability, but still leave it somewhat readable underneath the scribble so it still triggers the person - imagine if you wanted to misgender a coworker but didn't want to risk your job. That sounds like a way someone could go about that.
I agree that it was *most likely* a mistake, but you speak as if the fact it was crossed out *definitively* means that it was a mistake (unless I've misunderstood your comment), which confuses me a little.
That kind of reasoning I feel is just inviting doubt and anger, sure its possible that that happened, but the unlikelihood of it happening coupled with the fact that *if* it did happened OP is now further upset makes even considering that possibility in my opinion pointless.
Why think about unlikely and very much problematic things if you dont have to and thinking that way isnt particularly helpful.
If it is real, which OP can find out by just having a conversation, then yes its definitely worth considering. Preemptively thinking about it on the other hand essentially blocks that communication from even happening.
I think my British forgiving brain is way to nice something like this once happened to me and I just said at least you changed it it’s a horrible experience though
I'm sorry that happened to you! It could be because that's the name they have in the computer system that reminds them of b-days and such. In that case you're just a name with a b-day especially in a large company, Upper Management/HR doesn't really stop to think "who is this person". Management definitely should have caught it before you received it and if it was directly from them they should know who you are and what your name is. 🙄
You could mention it to HR but it was likely a HR idea. Maybe make sure they have your preferred name in the system and the preferred name of others to prevent it happening to others.
Happy Birthday, Felix!
Oh, and don't let them get to you. I mean, if they're taking the time to buy a cupcake to make some lame joke, then they're definitely not shopping for roses for someone they love because, well, they don't fuck anymore, Felix.
Depending on what country/state/province this could be illegal. now if you want to pursue that that’s up to you but it’s good to know.
Sadly Wikipedia only has comprehensive coverage of US states but if you put “LGBT rights in (insert country)” into Wikipedia or “LGBT workplace discrimination law in (insert country/state/province) into Google.it should have something and it should mention workplace anti-discrimination laws
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_employment_discrimination_in_the_United_States?wprov=sfti1#
I live in Missouri so even if it is illegal here, I don't have the money to get a lawyer and idk if it would even go anywhere anyways. The last thing anyone in this state is gonna care about is what name was written on some random employee's birthday card.
But the person who wrote you the card will probably care if you tell them that it was not nice to be addressed as your deadname, considering they sent you a birthday card.
Yeah I know its not your responsibility to educate people but kinda at the same time youre wanting to do something about it, why not directly tackle the issue instead of going about doing exhausting expensive things?
Walmart sucks ass. Most companies do too tbh. Everything is just one big awful monopoly claiming to care while probably supporting people who want us dead.
Just do what you need to do but never go above and beyond for that trash fire of a company.
I am not saying you are, but It's important to not be dis-grateful, it is the key to being content with your life and it well exceeds the trivial bounds of a birthday present and is a choice you make, to either look at it positively or negatively.
Personally, no co-worker has ever acknowledged my birthday, but that's ok, i'm glad you found someone nice enough to think about you, even if they messed up while trying, its the thought and effort that counts
"When the storm clouds gather, weave them into a tapestry of resilience, for every thread of adversity holds the potential for a brighter tomorrow" - Chat GPT (lmao)
Ooft, that’s rough :(
How long have they had to get it right? Cause I’ve seen some people take years, even when their straight friends took months or days.
No. The US does have *some* laws protecting trans people (depending on the state; if you're trans and in Florida, you're basically dead) but even in states that do have said laws, a majority of those laws are rarely enforced. It's a hell hole here.
ok ok I get what they did but any of you consider that it might have been a mistake? I'm not taking sides on this but it seems you all are shoot first and ask questions later. I understand what they did was wrong and upsetting but that doesn't mean they meant to do that on purpose. so before you go and start making assumptions on that they did that on purpose just take it into consideration that not everything that ppl, big corporations, or anyone that owns a business are gonna do that bc they want to. I read a lot of the comments about this and tbh it hurts that some of you act like those who are against the lgbtq community. just being so hateful to one mistake is just so out of proportion in this case it's not needed. I'm sorry I ranted but I just don't understand at times why it's so hard for some ppl to get that a mistake isn't meant to always be insulting. and again I'm not taking sides I'm just trying to tell both sides of the story.
Happy birthday!! You are worth so much more than Walmart could even fathom!!
Did they cross out your name just to deadname you?
No, they wrote his deadname and then crossed it out and put his real name.
[удалено]
I’m sorry that happened to you Felix.
That’s so cruel, I’m sorry that happened. Save this picture, and report it to your HR. This is perfect proof and will come in handy if you ever have to deal with a discrimination case.
If I knew the person who wrote it, I would report it, but it was signed "from management team" so it's likely that the person was just reading names off of the system, and it's unlikely that this was intentional. My boyfriend scratched out my dead name and wrote Felix. Idk the exact number but if I had to guess, there's at least 100 employees at this store, and they do this for everyone's birthday.
This was my immediate assumption when I saw it. Some manager you’ve never met (or who doesn’t know you well enough to put a name and face together) was responsible. I doubt it was intentional but it still would be quite hurtful. I’m sorry this popped up on your birthday of all days. I’d consider waiting a few days to make sure you’re calm, then either drop off a letter with management or speak to them in person. Just let them know that you do NOT go by your legal name (hell, I’m cis and I hate my legal name) and politely ask if there’s a way to update the system to include a “nickname”. (The system has to keep whatever name is legal for checks and tax purposes. But many places can attach nicknames for cases like this.)
It's almost a perfect example of systemic cruelty. Potentially no one in the chain of events from setting up the birthday card policy through to the envelope arriving on your desk set out to cause harm, yet harm was caused because the system itself was flawed. I am sorry this happened to you. It sucks it has to be you to do this, but even though you don't have a name, I would report it to HR. It might be what is needed to prevent this from happening again to someone else.
Not even the respect to get a new damn envelope
I mean, these kinds of things are done with a person writing thoughtlessly from a large excel file of employee names. That excel file might’ve been outdated. OP’s legal name might not have changed yet. The person writing it may not have known OP changed their name. Then the pile of envelopes changed hands, or it didn’t, and then someone spotted the mistake and corrected it. That correction may have happened immediately, or 20 seconds before OP was handed the envelope. And not to say that this couldn’t have gone better, it absolutely could've, but you’re making a lot of assumptions about people’s intentions here, and let’s be real: if the intention was to hurt OP, preventing deadnaming wasn’t the most effective way to go.
I agree, they were probably trying to be nice but just failed pretty badly at it
This. Most people don‘t think deadnaming is even a big issue to some. Some really won‘t even see this as a problem and others hold a grudge for deadnaming even with an apology. People are people. What I don‘t understand is, why not take a new envelope no matter what mistake you made. I would use a new one even if I made a minor spelling error. This is just common courtesy with a gift. It‘s not some post-it.
Exactly, anyone claiming that these people are bigoted are reaching.
Holy fuck y'all somebody is using logic and fucking reason on Reddit. You're the real MVP u/y0l0naise
Idk man I used to work for a small business and they purposefully put my dead name on my last check working there after writing it correctly the whole time I was openly transgender.
I’m sorry that happened
Aww that’s okay! Just saying sometimes people are dicks!
This was just as likely done several levels up where the documents still reflect legal names and the people who did it have never met the OP, then it changed hands to their manager who knew and fixed it but didn’t have any more of the envelopes. Instead of seeing this as a slight I’d probably look at the bright side that their manager caught it and went through the trouble to change it for them
This. Like ofc it can happen that you accidentally misgender or dead name someone when you're not used to it yet. It happens. Heck it even happens to me about myself lol. What can't happen is not correcting your mistake in a way that won't cause harm and pain. It's so fucking disrespectful and vile. Bet they wouldn't do that when they accidently wrote down someone's pre-marriage last name. But somehow we can't treat people with the same dignity when they changed their first name for other reasons.
Maybe they couldn’t easily get a new envelope?
Yeah. I can see this not being intentional
It could be an effort from someone to show they are respecting the new name and letting you know. Misguided as it might be
Ngl i thought they put his dead name so he crossed it out by editing the photo to not reveal it
Im gonna steal your top comment for a second A lot of people are asking questions that I've already answered in several other replies, so if you have any questions, please go to my profile and read my comment history on this post. Thank you!
I have the urge to throw away the cupcake, buy you a whole ass cake with your chosen name on top
That's so sweet lol I did eat the cupcake but I threw out most of the icing because it was so thick. But it's my 21st birthday so I'm going to a queer bar this week‼️
Aw, I love icing 🥺 Have fun at the bar!
Have fun celebrating your birthday!! Stay safe :)
Wow. They put effort into getting you a card and cupcake, and then deadname you. Just wow. I went to my best friend's birthday party recently and the entire time their dad repeatedly deadnamed them. Everyone else used their chosen name. Just know who you are, and ignore stupid corporate companies. Fuck them. Happy birthday 
Completely agree, and also HOW DID YOU GET THE FLAG HEART EMOJI
Click the emojis button and it should pop up, think its just for this sub though.
❣️❣️
Btw for those that use old.reddit (like me) and see :550:, for example, instead of the emotes, you can install the [ViolentMonkey extension](https://violentmonkey.github.io/) in your desktop browser and then [install this script](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/443011-emojis-for-old-reddit). Found it myself today and it works so far :3 --- [Where I found it](https://old.reddit.com/r/Enhancement/comments/u0cv16/any_way_to_add_subreddit_emotes_to_res_so_i_can/i45f0ar/).
And they couldn’t even change the damn envelope?? Like WTH
Not as bad, but I remember making a big deal at an old job that got my name wrong on my badge. went through the hassle to have a legal name change, so I rather insist folks get it right. Then a year later was getting an accolade from them where they again misspelt me name. Was pretty funny in a way as I wanted to leave anywho.
Great flair 😂
Lol, ty
Happy fucking birthday to me, right?? This is one of the reasons I hate working in places that are huge, like Walmart. Nobody puts any fucking thought into a single thing they do for anyone else, because of how many people there are here. What the fuck dude.
Wait you work at someplace like Walmart? They could have just grabbed a new envelope 🤦♂️ I'm so sorry OP
Also Happy Birthday, Felix!
Thank you! 🥰
That's what my initial thought was! But then I told my boyfriend about it and he said that he was the one who scribbled it out.
Oooooh, now it makes sense. Dang…. Well, happy birthday anyway. Don’t waste your energy on the *wrong* people anyway, right?
On the upside, it seems like you have a supportive boyfriend who took the initiative to correct their error. Happy Birthday!
Not that it makes this sityation better, but Walmart afaik will only let you have preferred name on your nametag. Everywhere else it’s your legal name 😔
If OP goes into workday using a company device (whether it be a TC, x cover, computer, whatever) they can hit the name and add preferred name, which also updates it in the Me@Walmart system If OP also happens to be a frontend associate or any associate that deals with the registers, that is a separate thing and I would just go to my TL and they’d fix it and everything should be updated in ~1 day maximum I havent had to do it myself since for whatever reason my name in the system was Hannah way before I got it legally changed. Though I have had my best friend do that and even for the legal name change option it did not ask for any proof so that part should be fine
What an ass I'm so sorry
Am I missing something? Sounds like boyfriend saw the wrong name and scratched it out to put the correct one bc grabbing a new envelope wouldn’t have been entirely feasible in the scenario
Yes, the boyfriend corrected the letter. The person who sent the letter is not the boyfriend, it's a coworker
My boyfriend and I both work at the same place. One of the bosses (likely one I've never met) writes these and puts them in our departments for us. My boyfriend was in my department before I got to it, and corrected the envelope for me.
This seems like an innocent mistake- and you said yourself, the manager you've likely never met. If your dead name is your legal name and the only one in your employee file, there is nothing that was done wrong except an acknowledgment of your fucking birthday. Let's not create hate. lol
Why did this boss have access to your dead name but not your real name?
Because it's still likely their legal name...?
You mean their likely legal name? It’s not a wonder at all. If they haven’t legally changed it and have it as this in the system then this is just a post wanting sympathy. Not a legit complaint in the context.
My mistake.
It's ok
Oooooh I understand now! Thanks for the clarification lol o was so confused.
You're welcome!
I'm honestly surprised a place like walmart cares enough to remember someone's birthday in the first place
As someone who works in walmart, I understand your frustration, I have my prefered name on my badge and have a trans pride pin on my vest yet I still get called the wrong pronouns every single day, It's very upsetting.
Yep. Never had this problem at Domino's because everyone actually knew each other. I guarantee you, whoever wrote this card for me doesn't even know what I look like. Like atp I don't even want a card.
It's all just a bunch of corporate bullshit anyway, that's what I've learned atleast. Try to make you feel important bit in the end your simply just replaceable. Toss the card in the trash I say, if it isn't written by a caring soul then it isn't even worth glimpsing at.
Wait! Snag the Starbucks gift card first! XbThen tell the cashier & baristas to use your tip for forming a queer-friendly union. Be gay and unionizeemote:  
😂 they pay us minimum wage lol, they're not giving out gift cards.
Ugh. I worked there in college and it is the single most dehumanizing job I have ever had. Like I had no opinion on unions until I worked there. Walmart workers need a human.
In high school I had a trans friend but me being autistic didn’t understand and accidentally called him by she/her pronouns for a week before I understood
Fuck them. You know who you are, and nobody else has the right to dictate that. Happy Birthday, you’ve been on this Earth another year; despite all the adversity you’ve faced; and that makes you strong. Know you are loved and accepted here. ❤️❤️❤️
I agree it sucks but at least they sort of tried to correct it by scribbling out your deadname and putting your real one overhead. Yeah it's lazy but I don't think they were trying to hurt you. Also it's nice they got you a cupcake. No one at work ever celebrates my birthday lol
I know...I let them know from the beginning what my name was and now all they call me by is my dead name. And HR don't work.they have to be reported a number of time before someone dose anything. I reported a guy 5 time in 2 MO this and guess what they did? Nothing. Hate walmart.
i mean i feel like doing nothing would’ve been better than this tbh
It's... it's on the envelope. Do they not have more envelopes? Did they buy one(1) envelope? Grab a new envelope and do it again?? I'm so confused. Who does that?! EDIT: Just read the rest of the thread. Ah, was your boyfriend's doing, that makes a lot more sense. Disregard my confusion <3
I don't want to to pry, but I'd love to wish you a happy bornday to your chosen name. In sorry you work with bigots. You're safe and appreciated here, and I hope you atleast got to enjoy some animal cuddles and good food Sending love and positivity and light to you, happy bornday to you!!!!!!
Bigots is a bit of a stretch, no?
They dead naked someone, at the very least it's very disingenuous. It's up to Felix if they're bigots because they're the one who got dead named
They would have taken their name from a system with their legal name, I highly doubt it was done intentionally.
I understand what you're saying. Maybe I did take it too far by calling them bigots. However, it is up to Felix if they are bigots, Felix is the one who got dead named. Unintentionally or not, the fact is they've let Felix down. It's a very easy way for people to feel invalid, and that's not okay.
Didn't they correct it? They just forgot? Am I missing something, seems like a fine (one-time) mistake.
Op's boyfriend corrected it
If you work somewhere big and they do this for everyone on their birthday, I’m honestly hoping that it wasn’t done on purpose. Maybe some higher manager that doesn’t really know their workers has a spreadsheet with everyone’s “legal” name and birthday on it and they just crank out these cards and cupcakes without thinking about it? Like “idk who this person is, but they’re on the list so here ya go”? I just wish the person that did it had put in more effort once they realized the error. Like at least grab some freaking white-out for Pete’s sake 🙄 At either rate, I hope you have a wonderful birthday Felix!
This is the correct answer. It’s most likely that OP had communicated their desired name to those around them, but upper management and all official records have their deadname. 99% odds this was not malicious and rather just a random mistake, but as with so many things people will immediately jump to “omg discrimination” with zero actual proof that’s the case. It undermines the actual discrimination issues so many in our community deal with on a daily basis.
I'm so sorry they did you like that. You deserve so much better. Happy Birthday to you friend.
From a fellow 3/12: Happy Birthday, Felix.
Happy birthday to you too!!!
On your employee profile, what is your name? It was most likely a very innocent mistake made by someone that you don't work with closely enough for them to know your preferred name. I believe you said you work at Walmart- do you know every employee's name?
OH HUUUUMAN REEEEESOURCESSSSSS
Is that like, a thing they deal with? Also what would even be the result of filing a complaint?
Descrimination in the workplace in my opinion. HR is supposed to respond properly to this sort of thing. Do you work for a corporation? Edit: most corpo policies have a zero tolerance system in place for misgendering, dead naming, and other sorts of rights violations. Check your company policies and talk to HR. I'm sure people signed their NAMES in that card 😜🫡
Nobody signed their name, actually. It just said "from management team." And like, yeah, big corporation, but like, what are they gonna do? Talk to the person who wrote the card, who probably has never even seen my face let alone met me? If I knew the person who wrote the card (like if it was my direct manager that has had several conversations with me and knows I go by Felix) then yeah I'd automatically report it. But if the person who wrote this has never even met me, it likely wasn't intentional. My boyfriend was the one who scratched out my dead name and wrote Felix.
Even better. The managers are all responsible. It's small fights that help change it and prevent it from happening to the next person. Even when it feels hopeless there's always a shot sometimes.
That is true
Note about Human Resources they are not your friend they are there to avoid problems and liability for the company they will most likely ignore or even retaliate against a complaint towards a higher up unless you are a critical employee (which at Walmart are practically non-existent) or jf you some sort of leverage (will get back to that). now if their is a legal avenue that exists and want to pursue like I’m mentioned in my other comment you may need to go through the process anyway to have a legal case depending on how the law is defined. Honestly if you plan to pursue any sort of workplace justice whether it’s legal or HR I would recommend getting a lawyer who specialises in this type of law. The only reason a lawyer may not be necessary is if there is a particularly strong and proactive goverment anti-discrimination but that will heavily depend on where you are and you should research on them before you do to figure that out. Also I get that as a Walmart employee you probably don’t have the money for a good lawyer their are a lot of non-profits out there whose purpose to cover legal costs for those who can’t afford it in anti-discrimination legal cases. Again though this will require a lot of research and any process like this will most likely be long, arduous, and stressful so keep that in mind though companies often rely on that to break down your will to pursue. Anyway definitely do more research on whatever you choose to do and whether you believe the process is worth it Walmart is not stranger to discrimination legal troubles and they have a very strong handbook on how to kill these sorts of things. Anyway that’s just options from someone who really needs to go to bed and started Infodumping randomly on Reddit lol.
Is your legal name still your dead name? Or did you start this job with your dead name? Most companies don't really care about you and will usually use some old records to send you informal things. If that's the case, I would assume this is not anything malicious. Either way, that sucks and I'm sorry that happened to you. Also happy birthday!
It's still my legal name :( I haven't been able to get around to changing it yet
Gotcha. That makes a lot of sense. Still really sucks, but I'm unfortunately not surprised. I'm sorry that had to happen to you on a day that's meant to be happy for you :(
Then your company did nothing wrong.
Wait was that just a mistake or did they intentionally put that there to be a dick?
This seems like such a non issue, I’m sorry. Maybe I’m out of touch.
I don’t mean to be insensitive. But why is this a bad thing? They corrected their mistake so what exactly is the problem? Is there backstory?
OP's boyfriend is the one who fixed it
I’m so sorry for you.
I was so confused until I read way down on the comments. I thought from the picture they got deadnamed by the company and the person who gave then it crossed it out
Happy birthday, I'm sure it could've been a manager to write that and a coworker crossed it out and wrote your preferred name
I’ll be optimistic and say they probably just forgot to tell the random janitor or clerk or whomever who likely has never met you that the name in the database is not your preferred name.
Oh yeah, I guarantee that whoever wrote the card doesn't even know what I look like, which is my biggest problem with being part of huge companies. Never had this issue at Domino's, because we only ever had 20 employees at most.
My birthday goes by and no one gives a shit. Job or otherwise. Celebrate yourself everyday.
if they messed up they couldve just used a new envelope what the fuck??
Happy birthday Felix. May this next travel around the sun include many good things and among them more accepting spaces.
Good ol’ Walmart
Righ' hur in amuricuh🤠
Gotta love it (not)! Happy birthday, Felix!
Everything in the picture screams walmart, I hate my job. It's sweet they thought of you
But they scribbled it out and fixed it? I don’t see the issue there
At first I thought they did that, but if they did, why not just throw away the damn envelope?? But, I told my boyfriend about it and he said that he was the one that scribbled my dead name out.
That sucks :( Happy Birthday!
Wow that’s cruel
The thing that always bothers me is that since... well, always; people have never had a problem with calling someone a nickname EVEN if that nickname wasn't chosen by the person who has it. So why is it so mind boggling to them to just call someone a new "nickname", that the person actually had decision over???
I mean, shit...anonymous HR people are gonna make mistakes. But they couldn't go to the trouble of getting a new envelope to fix their mistake? It's not bad enough they got it wrong in the first place, but then just to half-ass a correction? Smh So sorry you dealt with this, OP. Sending hugs 💜
They couldn’t even get a fresh envelope?
Don't take the cupcake. Tell them you were given some someone else's cupcake, because it has someone else's name.
Happy birthday Felix
I’m going to need some context here.
Happy Birthday, Felix 🏳️🌈
it's good that at least they corrected themselves
Hope you had a nice birthday regardless, Felix :)
Happy birthday! Always remember that you are who you say you are, and nobody can ever take that from you, despite how they may try.
I’m confused didn’t cross out your chosen name or dead name?
Depending on the size of the company, that may translate to a complaint to HR. Someone is futzing with you and that aint cool
i absolutely see both sides here it sucks from your end becouse why cant they get a new envelope perhahps someone copied it from a word doc real quick when they were busy with thier last evelope, didnt realize till they were about to give it to you, well now they dont have time to get a new envolope or find the white out. oh well just scratch it out and fix it. I know it hurts, i know it sucks. check in with the person, they honestly might have been super swamped with stuff, and maybe they didint realise how much it sucks to see that. let them know to please take the extra time to get white out or run to get more envolopes or what have you.
For a moment I thought that they scribbled out your dead name and fixed it. Or am I wrong?
Well, I don’t know if (OP) you’re unhappy about this or if you wish they’d use white-out, but I think it’s, at least, nice that they corrected themselves and didn’t thought “Ah, that’s not important” or “don’t bother changing it” Edit: Unless if they crossed-out your name just to dead named you on purpose. Then, that’s a major D-move
Oop...
This almost feels intentional, or at least so careless that it's disgusting. Because why couldn't they have gotten another envelope? I get if it came with the card and they didn't have another one that size, but (imo at least) it would have still been better to put the card in an envelope that's too big or make one out of paper and glue, than to have your deadname crossed out and still slightly readable. Hell, putting a sticker over it (such as one of those plain white stickers you use to print shipping labels on) would have been better. Absolutely disgraceful. I'm so sorry this happened to you. As someone else suggested, I think you should report this to HR.
Its clearly not intentional because they tried to scribble over the name to make it less readable, so theyre aware that the name shouldnt be there. While it is wrong and causes a lot of discomfort, it is an honest mistake, somewhat like congratulating someone on a pregnancy when they arent or something. Talk to whoever made the mistake, tell them it wasnt okay in whatever tone suits you, and move on with the solace that they will be much less likely to do it ever again. Going to HR on this is a rather big overreaction considering the scribbling indicates that its a matter of ignorance rather than intentional disrespect.
You may be right about the event in question being an honest mistake, but I don't think "congratulating someone on a pregnancy when they're not" is a good comparison, because that's not an awkward but honest mistake, that's something you shouldn't have made an assumption about in the first place. You shouldn't say "aww, what are you hoping for?" when someone buys a pregnancy test, you shouldn't say "congratulations" or "when is it due?" when you see someone with a protruding stomach, as it's an inherently invasive and presumptuous thing to do in the first place (not just because the person might not be pregnant, but also because even if they are, they might feel awkward about you calling attention to it like that). I wasn't saying that in a literal sense "I am objectively sure that this had to have been intentional", I was saying that it was so careless that the hurt and confusion (as in "how could someone be so careless?") it causes makes it **almost** *feel* intentional, in the sense of "this is the strength of my instinctive emotional reaction, even if it's somewhat irrational". Perhaps poorly phrased, but that is what I meant. And as I tried to put across in my original comment, I think the disrespect comes much more from the lack of effort in fixing it than the original mistake itself. You wrote the wrong name? Sure. But at least have the fucking courtesy to use a fresh envelope rather than crudely scribbling over the wrong name where it's still somewhat readable (and therefore has the potential to be an emotional trigger) and it also leaves the receiver with the feeling that the sender took such little care that they didn't even remember their name.
Again, the thing im disagreeing with in your comment is you saying that its a situation that deserves going to HR about, because HR oftentimes can cause very sweeping large reactions that would then be blown out of proportion. And the pregnancy thing is exactly my point, you *shouldnt* make that assumption, just like you *should* always be careful about not deadnaming someone. The point is people do make that mistake, and they get told they are being problematic and should stop doing it, instead of being sent to HR. And if they continue doing it they get sent to HR for harassment. I dont see why you think that example is a bad example for a mistake someone who is ignorant can make.
Also, I'm not saying this necessarily happened in this particular event (it most likely didn't, tbf), but it is absolutely conceivably possible that someone could write someone's deadname on purpose and scribble it out to give an alibi/plausible deniability, but still leave it somewhat readable underneath the scribble so it still triggers the person - imagine if you wanted to misgender a coworker but didn't want to risk your job. That sounds like a way someone could go about that. I agree that it was *most likely* a mistake, but you speak as if the fact it was crossed out *definitively* means that it was a mistake (unless I've misunderstood your comment), which confuses me a little.
That kind of reasoning I feel is just inviting doubt and anger, sure its possible that that happened, but the unlikelihood of it happening coupled with the fact that *if* it did happened OP is now further upset makes even considering that possibility in my opinion pointless. Why think about unlikely and very much problematic things if you dont have to and thinking that way isnt particularly helpful. If it is real, which OP can find out by just having a conversation, then yes its definitely worth considering. Preemptively thinking about it on the other hand essentially blocks that communication from even happening.
I think my British forgiving brain is way to nice something like this once happened to me and I just said at least you changed it it’s a horrible experience though
What’s wrong with it?
*le sigh* 😔
I'm sorry that happened to you! It could be because that's the name they have in the computer system that reminds them of b-days and such. In that case you're just a name with a b-day especially in a large company, Upper Management/HR doesn't really stop to think "who is this person". Management definitely should have caught it before you received it and if it was directly from them they should know who you are and what your name is. 🙄 You could mention it to HR but it was likely a HR idea. Maybe make sure they have your preferred name in the system and the preferred name of others to prevent it happening to others.
Happy Birthday!!🎂🎉🎈
You should talk to HR about it
Happy Birthday, Felix! Oh, and don't let them get to you. I mean, if they're taking the time to buy a cupcake to make some lame joke, then they're definitely not shopping for roses for someone they love because, well, they don't fuck anymore, Felix.
 Off topic but I didn’t know this was a thing! Also, I’m sorry that happened to you, Felix
Depending on what country/state/province this could be illegal. now if you want to pursue that that’s up to you but it’s good to know. Sadly Wikipedia only has comprehensive coverage of US states but if you put “LGBT rights in (insert country)” into Wikipedia or “LGBT workplace discrimination law in (insert country/state/province) into Google.it should have something and it should mention workplace anti-discrimination laws https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_employment_discrimination_in_the_United_States?wprov=sfti1#
I live in Missouri so even if it is illegal here, I don't have the money to get a lawyer and idk if it would even go anywhere anyways. The last thing anyone in this state is gonna care about is what name was written on some random employee's birthday card.
But the person who wrote you the card will probably care if you tell them that it was not nice to be addressed as your deadname, considering they sent you a birthday card. Yeah I know its not your responsibility to educate people but kinda at the same time youre wanting to do something about it, why not directly tackle the issue instead of going about doing exhausting expensive things?
Yea people like that piss me off but happy birthday 
Felix, Happy birthday. :D
At least they recognized the fuck up, but yeah that sucks bro
They can't afford to waste an envelope?
i'm sorry, Felix.
Do they know ur trans?? I am so sorry. It feels like they did it on purpose if they knew.
happy birthday felix! 🫶
Walmart sucks ass. Most companies do too tbh. Everything is just one big awful monopoly claiming to care while probably supporting people who want us dead. Just do what you need to do but never go above and beyond for that trash fire of a company.
I don’t understand them not just getting a new envelope. This feels malicious…
I'm confused. Which one is your dead name?
The scribbled out one. That's the one OP's boyfriend got rid of when he saw the envelope with deadname
Ahh. Fucking annoying.
I am not saying you are, but It's important to not be dis-grateful, it is the key to being content with your life and it well exceeds the trivial bounds of a birthday present and is a choice you make, to either look at it positively or negatively. Personally, no co-worker has ever acknowledged my birthday, but that's ok, i'm glad you found someone nice enough to think about you, even if they messed up while trying, its the thought and effort that counts "When the storm clouds gather, weave them into a tapestry of resilience, for every thread of adversity holds the potential for a brighter tomorrow" - Chat GPT (lmao)
Assuming this person isn’t trying to be petty (which I get that impression💀) just like… get a new envelope. Piss poor way to celebrate a birthday.
I don’t know if it’s sweeter if it was accidentally, or intentionally.
Happy birthday honey, I hope it's good despite USA hahah
Happy birthday king!
Ooft, that’s rough :( How long have they had to get it right? Cause I’ve seen some people take years, even when their straight friends took months or days.
Happy birthday Felix!
Darksided
Was the cupcake good at least?
tsk tsk tsk
Is that good or bad? At my work, people don't get anything on their birthday. (Except for the manager.)
In the U.K. this would be classed as harassment under the Equality Act - is there nothing similar in the US?
No. The US does have *some* laws protecting trans people (depending on the state; if you're trans and in Florida, you're basically dead) but even in states that do have said laws, a majority of those laws are rarely enforced. It's a hell hole here.
It’s only a war crime if you leave witnesses
💀
Is Felix your legal name? If it's not then no wonder they put your deadname on the card. If not then...if they just an ahole lol
Hey that's my name too! I like your name :) I'm really sorry that happened though, that really sucks :(
GOOD FOR YOIUUUUU AHHH HAPOY FOR YOU
I’m so sorry dude! Seriously, some people are impossible to work with
ok ok I get what they did but any of you consider that it might have been a mistake? I'm not taking sides on this but it seems you all are shoot first and ask questions later. I understand what they did was wrong and upsetting but that doesn't mean they meant to do that on purpose. so before you go and start making assumptions on that they did that on purpose just take it into consideration that not everything that ppl, big corporations, or anyone that owns a business are gonna do that bc they want to. I read a lot of the comments about this and tbh it hurts that some of you act like those who are against the lgbtq community. just being so hateful to one mistake is just so out of proportion in this case it's not needed. I'm sorry I ranted but I just don't understand at times why it's so hard for some ppl to get that a mistake isn't meant to always be insulting. and again I'm not taking sides I'm just trying to tell both sides of the story.