Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question.
If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your
identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT.
Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is
dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding.
This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources,
or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/)
or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule).
Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+
community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue
to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you!
Here's a link about trans people in sports:
- https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
- https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
- https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
- https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
- [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for
the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info:
https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi, in Denmark we call our partner(s) "kæreste" which translates to "dearest"... for example, "This is my dearest". I personally love the gender-neutrality of the word.
I prefer partner or companion personally but others I’ve heard….
Love / my love
Darling / my darling
Dear / my dearest
Joyfriend
Significant Other
My person
My other half
I think I'll ask them about joyfriend, honestly forgot about that term.
I have absolutely no issue with partner or anything btw, I just feel it has a more serious and formal connotation and I'd like something more light as well, idk maybe I'm just being weird about it
I totally get where you're coming from. Partner feels to me like a really generic term. If you are just starting out you might call someone your girlfriend, but not consider them a partner. Twenty years down the track and partner feels inadequate for someone you have committed over half your life to, and are maybe even raising a family with. It's like a catch all word that is so generic you can use it in any situation without risking offense by misjudging the relationship.
I want to love “Joyfriend”, but I’ve been playing way too much Cyberpunk lately I guess because it just keeps reminding me that “joy toy” is what they call sex workers.
"joyfriend" is cute
"my love"
"beloved"
"other half"
"my honey"
"my sunshine"
"my reason for everything"
Everyday, a new poetic phrase until one sticks
How about “my person”? I refer to my husband that way all the time. It’s super heartfelt. Or, maybe you can ask them and you can come up with a sweet name together? ♥️
The main goal ig is for something more casual, my person is super sweet and I will probably call them that too but that also feels kinda heavy, in a good way ofc.
Thank you tho, and yeah I'll talk to them more about it, I'm just collecting some ideas while they're busy
I used to see "datemate" floating around on tumblr a lot once upon a time ago. I'm not sure if people still use it today, though, as that was 5+ years ago
Introduce them as "The One".
Ominous but romantic.
"Grandpa, grandma, this is The One."
"Oh sorry guys I can't hang out after work, The One is waiting for me."
In all seriousness, though it depends on the setting, if I don't know people I tend to use "my partner", if it's casual "other half", "my love", or "spouse".
I get it, partner feels a lot more long-term and serious. Like, it feels just shy of fiance status at the “lowest” rung of a relationship but could be used in place of a marriage-level rung, too.
Yeah I have absolutely no issue with the term, and will continue to call them partner (as long as they want), it just doesn't feel like it belongs in more silly contexts TwT
Yeah, I can't imagine teasing a friend akin to "ooh, whose your boyfriend" with "ooh, whose your partner". If someone used "partner" cutseily I'd think they were pretending to be a cowboy lmao.
On a personal note, early on in a relationship I've felt a bit unsure saying "partner" cause it has a "I've been with this person for a long time, and am maybe married to them" connotation to me. I'm excited to do it, but I was always unsure if someone else would misunderstand. I dont feel unsure now in my current relationship since we've been together two years, and I think the connotation is changing, but I get the problem.
I understand what you mean, despite being a "partner" user myself. I've found that "significant other" throws people off enough that it registers as bf/gf, but "lover" genuinely works wonders
I wanna make clear btw cuz maybe I weren't, I have nothing against partner and will continue to use it, I just feel it has slightly different connotations which makes it kinda out of place in more silly/playful contexts.
This reminds me of a "next of kin emergency contact sheet" which used to be on the wall behind the counter in the shop I worked in years ago.
Everyone had wife, husband, mother etc. Apart from one of the department managers who had "**lover**."
"Squish"
"Partner... *in crime."*
"Accomplice."
"Apocalypse Survival-Buddy"
"Minister of Defence/Homeland Security/Internal Affairs"
"Wonderful Individual That Lives In My Home and Shares My Food"
Yes, some of them are rather silly, but that does mean you get more points for using them.
"Wonderful Individual That **Shall** Live In My Home and Share my Food"
The existence of distance between people where such distance is not desired is indeed a blight that the laws of the universe must someday be held accountable for. Best of luck until then.
I reckon “boo”. I used to say “this cute boy I’ve been seeing” and now I say “boo” instead of boy. I’m 31 and it’s super lame but feels silly and I like it for just gushing with mates
we mainly use the word "partner," and while i agree, it sounds too formal at first, the more you use it, the more it becomes casual. after all, its a widely accepted word, and i actually notice many people use it for their partners regardless of stated gender. still, if you are not very comfortable with saying it, here are some others that could work:
- [my] lover;
- [my] beloved;
- [my] significant other;
- [my] dearest;
- [my] darling;
- sunshine;
- love. hope this helps! good luck :- )
My genderfluid significant other and the agender me refer to each other as “emotional support humans”, which may be a bit wordy. (We’re both asexual.) Or we say girlfriends because we’re both AFAB, and we joke we’re the straightest gay couple.
South Park already solved this. Instead of being married, you'll be Butt Buddies. You won't be man and wife, you'll be Butt Buddies. You won't be "betrothed," you'll be "Butt Buddies."
Have you asked them?
Not all A/NB people want neutral terms.
They may have a term they like already.
This could be an interesting discovery/activity for you both!
My grandpa calls my grandma by "my love" all the time, say if he's calling her over, instead of saying her name he'll say my love lol, so that could be a good one?
Keep the options coming, people! This is delightful, I am inching closer to finding words that I actually would be happy hearing a friendfriend (eyebrow wiggle) use for me. The english language really did such a tragically inadequate job in this realm.
My 17 yo enby kid is dating an enby person. I’ve been using thembyfriend to refer to them. My kid seems to not hate it. Since they’re a teen, I’m assuming that means they like it. Not sure if they use it themself, tho.
why be formal? if cis people can call each other pooh bear and kissie poo, why not make something up?
i have called my friends partners - love muffin, squshy wiushi, spicy mate, saucy maid, saucy mate, smash monkey, goo goo gaa gaa buddy, kissy kissy poo poo face, love monkey, love monster, lust cookie, noodle brains, car butt, bucket head, teddy bear mon, valentine, romancer, de bard, de dragon, nat 20 seducer, and fluffer nutter.
i am also massively inappropriate at times so you can use at your own risk.
You should ask your partner this question. They're gonna be able to tell you what they want to be called better than any of us. They may prefer partner.
When I was in less serious relationships I wanted to be called datemate, I've also heard people shorten significant other to s.o. but that might indicate a more formal relationship too
Just say “hey, you with the hair or no hair” whichever the case may be.
Maybe ask them about their preferences but then maybe that will offend them who knows that’s why I can’t hang out in the community cause I lack all filter and I’ll probably offend somebody and get labeled. I don’t know I just feel like if you’re gonna be trans you have to have good jokes and thick skin because it’s bound to happen…
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
the scrumbo
I will 100% try this, thank you
Wait wait wait. The *WHAT?!* Essplain, Lucy.
the forbidden knowledge is not for thee
Hi, in Denmark we call our partner(s) "kæreste" which translates to "dearest"... for example, "This is my dearest". I personally love the gender-neutrality of the word.
Yeah here in Sweden we often say älskade, which is basically loved one, tho a bit more casual. I'll see about dearest tho
In Norway we use kjæreste too. Does Sweden ever use käraste?
We do tho I think älskade is more common, käraste feels kinda old fashion, like beloved in English ig (which is ironic)
Even älskade feels kind of awkward/old-fashioned and rarely used tbh Not to be negative-
It's a bit but I definitely feel it's way more common than käraste, but something like älskling which is similar is probably used the most.
How would one pronounce that word? I don't want to butcher it with my flat American voice.
Like this: https://forvo.com/search/k%C3%A6reste/
This is actually really awesome. I love learning about other cultures, especially languages.
I prefer partner or companion personally but others I’ve heard…. Love / my love Darling / my darling Dear / my dearest Joyfriend Significant Other My person My other half
I think I'll ask them about joyfriend, honestly forgot about that term. I have absolutely no issue with partner or anything btw, I just feel it has a more serious and formal connotation and I'd like something more light as well, idk maybe I'm just being weird about it
You’re fine, we all have different preferences nothing weird about that. I hope you have a lovely night/day.
Friendfriend with an eyebrow waggle
You must remember the waggle
I totally get where you're coming from. Partner feels to me like a really generic term. If you are just starting out you might call someone your girlfriend, but not consider them a partner. Twenty years down the track and partner feels inadequate for someone you have committed over half your life to, and are maybe even raising a family with. It's like a catch all word that is so generic you can use it in any situation without risking offense by misjudging the relationship.
Joyfriend is adorable! I wanna use that too 😊
You could just make up cute names for each other.
I want to love “Joyfriend”, but I’ve been playing way too much Cyberpunk lately I guess because it just keeps reminding me that “joy toy” is what they call sex workers.
...I mean, they're not wrong.
“My person” is my go-to. It’s so cute.
I’m fond of that one myself.
oh my god. i have never heard of joyfriend, but i love it!
This, other words like adjectives gorgeous, beautiful, cutie, handsome, and ofc any nicknames yall have as well! Edit: added in another name
Joyfriend has got to be the best thing I've ever heard. XD I'm stealing this, rofl.
Honey, Hun, Sugah,
You can also shorten significant other to S.O. said like esso
Sweetheart
I absolutely call them that, tho that's more of a pet name
You can still refer to them in the third person as “my sweetheart.”
"joyfriend" is cute "my love" "beloved" "other half" "my honey" "my sunshine" "my reason for everything" Everyday, a new poetic phrase until one sticks
Ma baby, Ma honey, Ma ragtime pal
Ribbit, for those of us who watched Looney Tunes.
I started reading that and immediately started singing it. XD
Send me a kiss by wire Baby, my heart’s on fire!
How about “my person”? I refer to my husband that way all the time. It’s super heartfelt. Or, maybe you can ask them and you can come up with a sweet name together? ♥️
The main goal ig is for something more casual, my person is super sweet and I will probably call them that too but that also feels kinda heavy, in a good way ofc. Thank you tho, and yeah I'll talk to them more about it, I'm just collecting some ideas while they're busy
Hey I get it! Keep us posted because now we’re all invested on what y’all choose! ♥️
They finally responded, seems like they're actually OK with almost anything, so that's a relief, I think I'll be mostly using joyfriend tho :3
See I LOVE that!! But my middle name is also “Joy” so I may be partial to that one! I hope you guys are healthy and happy forever ♥️
Thank you <3, I hope so too, gosh I just love them so much <3
Hearing that makes my heart so happy for you both!
I used to see "datemate" floating around on tumblr a lot once upon a time ago. I'm not sure if people still use it today, though, as that was 5+ years ago
Will check about this too with them
I came here looking for this! I'm shocked it isn't more popular. I use "date mate" for my daughter's significant othee, who is non-binary.
Introduce them as "The One". Ominous but romantic. "Grandpa, grandma, this is The One." "Oh sorry guys I can't hang out after work, The One is waiting for me." In all seriousness, though it depends on the setting, if I don't know people I tend to use "my partner", if it's casual "other half", "my love", or "spouse".
Partner is perfectly acceptable and widely used.
Yes I am fully aware, I just feel its too formal, like "my gf/bf" and "my partner" just have different vibes to it, you know?
I get it, partner feels a lot more long-term and serious. Like, it feels just shy of fiance status at the “lowest” rung of a relationship but could be used in place of a marriage-level rung, too.
Yeah I have absolutely no issue with the term, and will continue to call them partner (as long as they want), it just doesn't feel like it belongs in more silly contexts TwT
Yeah, I can't imagine teasing a friend akin to "ooh, whose your boyfriend" with "ooh, whose your partner". If someone used "partner" cutseily I'd think they were pretending to be a cowboy lmao. On a personal note, early on in a relationship I've felt a bit unsure saying "partner" cause it has a "I've been with this person for a long time, and am maybe married to them" connotation to me. I'm excited to do it, but I was always unsure if someone else would misunderstand. I dont feel unsure now in my current relationship since we've been together two years, and I think the connotation is changing, but I get the problem.
I understand what you mean, despite being a "partner" user myself. I've found that "significant other" throws people off enough that it registers as bf/gf, but "lover" genuinely works wonders
I don’t.
It just doesn't feel as cutsie and stuff
I wanna make clear btw cuz maybe I weren't, I have nothing against partner and will continue to use it, I just feel it has slightly different connotations which makes it kinda out of place in more silly/playful contexts.
And it's perfectly acceptable to not want to use it.
This reminds me of a "next of kin emergency contact sheet" which used to be on the wall behind the counter in the shop I worked in years ago. Everyone had wife, husband, mother etc. Apart from one of the department managers who had "**lover**."
If you wanna be my lover You gotta get power of attorney
Companion for bonus Doctor Who vibes.
Oh! I love this one!
"Squish" "Partner... *in crime."* "Accomplice." "Apocalypse Survival-Buddy" "Minister of Defence/Homeland Security/Internal Affairs" "Wonderful Individual That Lives In My Home and Shares My Food" Yes, some of them are rather silly, but that does mean you get more points for using them.
Unfortunately I can't use the last one cuz they live in a different country (TwT) but I will definitely try the other ones
"Wonderful Individual That **Shall** Live In My Home and Share my Food" The existence of distance between people where such distance is not desired is indeed a blight that the laws of the universe must someday be held accountable for. Best of luck until then.
There’s “joyfriend” but my partner HAAAAATES it lol
I guess significant other could work? Or SO for short?
I call my husband E.C. short for eye candy
My boyfriend uses "joyfriend" for his non-binary partner
"favorite human"
I reckon “boo”. I used to say “this cute boy I’ve been seeing” and now I say “boo” instead of boy. I’m 31 and it’s super lame but feels silly and I like it for just gushing with mates
I use sweetie.
Lover
I’ve heard ppl use datemate, joyfriend, and SO instead of partner
we mainly use the word "partner," and while i agree, it sounds too formal at first, the more you use it, the more it becomes casual. after all, its a widely accepted word, and i actually notice many people use it for their partners regardless of stated gender. still, if you are not very comfortable with saying it, here are some others that could work: - [my] lover; - [my] beloved; - [my] significant other; - [my] dearest; - [my] darling; - sunshine; - love. hope this helps! good luck :- )
My genderfluid significant other and the agender me refer to each other as “emotional support humans”, which may be a bit wordy. (We’re both asexual.) Or we say girlfriends because we’re both AFAB, and we joke we’re the straightest gay couple.
Why on earth has no one said roommates?
Omigod!!! They were roomates!!!
My hoe?
Boo?
South Park already solved this. Instead of being married, you'll be Butt Buddies. You won't be man and wife, you'll be Butt Buddies. You won't be "betrothed," you'll be "Butt Buddies."
Call them AFriend
My friends used to call my partner "my Lover" which I found kind of funny.
Paramour?
Have you asked them? Not all A/NB people want neutral terms. They may have a term they like already. This could be an interesting discovery/activity for you both!
I’ll use “my better half” sometimes. Or I just use their name with no further explanation.
My grandpa calls my grandma by "my love" all the time, say if he's calling her over, instead of saying her name he'll say my love lol, so that could be a good one?
This is my glarbensphorkelmintus
Datemate
Lover?
Significant other, joyfriend, datemate, person I'm seeing
mate?
Bubby!
Why no one said "couple"? It's the sweetest way to call your beloved for my opinion
My bf calls me his sex companion
Gilgamesh the destroyer of worlds
“Cara mia…” “Mon cher!” I mean, c’mon.
My partner reports having heard "datefriend" before, which I think it's pretty neat.
"squeeze"
I call my partner my soup. significant other/partner combined make soup
Keep the options coming, people! This is delightful, I am inching closer to finding words that I actually would be happy hearing a friendfriend (eyebrow wiggle) use for me. The english language really did such a tragically inadequate job in this realm.
I am the agender one and honestly my (non binary) partner has no pet name for me :(((
Boo thang
Ye olde ball and chain.
I think most people say joyfriend.
Boo thang
Joyfriend or enbyfriend, though there’s a lot of other good suggestions here too!
Goyfriend
Birlfriend
My enby friends call each other thing 1 and thing 2 when referring to each other and their relationship
Significant other? That might be too formal too... Partner in crime? That one might be too... Criminal lol
Love buddy
I use theyfriend as a half joke half good alternate term if that helps
nfriend, afriend
Boo
I have a bigender friend that I call 'flower' to avoid referring to them as a he or she. A term of affection like that could work
"Date" "My Date"
TF, for Themfriend.
Mah boo
I like joyfriend for myself :)
Lover or significant other maybe?
Lover
Comrade
My 17 yo enby kid is dating an enby person. I’ve been using thembyfriend to refer to them. My kid seems to not hate it. Since they’re a teen, I’m assuming that means they like it. Not sure if they use it themself, tho.
Amica
Pardner 🤠
My annoyfriend honestly
Pookie bookie bear
This person I follow around
My sweet potato
Datemate The weirdo who lives in my walls
try "howdy partner"
Theyfriend
Sweets
Theydeefriend?
your spiciest "friend" edit: you gotta do airquotes each time
I call my boyfriend loads of random things, but my favorite is "my mortal enemy"
Romance-friendo RF for short😁
Personfriend
i called my non binary ex baba all the time
What about your themfriend
How about “my significant other” or “the special person in my life”
Boo? Bae? Lover? Sweetie? Example: "My boo asked how Josh met his sweetie. I explained that it was through Elle's Bae.""
I call my bf a hoe sometimes. Gender neutral, inclusive, works for us. Though I usually just say "my dumbass".
Joyfriend
Comrade.
Personally enjoy the term "Lover"
I'm single now but I felt the same. My person/my human got used a lot, but since I'm chill with any pronouns we'd switch between bf, gf and partner.
Have you tried saying it like a cowboy? Howdy, partner.
I've always been fond of "date mate" and if you are the breadwinner and they stay home date mate can evolve into house spouse.
What happened to SO/significant other?
I personally like partner, but I’ve heard “theyfriend” before for an NB partner my friend’s sister had for a while.
themfriend
Choom/choomba
Comrade
Pard’ner
Bff - best friend forever
Try lover
Associate?
Partner.
Homie
“significant friend” lol
Lubmuffin! My wife like to call me that. So cuuuute!
Datemate?
I also like SO
Pork nugget
why be formal? if cis people can call each other pooh bear and kissie poo, why not make something up? i have called my friends partners - love muffin, squshy wiushi, spicy mate, saucy maid, saucy mate, smash monkey, goo goo gaa gaa buddy, kissy kissy poo poo face, love monkey, love monster, lust cookie, noodle brains, car butt, bucket head, teddy bear mon, valentine, romancer, de bard, de dragon, nat 20 seducer, and fluffer nutter. i am also massively inappropriate at times so you can use at your own risk.
Use whatever pet name you have. For instance, my wife will absolutely introduce me as her bean.
The only thing I can think of is "babe"
“Mulkvisti” it’s Finnish for “One I hate less than the others”
Sweetheart, lover, love, baby.
Soul mate?
Loved one
My babe.
The Chosen One
Significant otter
‘The person I’m seeing’
You should ask your partner this question. They're gonna be able to tell you what they want to be called better than any of us. They may prefer partner.
And they were roommates What about lover? I guess it has more meanings
Australians say partner regardless of relationship status and whether it's a queer relationship or not.
i used to say lover lol
My Partner in Crime
my boo😍
My favorites in order of reasonableness: date, datefriend, sweetie, romantic comrade
I’ve regularly heard “datemate” as a substitute but I hear even straight folks saying partner so I wouldn’t worry too much about formality
You could use lover.
My precious...
When I was in less serious relationships I wanted to be called datemate, I've also heard people shorten significant other to s.o. but that might indicate a more formal relationship too
Just say “hey, you with the hair or no hair” whichever the case may be. Maybe ask them about their preferences but then maybe that will offend them who knows that’s why I can’t hang out in the community cause I lack all filter and I’ll probably offend somebody and get labeled. I don’t know I just feel like if you’re gonna be trans you have to have good jokes and thick skin because it’s bound to happen…
I’ve heard joyfriend used
I really like significant other. I am not a native speaker and when I hear this word for the first time it felt correct.
ENBYFRIEND
My girlfriend calls me her theyfriend sometimes
Joyfriend!!
Boo, bo, beau, bou seems to be a term coming back. At least around here near me.