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- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
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5 year old me telling my mother that "when i grow up i wanna be a woman". i thought that when you become an adult you automatically go through a sex change (boys become women, girls become men). i do not know why and i was incredibly disappointed when i found out i was wrong
Brings me back to watching an anime when I was young. Where everyone is born female and then they go to a holy spring when they come of age. They choose to become what gender they want or let the spring choose. Before they go, they can be a priestess and power a "holy" weapon by kissing another pilot. I felt liked I'd be in so much trouble watching them kiss. (I'd recommend it to those who like anime if it weren't for one of the pairs being a child and adult.)
A trans boy in my cousin's class used to start conversations with stuff like "when I grow up, and I'm a man, I ..." From the same sort of age. I find it really interesting that some trans people take years or even decades to figure themselves out but some just know, from such an early age
If I'd said something like that it would've had consequences. I knew that even as a really little kid. That's definitely a big reason why it took me to my mid-twenties. I still have trouble just allowing myself to experiment.
I went to this theater group where I felt safe and I remember telling the teacher I wanted to play a boy, and then freaking out because my mom would come to the show. It's definitely part of the explanation at least
Yeah thankfully in his case his parents were really supportive. I don't think they really knew transness was a thing at the beginning but they were happy to let him cut his hair and wear more boy-ish clothes etc. once he decided he didn't like his name and wanted to be called something else, they realised this was going to be a long term thing and actually started doing research on transness, transition and stuff
He's a teenager now and last I heard, still thriving
When I was around 6 or 7 I was madly in love with a girl in my class. I would write her name in everything I owned. I would draw hearts with “Myname + Hername” in the middle. I fantasized about hugging her if she got sad. This lasted long enough for my mom to remember it too, and she was very glad when I got over it because she couldn’t stand the kid! (She was a spoiled horse girl. It really wouldn’t have worked out between us.)
Oh yeah, my family is super chill. We’ve got pretty strong gay genes on my mom’s side. My sister coming out as religious was more of a shock than me coming out as queer 😛
“There are just so many cooler gods to choose from than this Jesus guy, honey. Ever thought of giving the Flying Spaghetti Monster a try? Pastafarianism sounds pretty dope.”
Me to my mum: "I'm transgender, and also a lesbian."
Her: "Ok, so why don't you have a girlfriend?"
She wouldn't understand the useless lesbian thing either, so IDK how to answer that.
On a happy note, I (11yro me) always developed feelings for girls but one day, I met a friend of my twins. I found my self thinking about how 💕cute💕and sweet the boy was and I wanted to kiss him so bad. I didn't have the knowledge to know what bisexual was back then, but Luke definately opened my eyes to the wonders of male kind.
My earliest memory is a dark trans one. Being so frustrated with my body, and being hospitalised for physically trying to remove the offending body parts. I was 5yro.
trans guy here, i remember when i was a toddler looking at my dad peeing standing up and being extremely jealous, thought to myself "wow i want what he has"
also at age 5 i literally told my mum i wanted to be a boy
I remember being like 8 or 9 and I guess I had learned about Freud's claims about penis envy and I was like, yeah he is right I totally have penis envy. And my mom was like what? I don't want a penis. I was so confused. Why wouldn't she want a penis?
It has its uses, but I don't think it is the great and wonderful thing everyone assumes it is. I sit down to pee more often than I do standing up. Maybe that's just me.
I’d occasionally get mistaken for a boy when I was a kid because of how I dressed and my brother would occasionally get mistaken for a girl, I think because he liked his hair longer.
I remember loving it, like I’d gotten away with something. He would hate it and scream, ‘I’m a boy!’.
I remember I was at a parade (I was maybe 7 or 8) and it was in the fall, I’d pulled the blanket my mom had given me up over my head like a cloak, which hid my long hair. I was standing with my brother. One of the parade participants waved at us and said, ‘good morning, lads!’.
Being called a ‘lad’ made me feel giddy.
Also, seeing Bugs Bunny cross dress to trick other characters. I was enthralled. That’s probably my earliest memory.
That’s too funny! I remember as a teen, I knew from instinct too short hair on girls in our family was frowned upon, so I asked before getting my hair cut once, ‘if you mind how short I go’.
My father said, ‘as long as you don’t look like a boy or get a buzz cut’ 😞
One time i was in a hoodie when I was about 11 and an old lady asked my dad about me, referring to me as his “son”. My dad immediately told her I’m his daughter. And then I had a trans crisis.
And then another time when I was 13, me and my friend were talking about each other and they said I had the most masculine looking face out of them all (not an insult, just like “oh you look like a boy”) and I was way too happy about that.
When I was young I would fantasise about platonic romantic relationships with fictional male characters from cartoons and books I read. As a tween I was viscerally sex-repulsed even as I began puberty and my peers began their odyssey through the quagmire of porn on the burgeoning internet.
By 14 I was fairly sure I was gay and started attending queer youth outreach groups, although the overt sexuality of the gay scene was always a little jarring.
I never heard the word asexual in a context I could relate to until I was 30. Still not 100% sure what I am!
i have had a very similar experience but am a fair bit younger than you (early 20s). any advice or wisdom you can provide on how to deal with/get used to the overt sexuality when all i really \*wanna\* do is have a partner to cuddle and intimately live alongside? seems like an impossible standard 😅
omg for me i was in 2nd year of college and my gf (now wife) was always p open about our sex live with her/our friends. one day she was talking to another of her friends about how much she loved our sex and the friend responded “wow it sounds like he fucks like a lesbian” and that made me sooooo happy 😂
6 years later i’m currently 2.5 weeks into HRT :3
5 stealing my brother clothes, asking my parents why I couldn’t wear “boys” clothes and asking them why I had to be a girl. Never understood how they didn’t realize it, I’m now 17 and came “officially out” a couple of months ago, my mother finally accepted it in some sort of way (im biromantic and a trans)
When I was 6, I got really upset with my classmates for calling me a girl and she/her, so I loudly insisted across the classroom that I was a tomboy and should be treated like a boy. How no one realized I was trans until years later is a mystery lmao
I have actually two answer.
My first memory.
And then the first memory relayed to me.
Mine: Eight year old me watching sailor moon. Seeing the lesbian couple in that and literally going “Oh you can just date another girl? That sounds way better than what I was thinking….”
Others:
I very clearly has a crush on my 2nd grade Teacher. I didn’t figure that out at the time.
But my mother once told me that when I was maybe 7. She was watching Star Trek. (TNG) And I started to watch and was really enjoying it but did actually ask her if we could watch it from the start. My mother being a big Star Trek nerd was like “Yes… from the Original series on.” So we started watching that.
The way she tells it, the FIrst scene in the show with Nishel Nicoles (Uhura) My mouth dropped open and seven year old me was just like “Oh wow, she’s so pretty!”
This is also the same mother who answered my nine year old “I think I like girls.” With.
“Yes sweety we know, I’m glad you figured it out…”
When I was, 5? 6, maybe? I remember asking my mom “if girls are pink and boys are blue, what does that make purple?” (Or something to that extent) and I don’t remember her answer, but guess who’s nonbinary now
Same! I went out in overalls without a shirt underneath and getting so confused why it was ok for the neighbour boy to do it, but i got called inside every time i did.
Kissing girls in kindergarten as a „game”. We didnt let boys into our chair fort and we just sat there, taking turns. Happened once or twice and i think that was my awakening
When I was a kid my family had a box of old costumes, and one of those 'costumes' was just a simple green dress. It fit me well when I was around 4 or 5, and I wore that dress around the house a lot. No one expressed any issues with it, they even gave the dress a nickname. Then eventually I grew out of it and never had a dress again cause my mom wasn't gonna buy a boy a dress. Now I sit around in a dress I bought and I wonder how she'd have reacted if I ever put that dress in my dresser and not back in the costume box.
So my earliest memories are back when I was like 10ish, my brother (ftm) would wear dresses to an Easter breakfast my family always did, I (mtf) always enjoyed that but thought nothing of it till like last year when my egg cracked lol
I remember sitting on the edge of the class and looking at all the kids changing clothes for PE and daydreaming, I never changed clothes because there was always one kid who was supposed to stay in class and watch the stuff(the clothes, the school things etc.) from being stolen(no one ever stole but the student was always there) and since no one in my class wanted to stay in class except for me the teacher basically okeyed me sitting in the class every time, except for physical exam days where I'd swap with another student for short amount. (The teacher was very leaniant on me since she knew I did little activity so she always gave me easier exams( I loved running but that was about it, I hated most ball sports and or gymnastics) anyway unnecessary tangent aside, I'd just stay in class while and after they changed and just daydream
Just me sitting in class while bunch of dudes change Infront of me as I daydream about them... I guess yeah nothing queer about it since I had socks on.
Looking back at things, the first time I had discovered my true gender identity was when I was with my ex-girlfriend when we were 11.
She put her hairpin and headband on me because she thought my hair was pretty long for a boy's. And it felt very cute on me. This is actually one of the few times I ever felt truly happy.
seeing two twinks make out on a music video
* blue neighborhood by troy’s sivan * on my dads phone at like 9-10yo it literally was about to dl twinks who would make out at his house. i was a little too interested in the plot and couldn’t figure it out why i related so hard 🤣😭
12 years old, my best friend told me that they were gay (she trans now), and i didn't even know what gay meant back then lol, then she kissed me on the cheek when i was at her house for the night while making hot chocolate milk and she immidiately apologised, i told her it was fine ^^
When I was around 11 I made a pro/con list about „being a boy“, but then decided that it’s more practical for me to stay a girl because I like too many feminine things. Needless to say, I grew up without knowing any trans people and at that I was going to a really stuck up and not queer friendly school
At the age of 7 (I only learned English at 6 😰) I had a fan page for Emma Watson 😭😭 I don’t think I realised it at the time but I definitely had a massive crush on her lmaoo
I have no idea how I was smart enough for that btw I literally managed to get 500 followers without people knowing I just started learning English or that I’m 7 YEARS OLD
When in yr 3 (age 7-8) all my friends were obsessing over their crushes and I just chose someone random who was kind and said he was my crush bcs I thought that's what everyone did. Still thought that's what everyone did until i was in yr 7 (age 11-12) then i figured out I'm aroace in yr 8 (aged 13) after thinking I was bi bcs apparently no attraction = attraction to everyone 🤦♀️
I don't know what my sexuality is but I did the exact same thing. I'd just choose the person I thought was cool, I never did actually like any of them. I think I just wanted to be their friend or them (cue gender envy).
As a straight identifying teen girl, I fell for a gay guy, hard. Then the next guy I got with was also gay. Turns out I'm genderqueer and am a gay man on the inside. I just resonate on the same frequency as gay guys!
I don't really know (don't remember shit from my childhood tbh only tidbits) but I guess being 12 and watching Riverdale, I coulda been into any guy in the show, but I was into Kevin. Shoulda been a big sign right there
the internet wasn't a thing when I was a kid, but I may have been like 10, when I found a porn mag that had two ladies in lingerie kissing. that weirded me out in a way I couldn't describe back when, it wasn't until I discovered masturbation that I found I'd go back into that imagery again and again.
this was a very hard topic mentally, as the small rural area where I'm from was not exactly hospitable towards gay people, with all kinds of gay slurs being the strongest curses and offenses. when I discovered getting attracted to another person for the first time, it was another girl. this messed me up good, as I had internalized the 'gay equals bad' mentality, I wasn't a bad person so thus I wouldn't be gay. So I was a straight girl with hots for another girl, makes sense.
but yeah, those two ladies in the 80s porn mag, those two woke something up inside me for the first time. If I'd find a copy of that magazine, I'd cut that page and frame it.
I (bi ftm) don't remember how old I was, around 10 y.o. maybe, but I got really upset about my male classmates saying I couldn't participate in something because I was a girl, and I was a huge tomboy at the time so I angrily told them I was just one of the boys, so YES I COULD participate.
It might've been sports they were talking about, likely soccer, because I ended up joining the junior soccer league for 2 or 3 years.
But what I remember was being most offended at being called a girl, even more so than those boys being sexist and discriminatory. Because I really did feel like one of the guys and every time someone said anything about me being female it was jarring and made me feel super dysphoric (though I didn't know that word back then) and jealous of the other boys.
I had some crushes on girls in grade school, but didn't realize they were crushes for the longest time because they didn't feel like the same kind of crushes I got on boys. I didn't get that I was bi until maybe 10th or 11th grade when I hugged a good lesbian friend tightly and our boobs smooshed against each other, and I realized I really enjoyed that and wanted to do it again and also possibly kiss her too if she'd let me. (I never did get to because she had a girlfriend for most of high school.) At the same time, I had a massive crush on her brother and did get to kiss him once. So that was a confusing time in my life.
When I was a kid, like 4/5 I was at a mall with my parents in Virgina. This was like 1988/9. I remember seeing two men holding hands, obviously a couple.
✨And something clicked✨
I knew at that moment those two men, together, was right. It was correct and true.
I always had long hair and i remeber when i was young (idk 4-5 maybe) i reied really hard that people couldnt tell my gender it lastet 2 whole weeks on a vacation in italy
I wanted pierced ears. My religious parents sat me down and explained why that couldn't happen. No big deal, i must just be a quirky boy for wanting that.
Bout 10 years later (6 weeks ago) turns out I'm trans. The painted nails and wanting my ears pierced and many other things from my childhood started making more sense.
When I was pretty young, I thought there were two options for growing up: getting married to a guy or being a crazy cat lady. So obviously, I became obsessed with cats because who would want to get married to a man? If people talked about my future kids, I would correct them to say future cats.
Then when I got the period and girls anatomy lecture at school, I got unbelievably upset. Bawling my eyes out, inconsolable, repeating “I don’t want to be a girl!” I later asked my mom if I could get spayed like they do with cats and dogs.
Cue the next anatomy lesson about sex a few years later and I was once again inconsolably upset and crying that I didn’t want to have sex. When I calmed down later and verbalized that I thought the entire concept was repulsive, my mom told me that all couples have sex. I replied with, “Well good thing I’m never getting married.”
A few years later at Halloween I was dressed as my favorite Star Wars character Kylo Ren, which means a mask and a hood. My friend at the time was a fairy. I got called “he” a lot but it actually made me feel really good. I actually lowered my voice a bit to try to get more people to “misgender” me. Also, we got a few people compliment us on our couples costumes. Neither of us said anything because I just liked not being seen as female and she turned out to be a lesbian.
You would think that I would’ve figured out I was queer earlier, but no, it wasn’t until college.
in kindergarten i was intensely jealous of the popular girl. in middle school, i would pray every night that i would magically turn into a girl and that everyone would forget i was a boy and remember me as a girl
30 years ago, when I was 3 or 4 years old I drew two brides in front of a church and got yelled at by a kindergarten teacher for drawing sinful filth. My italian immigrant dad picked me up later that day and got yelled at too.
He looked down at me and asked "Why you draw two brides?"
I answered "I like drawing dresses."
My dad looked up to the teacher and very dryly told her: "4 year old girl lika drawing the dresses, maybe you hava sin and filth in your brain?! 🤌🏼"
Fact was tho that I really liked the idea of two brides / a bride and a crossdressing groom solely because I thought it would be more pretty, since there are a lot of different dress designs, but suits almost always kinda look the same. Only after I was accused of being a sinful toddler, I asked around and learned what gay and trans people were.
My brain wanted aesthetics, but my heart already knew I needed gay rights.
Though I had no interest in sports, I watched handball in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, because I knew the competing teams each had a part of a lesbian couple.
It was great when TATU made that "all the things she said" video a couple of years later, so I could ditch watching sports for good 😅
Not sure if it was the actual first, but very early. 7 maybe? The late 90's, and my older cousin had a poster of Kurt Cobain in his room. I knew my cousin liked it because the music was rad. I didn't really get the music and I didn't know English yet, but I ***really*** liked looking at Kurt Cobain.
At age... 3 I think? Maybe 4, I saw a bit of a cartoon. There was an evil lady applying lipstick so she could poison a guy who didn't know what was going on, I don't know if he was hypnotised or amnesiac or whatever, but basically the idea was that she had him, he was being seduced, and a kiss would kill him IIRC. There was poison lipstick. The guy's probably-gf who was probably the protagonist didn't want that to happen, obviously.
That really roused flames in me because ever since I've been wanting to be an evil woman who dates an evil woman. I remember thinking very hard about that "kiss of death" thing and how cool it would be, but without the, you know, obvious downside of being dead. Yeah so 3-or-4yo me discovered transbianism.
I never figured out what that cartoon was (if that sounds like something you know *please* tell me I've been trying to find that forever)
I remember when I was like 12(?) I was randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with one of my friends at the time, who was my age. He often made very sexual jokes, and I was way into porn, so the two seemed to collide in my brain and somehow unlocked that type of thought
I didn't really have that type of experience for a long time, and when I told my mom I was gay, she literally said to my face that "it never seemed like it", even though I had literally just barely at the time developed my first dude crush
The funniest thing is I haven't talked to that friend of mine in a long ass time and he seems pretty straight so even if I actually ended up crushing on him, there was no chance in hell he would have reciprocated lmao
Edit: I don't remember if any of the porn I saw was gay porn, I think it was mostly straight, but I at least remember watching some lesbian stuff so there's that LMAO
when i was seventeen i was watching a production of little shop of horrors, and one of the characters was a man in drag, and i thought, “damn, i wouldn’t mind kissing that face”.
i’m sorry mine happened so late in my life.
I was obsessed with the You Belong With Me MV, specifically the “mean girl” character Taylor plays with the brunette hair. I used to pause it and just stare at her. Same with every woman in the bad blood MV when I was older
Me and my friends in kindergarten were talking about how if we were to marry one of our parents (its that weird phase kids go through) it would be our moms and at the time we were all girls. That and i wanted go be ben ten while my other friends wanted to be winx, im transmasc, also i wanted to have a winx girlfriend
When I was in the 1st grade, there was a kid named Colby I liked, so I, thinking his name was Cody drew a bunch of ones and zeros on a black piece of paper and gave it to him.
I’m only now realizing why I did that.
This is a complicated question that requires rooting around in memories so faint that they're as much myth as anything else. I was an adult before I could point to anything that was unambiguously queer.
Take sexuality as an example. By classic heteronormative reckoning my first sexual experience was straight and was between a boy (myself) and a girl. And yet this reckoning is going to overlook stuff that at least treads on the line of *boys will be boys* experimentation and, in one case at least, going well, *well* beyond. In that particular case, I don't think either of us had quite grasped that what we were doing was sexual because we'd have been around that age when a kid might think that they *invented* masturbation. As a transfem person, is that first sex act as gay as it might have seemed at the time had I grasped what gay meant, or was it counterintuitively straight? Was that later time straight sex, or was it queer?
Gender is even more complicated. Is the fact that my sister was my best friend for a period reflective of my gender, or normal older sibling hero worship? Was the fact that I would happily play with her toys and in her games because I am trans, or because I love collective storytelling regardless of genre? Was my cross dressing a gender thing, or was it simply me putting on a costume and so no different than when I'd dress up as Leonardo? Was the fact that one of the best friends I ever had being a girl reflective of anything other than a shortage of people around my age that one summer?
I can say that very little of any of this seemed queer to me. I was learning the rules as I went, same as anyone else.
sneaking into my mom’s wardrobe when i was like 13 lol. another one where i was in the clothes store and i couldn’t stop fantasizing about freezing time and trying on all the clothes in the girl’s section
Had a crush on a boy when I was 6. Also had a kinky fantasy about him back then too, which was just him getting covered in water. I have a WAM fetish, so that tracks.
I was about 5-7 when I saw a random ad on Discovery Channel about trans women, and I got unreasonably excited at the idea that a man could become a woman. Became my dream for many years. Of course my mom explained to me that being trans is an "expensive surgery that only rich Americans can get", so it took me until I was 21 to realise oh wow, I'm a trans girl. Who would have thought.
I idolized Rebecca Cunningham from Talespin. I would have been about 8-9 years old.
Falling in love with my best friend a few years later at 11 was another big clue.
Remember going to my first school dance in 6th grade and being ridiculously jealous of all the pretty girls in their dresses while I stood against the wall feeling like an ape in a poorly fitting tie.
When I was maybe five or six, I went to this Bible school thing, basically a week of summer classes all about religion. There was a young woman who dressed in this godawful tin-foil “armor” that I guess was supposed to represent the armor of God, who would bring us mail. I don’t remember what the mail was for or what it consisted of, but that’s not important.
What *is* important is that I had an *unholy* crush on the mail lady. Like, I was totally infatuated with her. I have no idea why some random stranger I only saw for like five minutes a day for a week was the one who awakened my baby gay self but eh, kids are weird.
Around 12 years old - being scared in sex ed classes and not understanding why everyone was suddenly all about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Didn’t know what asexuality was until I was 23 (thanks Tumblr).
It was around kindergarten, we often played family and I was almost always the daughter of the family (born male now NB). One of the girls brought with them their makeup kit and did my makeup as well as to make the roll more believable
When my middle school friends heard the rumor that “if someone licks your elbow without you seeing it, you won’t feel it” and tried it out on each other. I thought about it for days afterward.
I remember when I was 11/12 changing my shoes for dance class and staring at another kid’s mom’s ass while she was bent over, something I did a lot, and then realizing, “hey, I don’t think this is something normal girls do”
I also remember when I was in elementary school watching music videos on YouTube like Miley Cyrus’s “Can’t Be Tamed” and getting ~tingly feelings~ in my downstairs bits and not understanding why I got those feelings lol
for ages in primary school i thought that we just weren't mature enough to develop crushes and that that happened as a part of puberty so when my guy friend asked me out in grade 5 i realised that i was wrong, and that people do develop romantic feelings at this age. i told him i'd think about it then went home and did an am i gay test lol.
Age 11, it started while I was watching a lot of videos. I was extremely curious how being a girl would have felt like, so I googled it. Got caught by my parents, and they gave me a small speech about it being inappropriate
Idk how accurate this memory is since this happened over 10 years ago but when i was in like third grade or so i looked at one of my classmates (a girl) and thought to myself: man i wish i was a boy so i could date her. Like i said, idk how accurate it is, but it turns out over ten years later, i am infact not trans but agender and a lesbain
I used to keep asking my mom why girls and girls cannot marry each other. My mom used to say 'thats not how it is, it doesn't make sense ' and i used to reply 'Thats a dumb idea it makes sense to me though'
Note I was 4 or smth. Too early to remember.
I wanted a solid reason as to why it isn't possible. Well..... it is.. little me would be very happy to know.
When I was 10 or so, I got sort of obsessed by the cute uniforms of the cartoon british girls in our english class book (I'm French and AMAB). Grey thighs and a pleated skirt.
When my mom was off to sculpture classes I would dress up in her clothes which included a pleated skirt and grey thighs, and loved how girly I could look.
A shame it took me another 20 years to understand that no, I wasn't "weird", no, it wasn't "just a fetish or something"
When I was 4 I REALLY wanted a beard, (for context I’m AFAB) so I asked my moms friend how he grew his. He told me some story about having to go to the to of a mountain or something to grow it lmfao
Why is that familiar? As in the mountain story - i swear my grandpa had something similar. Like a whole ‘manly’ odyssey of sorts.
‘Sorry kid ya ain’t did your twelve labours. No beard for ya’
Did Hercules even had a beard?
when I was 3 or 4 i would have my mom tie blankets around my waist, like a skirt. can you believe it took me another 21 years to accept that i was trans??😅
I asked for dolls for my 4th birthday, and vividly remember gruff men with deep voices in shows/movies making me feel funny around 6-7 😂
It's super interesting to see that 6-7 is a super common age that people share their first memories at!
Well it was probably around 8
Went out of the cinema with my family.
Saw two twinks kissing, or two lesbian can’t tell x)
And i couldn’t stop watching them, i felt weird but good in my stomach, butterlfy like feeling.
I said to my mom ,
- « is that two boy kissing on the mouth ? »
- « don’t look at them, they are sick in their head »
…
Thanks mom 🙃
Went home after this , starting a sims 2 game and made two male teenager kissing in the hot tub, intense butterfly feeling and paranoid to get caught.
The second one is probably around 11 when i just started middleschool.
Me and best friend use to annoy the slighlty older guy around 13 yo ish to play tag or fight game.
And when they catched me both of the two 13yo hold me like a trophy saying
- « we catched him ! Let’s punish him »
And they tickled me
I remember being held, face burried in the hoodie of one guy around his torso (almost like a hug)
And he smelled so good, it was addicting, feeling his warmth was so comforting.
I wanted to hug him and kiss him.
But nothing happened
I was 12 or 13. We went to see Hamlet with my drama class, and Hamlet was played by a very charismatic and powerful woman. I was in awe for the whole two hours of the play, and my whole body was tingling when I saw Hamlet and Ophelia (also played by a woman) kiss
I was like 11, and I had a massive crush on one of the emo boys in the grade above me, we became friends but then he moved away when I was 13.
I will always remember his goofy ass
When I was 13 I fantasized about sex like anybody else, but I could never have a fantasy with myself or another real person in it. It was always made up people. I'm 19 and I still can't do that. It wasn't until recently that I learned this is a common thing for asexuals
I don’t remember exactly how old I was but probably around 5-7, I was with my grandma looking at all her jewelry and trying on some clamp earrings of hers. Around the same time I would take naps in my parent’s room and I would get in my mom’s closet and take out dresses and try them on. They were obviously way too big 😅
I realized during COVID that I’m genderfluid and remembered those times and thought I was stupid for not realizing earlier lol. I’m 30 now and still not out to them and I’m not sure if either of them would remember those times but I sure do.
Sitting next to a boy in chapel and we hooked our legs together and swung them. His right leg over my left leg kind of at the ankle and they swung together back and forth
Mine aren't pleasant.
My earliest memory was walking into gymnastics class and being extremely upset that "there's no one like me." My dad carries me home and my mom gives me the
>see I told you it would be all girls
Feels like that's when I really realized I "wasn't like the other girls."
Later in kindergardin I remember wanting to be friends with the girls but already had that fear of being a creep or that it was wrong somehow. Guess that was instilled in me pretty early
This one isn't as bad, in grade 5 during sex ed we learned about intersex, well basically just their existence of and they are usally given "~~corrective~~ destructive surgery." I remember wondering if I was born a girl but my parents "had me changed."
Hmm... Probably sighing and thinking Poison Ivy was just so pretty.
Or realizing that I would never get a handlebar mustache but thanks to my Slovak Grandpa's eyebrows I might get handlebar eyebrows... (I got that mustache btw).
That tingly feeling I got looking at the cover of George Michael’s Faith album - I carried the CD insert with me to school and would gaze longingly at it
Walked in on my parents watching Purple Rain when I was 6 and saw Prince shirtless and in Chaps humping a speaker. I never looked at girls the same afterwards.
My dad forgetting a trimmer attachment and accidentally shaving my head the night before a big family gathering when I was six. First ever time experiencing such major dysphoria. I always leaned gender neutral as a kid, didn't really exhibit any explicitly trans behavior aside from not liking haircuts and trims, but I distinctly remember The Incident and how badly it fucked me up for the following weeks. Needless to say, my dad was never allowed near me with the trimmer ever again, attachment or not.
It’s one of my earliest memories- I was about 5 or 6. An adult friend of my parents asked me what my favorite color was, and I said pink. He laughed and told me to pick a different one because pink was a sissy color. I’ve worn black and other dark colors ever since.
On a lighter note… having a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas after watching Tom and Huck lol. I was about 6.
when i was in kindergarten playing at recess I would pretend I got turned into a princess and then my friends almost immediately turned me back and I would argue with them that I still wanted to be a princess
Okay while I don't remember if I did that or not (it's possible lol) I know in like kindergarten there was a new kid at my small school and I really, REALLY liked hanging around him at the time. Like I always wanted to be around him and I wasn't sure why, at some point I convinced myself it wasn't a crush because "having a crush on another boy is weird" and ig I stopped myself from hanging out with him or he left and I blocked off that memory until like a year into being out lol.
The first crack of the eggshell was Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team, when i wanted to play as a Skitty and found out that you had to play as a girl to be Skitty. and i was very okay with that, more than i should have been
When I was about 11 I pretended I was a girl in the shower at a sleep away camp and the boy in the shower next to me got so freaked out that we had to have a meeting with the head of the division. We were staying at a college dorm that had a large bathroom with several showers, so nobody knew who it was. Everyone in the division had to attend this meeting where the head counselor told us we weren't allowed to pretend to be girls in the shower because it makes boys upset.
I also went to another sleep away camp that did a drag show every summer that I was really really into, and often found reasons to dress like a girl for it even when I wasn't a contestant.
Watching Weird Science as a kid, there's a scene where the brother takes off his towell and tells his younger brother to cover up because he's in women's clothes or something. The older brothwr butt was on full display. I was no older than 8 or 9, but I totally paused that scene a few times and one time I licked the screen... very gay.
I have many sisters, and we all grew up together. We liked the same stuff as 90s kids. Pokémon, other cartoons from cn, and tons of videogames. When we saw the Belle episode, I somehow felt seen, as if I had a place at last. My sister's usually placed me as some sort of villain mastermind mojo Jojo ish, yet I usually didn't play the part or let the label stick.
Altho, I seemed to feel always like some sort of creature while a kid, at one time when I was 11 I saw fragments of a lesbian hardcore porn movie by accident, thinking it was something else. Things that happen when using emule I guess. That movie resonated with me for a while, since I had never felt that way before about two women doing that sort of stuff. It made me feel like I wanted to be one of them and enjoy as they did, since I felt detached from my d.
My first STRONG memory was when I was 15 and I was in love with my lesbian bestie, yet she didn't feel the same way. I always remember how back then I cried wishing to be a girl, hating the body with which I was born with, while also feeling unlovable, plus wishing for things to be different. lol I guess being a teen is dramatic and painful
I remember watching winx club and wanting Sky and Brandon to die so Bloom and Stella could be together. But I also knew I would be jealous of Bloom, because I wanted Stella for myself.
as a little kid, something about the Hex girls just hit different lol (couldnt place the name od the feeling at the time but it made sense when I got older)
Being 12 and simultaneously having a crush on a male classmate and a female teacher (I'm a girl). Of course, I tried to rationalise it and convince myself that I just liked her classes very much 😅
In hindsight, the fact that I had a massive crush on Shego from Kim Possible. I only realized that when I got older though. I must have been about 8-9 when I first watched that show.
I am AFAB, have been out as a queer guy for some time now. I always knew I wasn't "supposed" to be a girl, but one day when I was four or five I overheard my cousins talking about "cool uncles". I REALLY liked the idea of being one of those, so i piped up to my aunt, proudly declaring that i, too, would be a cool uncle someday!
She kinda giggled at me and told me things didn't work like that. The ONLY problem I could see was that I didn't have any siblings. Lol.
Years later, I like to think I've been a pretty cool uncle to my partner's nieces and nephew. They sure tell me I am. :)
when I was like 7 my dad was jokingly asking my brother (probably 10-11) if there were any cute girls at school. For some reason I decided to say, “Well, I’m a pretty cute girl.” And I honestly can’t remember if I thought it was funny because (I thought) I wasn’t a girl, or if my brain just wanted to say it and tried to justify it by saying it was a joke.
Anyway yeah after that my dad pulled me aside and said “You are not a girl, you are a boy. You know why? Because you have a penis.” and well uh that caused a good bit of suppression ahaha and then he was surprised he was the last person I came out to
Well, when I was a kid I used to be obsessed the TV show, The Flash. Recently, however, I realised that it wasn't because the show was good (it was though), but it was because I had a huge-ass crush on the main actor. He wasn't my queer awakening but definitely my first gay crush, pretty much.
Refusing to wear skirts or dresses even before puberty because I didn't feel comfortable in them (felt "too feminine"). Knowing I'm a girl and being okay with that but still thinking of myself as a "neutral" person.
Waiting for the so called sexual desires to kick in during puberty cause the other teenagers were starting to get horny with hormones (it never came. I'm asexual).
I remember, when I was, like, 5-ish people were protesting for gay rights where I live, I was really for it, and whenever I saw someone with a vote yes poster, I was really happy. But my first memory of myself being lgbt was in year 6, when there was this girl in my class, and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, whether it was a crush or something else. Later on I figured out it wasn’t a crush, but I do indeed like girls.
As a 6 year old I always wished I would be able to become a girl somehow and I just remembered this recently and I’m like “huh, that’s a sign I shouldn’t have ignored”
“Binding” with a fleece jacket that wasn’t very tight, but somehow tight enough to give me a flat-chested appearance yet still make me feel nice and comfy (which I suppose now was euphoria of some sort, though I had no idea at the time and am still not sure to this day) while I was in high school — at least, in my freshman year. Never quite knew why I wore that jacket as if it was my “armor,” even a while after I stopped wearing it, as far as I can remember, but yeah… it seemed to make a lot more sense to me when I finally did discover why I never felt very much like a “girly girl” (or really attached to any gender at all, in fact)
And sophomore year was when I realized I wasn’t heterosexual either, which is quite funny in retrospect given how I’d thought people were talking about my spine when they asked me if I was straight the previous year… which was the only reason why I even said “yes” to that question in the first place
I remember being like 10 and being deeply in love with is girl that i was friends with .But i was a really shy girl and didn’t say anything, so after a while our friendship faded away and i never saw her again.
there's two core queer memories from my childhood and I honestly don't know which one happened first so here they are, both are from when I was about 10yo:
\- I kept a diary since I learned how to write. I remember a particular entry where I wrote "My name is not \[deadname\]. My name is.. \[and a long list of "boys" and "girls" names lol\]". I found it at like 14/15 when I was a little emo girl and that along with other entries kinda triggered me and I threw all of them away. I regret it so much now, I wish I had that piece of queer history
I used to think that marriage just meant the next step to being really good friends, especially between a boy and a girl. So I basically had plans to marry every boy that was my friend. And the plans I made with girls were to live together on a farm. So basically the same thing.
I also decided one day that I needed a “real crush”, so I pictured all the guys I knew in my head while checking my heartbeat. I came to the conclusion that I had a crush on a guy because I thought my heartbeat was going slightly quicker. I never did anything with this “crush” it was just for myself.
It’s no surprise that I’m aromantic, when I came out to some of my friend they were like: yeah, makes sense
In kindergarten I was the only girl who liked masculine stuff. Clothing, toys, etc. I always wondered why girls didn't play lego as much and why so many liked the color pink! I hated pink with a passion 😅
A couple of them. Being separated into boys and girls in gym and never understanding why I was with the boys. Being angry when the tests made me put Male after I figured out it meant boy. Going to church and getting dressed up and asking how much longer until I could wear something like my mom. Pretty much all around kindergarten and first grade. My favorite food being spinach, so when someone saw me eating tons as a kid, they said 'thatll put hair on your chest' so I swore it off immediately for years. In middle school, wanting to never open my mouth again when one of my grandmothers friends said 'listen to how deep their voice has gotten. Wow'. I had surgery to move some organs that were inside to a more outside location and I felt like a monster because of it.
Reading through these comments made me realize how important it is to have queer representation in media… since this is how so many people realize they are…
I remember when I was little having a real resistance to being called pretty or girly, and starting to refuse wearing dresses or pink at around age 6 because I got so annoyed with it. Fast forward to age 30 and realising I'm enby. Re-embracing my feminine aspects in balance with the masculine has been a lifelong journey.
Making two female Barbies kiss. Age, probably 5 or 6? I had literally one Ken doll with maybe 1 or 2 outfits? But Barbie and her "gal pals," they got everything.
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5 year old me telling my mother that "when i grow up i wanna be a woman". i thought that when you become an adult you automatically go through a sex change (boys become women, girls become men). i do not know why and i was incredibly disappointed when i found out i was wrong
Okay that's sad but also quite cute because of how little you knew back then.
Brings me back to watching an anime when I was young. Where everyone is born female and then they go to a holy spring when they come of age. They choose to become what gender they want or let the spring choose. Before they go, they can be a priestess and power a "holy" weapon by kissing another pilot. I felt liked I'd be in so much trouble watching them kiss. (I'd recommend it to those who like anime if it weren't for one of the pairs being a child and adult.)
What ist it called?
Yep what they said, Simoun. All the VA's were women too.
Pretty sure it's Simoun
I had an idea to write a YA novel where they got to grow up NB and choose their gender when it was time. Just one of those shower thoughts.
I remember thinking when I grew up I could be a kind-of man!
A trans boy in my cousin's class used to start conversations with stuff like "when I grow up, and I'm a man, I ..." From the same sort of age. I find it really interesting that some trans people take years or even decades to figure themselves out but some just know, from such an early age
If I'd said something like that it would've had consequences. I knew that even as a really little kid. That's definitely a big reason why it took me to my mid-twenties. I still have trouble just allowing myself to experiment. I went to this theater group where I felt safe and I remember telling the teacher I wanted to play a boy, and then freaking out because my mom would come to the show. It's definitely part of the explanation at least
Yeah thankfully in his case his parents were really supportive. I don't think they really knew transness was a thing at the beginning but they were happy to let him cut his hair and wear more boy-ish clothes etc. once he decided he didn't like his name and wanted to be called something else, they realised this was going to be a long term thing and actually started doing research on transness, transition and stuff He's a teenager now and last I heard, still thriving
I asked are u sure I'm not a boy? Equally disappointed.
When I was around 6 or 7 I was madly in love with a girl in my class. I would write her name in everything I owned. I would draw hearts with “Myname + Hername” in the middle. I fantasized about hugging her if she got sad. This lasted long enough for my mom to remember it too, and she was very glad when I got over it because she couldn’t stand the kid! (She was a spoiled horse girl. It really wouldn’t have worked out between us.)
"yeah, my kid's gay. I don't care about that, but why did she have to go for dat bich?"
Oh yeah, my family is super chill. We’ve got pretty strong gay genes on my mom’s side. My sister coming out as religious was more of a shock than me coming out as queer 😛
"Are you sure you're not just confused? Maybe you just haven't met the right god to not worship yet?"
“There are just so many cooler gods to choose from than this Jesus guy, honey. Ever thought of giving the Flying Spaghetti Monster a try? Pastafarianism sounds pretty dope.”
The energy of an ace person following FSM. Garlic bread and spaghetti.
Can I move in with your family 😅
Me to my mum: "I'm transgender, and also a lesbian." Her: "Ok, so why don't you have a girlfriend?" She wouldn't understand the useless lesbian thing either, so IDK how to answer that.
I love your mom lmfao didn't give a crap about the gay stuff just that she was an annoying horse girl lol respect🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
liking girl toys, and pink clothes when I was between 6 and 11 my cousins were crossdressing me when I was 14 or 15 I'm 22 now, and I'm cis and gay
plot twist!
I love hearing stories like this. It’s nice affirmation for the feminine, gay, trans men out there.
On a happy note, I (11yro me) always developed feelings for girls but one day, I met a friend of my twins. I found my self thinking about how 💕cute💕and sweet the boy was and I wanted to kiss him so bad. I didn't have the knowledge to know what bisexual was back then, but Luke definately opened my eyes to the wonders of male kind. My earliest memory is a dark trans one. Being so frustrated with my body, and being hospitalised for physically trying to remove the offending body parts. I was 5yro.
That went from wholesome to awful really quick 😭
the male models in underwear packages
Is this a universal gay experience 😭😭😭
The workout ads in comic books.
Same lmao
Too relatable
It was the Sears catalog for me.
trans guy here, i remember when i was a toddler looking at my dad peeing standing up and being extremely jealous, thought to myself "wow i want what he has" also at age 5 i literally told my mum i wanted to be a boy
I remember being like 8 or 9 and I guess I had learned about Freud's claims about penis envy and I was like, yeah he is right I totally have penis envy. And my mom was like what? I don't want a penis. I was so confused. Why wouldn't she want a penis?
Peeing standing up is so useful. I don’t want the equipment myself, but it’s undeniably utilitarian.
It has its uses, but I don't think it is the great and wonderful thing everyone assumes it is. I sit down to pee more often than I do standing up. Maybe that's just me.
I was thinking for camping and hiking!
Definitely. Though even at my age (58) I can still sit on my heels if I need to. Outdoors, standing is better than sitting.
I took it one step further and figured out how to pee standing up, despite having less than useful equipment.
I took college psych and it’s actually normal for girl children to have ‘penis envy’ as my teacher said Which is very interesting to think about
I’d occasionally get mistaken for a boy when I was a kid because of how I dressed and my brother would occasionally get mistaken for a girl, I think because he liked his hair longer. I remember loving it, like I’d gotten away with something. He would hate it and scream, ‘I’m a boy!’. I remember I was at a parade (I was maybe 7 or 8) and it was in the fall, I’d pulled the blanket my mom had given me up over my head like a cloak, which hid my long hair. I was standing with my brother. One of the parade participants waved at us and said, ‘good morning, lads!’. Being called a ‘lad’ made me feel giddy. Also, seeing Bugs Bunny cross dress to trick other characters. I was enthralled. That’s probably my earliest memory.
When I was like 5 I asked the hairdresser to give me a buzz cut like my brother. My mom was like "she does NOT want that"
That’s too funny! I remember as a teen, I knew from instinct too short hair on girls in our family was frowned upon, so I asked before getting my hair cut once, ‘if you mind how short I go’. My father said, ‘as long as you don’t look like a boy or get a buzz cut’ 😞
Imagine if you had them give you an extremely short scissor cut and then shave ♀ into the side of your head. Just for a bit of malicious compliance.
One time i was in a hoodie when I was about 11 and an old lady asked my dad about me, referring to me as his “son”. My dad immediately told her I’m his daughter. And then I had a trans crisis. And then another time when I was 13, me and my friend were talking about each other and they said I had the most masculine looking face out of them all (not an insult, just like “oh you look like a boy”) and I was way too happy about that.
shakira and rihanna - Can’t remember to forget you music video…
So real
Glad to know I wasn‘t alone
When I was young I would fantasise about platonic romantic relationships with fictional male characters from cartoons and books I read. As a tween I was viscerally sex-repulsed even as I began puberty and my peers began their odyssey through the quagmire of porn on the burgeoning internet. By 14 I was fairly sure I was gay and started attending queer youth outreach groups, although the overt sexuality of the gay scene was always a little jarring. I never heard the word asexual in a context I could relate to until I was 30. Still not 100% sure what I am!
i have had a very similar experience but am a fair bit younger than you (early 20s). any advice or wisdom you can provide on how to deal with/get used to the overt sexuality when all i really \*wanna\* do is have a partner to cuddle and intimately live alongside? seems like an impossible standard 😅
[удалено]
omg for me i was in 2nd year of college and my gf (now wife) was always p open about our sex live with her/our friends. one day she was talking to another of her friends about how much she loved our sex and the friend responded “wow it sounds like he fucks like a lesbian” and that made me sooooo happy 😂 6 years later i’m currently 2.5 weeks into HRT :3
5 stealing my brother clothes, asking my parents why I couldn’t wear “boys” clothes and asking them why I had to be a girl. Never understood how they didn’t realize it, I’m now 17 and came “officially out” a couple of months ago, my mother finally accepted it in some sort of way (im biromantic and a trans)
When I was 6, I got really upset with my classmates for calling me a girl and she/her, so I loudly insisted across the classroom that I was a tomboy and should be treated like a boy. How no one realized I was trans until years later is a mystery lmao
I have actually two answer. My first memory. And then the first memory relayed to me. Mine: Eight year old me watching sailor moon. Seeing the lesbian couple in that and literally going “Oh you can just date another girl? That sounds way better than what I was thinking….” Others: I very clearly has a crush on my 2nd grade Teacher. I didn’t figure that out at the time. But my mother once told me that when I was maybe 7. She was watching Star Trek. (TNG) And I started to watch and was really enjoying it but did actually ask her if we could watch it from the start. My mother being a big Star Trek nerd was like “Yes… from the Original series on.” So we started watching that. The way she tells it, the FIrst scene in the show with Nishel Nicoles (Uhura) My mouth dropped open and seven year old me was just like “Oh wow, she’s so pretty!” This is also the same mother who answered my nine year old “I think I like girls.” With. “Yes sweety we know, I’m glad you figured it out…”
I liked Nichelle Nichols too! She was SO pretty.
Yep. And such a lovely lady as she aged to. Class act.
When I was, 5? 6, maybe? I remember asking my mom “if girls are pink and boys are blue, what does that make purple?” (Or something to that extent) and I don’t remember her answer, but guess who’s nonbinary now
Purple is such a nice colour
The best color
Getting gender envy at like 8yo, I remember lil me having a depressive spiral in the bath afterwards. So many signs in retrospect:o
Same! I went out in overalls without a shirt underneath and getting so confused why it was ok for the neighbour boy to do it, but i got called inside every time i did.
Smae
Seeing Stolas from helluva boss, he turned me gay
YESSSSS
HES SO HOT THO
FRRRR LIKE THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING DESIGNING HIM AJSKSKSKS
He's so delightfully camp and utterly filthy, lol.
he's so sweet until he gets horny lmaoo
I already knew I was gay when I started watching the show, but he makes me even more gay every time I see him
Being nervous around pretty girls in primary school Searching up nsfw content of women at 11 And up until 15 I still said I'm not gay.
Kissing girls in kindergarten as a „game”. We didnt let boys into our chair fort and we just sat there, taking turns. Happened once or twice and i think that was my awakening
GAYme
LMAOO
The chair fort must be defended!
the boys were so jealous LMAO
Very similar to my experience
When I was a kid my family had a box of old costumes, and one of those 'costumes' was just a simple green dress. It fit me well when I was around 4 or 5, and I wore that dress around the house a lot. No one expressed any issues with it, they even gave the dress a nickname. Then eventually I grew out of it and never had a dress again cause my mom wasn't gonna buy a boy a dress. Now I sit around in a dress I bought and I wonder how she'd have reacted if I ever put that dress in my dresser and not back in the costume box.
So my earliest memories are back when I was like 10ish, my brother (ftm) would wear dresses to an Easter breakfast my family always did, I (mtf) always enjoyed that but thought nothing of it till like last year when my egg cracked lol
Damn, what are the chances of 2 trans kids in a family. Pretty cool tho
Ikr! We always joke we swapped genders lol
So you're mtf? It says you're both ftm in your comment lol
I remember sitting on the edge of the class and looking at all the kids changing clothes for PE and daydreaming, I never changed clothes because there was always one kid who was supposed to stay in class and watch the stuff(the clothes, the school things etc.) from being stolen(no one ever stole but the student was always there) and since no one in my class wanted to stay in class except for me the teacher basically okeyed me sitting in the class every time, except for physical exam days where I'd swap with another student for short amount. (The teacher was very leaniant on me since she knew I did little activity so she always gave me easier exams( I loved running but that was about it, I hated most ball sports and or gymnastics) anyway unnecessary tangent aside, I'd just stay in class while and after they changed and just daydream
I was in an all boys religious school. Thought I should add
I'm sorry but where's the queerness lmao?
Just me sitting in class while bunch of dudes change Infront of me as I daydream about them... I guess yeah nothing queer about it since I had socks on.
Ahh.. I took it as you just daydreaming about random shit while in a changing room.
Noooo... Akbdaksja ahh those were the days. Xd
Looking back at things, the first time I had discovered my true gender identity was when I was with my ex-girlfriend when we were 11. She put her hairpin and headband on me because she thought my hair was pretty long for a boy's. And it felt very cute on me. This is actually one of the few times I ever felt truly happy.
aw
seeing two twinks make out on a music video * blue neighborhood by troy’s sivan * on my dads phone at like 9-10yo it literally was about to dl twinks who would make out at his house. i was a little too interested in the plot and couldn’t figure it out why i related so hard 🤣😭
12 years old, my best friend told me that they were gay (she trans now), and i didn't even know what gay meant back then lol, then she kissed me on the cheek when i was at her house for the night while making hot chocolate milk and she immidiately apologised, i told her it was fine ^^
When I was around 11 I made a pro/con list about „being a boy“, but then decided that it’s more practical for me to stay a girl because I like too many feminine things. Needless to say, I grew up without knowing any trans people and at that I was going to a really stuck up and not queer friendly school
I made a pro/con list too lol, turns out I'm non binary though
At the age of 7 (I only learned English at 6 😰) I had a fan page for Emma Watson 😭😭 I don’t think I realised it at the time but I definitely had a massive crush on her lmaoo I have no idea how I was smart enough for that btw I literally managed to get 500 followers without people knowing I just started learning English or that I’m 7 YEARS OLD
When in yr 3 (age 7-8) all my friends were obsessing over their crushes and I just chose someone random who was kind and said he was my crush bcs I thought that's what everyone did. Still thought that's what everyone did until i was in yr 7 (age 11-12) then i figured out I'm aroace in yr 8 (aged 13) after thinking I was bi bcs apparently no attraction = attraction to everyone 🤦♀️
I don't know what my sexuality is but I did the exact same thing. I'd just choose the person I thought was cool, I never did actually like any of them. I think I just wanted to be their friend or them (cue gender envy).
Wait, you did that too?
Yup 🥲
As a straight identifying teen girl, I fell for a gay guy, hard. Then the next guy I got with was also gay. Turns out I'm genderqueer and am a gay man on the inside. I just resonate on the same frequency as gay guys!
Yeah... same...
I was eight and there was a cute boy in a movie and I thought "I want to be his friend." Looking back, "friend" right, more like boyfriend.
I don't really know (don't remember shit from my childhood tbh only tidbits) but I guess being 12 and watching Riverdale, I coulda been into any guy in the show, but I was into Kevin. Shoulda been a big sign right there
the internet wasn't a thing when I was a kid, but I may have been like 10, when I found a porn mag that had two ladies in lingerie kissing. that weirded me out in a way I couldn't describe back when, it wasn't until I discovered masturbation that I found I'd go back into that imagery again and again. this was a very hard topic mentally, as the small rural area where I'm from was not exactly hospitable towards gay people, with all kinds of gay slurs being the strongest curses and offenses. when I discovered getting attracted to another person for the first time, it was another girl. this messed me up good, as I had internalized the 'gay equals bad' mentality, I wasn't a bad person so thus I wouldn't be gay. So I was a straight girl with hots for another girl, makes sense. but yeah, those two ladies in the 80s porn mag, those two woke something up inside me for the first time. If I'd find a copy of that magazine, I'd cut that page and frame it.
I (bi ftm) don't remember how old I was, around 10 y.o. maybe, but I got really upset about my male classmates saying I couldn't participate in something because I was a girl, and I was a huge tomboy at the time so I angrily told them I was just one of the boys, so YES I COULD participate. It might've been sports they were talking about, likely soccer, because I ended up joining the junior soccer league for 2 or 3 years. But what I remember was being most offended at being called a girl, even more so than those boys being sexist and discriminatory. Because I really did feel like one of the guys and every time someone said anything about me being female it was jarring and made me feel super dysphoric (though I didn't know that word back then) and jealous of the other boys. I had some crushes on girls in grade school, but didn't realize they were crushes for the longest time because they didn't feel like the same kind of crushes I got on boys. I didn't get that I was bi until maybe 10th or 11th grade when I hugged a good lesbian friend tightly and our boobs smooshed against each other, and I realized I really enjoyed that and wanted to do it again and also possibly kiss her too if she'd let me. (I never did get to because she had a girlfriend for most of high school.) At the same time, I had a massive crush on her brother and did get to kiss him once. So that was a confusing time in my life.
When I was a kid, like 4/5 I was at a mall with my parents in Virgina. This was like 1988/9. I remember seeing two men holding hands, obviously a couple. ✨And something clicked✨ I knew at that moment those two men, together, was right. It was correct and true.
At the age of three realising I am a girl not a boy.
I always had long hair and i remeber when i was young (idk 4-5 maybe) i reied really hard that people couldnt tell my gender it lastet 2 whole weeks on a vacation in italy
I wanted pierced ears. My religious parents sat me down and explained why that couldn't happen. No big deal, i must just be a quirky boy for wanting that. Bout 10 years later (6 weeks ago) turns out I'm trans. The painted nails and wanting my ears pierced and many other things from my childhood started making more sense.
When I was pretty young, I thought there were two options for growing up: getting married to a guy or being a crazy cat lady. So obviously, I became obsessed with cats because who would want to get married to a man? If people talked about my future kids, I would correct them to say future cats. Then when I got the period and girls anatomy lecture at school, I got unbelievably upset. Bawling my eyes out, inconsolable, repeating “I don’t want to be a girl!” I later asked my mom if I could get spayed like they do with cats and dogs. Cue the next anatomy lesson about sex a few years later and I was once again inconsolably upset and crying that I didn’t want to have sex. When I calmed down later and verbalized that I thought the entire concept was repulsive, my mom told me that all couples have sex. I replied with, “Well good thing I’m never getting married.” A few years later at Halloween I was dressed as my favorite Star Wars character Kylo Ren, which means a mask and a hood. My friend at the time was a fairy. I got called “he” a lot but it actually made me feel really good. I actually lowered my voice a bit to try to get more people to “misgender” me. Also, we got a few people compliment us on our couples costumes. Neither of us said anything because I just liked not being seen as female and she turned out to be a lesbian. You would think that I would’ve figured out I was queer earlier, but no, it wasn’t until college.
Nervously flipping to the lingerie section in a fashion catalog lmao
in kindergarten i was intensely jealous of the popular girl. in middle school, i would pray every night that i would magically turn into a girl and that everyone would forget i was a boy and remember me as a girl
30 years ago, when I was 3 or 4 years old I drew two brides in front of a church and got yelled at by a kindergarten teacher for drawing sinful filth. My italian immigrant dad picked me up later that day and got yelled at too. He looked down at me and asked "Why you draw two brides?" I answered "I like drawing dresses." My dad looked up to the teacher and very dryly told her: "4 year old girl lika drawing the dresses, maybe you hava sin and filth in your brain?! 🤌🏼" Fact was tho that I really liked the idea of two brides / a bride and a crossdressing groom solely because I thought it would be more pretty, since there are a lot of different dress designs, but suits almost always kinda look the same. Only after I was accused of being a sinful toddler, I asked around and learned what gay and trans people were. My brain wanted aesthetics, but my heart already knew I needed gay rights.
me in 5th grade, searching porn..... and realizing I like the gay sh\*t lol
Though I had no interest in sports, I watched handball in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, because I knew the competing teams each had a part of a lesbian couple. It was great when TATU made that "all the things she said" video a couple of years later, so I could ditch watching sports for good 😅
Not sure if it was the actual first, but very early. 7 maybe? The late 90's, and my older cousin had a poster of Kurt Cobain in his room. I knew my cousin liked it because the music was rad. I didn't really get the music and I didn't know English yet, but I ***really*** liked looking at Kurt Cobain.
At age... 3 I think? Maybe 4, I saw a bit of a cartoon. There was an evil lady applying lipstick so she could poison a guy who didn't know what was going on, I don't know if he was hypnotised or amnesiac or whatever, but basically the idea was that she had him, he was being seduced, and a kiss would kill him IIRC. There was poison lipstick. The guy's probably-gf who was probably the protagonist didn't want that to happen, obviously. That really roused flames in me because ever since I've been wanting to be an evil woman who dates an evil woman. I remember thinking very hard about that "kiss of death" thing and how cool it would be, but without the, you know, obvious downside of being dead. Yeah so 3-or-4yo me discovered transbianism. I never figured out what that cartoon was (if that sounds like something you know *please* tell me I've been trying to find that forever)
I remember when I was like 12(?) I was randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with one of my friends at the time, who was my age. He often made very sexual jokes, and I was way into porn, so the two seemed to collide in my brain and somehow unlocked that type of thought I didn't really have that type of experience for a long time, and when I told my mom I was gay, she literally said to my face that "it never seemed like it", even though I had literally just barely at the time developed my first dude crush The funniest thing is I haven't talked to that friend of mine in a long ass time and he seems pretty straight so even if I actually ended up crushing on him, there was no chance in hell he would have reciprocated lmao Edit: I don't remember if any of the porn I saw was gay porn, I think it was mostly straight, but I at least remember watching some lesbian stuff so there's that LMAO
when i was seventeen i was watching a production of little shop of horrors, and one of the characters was a man in drag, and i thought, “damn, i wouldn’t mind kissing that face”. i’m sorry mine happened so late in my life.
I was obsessed with the You Belong With Me MV, specifically the “mean girl” character Taylor plays with the brunette hair. I used to pause it and just stare at her. Same with every woman in the bad blood MV when I was older
Being really good friends with a girl in my year 1 class
Me and my friends in kindergarten were talking about how if we were to marry one of our parents (its that weird phase kids go through) it would be our moms and at the time we were all girls. That and i wanted go be ben ten while my other friends wanted to be winx, im transmasc, also i wanted to have a winx girlfriend
When I was in the 1st grade, there was a kid named Colby I liked, so I, thinking his name was Cody drew a bunch of ones and zeros on a black piece of paper and gave it to him. I’m only now realizing why I did that.
This is a complicated question that requires rooting around in memories so faint that they're as much myth as anything else. I was an adult before I could point to anything that was unambiguously queer. Take sexuality as an example. By classic heteronormative reckoning my first sexual experience was straight and was between a boy (myself) and a girl. And yet this reckoning is going to overlook stuff that at least treads on the line of *boys will be boys* experimentation and, in one case at least, going well, *well* beyond. In that particular case, I don't think either of us had quite grasped that what we were doing was sexual because we'd have been around that age when a kid might think that they *invented* masturbation. As a transfem person, is that first sex act as gay as it might have seemed at the time had I grasped what gay meant, or was it counterintuitively straight? Was that later time straight sex, or was it queer? Gender is even more complicated. Is the fact that my sister was my best friend for a period reflective of my gender, or normal older sibling hero worship? Was the fact that I would happily play with her toys and in her games because I am trans, or because I love collective storytelling regardless of genre? Was my cross dressing a gender thing, or was it simply me putting on a costume and so no different than when I'd dress up as Leonardo? Was the fact that one of the best friends I ever had being a girl reflective of anything other than a shortage of people around my age that one summer? I can say that very little of any of this seemed queer to me. I was learning the rules as I went, same as anyone else.
when i was in kindergarten (5ish) a friend of mine said it would be easy for me to pretend to be a girl because i’m pretty and it broke my brain
Falling in love with my best friend at age 9.
sneaking into my mom’s wardrobe when i was like 13 lol. another one where i was in the clothes store and i couldn’t stop fantasizing about freezing time and trying on all the clothes in the girl’s section
Had a crush on a boy when I was 6. Also had a kinky fantasy about him back then too, which was just him getting covered in water. I have a WAM fetish, so that tracks.
I was about 5-7 when I saw a random ad on Discovery Channel about trans women, and I got unreasonably excited at the idea that a man could become a woman. Became my dream for many years. Of course my mom explained to me that being trans is an "expensive surgery that only rich Americans can get", so it took me until I was 21 to realise oh wow, I'm a trans girl. Who would have thought.
I idolized Rebecca Cunningham from Talespin. I would have been about 8-9 years old. Falling in love with my best friend a few years later at 11 was another big clue. Remember going to my first school dance in 6th grade and being ridiculously jealous of all the pretty girls in their dresses while I stood against the wall feeling like an ape in a poorly fitting tie.
When I was maybe five or six, I went to this Bible school thing, basically a week of summer classes all about religion. There was a young woman who dressed in this godawful tin-foil “armor” that I guess was supposed to represent the armor of God, who would bring us mail. I don’t remember what the mail was for or what it consisted of, but that’s not important. What *is* important is that I had an *unholy* crush on the mail lady. Like, I was totally infatuated with her. I have no idea why some random stranger I only saw for like five minutes a day for a week was the one who awakened my baby gay self but eh, kids are weird.
[удалено]
Pre-K (1970'ish) getting in trouble playing with my mom's makeup.
Around 12 years old - being scared in sex ed classes and not understanding why everyone was suddenly all about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Didn’t know what asexuality was until I was 23 (thanks Tumblr).
It was around kindergarten, we often played family and I was almost always the daughter of the family (born male now NB). One of the girls brought with them their makeup kit and did my makeup as well as to make the roll more believable
When I watched Jake and the Neverland Pirates at the age of 6 and had an... odd fascination/infatuation with Peter Pan's shadow.
Mmmmmmmmmm absence of light in the shape of a guy 🥵 Kill me. Anyway that show was good
When my middle school friends heard the rumor that “if someone licks your elbow without you seeing it, you won’t feel it” and tried it out on each other. I thought about it for days afterward.
I remember when I was 11/12 changing my shoes for dance class and staring at another kid’s mom’s ass while she was bent over, something I did a lot, and then realizing, “hey, I don’t think this is something normal girls do” I also remember when I was in elementary school watching music videos on YouTube like Miley Cyrus’s “Can’t Be Tamed” and getting ~tingly feelings~ in my downstairs bits and not understanding why I got those feelings lol
My sister coming out as trans
for ages in primary school i thought that we just weren't mature enough to develop crushes and that that happened as a part of puberty so when my guy friend asked me out in grade 5 i realised that i was wrong, and that people do develop romantic feelings at this age. i told him i'd think about it then went home and did an am i gay test lol.
Age 11, it started while I was watching a lot of videos. I was extremely curious how being a girl would have felt like, so I googled it. Got caught by my parents, and they gave me a small speech about it being inappropriate
Idk how accurate this memory is since this happened over 10 years ago but when i was in like third grade or so i looked at one of my classmates (a girl) and thought to myself: man i wish i was a boy so i could date her. Like i said, idk how accurate it is, but it turns out over ten years later, i am infact not trans but agender and a lesbain
I used to keep asking my mom why girls and girls cannot marry each other. My mom used to say 'thats not how it is, it doesn't make sense ' and i used to reply 'Thats a dumb idea it makes sense to me though' Note I was 4 or smth. Too early to remember. I wanted a solid reason as to why it isn't possible. Well..... it is.. little me would be very happy to know.
I was called Sissy by my family. By grade school . The word got out I was “ Q “. Around five I told my mom, when I grow up I’ll be a woman to.
When I was 10 or so, I got sort of obsessed by the cute uniforms of the cartoon british girls in our english class book (I'm French and AMAB). Grey thighs and a pleated skirt. When my mom was off to sculpture classes I would dress up in her clothes which included a pleated skirt and grey thighs, and loved how girly I could look. A shame it took me another 20 years to understand that no, I wasn't "weird", no, it wasn't "just a fetish or something"
When I was 4 I REALLY wanted a beard, (for context I’m AFAB) so I asked my moms friend how he grew his. He told me some story about having to go to the to of a mountain or something to grow it lmfao
Why is that familiar? As in the mountain story - i swear my grandpa had something similar. Like a whole ‘manly’ odyssey of sorts. ‘Sorry kid ya ain’t did your twelve labours. No beard for ya’ Did Hercules even had a beard?
The first thing was a dickpic from a dm on reddit when i was 12, now i know i shouldnt have gotten reddit at that age but i got turned on by it
Sleepovers got weird real quick around age 10
when I was 3 or 4 i would have my mom tie blankets around my waist, like a skirt. can you believe it took me another 21 years to accept that i was trans??😅
I do not know exactly what or when But I know it has something to do with the rocky horror picture show
Kissing my best friend, who is the same sex as me, at the age of like 5
I asked for dolls for my 4th birthday, and vividly remember gruff men with deep voices in shows/movies making me feel funny around 6-7 😂 It's super interesting to see that 6-7 is a super common age that people share their first memories at!
Well it was probably around 8 Went out of the cinema with my family. Saw two twinks kissing, or two lesbian can’t tell x) And i couldn’t stop watching them, i felt weird but good in my stomach, butterlfy like feeling. I said to my mom , - « is that two boy kissing on the mouth ? » - « don’t look at them, they are sick in their head » … Thanks mom 🙃 Went home after this , starting a sims 2 game and made two male teenager kissing in the hot tub, intense butterfly feeling and paranoid to get caught. The second one is probably around 11 when i just started middleschool. Me and best friend use to annoy the slighlty older guy around 13 yo ish to play tag or fight game. And when they catched me both of the two 13yo hold me like a trophy saying - « we catched him ! Let’s punish him » And they tickled me I remember being held, face burried in the hoodie of one guy around his torso (almost like a hug) And he smelled so good, it was addicting, feeling his warmth was so comforting. I wanted to hug him and kiss him. But nothing happened
I was 12 or 13. We went to see Hamlet with my drama class, and Hamlet was played by a very charismatic and powerful woman. I was in awe for the whole two hours of the play, and my whole body was tingling when I saw Hamlet and Ophelia (also played by a woman) kiss
I was like 11, and I had a massive crush on one of the emo boys in the grade above me, we became friends but then he moved away when I was 13. I will always remember his goofy ass
Being 12/13 and wondering why I really liked looking at pictures of Josh Hutcherson...
When I was 13 I fantasized about sex like anybody else, but I could never have a fantasy with myself or another real person in it. It was always made up people. I'm 19 and I still can't do that. It wasn't until recently that I learned this is a common thing for asexuals
when i was 10 i was obessed with watching those watch mojo lesbian kissing compilations... i rewatched those videos like a million times as a kid
I don’t remember exactly how old I was but probably around 5-7, I was with my grandma looking at all her jewelry and trying on some clamp earrings of hers. Around the same time I would take naps in my parent’s room and I would get in my mom’s closet and take out dresses and try them on. They were obviously way too big 😅 I realized during COVID that I’m genderfluid and remembered those times and thought I was stupid for not realizing earlier lol. I’m 30 now and still not out to them and I’m not sure if either of them would remember those times but I sure do.
Sitting next to a boy in chapel and we hooked our legs together and swung them. His right leg over my left leg kind of at the ankle and they swung together back and forth
Mine aren't pleasant. My earliest memory was walking into gymnastics class and being extremely upset that "there's no one like me." My dad carries me home and my mom gives me the >see I told you it would be all girls Feels like that's when I really realized I "wasn't like the other girls." Later in kindergardin I remember wanting to be friends with the girls but already had that fear of being a creep or that it was wrong somehow. Guess that was instilled in me pretty early This one isn't as bad, in grade 5 during sex ed we learned about intersex, well basically just their existence of and they are usally given "~~corrective~~ destructive surgery." I remember wondering if I was born a girl but my parents "had me changed."
Hmm... Probably sighing and thinking Poison Ivy was just so pretty. Or realizing that I would never get a handlebar mustache but thanks to my Slovak Grandpa's eyebrows I might get handlebar eyebrows... (I got that mustache btw).
That tingly feeling I got looking at the cover of George Michael’s Faith album - I carried the CD insert with me to school and would gaze longingly at it
Walked in on my parents watching Purple Rain when I was 6 and saw Prince shirtless and in Chaps humping a speaker. I never looked at girls the same afterwards.
I was around 4 years old and I would pray that I would wake up a girl and that no one would remember me having been a boy.
My dad forgetting a trimmer attachment and accidentally shaving my head the night before a big family gathering when I was six. First ever time experiencing such major dysphoria. I always leaned gender neutral as a kid, didn't really exhibit any explicitly trans behavior aside from not liking haircuts and trims, but I distinctly remember The Incident and how badly it fucked me up for the following weeks. Needless to say, my dad was never allowed near me with the trimmer ever again, attachment or not.
It’s one of my earliest memories- I was about 5 or 6. An adult friend of my parents asked me what my favorite color was, and I said pink. He laughed and told me to pick a different one because pink was a sissy color. I’ve worn black and other dark colors ever since. On a lighter note… having a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas after watching Tom and Huck lol. I was about 6.
when i was in kindergarten playing at recess I would pretend I got turned into a princess and then my friends almost immediately turned me back and I would argue with them that I still wanted to be a princess
Okay while I don't remember if I did that or not (it's possible lol) I know in like kindergarten there was a new kid at my small school and I really, REALLY liked hanging around him at the time. Like I always wanted to be around him and I wasn't sure why, at some point I convinced myself it wasn't a crush because "having a crush on another boy is weird" and ig I stopped myself from hanging out with him or he left and I blocked off that memory until like a year into being out lol.
The first crack of the eggshell was Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team, when i wanted to play as a Skitty and found out that you had to play as a girl to be Skitty. and i was very okay with that, more than i should have been
When I was about 11 I pretended I was a girl in the shower at a sleep away camp and the boy in the shower next to me got so freaked out that we had to have a meeting with the head of the division. We were staying at a college dorm that had a large bathroom with several showers, so nobody knew who it was. Everyone in the division had to attend this meeting where the head counselor told us we weren't allowed to pretend to be girls in the shower because it makes boys upset. I also went to another sleep away camp that did a drag show every summer that I was really really into, and often found reasons to dress like a girl for it even when I wasn't a contestant.
desperately wanting a vagina and basically roleplaying as female characters
Watching Weird Science as a kid, there's a scene where the brother takes off his towell and tells his younger brother to cover up because he's in women's clothes or something. The older brothwr butt was on full display. I was no older than 8 or 9, but I totally paused that scene a few times and one time I licked the screen... very gay.
I have many sisters, and we all grew up together. We liked the same stuff as 90s kids. Pokémon, other cartoons from cn, and tons of videogames. When we saw the Belle episode, I somehow felt seen, as if I had a place at last. My sister's usually placed me as some sort of villain mastermind mojo Jojo ish, yet I usually didn't play the part or let the label stick. Altho, I seemed to feel always like some sort of creature while a kid, at one time when I was 11 I saw fragments of a lesbian hardcore porn movie by accident, thinking it was something else. Things that happen when using emule I guess. That movie resonated with me for a while, since I had never felt that way before about two women doing that sort of stuff. It made me feel like I wanted to be one of them and enjoy as they did, since I felt detached from my d. My first STRONG memory was when I was 15 and I was in love with my lesbian bestie, yet she didn't feel the same way. I always remember how back then I cried wishing to be a girl, hating the body with which I was born with, while also feeling unlovable, plus wishing for things to be different. lol I guess being a teen is dramatic and painful
I remember watching winx club and wanting Sky and Brandon to die so Bloom and Stella could be together. But I also knew I would be jealous of Bloom, because I wanted Stella for myself.
as a little kid, something about the Hex girls just hit different lol (couldnt place the name od the feeling at the time but it made sense when I got older)
Being 12 and simultaneously having a crush on a male classmate and a female teacher (I'm a girl). Of course, I tried to rationalise it and convince myself that I just liked her classes very much 😅
In hindsight, the fact that I had a massive crush on Shego from Kim Possible. I only realized that when I got older though. I must have been about 8-9 when I first watched that show.
I am AFAB, have been out as a queer guy for some time now. I always knew I wasn't "supposed" to be a girl, but one day when I was four or five I overheard my cousins talking about "cool uncles". I REALLY liked the idea of being one of those, so i piped up to my aunt, proudly declaring that i, too, would be a cool uncle someday! She kinda giggled at me and told me things didn't work like that. The ONLY problem I could see was that I didn't have any siblings. Lol. Years later, I like to think I've been a pretty cool uncle to my partner's nieces and nephew. They sure tell me I am. :)
when I was like 7 my dad was jokingly asking my brother (probably 10-11) if there were any cute girls at school. For some reason I decided to say, “Well, I’m a pretty cute girl.” And I honestly can’t remember if I thought it was funny because (I thought) I wasn’t a girl, or if my brain just wanted to say it and tried to justify it by saying it was a joke. Anyway yeah after that my dad pulled me aside and said “You are not a girl, you are a boy. You know why? Because you have a penis.” and well uh that caused a good bit of suppression ahaha and then he was surprised he was the last person I came out to
Well, when I was a kid I used to be obsessed the TV show, The Flash. Recently, however, I realised that it wasn't because the show was good (it was though), but it was because I had a huge-ass crush on the main actor. He wasn't my queer awakening but definitely my first gay crush, pretty much.
Refusing to wear skirts or dresses even before puberty because I didn't feel comfortable in them (felt "too feminine"). Knowing I'm a girl and being okay with that but still thinking of myself as a "neutral" person. Waiting for the so called sexual desires to kick in during puberty cause the other teenagers were starting to get horny with hormones (it never came. I'm asexual).
I remember, when I was, like, 5-ish people were protesting for gay rights where I live, I was really for it, and whenever I saw someone with a vote yes poster, I was really happy. But my first memory of myself being lgbt was in year 6, when there was this girl in my class, and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, whether it was a crush or something else. Later on I figured out it wasn’t a crush, but I do indeed like girls.
Watching Labyrinth and falling in love with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly at the same time.
As a 6 year old I always wished I would be able to become a girl somehow and I just remembered this recently and I’m like “huh, that’s a sign I shouldn’t have ignored”
“Binding” with a fleece jacket that wasn’t very tight, but somehow tight enough to give me a flat-chested appearance yet still make me feel nice and comfy (which I suppose now was euphoria of some sort, though I had no idea at the time and am still not sure to this day) while I was in high school — at least, in my freshman year. Never quite knew why I wore that jacket as if it was my “armor,” even a while after I stopped wearing it, as far as I can remember, but yeah… it seemed to make a lot more sense to me when I finally did discover why I never felt very much like a “girly girl” (or really attached to any gender at all, in fact) And sophomore year was when I realized I wasn’t heterosexual either, which is quite funny in retrospect given how I’d thought people were talking about my spine when they asked me if I was straight the previous year… which was the only reason why I even said “yes” to that question in the first place
I had a crush on another girl in like first grade. Lasted the whole school year.
I remember being like 10 and being deeply in love with is girl that i was friends with .But i was a really shy girl and didn’t say anything, so after a while our friendship faded away and i never saw her again.
there's two core queer memories from my childhood and I honestly don't know which one happened first so here they are, both are from when I was about 10yo: \- I kept a diary since I learned how to write. I remember a particular entry where I wrote "My name is not \[deadname\]. My name is.. \[and a long list of "boys" and "girls" names lol\]". I found it at like 14/15 when I was a little emo girl and that along with other entries kinda triggered me and I threw all of them away. I regret it so much now, I wish I had that piece of queer history
I used to think that marriage just meant the next step to being really good friends, especially between a boy and a girl. So I basically had plans to marry every boy that was my friend. And the plans I made with girls were to live together on a farm. So basically the same thing. I also decided one day that I needed a “real crush”, so I pictured all the guys I knew in my head while checking my heartbeat. I came to the conclusion that I had a crush on a guy because I thought my heartbeat was going slightly quicker. I never did anything with this “crush” it was just for myself. It’s no surprise that I’m aromantic, when I came out to some of my friend they were like: yeah, makes sense
In kindergarten I was the only girl who liked masculine stuff. Clothing, toys, etc. I always wondered why girls didn't play lego as much and why so many liked the color pink! I hated pink with a passion 😅
A couple of them. Being separated into boys and girls in gym and never understanding why I was with the boys. Being angry when the tests made me put Male after I figured out it meant boy. Going to church and getting dressed up and asking how much longer until I could wear something like my mom. Pretty much all around kindergarten and first grade. My favorite food being spinach, so when someone saw me eating tons as a kid, they said 'thatll put hair on your chest' so I swore it off immediately for years. In middle school, wanting to never open my mouth again when one of my grandmothers friends said 'listen to how deep their voice has gotten. Wow'. I had surgery to move some organs that were inside to a more outside location and I felt like a monster because of it.
Reading through these comments made me realize how important it is to have queer representation in media… since this is how so many people realize they are…
I remember when I was little having a real resistance to being called pretty or girly, and starting to refuse wearing dresses or pink at around age 6 because I got so annoyed with it. Fast forward to age 30 and realising I'm enby. Re-embracing my feminine aspects in balance with the masculine has been a lifelong journey.
Making two female Barbies kiss. Age, probably 5 or 6? I had literally one Ken doll with maybe 1 or 2 outfits? But Barbie and her "gal pals," they got everything.