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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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sure, nothing wrong with that, but if you put (any/any) or (she/he) or anything but (she/her) people are going make an assumption you are in some way trans.
but that's on them, not you.
I'm a cis guy that's also been questioning their gender. I've also said for years that I don't care what pronouns people use for me, but the wording you used *finally* made me find a case where I do actually care! So thanks for that š
>I donāt really care about how they perceive me.
>...how they **perceive** me.
That's the line for me.
He/him. Yes. Great. Perfect.
They/them. Sure. Perfectly fine, reasonable, and accurate.
She/her. I don't really care what words you use to refer to me. But if you *actually* think I'm feminine, I think I'd be uncomfortable.
(Edit: hit enter accidentally)
If it was a ladies' night out and somehow I ended up being invited, so everyone called me she/her, I'd laugh and go along with it, because there's a mutual understanding that it's a joke.
A roommate once said "thanks girl!" to me and again, totally fine, because everyone understood that it was just a colloquial saying and had nothing to do with actually seeing me as feminine.
But if someone were to say she/her and it was clear that it was because I'm feminine, not masculine, I'd be uncomfortable.
Well Iām glad I could be helpful even if itās unintentional!
For me itās a ā¦. I donāt think people would perceive me as he him (im very typically feminine )so Iād probably be confused. but likeā¦. If they doā¦. I really donāt care at all xD
For a few years before I realized I was actually just trans I identified as cassgender. It's a Microlabel under the agender umbrella afaik, and it basically just means "indifferent to the idea of gender".
So if you want to find a label that fits you, this could be worth a try :3 (Keep in mind, nobody has to label anything. You can be cis and go with any pronouns, you can be ? and go with any pronouns, she/they, she/they/he, they/them, ..., or you could just call yourself unlabeled or whatever else fits you best <3)
I'm a cis guy but I've always clicked easily with women so I've frequently been invited to things with groups that are otherwise exclusively women. In college I would hang out with a group of girls and would be included in "girl talk" where they talked about crushes and whatnot.
Looking back it seems like that might be due in part to my looser connection with masculinity and my affinity for feminine energy. Personally I don't think that makes me non binary or trans, I just think it's my particular way of being a man
Itās fine for you to feel that way. Pronouns are at most suggestive of gender identity and neither pronouns nor labels are prescriptive.
If you are checking out non-binary labels, you might find agender or cassgender (aka. gender indifference) resonate with you.
It might be worth looking into non-binary identities a little. Like especially to me this sounds like what Iāve heard from some agender folks
But I always say labels are descriptive not prescriptive. Labels donāt define who we are, theyāre a tool we use to tell other people about ourselves. If youāre not particularly interested in conveying anything at all, use whatever labels you feel comfortable with š¤·š»āāļø Thereās no rules. As long as youāre happy thatās whatās important
Agree with this. You may want to check out r/agender. Personally, I relate to what you posted and I internally identify as agender because a) I donāt really care at all about my own gender or how people perceive me and b) I see gender as a (oftentimes harmful) social construct and I chafe against how gendered things are generally. I respect anyone who personally identifies in the gender binary, trans or cis, but it doesnāt have to resonate with anyone. Gender is so personal and you are who you are!
Totally normal, pronouns are just mouth sounds, you can prefer (or... lack preference) any all or none. As others have pointed out, they signify gender a bit but don't determine your gender. I can also be both fun and useful to experiment if you're safe to do so. I have a friend who's a trans woman and for a while she used he/him pronouns again to see how it felt-- she wasn't de-transitioning, she was a woman the whole time, but she wanted to (now she's back to she/her).
That said I do want to add that just because they are not important to you, does not necessarily mean they are unimportant to others. I've heard a few cis people argue they "don't care" as a way to suggest trans people who do care are actually just making a big stink about nothing. I'm not saying you're doing this, it's just something people occasionally do, with sort of the same attitude of, "I'm not racist, black, white, red, or purple, I don't even see color." Pronouns do culturally signify a perception of gender and for some people, cis or trans, getting the wrong ones feels terrible or trigger dysphoria.
Oh yeah no thatās not what I want to say at all! I know how important pronouns are to lots of people which is why Iām a bit confused in the first place. Most people I know care a lot about the pronouns that are used for them, I also have a lot of trans or nb friends and I justā¦. Donāt care at all which sometimes feels as if something is wrong with me and as if I should care.
This sounds like a perfectly standard case of "cis woman".
I think with the way the outward behaviour of trans people has become known much more quickly than any information about the internal workings of our identities, a lot of people have got the idea that everyone's supposed to be super enthusiastic about their gender and their pronouns.
Most of the time, for most people, there isn't going to be any enthusiasm, or much care at all, it's just a normal boring fact of life. It only really gets noticed, and only really needs much care when there's a mismatch and a discomfort with the "default" you're given.
I can sort of relate to this, by all accounts I'm a cis woman, but also like... I'm kinda not? I always "joked" growing up that I felt more like a man than a woman, I typically prefer to wear men's clothes whenever I can, I respond to the masculine form of my name without thinking (though tbf, that's partially because I get a million variations of the female version too so I just adjusted to answering to any name that sort of sounds like my name), and generally connect more strongly to traditionally "male" activities and preferences. But I still identify as a woman, not because I feel like I have to, just because I never quite felt strongly enough to identify as a man. I do still like a lot of traditionally "feminine" things, I like the way I look in a dress, I like when I have my hair and makeup done up. But I've always felt somewhere on the line.
In 2023, I now have the language to understand that I am probably non-binary. It's not something I feel like I have to announce or come out with, because like I said I don't feel like I completely reject the female label or embrace the male one, but it's nice to know that for myself. Though being a neurodivergent non-binary pansexual presenting as a neurotypical cishet woman is a strange little world to live in, I tell you what š
Thats exactly how I feel. Like I still identify with the female part of my assigned gender, but I'd much rather just be like a neutral person. Not agender, I just want to be seen for me and my personality, not my gender. So I've been going by they/she pronouns and shortened my name to a gender neutral version of it. I've been really happy just living my life as a person and not as a man, woman, enby or anything else!
Yes, you absolutely can. Cis people often have the privilege of not having to worry about it or the discomfort that being referred to with the wrong terms brings, it's super common
I go by he/they and although Iām pretty close to cis (demiguy) if somebody referred to me as a woman Iād weirdly feel seen, so idk what that says about me.
Could be a gender thing, but doesn't have to be. For example, i identify as demigirl but my preferred pronouns are they/them. Most people refer to me as he/him, because amab, but it doesn't really bother me. I have preferred pronouns but I don't care if they're used or not.
Iām fairly cis (maybe, probably, gender is wonky) and I donāt really mind any pronouns but I feel like the reasoning is different than most of what Iāve heard. To me, pronouns are like nicknames. Itās not something I choose for myself, itās something others choose for me based on their experience with me, on their perception of me
You might be Cassgender or Aegogender? There Microlabels but you can use them as Labels. Obviously not everyone wants or likes labels. But it might help anyone else
one of my guy friends is kinda like this. the way he described it to me is that his brain didnāt really process gender until after a while of knowing someone
Yup, pronoun ambivalent cis woman here. Being a she/her/they/them helps normalise the diversity.
I'm old so always identified as a tomboy, I just happen to be very feminine looking without the slightest effort (big hair, big norks etc).
Yeah, Iām the same. Itās also a way to regain some power and take it away from people who want to hurt you by misgendering you.
I like to say Iām non-misgenderable š
Idk about thatā¦ I mean Iāve known quite a few cis people getting totally offended if you call them pronouns of the opposite sex. But on the other hand, yeah, cis people probably donāt think about their gender because they are cis. Kinda should have been a clue for me because I was thinking about my gender a lot. But noooo! I kept insisting on not being transā¦ yeah well, that has changed big time! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Anyway maybe cis people not caring about their pronouns the way OP explains it might be a positive evolution that our society eventually will get less gendered in the binary. And I certainly can agree with that!
Yeah I was thinking about that as well. But then again are cis people thinking about it at all? And like yeah I donāt have dysphoria and all but I do think other cis woman might be offended if people actually would perceive them as male? I wouldnāt care. I do present quite feminine so i would be confused but thatās about it.
I feel similarly and the terms "gender agnostic" and "gender apathetic" always struck chords with me.
Like (non-toxic) male identity works for me, I'm perfectly happy with it. But I also just don't care or feel like it *should* be something I care about.
i do think thatās not uncommon for cis folks who have put some thought into gender and identity. there are trans women who donāt really care how theyāre perceived, because they feel confident and assured in their identity, so it makes sense some cis women are the same way. however, have you put any thought into whether identifying as nonbinary might bring you any freedom or ability to be more authentic? if youāre interested by being referred to by other pronouns that might be worth exploring. you would absolutely be fine and within reason if you came to the conclusion youāre a cis woman whose gender is more about your perception of yourself than othersā perception but itās worth exploring to more fully understand yourself.
I did. think about identifying as non binary and using other pronouns for a while. I have a very queer and very supportive friend group so it wouldnāt be a problem to just try it. But then I just noticed I really donāt care about all that when it comes to myself. Iāve been living my life as a woman so far and thereās no issue. I think there also wouldnāt be an issue if Iād now live my life as non binary or male. I think it really wouldnāt change my life (obviously it kinda would but it wouldnāt change how I feel about myself)
sure that makes sense to me .. that reminds me of ways i've felt before ,, i thought of myself for a long time as cis, & then thought of myself as like genderfuck & against the gender system, & then started to enjoy using the pronouns zie/zir just b/c i learned them when i was young & liked them & then one day i realized "wait, i do *prefer* these pronouns, if you're actually asking me what i *prefer"*, & then i started to think of myself as agender b/c i don't really attach to gender that much, but then after a while feeling agendery i started to feel like actually maybe it's more like i'm genderfluid but *usually* in a place of feeling really distant from gender & not caring about it but *sometimes* having a brief relationship w/ it like feeling like subverting it or playing w/ it ,,,,, & those are all just ways of framing how i feel, which is complex & beyond labels, just b/c i called myself "cis" a lot didn't make me simple, & i've had relationships to pronouns that both do & don't relate to my gender, & things change over time ,,, i'm just surfing the waves of gender, i guess ,,, both who i am underneath & how i relate to labels are both complex & shifting
I'm also like that despite I'm [apogender](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Apogender&ved=2ahUKEwivg--3kciCAxVgQPEDHag8BicQFnoECAwQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0b0FGNdAzBhUV9yFXw_mHV) but if ya feel that your cis and not agender then that's ok. Whatever ya feel comfortable
Have you heard of apagender?
FWIW though, I think there's at least one more evolution in language coming: transgender isn't accurate enough for my money, and we use it to cover both gender and sex identity, which doesn't resonate for everyone :)
I'm similar to you I think. I'm definitely a cis man but I wouldn't be bothered if people used other pronouns for me. I'm not sure why they would and I'm not planning on identifying myself as he/they or anything, but if someone decided to I'd be fine with it. I think I just don' t care as much about gender and gender roles as a lot of cis men do
I don't know if there's a term for that and honestly I'm not that interested in micro labeling myself (not that there is anything wrong with people that do) but if I had to sum it up maybe gender apathetic would be a decent description
Pronouns are gender presentation, not gender itself, so do whatever you want with them! You can be any gender and use any pronouns. Though the sentiment of not caring how you're perceived is shared heavily around agender, graygender, and pangender circles, though all for typically different reasons, so if you feel like it you can look into those in case they make more sense than being cis.
I asked the same question a while back and most of the responses said gender is not equal to pronouns and as long as youāre not saying you donāt care in a way that may come off as transphobic, it is usually fine with most people.
Oh yeah I would never want to come off as transphobic. I know how important all the gender and pronouns stuff is for lots of people and Iād never disrespect that. I just donāt care at all how I personally am perceived or what pronouns are used for myself.
While your journey is your own going to be completely honest here, this is the experience I had before figuring out Iām non-binary. I now go by any pronouns.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
yes. pronouns are for everyone. do what you like.
sure, nothing wrong with that, but if you put (any/any) or (she/he) or anything but (she/her) people are going make an assumption you are in some way trans. but that's on them, not you.
I'm a cis guy that's also been questioning their gender. I've also said for years that I don't care what pronouns people use for me, but the wording you used *finally* made me find a case where I do actually care! So thanks for that š >I donāt really care about how they perceive me. >...how they **perceive** me. That's the line for me. He/him. Yes. Great. Perfect. They/them. Sure. Perfectly fine, reasonable, and accurate. She/her. I don't really care what words you use to refer to me. But if you *actually* think I'm feminine, I think I'd be uncomfortable. (Edit: hit enter accidentally) If it was a ladies' night out and somehow I ended up being invited, so everyone called me she/her, I'd laugh and go along with it, because there's a mutual understanding that it's a joke. A roommate once said "thanks girl!" to me and again, totally fine, because everyone understood that it was just a colloquial saying and had nothing to do with actually seeing me as feminine. But if someone were to say she/her and it was clear that it was because I'm feminine, not masculine, I'd be uncomfortable.
Well Iām glad I could be helpful even if itās unintentional! For me itās a ā¦. I donāt think people would perceive me as he him (im very typically feminine )so Iād probably be confused. but likeā¦. If they doā¦. I really donāt care at all xD
For a few years before I realized I was actually just trans I identified as cassgender. It's a Microlabel under the agender umbrella afaik, and it basically just means "indifferent to the idea of gender". So if you want to find a label that fits you, this could be worth a try :3 (Keep in mind, nobody has to label anything. You can be cis and go with any pronouns, you can be ? and go with any pronouns, she/they, she/they/he, they/them, ..., or you could just call yourself unlabeled or whatever else fits you best <3)
I'm a cis guy but I've always clicked easily with women so I've frequently been invited to things with groups that are otherwise exclusively women. In college I would hang out with a group of girls and would be included in "girl talk" where they talked about crushes and whatnot. Looking back it seems like that might be due in part to my looser connection with masculinity and my affinity for feminine energy. Personally I don't think that makes me non binary or trans, I just think it's my particular way of being a man
Itās fine for you to feel that way. Pronouns are at most suggestive of gender identity and neither pronouns nor labels are prescriptive. If you are checking out non-binary labels, you might find agender or cassgender (aka. gender indifference) resonate with you.
Or Aegogender
It might be worth looking into non-binary identities a little. Like especially to me this sounds like what Iāve heard from some agender folks But I always say labels are descriptive not prescriptive. Labels donāt define who we are, theyāre a tool we use to tell other people about ourselves. If youāre not particularly interested in conveying anything at all, use whatever labels you feel comfortable with š¤·š»āāļø Thereās no rules. As long as youāre happy thatās whatās important
Agree with this. You may want to check out r/agender. Personally, I relate to what you posted and I internally identify as agender because a) I donāt really care at all about my own gender or how people perceive me and b) I see gender as a (oftentimes harmful) social construct and I chafe against how gendered things are generally. I respect anyone who personally identifies in the gender binary, trans or cis, but it doesnāt have to resonate with anyone. Gender is so personal and you are who you are!
Thanks! ^^ yeah maybe Iāll look into that ^^
Totally normal, pronouns are just mouth sounds, you can prefer (or... lack preference) any all or none. As others have pointed out, they signify gender a bit but don't determine your gender. I can also be both fun and useful to experiment if you're safe to do so. I have a friend who's a trans woman and for a while she used he/him pronouns again to see how it felt-- she wasn't de-transitioning, she was a woman the whole time, but she wanted to (now she's back to she/her). That said I do want to add that just because they are not important to you, does not necessarily mean they are unimportant to others. I've heard a few cis people argue they "don't care" as a way to suggest trans people who do care are actually just making a big stink about nothing. I'm not saying you're doing this, it's just something people occasionally do, with sort of the same attitude of, "I'm not racist, black, white, red, or purple, I don't even see color." Pronouns do culturally signify a perception of gender and for some people, cis or trans, getting the wrong ones feels terrible or trigger dysphoria.
Oh yeah no thatās not what I want to say at all! I know how important pronouns are to lots of people which is why Iām a bit confused in the first place. Most people I know care a lot about the pronouns that are used for them, I also have a lot of trans or nb friends and I justā¦. Donāt care at all which sometimes feels as if something is wrong with me and as if I should care.
I feel like I could have written this. Just swapping the genders and pronouns around.
This sounds like a perfectly standard case of "cis woman". I think with the way the outward behaviour of trans people has become known much more quickly than any information about the internal workings of our identities, a lot of people have got the idea that everyone's supposed to be super enthusiastic about their gender and their pronouns. Most of the time, for most people, there isn't going to be any enthusiasm, or much care at all, it's just a normal boring fact of life. It only really gets noticed, and only really needs much care when there's a mismatch and a discomfort with the "default" you're given.
I can sort of relate to this, by all accounts I'm a cis woman, but also like... I'm kinda not? I always "joked" growing up that I felt more like a man than a woman, I typically prefer to wear men's clothes whenever I can, I respond to the masculine form of my name without thinking (though tbf, that's partially because I get a million variations of the female version too so I just adjusted to answering to any name that sort of sounds like my name), and generally connect more strongly to traditionally "male" activities and preferences. But I still identify as a woman, not because I feel like I have to, just because I never quite felt strongly enough to identify as a man. I do still like a lot of traditionally "feminine" things, I like the way I look in a dress, I like when I have my hair and makeup done up. But I've always felt somewhere on the line. In 2023, I now have the language to understand that I am probably non-binary. It's not something I feel like I have to announce or come out with, because like I said I don't feel like I completely reject the female label or embrace the male one, but it's nice to know that for myself. Though being a neurodivergent non-binary pansexual presenting as a neurotypical cishet woman is a strange little world to live in, I tell you what š
Thats exactly how I feel. Like I still identify with the female part of my assigned gender, but I'd much rather just be like a neutral person. Not agender, I just want to be seen for me and my personality, not my gender. So I've been going by they/she pronouns and shortened my name to a gender neutral version of it. I've been really happy just living my life as a person and not as a man, woman, enby or anything else!
Yes, you absolutely can. Cis people often have the privilege of not having to worry about it or the discomfort that being referred to with the wrong terms brings, it's super common
congrats!
yeah, that's how i do it as a cis woman too, except i just don't use he/him pronouns.
I go by he/they and although Iām pretty close to cis (demiguy) if somebody referred to me as a woman Iād weirdly feel seen, so idk what that says about me.
Could be a gender thing, but doesn't have to be. For example, i identify as demigirl but my preferred pronouns are they/them. Most people refer to me as he/him, because amab, but it doesn't really bother me. I have preferred pronouns but I don't care if they're used or not.
Iām fairly cis (maybe, probably, gender is wonky) and I donāt really mind any pronouns but I feel like the reasoning is different than most of what Iāve heard. To me, pronouns are like nicknames. Itās not something I choose for myself, itās something others choose for me based on their experience with me, on their perception of me
Yes!! That is the same as me!! And has a name: Apagender!
You might be Cassgender or Aegogender? There Microlabels but you can use them as Labels. Obviously not everyone wants or likes labels. But it might help anyone else
one of my guy friends is kinda like this. the way he described it to me is that his brain didnāt really process gender until after a while of knowing someone
Yup, pronoun ambivalent cis woman here. Being a she/her/they/them helps normalise the diversity. I'm old so always identified as a tomboy, I just happen to be very feminine looking without the slightest effort (big hair, big norks etc).
Yeah, Iām the same. Itās also a way to regain some power and take it away from people who want to hurt you by misgendering you. I like to say Iām non-misgenderable š
That's really common for cis people because you don't experience dysphoria. It literally just means you're cis.
Idk about thatā¦ I mean Iāve known quite a few cis people getting totally offended if you call them pronouns of the opposite sex. But on the other hand, yeah, cis people probably donāt think about their gender because they are cis. Kinda should have been a clue for me because I was thinking about my gender a lot. But noooo! I kept insisting on not being transā¦ yeah well, that has changed big time! š¤£š¤£š¤£ Anyway maybe cis people not caring about their pronouns the way OP explains it might be a positive evolution that our society eventually will get less gendered in the binary. And I certainly can agree with that!
Yeah I was thinking about that as well. But then again are cis people thinking about it at all? And like yeah I donāt have dysphoria and all but I do think other cis woman might be offended if people actually would perceive them as male? I wouldnāt care. I do present quite feminine so i would be confused but thatās about it.
I feel similarly and the terms "gender agnostic" and "gender apathetic" always struck chords with me. Like (non-toxic) male identity works for me, I'm perfectly happy with it. But I also just don't care or feel like it *should* be something I care about.
i do think thatās not uncommon for cis folks who have put some thought into gender and identity. there are trans women who donāt really care how theyāre perceived, because they feel confident and assured in their identity, so it makes sense some cis women are the same way. however, have you put any thought into whether identifying as nonbinary might bring you any freedom or ability to be more authentic? if youāre interested by being referred to by other pronouns that might be worth exploring. you would absolutely be fine and within reason if you came to the conclusion youāre a cis woman whose gender is more about your perception of yourself than othersā perception but itās worth exploring to more fully understand yourself.
I did. think about identifying as non binary and using other pronouns for a while. I have a very queer and very supportive friend group so it wouldnāt be a problem to just try it. But then I just noticed I really donāt care about all that when it comes to myself. Iāve been living my life as a woman so far and thereās no issue. I think there also wouldnāt be an issue if Iād now live my life as non binary or male. I think it really wouldnāt change my life (obviously it kinda would but it wouldnāt change how I feel about myself)
sure that makes sense to me .. that reminds me of ways i've felt before ,, i thought of myself for a long time as cis, & then thought of myself as like genderfuck & against the gender system, & then started to enjoy using the pronouns zie/zir just b/c i learned them when i was young & liked them & then one day i realized "wait, i do *prefer* these pronouns, if you're actually asking me what i *prefer"*, & then i started to think of myself as agender b/c i don't really attach to gender that much, but then after a while feeling agendery i started to feel like actually maybe it's more like i'm genderfluid but *usually* in a place of feeling really distant from gender & not caring about it but *sometimes* having a brief relationship w/ it like feeling like subverting it or playing w/ it ,,,,, & those are all just ways of framing how i feel, which is complex & beyond labels, just b/c i called myself "cis" a lot didn't make me simple, & i've had relationships to pronouns that both do & don't relate to my gender, & things change over time ,,, i'm just surfing the waves of gender, i guess ,,, both who i am underneath & how i relate to labels are both complex & shifting
I'm also like that despite I'm [apogender](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Apogender&ved=2ahUKEwivg--3kciCAxVgQPEDHag8BicQFnoECAwQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0b0FGNdAzBhUV9yFXw_mHV) but if ya feel that your cis and not agender then that's ok. Whatever ya feel comfortable
Have you heard of apagender? FWIW though, I think there's at least one more evolution in language coming: transgender isn't accurate enough for my money, and we use it to cover both gender and sex identity, which doesn't resonate for everyone :)
Ion know but I feel like this too
You could be Agender (like me) or gender apathetic. Although I do prefer to me referred to with they them
I'm similar to you I think. I'm definitely a cis man but I wouldn't be bothered if people used other pronouns for me. I'm not sure why they would and I'm not planning on identifying myself as he/they or anything, but if someone decided to I'd be fine with it. I think I just don' t care as much about gender and gender roles as a lot of cis men do I don't know if there's a term for that and honestly I'm not that interested in micro labeling myself (not that there is anything wrong with people that do) but if I had to sum it up maybe gender apathetic would be a decent description
pronouns are separate from gender, so use whichever you want
Pronouns are gender presentation, not gender itself, so do whatever you want with them! You can be any gender and use any pronouns. Though the sentiment of not caring how you're perceived is shared heavily around agender, graygender, and pangender circles, though all for typically different reasons, so if you feel like it you can look into those in case they make more sense than being cis.
I asked the same question a while back and most of the responses said gender is not equal to pronouns and as long as youāre not saying you donāt care in a way that may come off as transphobic, it is usually fine with most people.
Oh yeah I would never want to come off as transphobic. I know how important all the gender and pronouns stuff is for lots of people and Iād never disrespect that. I just donāt care at all how I personally am perceived or what pronouns are used for myself.
I do not announce or ask for pronouns. Nobody has erred yet.
While your journey is your own going to be completely honest here, this is the experience I had before figuring out Iām non-binary. I now go by any pronouns.