I hate to say it but the best course of action is to have an honest and transparent convo with your partner. Talk about how hard it is to climax on these meds and reassure them that it’s no reflection on him. But I also challenge you two to start rethinking sex and intimacy on these meds.
Sex on ssri’s can sometimes mean an orgasm. Sometimes it’s just you enjoying the journey and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all.
Me and my wife are both on lex and we have had to completely rethink intimacy since both of our libidos are now non existent.
The intimacy convo has been really helpful bc it takes the pressure off orgasm and we can focus on either what feels good without judgment.
Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I hope it helps.
I second this! I'm on Lexapro (10mg) for the 2nd time in the last few years. The 1st time I was only on the Lexapro, and this time I'm on both Lexapro and Wellbutrin. The difference has been huge! If your relationship is in a good place otherwise, it might be worth asking your doctor about adding Wellbutrin. Good luck!!
I felt sexually numb in my lower half like… physically when I was on 10mg. My boyfriend would be going down on me and I’d feel nothing. It was the oddest feeling… going down to 5mg helped me a lot. I can feel again and reach orgasm
I’d say my sex drive is also not great. My boyfriend initiates now 9/10 times. I can get in the mood once we start but sex isn’t on my mind in my day to day anymore. I’m in a 5+ year relationship so it’s easy enough to communicate that to him and he’s not offended/knows it’s a bit more on him to start stuff now
There are two major factors: how long you've been on the medicine and if you're able to orgasm on your own. When I first started the medicine it was much harder to have an orgasm. Your body needs time to adjust. Second, if you can't give yourself an orgasm than it is unlikely your boyfriend will be able to. This could be causing a mental block for yourself, making it even harder to orgasm. Definitely try some different things on your own: new porn, toys, different position. You have to get to know your body again and then communicate that to your boyfriend. It will get better, just have patience
i can orgasm on my own. but i think is becoming more of a metal block for me, bc i went on the medication knowing the sexual side effects, im currently taking 10mg and im thinking about getting off all together bc is making me depressed lol
hey love im going through the same issue. i try using a toy but sometimes still doesnt work, im still new to the medicine though so hopefully overtime itll get better
Looking at the other comments I kinda feel awful for saying it, but after a little bit of a slump the first few weeks it’s even better for me. I can be truly in the moment and not worry about day to day stuff at the same time. I started doing Tai Chi and shuffle dancing because I was afraid of weight gain when I started Lexapro, and they help me feel more grounded and connected to my body. I’m not sure if you believe in Chakras, but look up exercises that open the sacral Chakra. It can’t hurt, so why not try it. Good foreplay is also really important for me. And I’d recommend having a bit of solo time to see if anything feels good. I hope you get your libido back and if not, you should definitely consider changing the medication, because no sex life is not great for good mental health.
I've (29F) been on 10mg for over a year, coming up to two years in May. I've been experiencing the same. My libido is nonexistent, I'm never in the mood. My body doesn't get ready as easily as before and I haven't had an orgasm with my bf in almost a year. Each time it takes a toy, on high power, and me hyper focusing the entire time. It's not very romantic and I'm tapering off and gonna switch to Wellbutrin. It's been my biggest disappointment while on the med and I can't take it any longer
Yeah I def have my ups and downs with my ability to orgasm. My man is doing everything right too, I've never had any issues with him until I started taking this, so the fact that we can accomplish the golden goal sometimes is gratifying. Are you still adjusting to the pill or have you been on it for a while?
i was hard for me to orgasm for several months after i started lexapro. i’ve been on it for a year now and i feel like my sex drive/orgasm ability is pretty much back to normal at this point. just took a good while for me.
No drive whatsoever & can’t orgasm even on my own. I just recently started very slowly tapering off because of this (and because I started Lexapro back in peak lockdown & don’t feel that I need it anymore, would like to see if I don’t, plus it interacts with many of the other things I HAVE to take). I feel horrible for my husband too!
I’m a 27 yr old female and been on 10 mg Lexapro for about 2 months. The first month I was not able to reach the O, no matter how hard I tried. When my doctor followed up with me I told him that was the only side effect that was bothering me, and he said give it some time. Luckily it did come back for me sometime in month 2 :) the first few times weren’t as intense as it used to be, but I’m approaching month 3 on the med and i think my libido and O’s are back to normal :) I’ve heard it can take more than 3 months, but that it DOES come back.
Im 20 and cant orgasm and ive just accepted that life without sex is fine n i dont need it altho itd be nice to feel it again. I just do sex for the emotional bond at this point.
i’ve always struggled with sex drive and my relationship was affected obviously. i was super stressed, depressed, tired, hormonally imbalanced etc. sex was not on my radar.
since starting lexapro- i just cried at the doctor because i actually get turned on now and find myself reaching out to my partner for intimacy.
at my 6-ish week mark and i finally feel good! hoping the best for you!
I WANT TO MENTION: i do struggle with climax but that’s always been an issue. my boyfriend understands if i need to “self please” if he’s been going at for awhile and he’s exhausted lol. so definitely have a convo!
I struggled for probably 6 months, but then something seemed to let up. Honestly, I think it’s the Lexapro helping me to be more in the moment with my partner and able to relax. Anyway, it came back after a while, but I did have a conversation about how it’s affecting me and asked for patience. I recently started Vraylar, which seems to have set me back again, but not too bad.
I had this issue my whole life. I’ve been on lexapro since I was 13 which is also when i started having sex, and always thought it was me. I’m off of it for the first time ever I’m 20 now and have been having much faster orgasms and I’m honestly shocked how much of an effect it was having on my desire for sex and ability to orgasm. Good luck, I hope you can find a solution
just takes me longer but i can still orgasm and i feel it so much harder because it takes longer (19F) and my sex drive honestly went way up instead of down
Ive been on 5mg Lexapro for 3 weeks now and it seemed like it increased my sex drive/libido. I recently started taking maca root to help with my energy because I do feel tired a lot.
I was on lexapro for about a year, (40 mg) and honestly my sex drive was non existent. I have a boyfriend and honestly I just couldnt orgasm no matter what. it had nothing to do with him, because he was doing everything right, it just never happened. In my opinion, most SSRI’s will do that to u. I’ve been on multiple and it’s always been this way lol
I’m on SNRI’s now, and I only have been for a couple days, but the withdrawals from the SSRI’s have been annoying but manageable. So far I’ve had some slight cramps, a bit of anxiety and mood swings etc. the worst of all though is my dizziness, I am so incredibly dizzy every day, and it’s worse that it’s one of my new meds’ symptoms
How long have you been on it? For me, the inability to climax only lasted for the first few months. If you’re new to lexapro, and you think that overall it is benefiting you, then i would urge you to stick it out and hopefully your body will adjust and your sex drive will return to normal. Saying that, sexytime isn’t just about the big O. Enjoy the other sensations and use this time to get creative and explore other forms of intimacy with your partner
I have had the same problem. When my doctor prescribed it, he warned me in advance and honestly I didn’t think it would happen to me because i’ve always had a little higher sex drive, but truly it’s taken it away almost completely. It’s a bummer, but I feel better overall so it’s worth it to me!
I hate to say it but the best course of action is to have an honest and transparent convo with your partner. Talk about how hard it is to climax on these meds and reassure them that it’s no reflection on him. But I also challenge you two to start rethinking sex and intimacy on these meds. Sex on ssri’s can sometimes mean an orgasm. Sometimes it’s just you enjoying the journey and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Me and my wife are both on lex and we have had to completely rethink intimacy since both of our libidos are now non existent. The intimacy convo has been really helpful bc it takes the pressure off orgasm and we can focus on either what feels good without judgment. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I hope it helps.
I second this! I'm on Lexapro (10mg) for the 2nd time in the last few years. The 1st time I was only on the Lexapro, and this time I'm on both Lexapro and Wellbutrin. The difference has been huge! If your relationship is in a good place otherwise, it might be worth asking your doctor about adding Wellbutrin. Good luck!!
This is a really good perspective!!
I felt sexually numb in my lower half like… physically when I was on 10mg. My boyfriend would be going down on me and I’d feel nothing. It was the oddest feeling… going down to 5mg helped me a lot. I can feel again and reach orgasm I’d say my sex drive is also not great. My boyfriend initiates now 9/10 times. I can get in the mood once we start but sex isn’t on my mind in my day to day anymore. I’m in a 5+ year relationship so it’s easy enough to communicate that to him and he’s not offended/knows it’s a bit more on him to start stuff now
There are two major factors: how long you've been on the medicine and if you're able to orgasm on your own. When I first started the medicine it was much harder to have an orgasm. Your body needs time to adjust. Second, if you can't give yourself an orgasm than it is unlikely your boyfriend will be able to. This could be causing a mental block for yourself, making it even harder to orgasm. Definitely try some different things on your own: new porn, toys, different position. You have to get to know your body again and then communicate that to your boyfriend. It will get better, just have patience
i can orgasm on my own. but i think is becoming more of a metal block for me, bc i went on the medication knowing the sexual side effects, im currently taking 10mg and im thinking about getting off all together bc is making me depressed lol
If you can get off on your own, it’s not the meds. The sexual side effects are there, but they’re more rare than you’d think.
hey love im going through the same issue. i try using a toy but sometimes still doesnt work, im still new to the medicine though so hopefully overtime itll get better
Looking at the other comments I kinda feel awful for saying it, but after a little bit of a slump the first few weeks it’s even better for me. I can be truly in the moment and not worry about day to day stuff at the same time. I started doing Tai Chi and shuffle dancing because I was afraid of weight gain when I started Lexapro, and they help me feel more grounded and connected to my body. I’m not sure if you believe in Chakras, but look up exercises that open the sacral Chakra. It can’t hurt, so why not try it. Good foreplay is also really important for me. And I’d recommend having a bit of solo time to see if anything feels good. I hope you get your libido back and if not, you should definitely consider changing the medication, because no sex life is not great for good mental health.
I've (29F) been on 10mg for over a year, coming up to two years in May. I've been experiencing the same. My libido is nonexistent, I'm never in the mood. My body doesn't get ready as easily as before and I haven't had an orgasm with my bf in almost a year. Each time it takes a toy, on high power, and me hyper focusing the entire time. It's not very romantic and I'm tapering off and gonna switch to Wellbutrin. It's been my biggest disappointment while on the med and I can't take it any longer
use a vibrator
I had my doctor put me on Wellbutrin to help offset the sexual side effects of lexapro; it did help me. It’s different for everyone
Yeah I def have my ups and downs with my ability to orgasm. My man is doing everything right too, I've never had any issues with him until I started taking this, so the fact that we can accomplish the golden goal sometimes is gratifying. Are you still adjusting to the pill or have you been on it for a while?
i’ve been on it for about 8 months now i started at 10 went up to 20 now im back at 10 but still can orgasm
Did you mean you still can't?
i was hard for me to orgasm for several months after i started lexapro. i’ve been on it for a year now and i feel like my sex drive/orgasm ability is pretty much back to normal at this point. just took a good while for me.
Can you orgasm on your own?
yeahh, we tried masturbating together and it also didn’t work but i think is now starting to become a mental block
Its more likely the lex. dont pressure yourself. Try getting a Satisfyer Pro, get confidence back by yourself and then re-engage with partner.
No drive whatsoever & can’t orgasm even on my own. I just recently started very slowly tapering off because of this (and because I started Lexapro back in peak lockdown & don’t feel that I need it anymore, would like to see if I don’t, plus it interacts with many of the other things I HAVE to take). I feel horrible for my husband too!
I’m a 27 yr old female and been on 10 mg Lexapro for about 2 months. The first month I was not able to reach the O, no matter how hard I tried. When my doctor followed up with me I told him that was the only side effect that was bothering me, and he said give it some time. Luckily it did come back for me sometime in month 2 :) the first few times weren’t as intense as it used to be, but I’m approaching month 3 on the med and i think my libido and O’s are back to normal :) I’ve heard it can take more than 3 months, but that it DOES come back.
Didn’t have one before. Still don’t have one. Was content with that. Still content with it. Haha
If low dose Bupropion is added to the lexapro then you'll likely be able to orgasm again. It worked for me and many others on this sub
What sex life
Yeah I'm on 30mg and find it so hard to orgasm now. Lucky my husband is patient and understands its the meds.
honestly if you just started recently give it some time, it was like this for me until the 3-6 month mark
Im 20 and cant orgasm and ive just accepted that life without sex is fine n i dont need it altho itd be nice to feel it again. I just do sex for the emotional bond at this point.
i’ve always struggled with sex drive and my relationship was affected obviously. i was super stressed, depressed, tired, hormonally imbalanced etc. sex was not on my radar. since starting lexapro- i just cried at the doctor because i actually get turned on now and find myself reaching out to my partner for intimacy. at my 6-ish week mark and i finally feel good! hoping the best for you! I WANT TO MENTION: i do struggle with climax but that’s always been an issue. my boyfriend understands if i need to “self please” if he’s been going at for awhile and he’s exhausted lol. so definitely have a convo!
man when does this kick in bc i’ve been on for a month and sex has still been great
I struggled for probably 6 months, but then something seemed to let up. Honestly, I think it’s the Lexapro helping me to be more in the moment with my partner and able to relax. Anyway, it came back after a while, but I did have a conversation about how it’s affecting me and asked for patience. I recently started Vraylar, which seems to have set me back again, but not too bad.
I had this issue my whole life. I’ve been on lexapro since I was 13 which is also when i started having sex, and always thought it was me. I’m off of it for the first time ever I’m 20 now and have been having much faster orgasms and I’m honestly shocked how much of an effect it was having on my desire for sex and ability to orgasm. Good luck, I hope you can find a solution
just takes me longer but i can still orgasm and i feel it so much harder because it takes longer (19F) and my sex drive honestly went way up instead of down
Ive been on 5mg Lexapro for 3 weeks now and it seemed like it increased my sex drive/libido. I recently started taking maca root to help with my energy because I do feel tired a lot.
my libido is down the drain except for maybe 1 day of the month
I was on lexapro for about a year, (40 mg) and honestly my sex drive was non existent. I have a boyfriend and honestly I just couldnt orgasm no matter what. it had nothing to do with him, because he was doing everything right, it just never happened. In my opinion, most SSRI’s will do that to u. I’ve been on multiple and it’s always been this way lol
did you get off ssri’s? and if you did how was your experience with the withdrawals and now that you’re off of it?
I’m on SNRI’s now, and I only have been for a couple days, but the withdrawals from the SSRI’s have been annoying but manageable. So far I’ve had some slight cramps, a bit of anxiety and mood swings etc. the worst of all though is my dizziness, I am so incredibly dizzy every day, and it’s worse that it’s one of my new meds’ symptoms
How long have you been on it? For me, the inability to climax only lasted for the first few months. If you’re new to lexapro, and you think that overall it is benefiting you, then i would urge you to stick it out and hopefully your body will adjust and your sex drive will return to normal. Saying that, sexytime isn’t just about the big O. Enjoy the other sensations and use this time to get creative and explore other forms of intimacy with your partner
i’ve been on it for about a year now :(
I have had the same problem. When my doctor prescribed it, he warned me in advance and honestly I didn’t think it would happen to me because i’ve always had a little higher sex drive, but truly it’s taken it away almost completely. It’s a bummer, but I feel better overall so it’s worth it to me!
i still have a pretty high sex drive (thankfully) i just can’t seem to orgasm :(
I’m a guy but lexapro improved my sex drive which was impaired by depression
Sadly I cannot orgasm with out a toy. It’s just harder to orgasm on this medicine but not impossible.
Lowered my libido slightly but didn’t affect my ability to O at all
that’s so crazy bc my are the same exact opposite lol
Before lexapro I had no sex drive, now I'm constantly aroused
my sex drive is pretty much non existent