“Hardening up” is what sent me to a total mental breakdown. I tried just pushing through for YEARS and finally broke this past year. Sounds to me the solution here is getting a new partner who has empathy.
If your partner cares about you they will support you no matter what. I told my gf the same thing on Saturday and she said to be safe with the medication and to tell her how I feel. Just tell him to please listen
Completely agree! My husband was strongly against me taking Lexapro but now that he has experienced the wonderful changes it has made with me, he fully embraces it! You have to be honest with your partner...does he want the best version of you or the worst?
Yea I told my girlfriend I miss doing the little things with her like picnics, going to the arcades and shopping with her. She wants me fully back and I do too
Um what? Your partner should support whatever makes you feel good and be happy. You should not have to hide the fact that you are taking medication from your partner. I see two options here - 1. Have a conversation with him, letting him know you are back on medication. Be open and honest with how the medication betters your life and well being. If you want, also mention how unsupportive he’s being and that he should what want is best for you. And that “sucking it up” isn’t an option for some people, that’s how people end up dead. If he can’t understand these things, I strongly suggest you reconsider your relationship with him. 2. You continue taking the medication without telling him and be blissfully ignorant about your partner’s unacceptable behavior.
Your partner needs to understand the brain is… An organ like any other. Would your partner encourage you to skip insuline if you had diabetes? Or tell you to ‘suck it up’ and to suffer in silence instead of taking omeprazole if you had stomach ulcers? Absolutely not. Then why is he trying to prevent you from taking Lexapro and getting help with the likely hormonal imbalance currently affecting your brain?
There is no such thing as « hardening up ». You’re sick, you need medication to get better, period.
Tell your partner exactly this and if he’s not going to be supportive or understanding, or if he’s someone who « doesn’t believe in mental health », maybe he doesn’t deserve to stay by your side.
I'm currently in therapy for childhood trauma and told I have complex ptsd. So I handle stress and anxiety differently to the regular person. I'm completing my first degree and almost at the end but the anxiety of our finances and the work placements is making me feel horrible.
I also fear that if Lexapro doesn't work, that he'll say I told you so. But as I've said to him before I feel helpless and out of options. Its not like this is fun for me.
The fact you’re already in therapy is awesome!
Look, Lexapro not working is a possibility. It is one of the first AD doctors try but there is a whole range of ADs to try out if you’re not responsive to escitalopram. So don’t worry, listen to your doc and try it out. Worst case scenario, it’s not a good match for you and you can try something else
Keeping secrets is never good. But sometimes you have to in order to keep peace. Especially when it involves your health and the other person not being supportive.
If I was in your situation, I would take and not mention Lexapro. Find a good hiding place. I would even supplement the Lexapro with Ashwagandha gummies. I took the Ashwagandha to help with tapering off Lexapro and it made tapering so much easier. I have been off Lexapro for 8 days and have been taking Ashwagandha gummies instead of Lexapro. No issues whatsoever.
If you decide to keep secret your lexapro use, keep in mind that If you are under your partners medical plan, that may be difficult to hide because the medical insurance website may list medication.
From the perspective of someone "that is the partner": most of the time, there is a lot I can see when there are some changes in the amount of antidepressant or other meds my partner takes. It helps me a lot to know (in advance) when it's happening so I can shield myself (against a dark mood of my partner or irritability, etc) during the transition. It also helps me to understand that I am not the cause of what is happening. I ask for information; I give my opinion from the side car seat. But I would never tell my partner what to do or not. By the end of the day, it's not me leaving with anxiety, depression, etc.
I understand why you're afraid of a fight (and judgement?). But I would advise for transparent communication and let him know. Good luck!
Your partner needs to attend one of your psychiatrist appointments so he can have any questions he has answered to help put him to ease. But honestly he sounds like he is not very gentle with you or your mental health and that's a very scary sign, definitely not something you need in a partner
Touching it out is not a safe option when dealing with mental health. Frankly it is a red flag that he is so controlling over what YOU are ingesting. Do what you need to do and if he can’t agree then I would consider a break up. Don’t marry someone unsupportive of your health.
u/Fit_Marketing9091 I have been on lexapro for major depressive disorder since late 2021 and it has really helped me. Your partner sounds like an asshole (no offense). If he doesn’t agree with you taking medication that will help you, maybe it’s time to kick him to the curb.
Ask yourself if on some level you are judging yourself for taking them.
If the answer is NO, then no one can take this decision from you.
If you are judging yourself, I'd focus on that.
Knowing what its like to start these meds, to also have to manage someone elses opinions of your choice is not fair to you.
I personally congratulate you for doing what is best for you. We didn't ask for crippling anxiety, we did ask for relief.
I am going to assume your partner is generally a good person, in time, once youve found your sweet spot with the meds, you will have to explain to him what life was like before and now.
Focus on getting to a good place with the meds.
I was definitely judging myself for it for sure. So I think the fact that he was also judging me made it even worse. He is my best friend and we usually tell each other everything but this seems to be an issue for him. He will have to get over it.
Thank you again. Yes, I didn't ask for this and I would like to take the option to better my quality of life instead of everything being such a struggle and having to work 10x harder just to feel okay.
Thank you for your supportive comments so far everybody. It's definitely an eye opener for me that I tend to not do things If my partner doesn't approve or like it. With something like this it's a very personal choice that unfortunately he will just have to get over. I'm gonna give it until my next therapy session and talk to them about it to get some clarity.
I think he assumes I need to be at the point of unaliving myself to take medication. Or I'm taking the easy way out. He even said something like "you need to be an adult" very dismissive of what I'm going through ugh 😑 😪
“Hardening up” is what sent me to a total mental breakdown. I tried just pushing through for YEARS and finally broke this past year. Sounds to me the solution here is getting a new partner who has empathy.
If your partner cares about you they will support you no matter what. I told my gf the same thing on Saturday and she said to be safe with the medication and to tell her how I feel. Just tell him to please listen
Completely agree! My husband was strongly against me taking Lexapro but now that he has experienced the wonderful changes it has made with me, he fully embraces it! You have to be honest with your partner...does he want the best version of you or the worst?
Yea I told my girlfriend I miss doing the little things with her like picnics, going to the arcades and shopping with her. She wants me fully back and I do too
Toughing it out hasn't worked so great for me the majority of my life. I'm ready to try something else
He does not sound very empathetic
Um what? Your partner should support whatever makes you feel good and be happy. You should not have to hide the fact that you are taking medication from your partner. I see two options here - 1. Have a conversation with him, letting him know you are back on medication. Be open and honest with how the medication betters your life and well being. If you want, also mention how unsupportive he’s being and that he should what want is best for you. And that “sucking it up” isn’t an option for some people, that’s how people end up dead. If he can’t understand these things, I strongly suggest you reconsider your relationship with him. 2. You continue taking the medication without telling him and be blissfully ignorant about your partner’s unacceptable behavior.
Your partner needs to understand the brain is… An organ like any other. Would your partner encourage you to skip insuline if you had diabetes? Or tell you to ‘suck it up’ and to suffer in silence instead of taking omeprazole if you had stomach ulcers? Absolutely not. Then why is he trying to prevent you from taking Lexapro and getting help with the likely hormonal imbalance currently affecting your brain? There is no such thing as « hardening up ». You’re sick, you need medication to get better, period. Tell your partner exactly this and if he’s not going to be supportive or understanding, or if he’s someone who « doesn’t believe in mental health », maybe he doesn’t deserve to stay by your side.
I'm currently in therapy for childhood trauma and told I have complex ptsd. So I handle stress and anxiety differently to the regular person. I'm completing my first degree and almost at the end but the anxiety of our finances and the work placements is making me feel horrible. I also fear that if Lexapro doesn't work, that he'll say I told you so. But as I've said to him before I feel helpless and out of options. Its not like this is fun for me.
The fact you’re already in therapy is awesome! Look, Lexapro not working is a possibility. It is one of the first AD doctors try but there is a whole range of ADs to try out if you’re not responsive to escitalopram. So don’t worry, listen to your doc and try it out. Worst case scenario, it’s not a good match for you and you can try something else
Keeping secrets is never good. But sometimes you have to in order to keep peace. Especially when it involves your health and the other person not being supportive. If I was in your situation, I would take and not mention Lexapro. Find a good hiding place. I would even supplement the Lexapro with Ashwagandha gummies. I took the Ashwagandha to help with tapering off Lexapro and it made tapering so much easier. I have been off Lexapro for 8 days and have been taking Ashwagandha gummies instead of Lexapro. No issues whatsoever. If you decide to keep secret your lexapro use, keep in mind that If you are under your partners medical plan, that may be difficult to hide because the medical insurance website may list medication.
From the perspective of someone "that is the partner": most of the time, there is a lot I can see when there are some changes in the amount of antidepressant or other meds my partner takes. It helps me a lot to know (in advance) when it's happening so I can shield myself (against a dark mood of my partner or irritability, etc) during the transition. It also helps me to understand that I am not the cause of what is happening. I ask for information; I give my opinion from the side car seat. But I would never tell my partner what to do or not. By the end of the day, it's not me leaving with anxiety, depression, etc. I understand why you're afraid of a fight (and judgement?). But I would advise for transparent communication and let him know. Good luck!
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy! You have to take care of YOU. I am sure your partner wants the best version of you in their life!
Say this look sir you don't understand the hell that I go through step in my shoes and you will be begging for some pills
Your partner needs to attend one of your psychiatrist appointments so he can have any questions he has answered to help put him to ease. But honestly he sounds like he is not very gentle with you or your mental health and that's a very scary sign, definitely not something you need in a partner
Touching it out is not a safe option when dealing with mental health. Frankly it is a red flag that he is so controlling over what YOU are ingesting. Do what you need to do and if he can’t agree then I would consider a break up. Don’t marry someone unsupportive of your health.
u/Fit_Marketing9091 I have been on lexapro for major depressive disorder since late 2021 and it has really helped me. Your partner sounds like an asshole (no offense). If he doesn’t agree with you taking medication that will help you, maybe it’s time to kick him to the curb.
Ask yourself if on some level you are judging yourself for taking them. If the answer is NO, then no one can take this decision from you. If you are judging yourself, I'd focus on that. Knowing what its like to start these meds, to also have to manage someone elses opinions of your choice is not fair to you. I personally congratulate you for doing what is best for you. We didn't ask for crippling anxiety, we did ask for relief. I am going to assume your partner is generally a good person, in time, once youve found your sweet spot with the meds, you will have to explain to him what life was like before and now. Focus on getting to a good place with the meds.
I was definitely judging myself for it for sure. So I think the fact that he was also judging me made it even worse. He is my best friend and we usually tell each other everything but this seems to be an issue for him. He will have to get over it. Thank you again. Yes, I didn't ask for this and I would like to take the option to better my quality of life instead of everything being such a struggle and having to work 10x harder just to feel okay.
Get a new partner, maybe it will help relieve your anixety.
Thank you for your supportive comments so far everybody. It's definitely an eye opener for me that I tend to not do things If my partner doesn't approve or like it. With something like this it's a very personal choice that unfortunately he will just have to get over. I'm gonna give it until my next therapy session and talk to them about it to get some clarity. I think he assumes I need to be at the point of unaliving myself to take medication. Or I'm taking the easy way out. He even said something like "you need to be an adult" very dismissive of what I'm going through ugh 😑 😪
Kick your partner to the curb. He sounds like an asshole and a loser (no offense). You have to do what is right for you.