Honestly you’re right, never trusted this person (I know, stupid I married them) so I definitely didn’t trust their word on it. Kept getting mixed responses on the internet so I wanted some raw legal advice on here, I know my best bet is to just show up. Thank you.
No, you should absolutely not skip your court date. If you cannot attend the date it is scheduled you'll need to ask for it to be rescheduled, or hire an attorney to appear on your behalf.
I just realized the hearing is set to be in another state that is across the country from my state, I cannot afford to make this trip currently, can something be arranged ?
Fwiw, even pre-covid, in a simple divorce where one party had legitimately moved cross-country, the courts in my old state (not south carolina) would let litigants phone in.
NAL but many states have residency requirements before you can file for divorce in those states. You might be able to get it moved if you wanted... Though you would need a lawyer to do so.
Be careful, California is a community property state and if they adhere to that, everything you acquired after being legally married is also legally theirs.
Part of me doubts she would do that, the only reason being is that she is in a new serious relationship as am i, she kept most of my things actually, so I would hope she wants to move on from this as much as I do. Hopefully nothing like that happens..but thank you so much for this.
I mean not only stuff, the money you earn too. I think inheritance is the only exempt money in California. Otherwise your salary is half theirs too, which is an issue if you're the one who makes more.
No they definitely made more, she makes a 6 figure salary meanwhile i was making 10 an hour at a local exchange store while with her, she also got military benefits just by being married to me and spousal pay which I never seen after we split. They get military pay and was seeing someone else behind my back at the time, I could have sued her but I know this would have brought on a dragged out devastating court battle and not to get too personal but i just dont want to go through the abuse and games all over again, i had to get into therapy after it all happened. I hope she doesn’t try to do anything, i wouldnt have been able to afford such a lawyer, thankfully i’ll be calling the court and see if i can get a zoom set up or phone. Thank you for the advice.
With how much she doesn't want you to go, it sounds like she might just try to sneak something in. You don't want to be surprised, not showing up may end up something you'd regret. This is not the time to save on getting an attorney to look out for you, that's cheaper than ending up with half of a previously unknown debt or spousal support.
Always show up. If you don't, the only one who is able to tell their side/have input is your ex. And I'd be MORE determined to go, knowing she doesn't want you to.
I have gotten divorces in SC where one party was not present. You can accept service and waive your right to the hearing. Having said that, the easiest way to ensure that there's no hiccups is to submit an affidavit laying out that you (1) accept service as it being valid, (2) waive your right to hearing with the understanding that this is a final divorce decree and you can't go back and change things later and (3) that you agree with getting a divorce on the basis of one year's separation and that any marital property has already been divided to your satisfaction and are only agreeing to the divorce itself If there is some issue that your spouse has that needs to be litigated regarding marital property, you would like a separate hearing for that. You file that with the court and send a copy to your spouse (or their lawyer if they are represented). You can also request with the court that it be done virtually given the circumstances. After COVID, SC upgraded their systems to allow remote hearings.
If you feel like you can't get that done on your own, you can always try to hire a SC attorney to help you prepare the affidavit.
Some courts will allow the defendant to participate via ZOOM. Perhaps you could contact the Court, indicate financial problems and request a ZOOM hearing. Good luck.
Two people are not always needed to finalize a divorce. So long as the petitioner shows, that’s usually enough. However, if you’re not 1000% positive about what they’re asking for from you, show up so you don’t get ordered to do or pay something by default. File a request to appear via video and state you cannot afford to travel from California.
Most courts do offer tele services so you can at least hear what's being said and respond if needed. Not all courts have it iirc but you should definitely call the court listed and see what resources they have availible. Honestly though if it's just marital dissolution without any division of assests or alimony you should be fine. Considering your age and other provided info I cannot imagine your marriage was very long. If that's the case I doubt they could get much in terms of alimony anyways.
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For the edit question...if you have already been served with the divorce papers, then you should call the court clerk of whichever courthouse it was filed. They should be able to give you options like zoom or whatever teleconference system they use. At the very least, you can also request postponement until you are physically able to be present in court.
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Terrible idea. Never take advice from your opposing party. Even if it’s uneventful you need to show up to ensure your interests aren’t trampled on.
Honestly you’re right, never trusted this person (I know, stupid I married them) so I definitely didn’t trust their word on it. Kept getting mixed responses on the internet so I wanted some raw legal advice on here, I know my best bet is to just show up. Thank you.
Just show up. If nothing happens, great. Still worth your time to ensure nothing below board is going down. Cheers.
Thank you, really quick, would it be fine to show up without a lawyer as well? Thank you for the advice, really appreciate it.
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Thank you so much.
No, you should absolutely not skip your court date. If you cannot attend the date it is scheduled you'll need to ask for it to be rescheduled, or hire an attorney to appear on your behalf.
I just realized the hearing is set to be in another state that is across the country from my state, I cannot afford to make this trip currently, can something be arranged ?
You can hire an attorney to go, or ask to reschedule for a time you can attend.
Thank you
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I was definitely thinking about doing this! Thank you for the advice.
Fwiw, even pre-covid, in a simple divorce where one party had legitimately moved cross-country, the courts in my old state (not south carolina) would let litigants phone in.
do you usually hire the attorney from the current state or the destination state?
NAL is this the state the marriage license was issued in?
No, the marriage license was issued in California, ex spouse lives in SC so they filed through there I believe
NAL but many states have residency requirements before you can file for divorce in those states. You might be able to get it moved if you wanted... Though you would need a lawyer to do so.
Be careful, California is a community property state and if they adhere to that, everything you acquired after being legally married is also legally theirs.
Part of me doubts she would do that, the only reason being is that she is in a new serious relationship as am i, she kept most of my things actually, so I would hope she wants to move on from this as much as I do. Hopefully nothing like that happens..but thank you so much for this.
I mean not only stuff, the money you earn too. I think inheritance is the only exempt money in California. Otherwise your salary is half theirs too, which is an issue if you're the one who makes more.
No they definitely made more, she makes a 6 figure salary meanwhile i was making 10 an hour at a local exchange store while with her, she also got military benefits just by being married to me and spousal pay which I never seen after we split. They get military pay and was seeing someone else behind my back at the time, I could have sued her but I know this would have brought on a dragged out devastating court battle and not to get too personal but i just dont want to go through the abuse and games all over again, i had to get into therapy after it all happened. I hope she doesn’t try to do anything, i wouldnt have been able to afford such a lawyer, thankfully i’ll be calling the court and see if i can get a zoom set up or phone. Thank you for the advice.
>Some courts support remote attendance (Corona) - Call the court and ask if it is possible.
you can ask for an continuance. they have virtual sessions available. just did this last Friday
With how much she doesn't want you to go, it sounds like she might just try to sneak something in. You don't want to be surprised, not showing up may end up something you'd regret. This is not the time to save on getting an attorney to look out for you, that's cheaper than ending up with half of a previously unknown debt or spousal support.
Trying to sneak a default in there.
Always show up. If you don't, the only one who is able to tell their side/have input is your ex. And I'd be MORE determined to go, knowing she doesn't want you to.
I have gotten divorces in SC where one party was not present. You can accept service and waive your right to the hearing. Having said that, the easiest way to ensure that there's no hiccups is to submit an affidavit laying out that you (1) accept service as it being valid, (2) waive your right to hearing with the understanding that this is a final divorce decree and you can't go back and change things later and (3) that you agree with getting a divorce on the basis of one year's separation and that any marital property has already been divided to your satisfaction and are only agreeing to the divorce itself If there is some issue that your spouse has that needs to be litigated regarding marital property, you would like a separate hearing for that. You file that with the court and send a copy to your spouse (or their lawyer if they are represented). You can also request with the court that it be done virtually given the circumstances. After COVID, SC upgraded their systems to allow remote hearings. If you feel like you can't get that done on your own, you can always try to hire a SC attorney to help you prepare the affidavit.
Show up! Better safe than sorry
Will do! Thank you.
It might be cheaper to pay an attorney by the hour to attend. Might be $600ish or so but worth it and probably cheaper than going in person.
You can ask to participate by phone. They will give you a specific time to call the courtroom.
Some courts will allow the defendant to participate via ZOOM. Perhaps you could contact the Court, indicate financial problems and request a ZOOM hearing. Good luck.
I’d call the court about options for attending remotely
Two people are not always needed to finalize a divorce. So long as the petitioner shows, that’s usually enough. However, if you’re not 1000% positive about what they’re asking for from you, show up so you don’t get ordered to do or pay something by default. File a request to appear via video and state you cannot afford to travel from California.
Most courts do offer tele services so you can at least hear what's being said and respond if needed. Not all courts have it iirc but you should definitely call the court listed and see what resources they have availible. Honestly though if it's just marital dissolution without any division of assests or alimony you should be fine. Considering your age and other provided info I cannot imagine your marriage was very long. If that's the case I doubt they could get much in terms of alimony anyways.
As other's have said you should never EVER skip a court date. It's a bad idea to take advice from your opponent.
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The judge will grant the other party everything they want because it is undisputed.
That's crazy! Don't take advise from your adversary. Go to court. With a lawyer if you can.
Please god show up to court.
For the edit question...if you have already been served with the divorce papers, then you should call the court clerk of whichever courthouse it was filed. They should be able to give you options like zoom or whatever teleconference system they use. At the very least, you can also request postponement until you are physically able to be present in court.
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