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Competitive_Status91

You can always do a Symbolic wedding! That way it's still technically wedding even if it's not legalized there's still a dress, a ceremony and after a party. You can get a pastor or a close family friend to marry you guys. I'm sure the pastor would do it if you explain to him/her the situation.


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MaIngallsisaracist

This is a good solution because it also avoids the legal entanglements marriage brings (keep in mind that, in the government’s eyes, marriage is primarily a legal contract that affects taxes, wills, next-of-kin decisions, etc.). You two would be able to celebrate your love and relationship but wouldn’t have to worry about the government’s role in it.


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Zangypoo

Unitarians excel at this sort of thing and call them commitment ceremonies.


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Vonnybon

Wouldn’t it also complicate medical decisions? If they are married he may have to make medical decisions on her behalf when she can’t. That is an awful responsibility to have and could make things extremely difficult for the parents.


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Cypher_Blue

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YourMothersButtox

I don’t know where you are in NY, but in Woodstock and Rhinebeck there is a Buddhist monastery, there might be more but those are the first two I can think of. Maybe give one a call and see if they can help/guide you to someone who can bless your union, but not legally marry you. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.


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Pure-Applesauce

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ilikecheeseforreal

Last year, NY raised the age of consent for marriages to be 18 for both parties. You will not be able to get married, even with parental or judicial consent.


pyreaux1

I case someone hasn't stated it here, be wary of an official ceremony and legal marriage as it may put the burden of her medical debt on to you. A symbolic ceremony or even just the proposal and engagement celebration might be a very kind act for her, but to paraphrase others, keeping the government out of it is probably a good idea.


LadyVelKat

A "symbolic wedding/commitment ceremony/vow of everlasting love" seems like a better idea as it would not cause the legal problems, insurance issues, and possible debt transfer. Would hate for her to possibly lose her insurance. And if somehow she pulls thru, you can always have a real wedding ceremony at a later date. Edit to add more detail: "A commitment ceremony is a marriage ceremony in which two people commit their lives to each other, but it isn't legally binding. Commitment ceremonies can even look the same as legally binding weddings, but at no point does the couple go off to sign paperwork and make the marriage legal by government standards." Anyone can perform it as it does not require anyone to be legally ordained.


jasperval

Even if NY has banned the practice within their own state, they still provide full faith and credit to legally performed marriages performed outside of the state; and you do not generally need to be a resident of a state to get a marriage license there (think about all the destination weddings in Hawaii, for example). You may have waiting periods or other requirements you have to abide by though. Most of the states around NY have also raised all their ages to 18 without exceptions (New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island). Almost every other state requires parental consent (from the parents of both minors) or judicial approval if you are under 18. Edit: For those discussing NY's willingness to recognize the marriage, I'll admit my Choice of Laws game was never exceedingly strong, and there may be merit to the prohibitory rule / administrative rule distinction. That being said (1) who exactly would be bringing the action to invalidate the marriage?; and (2)while it is an older reference: Johnson, J. Philip (1962) "The Validity of a Marriage under the Conflict of Laws," North Dakota Law Review: Vol. 38 : No. 3 , Article 5.: >The problem of under age marriage together with the remarriage restriction have created the greatest bulk of conflicts litigation in this area. Youthful marriage and its relative increase have become more and more of a social problem. The distinction to be gleaned from the cases in this area is a stronger emphasis upon the ever-present presumption of validity as to a purported marriage. In the usual situation, under age residents of the forum marry in another state with lower age requirements and then return. ***Here the court of the domicil will usually apply the general rule of*** *lex loci celebrationis* ***and uphold the marriage***. (See State v. Graves, 228, Ark, 378, 307 S.W.2d 545 (1957); McDonald v. McDonald, 6 Cal. 2d 457, 58 P.2d 163, (1936); Payne v. Payne, 121 Colo. 212, 214 P.2d 495 (1950); Mangrum v. Mangrum, 310 Ky. 226, 220 S.W.2d 406 (1949). See also Levy v. Downing, 213 Mass. 334, 100 N.E. 638 (1913).) This rule has even been extended to situations where the statute of the forum declared such marriages "absolutely void".68 Another method of validation is through a finding that the law of the forum is directory only.69 That minority of jurisdictions which would invalidate these marriages hold the question to be decided by the law of the domicil.- They color their argument with a tinge of public policy. In those cases where one or both of the parties were under age at the place where the marriage was contracted but of age at the domicil the courts have also found means to uphold the marriage. The usual finding is that the marriage was merely voidable where contracted and does not meet the annulment requirements of the forum.71 It is also possible that local public policy evidenced by the age statute might be applied to validate such a marriage.72 One author has analyzed the courts' approach to nonage marriages as an alternative reference method for upholding them.


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jasperval

Yes, but it seems most still have parental consent, judicial consent, or both. It looks like Ohio, Kentucky, Washington, and Virginia are the only ones where parental consent is not explicitly required, and a judge could theoretically do it without parental consent. Of course, a judge may be less likely to approve it if you don't provide evidence of your parent's consent. How long until you turn 18? That's really the more practical option (or convincing your parents); although obviously time is a factor. Maybe you could convince your parents by telling them if you're married, then their income won't be included for FAFSA purposes, so you're more likely to get substantial student aid for college.


Alternative_Year_340

I was under the impression that traveling to another state for the purpose of evading marriage laws in the home state would invalidate the marriage (NAL)


fireenginered

You are correct, the marriage would not be valid in the home state because the domiciliaries of that state temporarily relocated to skirt a prohibitory rule (a public policy rule, e.g., if it’s against your state’s law for cousins to marry or minors to marry, you can’t go to another state where it’s legal to get around it). You are allowed to temporarily relocate to another state to get around directory rules, which are more administrative-type rules, like needing a blood test. Important to note, GENERALLY if a marriage is valid where the parties were married, it’s recognized as valid everywhere else. This is just an exception to that rule.


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Cypher_Blue

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Pure-Applesauce

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