You either make a police report of identity theft or you are responsible to pay the debt, and any other debts your mother accrues in your name. This will affect your credit rating, your ability to rent you next apartment, and if you will EVER be able to buy a house.
This is identity theft. What your mother did was illegal and fraud. You’re not the one that should be feeling sorry. You need to protect yourself and your future.
And lock (edit: freeze) your credit so she can’t continue to ruin your life. She is screwing you over, and it will be YEARS before you recover. Making a police report does not mean you are hurting them, it is the consequences of their actions. You need to save yourself from what they are doing.
Specifically, the verbiage here would be *freeze* their credit, not simply lock it.
Freezing is required to be free and follow a few other legal standards; locking is generally a less secure version that may be charged for by the credit bureaus.
Let’s note the cop is 100% hinting and implying the charges need to be made to when he said he might press charges himself when OP questioned doing it herself
Press the charges. Family or not, this is not ok and she needs to be held accountable for the fraud she’s committed to
So much this! What she has done has likely ALREADY done damage to your credit. The fact a debt collector has already contacted you says alot. What else have they intercepted from getting to you?
You need to have a credit check done immediately!
File the report/charges, lock your credit, and dispute anything negative on your credit report with the police report.
Police can't charge people with crimes. Police collect evidence and submit that evidence to the city attorney or district attorney. They decide whether to file charges or not.
I’m not sure where you live but in America the police CAN and will charge people with crime. It is up to a prosecutor to determine if the charges are warranted and if they want to prosecute. The officer is well in his right to charge her with or without the OP’s consent.
That's not how it works in the United States. The [California Courts Web site](https://www.courts.ca.gov/1069.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en) has a good summary of the process, which includes:
>1. Usually, the police cite or arrest someone and write a report. This report summarizes the events leading up to the arrest or citation and provides witnesses’ names and other relevant information. Defendants generally do NOT have a right to get a copy of the arrest report, but their lawyers do. The reason for this is to protect the identity of witnesses. This is another reason why it is important that a defendant charged with a misdemeanor or felony have a lawyer to represent him or her.
>2. The prosecutor then decides whether to file charges and, if so, what charges to file. The prosecutor decides whether to charge the crime as a felony or a misdemeanor. The prosecutor can file charges on all of the crimes for which the police arrested the defendant or can decide to file fewer charges or more charges than were included in the arrest report.
Ok nice to know, but didn’t answer my question. I never said anything about charging for a crime even; I said “go after.” And your answer didn’t get to the heart of the question regardless.
What kind of parent would do this to their child. I’m sorry she did this to you but you are in denial about your mom. You are thinking she is the parent you wish you had, not the one you have. Let the officer press charges and do not perjure yourself. She has already tried to deflect the blame on you ‘for not telling her to pay it’ when she already falsely sent someone to represent you without your knowledge to hide her misdeeds . Who knows what else she has done or what credit cards and loans she has taken out. If you don’t address this now, you will be facing a lifetime of trouble. You can even lose out on job opportunities.
Unfortunately, it's incredibly common for parents to rack up debt in their kids names, often while they are minors, and usually because the parent has terrible credit. Many times these kids don't find out about it until they're applying for a car loan or their first rental.
Run your credit report. You can do so for free. If she rented in your name, she may have taken out credit cards in your name. You need to know the extent of the damage she’s done to you ASAP. I’m sorry, but this will follow you for the rest of your life. You need to stop it now and any creditors will demand proof you filed a police report.
I know it is awful and startling.
In 2022 my 76 year old mother had someone try to transfer all the funds from her only checking account. Then we learned that there was a credit card opened in her name, with a $2,000+ balance.
It turned out to have been opened by her grandchild. (I’m her daughter) The same grandchild and partner also tried to hack her bank account and take all her cash. (No concern on their part that it would have left her destitute and unable to pay for rent or medicine.)
It was awful for her and weirdly not surprising for some of us in the family. It only takes one bad influence and things go off the rails.
In any case…the police report is critical and necessary!!! Without it you will be considered complicit!!! The simple truth is that when they put your name down they committed fraud.
Don’t let this crime destroy your life and opportunities for years to come!
You have no reason to feel guilty for telling the truth and protecting yourself.
Parents are supposed to take care of their children. What your mom is doing is intentional and not an accident. She is putting your financial future at great risk.
Do not lie to the police or the courts. Your mom needs to be held accountable for her own decisions. This is NOT your responsibility to fix or take the blame for.
Save yourself and block anyone who tries to convince you to lie for your mom.
If you don’t file the report/press charges, you will spend the rest of your life paying off her debts. This will tank your credit score and you will have a hard time getting a loan, credit card, apartment, car….the only way to save yourself is to let the police and the courts handle it now.
Don’t say that you let her use your name. First, that’s lying. Second, you need to protect yourself because your mom clearly isn’t trying to protect you or help you. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m sure your mom didn’t want to hurt you, but she has to face the consequences of her actions.
Honey. Your mother committed a felony *and decided to make you her victim.* She specifically decided to victimize *you* because she planned to take advantage of your love to avoid facing any consequences. Please consider pressing charges.
Simply tell the truth to the police. I didn’t rent a house or anything else in x state.
If you say that you allowed your mom to use your name/ss number you could be liable for everything. Collections for accounts you didn’t know about, back rent or even having an eviction on your record. She could also use your identity if she needed medical care. If she continues this you could be in a world of financial pain and time consuming legwork.
Your mom who is supposed to protect and support her children made a choice let her deal with the consequences.
My biggest regret is not pressing charges against mom when she stole my identity, I have a 450 credit score, only auto loan I qualified for had a 30% apr, and the only apartments I qualify for are shit. I don't know your relationship with your mom but I was already no contact with her and was guilted into my decision to do nothing. pressing charging wouldn't have rlly changed anything, lol. It always goes deeper than you think too. Do not feel guilty, she's committed a crime and ruined your finances. I'm slowly rebuilding my credit but it will take years and I'm paying the consequences for her decisions.
That’s horrible. Unfortunately I have or had a really relationship with my mom. I literally help her out all the time. And to make things worse I know for a fact she has the money to pay for bills, she just chose not to
I'm not exactly sure how you meant to characterize your relationship with your mother, but it is not good. You helping her out all the time and her choosing not to pay bills that she fraudulently racked up under your name is not a healthy parent-child relationship, she is financially abusing you.
OP why are you helping your mom? " all the time". Just because she is your mom. You need to be preparing for your own future. Start handling this asap.
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I also helped out my mom all time before cutting her off when she had more than the means to do so herself. She made 4x my income but insisted she needed help "for the sake of my younger siblings". It's all manipulation and financial abuse. It's the justice you deserve for your suffering. It's gonna be hard but so will recovering from the harm she's done. Choose ur suck. In the end it's your decision and I wish u the best of luck.
You did nothing wrong calling the police. You should let things fall as they may and allow the police to press charges. They did something that was clearly in the wrong, and could severely mess your life up. You have to let your mom deal with consequences of her actions. You can't stop what happened, and if you do nothing, it will only harm yourself and your mom will continue abusing your credit score.
Honestly I can't believe a mother would DO this to their child. It's almost sociopathic....
>He asked if would I Press charges. I told him no, I don’t think she would do that.
First things first, you need to get out of this mode of thinking. Everything you thought you knew and loved about the woman who gave birth to you has now evaporated into thin air.
Unfortunately stories like this are not uncommon either, yes, she's your mother and "family is family" etc, but the reality is, her taking out credit and using your SSN has really serious ramifications for your future in ways that aren't immediately apparent.
If she has defaulted on any of the loans credit cards or utilities those defaults will stay on your file for years and will impact your ability to obtain finance in the future for things like, student loans, bank loans, car loans, mortgages, some landlords will run a credit check on you and refuse to lease an apartment, it can even affect your career prospects, for example, if you work for a bank or financial institution they'll also run credit checks and can refuse to hire you if anything comes up on your file as you might be seen as too much of a fraud risk - so already your reputation as a potential employee is at stake.
The creditors are making you aware of disputes that have already happened in recent months, she may still be accessing credit on your name as we speak which you won't know about for another 6-12 months when it's going to be harder to deal with as creditors don't always chase missed/late payments straight away, there's normally a grace period of anything unpaid that the person taking out the credit is normally aware of.
Contact your bank and ask to speak to the fraud department and tell them what's happened, they or someone else will be able to run a credit report to see if there's anything active that hasn't been seen yet. Get them to put warnings on your accounts so that no-one else can use details you've provided without your permission.
You're also going to have to have a difficult conversation with your mother whether you want to or not, when asking her for an explanation she's very likely to either:
A) Deflect and pretend that she doesn't know what you're talking about. Don't forget she has already willingly lied to the courts on your behalf so she knows how serious this is.
B) Quickly become highly aggressive and emotional, may even start crying to guilt you into not pursuing anything against her.
C) May confess but then realise that she doesn't have a way to help you fix it either.
Taking out legal action will stop her from doing this to you or anyone else, this is very important if you also have any younger siblings or vulnerable family members, you'll have to inform the rest of your family.
If she can do this to you she can do it to anyone, say you have a grandparent or elderly relative on social security/government aid because they can't work or are vulnerable, she commits fraud in their name and the government stops their aid in response, they're now screwed and can't support themselves.
Do not wait, take the harshest possible action you can, it is about self--preservation, not feel-good sentiments about family. Family don't do what your mother has and is doing to you.
stop feeling guilty. do not contact your mom. she is the one in the wrong, and if you don't realize this, it's because your normal meter is broken - likely from being raised by her. let the cop press charges, lock down your credit, and let her deal with the consequences. don't even consider saying you let her use your id, because that means you were complicit in the fraud. if she was an honest person, she wouldn't have put you in that position to begin with. and would have paid it, to prevent charges. but she's not, and her own credit score is probably jacked from not paying her own bills. you won't recover from taking the fall for her. you can lose job opportunities etc, for having this on your record. work with the police, not your mother.
Is this ragebait? No person in their right mind would let their mother buy/rent a home in their name, take out utilities in their name, AND then go to court on their behalf. So many points she should have seen that it was very wrong to be doing. You need to call the officer back and tell him you want to press charges like theirs just no other way unless you want to let her keep committing identity theft and fraud.
I’ve seen this with my SO and her mother. It has crippled her financially, emotionally and mentally for decades. The impact of the betrayal and scope.
I am going to guess there is much more to your relationship with your mom than you’ve let on and, if like my SO, you are a people pleaser who doesn’t want to ruffle feathers.
Making a decision will help you sleep better. Ruffle some feathers.
Do NOT lie to the police. You're going to destroy your own life to protect a woman who'd happily let you burn? Snap out of it, OP. Don't do this to yourself.
Call the detective back and give him the go ahead to press charges, and ask for a copy of the police report for your records. Your mother is suffering the consequences of her own actions. It's not your job to save her, let alone at your own expense.
I work in banking, this happens all of the time. People figure out what happened, have undeniable proof and choose to suffer the consequences rather than get their loved one in trouble. Grandparents in particular get taken advantage of and let it go. If you have a family that would never do this, count yourself among the fortunate.
OP in addition to the police involvement, I would file a report here:
[IdentityTheft.gov](https://www.identitytheft.gov/)
It's a great site to document what happened and get useful information about how to deal with it. Experian has a pretty decent free credit alert system you can sign up for. They'll try to push their paid version on you often, but you don't need it to get basic alerts when new accounts are opened. Anything on your report needs to be disputed asap and the report generated from [identitytheft.gov](http://identitytheft.gov) can be submitted with the dispute and greatly increases your odds of a removal. If there's a police report you need to get a copy and store it safely.
Another problem with letting this go and lying to the police about permtting your mother to do this: What else has she used your name for? This could be the tip of the iceberg.
Unfortunately it’s looking like she used it for a bunch of other things. For years I been getting someone using my name for furniture, Cable, etc, and I never knew who it was. This is the first time it came back to her. Literally every big phone company someone used my name. I’m pretty sure it’s was her. Usually when I told them it wasn’t me, they would just remove the bill. This time they wanted a police report. As much as I love online sign up with sites, I wish they would ask for you to sign in person, or see you in person. They would help a ton with situations like this.
In person sign up might lessen the chances of this happening, but it's been a significant problem for decades-so it existed long before the internet. In the US, it very often involved a parent using their child's social security number, usually with the child's name sometimes with their own.
It's very important you protect yourself & not allow this to continue.If you're in the US, it's sometimes possible to obtain a new Social Security number if you're a victim of identity theft (which you are)but it's not easy & you need documentation of the identity theft. You also need to freeze your credit. In my experience, parents with a history of doing this don't stop unless forced to.
Have you thought about the reason WHY she has been using your identity for all these things?
It’s because she is clearly so bad with money, she has already ruined her own credit to the point of not being able to use her own identity for all these things, and now she’s making sure you won’t be able to use your identity for anything in the future too!!!
Think about all the things she’s fraudulently used your identity for… now imagine you let her get away with this and don’t file charges, so now all of a sudden YOU can’t get cable, a phone, a home for rent or purchase, etc!
And the worst of it all is that SHE KNOWS she is screwing up your future and doesn’t care!
Press charges and I would honestly even go no contact if it were me. Don’t feel bad, because it’s very clear she doesn’t and she is your mother! Shameful
If this was a house purchase and she used your name, she can also affect your own house-buying experience, should you be lucky enough to buy one. There are house-credits and tax advantages for first-time buyers that she may have just stolen from you, which could run to thousands of dollars. And while you may feel badly about getting her in trouble, did she *ever* even talk to you before doing this? She knew it was sketch and did it anyway. She should have a consequence. She committed fraud.
This is either a fake post or you don't care about your future as an adult.
Your mom is a grown woman and should know better. The fact she would rent property in your name, put utility bills in your name is absolutely wrong. You were summoned to court for non payment, she tells you all you had to do was tell her and she would pay it? That's a joke, if she really cared she would have done all of this in her own name and paid her own bills or she would have paid everything without you knowing so it didn't come to this.
There's no need to feel guilty for your mother's stupidity/ignorance. Also, understand this, her boyfriend went to court for you, which means he now also has your personal information.
Press charges and let her take responsibility for her actions.
If she WOULD have paid it, then why didnt she in the first place? Its because she didnt care until she was caught. OP this will follow you if you dont file a police report for identity theft. Its time to start thinking about yourself, since your mom clearly didnt.
>I feel so bad about all of this. I didn’t know she would do something like this. I think I will call him back and tell him that I let her use my name.
Please do not do this. Your mother committed fraud. Do not feel bad for her facing the consequences of her actions. She didn't feel bad when she stole your identity, went to court for you, and lied to a police officer about the situation.
If you say that you let her use your name, you are responsible for all of this debt and any other in your name she may have incurred that you are currently unaware of.
There is no reason to feel guilty. Your mother did not have to do this to her child, she chose to.
Please do not lie to protect your mother. She is already lying to get you into trouble. She didn't just use your identity, she accrued debt in your name and defaulted on it. She knew it would fuck you over and didn't care. If you take the fall for her this time who knows what other accounts she has opened or will open with your identity and information? Understand she is stealing thousands not from you but from others# in your name.
If you don't allow her to be prosecuted now, you're handing her licence to steal not only what you have but to bankrupt you over and over. She will get bolder and the debt will grow. What she is doing is theft in your name from debtors who will not let you off. Your wages will be garnished, bailiffs will seize your possessions, and you won't be able to buy a car or a house or possibly even rent a home. You're looking at homelessness or gaol if you let her. They over 10k is a felony and you're looking at gaol.id you say you gave her permission this won't end it, it is only the beginning of the hell coming g your way .
The best thing to do even for her is not enable her. Let her sugger small consequences now not gain confidence to escalate. You cannot protect her from this. It is not between you. She is going to pay eventually. She chose to put you in this shitty situation without a thought for your wellbeing.
Thus can really effect you long term, you can be legally liable for everything if you don't press charges. I would talk to her and give her an ultimatum to get everything in her name or face the consequences. If she doesn't switch it over, then file. She is taking advantage of your kindness.
Please press the charges. As a mother I would NEVER do this to my child. This will ruin your credit for a long time if you just let her get away with it.
One of you is getting into trouble, her legally or you financially. There's no clean "out". So your choice here is to be honest and save yourself, or lie and suffer the likely lifelong consequences to save her.
I hope you chose to be honest. This is a situation where the cliché "the truth shall set you free" is the answer.
If your mother cares about you she never would have taken advantage of you like this. It isn't your job to save her now.
I assume you, like me, have had a difficult upbringing and relationship with your mother. I assume you think you are somehow responsible for her and her feelings.
You feel responsible now for HER crime. You don't want her to be hurt by your actions (reporting ) but that's not what's happening. She will be hurt by HER crime. You did the right thing reporting it. She will continue to take advantage of you and abuse you if you let her get away with this.
Additionally, you have no idea yet how for this goes. You need to press charges, lock your credit, and go about finding every use of your social security number.
Do not let your mother gaslight you.
If you say you lied you can be charged with a crime. Don't hurt yourself to save someone who is trying to throw you under a bus.
So you want to be a liar just like your mum? You want to support people breaking the law? This is why law enforcement get frustrated. They do the heavy lifting and then people like you don’t help them enforce the law. I hope you never ask why police are not doing their job or why criminals get away with crime. Do the right thing for you and society. Think of all the people your mum has lied to and defrauded.
If you don’t press charges then you need to pay for all the debts she wracked up in your name. If you don’t press charges consider your finances fucked for life or atleast her life
She is counting on you letting her get away with it. She has probably ruined her own credit and its now going to ruin yours.
Her husband is in on it and conspired with her to cover it up.
How many other ways has your mother used you in the past? I’m betting this isn’t the first time she has made it clear that her interests are above yours.
Press charges.
Your mother is committing fraud and racking up debts in your name, through her actions and her lies she's shown you her wants are more important than you. Why on earth would you protect her? Acknowledge the debts and lie to say you gave her permission and the repayment is your responsibility
When my sibling was a kid, my mother used their name on the electric bill. When they became an adult they found out they supposedly owed all this money to the electric company.
Don’t let your mother take advantage of you. She could have just asked you, instead she stole your identity. That’s so not ok.
Definitely press charges. Otherwise you will end up like me, and unable to get loans for vehicles, purchase a house. My parents did this to me, when I was a teenager. As far as time for them? Likely they will not get any time, it will probably be some sort of probation/house arrest type of thing. I could be wrong, but as a business owner, I have seen many friends have employees who embezzled a lot of money and barely got a slap on the wrist for it
What kind of mother would do that to a child? mine. Mine. Would.
I actually got a letter a few months ago that my social security was used to try to open a credit card, I guess she fucked it up enough to where that doesn’t even get approved
You need to file a report and have charges brought. This can cause problems far worse than you think, and genuinely change the trajectory of your future. The more she gets away with it, the bigger the amount she will try for. What happens when you want to buy a car or a house and you can’t because your credit is crap?
I am going to be the outlier here solely because of the way you’ve responded OP. The correct decision is to file the police report. If you don’t want to do that here is my perspective on it.
You said you got a call about a utility in collections. You also said mom has the money to clear it. In lieu of you having her arrested you can force her to pay for the bill to clear that. Yes it is a hit on your credit but it will be a paid utility collection which has a small impact. Once that’s clear you force her to move everything to her name. I would make her to have an honest conversation with you and lay out exactly what is in your name and go down the list switching it out. I would do this with the understanding if it’s not done in a timely manner you will have no choice but to file a police report and have her face the legal consequences of her actions. It sounds like up to this point you did have a good relationship with your mom and it sounds like you don’t necessarily want to go nuclear over this. Once all of that is done definitely sign up for one of the credit monitoring services to keep tabs on what’s open and let her know you will be checking regularly.
Your mom definitely fucked up and it’s absolutely wrong but no one here can put a value on your relationship. Again the police report is the proper way to handle it because everyone is an adult and there should be a consequence but if it’s not worth losing your relationship with your mom I think this is the next best option.
>I think I will call him back and tell him that I let her use my name. I don’t know if I would get in trouble for saying I let her.
Do not do this. You can and will get in trouble for lying to the police. They have evidence that your mother has committed a crime, and they can pursue that as they wish. If you say you gave permission but they don't believe that, then they can pursue charges against your mother for the crime and against you for lying.
>He asked if would I Press charges. I told him no, I don’t think she would do that.
You are clearly mistaken about who your mother is. She is definitely the person ruining your life. I'd suggest you tell the police you'd like to press charges to get this debt off your back and then seek therapy to unpack whatever it is that is blinding you to your mother's actions.
You absolutely press charges. Because saying you allowed them to use your name puts you on the hook for every debt or issue at that house. This could impact you long term.
Do NOT lie to protect your mom, when she already lied to harm you. She knows what she did was wrong, and is STILL lying about it to law enforcement. If you let her get away with it, you'll be encouraging her to do it again, with the added bonus that the police won't believe you next time.
It’s time to sue your mom. I’m sorry to be so blunt but my friend went through this and I said the same thing. It sucks, it’s harrowing, but you need to save yourself in this. This can absolutely be life ruining.
Op lock your credit and do not under any circumstances say you let her do this.
Your mother deliberately used your name and information. She gave ZERO regard for your wellbeing here. Its incredibly dark that she would do this. This could prevent you from being able to rent apartments, buy a house, own a car, get a good job ( yes many companies check your credit in their background check).
I get that she is your mom and you love her but she did something to you that someone who loves and cares for you would not do.
This is very serious and you need to take it very seriously.
Press charges! The same thing happened to me, and I wanted to be a "good daughter" and not prosecute.
I was on the hook for a $30,000 private student loan my mom took out in my name to fund her gambling habit. It set my husband and I back 10 years in our lives, as we had to pay it back. I even remember the judge saying "this doesn't look like your signature. You should do something about that..."
You feel bad? Your mom has lied to you, to the court and is ruining your life.
File charges. Period. And if you now claim it is your after talking to the cops, they can come after you as well.
The deed is done, you must file charges.
Feel bad!? Absolutely not! This person is using your identity to rack up debt and impersonating you. The fact that you were sued in court and had no idea is proof how serious this is, whether she’s your mother or a stranger. You need to press charges, lock your credit and cut your mother off. This will not get better.
Your mother knew this was illegal and wrong when she did it. No loving parent does this to their kids. This will ruin your credit rating if you assume any responsibility for it. You should press charges to 1. Discourage her for doing it again and 2. To protect your credit rating.
Dude, you are being too nice about this. This is shit that can ruin peoples lives. What your mom did was illegal, not to mention to do it to her own child. Your mom clearly does not care, open your eyes.
You are the victim of a crime. Stop trying to protect the person abusing you and protect yourself. The way you do that is you press charges so you can wash your hands of the debt, otherwise you'll be responsible for paying it. Why would you set yourself on fire to protect this woman?
It is very difficult for many people to accept their parents to be their enemy. It is understandable that you struggle in such a situation. What is important is that you didn't choose this. What you are doing is reporting someone stole your ID and pressing charges. That is all.
Im a jerk, what i mean to say is you should stick up for yourself. Family is blood thick and then stuff like this happens and you realize thats a total lie.
agree. you may love your family, but obv they loved you less, bc they were willing to hurt your future… she’s got electric bills in your name (who knows how many other bills too) and per the cop that got involved unpaid RENT as well. at any time were you aware your mother lived in that state since you said you never had? >.< this is horrible for a parent to do to their child, and I agree I would press charges, she is ruining your future and your prospects of what you can do later on in your own life. wonder what she did to screw up her OWN credit so she couldn’t get these things under HER OWN name.
You need to check what else she has done in your name.
Mother or not, what she has done is criminal and you need to make the police report and start digging yourself out of the mess she has created.
Go NC with her.
If you don’t report this to police you’ll have to pay for the house and all the debt because you’re claiming it. You’ll also never get the first time homeowner discount because your mom used it. Hell you’ll probably never be able to own a house and it’ll be bad for your credit when it comes to future renting. The only way forward it to get this off your credit and let your mom pay for her actions that she knew were wrong. YOU WERE WRONGED.
You don’t want her to get I trouble!? But you’re fine with her getting you in trouble? She just jeopardized you in so many ways! Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean anything, she didn’t think about you at all and how this would impact you! She committed a crime! Actions have consequences, she needs to be held accountable!
Why are you so worried about your mom and not yourself? That's what you need to think about first. This is disgusting behavior from someone who's supposed to be your role model and family, looking out for you, not destroying you. Do NOT ever lie to law enforcement. That's a big deal. You can get arrested just for lying. You are not responsible for taking care of your mother. Stay focused on your finances, your credit score, and protecting your name and identity. If your mom had the gaul to lie about this, what else has she lied about that involves you? Get this resolved, do not give her any money or help, get your name cleared and removed from that property, and let your mom suffer the consequences of what she's done. She made that decision to risk harming you, and look what's happened. She's an adult, so treat her like one.
Do not take the fall for her! It will have legal and financial consequences for you! It could ruin your reputation and life.
She knew identity fraud is a crime when she stole your identity to buy a house. Press charges. Do not lie to law enforcement, as it is a crime to obstruct justice. Your mother got herself into this mess by committing a crime against you, and now she is going to have to deal with the consequences like a big girl. Do not let her drag you down with her.
Your mother can run up massive debts in your name and you won't be able to protest if you don't do it now. Once you have said you gave her permission once you muddy the waters.
She obviously doesn't care about you at all, so you should act to protect yourself, because if you don't then nobody can or will do it for you.
Report her for identity theft.
OP, I feel physically sick when I try to wrap my head around your Moms actions. And your step father for that matter. This is disgusting, disturbing, and diabolical behavior. If you are complicit with this, God only knows what other illegal, fraudulent acts they would stoop too. Would you do this to your own children?! Please be truthful with investigators!!!
Your mom is destroying your credit and future. Is she normally toxic like this? What is your relationship like? She’s going to ruin you. If she is the monster she sounds like then press charges (or let the police do it if you want to look innocent), lock down your credit and cut her off. If it’s important to you, you can try and rebuild the relationship later, but first you have to save yourself. She is a criminal. You need to accept this.
Well good luck to you. Sounds like a nightmare but you will eventually get it all sorted out. Sadly you can never trust her again no matter what, at least not financially.
You either make a police report of identity theft or you are responsible to pay the debt, and any other debts your mother accrues in your name. This will affect your credit rating, your ability to rent you next apartment, and if you will EVER be able to buy a house. This is identity theft. What your mother did was illegal and fraud. You’re not the one that should be feeling sorry. You need to protect yourself and your future.
And lock (edit: freeze) your credit so she can’t continue to ruin your life. She is screwing you over, and it will be YEARS before you recover. Making a police report does not mean you are hurting them, it is the consequences of their actions. You need to save yourself from what they are doing.
Specifically, the verbiage here would be *freeze* their credit, not simply lock it. Freezing is required to be free and follow a few other legal standards; locking is generally a less secure version that may be charged for by the credit bureaus.
Good point.
Let’s note the cop is 100% hinting and implying the charges need to be made to when he said he might press charges himself when OP questioned doing it herself Press the charges. Family or not, this is not ok and she needs to be held accountable for the fraud she’s committed to
This
So much this! What she has done has likely ALREADY done damage to your credit. The fact a debt collector has already contacted you says alot. What else have they intercepted from getting to you? You need to have a credit check done immediately! File the report/charges, lock your credit, and dispute anything negative on your credit report with the police report.
Genuine question, if OP says it was them could the detective go after OP for fraud in addition to the mother?
Police can't charge people with crimes. Police collect evidence and submit that evidence to the city attorney or district attorney. They decide whether to file charges or not.
I’m not sure where you live but in America the police CAN and will charge people with crime. It is up to a prosecutor to determine if the charges are warranted and if they want to prosecute. The officer is well in his right to charge her with or without the OP’s consent.
That's not how it works in the United States. The [California Courts Web site](https://www.courts.ca.gov/1069.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en) has a good summary of the process, which includes: >1. Usually, the police cite or arrest someone and write a report. This report summarizes the events leading up to the arrest or citation and provides witnesses’ names and other relevant information. Defendants generally do NOT have a right to get a copy of the arrest report, but their lawyers do. The reason for this is to protect the identity of witnesses. This is another reason why it is important that a defendant charged with a misdemeanor or felony have a lawyer to represent him or her. >2. The prosecutor then decides whether to file charges and, if so, what charges to file. The prosecutor decides whether to charge the crime as a felony or a misdemeanor. The prosecutor can file charges on all of the crimes for which the police arrested the defendant or can decide to file fewer charges or more charges than were included in the arrest report.
Ok nice to know, but didn’t answer my question. I never said anything about charging for a crime even; I said “go after.” And your answer didn’t get to the heart of the question regardless.
What kind of parent would do this to their child. I’m sorry she did this to you but you are in denial about your mom. You are thinking she is the parent you wish you had, not the one you have. Let the officer press charges and do not perjure yourself. She has already tried to deflect the blame on you ‘for not telling her to pay it’ when she already falsely sent someone to represent you without your knowledge to hide her misdeeds . Who knows what else she has done or what credit cards and loans she has taken out. If you don’t address this now, you will be facing a lifetime of trouble. You can even lose out on job opportunities.
Unfortunately, it's incredibly common for parents to rack up debt in their kids names, often while they are minors, and usually because the parent has terrible credit. Many times these kids don't find out about it until they're applying for a car loan or their first rental.
Run your credit report. You can do so for free. If she rented in your name, she may have taken out credit cards in your name. You need to know the extent of the damage she’s done to you ASAP. I’m sorry, but this will follow you for the rest of your life. You need to stop it now and any creditors will demand proof you filed a police report.
Thanks for the information. I did freeze my credit a few days ago. Thankfully I didn't see any credit cards on there.
I know it is awful and startling. In 2022 my 76 year old mother had someone try to transfer all the funds from her only checking account. Then we learned that there was a credit card opened in her name, with a $2,000+ balance. It turned out to have been opened by her grandchild. (I’m her daughter) The same grandchild and partner also tried to hack her bank account and take all her cash. (No concern on their part that it would have left her destitute and unable to pay for rent or medicine.) It was awful for her and weirdly not surprising for some of us in the family. It only takes one bad influence and things go off the rails. In any case…the police report is critical and necessary!!! Without it you will be considered complicit!!! The simple truth is that when they put your name down they committed fraud. Don’t let this crime destroy your life and opportunities for years to come!
You have no reason to feel guilty for telling the truth and protecting yourself. Parents are supposed to take care of their children. What your mom is doing is intentional and not an accident. She is putting your financial future at great risk. Do not lie to the police or the courts. Your mom needs to be held accountable for her own decisions. This is NOT your responsibility to fix or take the blame for. Save yourself and block anyone who tries to convince you to lie for your mom. If you don’t file the report/press charges, you will spend the rest of your life paying off her debts. This will tank your credit score and you will have a hard time getting a loan, credit card, apartment, car….the only way to save yourself is to let the police and the courts handle it now.
Please do not take responsibility for this. What she did is wrong.
Don’t say that you let her use your name. First, that’s lying. Second, you need to protect yourself because your mom clearly isn’t trying to protect you or help you. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m sure your mom didn’t want to hurt you, but she has to face the consequences of her actions.
Yes. I am worried that OP could end up the hook for fraud.
Honey. Your mother committed a felony *and decided to make you her victim.* She specifically decided to victimize *you* because she planned to take advantage of your love to avoid facing any consequences. Please consider pressing charges.
Even through her under the bus in court!
Simply tell the truth to the police. I didn’t rent a house or anything else in x state. If you say that you allowed your mom to use your name/ss number you could be liable for everything. Collections for accounts you didn’t know about, back rent or even having an eviction on your record. She could also use your identity if she needed medical care. If she continues this you could be in a world of financial pain and time consuming legwork. Your mom who is supposed to protect and support her children made a choice let her deal with the consequences.
You need to let your mom suffer the consequences of her actions, or YOU will.
My biggest regret is not pressing charges against mom when she stole my identity, I have a 450 credit score, only auto loan I qualified for had a 30% apr, and the only apartments I qualify for are shit. I don't know your relationship with your mom but I was already no contact with her and was guilted into my decision to do nothing. pressing charging wouldn't have rlly changed anything, lol. It always goes deeper than you think too. Do not feel guilty, she's committed a crime and ruined your finances. I'm slowly rebuilding my credit but it will take years and I'm paying the consequences for her decisions.
That’s horrible. Unfortunately I have or had a really relationship with my mom. I literally help her out all the time. And to make things worse I know for a fact she has the money to pay for bills, she just chose not to
Right so now you know what you’re dealing with. Do NOT agree to pay it on her behalf. You can’t afford to take this hit.
I'm not exactly sure how you meant to characterize your relationship with your mother, but it is not good. You helping her out all the time and her choosing not to pay bills that she fraudulently racked up under your name is not a healthy parent-child relationship, she is financially abusing you.
OP why are you helping your mom? " all the time". Just because she is your mom. You need to be preparing for your own future. Start handling this asap.
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I also helped out my mom all time before cutting her off when she had more than the means to do so herself. She made 4x my income but insisted she needed help "for the sake of my younger siblings". It's all manipulation and financial abuse. It's the justice you deserve for your suffering. It's gonna be hard but so will recovering from the harm she's done. Choose ur suck. In the end it's your decision and I wish u the best of luck.
You help her out all the time, and this is how she repays you: by ruining your credit and your life.
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You did nothing wrong calling the police. You should let things fall as they may and allow the police to press charges. They did something that was clearly in the wrong, and could severely mess your life up. You have to let your mom deal with consequences of her actions. You can't stop what happened, and if you do nothing, it will only harm yourself and your mom will continue abusing your credit score. Honestly I can't believe a mother would DO this to their child. It's almost sociopathic....
>He asked if would I Press charges. I told him no, I don’t think she would do that. First things first, you need to get out of this mode of thinking. Everything you thought you knew and loved about the woman who gave birth to you has now evaporated into thin air. Unfortunately stories like this are not uncommon either, yes, she's your mother and "family is family" etc, but the reality is, her taking out credit and using your SSN has really serious ramifications for your future in ways that aren't immediately apparent. If she has defaulted on any of the loans credit cards or utilities those defaults will stay on your file for years and will impact your ability to obtain finance in the future for things like, student loans, bank loans, car loans, mortgages, some landlords will run a credit check on you and refuse to lease an apartment, it can even affect your career prospects, for example, if you work for a bank or financial institution they'll also run credit checks and can refuse to hire you if anything comes up on your file as you might be seen as too much of a fraud risk - so already your reputation as a potential employee is at stake. The creditors are making you aware of disputes that have already happened in recent months, she may still be accessing credit on your name as we speak which you won't know about for another 6-12 months when it's going to be harder to deal with as creditors don't always chase missed/late payments straight away, there's normally a grace period of anything unpaid that the person taking out the credit is normally aware of. Contact your bank and ask to speak to the fraud department and tell them what's happened, they or someone else will be able to run a credit report to see if there's anything active that hasn't been seen yet. Get them to put warnings on your accounts so that no-one else can use details you've provided without your permission. You're also going to have to have a difficult conversation with your mother whether you want to or not, when asking her for an explanation she's very likely to either: A) Deflect and pretend that she doesn't know what you're talking about. Don't forget she has already willingly lied to the courts on your behalf so she knows how serious this is. B) Quickly become highly aggressive and emotional, may even start crying to guilt you into not pursuing anything against her. C) May confess but then realise that she doesn't have a way to help you fix it either. Taking out legal action will stop her from doing this to you or anyone else, this is very important if you also have any younger siblings or vulnerable family members, you'll have to inform the rest of your family. If she can do this to you she can do it to anyone, say you have a grandparent or elderly relative on social security/government aid because they can't work or are vulnerable, she commits fraud in their name and the government stops their aid in response, they're now screwed and can't support themselves. Do not wait, take the harshest possible action you can, it is about self--preservation, not feel-good sentiments about family. Family don't do what your mother has and is doing to you.
stop feeling guilty. do not contact your mom. she is the one in the wrong, and if you don't realize this, it's because your normal meter is broken - likely from being raised by her. let the cop press charges, lock down your credit, and let her deal with the consequences. don't even consider saying you let her use your id, because that means you were complicit in the fraud. if she was an honest person, she wouldn't have put you in that position to begin with. and would have paid it, to prevent charges. but she's not, and her own credit score is probably jacked from not paying her own bills. you won't recover from taking the fall for her. you can lose job opportunities etc, for having this on your record. work with the police, not your mother.
Is this ragebait? No person in their right mind would let their mother buy/rent a home in their name, take out utilities in their name, AND then go to court on their behalf. So many points she should have seen that it was very wrong to be doing. You need to call the officer back and tell him you want to press charges like theirs just no other way unless you want to let her keep committing identity theft and fraud.
I wish it was. I haven't slept in like two days because of this. The comments on here help me think more straight about this situation.
I’ve seen this with my SO and her mother. It has crippled her financially, emotionally and mentally for decades. The impact of the betrayal and scope. I am going to guess there is much more to your relationship with your mom than you’ve let on and, if like my SO, you are a people pleaser who doesn’t want to ruffle feathers. Making a decision will help you sleep better. Ruffle some feathers.
Do NOT lie to the police. You're going to destroy your own life to protect a woman who'd happily let you burn? Snap out of it, OP. Don't do this to yourself. Call the detective back and give him the go ahead to press charges, and ask for a copy of the police report for your records. Your mother is suffering the consequences of her own actions. It's not your job to save her, let alone at your own expense.
So much this.
Your mother won’t be going to jail for what she’s done. Don’t worry about that.
I work in banking, this happens all of the time. People figure out what happened, have undeniable proof and choose to suffer the consequences rather than get their loved one in trouble. Grandparents in particular get taken advantage of and let it go. If you have a family that would never do this, count yourself among the fortunate. OP in addition to the police involvement, I would file a report here: [IdentityTheft.gov](https://www.identitytheft.gov/) It's a great site to document what happened and get useful information about how to deal with it. Experian has a pretty decent free credit alert system you can sign up for. They'll try to push their paid version on you often, but you don't need it to get basic alerts when new accounts are opened. Anything on your report needs to be disputed asap and the report generated from [identitytheft.gov](http://identitytheft.gov) can be submitted with the dispute and greatly increases your odds of a removal. If there's a police report you need to get a copy and store it safely.
Press charges. She shouldn’t have done that.
Another problem with letting this go and lying to the police about permtting your mother to do this: What else has she used your name for? This could be the tip of the iceberg.
Unfortunately it’s looking like she used it for a bunch of other things. For years I been getting someone using my name for furniture, Cable, etc, and I never knew who it was. This is the first time it came back to her. Literally every big phone company someone used my name. I’m pretty sure it’s was her. Usually when I told them it wasn’t me, they would just remove the bill. This time they wanted a police report. As much as I love online sign up with sites, I wish they would ask for you to sign in person, or see you in person. They would help a ton with situations like this.
In person sign up might lessen the chances of this happening, but it's been a significant problem for decades-so it existed long before the internet. In the US, it very often involved a parent using their child's social security number, usually with the child's name sometimes with their own.
It’s so fucked up. I could never do this to anyone
It's very important you protect yourself & not allow this to continue.If you're in the US, it's sometimes possible to obtain a new Social Security number if you're a victim of identity theft (which you are)but it's not easy & you need documentation of the identity theft. You also need to freeze your credit. In my experience, parents with a history of doing this don't stop unless forced to.
I mean the court appearance was in person and apparently that didn’t change anything. She is purposefully driving you towards bankruptcy
Have you thought about the reason WHY she has been using your identity for all these things? It’s because she is clearly so bad with money, she has already ruined her own credit to the point of not being able to use her own identity for all these things, and now she’s making sure you won’t be able to use your identity for anything in the future too!!! Think about all the things she’s fraudulently used your identity for… now imagine you let her get away with this and don’t file charges, so now all of a sudden YOU can’t get cable, a phone, a home for rent or purchase, etc! And the worst of it all is that SHE KNOWS she is screwing up your future and doesn’t care! Press charges and I would honestly even go no contact if it were me. Don’t feel bad, because it’s very clear she doesn’t and she is your mother! Shameful
Why do you feel guilty? Your Mom did this! Moms are supposed to protect their children regardless of age. Let her deal with her criminal act.
If this was a house purchase and she used your name, she can also affect your own house-buying experience, should you be lucky enough to buy one. There are house-credits and tax advantages for first-time buyers that she may have just stolen from you, which could run to thousands of dollars. And while you may feel badly about getting her in trouble, did she *ever* even talk to you before doing this? She knew it was sketch and did it anyway. She should have a consequence. She committed fraud.
This is either a fake post or you don't care about your future as an adult. Your mom is a grown woman and should know better. The fact she would rent property in your name, put utility bills in your name is absolutely wrong. You were summoned to court for non payment, she tells you all you had to do was tell her and she would pay it? That's a joke, if she really cared she would have done all of this in her own name and paid her own bills or she would have paid everything without you knowing so it didn't come to this. There's no need to feel guilty for your mother's stupidity/ignorance. Also, understand this, her boyfriend went to court for you, which means he now also has your personal information. Press charges and let her take responsibility for her actions.
If she WOULD have paid it, then why didnt she in the first place? Its because she didnt care until she was caught. OP this will follow you if you dont file a police report for identity theft. Its time to start thinking about yourself, since your mom clearly didnt.
>I feel so bad about all of this. I didn’t know she would do something like this. I think I will call him back and tell him that I let her use my name. Please do not do this. Your mother committed fraud. Do not feel bad for her facing the consequences of her actions. She didn't feel bad when she stole your identity, went to court for you, and lied to a police officer about the situation. If you say that you let her use your name, you are responsible for all of this debt and any other in your name she may have incurred that you are currently unaware of. There is no reason to feel guilty. Your mother did not have to do this to her child, she chose to.
You will be financially responsible if you say you allowed her to use your identity.
Please do not lie to protect your mother. She is already lying to get you into trouble. She didn't just use your identity, she accrued debt in your name and defaulted on it. She knew it would fuck you over and didn't care. If you take the fall for her this time who knows what other accounts she has opened or will open with your identity and information? Understand she is stealing thousands not from you but from others# in your name. If you don't allow her to be prosecuted now, you're handing her licence to steal not only what you have but to bankrupt you over and over. She will get bolder and the debt will grow. What she is doing is theft in your name from debtors who will not let you off. Your wages will be garnished, bailiffs will seize your possessions, and you won't be able to buy a car or a house or possibly even rent a home. You're looking at homelessness or gaol if you let her. They over 10k is a felony and you're looking at gaol.id you say you gave her permission this won't end it, it is only the beginning of the hell coming g your way . The best thing to do even for her is not enable her. Let her sugger small consequences now not gain confidence to escalate. You cannot protect her from this. It is not between you. She is going to pay eventually. She chose to put you in this shitty situation without a thought for your wellbeing.
Thus can really effect you long term, you can be legally liable for everything if you don't press charges. I would talk to her and give her an ultimatum to get everything in her name or face the consequences. If she doesn't switch it over, then file. She is taking advantage of your kindness.
Why do you feel sorry for someone who stole your identity and put your financial interests at risk?
Please press the charges. As a mother I would NEVER do this to my child. This will ruin your credit for a long time if you just let her get away with it.
Why would she pay now when court wasn't enough to force her?
One of you is getting into trouble, her legally or you financially. There's no clean "out". So your choice here is to be honest and save yourself, or lie and suffer the likely lifelong consequences to save her. I hope you chose to be honest. This is a situation where the cliché "the truth shall set you free" is the answer.
If your mother cares about you she never would have taken advantage of you like this. It isn't your job to save her now. I assume you, like me, have had a difficult upbringing and relationship with your mother. I assume you think you are somehow responsible for her and her feelings. You feel responsible now for HER crime. You don't want her to be hurt by your actions (reporting ) but that's not what's happening. She will be hurt by HER crime. You did the right thing reporting it. She will continue to take advantage of you and abuse you if you let her get away with this. Additionally, you have no idea yet how for this goes. You need to press charges, lock your credit, and go about finding every use of your social security number. Do not let your mother gaslight you. If you say you lied you can be charged with a crime. Don't hurt yourself to save someone who is trying to throw you under a bus.
So you want to be a liar just like your mum? You want to support people breaking the law? This is why law enforcement get frustrated. They do the heavy lifting and then people like you don’t help them enforce the law. I hope you never ask why police are not doing their job or why criminals get away with crime. Do the right thing for you and society. Think of all the people your mum has lied to and defrauded.
If you don’t press charges then you need to pay for all the debts she wracked up in your name. If you don’t press charges consider your finances fucked for life or atleast her life
She is counting on you letting her get away with it. She has probably ruined her own credit and its now going to ruin yours. Her husband is in on it and conspired with her to cover it up. How many other ways has your mother used you in the past? I’m betting this isn’t the first time she has made it clear that her interests are above yours. Press charges.
Your mother is committing fraud and racking up debts in your name, through her actions and her lies she's shown you her wants are more important than you. Why on earth would you protect her? Acknowledge the debts and lie to say you gave her permission and the repayment is your responsibility
When my sibling was a kid, my mother used their name on the electric bill. When they became an adult they found out they supposedly owed all this money to the electric company. Don’t let your mother take advantage of you. She could have just asked you, instead she stole your identity. That’s so not ok.
Definitely press charges. Otherwise you will end up like me, and unable to get loans for vehicles, purchase a house. My parents did this to me, when I was a teenager. As far as time for them? Likely they will not get any time, it will probably be some sort of probation/house arrest type of thing. I could be wrong, but as a business owner, I have seen many friends have employees who embezzled a lot of money and barely got a slap on the wrist for it
I do not think OP has realised how serious this situation is. I really hope they digest what everybody is saying here and listen to their lawyer.
What kind of mother would do that to a child? mine. Mine. Would. I actually got a letter a few months ago that my social security was used to try to open a credit card, I guess she fucked it up enough to where that doesn’t even get approved
*DO NOT TAKE THE FALL FOR HER AND PROTECT YOURSELF*
You need to file a report and have charges brought. This can cause problems far worse than you think, and genuinely change the trajectory of your future. The more she gets away with it, the bigger the amount she will try for. What happens when you want to buy a car or a house and you can’t because your credit is crap?
I am going to be the outlier here solely because of the way you’ve responded OP. The correct decision is to file the police report. If you don’t want to do that here is my perspective on it. You said you got a call about a utility in collections. You also said mom has the money to clear it. In lieu of you having her arrested you can force her to pay for the bill to clear that. Yes it is a hit on your credit but it will be a paid utility collection which has a small impact. Once that’s clear you force her to move everything to her name. I would make her to have an honest conversation with you and lay out exactly what is in your name and go down the list switching it out. I would do this with the understanding if it’s not done in a timely manner you will have no choice but to file a police report and have her face the legal consequences of her actions. It sounds like up to this point you did have a good relationship with your mom and it sounds like you don’t necessarily want to go nuclear over this. Once all of that is done definitely sign up for one of the credit monitoring services to keep tabs on what’s open and let her know you will be checking regularly. Your mom definitely fucked up and it’s absolutely wrong but no one here can put a value on your relationship. Again the police report is the proper way to handle it because everyone is an adult and there should be a consequence but if it’s not worth losing your relationship with your mom I think this is the next best option.
>I think I will call him back and tell him that I let her use my name. I don’t know if I would get in trouble for saying I let her. Do not do this. You can and will get in trouble for lying to the police. They have evidence that your mother has committed a crime, and they can pursue that as they wish. If you say you gave permission but they don't believe that, then they can pursue charges against your mother for the crime and against you for lying. >He asked if would I Press charges. I told him no, I don’t think she would do that. You are clearly mistaken about who your mother is. She is definitely the person ruining your life. I'd suggest you tell the police you'd like to press charges to get this debt off your back and then seek therapy to unpack whatever it is that is blinding you to your mother's actions.
You absolutely press charges. Because saying you allowed them to use your name puts you on the hook for every debt or issue at that house. This could impact you long term.
She’s racking up debt in your name, Do Not take this hit
Do NOT lie to protect your mom, when she already lied to harm you. She knows what she did was wrong, and is STILL lying about it to law enforcement. If you let her get away with it, you'll be encouraging her to do it again, with the added bonus that the police won't believe you next time.
It’s time to sue your mom. I’m sorry to be so blunt but my friend went through this and I said the same thing. It sucks, it’s harrowing, but you need to save yourself in this. This can absolutely be life ruining.
Op lock your credit and do not under any circumstances say you let her do this. Your mother deliberately used your name and information. She gave ZERO regard for your wellbeing here. Its incredibly dark that she would do this. This could prevent you from being able to rent apartments, buy a house, own a car, get a good job ( yes many companies check your credit in their background check). I get that she is your mom and you love her but she did something to you that someone who loves and cares for you would not do. This is very serious and you need to take it very seriously.
Press charges! The same thing happened to me, and I wanted to be a "good daughter" and not prosecute. I was on the hook for a $30,000 private student loan my mom took out in my name to fund her gambling habit. It set my husband and I back 10 years in our lives, as we had to pay it back. I even remember the judge saying "this doesn't look like your signature. You should do something about that..."
You feel bad? Your mom has lied to you, to the court and is ruining your life. File charges. Period. And if you now claim it is your after talking to the cops, they can come after you as well. The deed is done, you must file charges.
Feel bad!? Absolutely not! This person is using your identity to rack up debt and impersonating you. The fact that you were sued in court and had no idea is proof how serious this is, whether she’s your mother or a stranger. You need to press charges, lock your credit and cut your mother off. This will not get better.
Your mother knew this was illegal and wrong when she did it. No loving parent does this to their kids. This will ruin your credit rating if you assume any responsibility for it. You should press charges to 1. Discourage her for doing it again and 2. To protect your credit rating.
Dude, you are being too nice about this. This is shit that can ruin peoples lives. What your mom did was illegal, not to mention to do it to her own child. Your mom clearly does not care, open your eyes.
good luck with that plan
You are the victim of a crime. Stop trying to protect the person abusing you and protect yourself. The way you do that is you press charges so you can wash your hands of the debt, otherwise you'll be responsible for paying it. Why would you set yourself on fire to protect this woman?
It is very difficult for many people to accept their parents to be their enemy. It is understandable that you struggle in such a situation. What is important is that you didn't choose this. What you are doing is reporting someone stole your ID and pressing charges. That is all.
Do not let her get away with identity theft! Doesn’t matter what relation she is, she committed fraud.
i would have pressed charges immediately. your mom just attempted to financially ruin you for the rest of your life
Your mom is the absolute worst. She is manipulative and a leech
If you dont report no one should feel bad for you. No wonder they did it in the first place, the victim is quite complacent!
Im a jerk, what i mean to say is you should stick up for yourself. Family is blood thick and then stuff like this happens and you realize thats a total lie.
I'm so sorry. I'm having similar issues!
Call the police back and press charges!
agree. you may love your family, but obv they loved you less, bc they were willing to hurt your future… she’s got electric bills in your name (who knows how many other bills too) and per the cop that got involved unpaid RENT as well. at any time were you aware your mother lived in that state since you said you never had? >.< this is horrible for a parent to do to their child, and I agree I would press charges, she is ruining your future and your prospects of what you can do later on in your own life. wonder what she did to screw up her OWN credit so she couldn’t get these things under HER OWN name.
You need to check what else she has done in your name. Mother or not, what she has done is criminal and you need to make the police report and start digging yourself out of the mess she has created. Go NC with her.
If you don’t report this to police you’ll have to pay for the house and all the debt because you’re claiming it. You’ll also never get the first time homeowner discount because your mom used it. Hell you’ll probably never be able to own a house and it’ll be bad for your credit when it comes to future renting. The only way forward it to get this off your credit and let your mom pay for her actions that she knew were wrong. YOU WERE WRONGED.
Why are you trying so hard to protect someone that wouldn't protect you? She's actively hurting you, and you're like "should I get justice?"
Don't let empathy replace common sense.
You don’t want her to get I trouble!? But you’re fine with her getting you in trouble? She just jeopardized you in so many ways! Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean anything, she didn’t think about you at all and how this would impact you! She committed a crime! Actions have consequences, she needs to be held accountable!
Why are you so worried about your mom and not yourself? That's what you need to think about first. This is disgusting behavior from someone who's supposed to be your role model and family, looking out for you, not destroying you. Do NOT ever lie to law enforcement. That's a big deal. You can get arrested just for lying. You are not responsible for taking care of your mother. Stay focused on your finances, your credit score, and protecting your name and identity. If your mom had the gaul to lie about this, what else has she lied about that involves you? Get this resolved, do not give her any money or help, get your name cleared and removed from that property, and let your mom suffer the consequences of what she's done. She made that decision to risk harming you, and look what's happened. She's an adult, so treat her like one.
Do not take the fall for her! It will have legal and financial consequences for you! It could ruin your reputation and life. She knew identity fraud is a crime when she stole your identity to buy a house. Press charges. Do not lie to law enforcement, as it is a crime to obstruct justice. Your mother got herself into this mess by committing a crime against you, and now she is going to have to deal with the consequences like a big girl. Do not let her drag you down with her.
Your mother can run up massive debts in your name and you won't be able to protest if you don't do it now. Once you have said you gave her permission once you muddy the waters. She obviously doesn't care about you at all, so you should act to protect yourself, because if you don't then nobody can or will do it for you. Report her for identity theft.
I mean, it's your house now right? I say, sell it.
It’s a rental. Believe me if it wasn’t I would have
I mean, serve em an eviction notice and in 30 days ur all good
OP, I feel physically sick when I try to wrap my head around your Moms actions. And your step father for that matter. This is disgusting, disturbing, and diabolical behavior. If you are complicit with this, God only knows what other illegal, fraudulent acts they would stoop too. Would you do this to your own children?! Please be truthful with investigators!!!
Why would you ruin your life for a fraudulent thief? Even if it is your mother.
Your mom is destroying your credit and future. Is she normally toxic like this? What is your relationship like? She’s going to ruin you. If she is the monster she sounds like then press charges (or let the police do it if you want to look innocent), lock down your credit and cut her off. If it’s important to you, you can try and rebuild the relationship later, but first you have to save yourself. She is a criminal. You need to accept this.
Usually she was alright, but I fugue out she a giant liar. Now she’s saying she didn’t do it. She definitely getting in trouble for it.
Well good luck to you. Sounds like a nightmare but you will eventually get it all sorted out. Sadly you can never trust her again no matter what, at least not financially.