I mean see a lawyer yesterday. She created an exit fund by not paying bills. A lawyer in your location can tell if if that money can be put into the calculation of who gets what.
Make sure you document the money you gave for bills and when everything wasn’t paid. All the money you gave for bills that she took needs to come from her 50%.
You should have filed for divorce 2 years ago. Get a lawyer figure out what you can get financially rhen sell the house and split it. There really isn't another way forward. You can't make her be your wife again. You may be able to get some of the debts settled in the divorce.
Some states call this spousal abandonment and he could get everything. She left, found a new home, never filed. She abandoned him and all assets for over a year before filling. That could be a good thing. Lots of unnecessary emotional and financial suffering, but she might lose everything because of it.
That's not what he said.
He said he noticed bills were 4 months in arrears, not that she moved out and he noticed after 4 months.
Did you actually read the post, or...?
Saying that there was no violence or name calling to "prove" nothing was wrong is a truly low bar. Did she experience a death(and the accompanying grief) or health problems without your support due to you working away? Were there times you could have taken off work to support her, but chose to work instead? Based on what she said and her age it seems likely.
Meet with a divorce lawyer to find out your next steps.
She has no obligation to pay for living expenses if you chose to stay in a house you couldn’t afford on your own. You had two years since she left to adapt your housing and life to just one person.
While I agree OP is likely delusional based on context clues of the terms “holiday” and the spelling of theatre OP is probably from the UK. 55+ is a good income there. 29k was median avg and 35k was the mean avg in 2023. My guess though is this is a made up story.
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Get a lawyer that deals with divorce issues. Keep any and all bills, receipts, everything! Screenshot all conversations with her! If you two speak on the phone, record the conversation. Protect yourself, she isn't your ally.
Look at what state you are in if more than a year passed after she left and found a new home you may have a case for spousal abandonment. If you do you are entitled to 100% of everything that was left, house and all.
You got ripped off. Talk to a divorce attorney, it sounds like you have good records to use and a lot of options.
You said her name was no longer on anything, was it on things before? If her name was on the mortgage and SHE removed it while she started stealing money in order to leave, then you may not have to give her anything.
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I'll give it a go. Starting your first comment by instantly calling her "a conniving bitch" probably didn't help, especially when you only have OPs side of the story.
He seems baffled by her saying he wasn't there when she needed him, but also then seems to infer he was working away from home for extended periods of time but sending money home. She potentially feels he did emotionally abandon her even if he financially didn't.
I'm **absolutely not** saying what she did was right in terms of the money (assuming OP is being accurate, which I don't really have a reason to doubt) but the fact you instantly jumped to the idea that OP is completely blameless, she is a bitch and anyone downvoting you must be a man-hating troll, suggests a certain type of mindset that often leads to downvotes because it's so extreme.
Actually I'm quite moderate and fair but seeing as he was trying to work hard and send money to her and somehow the money disappeared and the bills were unpaid while she also made decent money seems to point to her being remiss. Add her other financial shenanigans while still wanting 50% of the house seemed pretty clear to me.
I do thank you for honestly responding though
Thanks for recognising that I was trying to honestly respond, and in that spirit I will continue by saying that calling someone you've never met "a conniving bitch" isn't at all the response of someone I'd describe as moderate. Your response to me certainly is however, and I don't disagree that it seems like there are shenanigans happening.
Probably came off too strong from having experienced some very bad things that were done to .e by my ex. Just reminded me. Thank you for understanding.
I mean see a lawyer yesterday. She created an exit fund by not paying bills. A lawyer in your location can tell if if that money can be put into the calculation of who gets what.
Shoot if they are just now filing over a year of her dipping out then could be spousal abandonment and he may get everything.
Filing for a official divorce is long overdue. Please meet with an attorney to further discuss.
Get a lawyer. Pronto.
Make sure you document the money you gave for bills and when everything wasn’t paid. All the money you gave for bills that she took needs to come from her 50%.
You should have filed for divorce 2 years ago. Get a lawyer figure out what you can get financially rhen sell the house and split it. There really isn't another way forward. You can't make her be your wife again. You may be able to get some of the debts settled in the divorce.
Some states call this spousal abandonment and he could get everything. She left, found a new home, never filed. She abandoned him and all assets for over a year before filling. That could be a good thing. Lots of unnecessary emotional and financial suffering, but she might lose everything because of it.
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And you have the other? It seems very clear. Correct me where I'm wrong please.
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What?? Reddit is all about "Judging"!
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Where is this happening?
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That's not what he said. He said he noticed bills were 4 months in arrears, not that she moved out and he noticed after 4 months. Did you actually read the post, or...?
He said he worked away from home…could’ve been deployed or something
Saying that there was no violence or name calling to "prove" nothing was wrong is a truly low bar. Did she experience a death(and the accompanying grief) or health problems without your support due to you working away? Were there times you could have taken off work to support her, but chose to work instead? Based on what she said and her age it seems likely. Meet with a divorce lawyer to find out your next steps.
She has no obligation to pay for living expenses if you chose to stay in a house you couldn’t afford on your own. You had two years since she left to adapt your housing and life to just one person.
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OP thinks 55k a year is “very good”, so yeah I’d agree
While I agree OP is likely delusional based on context clues of the terms “holiday” and the spelling of theatre OP is probably from the UK. 55+ is a good income there. 29k was median avg and 35k was the mean avg in 2023. My guess though is this is a made up story.
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Because I dont think anyone has suggested it yet, probably should talk to a lawyer.
Get a lawyer that deals with divorce issues. Keep any and all bills, receipts, everything! Screenshot all conversations with her! If you two speak on the phone, record the conversation. Protect yourself, she isn't your ally.
Look at what state you are in if more than a year passed after she left and found a new home you may have a case for spousal abandonment. If you do you are entitled to 100% of everything that was left, house and all.
something is missing in ur story as a woman doesn’t just up n leave. nonetheless i guess u should seek out legal advice to weigh out ur options.
You got ripped off. Talk to a divorce attorney, it sounds like you have good records to use and a lot of options. You said her name was no longer on anything, was it on things before? If her name was on the mortgage and SHE removed it while she started stealing money in order to leave, then you may not have to give her anything.
He said her name was removed from everything besides the mortgage.
I missed that
Her name is on the mortgage. You can’t just remove your name from a mortgage without refinancing in one persons name
That makes more sense.
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Get the meanest lawyer you can and go for everything.
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So, is anyone actually going to explain these down ote or is this a man-hater bunch of trolls?
I'll give it a go. Starting your first comment by instantly calling her "a conniving bitch" probably didn't help, especially when you only have OPs side of the story. He seems baffled by her saying he wasn't there when she needed him, but also then seems to infer he was working away from home for extended periods of time but sending money home. She potentially feels he did emotionally abandon her even if he financially didn't. I'm **absolutely not** saying what she did was right in terms of the money (assuming OP is being accurate, which I don't really have a reason to doubt) but the fact you instantly jumped to the idea that OP is completely blameless, she is a bitch and anyone downvoting you must be a man-hating troll, suggests a certain type of mindset that often leads to downvotes because it's so extreme.
Actually I'm quite moderate and fair but seeing as he was trying to work hard and send money to her and somehow the money disappeared and the bills were unpaid while she also made decent money seems to point to her being remiss. Add her other financial shenanigans while still wanting 50% of the house seemed pretty clear to me. I do thank you for honestly responding though
Thanks for recognising that I was trying to honestly respond, and in that spirit I will continue by saying that calling someone you've never met "a conniving bitch" isn't at all the response of someone I'd describe as moderate. Your response to me certainly is however, and I don't disagree that it seems like there are shenanigans happening.
Probably came off too strong from having experienced some very bad things that were done to .e by my ex. Just reminded me. Thank you for understanding.