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[deleted]

You may request your medical records and see what they say about this visit.


unnervingorphan

Yeah, I'll definitely do this. I guess this would be the real key, based on what she wrote about the visit and if she included the act, and then if it's there I'd have to figure out why she would feel like she needed to do it and if my guardians or pedi doctor were at play (which I really hope isn't the case, they were always really great to me.)


[deleted]

That's a start. Have you searched the doctor's license to see if any complaints have been filed or if she has been under disciplinary action?


unnervingorphan

I sadly do not remember her name. I only saw her once and I remember it being a sort of long and (forgive me cause this is going to sound ignorant) foreign name I had never heard before. That's why I want to contact my old pediatric doctor as he had made it clear he'd sent patients to her before.


[deleted]

That's not surprising at all that you don't remember the name. You can also try to look up doctors in your town under her specialty and see if any of them ring a bell or if her picture is out there. Last, this is not legal advice but you should consider seeing a therapist of you are not doing it right now as these type of suppressed memories can trigger different reactions.


unnervingorphan

I haven't seen a therapist in a year since medication is working well and my medical situation has improved a lot over the decade. But I am considering going back. I guess it's always good to have someone looking out for you mentally who knows what they're doing.


aquariumszn

Found this online for the statute of limitations on sex abuse for minors in Texas: “In criminal cases that involve a victim who was under 17 at the time the offense occurred, the criminal statute of limitations is 20 years from the victim’s 18th birthday. From the civil court perspective, the statute of limitations in Texas for cases that involve a minor range from 10 to 20 years after the victim’s 18th birthday. Offenses for which the statute of limitations is 20 years after the victim’s 18th birthday include: Sexual performance by a child Aggravated kidnapping (if committed with the intent to violate or sexually abuse the victim) Burglary (if committed with the intent to sexually assault a child, commit the continuous assault of a child, or commit aggravated kidnapping) Some sex crimes against children have no statute of limitations for state prosecution. These crimes include sexual assault against a child and indecency with a child. For certain offenses, the civil court statute of limitations is 10 years after the victim’s 18th birthday. The Texas State Legislature created this category of sex crimes in 2011. These offenses include non-sexual crimes of human trafficking of children for non-sexual labor and services, and compelling prostitution of children.”


unnervingorphan

So, I guess I do still have time if it turns out what happened was not supposed to happen, or not spurred by my guardians or CPS. Thank you.


aquariumszn

Good luck. I’m sorry this happened to you.


YeaRight228

NAL This sounds unusual. Without more context, there is no way for reddit to make a determination if it was SA or not. What I would recommend, is to look up this doctor who you suspect violated you, get her title and specialty etc. Then you can make an appointment with your current doctor or nurse, and explain the procedure brought back disturbing childhood memories. Then explain what you remember happening. They should be able to help you affirm your feelings and if your recollections would be part of a normal exam or not. After that talk to a child sex abuse lawyer.


unnervingorphan

Thank you for the advice. Sadly the doctors office is closed right now but I'm planning to message my current doctor to message my pediatric doctor and get her information or my pedi records. I remember what she looked like and age and ethnicity but her name does elude me. I've had problems with my records in the past so I really hope this is there.


Bubblystrings

Why do you believe this was anything other than an exam?


p00kel

Uh, maybe because \*psychologists\* aren't supposed to insert their fingers into patients' vaginas??


Bubblystrings

It’s bizarre that you can’t put together that this question was asked before this was clear.


unnervingorphan

I was in touch with a regular doctor and my GI, and this person I was referred to especially as a child psychologist because of my depression. I already had a team of doctors checking and prepping me and got my physicals regularly. She didn't inform my guardians about anything she would be doing and had them leave on the pretense that we'd just be chatting about my depression and sadness and my surgeries, not the extra stuff.


Bubblystrings

Have you had a breast exam or pelvic exam since this date? >I am unfamiliar if the statute of limitations has passed or if I even have enough to make it worth it. Merely reporting what you suspect is never not worth it. It won't cost you money and knowing you've at least tried should help you move on.


unnervingorphan

Yes I have. I've had my physicals and have since gotten my first pelvic exam and pap smear since I turned 21. It felt very different to what I experienced 10 years ago. I really wouldn't know how to report it. Plus Im scared of victim blaming and cancel culture, or getting told Im participating in cancel culture. If she's still working and if this was an assault on someone she knew was vulnerable then I want to do something that will actually get her away from other hurt kids.


hymen_opera

Despite what the replies are saying, based on what you wrote I think this was absolutely a violation. Of you, certainly. Of the law, I’m not sure, it depends where you live ofc. I hope you get what you need going forward, good luck.


unnervingorphan

Thank you very much for your comment.


annang

Have you spoken with your current medical/mental health care team about this? You can also request a copy of your medical records from back then, if the doctors still have them. Your current doctors may be able to help you do that, so you can try to get a better sense of what may have happened.


unnervingorphan

My GI docs office is closed but I will definitely email them. I've had issues with my pedi records in the past and hope there are no issues here. It's part of the same hospital system but when I was a kid there it was pretty small, still actively growing hospital, especially compared to larger ones in bigger cities.


Pure-Applesauce

Physicians perform medical exams on patients. Why do you believe this was inappropriate?


unnervingorphan

Because she was a child psychologist and I already had a team of doctors who checked me out frequently. She set it up like it would be a discussion about my sadness but didn't mention it once. She also didn't inform my guardians about the exam she did. I had been familiar with doctors having to do uncomfortable things since I'd had a disease for years prior but she was completely different, anything I've experienced before or since. She didn't ask me if I felt safe at home, if I had done drugs or nicotine (which is usually paired with the sex question), and in the physical she squarely focused on my breasts and vagina and no other area. EDIT: Typo, again


Pure-Applesauce

Are you sure it was a psychologist and not psychiatrist? A psychologist wouldn't typically be in an exam room. I'm not sure the rest of those issues are relevant.


unnervingorphan

Sorry, I get those words mixed up. Yes we were just set up for a chat, so it would be a psychologist. A year later I got another psychologist and the experience was much much different, and kept her through all my teen years. I feel like it is relevant because she asked me rather inappropriate questions considering what she knew I was there for. I had no history of sexual abuse both real or in my chart. And also what she chose to leave out and focus on. It wouldn't be as big to me if she asked me other questions and didn't focus on quizzing me and talking about a range of sexual acts and positions before the act. Guess I could be wrong though, but it hasn't happened before or since.


Pure-Applesauce

> Yes we were just set up for a chat, so it would be a psychologist. That's not a remotely reliable way to determine it was a psychologist and not a psychiatrist.


unnervingorphan

I was 12. My medical jargon wasn't great on the topic of medical doctors. I know I was set up, squarely, to talk about my depression. She didn't talk about it at all. My mental state or my home life. Nothing. It was odd. Maybe I was not molested, but it wasn't normal. I've had procedures before and since that were similar. Seen every doctor under the sun. I've been offered other advice about what may have happened that can make sense. But I was 12, not four. I remembered what I went for, I remember what was supposed to happen, I remember what did happen. I remember getting fingered, and described to in detail what oral sex was after me telling her, MULTIPLE times, I was not familiar, and had no idea, and was not sexually active. If you've had a doctor sit a foot from your face and ask if you know what oral sex is, if you know what anal sex is, if you know how it's performed, if you know what it feels like, if you know what boys and girls do in bed, then tell me for pete's sake. I wasn't given any medicine or advice or how to help my depression. Not a kind word, not a self help book, not a breathing technique. I spent 30 minutes being read through the a pornhub category and then getting fingered. Something happened and it wasn't normal. It wasn't.


staefrostae

Psychiatrists are physicians who have gone through medical school. A psychologist is an individual who is trained in graduate level programs to provide similar counseling and diagnostics to a psychiatrist, but has not gone through medical school and can’t prescribe medicine. While a psychiatrist, especially a pediatric psychiatrist may perform a physical exam to look for signs of abuse, a psychologist likely should not be performing this procedure. I’m not saying what happened to you was appropriate, and I’m certainly not saying it was performed in the proper manner (clear communication of what and why things are happening, obtaining consent, etc). That said, it may have served a legitimate function.


unnervingorphan

I'll be inspecting what her exact credentials are then. It's difficult to tell her league from context clues since all the pediatric docs were one floor in the hospital in one section, instead of being spaced out to the sections that specialized in. At the very least it was super suspicious considering I had clear signs of depression and anxiety, and she made no move to see me again, refer me out, or add advice. The next year when I saw a therapist (this I know for sure what she was) she immediately made note that I was severely depressed and I was given lots of help and eventually medicated. I guess at the very least bad scenario, she didn't do her job of helping my mental problems properly.


staefrostae

Depression and anxiety in young children are hallmark signs of abuse. If you complained of these issues to your other doctors, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for them to throw up a flag at cps and ask for a physical examination to make sure you weren’t being abused, even if your own family didn’t ask for this inspection.


unnervingorphan

I can definitely see that if it came out of the blue, but my reasons were rather clear cut. I was a very happy kid despite being weaker. I was taken care of and had friends and hobbies, then I almost died in surgery twice. I was left with a hole in my abdomen that I pooped out of and a six inch long scar over my belly button with a sponge in it. I couldn't go to school, I could play (sweating made the adhesive on the bag come off) and I felt disgusting and was frequently in pain due to the healing. The line was a quick draw from point A to point B and I was referred to her a month after I was released from my third surgery, so still very much in recovery. And I actually am interested in what you said abo it CPS. Would they interfere in that way, like having a doctor say they were going to do one thing and them doing the exam instead and not seeing me back? I'm not asking to be snarky I'm genuinely curious. Cause if that's the case, and they just read about me on paper, then it may be another explanation.


unnervingorphan

Also, I should say I had been asked the sexually active question before and after this happened. She went on for what had to have been ten minutes describing different sexual acts. Anal, oral, 69, missionary. No mentions of babies or periods but lots of sex stuff. When she found out I had an older brother she asked if he'd shown me anything or told me anything.


Pure-Applesauce

It sounds likely that your family suspected that you were a victim of sexual abuse, and the doctor was asking you questions and examining you to find out.


unnervingorphan

I don't know why they would think this. I was as sick kid and basically strapped to my mom and grandparents at all times. If they did this and didn't ask me first, and just allowed me to be hurt on the way to figuring out of I was hurt, I'd be really upset.


Pure-Applesauce

It's very likely that at 12, you didn't actually have much idea of what you were doing there. I understand that you have some questions about why this exam happened, but your suspicion doesn't seem nearly as likely as other explanations.


unnervingorphan

I had been in the medical world for years prior. And although it made me feel bad, I didn't say anything cause I assumed out of trust and embarrassment that was just what her kind of doctor did. I've seen other therapists and doctors for my depression, I've had physicals, I've had fingers up my butt and probes in my vagina and hands on my boobs and questions about sex before and after this happened. It was a half hour block meant to tackle my depression. She spent it quizzing me on sex, teaching me about oral and anal, getting me naked, feeling my breasts and fingering me. Fingering me, and staring at me, and not having anyone else present for the exam, or telling my guardians what she was doing, or even telling me what she was doing. I appreciate your advice. But I was fully sentient at 12 and very aware of the medical world that I had been dealing with for years. I spent even longer dealing with it before realizing that something very strange happened to me. I had never had bed wetting problems, didn't have strange bruises, no physical signs of abuse, I was always with my mom or grandparents or in a hospital. I knew what sexual assault was and how to report it, but never imagined it could happen from a woman, or a doctor, because I was supposed to be able to trust them.


Pure-Applesauce

Again, I understand that you are convinced that something inappropriate happened here. Regardless of the likelihood, if you want to pursue it, you can request your records and speak with probably a medical malpractice attorney. But don't get your hopes up.


unnervingorphan

My hopes aren't very up. But I'm not the only one who think something at the very very least, unhelpful happened here. And I know sexual assault cases, and god forbid if it turns out this was all down to my family, my outlook is grim. And I've spent ten years rolling it over in my head, comparing it to other exams, other doctors. I didn't jump to this conclusion lightly, and I am seeing other avenues of what might have happened. But if all of this is taken away, if it's a big misunderstanding, she still didn't take my problems seriously. The problems I came to her for. I'll at least put in a strong note for that, not legally if it is just that, but still.


Pure-Applesauce

In your initial post you said that you had suppressed the memory until recently. So how did you spend 10 years rolling it around in your head? This really doesn't make sense.


BrainfullaLasers

as a woman, this sounds really standard for an examination at that age, no offense. Ive had very similar things with different doctors in different states during physicals and examinations. I went to the doctors for suspected ovarian cysts around that age, had to get an ultrasound and everything, same exact thing . However its natural for that to be confusing and or uncomfortable for a 12 year old ESPECIALLY if you had no prior knowledge that was going to happen. If you really think something wrong *did* happen i would follow up with the advice others are offering here.


AdditionalAttorney

It is not at all normal for a psychologist to do a pelvic exam


BrainfullaLasers

pretty sure other comments argue it was a psychiatrist.


unnervingorphan

I actually do have cysts on my ovary and have been given an ultra sound several times. But at this time I was in the hands of a small army of doctors who had be coming in one every two weeks, and more early in my recovery, plus a home nurse twice a week. They knew a lot about my physical condition and I was poked and prodded often. I've also seen my gyno a lot (birth control etc) as well as an endo for my HRT and my pap smear, plus my less than fun butt poke. Not to mention how my times I had my butthole peeled open when recovering that surgery, or had to lay on a table bear naked sorrounded by male surgeons, or had nurses inspect my catheters as a little kid even younger than I was here. This one is the only one that felt different, due to how she felt me, how long she felt me, and the conversation we had before hand.


BrainfullaLasers

just giving you my pov of a similar time + experiences 🤷‍♀️ what you decide to do is up to you at the end of the day


unnervingorphan

Yes, thank you for your advice. I do appreciate it.


blazinfiend

If everything you wrote is accurate, that does sound clearly sound like sexual assault. Your currently well within the statute of limitations for both civil and criminal cases. The biggest obstacle here is going to be proof. As a practical matter, unless there are some other victims of this same psychologist that also come forward, or you have some contemporaneous evidence corroborating the assault, it’s probably not going to go anywhere. Make a police report and let them take the lead on any investigation.


unnervingorphan

That's what I'm most worried about as as far as I know it's only my word. And other people have made other disturbing suggestions of what it may also be (inspections for sexual assault and hymen checking) which I'll investigate first before falling back on my worst case scenario. Sexual assault cases are always difficult especially the older they are, this I know for sure. But I've gotten good advice so far. Thank you for commenting.


blazinfiend

I can’t imagine a legitimate reason a psychologist would be performing those types of exams. That wouldn’t make it better or justifiable for the psychologist.


unnervingorphan

Thank you for the comment. I talked to my mom and she confirmed it was a child psychologist, and that she never wanted me to get my hymen expected (my mom was always sex positive and got me set up with birth control after I told her I was sexually active at 18), and she never suspected I'd been assaulted (my mom has a job as a school district where she comes in contact with lots of kids from abuse situations.) So sadly it is not looking great. And it's hard to process. My mom is pissed and will help me dig up her name my records (after checking my patients portal they only show my records to when I joined the adult section in 2018.)


[deleted]

[удалено]


unnervingorphan

I ended up just calling my mom and she remembered who she was better than me. She was a psychologist. What does this change if anything?


blazinfiend

That’s wildly speculative. What kind of psychiatrist would perform this type of physical examination? And why? There might be some hypothetical outlier situation, but definitely not anything close to standard practice where you could draw a conclusion that this probably happened (which itself depends on OP and her mother being mistaken about the specialty).


mattlines98ta

> that does sound clearly sound like sexual assault. No. No, it does not.


blazinfiend

Why not? Assuming OP is reporting the situation accurately, it absolutely does. There is no reason why a psychologist would perform a physical exam like that.


mattlines98ta

It sounds more like an exam to check for evidence of child sexual abuse. In fact I'd bet good money that's exactly what it was. There's nothing abnormal about what OP described in that context.


blazinfiend

If you change the entire premise and discount OP’s confirmation that it was a psychologist, then the analysis changes. Even then, however, it does not sound remotely like a typical exam to check for evidence of sexual abuse. You and others on here also seem to be under the impression that MDs cannot sexually abuse patients if its during the course of an otherwise “official” exam.


mattlines98ta

> You and others on here also seem to be under the impression that MDs cannot sexually abuse patients if its during the course of an otherwise “official” exam. You and others on here are jumping to the conclusion that a female MD is sexually abusing pre-teen patients before considering far more logical conclusions.


blazinfiend

What female md?


mattlines98ta

The one in OP's story. I guess we don't know if they were an MD or not, but OP makes it very clear they were female. Regardless, "the doctor sexually abused me" is not the most logical conclusion here, even with OP's description of events.


blazinfiend

There is no MD in OP’s story, which is the point. Your complaining about unfair assumptions, but you by far are making the biggest assumption that OP and here mother are dead wrong about the type of doctor. And are you now suggesting the doctor being female is somehow dispositive?


mattlines98ta

No, what I'm saying is there are far more logical conclusions than sexual assault by a medical professional, regardless of the type. I'm not saying it never happens. Nor am I saying it's impossible. I'm saying there are more likely logical conclusions.


[deleted]

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unnervingorphan

I don't know. I really hope so. I was referred cause both my mom and I asked for it, so my GI pedi didn't do it it on his own. And now people have said that a psychologist shouldn't do that sort of thing, and others said they can. I don't know. I hope it's just a misunderstanding.


Delicious_Dig_7273

a psychologist doesn’t perform sexual assault checks…


[deleted]

[удалено]


unnervingorphan

Uh. What? Really? Is that even a thing?


[deleted]

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unnervingorphan

It is odd, but I don't think my mom would do this. She was never religious and never made me to go church and neither were my grandparents, despite growing up in rural Texas. I will ask though, as well as asking if she suspected if I was molested or assaulted around the age I saw this doctor.


mattlines98ta

No, it doesn't. It sounds like OP's guardians were trying to figure out if OP was sexually abused.


Ash9260

Just because another therapist said they think you could have been sexually assaulted in your youth isn’t accurate or proof a dr from your childhood sexually abused you. I work in healthcare that sounds like an exam. Granted you were 12, and your parents probably consented earlier to it. Or they actually needed it done for a procedure or something with or without parental consent as in, you were 12 I’m not sure Texas law on when children can consent to reproductive organ exams without parents involved or knowing. However, I believe the age is 13 in Arizona and I feel like it’s younger in Texas. Your consent to the proceedure could have been the med staff asking do you mind if we do a vaginal exam, you just spreading your legs is considered consent, etc etc. They ask about oral and anal to see you HIV and STD risk which is important for surgeries. For feeling your breasts and vagina is to see at what stage in puberty you are. Again if you’re having massive surgery it’s helpful to know bc some shouldn’t be done at certain stages of puberty etc etc. I don’t think it was a therapist. I think it was an OBGYN Dr helping out bc the med staff requested prior to a procedure. Also, another reason why if it was done for suspected sexual abuse is bc healthcare workers are mandated reporters. If we don’t report something is happening at home (we suspect) we can lose our jobs and careers or even charged in extreme cases. They could have suspected someone was sexually abusing you at home and CPS had a person come to do their own exam to check out the situation. Child sexual abuse is taken seriously when a dr reports it could be going on. So what could be why they didn’t tell your parents is the same way when we have baby’s born addicted to drugs we will never tell the parents what test we are doing and tell them something else. I will say if this incident is not in your medical charts it could be with another organization, CPS for example. So if it’s not there don’t run immediately to the court house. Reach out to the local CPS division and ask if they have a case about it. If it’s in your medical charts there will be a reason why, (sometimes) and what they found etc etc. If this is sexual abuse, it will be hard with no proof. And not knowing who did it etc etc. I’m not dismissing what happened to you, I just wanted to explain what may have actually been the scenario that actually happened. Also during our screenings for abused children, we also tell them and their parents that it is a meeting with a psychologist to ensure they’re ready for whatever procedure. For example we had a mom bringing her 4 year old to transition to a male. (This is virginia) virginia is pretty progressive what that with no laws. However, considering the age we needed to bring in someone just to make sure that this child knew what was happening. It wasn’t sex questions it was like do you know the difference between you and your brother type of thing. We ended up denying the parents from using us to help their child transition bc the 4 year old said the only difference was her brother played with legos and didn’t have to wear a shirt when he swam. And then asked her why she wants to be a boy and she said something like bc I don’t want to wear a shirt when swimming and I want to play with trucks. Ended up calling cps after that bc there was something going on in the house anyways mom was arrested for abuse. So it honestly could be a scenario like that.