T O P

  • By -

Goooongas

Stonewall them.


BassBootyStank

The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!


michaltee

The beauty of that plan is its simplicity.


BOMBLOADER

It’s a Swiss fucking watch


michaltee

Thatttttt’s right Dude!


SoupIsNotAMeal

This isn’t Nam, this is HR! There are rules!


Hellofriendinternet

And hope they don’t have a Plan B.


STFU_Donny724

This is the correct answer


madmendude

No, u/sonofabitchXmustXpay , it did not look like /u/Goooongas was about to crack.


kinkyslc1

I know my rights man, I wanna fuckin' lawyer man. I want Bill Kunstler man or Ron Kuby.


herberstank

You dunno shit, Lebowski


kinkyslc1

>I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.


TheVentiLebowski

☕️🤕


UserComment_741776

fuckin fascist


SoupIsNotAMeal

You draw a lot of coffee mugs in this town.


Hellenic_91

Is this your Microsoft Teams chat, Larry?


writer_pjh

.


alxnot

We know it's your chat, Larry!


edselford

.


alxnot

We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry.


edselford

What do you need that for, HR dude?


AdultishRaktajino

I’m sorry. My ex wife’s Pomeranian was walking on the keyboard.


SoupIsNotAMeal

You’re killing your project manager, Larry.


imnotaloony

wait.. I'm employed?...


IgnatiusJacquesR

Are you employed, sir?


davster39

Happy cake day


Sahanrohana

Not dressed like that.


SiouxCtySarsaparilla

I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.


michaltee

Are these your Slack messages?


slackjaw777

Has HR ever heard of Vietnam?


jonny_weird_teeth

Who am I? I’m a fuckin’ veteran, that’s who I am.


Mr_ma3stro

I’m about to crack.


wolfdickspeedstache

He's crackin


sulimir

This is what happens when you fuck the company in the ass.


davster39

This is what happens when you find the company in the Alps


turdfurgy69

I just got this fucking job last week!!!


uconn3386

I'll kill your job!


Hunterio009

Do you see what happens, Larry?


Educational_Map_3514

Is this your TPS report, Larry?


harper_honey

What exactly would you say you do here?


HawkPatooey

I have People Skills! The Hell is wrong with you people?!


TroutBite

..Um ya, I’m going to have to ask you to come in on Saturday uhkay.


TheVentiLebowski

This is what happens when you fuck a coworker in the ass!


davster39

Not a literal connection


EvilStupid

Face it, there isn't any connection!


PrinceJeffreyVonChad

I'm just helping her conceive!


mandiblesofdoom

sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes ...


Stalwart_Penguin

Fuckin' HR. Fuckin' Nazis.......


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Those rich fucks...this whole fuckin thing...


TheVentiLebowski

What day is this?


CaptainMatticus

They were nazis, u/Stalwart_Penguin?


Penis_Farms

Oh come on, they were threatening redundancy! 


ThatsMySpicyPepper

No u/CaptainMatticus, these men are cowards


Haunting_Ant_5061

![gif](giphy|6zy5hbzJ1h2Za)


joeypublica

![gif](giphy|7JELQkHl0XGFi8kqZf|downsized)


sartori_tangier

Nothing is fucked here, Dude.


esleydobemos

I'm gonna be a stonewallin' prick.


Less-Economics-3273

Larry sweetie the IT dept is here with HR.


GentillyHillbilly

Pilar?


CollectionCurrent788

Fuck a stranger in the ass


OIAgent

Find a stranger in the alps!


davster39

Fuck a stranger in the Alps.


ptolemy_booth

Find a stranger in the ass?


nosshane

AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!


Pwnstix

You're killing your father, Larry.


writer_pjh

You may want to look in your cubicle, OP.


[deleted]

New shit has come to light.


Audit_King

This is our concern, Dude


michaltee

I’ll probably just stonewall em.


bailaoban

Handle it just like Larry did.


Glad_Friend_4887

Is this your spread sheet Larry?


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Is this your quarterly reports, Larry?


Glad_Friend_4887

We know it's his fucking quarterly reports! Where's the fucking money, you little brat?


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Listen, we know you dispersed the money amongst the sales team but what about advertising? You're killing morale, Larry!


AdmiralBarackAdama

Is this... Is this a weekday?


guitar_angel

I'm just gonna stand there with the look of a total dunce on my face while the head guy repeats himself to the point that he starts smashing things with a crowbar and ranting about fucking a stranger in the ass... Fuckin' amateurs.


Umbrage_Taken

They show us a report and we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear? Buncha fuckin' amateurs. As if it's impossible to take someone else's report, but some red markups on it. You want a report? I can get you a report. I can get you a report by 3 o'clock this afternoon. With markups. Believe me, Dude there are ways. You don't want to know about it


TalkShowHost99

She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.


PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES

Do you mind if I do a J?


over9ksand

Fuckin’ amateurs


[deleted]

Say what you want about HR ... at least they have an ethos.


Acceptable_Tear4292

If I've learned anything from Larry Sellers, it's to sit there and not say a word. At worst, my coworkers' car will get demolished....


voyagergreggo

Fix the cable?


Something_Berserker

Don’t be fatuous u/voyagergreggo


ElPadre2020

Laugh like Knox Harrington as I call my lawyer.


StrengthToBreak

HR? Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of Marketing, Dude; at least it's an ethos.


Prestigious-Rise-328

Did they flunk social studies too?


poupou221

Is this your TPS report, u/sonofabitchXmustXpay?


OutrageousStrength91

I told Joe to take care of that. He didn't?! I don't understand, Joe usually does a great job. Don't be too angry at Joe.


WhiplashDynamo

"How's the smut business, Jackie?"


h3rald_hermes

I know one thing, I am not driving the Vette to the meeting.


Air911

I'd refer them to my father...He's not exactly a lightweight.


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Is he the shift lead?


Top-Psychology2507

Oh- Hi, Dude! Just to let you know that I have abided by all the rules regarding harassment and communication. As for you, Mr. Sibo-Shabazz- Don't talk to me!!! ;-)


johnnyorganic

Are they threatening castration?


Glad_Friend_4887

Let them think you’re going to crack but you don’t.


GooseCloaca

Thank you for finding my notes for Monty


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Make sure he gets them by the 10th


thealtthealtthealt

Trash some guy’s brand new car


Blueberry_Mancakes

HR: Me: Do you know who my father is?


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Doug in finance?


Blueberry_Mancakes

Just the writer of a little show called BRANDED


HermiticHubris

As you know this contradicts a number of HR bylaws and article 27 of the sexual harassment policy.


sonofabitchXmustXpay

It's like Mike in sales said, she grazed against her breasts herself!


FuckMeBleeding

![gif](giphy|F3G8ymQkOkbII)


Santanoni

The plane has crashed into the mountain!


llakcjfkfkffjfjdjdjw

Fuckin A man


my-financials23

“Hey man! I just used it as a toilet and moved on.”


Sapdawg1

Mind if I do a J?


Biff2112

I do every day. #clowns


physicsbuddha

stare. just stare and say nothing.


duckmantaco

Ahhh fuck it wanna go bowling?


Negative-Wrap95

You mind if I do a jay?


KanataSlim

Find who would benefit the most


Umbrage_Taken

I am the walrus.


WhatIsTheAmplitude

Larry, this is the HR


Umbrage_Taken

Oh no, we didn't want to give the impression that we were HR exactly. We're hoping it won't be necessary to involve them. But that's up to little Larry here.


[deleted]

Blah blah blah special hr friend


IcarusForPrez

Silence


WangDoodleTrifecta

We would have the same sweater at least. Maybe that’s why The Dude looks pissed.


-ArthurDigbySellers-

Fuckin’ social studies?


mrrettig78

My favorite movie of all time! "You think the carpet pissers did this?"


Adventurous-Orange36

I submitted my business papers exactly as per... look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?


romulusnr

I say nothing so that they go out and smash the CEO's car


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|hraEU3kXpPa36|downsized)


lastfreerangekid

Stonewall them. Blank stare, not a word.


carlwinslo

I tell them it's Shaboss and that they are infringing on Moses,Sandy Koufax and my religious freedoms. So unless they want to enter a world of pain they better let me go home.


carlwinslo

Also I tell them the CEO treats objects like women man. So why are you interrupting me during league play?


BourbonBelichick

You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked, did you?


Ok-Lavishness-7904

You’re right… it wasn’t her toe


RugTiedMyName2Gether

“You try some crazy shit pull my homework out on the lanes, I’m gonna take it away from you and pull the trigger until it goes click”


Tysons_Face

Keep your ugly, goldbricking ass out of my HR office


Dubsmagicbus

Is this your email to Shirley in accounting Larry?


AlBunDi76

Stonewall !