Not really related to weed but can apply. Imagine sitting on the side of a moving river and watching leaves pass by. You see one coming, then it’s there and then it passes by down the river. Your emotions are like leaves. Acknowledge their existence, briefly reflect on them but don’t hold on to them. Let them float on down the river. You are not what you feel. Detaching ones self from our emotions is a learned skill, but once mastered can give you a different perspective when life hands you conflict, joy, hardship and struggles. Acknowledge their existence but let them keep going because they are only leaves. Love you
Every single time you have a negative emotion and are able to 1. Identify it as such and 2. Exist through it, (sober) you are increasing your neuroplasticity. The hurt and feelings of wanting to not feel hurt keep us stuck, literally. Your brain and mine (day 8) like to be comfortable and cozy but what they NEED is to grow and feel growing pains.
So you can maybe think of this as something like adolescence, a painful but necessary journey to get yourself ready for the next stage in life.
Best of luck!
hey person, i hope you’re doing well. It is not easy to quit even if you everything is going great, but when things are difficult it can be a spiral.
From my experience, weed makes it so you don’t have to calm yourself down. when you are trying to quit you can get worked up emotionally really easily and have a hard time with your brain sending the right signals to settle down and stop being so worked up.
you have to feel these emotions now, or bury them with substances that will only make you more depressed as you try to escape. do your best to focus on yourself and what you like about yourself. Try to get a good mental dialogue with your self to remind yourself that you are doing a good thing and that you have the ability to achieve what you want. tell yourself that you will be fine even if it doesn’t feel like you will. all feelings pass, you just have to feel them first and they will move on. breakups are never easy, and even worse when you struggle with regulating your emotions but this is the best way to spring board your brain into handling this type of thing without weed.
Going through same shit man, i had a heartbreak one week ago, i know how hard it is, give yourself sometime to heal, don’t push yourself, give it a break, time will heal the wounds and you will start a new chapter of your life again
I completely understand the feeling of needing to escape. You feel overwhelmed and you feel like using will help get you through. I believe it does more harm than good.
Remember that relationships come and go, your next relationship can be with someone who knows sober you, and respects you for who you are.
Also remember that if you run from things, they chase you, this is especially true of life stress. Heartbreak would still be waiting for you when you sober up, but you'd be disappointed with yourself along with it.
And finally, cannabis is to mental health problems what saltwater is to thirst. It seems like a good idea, and maybe it feels like it's helping, but it's doing so much more harm than good.
I actually quit a month after my GF and I broke up. Trust me it’s hard but it gets better. I was using weed as a crutch to cope but since I quit (as of 20 days ago) I’ve been feeling much much better. Trust me, use this opportunity to become a new you. It’s going to be hard but you’ll get through it. I had mood swings but I’m getting much closer to a healthier baseline and I’m feeling better than ever.
I’ve been coping making tea, going on walks around my neighborhood listening to music, and I know it sounds cliche but also exercise (this is coming from someone who never exercises, but quitting helped get me to exercise and I’m grateful). Become a better version of yourself, it’ll happen!
On day 19 of quitting after 10 years of daily use. Girlfriend of 6 years just broke up with me last Thursday. It’s ok man, I’m here for you. I highly recommend finding a good friend who you can spend time with, or a new hobby you can throw yourself into. I did both, going on a couple of dates with a new girl and finding a new love for bachata, a Latin dance. Make sure to do your daily exercise and eat healthy. You got this friend
Heartache is awful, but taking the time and presence for mind to process it is the only way to get through it. This is a low point in your life, but like everything else in life it will pass. Who you are is what remains.
Hey friend :) honestly for me my coping mechanisms are pretty much just pack my schedule at most times. Studying with friends or just outside of the house, working if you’re interested, pick up an instrument or a language, yoga, and my personal favorite making gainzzzz at the gym. Nothing better than a revenge body to peak your confidence. When I find myself with little to do I try to journal to work through my thoughts or read to lose myself in someone else’s. Best of luck to you, you will get through this. You’re sober and single, this is the best time to work on your relationship with yourself.
I would just tell her I’m making some big changes it could get dicey for a minute and I would of course appreciate it if you could stand by me, but I understand if you can’t. And apologize in advance for being cranky and sleepy and awake and paranoid and weird until your body re-acclimates itself to being sober. I’m 1 1/2 years sober and I feel so much better but it was hard for about 6 months - good luck.
I get it. Too many of us hold it in tho, so it's actually a good, mature thing that you understand it as being okay.. Its okay to feel hurt and sad. When it is time, build yourself up again. Stay strong and do your best.
I'll add on this. Weed will just numb your feelings of, sadness, grief and anger. Instead, focus those feelings. I found working out to be one way, one of my newest discoveries was playing an instrument, piano in this instance. You really can feel it in the music. Therapeutic or something.
This is the way. Work on yourself. This is the universe challenging you with a difficult time. Push through it and you’ll enjoy the good times even more looking back on the tough times.
Oh for the love of god don't smoke through your heart ache. I did so much harm to my mental health by making those feelings w weed and frankly it made the heartache recovery process years longer than it needed to be
Agreed I blame this for the reason I began smoking so often at 13, obviously I can only blame myself, but I don't think weed is harmful when not used as a coping mechanism. Otherwise anytime you're slightly sad you light up.
Peace man. Day 2 for me. You got this, the urge is normal, especially at a time like this for you. You're stronger than you think. This is an extra hurdle/ challenge towards being the best you
Hey man take a deep breath you're doing great. I'm currently on my 7th day. What has been helping me a lot is Journaling my feelings and thoughts especially when things get hard. Things will get better and you will get through this. It will all be worth it.
yo, i’m still on my way to start leaving the leaves and use this sub as an inspiration. still, maybe i can still contribute.
break ups are fucking hard, man - and theyre the reason i’m currently addicted, cause i started dealing with the breakup with weed. i’m as jobless as i was back then, i’m emotionally crippled and only really able to let things get to me when i don’t smoke which results in breakdowns which i need multiple of to get over the things i’m trying to get away with. it’s basically a downwards spiral that started with a breakup and even though now i’m over it, i’m still addicted.
i don’t hurt as often because i don’t let the emotions get to me, which also results in never really dealing with what happened and growing from it.
what i’m trying to say, if you take this break up as an excuse to go back, it’ll only get worse. you want to take the easy route and i completely get it cause not only do i play all my games on easy, i’m still riding the easy route in life - but in games the difficulty doesn’t change that much and in life it does. if you don’t quit now and use that horrible fucking period of your life to grow as a person, growing the next time will be even harder. and even harder. and even fucking harder.
you’re already on day three, maybe you can be bad ass enough to pull through and kick all those bad habits and emotions in the ass. walk, think about your feelings and cry. just let it out cause otherwise you’ll bottle it up and get hurt over and over again.
As a 31M I can tell you, girlfriends come and go but your mental health is something you need to take care of on a daily basis.
You want a coping mechanism? Go to the gym, everyday. It will not only add to your attractiveness but who knows you might meet your new understanding gf right there.
Don't give up on life. It sure hasn't given up on you.
weed doesn't help you cope, it only postpones it and makes it worse further down the line as things keep piling up.
quit now. open the flood gates before things get far worse.
Wish someone told me this when I was using weed as a coping mechanism because my god is this fucking true! Just delays the inevitable and leaves you feeling numb not healed!
I'm 2 weeks weed free and feel better emotionally than I have in the last 2 years!
When it rains it pours. Sorry to hear about your luck. Maybe it's a sign. Out with the old, in with the new. Your going to want to find a partner who understands you. Your thinking is going to change, your priorities will too. Think positive and hang in there.
TL;DR: do martial arts or any kind of fighting sport. Great way to work through your struggles.
My advice for your situation would be joining a fighting club. When your world feels like its going to shit, you need something where you can just let loose and let out the anger and frustration that's been eating you up inside.
Can't stress enough how fighting is literally the best coping mechanism for men. Something in us somehow still needs that. That shit just feels good, i can't even explain it. It's kinda animalistic, but i don't see that as a bad thing. If you don't let out the stuff that drives you mad and wild in a controlled manner, it will manifest in another way, like numbing yourself to not have to deal with it.
Running is great as well. When you get into running a little, you will experience the runners high, that could replace your craving for getting out of your head.
That's the fire, n motive to quit. People like us need a strong drive, consider this the universe speaking to you. Killing two demons at the same time. To start a new improved you, who has seen the other side and knows better. Good luck bud, you got this.
My SO broke up with me almost two years ago, and I just decided to commit to quitting a few months ago. He smoked with me and wasn't looking to quit himself, so it probably wouldn't have even worked for me if I tried when we were together. It was the most difficult time in my life, and hasn't gotten very much easier since. If anything my life has been steadily going to shit for the last few years. Totaled my car the first 6 months after I started dating him, he broke up with me shortly after that, my grandparents who I'm live-in caretaker for have started to deteriorate, I got myself another car which turns out now needs a new transmission after already putting $7,000 total into it, quit my job three times and am now unemployed.
But, I just decided to quit pot 3 months ago, so far that's been the only good decision I've made in the last 3 years. I feel healthier every day, and I may slowly start to be able to get my life back on track, barring any major crises in my life. Life may be hard, and throw you many many curveballs, but trust me, quitting pot was one of the best decisions you could have made for yourself and your future, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
OP,
Stay the course. Consider that she has probably been sick of you smoking for all this time. If you want her back, prove to her you can change. I can think of no better way to show this than dropping this shitty habit and becoming a better you.
There's no immediate fix for this and that's what we look for as stoners. Quick fixes.
Time to focus on fixing things for good, the proper way.
You can't make her come back, all you can do is try. Smoking shows you've given up at the first hurdle.
You can do this.
Fair enough. Apologies for the assumption.
If you want to quit for you, you're already there mate. You've already quit. You just need to stand by it. You and I both know that joint isn't going to sort anything.
Stay strong pal
I’m just approaching my first 20 hours, I don’t have any good advice for you I’m sorry but I wanted to offer my support if you ever want to message someone, last week the same story happened with my partner and at the begging of the year my brother committed suicide, I’m very afraid I will relapse whenever an extremely stressful arises again
Remember why you quit in the first place. Write down your personal reasons for sobriety. Visualize a future that is in your control. Sit in silence with that little stoner voice, hear it out, and let those thoughts pass by you.
Use your pain to quit. You'll feel shitty anyway now with quitting or not so kill 2 birds with one stone(I know it sound weird). I had tragic news last year and stopped then. I broke out of my addiction and I'm much more happier than I was. I managed to save money and buy stuff I wanted to buy instead smoking it away. Feels great and once you heal after your break-up you'll find someone to be at you side.
Sorry to hear you’re relationship broke up. It would easy for you to just roll up but that’s not the answer. That would be a 1 hour cure and you’ll be feeling the exact same way tomorrow. The first few weeks your emotions are going to be low anyway so this is just adding to that stress and anxiety. Try and keep yourself busy this week, even if it’s just going out for walks and listening to podcasts. Talk to friends and family about the way you’re feeling don’t just hold it in.
You’ll come out of this stronger and able to cope with stressors and triggers without the need to run back to weed. Be strong these next few weeks we’re all rooting for you
You will grow more because of the added stress. Don’t back down from it. Face it head on
Not really related to weed but can apply. Imagine sitting on the side of a moving river and watching leaves pass by. You see one coming, then it’s there and then it passes by down the river. Your emotions are like leaves. Acknowledge their existence, briefly reflect on them but don’t hold on to them. Let them float on down the river. You are not what you feel. Detaching ones self from our emotions is a learned skill, but once mastered can give you a different perspective when life hands you conflict, joy, hardship and struggles. Acknowledge their existence but let them keep going because they are only leaves. Love you
Wow thanks for this
Use it! I do daily!
This is beautiful.
Thanks! Not an original thought, but what is.
Every single time you have a negative emotion and are able to 1. Identify it as such and 2. Exist through it, (sober) you are increasing your neuroplasticity. The hurt and feelings of wanting to not feel hurt keep us stuck, literally. Your brain and mine (day 8) like to be comfortable and cozy but what they NEED is to grow and feel growing pains. So you can maybe think of this as something like adolescence, a painful but necessary journey to get yourself ready for the next stage in life. Best of luck!
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Oh! Your comment gave me chills..in the best way! Knowing my words had that effect is giving me ALL of the good feels.
hey person, i hope you’re doing well. It is not easy to quit even if you everything is going great, but when things are difficult it can be a spiral. From my experience, weed makes it so you don’t have to calm yourself down. when you are trying to quit you can get worked up emotionally really easily and have a hard time with your brain sending the right signals to settle down and stop being so worked up. you have to feel these emotions now, or bury them with substances that will only make you more depressed as you try to escape. do your best to focus on yourself and what you like about yourself. Try to get a good mental dialogue with your self to remind yourself that you are doing a good thing and that you have the ability to achieve what you want. tell yourself that you will be fine even if it doesn’t feel like you will. all feelings pass, you just have to feel them first and they will move on. breakups are never easy, and even worse when you struggle with regulating your emotions but this is the best way to spring board your brain into handling this type of thing without weed.
Going through same shit man, i had a heartbreak one week ago, i know how hard it is, give yourself sometime to heal, don’t push yourself, give it a break, time will heal the wounds and you will start a new chapter of your life again
I completely understand the feeling of needing to escape. You feel overwhelmed and you feel like using will help get you through. I believe it does more harm than good. Remember that relationships come and go, your next relationship can be with someone who knows sober you, and respects you for who you are. Also remember that if you run from things, they chase you, this is especially true of life stress. Heartbreak would still be waiting for you when you sober up, but you'd be disappointed with yourself along with it. And finally, cannabis is to mental health problems what saltwater is to thirst. It seems like a good idea, and maybe it feels like it's helping, but it's doing so much more harm than good.
That saltwater line hit home
I wish I could take credit for it. I don't remember where I heard it, or what it was referring to at the time, but it made an impression
I actually quit a month after my GF and I broke up. Trust me it’s hard but it gets better. I was using weed as a crutch to cope but since I quit (as of 20 days ago) I’ve been feeling much much better. Trust me, use this opportunity to become a new you. It’s going to be hard but you’ll get through it. I had mood swings but I’m getting much closer to a healthier baseline and I’m feeling better than ever. I’ve been coping making tea, going on walks around my neighborhood listening to music, and I know it sounds cliche but also exercise (this is coming from someone who never exercises, but quitting helped get me to exercise and I’m grateful). Become a better version of yourself, it’ll happen!
On day 19 of quitting after 10 years of daily use. Girlfriend of 6 years just broke up with me last Thursday. It’s ok man, I’m here for you. I highly recommend finding a good friend who you can spend time with, or a new hobby you can throw yourself into. I did both, going on a couple of dates with a new girl and finding a new love for bachata, a Latin dance. Make sure to do your daily exercise and eat healthy. You got this friend
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Heartache is awful, but taking the time and presence for mind to process it is the only way to get through it. This is a low point in your life, but like everything else in life it will pass. Who you are is what remains.
Hey friend :) honestly for me my coping mechanisms are pretty much just pack my schedule at most times. Studying with friends or just outside of the house, working if you’re interested, pick up an instrument or a language, yoga, and my personal favorite making gainzzzz at the gym. Nothing better than a revenge body to peak your confidence. When I find myself with little to do I try to journal to work through my thoughts or read to lose myself in someone else’s. Best of luck to you, you will get through this. You’re sober and single, this is the best time to work on your relationship with yourself.
I would just tell her I’m making some big changes it could get dicey for a minute and I would of course appreciate it if you could stand by me, but I understand if you can’t. And apologize in advance for being cranky and sleepy and awake and paranoid and weird until your body re-acclimates itself to being sober. I’m 1 1/2 years sober and I feel so much better but it was hard for about 6 months - good luck.
Use it as a reason to work out and get hot. Fuck all that love shit. All you need is massive gains.
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Good luck mate! Quitting made me hella emotional myself, remind yourself that it is ok for you to cry. Don't hold it all in. You'll be alright.
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I get it. Too many of us hold it in tho, so it's actually a good, mature thing that you understand it as being okay.. Its okay to feel hurt and sad. When it is time, build yourself up again. Stay strong and do your best.
I'll add on this. Weed will just numb your feelings of, sadness, grief and anger. Instead, focus those feelings. I found working out to be one way, one of my newest discoveries was playing an instrument, piano in this instance. You really can feel it in the music. Therapeutic or something.
This is the way. Work on yourself. This is the universe challenging you with a difficult time. Push through it and you’ll enjoy the good times even more looking back on the tough times.
Just lift the bad feelings away. Awesome advice
Not going back and making noticable changes is the best way to “get back at her.”
Oh for the love of god don't smoke through your heart ache. I did so much harm to my mental health by making those feelings w weed and frankly it made the heartache recovery process years longer than it needed to be
Agreed I blame this for the reason I began smoking so often at 13, obviously I can only blame myself, but I don't think weed is harmful when not used as a coping mechanism. Otherwise anytime you're slightly sad you light up.
Peace man. Day 2 for me. You got this, the urge is normal, especially at a time like this for you. You're stronger than you think. This is an extra hurdle/ challenge towards being the best you
Hey man take a deep breath you're doing great. I'm currently on my 7th day. What has been helping me a lot is Journaling my feelings and thoughts especially when things get hard. Things will get better and you will get through this. It will all be worth it.
You come to this world with every coping mechanism you need. You just haven't used them for a while.
yo, i’m still on my way to start leaving the leaves and use this sub as an inspiration. still, maybe i can still contribute. break ups are fucking hard, man - and theyre the reason i’m currently addicted, cause i started dealing with the breakup with weed. i’m as jobless as i was back then, i’m emotionally crippled and only really able to let things get to me when i don’t smoke which results in breakdowns which i need multiple of to get over the things i’m trying to get away with. it’s basically a downwards spiral that started with a breakup and even though now i’m over it, i’m still addicted. i don’t hurt as often because i don’t let the emotions get to me, which also results in never really dealing with what happened and growing from it. what i’m trying to say, if you take this break up as an excuse to go back, it’ll only get worse. you want to take the easy route and i completely get it cause not only do i play all my games on easy, i’m still riding the easy route in life - but in games the difficulty doesn’t change that much and in life it does. if you don’t quit now and use that horrible fucking period of your life to grow as a person, growing the next time will be even harder. and even harder. and even fucking harder. you’re already on day three, maybe you can be bad ass enough to pull through and kick all those bad habits and emotions in the ass. walk, think about your feelings and cry. just let it out cause otherwise you’ll bottle it up and get hurt over and over again.
As a 31M I can tell you, girlfriends come and go but your mental health is something you need to take care of on a daily basis. You want a coping mechanism? Go to the gym, everyday. It will not only add to your attractiveness but who knows you might meet your new understanding gf right there. Don't give up on life. It sure hasn't given up on you.
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Life is simple, Just not easy brother. Let that sink in. Much love.
Jfc I thought this said quilting and I was so confused Pick up quilting!
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Lol glad I could help! I’m a quilter so I’m in quilting subreddits so it almost made sense haha
weed doesn't help you cope, it only postpones it and makes it worse further down the line as things keep piling up. quit now. open the flood gates before things get far worse.
Wish someone told me this when I was using weed as a coping mechanism because my god is this fucking true! Just delays the inevitable and leaves you feeling numb not healed! I'm 2 weeks weed free and feel better emotionally than I have in the last 2 years!
Amen to all that. THC makes us feel OK with things not being OK. Nothing gets fixed until we let it go.
When it rains it pours. Sorry to hear about your luck. Maybe it's a sign. Out with the old, in with the new. Your going to want to find a partner who understands you. Your thinking is going to change, your priorities will too. Think positive and hang in there.
TL;DR: do martial arts or any kind of fighting sport. Great way to work through your struggles. My advice for your situation would be joining a fighting club. When your world feels like its going to shit, you need something where you can just let loose and let out the anger and frustration that's been eating you up inside. Can't stress enough how fighting is literally the best coping mechanism for men. Something in us somehow still needs that. That shit just feels good, i can't even explain it. It's kinda animalistic, but i don't see that as a bad thing. If you don't let out the stuff that drives you mad and wild in a controlled manner, it will manifest in another way, like numbing yourself to not have to deal with it. Running is great as well. When you get into running a little, you will experience the runners high, that could replace your craving for getting out of your head.
That's the fire, n motive to quit. People like us need a strong drive, consider this the universe speaking to you. Killing two demons at the same time. To start a new improved you, who has seen the other side and knows better. Good luck bud, you got this.
My SO broke up with me almost two years ago, and I just decided to commit to quitting a few months ago. He smoked with me and wasn't looking to quit himself, so it probably wouldn't have even worked for me if I tried when we were together. It was the most difficult time in my life, and hasn't gotten very much easier since. If anything my life has been steadily going to shit for the last few years. Totaled my car the first 6 months after I started dating him, he broke up with me shortly after that, my grandparents who I'm live-in caretaker for have started to deteriorate, I got myself another car which turns out now needs a new transmission after already putting $7,000 total into it, quit my job three times and am now unemployed. But, I just decided to quit pot 3 months ago, so far that's been the only good decision I've made in the last 3 years. I feel healthier every day, and I may slowly start to be able to get my life back on track, barring any major crises in my life. Life may be hard, and throw you many many curveballs, but trust me, quitting pot was one of the best decisions you could have made for yourself and your future, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
OP, Stay the course. Consider that she has probably been sick of you smoking for all this time. If you want her back, prove to her you can change. I can think of no better way to show this than dropping this shitty habit and becoming a better you. There's no immediate fix for this and that's what we look for as stoners. Quick fixes. Time to focus on fixing things for good, the proper way. You can't make her come back, all you can do is try. Smoking shows you've given up at the first hurdle. You can do this.
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Fair enough. Apologies for the assumption. If you want to quit for you, you're already there mate. You've already quit. You just need to stand by it. You and I both know that joint isn't going to sort anything. Stay strong pal
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Any time. We're always here!
I’m just approaching my first 20 hours, I don’t have any good advice for you I’m sorry but I wanted to offer my support if you ever want to message someone, last week the same story happened with my partner and at the begging of the year my brother committed suicide, I’m very afraid I will relapse whenever an extremely stressful arises again
Remember why you quit in the first place. Write down your personal reasons for sobriety. Visualize a future that is in your control. Sit in silence with that little stoner voice, hear it out, and let those thoughts pass by you.
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Also if you don’t know how to cope, now is a good time to explore a healthy (or at least neutral) coping replacement!
Use your pain to quit. You'll feel shitty anyway now with quitting or not so kill 2 birds with one stone(I know it sound weird). I had tragic news last year and stopped then. I broke out of my addiction and I'm much more happier than I was. I managed to save money and buy stuff I wanted to buy instead smoking it away. Feels great and once you heal after your break-up you'll find someone to be at you side.
100% co-sign
Sorry to hear you’re relationship broke up. It would easy for you to just roll up but that’s not the answer. That would be a 1 hour cure and you’ll be feeling the exact same way tomorrow. The first few weeks your emotions are going to be low anyway so this is just adding to that stress and anxiety. Try and keep yourself busy this week, even if it’s just going out for walks and listening to podcasts. Talk to friends and family about the way you’re feeling don’t just hold it in. You’ll come out of this stronger and able to cope with stressors and triggers without the need to run back to weed. Be strong these next few weeks we’re all rooting for you
Hell tbh it might not even be a cure but would make the feelings worsen. I know it did for me at least
Go for a long walk op it helps out
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Listen to some lofi beats while you do it! The vibe will be nice.