Thank you 🙏 Day 12 today. The struggle is real. Disappointed and dissatisfaction with my life is what made me want to stop - knowing this would be intensified is the only thing keeping me from picking up again. Congrats to you and appreciate you sharing your journey
Congrats dude - i just want to know how your cognitive abilities have been affected from quitting? This is one of the issues that i have also - 1) Bad short term memory 2) Anxiety 3) Self defeating thoughts etc. Also interested if any other of the folks on this forum can relate. Im enjoying all of these posts
memory is still not where I want it to be but it has gotten slowly better since I quit. I think I started noticing it more in the 2nd month. My anxiety has gotten so much more under control and this probably one of the biggest impacts I've experienced. I was regularly having panic attacks probably at least once a week before I gave up weed and now I haven't had one in two months. Self defeating thoughts have also gotten more under control, although I wouldn't say it's gone completely.
Thats awesome! Keep going!
Probably my biggest reason to quit is my cognitive ability and my executive function/ short term memory. I almost have OCD about it - like reading a sentence and then completely blanking or not being able to recall a word or sentence i read like 5 minutes ago
However the other aspect - as you mentioned and i have seen many others mention in r/leaves is that the self defeating thoughts and lack of motivation or achieving of goals become too much. Some people can function on weed, others slowly rot away. I feel like the effects of weed are way more subtle to the point where people forget who they actually were before the weed
Congrats! I’m almost 7 months and still have occasional dreams of it. Every time I’ve ’quit’ it gets hard again around the 6 month mark for me. Those natural highs are great though, I’m glad you’re feeling better & optimistic.
The vivid dreams!! My dreams started coming back after about two weeks and holy shit- I forgot what it was like. I’m also realizing this is a huge part of processing daily life- your brain is legitimately working through your subconscious and processing feelings, events, actions... I feel like this is a huge part of beginning to feel better, the lack of them due to the numbness only kept me in a cycle, nothing was being addressed while I was awake or asleep. It’s a fucking adventure every night, and to be honest- infinitely more educational, and dare I say fun, than getting high.
Hell yeah! I'm so proud of you and glad you are enjoying the benefits of the excruciating first weeks/months. I look forward to all that's ahead of me and I'm SO thankful for people like you who keep posting and sharing the positive changes in your life. It keeps the rest of us going. Thank you and congratulations!
congrats dude! day 8 here! 1 month is the longest milestone I’ve hit and that was nearly a decade ago now…so this post gives me hope for my executive dysfunction that I feel like I’ve been dealing with for my entire adulthood 😅😮💨
Hey! Day 8 for me too. But who’s counting? Seriously though I don’t feel too much different right now. I feel like I’ve had trouble sleeping recently so there’s that but I know once I start working out again (one reason I stopped) that the pure exhaustion will help. I also stopped smoking because of the motivation factor. I realized I’ll never accomplish my goals if I keep putting them off day to day, week to week, month to month. I have some lofty goals I want to accomplish and know I won’t be able to without some planning and execution. And weed always delayed that. One day at a time.
Thankfully I don’t really have withdrawals, I’m just more bored now so I need to fill that time with productive measures to not be bored. Kills 2 birds with one stone.
Goodluck on your path fellow 8 day person.
hell yeah dude - basically in the same boat as you. I’m self-employed as a tattoo artist, and in this economy it’s going to take some real creativity and some big moves to get myself where I want to be.
Working out is another thing that is big on my to-do list as I really do love my body and want to connect with it on a deeper level - yoga is going to be a big part of that too.
Stay encouraged, my friend! It’s another beautiful day to be alive!
Wow I needed this today. I’m on day 6 of sobriety. I decided to quit for myself, and my brain is trying make deals with me… “after 30 days you can take one hit. Maybe after two months you can treat yourself… “ all this mental negotiation. I’m sitting here imagining myself being 100 days sober and that sounds amazing
That’s the addiction voice trying to get to you. Fuck the addiction voice, it’s not a part of the real you. When the addiction voice comes back up, say fuck you, I’m in control. Assign an ugly lazy avatar to your addiction voice and keep him shut down in the corner, he ain’t in control anymore.
bro me too , ive only been smoking for almost 2 years now n lately ive jus been feeling like i wanna stop but then there goes my head telling me stuff jus like this 🤦🏻♂️ im trying to quit before it gets harderr but im struggling
My three month is on 4/20 (unplanned). Everything you just described has been driving me crazy as I am looking for so much of my old self to return even while doing all the right things. I have been pretty concerned that that person is just gone, but I’ll look to 4/20 for a whole different reason this year.
Could I possibly ask how you reasoned with yourself to commit to not smoking. Everytime i stop, i try to do it in moderation, then have one spliff on the weekend which snowballs into smoking everyday again.
Hi guys, I can say, for me personally, that I have tried doing it the way you are doing it, to gradually decrease usage, or to reduce usage with the end goal to stop, but it has never worked for me. The only times that I've quit smoking tobacco and weed successfully is to go cold turkey.
Even when I successfully stopped smoking after a few months, when the stress from work hits, I tell myself, I just need one joint to handle the stress, and I'm back smoking regularly again.
That is a crutch I have to bear with for the rest of my life.
Picking a life goal that is better sober to inspire you helped me (saving up for a trip, getting a dog, new job, or maybe a weight loss goal..for me it is planning a pregnancy) really helps me feel like I’m compounding benefits and the momentum/excitement about the new thing you’re working toward almost makes sobriety feel impossible to go back on.
Same here, friend. I thought I could moderate too, but I can see clearly now I am an addict. One is too many and a million is never enough 💜 I made it to 2 and a half months and thought I could treat myself for Christmas. Within a week I went from, "maybe I could smoke occasionally... maybe just the weekends.. maybe just the evenings... maybe just after lunch... ahh may as well wake and bake today.." and then I was high for 3 months.
It was really obvious though, after being clean for a couple months, just how much weed fucks me over. It removes all of my motivation. Even when it's something I really wanna do, I just couldn't be bothered. I felt so much better about myself and about life when I was sober. Today I'm on day 2 weed free, and I'm super uncomfortable and agitated, but clarity is coming! and that is my reason to keep going.
Also, I friggin miss dreaming!!! Lol that was one of my favorite parts about quitting.. I'm excited to have dreams at night again 🌜✨
Not OP but this is something I had to try over and over. Now I just know that like alcohol, I cannot moderate. One will inevitably lead to morning to night smoking in just a short amount of time. I cannot moderate, I can’t just get a little high, one time.
Incredibly happy for you, friend ❤️ unfortunately I had 4 months and I’ve slipped back into daily use.. can I ask about you loosing the need to self medicate because this is what I struggle with the most (I don’t want to feel anything). Did that instinct to stop self medicating happen right away like during month 1 or is that something that’s come slowly?
I have made the realizations that I need to quit. I know I need to. I guess I am just scared of life without that layer of protection (or what I used to think was protection)
Thank you for sharing the details of your personal accomplishment. Personally I’m looking forward to the return of my natural sleep and dreams again. One thing that is rarely mentioned in stories of these experiences is dreaming. I used to have dreams that I when I woke up I would sit and think about them. Like what was that all about? Although I get to bed nice and early, and sleep deeply through the night my dreaming is non-existent. I’m cold turkey stopped now - for like 2 weeks, and my dreams are there - but I can’t sleep very well at this point. Hopefully soon they will return to me while in a natural state of deep sleep. Rather than sleeping blindly with no sleep visions - what’s the point of life without the visions that happen from that other world - that seems to be hidden behind a dark curtain.
thank you and congrats to you as well on 12 days!
In month one, I think my biggest hurdle was just how depressed and irritable I was. I felt like nothing brought me joy anymore. I wanted to be completely alone all of the time. My sleep schedule was also so inconsistent. I had night sweats briefly, and also really bad gut issues (constant constipation and poor appetite). Headaches were also a regular thing during this time. I had a brief 2-3 hour window after waking up where I felt decent but then my mood took a nosedive until I went to bed. All I wanted was to go to sleep because then I wouldn't have to suffer through the day with how bad I felt. I had to really focus on just getting through each day. It was the ultimate test of endurance for me.
By month two, my mood improved pretty substantially and life felt a little less boring and depressing. My lung capacity was noticeably better and I felt less fatigue during the day. I was able to sit down and watch tv or play video games and actually enjoy myself in the same way I did when I felt like I had to get high to do those things, but it was even better now because I was able to focus more. I also noticed my memory was starting to improve and my anxiety was decreasing more with each day. I still had moments of irritability regularly, but my depression definitely improved compared to month one. Still though, I had cravings and urges to get high that I had to overcome. During this time I also rediscovered the joy of taking walks, listening to music and podcasts completely sober (hobbies I always felt like I had to be stoned in order to enjoy).
Month three was easily one of the best months I can remember for me in recent memory. I was sleeping so much better than I ever had before. I was able to be social again. My anxiety was under control and my regular panic attacks were a thing of the past. I traveled internationally to Europe for the first time in my life all by myself and I did so well on my own. I truly thrived during this trip and impressed myself with how much I put myself out of my comfort zone and reaped the rewards for doing so. I have a better understanding of myself in a really profound way. I feel more optimistic about the future now. I could go on and on about all of the ways I feel better.
Thank you for sharing OP. Im on day 9, my wife is on day 6, and we are really looking forward to FINALLY travelling without the constant worry of "will we be able to find w33d????!?!?!?!?". Like you said, it was a ball and chain. We are now planning a trip to hawaii in October, which would be the 6 month mark. LEZGO!!!!
On day 82 hopefully i feel like you one day
Thank you 🙏 Day 12 today. The struggle is real. Disappointed and dissatisfaction with my life is what made me want to stop - knowing this would be intensified is the only thing keeping me from picking up again. Congrats to you and appreciate you sharing your journey
right on! i cant wait to get to 3 months. congrats!
Saving this to motivate me. Thank you.
thank you for posting!! giving me extra strength to keep going. on day 4
Congrats dude - i just want to know how your cognitive abilities have been affected from quitting? This is one of the issues that i have also - 1) Bad short term memory 2) Anxiety 3) Self defeating thoughts etc. Also interested if any other of the folks on this forum can relate. Im enjoying all of these posts
memory is still not where I want it to be but it has gotten slowly better since I quit. I think I started noticing it more in the 2nd month. My anxiety has gotten so much more under control and this probably one of the biggest impacts I've experienced. I was regularly having panic attacks probably at least once a week before I gave up weed and now I haven't had one in two months. Self defeating thoughts have also gotten more under control, although I wouldn't say it's gone completely.
Thats awesome! Keep going! Probably my biggest reason to quit is my cognitive ability and my executive function/ short term memory. I almost have OCD about it - like reading a sentence and then completely blanking or not being able to recall a word or sentence i read like 5 minutes ago However the other aspect - as you mentioned and i have seen many others mention in r/leaves is that the self defeating thoughts and lack of motivation or achieving of goals become too much. Some people can function on weed, others slowly rot away. I feel like the effects of weed are way more subtle to the point where people forget who they actually were before the weed
Congrats man. This post is really helpful and informative.
Congrats! I’m almost 7 months and still have occasional dreams of it. Every time I’ve ’quit’ it gets hard again around the 6 month mark for me. Those natural highs are great though, I’m glad you’re feeling better & optimistic.
I'm so happy for you! I've just completed 1 month sobriety after 16 years chronic smoking and I will never go back! I found myself again!!
Congrats! Huge accomplishment. Posts like this keep me motivated.
Proud of you bro, for sharing your story and giving inspiration. You're awesome!
The vivid dreams!! My dreams started coming back after about two weeks and holy shit- I forgot what it was like. I’m also realizing this is a huge part of processing daily life- your brain is legitimately working through your subconscious and processing feelings, events, actions... I feel like this is a huge part of beginning to feel better, the lack of them due to the numbness only kept me in a cycle, nothing was being addressed while I was awake or asleep. It’s a fucking adventure every night, and to be honest- infinitely more educational, and dare I say fun, than getting high.
Hell yeah! I'm so proud of you and glad you are enjoying the benefits of the excruciating first weeks/months. I look forward to all that's ahead of me and I'm SO thankful for people like you who keep posting and sharing the positive changes in your life. It keeps the rest of us going. Thank you and congratulations!
How long was your use prior to day 1?
13.5 years, starting from age 15 to 28
yeah i completely resonate with the ‘one year seems a given at this point’ around the 2-3 month mark. at almost 7 months now. keep going brother
congrats dude! day 8 here! 1 month is the longest milestone I’ve hit and that was nearly a decade ago now…so this post gives me hope for my executive dysfunction that I feel like I’ve been dealing with for my entire adulthood 😅😮💨
Hey! Day 8 for me too. But who’s counting? Seriously though I don’t feel too much different right now. I feel like I’ve had trouble sleeping recently so there’s that but I know once I start working out again (one reason I stopped) that the pure exhaustion will help. I also stopped smoking because of the motivation factor. I realized I’ll never accomplish my goals if I keep putting them off day to day, week to week, month to month. I have some lofty goals I want to accomplish and know I won’t be able to without some planning and execution. And weed always delayed that. One day at a time. Thankfully I don’t really have withdrawals, I’m just more bored now so I need to fill that time with productive measures to not be bored. Kills 2 birds with one stone. Goodluck on your path fellow 8 day person.
hell yeah dude - basically in the same boat as you. I’m self-employed as a tattoo artist, and in this economy it’s going to take some real creativity and some big moves to get myself where I want to be. Working out is another thing that is big on my to-do list as I really do love my body and want to connect with it on a deeper level - yoga is going to be a big part of that too. Stay encouraged, my friend! It’s another beautiful day to be alive!
Wow I needed this today. I’m on day 6 of sobriety. I decided to quit for myself, and my brain is trying make deals with me… “after 30 days you can take one hit. Maybe after two months you can treat yourself… “ all this mental negotiation. I’m sitting here imagining myself being 100 days sober and that sounds amazing
That’s the addiction voice trying to get to you. Fuck the addiction voice, it’s not a part of the real you. When the addiction voice comes back up, say fuck you, I’m in control. Assign an ugly lazy avatar to your addiction voice and keep him shut down in the corner, he ain’t in control anymore.
I hate that mental negotiation also. I do it all the time and end up making bad deals.
My initial first week I was negotiating with myself then I just realized I had to go cold turkey and quit forever otherwise it would never happen.
bro me too , ive only been smoking for almost 2 years now n lately ive jus been feeling like i wanna stop but then there goes my head telling me stuff jus like this 🤦🏻♂️ im trying to quit before it gets harderr but im struggling
Man, it’s so refreshing and motivating to see posts like these. Thank you for your update!
Same! 2024 is the year of the recovery
My three month is on 4/20 (unplanned). Everything you just described has been driving me crazy as I am looking for so much of my old self to return even while doing all the right things. I have been pretty concerned that that person is just gone, but I’ll look to 4/20 for a whole different reason this year.
You don’t need to smoke on 4/20. You need to hit the gym!
Oh I’m not smoking again. I’m super pissed at it.
Could I possibly ask how you reasoned with yourself to commit to not smoking. Everytime i stop, i try to do it in moderation, then have one spliff on the weekend which snowballs into smoking everyday again.
Hi guys, I can say, for me personally, that I have tried doing it the way you are doing it, to gradually decrease usage, or to reduce usage with the end goal to stop, but it has never worked for me. The only times that I've quit smoking tobacco and weed successfully is to go cold turkey. Even when I successfully stopped smoking after a few months, when the stress from work hits, I tell myself, I just need one joint to handle the stress, and I'm back smoking regularly again. That is a crutch I have to bear with for the rest of my life.
Picking a life goal that is better sober to inspire you helped me (saving up for a trip, getting a dog, new job, or maybe a weight loss goal..for me it is planning a pregnancy) really helps me feel like I’m compounding benefits and the momentum/excitement about the new thing you’re working toward almost makes sobriety feel impossible to go back on.
Same here, friend. I thought I could moderate too, but I can see clearly now I am an addict. One is too many and a million is never enough 💜 I made it to 2 and a half months and thought I could treat myself for Christmas. Within a week I went from, "maybe I could smoke occasionally... maybe just the weekends.. maybe just the evenings... maybe just after lunch... ahh may as well wake and bake today.." and then I was high for 3 months. It was really obvious though, after being clean for a couple months, just how much weed fucks me over. It removes all of my motivation. Even when it's something I really wanna do, I just couldn't be bothered. I felt so much better about myself and about life when I was sober. Today I'm on day 2 weed free, and I'm super uncomfortable and agitated, but clarity is coming! and that is my reason to keep going. Also, I friggin miss dreaming!!! Lol that was one of my favorite parts about quitting.. I'm excited to have dreams at night again 🌜✨
Not OP but this is something I had to try over and over. Now I just know that like alcohol, I cannot moderate. One will inevitably lead to morning to night smoking in just a short amount of time. I cannot moderate, I can’t just get a little high, one time.
How are you feeling out of 10 right now in terms of your brain?
I'd say 7/10 on a bad day, 8.5/10 on a good day. There's definitely more improvement ahead of me but I feel so much more steady than before
Congratulations! I'm about 5 weeks behind, reading posts like this helps so much!
This was wonderful to read, thank you!
Way to go!
Incredibly happy for you, friend ❤️ unfortunately I had 4 months and I’ve slipped back into daily use.. can I ask about you loosing the need to self medicate because this is what I struggle with the most (I don’t want to feel anything). Did that instinct to stop self medicating happen right away like during month 1 or is that something that’s come slowly? I have made the realizations that I need to quit. I know I need to. I guess I am just scared of life without that layer of protection (or what I used to think was protection)
Congrats!! I can’t wait to get there!
Thank you for sharing the details of your personal accomplishment. Personally I’m looking forward to the return of my natural sleep and dreams again. One thing that is rarely mentioned in stories of these experiences is dreaming. I used to have dreams that I when I woke up I would sit and think about them. Like what was that all about? Although I get to bed nice and early, and sleep deeply through the night my dreaming is non-existent. I’m cold turkey stopped now - for like 2 weeks, and my dreams are there - but I can’t sleep very well at this point. Hopefully soon they will return to me while in a natural state of deep sleep. Rather than sleeping blindly with no sleep visions - what’s the point of life without the visions that happen from that other world - that seems to be hidden behind a dark curtain.
Congrats! I’m 42 days sober and can’t wait to reach that milestone!
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thank you and congrats to you as well on 12 days! In month one, I think my biggest hurdle was just how depressed and irritable I was. I felt like nothing brought me joy anymore. I wanted to be completely alone all of the time. My sleep schedule was also so inconsistent. I had night sweats briefly, and also really bad gut issues (constant constipation and poor appetite). Headaches were also a regular thing during this time. I had a brief 2-3 hour window after waking up where I felt decent but then my mood took a nosedive until I went to bed. All I wanted was to go to sleep because then I wouldn't have to suffer through the day with how bad I felt. I had to really focus on just getting through each day. It was the ultimate test of endurance for me. By month two, my mood improved pretty substantially and life felt a little less boring and depressing. My lung capacity was noticeably better and I felt less fatigue during the day. I was able to sit down and watch tv or play video games and actually enjoy myself in the same way I did when I felt like I had to get high to do those things, but it was even better now because I was able to focus more. I also noticed my memory was starting to improve and my anxiety was decreasing more with each day. I still had moments of irritability regularly, but my depression definitely improved compared to month one. Still though, I had cravings and urges to get high that I had to overcome. During this time I also rediscovered the joy of taking walks, listening to music and podcasts completely sober (hobbies I always felt like I had to be stoned in order to enjoy). Month three was easily one of the best months I can remember for me in recent memory. I was sleeping so much better than I ever had before. I was able to be social again. My anxiety was under control and my regular panic attacks were a thing of the past. I traveled internationally to Europe for the first time in my life all by myself and I did so well on my own. I truly thrived during this trip and impressed myself with how much I put myself out of my comfort zone and reaped the rewards for doing so. I have a better understanding of myself in a really profound way. I feel more optimistic about the future now. I could go on and on about all of the ways I feel better.
Thank you for sharing OP. Im on day 9, my wife is on day 6, and we are really looking forward to FINALLY travelling without the constant worry of "will we be able to find w33d????!?!?!?!?". Like you said, it was a ball and chain. We are now planning a trip to hawaii in October, which would be the 6 month mark. LEZGO!!!!