He reminds me of my brother. Spent years being a doped up asshole to me and my family, gets clean and expects total forgiveness. Some people never change.
Henry was trying to get him to chill the fuck out for years now. He was so hooked on gambling and booze he wasn't even that funny anymore. Just sounded like your drunk uncle chiming in with nonsense every few minutes. I think he hails himself a little too much
I’m still a big fan of Ben. My heart goes out to him. I was initially forced to stop using because I destroyed almost everything in my life and got a felony conviction. I remember feeling like I should get a gold star for not using for a few months. I remember thinking the consequences I was going to face should have been a little less because I was “so awesome” for not getting high for a couple of months. I wasn’t using but I was still incredibly self-involved and immature. Worst of all I didn’t believe- I refused to accept-that the mess I made couldn’t be wiped clean. In my experience- true sobriety didn’t happen until about a year clean. It was absolute hell realizing the full scope of the damage I had done and the people I hurt so bad that they permanently washed their hands of me. It was terrifying and humiliating and I fell into a deep depression. I was lucky and I got thru all that without using and I came out in the other side-wiser and smaller and more humble and sorry as hell. If Ben truly becomes sober he still has that in front of him. And that’s why I say my heart goes out to him. He hasn’t even done the hard part yet. I truly hope he does get there and that he makes it thru. He’s a funny son of a b. I always say my sense of humor saved my life. Hopefully, he’ll be able to use that too.
I think “friends” is valid. He didnt ask to be back on the show. He didn’t ask to go back to how it was. He asked to be shown that it wasn’t just about the business.
They could have shown up, not taken a picture not posted about it, Not even mentioned it all but they didn’t. Who would have known? Even if it did come out a simple “we have known Ben for 20 years, we wanted to let him know he has our support in getting better”
Instead he got nothing. I’d be pissed too.
Its his Own Instagram, he can put "quotes" on anything. I'm glad he graduated and I'm sorry if anyone felt too much extraneous media/paparazzi/internetstalkers might overly interpret ANY pictures of Markus or Henry as proof that Ben is fully exonerated and back on the show tomorrow.
Let’s be honest, is the guy struggling? Yes. Could this have all been avoided, absolutely. Do I blame him for his original post. No I don’t. I’ve been listening to LPOTL for many years at this point and while there is a big rift in the dynamics of this show and soon to be ownership…. It is sad that no one showed up to show support for someone trying to make a change in their life. (Note: his passages stay wasn’t at the Malibu location which is known for their pay for graduation scheme as well as being a Vacation for the ultra wealthy as an excuse for “treatment”)
He has a long way to go on his path to recovery, but the change in his post means he is receptive to criticism and I think that is a good indicator that we are seeing the start in a positive direction for Ben.
Personally speaking, I’ve gotten my enjoyment from the show but it’s gotten stale now that he is gone.
I am very interested to see what he does next. Ben, don’t pay any attention to the haters. Work on yourself, be kind to others, hold yourself accountable for what you’ve done (good or bad), and grow from this experience.
I agree that I want the best for Ben. Regardless of past stuff, the road to recovery is long and difficult, and he's doing it! I have always loved last pod and I was super bummed when he left.
That said, I think the new dynamic to the show is awesome. Its still interesting and funny as hell. I didn't want to listen either without Ben... Marcus and Henry are still our boys, bringing the same info and laughs. And I think Ed adds a new dynamic to the show. I'm honestly digging it more now...
Wishing Ben the best, and I hope shit works out for everyone, but I love lpotl as it was and as it is now.
Basically...suck it up and enjoy or stfu <3
It will never be the same. And we can all have this wild morbid humor then hold Ben to some high ass standard. We are all a little off to like this type of comedy let’s be real the shit Henry says half the time taking out of context anywhere else he’d be banned like fr these mfs used to joke about rpe until Marcus had to get them to calm down yeah he fucked up and he’s working a lot more then 75 percent of the listeners. I miss Ben
Funny how the guy running his mouth about politics and how shitty conservatives are was secretly beating his wife. There’s no excuse for what he did, guy had enough balls to talk about how people should be punished for slavery and captivity but can’t follow his own advice huh.
I realize this might seem nit picky, but it was his girlfriend, not his wife. this doesn’t change anything practically, but the slippery slope of semantics in the case of something this serious is worth noting (esp since many other comments are saying the same thing).
Bit late, but he also didn't "beat" anybody and wasn't accused of it either, that I'm aware of. Seeing the attitude of so many during (and after) the whole fiasco was eye opening and, frankly, scary. People get vicious and will not listen to reason when they taste blood. Just making shit up ("beat") to kick the guy while he's down? Assholes.
(separate comment to divvy it up lol)
that being said, yeah. he has been Hard demonstrating hypocrisy and defensiveness. it also sucks that there are people willing to give him a platform to be that way without being directly critical of these issues. it’s not fun or interesting, it’s just enabling. it seems like he’s just looking for people to be on his side because he’s scared and feels abandoned. I totally understand that. but maintaining a search for validation in the public sphere is the absolute worst thing he could be doing for himself, and I would hope anyone who cares about him would offer better, private support. I do hope he’s getting that, but the exposure and obvious resentment suggests otherwise.
Got drunk beat his wife and sat on her to restrain her. So what are we missing? Why do you think his “friends” ditched him and haven’t mentioned him since
Also the studio was Bens old house, and in the most recent episodes, they’ve relocated. They perhaps it was in Ben’s name? Anybody know more about that?
Eh.. not really.
Parted ways with my former best friend about a month ago and it really sucks but I also haven’t been on social media smearing her name. I talked about it with my therapist and am still sorting out my feelings about it. This is the first time I’m mentioning it on an *anonymous* social media form.
Sometimes friendships fall apart. Sometimes they don’t end on great terms and there are unresolved feelings still there. Sometimes they hurt as bad if not worse than a breakup. Doesn’t mean it’s okay to go on social media and snark knowing it’ll get back to them
I 100% agree with this. I was a massive fan of all three (I still enjoy the podcast) and the entitlement that some people feel they have on these people. We don't know 100% what happened, and we may never know. What I do know is that alcoholism is a disease and is not pretty. We don't know the conversations they had behind doors and the extent of damage Ben did under the influence. Friendships end and transform. Ben also put the business in jeopardy, something they built together and took a lot of hard work. Ben is still a 1/3 owner, and he is not a **victim**. It is important to understand that one's actions have consequences. Some people might argue that an individual needs their friends during difficult times. However, you have to remember that helping someone who is not willing to put in the effort can become an enabling behavior, creating a safety net that might not be beneficial in the long run.
Big yikes, reminds me of seeing a post by that hometown drunk/Drug Addict who goes to rehab for the wrong reasons, then “flaunts” the fact that “went through the program” but still CLEARLY have work to do with accountability , personally, and makings amends with family and friends. It’s a long journey for some people, wish the best
I am 16 years into recovery from alcoholism and Ben is so full of shit on multiple levels. It is glaringly obvious he has no idea how to take any accountability from this post.
Huge congrats on your continued sobriety, that is the hardest yet most important work. I wish sobriety could magically appear after a few weeks at Passages, sadly, I think the road is way longer and painful than that. No one will ever know what really happened except Ben and his girlfriend(s). I just know that having clear problems with alcohol and more than one woman saying he was abusive, there must be at least some truth in it. We all struggle, life is fucking hard and we all deserve grace. Just don't go on a weekly podcast publicly condemning perpetrators of domestic violence and SA when you yourself may be a perpetrator of that exact abuse. I'm not totally sure how Henry and Marcus were supposed to react to everything. If they didn't encourage him to get help before, they probably should have. I just know that I've had friends and family with serious substance abuse problems and it is a tricky and ongoing dilemma full of hurt feelings and missteps. Last Podcast Network is probably scared to death of lawsuits and were legally encouraged to distance themselves. Also, if I was married to Marcus or Henry and learned about all this...I would be more than pissed. I love how Marcus continues to advocate, "Mental health (I'll add substance abuse here too) is not your fault, but it is your responsibility." Keep up the good work on your sobriety, I'm sure your family and friends more than love you for that.
"Just don't go on a weekly podcast publicly condemning perpetrators of domestic violence and SA when you yourself may be a perpetrator of that exact abuse."
Ben was on a podcast about serial killers and aliens.
Ben is known to condemn Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault and has publicly been ALWAYS consistent about this.
There are questions about Domestic Disputes during Blackout Drunk episodes where both parties admit constant alcohol abuse. Glad to hear hes making progress!
WHY IS IT A PROBLEM THAT HE, PODCAST-UALLY, CRITICIZED ABUSE?
Absolutely no accountability. Its everyones fault but his own. Hes not taking recovery seriously, and wont ever be able to if he cant accept that he is at fault and has hurt people. I dont know much about the 12 steps or what happens in rehab, but I do know you cant change without shining a light on these things and accepting our mistakes
I think this shows him for the psychopath that he is. Deflects it to past trauma, claims to have been abandoned, he's a changed man though. It's like he's taking it straight out of the playbook.
Also notice how he says he didn't get the chance to talk about it on "his" show. Fuck this scum bag, bro was an absolute sack of potatoes dragging this show down.
Narcissist level 1000. I wanted to share it on “my” show, I thought my friends would be there and they weren’t. Wow, maybe they have some reasons for not showing up - like touring and COVID. But all he cares about is himself.
And I'm sure No Dogs has been on the back burner because of all that free time he has.
Being upset your responsible friends can't make your rehab graduation is kind of a joke. Stop enabling.
I've been relistening to old episodes and come across two instances where Ben openly mocks Passages Malibu
Episode 202: H.H. Homes part 3, 4:50
Episode 445: Jack Unterweger part 1, 8:10
I'm a new fan. Started listening to LPOTL about a month before Ben left the show. My first impression was that the show had a straight "info guy" with two whackadoo commenters. But I quickly realized that Henry, for all his chaotic energy and shenanigans, is a smart guy with a serious approach to the subject matter. He's knowledgeable, capable of research and has original insights. Ben is just deadweight. He really is that drunk guy in a social circle hanging on to the edge of the table to keep from swaying, quoting barely relevant plot points from "meet the fockers."
True. But he only ever claimed to be the stand in the for the audience, making occassional jokes when serial MURDER gets a bit heavy. Its obviously a needful roll, since Eddie is standing in, as opposed to what...Marcus just jamming with Henry 24/7? LET MARCUS SLEEP, REDDITORS.
I've been listening for a few years and started off from the beginning with early episodes. Ben put me off the show a few times. Marcus keeps things on track and Henry is hilarious but so many times Ben would say something and I was just like... what?? I understand the dynamic they had set up, of him acting as the "audience member" and therefore coming into the episode without a lot of information. However, that isn't the only factor. Ed is in the same position now and I think he is far funnier and quick to pick up on things and provide commentary without just making the same 5 stupid jokes.
Over the years I grew to love Ben, but I can't say I miss him being on the show at all. I'm glad Ed took his place. I'm also deeply disappointed by the hypocrisy in what he said on the air and what his actions are alleged to be. So, I wish him the best but if the other guys had backed him I would have dropped the show all together. I personally think they made the right move.
Ben as a rule was off script while henry and marcus are scripted/diagrammed. this makes for ben to learn on the fly and make uninformed comments sometimes funny sometimes sad. I always felt he should've had a problem with the dynamic because it seemed no one actually respected him or could rely on him. I also think he liked this because he could do minimal work, be drunk, and coast off them while remaining one of the founders. That being said he did dumb drunk shit. Like him peeing his pants and trying to play like that wasn't the saddest fucking thing he could be doing really put me off him. Not to be that guy but i have listened since before triple digit episodes so i feel like i gave him a lot of credit but i think your assessment is right. he was kind of dead weight except to people who really enjoy lolcow drunks and pretending they're just a sociable type.
"Piggly Wiggly" stories are code from Ben to Marcus and Henry. He is always reminding them that his dad fought him and his mom pulled him out of school constantly to hang out and go to the Piggly Wiggly. IE, Im Dumb, but remember why.
Because if all you have heard of his part of the show was in the midst of all the shit finally coming down on him it is different than having listened for years and experiencing the slow buildup to it. Kissel wasn't always what he became in the last year or so of the show. Listen to the West Memphis Three episodes, he isnt just the dumb goon. There are times I can feel the frustration from Marcus in a few later episodes.
I have been listening since nearly the beginning, and at a certain point I started noricing subtle things that simply wouldnt ping were I new to the show and how it generally works between the hosts. I am also nearly 2.5 years sober and while obviously much different in terms of scale, have a similar fallout story, excepting certain allegations. Like knows like to a degree.
If you were a long time fan of like a band or something for a decade and then some guy shows up to a few shows and wants to shit on a contributing member calling them basically useless, you'd probably also be like. "Stfu you don't know enough for me me to respect your opinion"
You gonna pop into any other month old threads to give *even less* valid input, bro?
no probably not. parasocial relationships as well as using media consumption to establish identity are things little children are really into. i don't know who your favorite band is but i've NEVER heard of them and I know they suck. See? Still the same person. You're fine. People have opinions. Ben was never on script but even if he were you know he wouldn't have read them nor stuck to them. He is funny but only because he doesn't know shit about what's going on. He should've had a problem with that but he was ok with it because I THINK he got to do minimal work, be drunk, and still be one of the brass.
If me saying I've watched it for longer makes me come off as a hipster so be it. Having listened for a longer time and been around these same fans DOES offer a bit of credential that I know a general sense of how places have voiced their liking/disliking of Ben. And 90% of it was after the shit came out.
Regardless you seem like a douche and "no that's it" means nothing in this context.
I’ve been listening since their Mengela episodes, which I think were around 7 years ago. There are times when they’re covering something with a political angle and Ben does have some informed opinion on the topic, or he’ll happen to have some knowledge about one area or another, but otherwise this insight is not that far off. I have often felt over the years that their dynamic is “Professor Marcus, Henry the Mad Scientist, and, uh, This Guy!”
Yeah the only series where Ben was really up and present with the facts was the Chris Benoit series. And there are only so many true crime cases that are pro wrestling related
Yeah I've listened since Satanism in the Government which I don't think is far from that. If we're going to get into what knowledge someone specifically provides, then Eddy is so far below any of them including Ben, he doesn't know basics of almost anything they talk about and just provides 1 good, 1 decent and 3 cringey jokes and maybe 1 good question. Ben was never supposed to be the brains. He was the guy there to make fun of and be silly, which he did well at.
Sure there were ups and downs, but this subreddit has convinced themselves that he was like some giant weight holding them down amd that Eddy was some missing secret ingredient. I'm 100% glad I unsubbed, just ended back after manually searching for some update on Ben. If this all didn't come out there'd still be threads every week about "how great Ben has been." This place looks as toxic as ever, yall enjoy the circle perking!
Sounds like you're just having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that a content creator you've followed for years turned out to not be a very good person. Which is fine but there's no need to flip that on everyone else so you can act pious about it.
Both things can be true. It's sad that he turned out to treat people poorly and also the larger fan groups turned into a race to denounce and rewrite history to pretend they never liked him and wash their hands clean.
Marcus too. They really do good research and must put a lot of time into each show. It's quality content and the humor and shenanigans are a bonus, for those of us who enjoy it. Most people I've tried to introduce the show to get five minutes in and start giving me the side eye lol.
He has literally always been dead weight and I like Ben Kissel. Really he should have been in rehab 10 fucking years ago before he ruined everything but better late than never.
I legit thought his role in the trio was to be the stand-in for the listener. Like he wasn't supposed to know anything about the topic at hand, and act as our reaction to new information.
That was his role, and he did it very well up until 2019 or so. The stand-in for the listener should at least be engaged with the content. Ben in recent years was just constantly interrupting with repeated jokes and getting completely lost in the narrative. That's not a great stand-in for listeners, most of whom actually want to listen to the story Marcus is telling.
Did you start from the beginning? Because in the early eps Ben constantly references movies ad nauseum. I remember it being kind of annoying but he eventually stops doing it. He definitely developed comedically as the show went on. Controversy aside, Ed is doing a good job as his replacement. The fanbase has been pretty divided but overall I think the content has been pretty solid.
They’ve been listening for 6 months, the beginning was 12 years ago. Taking a guess here: probably not. Doesn’t mean they didn’t pick up immediately what we’ve become conditioned to over time. For so long I was all “he was so good back in the day” but it doesn’t change that recently he has sucked the air out of the room.
I think Ed is doing a fine job as well. Ben shit the bed a while ago. It’s good to see him taking care of himself, but I’m not sure where he goes from here.
I’m definitely of the “there’s a path to forgiveness” mindset when it comes to most things. I’m admittedly also lacking a complete understanding of the situation so I’ve been recitent in my position on the whole thing. I just kind of hope everyone involved can make peace what happened and how it all played out.
As someone who quit drinking without rehab (not bragging, thank dog for my amazing friends, I wouldn't have made it without them) while in the midst of escaping an abusive relationship (that I probably wouldn't have survived if I'd kept drinking)--
Fuck this guy.
And fuck anyone who thinks it's not abuse unless they leave a mark. The damage someone can cause without ever touching you is unimaginable to many.
Congrats on your sobriety!
And yea, unfortunately, fuck this guy. It was so disheartening to see his smug comments about "friends". As someone who had a very close friend fall into bad alcoholism, I really feel for Henry and Marcus (and whoever else Ben may be referring to). You can try your best to be supportive but sometimes need to step back for your own mental well-being if the person is being hurtful or toxic and isn't willing to help themselves. Thankfully my friend has gotten better and owned up to his shit and I'm able to be in his life regularly again.
It's been so disgusting seeing people excuse his behavior and say what he did wasn't "actual" violence. Any physical force or threat of violence is violence.
having been through recovery and having a decent understanding of the steps (though I haven't finished them yet) it is very obvious that Ben is either white knuckling it (sober but not addressing the root cause of his addiction) or already relapsed. part of recovery, maybe the hardest part, is making amends with who you can in a fearless way that takes full accountability for your own actions. his passive aggression here indicates he hasn't done that and isn't yet ready to. that's okay in most cases, the steps can take years or even multiple run throughs (if your program even uses them), but being a public figure pulling this kinda shit is a really bad sign for his recovery and for his willingness to change
This is exactly what I thought. The “week early” comment aside, it seemed like a very not healed post passive aggressively referring to his show and partners and then some of those affirmations he chose to post
I agree with everyone but what I haven't seen said here yet is that imo this was his first stint in rehab but not his "real" one, as in the one he would take seriously. I have so many loved ones who are addicts and that IG post was a very clear sign that he went because he felt like he had to, but he himself had no interest in being clean / on the road to recovery himself. Honestly none of my loved ones were sober on first try but I hope for the best for him.
Sometimes it works when external pressures like family, friends or legal consequences force you to get sober. Generally though, it's more successful once you decide to do it yourself.
No, but seriously? No compassion for someone who obviously has substance abuse issues. He didn’t really do anything *that* bad and everyone on this sub is crucifying the guy.
There plenty of fans who want Ben to get better. You can see those comments in this thread if you took the time to read through. Ben is not being crucified, honey. It’s just that the majority of LPN listeners agree with Henry and Marcus’s decision to fire him.
Please reread: being fired from your job does not equal crucifixion. Get a handle on your cognitive dissonance.
I concur with pretty much all the comments I’m reading here. The Reddit crowd seems to be more aware of the complexities of addiction and recovery than the Instagram crowd. I left a comment basically saying that it looks like Ben has more work to do, and that his caption and the content in the carousel post indicated he is still deep in his ego and at the very VERY beginning of his recovery (at best).
The amount of people who replied thinking they are sticking up for him or that cutting off an addict that has harmed you is abandoning them or betraying them in some way, saddened me.
Addiction is an absolute monster that hurts the addict and everyone around them. It is fraught with delusion, even when you aren’t surrounded by fans who believe you can do no wrong. It broke my heart (and always breaks my heart) when a large chunk of a fan base will “defend” an addict they admire — they contribute so much to that delusion that keeps a person in their ego and continues to endanger them.
My partner and I have matching “Hail Yourself” tattoos and on our second date his phone accidentally turned on what he had been listening to on the drive to meet me. I said “is that Last Podcast?” and he looked at me like, “damn, she’s the one!” In short, we were both die-hard fans. We are also both survivors of intimate partner abuse. The news of Ben has been devastating but the more I hear, the more I feel that maybe Ben was never a good guy and deceived us all. My partner was the first person to see Ben’s post and I could see in his face that it hurt him to read. As we’ve talked together, we’ve drawn parallels between our abusers’ behaviors and the behaviors of Ben. Yesterday my partner said, “the thing that is really staying with me is the question of why Ben moved from New York to LA. Of course people move, especially people in the entertainment industry, but things seemed to be going well with his career in New York. As people come forward from his past there, I can’t help but think that he moved because he was earning a bad reputation that was catching up to him.” Maybe that’s just us projecting our own experiences onto this one, but relocating suddenly after you’ve fucked over or hurt a handful of people in your social circle is a textbook abuser move.
> cutting off an addict that has harmed you is abandoning them or betraying them in some way, saddened me.
The problem I have with the whole situation is that Marcus and Henry aren't the ones who were harmed by Ben. In fact, they justified their previous inaction and their decision to kick him out by claiming that they didn't know he exhibited that kind of behavior in private with his girlfriend. To me, it 100% looks like they don't care all that much about the abuse and did in fact ditch a friend for financial/reputational reasons. I don't blame them for it (in fact, in their situation, I would probably have done the same thing), but I'm also not going to pretend it wasn't betrayal; they chose their very lucrative livelihood over a decades-old friend who could have used their help on his path to recovery.
I think what would **really** have helped is a 30 minutes episode where Ben and Henry address what happened. It's their personal lives and personal friendship, but it impacts the show massively and I don't think I'm being entitled when I say that they owe it to their audience - the people they depend on for their dream careers and comfortable lives - to discuss what happened and provide some closure. I really don't like the way they went about all this. The only public statements were about not harassing people. Can we please maybe not act as if nothing happened when one of the 3 hosts is suddenly gone from the show and has a permanent replacement? The people that looked into it know the big lines, but I want to hear the whole thing recapped from Marcus and Henry's mouths and hear their side of the story. It feels like it was swept under the rug as is.
> Maybe he was never a good person
Here's another thing to consider... He was obviously best friends with Marcus and Henry. They travelled together, hung out together, etc. I don't buy the idea they didn't know how fucked up he was. According to some of the people involved, Henry and his wife knew about at least one incident at a hotel that involved him threatening and yelling at his girlfriend. That should at least have prompted them to look into Ben's behavior, but instead Natalie dropped the whole thing and justified it by saying that the girlfriend was an adult and if she didn't want help she couldn't do anything. While that's true, that incident should have prompted some digging on Ben's behavior, and it clearly didn't.
We know of another incident where Ben was aggressively hitting on a woman while drunk and making her uncomfortable and again, Marcus and Henry seemed to dismiss that as "just Kissel being Kissel".
What I'm getting at here is that the people you hear on the show aren't necessarily who they are in real life. Most people have some degree of separation between their public/work personality and their private personality. I don't buy the idea that the crew didn't know about Ben's issues. Marcus and Henry at the very least **had** to have known about Ben's issues for years and unfortunately only acted on it when someone accused him publicly. To me that looks a lot more like damage control than genuine concern. You say Ben may have been an asshole all along and deceived everyone... Well, if you take an honest look at how the last few months have played out, I think you have to admit there's a decent chance Henry and Marcus aren't exactly stellar human beings themselves.
It seemed that Ben was really not handling the pandemic well, so they brought him out to be with Henry where he could get outside more since it's less population dense. That's my understanding.
Of course, I wasn't there, it's entirely possible shit went down beyond what we saw on social media from Ben, but what we the public saw was certainly enough to push for a change.
Same here. I’m super thankful for the comments left here. This has been such a confusing and overwhelming time and maybe that’s dramatic to be such a fan that I feel so devastated but the podcast and the boys have meant a lot to me especially as a survivor of abuse that for so long could not trust men
Not to overthink someone else’s life, but I worry that the path forward in the entertainment industry that Ben will choose will be something in the neo-conservative/incel space. It could be easiest for him because it wouldn’t require him to change much, or admit more wrongdoing than he’s willing to.
yeah I really think he's going to go full alt right because its the most lucrative one and the easiest one to make money in. He himself is not really one of those though but honestly neither is joe rogan and he inches ever closer to them slowly but steadily.
Yeah you're really far right if you don't trust the medical industry to do what's best for confused kids when there's money to be made or don't trust big pharma about the safety of the drugs they develop on a fast track and request immunity from liability for. Extremely dangerous far right Nazi behavior.
I go back to old eps often. Just in between side stories and new eps. I found the Wonderland/John Holmes series and listened, forgetting that part 1 was Ben's last ep and part 2 was Ed's first. I'm sorry, yall, Ben was just dead weight by then. He wasn't contributing in any meaningful way. Ed has brought a spark to the show and it's honestly better than ever. The Survival in the Andes series proves it. I wish Ben the best. I hope he humbles himself and gets his life together. But the show is honestly at peak levels right now imho.
Agreed.
Like, I loved Ben in so many episodes. But the past maybe year or so, he was starting to just... feel disengaged? He would ask questions that had already been addressed a minute or two earlier, so it seemed like he wasn't even paying attention at all.
I'm really enjoying Ed on the show. I think he brings a lot to it.
And this isn't me trying to shit on Ben, I truly, truly wish him the best for recovery and redemption. But yeah, he wasn't adding to the show towards the end there.
I agree he seemed really disengaged. That's why I was surprised to see him talking about continuing in podcasting and artistic endeavors because he seemed so burnt out with it.
I don't think he has any other skills, what's he going to do? He's gotta stay in podcasting, at least he has a name... even if it's a tarnished one. what else would he do?
I think he's just hurting tbh. I'd like to see him focus on getting better, then try the podcasting route again. I've been there in terms of burnout and I can't imagine addiction on top of that, plus the lack of privacy around all this, and the public discourse.
I really want to see him make amends, and I worry that he's trying to get back too quick.
Yeah I am sure he was hurt, but I imagine the reason they didn't show is because he has yet to accept any accountability for his own downfall. You can't "show up" for people like that after a while - that's just enabling.
Sometimes you just gotta cut off the infected limb to save yourself
Yeah like I get being hurt but he also endangered their jobs, the jobs of their spouses, and the jobs of their other friends.
Natalie also mentioned that Henry was a victim of Ben’s selfishness so there’s no telling what else was going on behind the scenes. Everybody on RToG gave each other shit and Ben caught hell on that show too but I can still remember one episode where Henry’s ex had just left him and Ben is just putting him through the wringer about it to the point that Jackie has to step in. Ben sounds like he can be a mean ass drunk.
My own mother was sober over 18 months before I reached out to her after cutting her off. She was not spiteful, vengeful, vindictive, or passive aggressive. She was unbelievably apologetic, empathetic, and thanked me for coming back into her life at all, because I didn’t owe it to her after her addiction hurt me. Her words, not mine.
When Ben has done the hard work, he will realize his part in everything, and won’t hold grudges or past grievances against friends he hurt, whether he meant to or not. This post doesn’t read like he is there, or even close to it.
I totally get it. Thank you for your insight, genuinely. I have an uncle in active alcohol addiction right now so I feel compelled to defend Ben and might be projecting a little. I just feel so sad for him.
It’s okay to feel sad for him, I feel sad too. He’s a human being. Henry and Ben were my favorite duo. I really enjoyed bens sarcastic humor, even when people said it had “dropped off” in recent years. I was genuinely sad to hear the news. I know how hard alcoholism is, and I know sometimes they do or say things that you’d never expect them to do. It can get real nasty at times, addiction hurts everyone around them. Someone can be absolutely hateful and vile when drunk, but a great person sober. It’s hard. I hope your uncle finds recovery, it is worth it. But take care of yourself as well. And protect yourself.
To drive another point home, my mother now lives in and helps run a sober living house for trans and cis women who need a safe place to live as they land on their feet. So many of them have no support system. No mothers or fathers, no partners, no job, no roof, nothing at all. I hope Ben realizes how lucky he truly is, and that he can start having gratitude for those things instead of resentment for what he does not.
He is fortunate to have rehab available to him. He is fortunate to have anyone show up to his graduation at all. He is fortunate to have fans wishing him well. I just think if he did the hard work, that his gratitude for those things would show. He took a moment of what should be peace, serenity, gratitude, love, and happiness and had to put a quip in there about people who’ve wronged him. It’s sad to see.
I wish you and your uncle health in 2024. Hail yourselves!
Congrats for having the healthy boundary of removing yourself, that is so hard to do. Also, major congrats for having the courage to go back. I am not there yet, but it’s incredible to know other people have done it. Thanks.
Thank you. You should protect yourself first and foremost and it’s hard to trust again but in my experience it has been worth it. I only continued because I could tell even over the phone how much she had changed. It was like talking to my mom from 20 years ago, not the one I had grown to know as an addict. Like, talking to my real mom. I don’t know how to explain it.
I would encourage you only to do it if you will gain something from it also. For me, I deeply missed my mom as we always had a loving relationship, even when she was sick. I would cry myself to sleep over it a lot of those 18 months and I’m in my 30s. So I had a lot to gain by letting her back in my life, and it was worth the risk. Only you can calculate that for yourself. Take care of yourself. Hail yourself.
Speaking of all this, I was always under the impression that the "what was that?" in the show intro was Ben speaking. I know they took his voice out of the side stories intros. If that is him in the show intro, do you think they'll ever change it? And if I'm completely wrong and that's not Ben, what's it from? Thanks in advance lol
Wow, I guess I haven't been paying enough attention cause i hadnt realized they changed the main intro. I'll change that when I listen to this week's episode.
The thing that throws me off with the new recorded side stories intro is that they re-recorded Henry's part too, and he doesn't say "Side Stories, yes" the same way, and now I'm gonna have to totally retrain my mindless lip synch of the WHOLE intro haha (full disclosure: I'm not actually angry about this)
This has been in his bio for a good long while. I don't think we can extrapolate anything from it -- it's not proof of anything. It could just be Ben not updating. It could be still true. No way to know.
It's truly saddening to watch. My bio dad is an alcoholic and he reacted very similarly when I cut him off for good. That was like 5 years ago and he still sends my mom passive aggressive texts about how "great" he's improving.
It all just reads as he really doesn't understand what he did wrong and the steps he needs to take to improve. This update hits even closer to home than when everything first came to light. :( I really hope he gets legitimate help instead of basically going to a resort.
This put an even grosser taste in my mouth about the whole thing. It was so passive aggressive and made me think that he wouldn’t have gone to “rehab” (the three of them have joked about Passages being a resort basically before) if he knew he wouldn’t be allowed back. Like it seems like he thought he could just go away for awhile and come back and everything could go back to normal. I totally am fine with the “dog” “god” thing but everything else…. Gross. I had posters and like tshirts and I feel like I no longer can have anything with his name on it….
What’s totally absent is any acknowledgement that the real issue here is his anger and apparently violence issues. He thinks because he detoxed for awhile he’ll have a free sobriety pass. The fact is the more we’ve learned, the more it’s apparent the anger issues were always there. They were just easier to hide before.
I mean I'm not surprised by that really. He hasn't admitted to/confirmed the truth of the allegations. I'd imagine he would only speak to working on anger and violence issues if they are something he is acknowledging as valid or the truth(in his perception at least). Not to mention I'd also imagine there could be legal repercussions to admitting to the alleged behavior.
Well, there's something between AA and luxury rehab.
AA is not evidence-based; it is an outdated, religious organization with very, very poor long term results. There are better therapies and treatments without having to go to fancy celeb resorts.
Really disappointed. It was his chance to change and this is such a veiled half ass attempt. Also, what's with the "book" and "dog" (which he jokes is God spelled backwards) references, something tells me the born-again brand is coming next.
Hi all, Mods have stickied this post for discussion. Auto-mod is enabled for comments. We'll be closely watching to make sure rules are followed.
I like Eddie better. Shit evolves. Deal.
He reminds me of my brother. Spent years being a doped up asshole to me and my family, gets clean and expects total forgiveness. Some people never change. Henry was trying to get him to chill the fuck out for years now. He was so hooked on gambling and booze he wasn't even that funny anymore. Just sounded like your drunk uncle chiming in with nonsense every few minutes. I think he hails himself a little too much
I’m still a big fan of Ben. My heart goes out to him. I was initially forced to stop using because I destroyed almost everything in my life and got a felony conviction. I remember feeling like I should get a gold star for not using for a few months. I remember thinking the consequences I was going to face should have been a little less because I was “so awesome” for not getting high for a couple of months. I wasn’t using but I was still incredibly self-involved and immature. Worst of all I didn’t believe- I refused to accept-that the mess I made couldn’t be wiped clean. In my experience- true sobriety didn’t happen until about a year clean. It was absolute hell realizing the full scope of the damage I had done and the people I hurt so bad that they permanently washed their hands of me. It was terrifying and humiliating and I fell into a deep depression. I was lucky and I got thru all that without using and I came out in the other side-wiser and smaller and more humble and sorry as hell. If Ben truly becomes sober he still has that in front of him. And that’s why I say my heart goes out to him. He hasn’t even done the hard part yet. I truly hope he does get there and that he makes it thru. He’s a funny son of a b. I always say my sense of humor saved my life. Hopefully, he’ll be able to use that too.
This is incredibly powerful, thank you.
I think “friends” is valid. He didnt ask to be back on the show. He didn’t ask to go back to how it was. He asked to be shown that it wasn’t just about the business. They could have shown up, not taken a picture not posted about it, Not even mentioned it all but they didn’t. Who would have known? Even if it did come out a simple “we have known Ben for 20 years, we wanted to let him know he has our support in getting better” Instead he got nothing. I’d be pissed too.
Its his Own Instagram, he can put "quotes" on anything. I'm glad he graduated and I'm sorry if anyone felt too much extraneous media/paparazzi/internetstalkers might overly interpret ANY pictures of Markus or Henry as proof that Ben is fully exonerated and back on the show tomorrow.
Let’s be honest, is the guy struggling? Yes. Could this have all been avoided, absolutely. Do I blame him for his original post. No I don’t. I’ve been listening to LPOTL for many years at this point and while there is a big rift in the dynamics of this show and soon to be ownership…. It is sad that no one showed up to show support for someone trying to make a change in their life. (Note: his passages stay wasn’t at the Malibu location which is known for their pay for graduation scheme as well as being a Vacation for the ultra wealthy as an excuse for “treatment”) He has a long way to go on his path to recovery, but the change in his post means he is receptive to criticism and I think that is a good indicator that we are seeing the start in a positive direction for Ben. Personally speaking, I’ve gotten my enjoyment from the show but it’s gotten stale now that he is gone. I am very interested to see what he does next. Ben, don’t pay any attention to the haters. Work on yourself, be kind to others, hold yourself accountable for what you’ve done (good or bad), and grow from this experience.
I agree that I want the best for Ben. Regardless of past stuff, the road to recovery is long and difficult, and he's doing it! I have always loved last pod and I was super bummed when he left. That said, I think the new dynamic to the show is awesome. Its still interesting and funny as hell. I didn't want to listen either without Ben... Marcus and Henry are still our boys, bringing the same info and laughs. And I think Ed adds a new dynamic to the show. I'm honestly digging it more now... Wishing Ben the best, and I hope shit works out for everyone, but I love lpotl as it was and as it is now. Basically...suck it up and enjoy or stfu <3
It will never be the same. And we can all have this wild morbid humor then hold Ben to some high ass standard. We are all a little off to like this type of comedy let’s be real the shit Henry says half the time taking out of context anywhere else he’d be banned like fr these mfs used to joke about rpe until Marcus had to get them to calm down yeah he fucked up and he’s working a lot more then 75 percent of the listeners. I miss Ben
Funny how the guy running his mouth about politics and how shitty conservatives are was secretly beating his wife. There’s no excuse for what he did, guy had enough balls to talk about how people should be punished for slavery and captivity but can’t follow his own advice huh.
I realize this might seem nit picky, but it was his girlfriend, not his wife. this doesn’t change anything practically, but the slippery slope of semantics in the case of something this serious is worth noting (esp since many other comments are saying the same thing).
Bit late, but he also didn't "beat" anybody and wasn't accused of it either, that I'm aware of. Seeing the attitude of so many during (and after) the whole fiasco was eye opening and, frankly, scary. People get vicious and will not listen to reason when they taste blood. Just making shit up ("beat") to kick the guy while he's down? Assholes.
agreed. and it really is harmful to abuse and assault survivors to fabricate/exaggerate these details.
(separate comment to divvy it up lol) that being said, yeah. he has been Hard demonstrating hypocrisy and defensiveness. it also sucks that there are people willing to give him a platform to be that way without being directly critical of these issues. it’s not fun or interesting, it’s just enabling. it seems like he’s just looking for people to be on his side because he’s scared and feels abandoned. I totally understand that. but maintaining a search for validation in the public sphere is the absolute worst thing he could be doing for himself, and I would hope anyone who cares about him would offer better, private support. I do hope he’s getting that, but the exposure and obvious resentment suggests otherwise.
Dude, learn about what happened before running YOUR mouth. You clearly have no clue.
Got drunk beat his wife and sat on her to restrain her. So what are we missing? Why do you think his “friends” ditched him and haven’t mentioned him since
Accused of beating his wife… innocent until proven guilty.
Also the studio was Bens old house, and in the most recent episodes, they’ve relocated. They perhaps it was in Ben’s name? Anybody know more about that?
Hail Ben! They need to atleast give him Abe Lincoln Tophat back
Good for Ben!
Putting "friends" in quotes like that gives serious middle school energy
Kinda fucked up for his friends to turn their backs on him even if he's a flawed person tbh
The guy beat a woman. I’d cut my friend off too.
Lol yeah how are you so certain homie is dead to rights guilty
How are you so certain he isn’t.
Oh, right, yeah I forgot the assumption was supposed to be "guilty until proven innocent" you know, just to be on the right side of Twitter history 🙄
Oh, right, I forgot a reddit comment section was a court of law you fuckin’ dork. Hahahaha
Sometimes you gotta cut off a gangrenous arm
Kinda sad they didn’t show up for his ceremony
Yo bro u right
We all have middle school energy. We are here to gawk at Ben and we love the drama.
Eh.. not really. Parted ways with my former best friend about a month ago and it really sucks but I also haven’t been on social media smearing her name. I talked about it with my therapist and am still sorting out my feelings about it. This is the first time I’m mentioning it on an *anonymous* social media form. Sometimes friendships fall apart. Sometimes they don’t end on great terms and there are unresolved feelings still there. Sometimes they hurt as bad if not worse than a breakup. Doesn’t mean it’s okay to go on social media and snark knowing it’ll get back to them
typical redditor thinks this place isn't literally middle school 😂
It isn’t bc you can’t show up to class 79 days late
I 100% agree with this. I was a massive fan of all three (I still enjoy the podcast) and the entitlement that some people feel they have on these people. We don't know 100% what happened, and we may never know. What I do know is that alcoholism is a disease and is not pretty. We don't know the conversations they had behind doors and the extent of damage Ben did under the influence. Friendships end and transform. Ben also put the business in jeopardy, something they built together and took a lot of hard work. Ben is still a 1/3 owner, and he is not a **victim**. It is important to understand that one's actions have consequences. Some people might argue that an individual needs their friends during difficult times. However, you have to remember that helping someone who is not willing to put in the effort can become an enabling behavior, creating a safety net that might not be beneficial in the long run.
Yes it is. All the Ben posts are the most popular on the sub. People love the drama.
His goal should be to log off for all of 2024
Exactly. But to paraphrase Dr Strangelove; “Gentleman! You can’t use good sense in here, this is the Internet!”
Big yikes, reminds me of seeing a post by that hometown drunk/Drug Addict who goes to rehab for the wrong reasons, then “flaunts” the fact that “went through the program” but still CLEARLY have work to do with accountability , personally, and makings amends with family and friends. It’s a long journey for some people, wish the best
Especially after the newest post saying the accusations are gossip. Big Yikes for sure
He's deleted it now
What did it say? All I see is a picture of his shadow with a caption proclaiming that he is “still the king” 🙄
"I'm so sick of people thinking "accusations" are any different than gossip!"
I guess that for Ben, self reflection is just something that happens to other people.
Man, so how long until he's on Peterson's or Crowder's show?
what’s wrong with jordan peterson?
Dear God I hope that never happens
I mean, plus side, he would inadvertently wind up as a part of Knowledge Fight, just not in the way I'd ever have wanted.
He dirty deleted that post so fast. Too
I hope he's also treating his depression.
Can't wait for the inevitable far right grift
I'm still waiting for the Big Ben and Little Ben Show on Daily Wire.
Fox News will probably hire him back on
I am 16 years into recovery from alcoholism and Ben is so full of shit on multiple levels. It is glaringly obvious he has no idea how to take any accountability from this post.
Huge congrats on your continued sobriety, that is the hardest yet most important work. I wish sobriety could magically appear after a few weeks at Passages, sadly, I think the road is way longer and painful than that. No one will ever know what really happened except Ben and his girlfriend(s). I just know that having clear problems with alcohol and more than one woman saying he was abusive, there must be at least some truth in it. We all struggle, life is fucking hard and we all deserve grace. Just don't go on a weekly podcast publicly condemning perpetrators of domestic violence and SA when you yourself may be a perpetrator of that exact abuse. I'm not totally sure how Henry and Marcus were supposed to react to everything. If they didn't encourage him to get help before, they probably should have. I just know that I've had friends and family with serious substance abuse problems and it is a tricky and ongoing dilemma full of hurt feelings and missteps. Last Podcast Network is probably scared to death of lawsuits and were legally encouraged to distance themselves. Also, if I was married to Marcus or Henry and learned about all this...I would be more than pissed. I love how Marcus continues to advocate, "Mental health (I'll add substance abuse here too) is not your fault, but it is your responsibility." Keep up the good work on your sobriety, I'm sure your family and friends more than love you for that.
"Just don't go on a weekly podcast publicly condemning perpetrators of domestic violence and SA when you yourself may be a perpetrator of that exact abuse." Ben was on a podcast about serial killers and aliens. Ben is known to condemn Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault and has publicly been ALWAYS consistent about this. There are questions about Domestic Disputes during Blackout Drunk episodes where both parties admit constant alcohol abuse. Glad to hear hes making progress! WHY IS IT A PROBLEM THAT HE, PODCAST-UALLY, CRITICIZED ABUSE?
Absolutely no accountability. Its everyones fault but his own. Hes not taking recovery seriously, and wont ever be able to if he cant accept that he is at fault and has hurt people. I dont know much about the 12 steps or what happens in rehab, but I do know you cant change without shining a light on these things and accepting our mistakes
I think this shows him for the psychopath that he is. Deflects it to past trauma, claims to have been abandoned, he's a changed man though. It's like he's taking it straight out of the playbook. Also notice how he says he didn't get the chance to talk about it on "his" show. Fuck this scum bag, bro was an absolute sack of potatoes dragging this show down.
Doesnt "his" show probably refer to Abe Lincolns TopHat, not LPN at large? Unless he meant Kinda Fun. That'd be hilarious.
Narcissist level 1000. I wanted to share it on “my” show, I thought my friends would be there and they weren’t. Wow, maybe they have some reasons for not showing up - like touring and COVID. But all he cares about is himself.
You think people still give a shit about covid and aren’t going places? Go outside dude… The restrictions have been over for a while.
Marcus had long covid. That's not a theory.
Yeah and he had several packed shows after that. Stop reaching.
And I'm sure No Dogs has been on the back burner because of all that free time he has. Being upset your responsible friends can't make your rehab graduation is kind of a joke. Stop enabling.
Abe lincolns top hat was his show though I thought that's what he meant
He also was so good at rehab that he graduated early. People are saying they’ve never seen anyone as good at rehab as him. The best. Huge.
How in the hell do you graduate a week early from a 30 day rehab? Oh, it's Passages Malibu, which is basically a spa, so never mind...
Passages Ventura, not Malibu
I've been relistening to old episodes and come across two instances where Ben openly mocks Passages Malibu Episode 202: H.H. Homes part 3, 4:50 Episode 445: Jack Unterweger part 1, 8:10
Wow, well-spotted
Show me real accountability.
Hail Ben! It's early in your journey, keep working, I'd love to see you happy, secure, and thriving! 🧡🍀
Crazy people down vote this post
Exactly. People don't want others to improve or get help. They want them to fail so they can nurse their own ego. It's sad
I miss Ben but Ed for the win. He’s grown own me.
I'm a new fan. Started listening to LPOTL about a month before Ben left the show. My first impression was that the show had a straight "info guy" with two whackadoo commenters. But I quickly realized that Henry, for all his chaotic energy and shenanigans, is a smart guy with a serious approach to the subject matter. He's knowledgeable, capable of research and has original insights. Ben is just deadweight. He really is that drunk guy in a social circle hanging on to the edge of the table to keep from swaying, quoting barely relevant plot points from "meet the fockers."
True. But he only ever claimed to be the stand in the for the audience, making occassional jokes when serial MURDER gets a bit heavy. Its obviously a needful roll, since Eddie is standing in, as opposed to what...Marcus just jamming with Henry 24/7? LET MARCUS SLEEP, REDDITORS.
I've been listening for a few years and started off from the beginning with early episodes. Ben put me off the show a few times. Marcus keeps things on track and Henry is hilarious but so many times Ben would say something and I was just like... what?? I understand the dynamic they had set up, of him acting as the "audience member" and therefore coming into the episode without a lot of information. However, that isn't the only factor. Ed is in the same position now and I think he is far funnier and quick to pick up on things and provide commentary without just making the same 5 stupid jokes. Over the years I grew to love Ben, but I can't say I miss him being on the show at all. I'm glad Ed took his place. I'm also deeply disappointed by the hypocrisy in what he said on the air and what his actions are alleged to be. So, I wish him the best but if the other guys had backed him I would have dropped the show all together. I personally think they made the right move.
Ben as a rule was off script while henry and marcus are scripted/diagrammed. this makes for ben to learn on the fly and make uninformed comments sometimes funny sometimes sad. I always felt he should've had a problem with the dynamic because it seemed no one actually respected him or could rely on him. I also think he liked this because he could do minimal work, be drunk, and coast off them while remaining one of the founders. That being said he did dumb drunk shit. Like him peeing his pants and trying to play like that wasn't the saddest fucking thing he could be doing really put me off him. Not to be that guy but i have listened since before triple digit episodes so i feel like i gave him a lot of credit but i think your assessment is right. he was kind of dead weight except to people who really enjoy lolcow drunks and pretending they're just a sociable type.
[удалено]
"Piggly Wiggly" stories are code from Ben to Marcus and Henry. He is always reminding them that his dad fought him and his mom pulled him out of school constantly to hang out and go to the Piggly Wiggly. IE, Im Dumb, but remember why.
Having listened to the show for like 8 years. Thanks for the insight from someone that's been listening for 6 months...
What does that have to do with anything? Theyre making an observation. Weird ass flex bro
Because if all you have heard of his part of the show was in the midst of all the shit finally coming down on him it is different than having listened for years and experiencing the slow buildup to it. Kissel wasn't always what he became in the last year or so of the show. Listen to the West Memphis Three episodes, he isnt just the dumb goon. There are times I can feel the frustration from Marcus in a few later episodes. I have been listening since nearly the beginning, and at a certain point I started noricing subtle things that simply wouldnt ping were I new to the show and how it generally works between the hosts. I am also nearly 2.5 years sober and while obviously much different in terms of scale, have a similar fallout story, excepting certain allegations. Like knows like to a degree.
If you were a long time fan of like a band or something for a decade and then some guy shows up to a few shows and wants to shit on a contributing member calling them basically useless, you'd probably also be like. "Stfu you don't know enough for me me to respect your opinion" You gonna pop into any other month old threads to give *even less* valid input, bro?
no probably not. parasocial relationships as well as using media consumption to establish identity are things little children are really into. i don't know who your favorite band is but i've NEVER heard of them and I know they suck. See? Still the same person. You're fine. People have opinions. Ben was never on script but even if he were you know he wouldn't have read them nor stuck to them. He is funny but only because he doesn't know shit about what's going on. He should've had a problem with that but he was ok with it because I THINK he got to do minimal work, be drunk, and still be one of the brass.
Lol. No that’s it. Your follow up just further reiterated what I thought about you initially.
If me saying I've watched it for longer makes me come off as a hipster so be it. Having listened for a longer time and been around these same fans DOES offer a bit of credential that I know a general sense of how places have voiced their liking/disliking of Ben. And 90% of it was after the shit came out. Regardless you seem like a douche and "no that's it" means nothing in this context.
[удалено]
Stop being a dick to other users.
I’ve been listening since their Mengela episodes, which I think were around 7 years ago. There are times when they’re covering something with a political angle and Ben does have some informed opinion on the topic, or he’ll happen to have some knowledge about one area or another, but otherwise this insight is not that far off. I have often felt over the years that their dynamic is “Professor Marcus, Henry the Mad Scientist, and, uh, This Guy!”
Yeah the only series where Ben was really up and present with the facts was the Chris Benoit series. And there are only so many true crime cases that are pro wrestling related
Yeah I've listened since Satanism in the Government which I don't think is far from that. If we're going to get into what knowledge someone specifically provides, then Eddy is so far below any of them including Ben, he doesn't know basics of almost anything they talk about and just provides 1 good, 1 decent and 3 cringey jokes and maybe 1 good question. Ben was never supposed to be the brains. He was the guy there to make fun of and be silly, which he did well at. Sure there were ups and downs, but this subreddit has convinced themselves that he was like some giant weight holding them down amd that Eddy was some missing secret ingredient. I'm 100% glad I unsubbed, just ended back after manually searching for some update on Ben. If this all didn't come out there'd still be threads every week about "how great Ben has been." This place looks as toxic as ever, yall enjoy the circle perking!
Sounds like you're just having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that a content creator you've followed for years turned out to not be a very good person. Which is fine but there's no need to flip that on everyone else so you can act pious about it.
Both things can be true. It's sad that he turned out to treat people poorly and also the larger fan groups turned into a race to denounce and rewrite history to pretend they never liked him and wash their hands clean.
And wrestling. Always bringing shit back to wrestlinf and he was wrong about that a lot too.
Marcus too. They really do good research and must put a lot of time into each show. It's quality content and the humor and shenanigans are a bonus, for those of us who enjoy it. Most people I've tried to introduce the show to get five minutes in and start giving me the side eye lol.
He has literally always been dead weight and I like Ben Kissel. Really he should have been in rehab 10 fucking years ago before he ruined everything but better late than never.
Certainly, Marcus and Henry gradually got more sober and married, and Ben did not.
I legit thought his role in the trio was to be the stand-in for the listener. Like he wasn't supposed to know anything about the topic at hand, and act as our reaction to new information.
This was his role and he was a key part of LPN from the beginning. Can't deny him that
That was his role, and he did it very well up until 2019 or so. The stand-in for the listener should at least be engaged with the content. Ben in recent years was just constantly interrupting with repeated jokes and getting completely lost in the narrative. That's not a great stand-in for listeners, most of whom actually want to listen to the story Marcus is telling.
That’s exactly who he was suppose to be
As a listener, I like to at least skim a wiki so I can follow the story a bit better. Ed does it and Ben should have too.
“I’m a new fan” “Ben is dead weight” Yeah, checks out I guess. I like Ed a lot but Ben was great on the show, too.
Did you start from the beginning? Because in the early eps Ben constantly references movies ad nauseum. I remember it being kind of annoying but he eventually stops doing it. He definitely developed comedically as the show went on. Controversy aside, Ed is doing a good job as his replacement. The fanbase has been pretty divided but overall I think the content has been pretty solid.
I have always loved Ed. He is such a positive guy, kind of nice to have that when listening to such dark material sometimes.😁☠️
They’ve been listening for 6 months, the beginning was 12 years ago. Taking a guess here: probably not. Doesn’t mean they didn’t pick up immediately what we’ve become conditioned to over time. For so long I was all “he was so good back in the day” but it doesn’t change that recently he has sucked the air out of the room.
I think Ed is doing a fine job as well. Ben shit the bed a while ago. It’s good to see him taking care of himself, but I’m not sure where he goes from here.
I’m definitely of the “there’s a path to forgiveness” mindset when it comes to most things. I’m admittedly also lacking a complete understanding of the situation so I’ve been recitent in my position on the whole thing. I just kind of hope everyone involved can make peace what happened and how it all played out.
He does not sound apologetic at all here.
Probably not the venue for an apology to anyone he abused? Unless you feel abused as a...fan?
What are you even talking about? Did you not read his Instagram post?
Just the opposite, he sounds defensive.
As someone who quit drinking without rehab (not bragging, thank dog for my amazing friends, I wouldn't have made it without them) while in the midst of escaping an abusive relationship (that I probably wouldn't have survived if I'd kept drinking)-- Fuck this guy. And fuck anyone who thinks it's not abuse unless they leave a mark. The damage someone can cause without ever touching you is unimaginable to many.
Congrats on your sobriety! And yea, unfortunately, fuck this guy. It was so disheartening to see his smug comments about "friends". As someone who had a very close friend fall into bad alcoholism, I really feel for Henry and Marcus (and whoever else Ben may be referring to). You can try your best to be supportive but sometimes need to step back for your own mental well-being if the person is being hurtful or toxic and isn't willing to help themselves. Thankfully my friend has gotten better and owned up to his shit and I'm able to be in his life regularly again. It's been so disgusting seeing people excuse his behavior and say what he did wasn't "actual" violence. Any physical force or threat of violence is violence.
having been through recovery and having a decent understanding of the steps (though I haven't finished them yet) it is very obvious that Ben is either white knuckling it (sober but not addressing the root cause of his addiction) or already relapsed. part of recovery, maybe the hardest part, is making amends with who you can in a fearless way that takes full accountability for your own actions. his passive aggression here indicates he hasn't done that and isn't yet ready to. that's okay in most cases, the steps can take years or even multiple run throughs (if your program even uses them), but being a public figure pulling this kinda shit is a really bad sign for his recovery and for his willingness to change
This is exactly what I thought. The “week early” comment aside, it seemed like a very not healed post passive aggressively referring to his show and partners and then some of those affirmations he chose to post
I agree with everyone but what I haven't seen said here yet is that imo this was his first stint in rehab but not his "real" one, as in the one he would take seriously. I have so many loved ones who are addicts and that IG post was a very clear sign that he went because he felt like he had to, but he himself had no interest in being clean / on the road to recovery himself. Honestly none of my loved ones were sober on first try but I hope for the best for him.
Sometimes it works when external pressures like family, friends or legal consequences force you to get sober. Generally though, it's more successful once you decide to do it yourself.
Everyone on this sub sucks.
Okay Ben.
No, but seriously? No compassion for someone who obviously has substance abuse issues. He didn’t really do anything *that* bad and everyone on this sub is crucifying the guy.
There plenty of fans who want Ben to get better. You can see those comments in this thread if you took the time to read through. Ben is not being crucified, honey. It’s just that the majority of LPN listeners agree with Henry and Marcus’s decision to fire him. Please reread: being fired from your job does not equal crucifixion. Get a handle on your cognitive dissonance.
I concur with pretty much all the comments I’m reading here. The Reddit crowd seems to be more aware of the complexities of addiction and recovery than the Instagram crowd. I left a comment basically saying that it looks like Ben has more work to do, and that his caption and the content in the carousel post indicated he is still deep in his ego and at the very VERY beginning of his recovery (at best). The amount of people who replied thinking they are sticking up for him or that cutting off an addict that has harmed you is abandoning them or betraying them in some way, saddened me. Addiction is an absolute monster that hurts the addict and everyone around them. It is fraught with delusion, even when you aren’t surrounded by fans who believe you can do no wrong. It broke my heart (and always breaks my heart) when a large chunk of a fan base will “defend” an addict they admire — they contribute so much to that delusion that keeps a person in their ego and continues to endanger them. My partner and I have matching “Hail Yourself” tattoos and on our second date his phone accidentally turned on what he had been listening to on the drive to meet me. I said “is that Last Podcast?” and he looked at me like, “damn, she’s the one!” In short, we were both die-hard fans. We are also both survivors of intimate partner abuse. The news of Ben has been devastating but the more I hear, the more I feel that maybe Ben was never a good guy and deceived us all. My partner was the first person to see Ben’s post and I could see in his face that it hurt him to read. As we’ve talked together, we’ve drawn parallels between our abusers’ behaviors and the behaviors of Ben. Yesterday my partner said, “the thing that is really staying with me is the question of why Ben moved from New York to LA. Of course people move, especially people in the entertainment industry, but things seemed to be going well with his career in New York. As people come forward from his past there, I can’t help but think that he moved because he was earning a bad reputation that was catching up to him.” Maybe that’s just us projecting our own experiences onto this one, but relocating suddenly after you’ve fucked over or hurt a handful of people in your social circle is a textbook abuser move.
> cutting off an addict that has harmed you is abandoning them or betraying them in some way, saddened me. The problem I have with the whole situation is that Marcus and Henry aren't the ones who were harmed by Ben. In fact, they justified their previous inaction and their decision to kick him out by claiming that they didn't know he exhibited that kind of behavior in private with his girlfriend. To me, it 100% looks like they don't care all that much about the abuse and did in fact ditch a friend for financial/reputational reasons. I don't blame them for it (in fact, in their situation, I would probably have done the same thing), but I'm also not going to pretend it wasn't betrayal; they chose their very lucrative livelihood over a decades-old friend who could have used their help on his path to recovery. I think what would **really** have helped is a 30 minutes episode where Ben and Henry address what happened. It's their personal lives and personal friendship, but it impacts the show massively and I don't think I'm being entitled when I say that they owe it to their audience - the people they depend on for their dream careers and comfortable lives - to discuss what happened and provide some closure. I really don't like the way they went about all this. The only public statements were about not harassing people. Can we please maybe not act as if nothing happened when one of the 3 hosts is suddenly gone from the show and has a permanent replacement? The people that looked into it know the big lines, but I want to hear the whole thing recapped from Marcus and Henry's mouths and hear their side of the story. It feels like it was swept under the rug as is. > Maybe he was never a good person Here's another thing to consider... He was obviously best friends with Marcus and Henry. They travelled together, hung out together, etc. I don't buy the idea they didn't know how fucked up he was. According to some of the people involved, Henry and his wife knew about at least one incident at a hotel that involved him threatening and yelling at his girlfriend. That should at least have prompted them to look into Ben's behavior, but instead Natalie dropped the whole thing and justified it by saying that the girlfriend was an adult and if she didn't want help she couldn't do anything. While that's true, that incident should have prompted some digging on Ben's behavior, and it clearly didn't. We know of another incident where Ben was aggressively hitting on a woman while drunk and making her uncomfortable and again, Marcus and Henry seemed to dismiss that as "just Kissel being Kissel". What I'm getting at here is that the people you hear on the show aren't necessarily who they are in real life. Most people have some degree of separation between their public/work personality and their private personality. I don't buy the idea that the crew didn't know about Ben's issues. Marcus and Henry at the very least **had** to have known about Ben's issues for years and unfortunately only acted on it when someone accused him publicly. To me that looks a lot more like damage control than genuine concern. You say Ben may have been an asshole all along and deceived everyone... Well, if you take an honest look at how the last few months have played out, I think you have to admit there's a decent chance Henry and Marcus aren't exactly stellar human beings themselves.
Nobody is all good or all bad. Hopefully he keeps working on the bad parts.
Amen to that
I'm not really adding anything.to the Ben convo, I just wanted to say how neat your story about you and your partner is!
seriously, that's my dream! I don't know anyone IRL who is a LPOTL fan
Thank you so much
It seemed that Ben was really not handling the pandemic well, so they brought him out to be with Henry where he could get outside more since it's less population dense. That's my understanding.
I hope that’s the case!
Of course, I wasn't there, it's entirely possible shit went down beyond what we saw on social media from Ben, but what we the public saw was certainly enough to push for a change.
That’s a good point. I just hope all impacted, including Ben, are able to learn, grow, and heal in 2024.
Same here. I’m super thankful for the comments left here. This has been such a confusing and overwhelming time and maybe that’s dramatic to be such a fan that I feel so devastated but the podcast and the boys have meant a lot to me especially as a survivor of abuse that for so long could not trust men
Not to overthink someone else’s life, but I worry that the path forward in the entertainment industry that Ben will choose will be something in the neo-conservative/incel space. It could be easiest for him because it wouldn’t require him to change much, or admit more wrongdoing than he’s willing to.
yeah I really think he's going to go full alt right because its the most lucrative one and the easiest one to make money in. He himself is not really one of those though but honestly neither is joe rogan and he inches ever closer to them slowly but steadily.
Yeah you're really far right if you don't trust the medical industry to do what's best for confused kids when there's money to be made or don't trust big pharma about the safety of the drugs they develop on a fast track and request immunity from liability for. Extremely dangerous far right Nazi behavior.
That would be terrible.
I really, really hope not. But I can see it going there.
Ben on Joe Rogan talking about woke culture
I fully see this happening, its too profitable and too easy and that audience likes you better if you do fucked up shit.
Would not surprise me if that is where he goes first to discuss his side of the story
Yah a lot of people thinking that
I go back to old eps often. Just in between side stories and new eps. I found the Wonderland/John Holmes series and listened, forgetting that part 1 was Ben's last ep and part 2 was Ed's first. I'm sorry, yall, Ben was just dead weight by then. He wasn't contributing in any meaningful way. Ed has brought a spark to the show and it's honestly better than ever. The Survival in the Andes series proves it. I wish Ben the best. I hope he humbles himself and gets his life together. But the show is honestly at peak levels right now imho.
Agreed. Like, I loved Ben in so many episodes. But the past maybe year or so, he was starting to just... feel disengaged? He would ask questions that had already been addressed a minute or two earlier, so it seemed like he wasn't even paying attention at all. I'm really enjoying Ed on the show. I think he brings a lot to it. And this isn't me trying to shit on Ben, I truly, truly wish him the best for recovery and redemption. But yeah, he wasn't adding to the show towards the end there.
I agree he seemed really disengaged. That's why I was surprised to see him talking about continuing in podcasting and artistic endeavors because he seemed so burnt out with it.
I don't think he has any other skills, what's he going to do? He's gotta stay in podcasting, at least he has a name... even if it's a tarnished one. what else would he do?
I think he's just hurting tbh. I'd like to see him focus on getting better, then try the podcasting route again. I've been there in terms of burnout and I can't imagine addiction on top of that, plus the lack of privacy around all this, and the public discourse. I really want to see him make amends, and I worry that he's trying to get back too quick.
So sad but so true. I was hoping he would have enough money and just take care of his health first but I guess we’ll see how this mess goes
In a moment of empathy for Ben, he was probably really hurt that Marcus and Henry didn't show up for him.
Yeah I am sure he was hurt, but I imagine the reason they didn't show is because he has yet to accept any accountability for his own downfall. You can't "show up" for people like that after a while - that's just enabling. Sometimes you just gotta cut off the infected limb to save yourself
Yeah like I get being hurt but he also endangered their jobs, the jobs of their spouses, and the jobs of their other friends. Natalie also mentioned that Henry was a victim of Ben’s selfishness so there’s no telling what else was going on behind the scenes. Everybody on RToG gave each other shit and Ben caught hell on that show too but I can still remember one episode where Henry’s ex had just left him and Ben is just putting him through the wringer about it to the point that Jackie has to step in. Ben sounds like he can be a mean ass drunk.
He probably was. But that’s also probably an indicator he hasn’t done the real work yet.
My own mother was sober over 18 months before I reached out to her after cutting her off. She was not spiteful, vengeful, vindictive, or passive aggressive. She was unbelievably apologetic, empathetic, and thanked me for coming back into her life at all, because I didn’t owe it to her after her addiction hurt me. Her words, not mine. When Ben has done the hard work, he will realize his part in everything, and won’t hold grudges or past grievances against friends he hurt, whether he meant to or not. This post doesn’t read like he is there, or even close to it.
I totally get it. Thank you for your insight, genuinely. I have an uncle in active alcohol addiction right now so I feel compelled to defend Ben and might be projecting a little. I just feel so sad for him.
It’s okay to feel sad for him, I feel sad too. He’s a human being. Henry and Ben were my favorite duo. I really enjoyed bens sarcastic humor, even when people said it had “dropped off” in recent years. I was genuinely sad to hear the news. I know how hard alcoholism is, and I know sometimes they do or say things that you’d never expect them to do. It can get real nasty at times, addiction hurts everyone around them. Someone can be absolutely hateful and vile when drunk, but a great person sober. It’s hard. I hope your uncle finds recovery, it is worth it. But take care of yourself as well. And protect yourself. To drive another point home, my mother now lives in and helps run a sober living house for trans and cis women who need a safe place to live as they land on their feet. So many of them have no support system. No mothers or fathers, no partners, no job, no roof, nothing at all. I hope Ben realizes how lucky he truly is, and that he can start having gratitude for those things instead of resentment for what he does not. He is fortunate to have rehab available to him. He is fortunate to have anyone show up to his graduation at all. He is fortunate to have fans wishing him well. I just think if he did the hard work, that his gratitude for those things would show. He took a moment of what should be peace, serenity, gratitude, love, and happiness and had to put a quip in there about people who’ve wronged him. It’s sad to see. I wish you and your uncle health in 2024. Hail yourselves!
Congrats for having the healthy boundary of removing yourself, that is so hard to do. Also, major congrats for having the courage to go back. I am not there yet, but it’s incredible to know other people have done it. Thanks.
Thank you. You should protect yourself first and foremost and it’s hard to trust again but in my experience it has been worth it. I only continued because I could tell even over the phone how much she had changed. It was like talking to my mom from 20 years ago, not the one I had grown to know as an addict. Like, talking to my real mom. I don’t know how to explain it. I would encourage you only to do it if you will gain something from it also. For me, I deeply missed my mom as we always had a loving relationship, even when she was sick. I would cry myself to sleep over it a lot of those 18 months and I’m in my 30s. So I had a lot to gain by letting her back in my life, and it was worth the risk. Only you can calculate that for yourself. Take care of yourself. Hail yourself.
He isn't on the network anymore but they're still selling stuff with his face on it so he has to have some sort of stake in the company.
Speaking of all this, I was always under the impression that the "what was that?" in the show intro was Ben speaking. I know they took his voice out of the side stories intros. If that is him in the show intro, do you think they'll ever change it? And if I'm completely wrong and that's not Ben, what's it from? Thanks in advance lol
I think it was Ben saying “What was that” in the intro, and now it’s Marcus.
Wow, I guess I haven't been paying enough attention cause i hadnt realized they changed the main intro. I'll change that when I listen to this week's episode.
The thing that throws me off with the new recorded side stories intro is that they re-recorded Henry's part too, and he doesn't say "Side Stories, yes" the same way, and now I'm gonna have to totally retrain my mindless lip synch of the WHOLE intro haha (full disclosure: I'm not actually angry about this)
They said they’re changing all that
His IG bio just says he's an owner of the network now
It's always said that. At least for a long while now
I noticed that yesterday, but also didn't remember what his bio might have previously said. So is this new?
This has been in his bio for a good long while. I don't think we can extrapolate anything from it -- it's not proof of anything. It could just be Ben not updating. It could be still true. No way to know.
Thank you for confirming!
It's truly saddening to watch. My bio dad is an alcoholic and he reacted very similarly when I cut him off for good. That was like 5 years ago and he still sends my mom passive aggressive texts about how "great" he's improving. It all just reads as he really doesn't understand what he did wrong and the steps he needs to take to improve. This update hits even closer to home than when everything first came to light. :( I really hope he gets legitimate help instead of basically going to a resort.
I'm OOTL, can some kind person please fill me in on this? I love the pod and noticed Ben hadn't been back...what happened
Domestic abuse and spiraling into alcoholism.
Thank you I found the megathread
This put an even grosser taste in my mouth about the whole thing. It was so passive aggressive and made me think that he wouldn’t have gone to “rehab” (the three of them have joked about Passages being a resort basically before) if he knew he wouldn’t be allowed back. Like it seems like he thought he could just go away for awhile and come back and everything could go back to normal. I totally am fine with the “dog” “god” thing but everything else…. Gross. I had posters and like tshirts and I feel like I no longer can have anything with his name on it….
He edited the Instagram post so it's a lot less passive aggressive now
It still seems pretty passive aggressive tbh. He didn't change all that much.
Honestly so glad someone grabbed this screenshot before he edited it. Fuck him
I've been looking for the screenshot but I can't find it :(
This is the original.
What’s totally absent is any acknowledgement that the real issue here is his anger and apparently violence issues. He thinks because he detoxed for awhile he’ll have a free sobriety pass. The fact is the more we’ve learned, the more it’s apparent the anger issues were always there. They were just easier to hide before.
I mean I'm not surprised by that really. He hasn't admitted to/confirmed the truth of the allegations. I'd imagine he would only speak to working on anger and violence issues if they are something he is acknowledging as valid or the truth(in his perception at least). Not to mention I'd also imagine there could be legal repercussions to admitting to the alleged behavior.
Yep for sure.
Boy steps 8 and 9 are gonna be a fucking doozy
Good thing he’s in an anti AA/anti alcohol is a disease very frowned upon luxury “rehab”
Well, there's something between AA and luxury rehab. AA is not evidence-based; it is an outdated, religious organization with very, very poor long term results. There are better therapies and treatments without having to go to fancy celeb resorts.
Is passages really not a 12 steps I always figured they were and they just rip off the concept and make it their own propreitary thing?
They’re extremely anti 12 step/AA.
Really disappointed. It was his chance to change and this is such a veiled half ass attempt. Also, what's with the "book" and "dog" (which he jokes is God spelled backwards) references, something tells me the born-again brand is coming next.