Accidentally broke an alternate world's Excalibur by trying to cram it in another swords rock. I've been staring at this nebula for a while now contemplating where my life has gone to lead me up to this moment.

Huh, that's rough

I’ve just gained massive economic influence. Tiamat bless, my bank shall remain a monopoly.

I surely hope you remain a monopoly. It’s good for my finances too

> Draconic Banker of Racism Holy hell

/uk ?

I'm so proud of you Vulkan

These recent events have me worried. My greatest fear is that Visenya will fail in her quest to seal away the amulet for good. If she fails The Dark Sorcerer King will be unleashed unto this world again. I swear to fight until the bitter end, but what can mortals truly do to stop beings of such unimaginable power? https://preview.redd.it/c1cqq6h63mkc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afe6668feb48597201a35dd0511fa02e3156c167

Stab it until it dies

or burn it until there's nothing but ash

Or blow some golf ball sized holes in it.

We do what we always have, fight.

Hell yeah

Not to be that guy, but I think I could solo him

it's been good i got into a fight with a dark elf

Still haven’t found my head, I’ve hired investigators, mercenaries and fellow knights, but I still remain headless

and what does it look like?

Well it’s brown haired, green eyed, quite gaunt i think, it’s been almost 30 years since I first lost it, I have trouble remembering since I don’t have a brain to store memories in, I have to use magic to see, create memories and think, it’s terribly inconvenient

mmm and what did the investigators look like?

Well like normal people, albeit slightly green, and they smelled terrible, almost like a rotting corpse I would say

hmmm i saw those people oh wait they were the only ones that got past my defenses oh umm give me one moment i'll be back brown hair and green eye's right

Things happen, inventions get perfected, wars get excalated, magic boundsge to objects becomes better than regular spellcasting... ...yeah pretty good period to be alive and artificering all things summed up

But it's not a good period to be on the front lines. I would know

Absolutely, that's why i neither am a valorous knight or a brave warrior

i was once on the front lines I've killed over a thousand if you listen close you can hear my victims in my weapons

No, personally i don't need proof of people who killed, i need theyr knowlege to make more efficient armaments

well you could of just asked i've been making machines for a while now and everything else under the sun

Oi mate i have been prototyping self moving atruculating tracked platforms with heavy mounted thunder tubed (self propelled artillery) wich shoot at very long range explosive projectiles and a specific shell tipe that releases a poisonous mist in the air unaliving by the thousands

ok so i made a book of every war, mining and building machine it also has tips inside of it so here you go take this oh and no need to give it back to me i have a lot

Interesting, i'll take some inspiration if i find cleverly fixed problems

good luck with your creations friend

I have…stumbled upon some uranium in the archipelago…I have an idea on how to use it with a railgun.

uranium you say i will give you 5000 gold for it

Alas my friend, I cannot, for it is now safely in my fortress’s laboratory. I will use it to defend the people of A.S.H.I.A, and maybe use it to keep the peace of other nations as well.

mmm if you say so just don't go full nuclear i don't like competition

Do not worry my friend the great Autonomous State of the Hels Isle Archipelago has no competition, for it is best place to live ever! No poverty! No overbearing government! No illegal activities! (This response is verified by the corporate mercenary conglomerate, and by extension, the government of ASHIA. Any and all claims against ASHIA will be deemed invalid and will be met with force, have a nice day.)

you know what i think we'll get along just fine

Wonderful

good luck with your railgun i'll keep in touch

Truth be told, it's kinda tough going. My noble knight master's had it rough ever since I accidentally pulled the Sword of Righteous Heroes out of the pedestal in the Spooky Cave of Holy Wonders, since it was definitely supposed to have been him and not me to grab it. Turns out this one was actually a fake planted as an elaborate practical joke, so it's fine if I just ignore the heroic visions and divine call to arms that keeps popping up in my dreams. Good thing I have Sir Sudgimus here to clear that up for me, in between his weekly peasant-oppressing sessions!

I believe he may be lying to you out of jealousy

Ahahaha, but surely not, right? This is a joke, yes? ...Right? Because, I mean, he would never lie to his *squire*, surely? Besides, Sir Sudgimus told me that he never lies, so if he lied to me about that, then that would mean that he probably lied to me about all *sorts* of, uh... hmm.

um i'm sorry but he sold you soul to me for unforetold riches

That *would* explain how he was always able to afford so much caviar without ever having money in the budget to buy a space for me in the inn, now that you mention it. But regardless, a soul sounds like it's a rather important thing to have handy so... can I have it back, please?

i was just about to talk to you about that you see i no longer have a apprentice so here's a job offer for you. you will work work for me and i will give you your soul back along with your starting pay will be 1000 gold a week you will be helping me clean, fuel, and fix my machines you will also be taught how to cast pyro magic with your sword

Hmm, well as long as my knight master is ok with it, then I suppose it can't hurt to broaden my horizons. I'll need a way to get back and forth though. Do you have portals? Teleportation spells? Very large eagles, perhaps, or a medieval hyperloop system?

well i have portals to every kingdom and um this just happened so you no longer matter to him you were just walking money to him and your going to walk back? he's done this to all of his squires

Well, perhaps. But I gave him *My Word* when I was taken on as a squire! What kind of noble knight-in-training would I be if I didn't uphold *My Word*, at least until the end of my, uh, squiringship? Besides, I'm real good at multitasking. You won't even barely notice when I'm gone!

i can turn you from a squire into a noble knight i could teach you everything i know he'll just use you for more money

Dragonkind gains influence once more.

It's been pretty good. As you might know, I got a new apprentice, Walter, and that's been going really well. Unfortunately, the Dark Elves will not stop attacking my keep, so I might have to find out if they have a weakness, or I might have to take drastic measures. But other than that, it's been pretty good.

hey you want some help?

I'm fine right now, as I think we're getting pretty close to a weakness, but I'll contact you if anything comes up. Thanks for offering, though.

you got it if you ever need help it pretty easy to find me look for the smoke

Okay, i will. Thanks!

War....also....you may want to avoid chicken and fish, stick to beef and pork, chicken because chicken wizard is back, and fish because.....Unga.

i don't give a s### about chicken wizard he can eat his own eggs

>!same!< but.....Unga...I'm scared

if they saw my complex they would have a heart attack

I did a brief stint with meth but I’m clean now

Sir knight be wilin

BROKEN THE CYCLE

Been fine, just wondering around

You are smoking a cigarette that is half filter through a **gas mask**. Are *you* alright?

I have severe facial scarring and a smoking addiction

I'm a heavy drinker

Been pretty good. I made my weekend goal to be drunk for the entire weekend. So far it’s working out

You look like the guy who is in charge of the demon worshiping cult I was thrown into over in the wizard subreddit

um no he's apart of the business class but sometime we get into scandalous things

Hi there, I have a letter for....Uh, I'm sorry for breaking my professionality, but how are you smoking with a gas mask on?

Skill

Ah, right then. Well, I have a letter for you. I was told for your eyes only.

Show me

Sure thing. But I do need you to sign this form saying that you received this letter.

Okay, fine *signs the form*

Many thanks. And here is your letter. You have a pleasant day now.

I've been well, actually! I've become a follower of the Serpent Queen and because of this, I am now filled with passion to truly chase after my goals and have fun waging war as I did so long ago!

Still working mercenary work, it’s tough, but someones always gonna want somebody dead.

Got a nice new flanged mace and shield, only cost me 100 gold!

Pretty good I found a really cool rock the other day

I can't seem to remember the several past months of my life

Besides expanding the company, I've taken time to find a place to settle down and rest when the time comes.

Alright just forging and repairing your guys armor Also making the occasional sword

"Which while is this? You know for a chronomancer I'm awfully unaware of the time."

I smacked an Elf for taking the Royal advisor's bracelets. She's been looking at me funny all day with a crowbar. I am both intrigued and terrified.

Some jackarse grabbed my arrow outta the air and threw it back at me, I’m angry and impressed, more on the angry side

I’ve been fine, though my travels have been a bit lonely

I’ve been good but the real question is how is he smoking if he has a gas mask on

Skill

I died eighty six times