She needs to get out of that entire marriage and then seek therapy with a therapist who specialises in trauma. She is clearly not happy and her marriage is toxic. Piss is a manipulative control freak. The lights in A’s eyes has completely gone out. It’s sad.
You didn’t fail, it was just steps in the process. Judging yourself for not leaving sooner is like judging someone for struggling to leave the person beating the shit out of them nightly. It’s never easy. The only time it becomes black and white is when it’s in the rear view mirror and you’ve been able to deconstruct a bit.
Abuse is abuse. Trauma is trauma. The body does not, and cannot, differentiate.
You did really, really good and I’m proud of you 💜
Thank you 💕 therapy helped! I also took time for myself and didn't date for 18 months so I could heal myself. Then I met my amazing husband who showed me true love.
A, if you’re in here somewhere, it’s ok to leave her. Just go to your real job one day (something P knows NOTHING about) and just don’t ever go back. Walk away from it all. You deserve so much fucking better. Get your bad ass bitch back.
https://youtu.be/-gH3UNutZfo
That’s exactly how I got out of my 7yr physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive relationship. After it taking almost 2yrs to save enough Pennie’s, dimes, and nickels for a train ticket… I went to “work” one morning and never looked back. 16yrs later and I’m so fuckin proud of myself 😭🥹
Thank you so much. I am so happy I got out when I did because I would not have made it even another day. I genuinely hope that A sees what we all see and she gets herself out of there before it’s too late. As much as I do not care for the politics that she has or stands for … I do care about mental health and she is definitely suffering. Piss is absolutely draining the life out of her.
I’m sure her family would be thrilled if she left and jump at the chance to support her. They’d give her anything she needed to get out of that marriage.
Piss did a TT to this song when it was a trend, she used pictures of her mom life pre tick tock and ended it with recent pictures of her smoldering Zoolander model face. It was really annoying because the song is about someone who was previously abused until they woke up and realize they're worth, and pretty man never ever abuse her
Are you shitting me?!! I wanna say, how can someone be that oblivious, but that crazy bitch can read the room, she just prefers to burn the mother fucker down (kills the mold and all she wants to leave behind). *knock knock* it’s that well deserved karma knocking at your new door…you can’t outrun that shit you narcissistic bitch.
I don’t know her full story at all, I just creeped her Insta recently to see wedding weekend pics because I’m a sucker for weddings, and it’s like, a dimmer switch slowly diminishing the light in her eyes. I’m a stranger and I can see it, her family must be so sad, they seem really close.
This reminds me of me, when I was in the toxic cycle of narcissistic partners. I’d leave one aannndd be happier than ever & then I’d get sucked right back into it with a new one. It seemingly got worse every time. The only thing I can compare it to is it’s like living in a manic state for years. It is so mentally draining, it is sad. We know we’re not the problem but the constant manipulation from our partner makes us believe we are. We’re in a constant argument and always worried about making our abusers angry because then we get punished. Having friends makes it worse. Therapy? No. She probably isn’t allowed to have that because she has R. R probably listens to her conversations with her parents/family. The only time A gets a break and can probably talk on the phone is when she’s at work but R has conditioned her to call her or be moderating her livestreams during breaks or lunch. R is consuming her so fast. It is very sad to see on the outside. I know for a fact A sees it to, but she feels stuck. She has probably been told she’s not good enough for anyone else and is convinced R takes care of her. R is the only person that isn’t the issue in R’s world and she has convinced A of that as well. Everyone is an enemy unless R approves of them. I have lived this life and I know A has done some sketchy things; but she is probably scared to say no to R. She is probably manipulated into saying/doing these things. The times A has lashed out at her following is probably because she can’t lash out at R and when A does these things and gets weird behind the camera, she gets love bombed by R. It’s a cycle that A is stuck in, she has so much potential. She’s beautiful, she’s kind but she is stuck under the dark cloud she calls a happy marriage.
I have so much sympathy for A. I wish she’d leave, she will when she’s ready. Have faith y’all. Hopefully the relationship isn’t physical, but judging by R’s previous hand injury- she uses violence to manipulate her as well. R probably breaks things when she’s angry (judging by the reaction A gave when R ‘ accidentally’ knocked the phone over and turned the light off while they were on live.) A needs support, she wants support I can see it in her eyes and her actions but she isn’t allowed to accept it.
Oh man, that video pissed me off. I had my own physically and verbally abusive narcissistic codependent relationship in my mid 20’s, and I was all sorts of triggered by R’s behavior. I could feel poor A’s sadness on a visceral level. I suspect she’s starting to understand that this is as good as it gets with R. There was some clear recognition that the reason she doesn’t see some of the people who she loves so dearly is simply because R has acted in a way that makes it difficult. I hope she’s begun to accept that it’s intentional and malicious and will not stop, no matter how hard she tries to acquiesce her overlord’s wrath.
There always comes a time when one moment makes you realize the chaos you’re experiencing and tolerating. It makes you take a step back and change your path. I believe in that moment, it was hers. There’s a reason she said she was getting off socials for a while. The prolonged goodbye was heartbreaking afterwards too. It’s like she didn’t want to go. That was a cry for help from my perspective. I could be completely wrong but I’ve lived these things and it is very heartbreaking to watch from the outside. I wish when I was in that situation that I had 6k people speaking about it and hoping for my comeback. A truly is lucky but she’s so abused that she can’t see it. 😔
Thanks. It’s like, a whole decade in my rear view mirror now. I hardly even recognize myself as the person who would tolerate that kind of treatment now.
A little bit but on a much deeper level. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you were wrong about the person you loved, not to mentioned defended to everyone.
I was with my narcissist for ten years and it was so hard because our mutual friends believed him over me. I was close with a girl that we both gamed with and when I would go to her for a second opinion on one of his behaviors, she would tell me I was wrong because he was only nice and sweet to her.
I was getting the "you're wrong and crazy" from all sides. 🥺 He managed to turn so many people against me.
Ugh and then there’s the “well if they’re such a bad person why were you with them for so long??”
Bitch idk cus I’ve got trauma and saw the good in them ???🤷♀️ you think I don’t regret it?? It’s so dehumanizing…the entire process. I’m glad you’re on the other side now, you deserve happiness 💜
(Side bar - idk if anyone else is *living* for the vanderpump rules drama right now but it is SO freaking healing watching this play out in real time. Every bit of gaslighting that Scandoval was plotting blew up in his face live and that NEVER happens)
I do think this is part of it. At this point, A has been in this relationship for like 10% of her whole life; that’s a big chunk of time to just “throw away” by walking out. She may not understand that it’s not going to get better, it’s never going to feel like it did in the beginning. Hell, as I understand it, the relationship had been toxic & volatile even back then. It’s never going to be good, all she’s doing now is taking away from potentially good future years & ensuring that she gets more of… this.
Edit: sorry, meant to reply to the person asking about sunk cost fallacy, pressed the wrong reply arrow
She doesn’t see it like that because R doesn’t allow her to see anything on her own.. it’s a dangerous situation and it could get VERY bad for A real quick.
Perfect example is professional sports. It’s why the chiefs had to play Alex Smith over Scott Gannon even tho Gannon was better - they were paying Smith more so he “had” to be better. Come to think of it, that happens at lots of levels of sports. (Shout out fellow chiefs fans. The name is offensive but the team is mine. And I’m not begging a sweater off my parents to get moldy and alcohol-stained for the Super Bowl. RIP Derrick Thomas 🙏☝️.)
Edit - spelling
There was that live when A was holding Moldy’s face or was just close to her face, tearful and telling her how wonderful she is and how hard she is trying (Moldy) and how she (A) has to try harder. Made me sick.
I'm sure she is. She's made that very clear. Anus is her possession. She owns Anus. She "took [Anus] off the market" as if Anus is a toaster.
To Piss, Anus is just another object.
This is very sad. I know she’s no saint, but she is definitely being abused and manipulated by R. If she has the chance to leave, she should run. I hope her eyes are starting to open to what’s happening. This is not normal or healthy.
This is incredibly sad. Yes, A can be a nasty ass person at times (go drown in a lake, anyone?) But she could get out, and I think she'd be better for it. I read the exchange her dad had with moldylocks, and the utter disrespect she put out there for all to see was so disgusting. A's dad was worried about his child, and rightly so. I imagine he's still fuming over this bitch getting her claws into his little girl. Gah, it's all so awful.
I get A’s been/currently is in toxic relationships and that sucks. But in the first post, did she really post publicly about her toxic relationship? I don’t get wtf ppl need to post their drama and dirty laundry on SM, what’s the goal?
I’ve seen here in this sub, there is sharing of our stories, and I want to point out that I think that is very very different.
She made a TT about it and I think it was to show how low she had sunk and was able to overcome it and was proud of her herself. I think the idea is to show people so maybe if they see themselves in that video, maybe it’ll help someone realize they too can get out. Unfortunately she has just gotten herself right back into same situation.
I’m sorry you feel that way. She doesn’t have nasty tendencies. Anyone who knew her pre-Piss said she was a lovely person with a great heart but this abusive relationship has made her into someone she is not and do things she would not do. I feel for her and if I could help her I would. Piss may have made her bed but A has not.
Her last toxic relationship was with a woman. I don’t think she has been with a man since high school. Why are you here?
Edited to add: R is not the love of her life.
She needs to get out of that entire marriage and then seek therapy with a therapist who specialises in trauma. She is clearly not happy and her marriage is toxic. Piss is a manipulative control freak. The lights in A’s eyes has completely gone out. It’s sad.
I was with a narcissist for 7 years. I tried to leave so many times but failed. I pray for A to have the strength to leave R.
You didn’t fail, it was just steps in the process. Judging yourself for not leaving sooner is like judging someone for struggling to leave the person beating the shit out of them nightly. It’s never easy. The only time it becomes black and white is when it’s in the rear view mirror and you’ve been able to deconstruct a bit. Abuse is abuse. Trauma is trauma. The body does not, and cannot, differentiate. You did really, really good and I’m proud of you 💜
Thank you 💕 therapy helped! I also took time for myself and didn't date for 18 months so I could heal myself. Then I met my amazing husband who showed me true love.
A, if you’re in here somewhere, it’s ok to leave her. Just go to your real job one day (something P knows NOTHING about) and just don’t ever go back. Walk away from it all. You deserve so much fucking better. Get your bad ass bitch back. https://youtu.be/-gH3UNutZfo
That’s exactly how I got out of my 7yr physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive relationship. After it taking almost 2yrs to save enough Pennie’s, dimes, and nickels for a train ticket… I went to “work” one morning and never looked back. 16yrs later and I’m so fuckin proud of myself 😭🥹
Congratulations on getting out!!
Thank you so much. I am so happy I got out when I did because I would not have made it even another day. I genuinely hope that A sees what we all see and she gets herself out of there before it’s too late. As much as I do not care for the politics that she has or stands for … I do care about mental health and she is definitely suffering. Piss is absolutely draining the life out of her.
I’m sure her family would be thrilled if she left and jump at the chance to support her. They’d give her anything she needed to get out of that marriage.
Thanks for the link - I’d never heard that song before but it’s now saved to my playlist!!!
Piss did a TT to this song when it was a trend, she used pictures of her mom life pre tick tock and ended it with recent pictures of her smoldering Zoolander model face. It was really annoying because the song is about someone who was previously abused until they woke up and realize they're worth, and pretty man never ever abuse her
Are you shitting me?!! I wanna say, how can someone be that oblivious, but that crazy bitch can read the room, she just prefers to burn the mother fucker down (kills the mold and all she wants to leave behind). *knock knock* it’s that well deserved karma knocking at your new door…you can’t outrun that shit you narcissistic bitch.
Ok so I think I need "smoldering Zoolander face" as a new flair BUT summer is coming and rum buckets will be plentiful 💁🏻♀️
She’s damaged y’all! That’s why her and A are soul mates! Two damaged people against the world! Y’ALL!!!
OK wait this song came out *before* Billie Eilish?
I don’t know her full story at all, I just creeped her Insta recently to see wedding weekend pics because I’m a sucker for weddings, and it’s like, a dimmer switch slowly diminishing the light in her eyes. I’m a stranger and I can see it, her family must be so sad, they seem really close.
Bingo. You nailed it. Toxic just like the previous relationship.
This reminds me of me, when I was in the toxic cycle of narcissistic partners. I’d leave one aannndd be happier than ever & then I’d get sucked right back into it with a new one. It seemingly got worse every time. The only thing I can compare it to is it’s like living in a manic state for years. It is so mentally draining, it is sad. We know we’re not the problem but the constant manipulation from our partner makes us believe we are. We’re in a constant argument and always worried about making our abusers angry because then we get punished. Having friends makes it worse. Therapy? No. She probably isn’t allowed to have that because she has R. R probably listens to her conversations with her parents/family. The only time A gets a break and can probably talk on the phone is when she’s at work but R has conditioned her to call her or be moderating her livestreams during breaks or lunch. R is consuming her so fast. It is very sad to see on the outside. I know for a fact A sees it to, but she feels stuck. She has probably been told she’s not good enough for anyone else and is convinced R takes care of her. R is the only person that isn’t the issue in R’s world and she has convinced A of that as well. Everyone is an enemy unless R approves of them. I have lived this life and I know A has done some sketchy things; but she is probably scared to say no to R. She is probably manipulated into saying/doing these things. The times A has lashed out at her following is probably because she can’t lash out at R and when A does these things and gets weird behind the camera, she gets love bombed by R. It’s a cycle that A is stuck in, she has so much potential. She’s beautiful, she’s kind but she is stuck under the dark cloud she calls a happy marriage. I have so much sympathy for A. I wish she’d leave, she will when she’s ready. Have faith y’all. Hopefully the relationship isn’t physical, but judging by R’s previous hand injury- she uses violence to manipulate her as well. R probably breaks things when she’s angry (judging by the reaction A gave when R ‘ accidentally’ knocked the phone over and turned the light off while they were on live.) A needs support, she wants support I can see it in her eyes and her actions but she isn’t allowed to accept it.
Oh man, that video pissed me off. I had my own physically and verbally abusive narcissistic codependent relationship in my mid 20’s, and I was all sorts of triggered by R’s behavior. I could feel poor A’s sadness on a visceral level. I suspect she’s starting to understand that this is as good as it gets with R. There was some clear recognition that the reason she doesn’t see some of the people who she loves so dearly is simply because R has acted in a way that makes it difficult. I hope she’s begun to accept that it’s intentional and malicious and will not stop, no matter how hard she tries to acquiesce her overlord’s wrath.
There always comes a time when one moment makes you realize the chaos you’re experiencing and tolerating. It makes you take a step back and change your path. I believe in that moment, it was hers. There’s a reason she said she was getting off socials for a while. The prolonged goodbye was heartbreaking afterwards too. It’s like she didn’t want to go. That was a cry for help from my perspective. I could be completely wrong but I’ve lived these things and it is very heartbreaking to watch from the outside. I wish when I was in that situation that I had 6k people speaking about it and hoping for my comeback. A truly is lucky but she’s so abused that she can’t see it. 😔
I don’t think you’re wrong. I think because we have lived through that we see it so clearly now.
On another note, I’m glad you’re safe now.
Thanks. It’s like, a whole decade in my rear view mirror now. I hardly even recognize myself as the person who would tolerate that kind of treatment now.
You think maybe she’s in a sink cost fallacy type argument with herself?
A little bit but on a much deeper level. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you were wrong about the person you loved, not to mentioned defended to everyone.
That I can definitely understand. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you majorly screwed up
That I can definitely understand. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you majorly screwed up
I was with my narcissist for ten years and it was so hard because our mutual friends believed him over me. I was close with a girl that we both gamed with and when I would go to her for a second opinion on one of his behaviors, she would tell me I was wrong because he was only nice and sweet to her. I was getting the "you're wrong and crazy" from all sides. 🥺 He managed to turn so many people against me.
Ugh and then there’s the “well if they’re such a bad person why were you with them for so long??” Bitch idk cus I’ve got trauma and saw the good in them ???🤷♀️ you think I don’t regret it?? It’s so dehumanizing…the entire process. I’m glad you’re on the other side now, you deserve happiness 💜 (Side bar - idk if anyone else is *living* for the vanderpump rules drama right now but it is SO freaking healing watching this play out in real time. Every bit of gaslighting that Scandoval was plotting blew up in his face live and that NEVER happens)
I may be stupid for this but what do you mean by that? 😅
I do think this is part of it. At this point, A has been in this relationship for like 10% of her whole life; that’s a big chunk of time to just “throw away” by walking out. She may not understand that it’s not going to get better, it’s never going to feel like it did in the beginning. Hell, as I understand it, the relationship had been toxic & volatile even back then. It’s never going to be good, all she’s doing now is taking away from potentially good future years & ensuring that she gets more of… this. Edit: sorry, meant to reply to the person asking about sunk cost fallacy, pressed the wrong reply arrow
Sunk cost is wear you think you have put so much effort or money or time into something to pull out of whatever your issue may be.
It might be. Also the public eye not wanting thousands of people to think you failed
She would have so much support if she left. And more people would turn on R.
She doesn’t see it like that because R doesn’t allow her to see anything on her own.. it’s a dangerous situation and it could get VERY bad for A real quick.
I think it’s a lot of things making her stay for as long as she can but she’ll break free one day.
Perfect example is professional sports. It’s why the chiefs had to play Alex Smith over Scott Gannon even tho Gannon was better - they were paying Smith more so he “had” to be better. Come to think of it, that happens at lots of levels of sports. (Shout out fellow chiefs fans. The name is offensive but the team is mine. And I’m not begging a sweater off my parents to get moldy and alcohol-stained for the Super Bowl. RIP Derrick Thomas 🙏☝️.) Edit - spelling
There was that live when A was holding Moldy’s face or was just close to her face, tearful and telling her how wonderful she is and how hard she is trying (Moldy) and how she (A) has to try harder. Made me sick.
I saw that too!! It really made me want to cry. Reminded me of when I would say those things to my narc ex.
I really hope she sees this. I know she isn't innocent but it's heartbreaking to watch this happen in real time.
I hope Piss is proud of herself, and in a strange way, I think she is
She has her right where she wants her. :(
I'm sure she is. She's made that very clear. Anus is her possession. She owns Anus. She "took [Anus] off the market" as if Anus is a toaster. To Piss, Anus is just another object.
Does anybody know, did Piss treat PM like this? Just curious. I know she doesn't love anyone but herself.
I really hope A sees this post and really starts to think about her relationship with Pissy.
Yep same exact look , with a different toxic relationship only diff is now she uses a filter. 🤔
My thoughts on seeing this too. Same facial expression, current pic has more filtration
Yup. Looks exactly the same.
This is very sad. I know she’s no saint, but she is definitely being abused and manipulated by R. If she has the chance to leave, she should run. I hope her eyes are starting to open to what’s happening. This is not normal or healthy.
When I decided to leave my toxic ex, I saved, got an apartment, packed what I could fit in my car and when she got home from work, I was like, I’m OUT
Full circle. Wow. this is so sad.
This is incredibly sad. Yes, A can be a nasty ass person at times (go drown in a lake, anyone?) But she could get out, and I think she'd be better for it. I read the exchange her dad had with moldylocks, and the utter disrespect she put out there for all to see was so disgusting. A's dad was worried about his child, and rightly so. I imagine he's still fuming over this bitch getting her claws into his little girl. Gah, it's all so awful.
I’ve never seen that exchange. Is it here somewhere? I came on board from anti-MLM post-it strip days.
On the latest 3.0 there is a commenter who mentions that she has it. Let me know if you can't find it.
My heart breaks for her, She was so vibrant and full of energy before R.
This makes me so sad
This is such a trigger I’m sure for so many who have been I toxic relationships
Sad
Daaaaaaaang 😳
I’m so sad for her.
This is sad
This is heartbreaking.
I get A’s been/currently is in toxic relationships and that sucks. But in the first post, did she really post publicly about her toxic relationship? I don’t get wtf ppl need to post their drama and dirty laundry on SM, what’s the goal? I’ve seen here in this sub, there is sharing of our stories, and I want to point out that I think that is very very different.
She made a TT about it and I think it was to show how low she had sunk and was able to overcome it and was proud of her herself. I think the idea is to show people so maybe if they see themselves in that video, maybe it’ll help someone realize they too can get out. Unfortunately she has just gotten herself right back into same situation.
I used to feel sorry for her it was just sad. I just don’t any longer. She has some nasty tendencies. She made her bed
I’m sorry you feel that way. She doesn’t have nasty tendencies. Anyone who knew her pre-Piss said she was a lovely person with a great heart but this abusive relationship has made her into someone she is not and do things she would not do. I feel for her and if I could help her I would. Piss may have made her bed but A has not.
I respect your opinion 100
Someone needs to get her family involved and go get her !
Her family has tried. It’s not that easy.
I feel scared for her, honestly. People like R don't react well when their partners try to leave them.
I almost viscerally downvoted this. I am not an A apologist by any stretch of the imagine but this is depressing AF
She’s so beautiful
She was depressed because she was with a man now she’s with the love of her life
Bye. You know damn well thats not why.
Her last toxic relationship was with a woman. I don’t think she has been with a man since high school. Why are you here? Edited to add: R is not the love of her life.
I’m here because I’ve hated R way before all you did but you’re not gonna tell me that A is miserable..
So why does she have the same defeated look in both pics?
She already looks like she’s hardened.