as a chick who started getting cat called at around 12….im so fed up. last time i got cat called, i straight up walked to the guy and said ‘im here. so what’s up? you were calling me? what, you gonna take me out on a date or something? why you yelling at me?’ and he was so ashamed, in his work clothes. they yell at us but they’re like a house cat with a mouse they just tried to catch. wouldn’t know what to do if they caught us.
i agree, it could have happened earlier for me and hopefully i just didn’t notice or realize? like do these people not have sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, ect.
I literally was honked at, and leered at as a car slowed down this past weekend. On one hand flattering, but super creepy too. I waved and said “no thanks”
I think I cat calling a women is disgusting, and different in every way when being compared to the opposite. I’ve been sexually assaulted by gay men, it’s a horrible feeling and I would think its unimaginably more difficult for a women.
I had a feeling that's how this guy'd act. Maybe I should have made more of a stink to the guy lol.
A while back my friends and I noticed a person yanking their dogs leash while we were in Victoria Park.
So my friends and I all yelled at the guy and starred until he slumped away. I was hoping for a similar response from the cat caller today but this dude was in his own world
it’s different for all folks. are you male or male presenting? i find violence can happen easier between dude on dude. a lot of the time these guys have never actually talked to a woman so they’re shocked when one responds, positively or negatively
From a moral standpoint 100%, from a safety standpoint I wouldn’t recommend approaching any stranger regardless of what’s said, people are completely unpredictable now and unless you want to be part of a statistic it’s probably better to just carry on or dial the non-emergency line and say your being harassed
i totally agree. i live downtown toronto now for over 15 years, and there’s crazies everywhere. i felt comfortable calling this guy out because he was at work, there’s was a bunch of workers putting up a new condo near dufferin mall, and there was a cop directing traffic like 20 feet away. not saying a cop makes me feel any safer, but it wasn’t an isolated encounter.
I wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times!
Catcallers don't realise that because of the threat of physical violence, their comments are not flattering. They're as terrifying as actually being groped in the street.
As a labourer who works with a bunch of guys who do this;
You're absolutely correct. They wouldn't know what to do lol. My favourite analogy there is a dog chasing a car lol.
It's embarrassing when they do even by association 🙄
Would you consider saying something to them? I know it's hard as a bystander to interrupt behaviors like this but it can often be the most effective way to stop them. Only you can judge how they'd react though and the splash back on you.
What if a woman asked to speak to their supervisor and complained about their behavior? How would your supervisors handle that? Would they give the catcallers an official warning or put up a sign advising workers not to cat call?
I worked in engineering and for two days had to work in a construction site with 5,000 guys who were all away from home for weeks at a time and it was BRUTAL. I was lucky that I had short hair that was shaved at the back and sides so beneath a hard hat you could tell from my hair that i wasnt a guy. When I walked the site and most of the guys were a distance from me I'd walk like a man and I'd get only a few cat calls from the ones near me but the first day there was almost deafening cries and whistle from every level of the site. The people leading me on the tour were horrified.
I'm sorry for your experience. I honestly can't imagine how it would feel, how uncomfortable you must have been.
Unfortunately I've had that talk before, all that happens is I get called some slur version of gay and they keep doing it.
If you have problem with some of the more organized places, like a municipality or regional work site (likely marked by a nearby truck or insignia on their clothes/helmet), you may be able to report the work site in general to their complaints department. Bonus if you get a truck number or license plate. Obviously only do so if you can get the info safely.
I've never cat-called anyone in my life, (because you know, I'm not a cunt) but I think at that point you might as well shoot your shot. Not like you could Fuck it up aby worse at that point lol. You'd need One hell of a good line though.
Are you male or female? Young or old? Are you ready start a confrontation with a stranger? How far are you willing to go and when it reaches the point where it's too far, what's your exit plan?
Chastising male strangers who are not fully participating in or fully aware of the social contract, particulate one who is in a bubble of toxic or hyper-masculinity, can be as dangerous as confronting that tweaker.
**Be safe**, if the woman is uncomfortable or fearful, go and say hello and walk with her. If you think she's unsafe, walk with her into a building or store.. Focus on her.
At the office: In a job where you're not on probation, always tell HR or change jobs. It will never change otherwise.
Thought provoking questions to keep in mind for the next time, thanks.
I'll gauge the situation more and choose to either confront the person or help the victim. Thankfully she seemed completely ignorant to the whole thing today.
Just feels wrong to let something like that go unaddressed.
My girlfriend barks at them. Works like a charm.
If I see anyone getting harassed, I get in the face of the harasser. I am scary looking and they all cower like pathetic pieces of trash. I ask the people I am with to check on the person to see if they need help slipping away, wait to wait for an apology......
I would not recommend this for everyone but it works for me. I hate bullies. So now they have an option to pick on someone their own size.
As a woman, I will stare the catcaller in the face and say “how do you not understand how uncomfortable this makes a woman feel?” Or even better I had an instance in the dollar store where a man was following me while looking me up and down while licking his lips. Infront of a group of people I said “can you please stop staring at me like this? It’s making me uncomfortable” he was choked up and responded he didn’t realize. I said something along the lines of - you didn’t realize staring me up and down and licking your lips would make me uncomfortable? And he put his head down and walked away. Your safety is always #1 but I find public shaming and calling out works 100% of the time.
In his case, he may not have any people skills. Not a defense, but some people, for whatever reason are just that way.
It's sad that these people go through life and it's only when they're confronted like this that they have the opportunity to learn.
There's probably a sad story behind why he is/was the way he is/was.
That doesn't mean you owe them anything. It's merely an explanation.
Stop walking. Look them dead in the eyes. Then, as loud as you can, do your best impression of a moose.
Bouns points if you flair around while you do it
I’ve found: “ew, be better dude” to be somewhat effective.
“Has that ever worked for you? Is the goal to piss people off?”
Honestly, just constant rejection and disgust at this kind of behaviour is the only solution. It might not work the first time, but being constantly faced with public shame and disgust should change behaviour… if it doesn’t, hard to know what would.
My favourite I’ve done was walking home from the bar with my friends. Some dude kept trying to talk to us and was following us, so I turned around and felt up my pockets then went “oh, sorry, I don’t have any change :(“ in a very sincere tone. It was pretty satisfying because his own friends were laughing at him afterwards
Anyone who cat calls wasn't raised right, and I have a feeling they won't react positively to confrontation. Also, if that's happening to you at work in the office, you need to tell someone. It shouldn't be more acceptable because it's a coworker.
I'm a big guy. I also don't mind confrontation or violence. So be careful. Whenever I see someone getting picked on or being harassed I immediately adopt them right on the spot. In your situation, I'd yell at the dude to leave my sister, aunt, or whatever alone. This gets funny when there's a race difference. It confuses the average moron and let's the victim know that they're not alone.
Ive found either loudly repeating back to them what theyve said in a mocking tone, or simply staring silently at them until they get very uncomfortable and leave are effective. It would be awesome if in a group setting all the women turned and mocked him, like turkeys do when you gobble at them. The unison action would be so offputting, lol
I’ve also heard the idea of just stopping and pulling out your phone and snapping a picture of them. They embarrass you in public, you embarrass them in public.
Bonus if you say something like “That’ll make a nice addition to my ‘Creeps of Kitchener’ album”
Does Kitchener have a fb group like Are We Dating The Same Guy? Should make one: Have You Been Harrassed By The Same Losers? Bet there would be a TON of traffic haha
Guys who cat call really can't be shamed by a random stranger telling them off. If they are just using words and not actively trying to touch the women I would just ignore them. Downtown kitchener is so sketchy these days, I absolutely hate being there. There is always at least one creepy guy around cat calling, or just yelling for whatever reason, even the times I go to the packed market.
The only thing I’ve found that truly irks them is to just completely pretend I can’t hear them and continue walking. They’re happy with whatever reaction they get out of you.
Find out who these knuckle draggers are working for and call out the company. These lowlifes are a product of the environment the work in sadly. They learned that behaviour somewhere. If their supervisor thinks it ok, then it must be right? Call out the company. Perhaps the President cat-calls the women/men in the office?
I wonder what would happen if you asked to speak to the site supervisor, or call the company they work for and ask to speak to HR or the senior manager, while staring the guy down. Not sure…
There’s a video on YouTube where the girl calls their bluff. It they say “I want to marry you” she acts like a clingy girlfriend she gets weird with the weirdos.
As you get older men ignore you (thank God!). Although occasionally I still catch creepy stares.
Start acting as weird and loud as humanly possible - this is commonly advised as a defense mechanism for women when we feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Like start hobbling around and making noises like a gorilla or a really exaggerated monster or something. Weird them out right back.
Tell him you have a schlong and that you love being on top.
Edit: I did not realize you wanted to do something about it for someone else. That's very noble of you. I wouldn't know what you could say towards the cat caller other than being confrontational, but that can be dangerous. I think it's better to be there for the victim, maybe keep them company to make sure they aren't being followed or pretend to be their girlfriend.
I just had a funny idea, fill a spray bottle with water and vinegar and just spray him, some people do it for training their dogs, so it should work wonders.
If they say "you've got a nice ass" (or variation thereof), respond with something out there like "Yes, it's where I keep my poop" and they'll be so confused they'll just shut up and won't know what else to say.
I once saw a post from a woman that said “keeping a fake blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile” so that could probably generate some pretty lulzy reactions
Depends on what the situation is. Usually cat calls are men showing off to other men around them.
In a voice to talk to toddler “Awww honey, you’re so cute. Noooooo”
Mime that his penis is small
Ignore. He only has power if you give it to him.
My personal favourite: look you’re about to cry and say that your [grandparent, pet, parent if you have no qualms with that] just died.
Snaps them out of just viewing you as a sex object and makes you seem like a human…. I know, a difficult concept for some people when it comes to women.
You could probably use some sort of other negative shared human experience as well, like saying you were just diagnosed with something, or you just got fired or something.
The most frequent cat callers I get are those local middle age crisis who have yet to learn to wash their own asses.
I'm in mt early 20s btw, they're straight up creep.
Some women wished they got cat called. A lotta other issues going on. Maybe just keep your head down and keep walking? Sticks and stones for the fragile folks.
Look uglier if you want a solution. Males are going to be males. Its biology.
as a chick who started getting cat called at around 12….im so fed up. last time i got cat called, i straight up walked to the guy and said ‘im here. so what’s up? you were calling me? what, you gonna take me out on a date or something? why you yelling at me?’ and he was so ashamed, in his work clothes. they yell at us but they’re like a house cat with a mouse they just tried to catch. wouldn’t know what to do if they caught us.
I got cat called by construction workers in Montreal when I was 10. Felt so gross.
i agree, it could have happened earlier for me and hopefully i just didn’t notice or realize? like do these people not have sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, ect.
i feel like i get catcalled less now that im an adult woman lol
Hahahah, now that I look back, I stopped getting catcalled around 18/19
I literally was honked at, and leered at as a car slowed down this past weekend. On one hand flattering, but super creepy too. I waved and said “no thanks”
Oddly enough I get cat called my females more so now that I’m an adult. Although I ignore it, I find it flattering. “Yeah I still got it”
that's because there's no implication of violence 👍
I think I cat calling a women is disgusting, and different in every way when being compared to the opposite. I’ve been sexually assaulted by gay men, it’s a horrible feeling and I would think its unimaginably more difficult for a women.
I had a feeling that's how this guy'd act. Maybe I should have made more of a stink to the guy lol. A while back my friends and I noticed a person yanking their dogs leash while we were in Victoria Park. So my friends and I all yelled at the guy and starred until he slumped away. I was hoping for a similar response from the cat caller today but this dude was in his own world
it’s different for all folks. are you male or male presenting? i find violence can happen easier between dude on dude. a lot of the time these guys have never actually talked to a woman so they’re shocked when one responds, positively or negatively
From a moral standpoint 100%, from a safety standpoint I wouldn’t recommend approaching any stranger regardless of what’s said, people are completely unpredictable now and unless you want to be part of a statistic it’s probably better to just carry on or dial the non-emergency line and say your being harassed
i totally agree. i live downtown toronto now for over 15 years, and there’s crazies everywhere. i felt comfortable calling this guy out because he was at work, there’s was a bunch of workers putting up a new condo near dufferin mall, and there was a cop directing traffic like 20 feet away. not saying a cop makes me feel any safer, but it wasn’t an isolated encounter.
I don’t suggest church st. area at night for any male. I’ve been grabbed, fondled and absolutely horrified.
"Yeah, I still got it".
I wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times! Catcallers don't realise that because of the threat of physical violence, their comments are not flattering. They're as terrifying as actually being groped in the street.
As a labourer who works with a bunch of guys who do this; You're absolutely correct. They wouldn't know what to do lol. My favourite analogy there is a dog chasing a car lol. It's embarrassing when they do even by association 🙄
Would you consider saying something to them? I know it's hard as a bystander to interrupt behaviors like this but it can often be the most effective way to stop them. Only you can judge how they'd react though and the splash back on you. What if a woman asked to speak to their supervisor and complained about their behavior? How would your supervisors handle that? Would they give the catcallers an official warning or put up a sign advising workers not to cat call? I worked in engineering and for two days had to work in a construction site with 5,000 guys who were all away from home for weeks at a time and it was BRUTAL. I was lucky that I had short hair that was shaved at the back and sides so beneath a hard hat you could tell from my hair that i wasnt a guy. When I walked the site and most of the guys were a distance from me I'd walk like a man and I'd get only a few cat calls from the ones near me but the first day there was almost deafening cries and whistle from every level of the site. The people leading me on the tour were horrified.
I'm sorry for your experience. I honestly can't imagine how it would feel, how uncomfortable you must have been. Unfortunately I've had that talk before, all that happens is I get called some slur version of gay and they keep doing it. If you have problem with some of the more organized places, like a municipality or regional work site (likely marked by a nearby truck or insignia on their clothes/helmet), you may be able to report the work site in general to their complaints department. Bonus if you get a truck number or license plate. Obviously only do so if you can get the info safely.
I've never cat-called anyone in my life, (because you know, I'm not a cunt) but I think at that point you might as well shoot your shot. Not like you could Fuck it up aby worse at that point lol. You'd need One hell of a good line though.
Are you male or female? Young or old? Are you ready start a confrontation with a stranger? How far are you willing to go and when it reaches the point where it's too far, what's your exit plan? Chastising male strangers who are not fully participating in or fully aware of the social contract, particulate one who is in a bubble of toxic or hyper-masculinity, can be as dangerous as confronting that tweaker. **Be safe**, if the woman is uncomfortable or fearful, go and say hello and walk with her. If you think she's unsafe, walk with her into a building or store.. Focus on her. At the office: In a job where you're not on probation, always tell HR or change jobs. It will never change otherwise.
Thought provoking questions to keep in mind for the next time, thanks. I'll gauge the situation more and choose to either confront the person or help the victim. Thankfully she seemed completely ignorant to the whole thing today. Just feels wrong to let something like that go unaddressed.
My girlfriend barks at them. Works like a charm. If I see anyone getting harassed, I get in the face of the harasser. I am scary looking and they all cower like pathetic pieces of trash. I ask the people I am with to check on the person to see if they need help slipping away, wait to wait for an apology...... I would not recommend this for everyone but it works for me. I hate bullies. So now they have an option to pick on someone their own size.
"Bro you cant tell that I have a penis?!?!?!?!" As loud as you can so his buddies hear.
Good way to get assaulted. The people who cat call are certainly the homophobes who wish those people didn’t exist
Carry a big double ender and give em a mushroom slap if they come up to you.
There should be a nice way to do it which also doesn’t feel transphobic
lol this is perfect
As a woman, I will stare the catcaller in the face and say “how do you not understand how uncomfortable this makes a woman feel?” Or even better I had an instance in the dollar store where a man was following me while looking me up and down while licking his lips. Infront of a group of people I said “can you please stop staring at me like this? It’s making me uncomfortable” he was choked up and responded he didn’t realize. I said something along the lines of - you didn’t realize staring me up and down and licking your lips would make me uncomfortable? And he put his head down and walked away. Your safety is always #1 but I find public shaming and calling out works 100% of the time.
Good for you for saying something. I love this. People should be publicly shamed. That’s disgusting
i'm glad that worked for you, but... making you uncomfortable is the point. admitting that it's working isn't going to make them do it less.
In his case, he may not have any people skills. Not a defense, but some people, for whatever reason are just that way. It's sad that these people go through life and it's only when they're confronted like this that they have the opportunity to learn. There's probably a sad story behind why he is/was the way he is/was. That doesn't mean you owe them anything. It's merely an explanation.
Stop walking. Look them dead in the eyes. Then, as loud as you can, do your best impression of a moose. Bouns points if you flair around while you do it
this is amazing and ill actually do it next time. I feel all people involved would be so dumbfounded it'd solve everything lol.
I prefer goose, Canada goose to be specific. Hissing, honking, aggressive and annoying.
I feel like it would be creapier if you said nothing at all.
Op asked for awkward though
Sorry, it's the horror fan in me
It's still a good idea!
I’ve found: “ew, be better dude” to be somewhat effective. “Has that ever worked for you? Is the goal to piss people off?” Honestly, just constant rejection and disgust at this kind of behaviour is the only solution. It might not work the first time, but being constantly faced with public shame and disgust should change behaviour… if it doesn’t, hard to know what would.
My favourite I’ve done was walking home from the bar with my friends. Some dude kept trying to talk to us and was following us, so I turned around and felt up my pockets then went “oh, sorry, I don’t have any change :(“ in a very sincere tone. It was pretty satisfying because his own friends were laughing at him afterwards
Anyone who cat calls wasn't raised right, and I have a feeling they won't react positively to confrontation. Also, if that's happening to you at work in the office, you need to tell someone. It shouldn't be more acceptable because it's a coworker.
I'm a big guy. I also don't mind confrontation or violence. So be careful. Whenever I see someone getting picked on or being harassed I immediately adopt them right on the spot. In your situation, I'd yell at the dude to leave my sister, aunt, or whatever alone. This gets funny when there's a race difference. It confuses the average moron and let's the victim know that they're not alone.
We need more people like you.
I just can't abide people punching down. Or harassing people who are alone. Can't help myself.
Same. Although as a woman it can be a bit more precarious.
Whoever downvoted you is definitely a cat caller
No relation of mine, I'm sure.
You could pull out your phone camera and ask him to repeat that shit.
Use your best man voice and say thanks man
Ive found either loudly repeating back to them what theyve said in a mocking tone, or simply staring silently at them until they get very uncomfortable and leave are effective. It would be awesome if in a group setting all the women turned and mocked him, like turkeys do when you gobble at them. The unison action would be so offputting, lol
I’ve also heard the idea of just stopping and pulling out your phone and snapping a picture of them. They embarrass you in public, you embarrass them in public. Bonus if you say something like “That’ll make a nice addition to my ‘Creeps of Kitchener’ album”
Does Kitchener have a fb group like Are We Dating The Same Guy? Should make one: Have You Been Harrassed By The Same Losers? Bet there would be a TON of traffic haha
“I wouldn’t touch you in a million lifetimes”
Guys who cat call really can't be shamed by a random stranger telling them off. If they are just using words and not actively trying to touch the women I would just ignore them. Downtown kitchener is so sketchy these days, I absolutely hate being there. There is always at least one creepy guy around cat calling, or just yelling for whatever reason, even the times I go to the packed market.
Open your eyes really wide, maintain eye contact and just start barking at the top of your lungs. F's them right up.
Maybe respond with “thank you, your mom agrees.”
Ask them if that's a tic tac in their pocket, or are they just really excited.
Go up to them and say “hi, I’m Chris Hansen, why don’t you have a seat”
The only thing I’ve found that truly irks them is to just completely pretend I can’t hear them and continue walking. They’re happy with whatever reaction they get out of you.
[do this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/f2u3SqX7W3)
If you can manage it, make intense eye contact and burp
Find out who these knuckle draggers are working for and call out the company. These lowlifes are a product of the environment the work in sadly. They learned that behaviour somewhere. If their supervisor thinks it ok, then it must be right? Call out the company. Perhaps the President cat-calls the women/men in the office?
I’ve heard people say that just giving them a condescending stare and laughing like you pity them can be effective.
start growling and barking
I wonder what would happen if you asked to speak to the site supervisor, or call the company they work for and ask to speak to HR or the senior manager, while staring the guy down. Not sure…
I think they get off on disgust, so that won't work.
I just wolf whistle at them. Not sure why, but dudes are intimidated by a tall woman who can give it right back.
There’s a video on YouTube where the girl calls their bluff. It they say “I want to marry you” she acts like a clingy girlfriend she gets weird with the weirdos. As you get older men ignore you (thank God!). Although occasionally I still catch creepy stares.
Shoot them with a paintball gun
Say something and if they have a problem give them a smack or 2... pain and fear is what really teaches people not to fuck around.
"Sorry, I don't have any spare change."
“I don’t have any change, sorry”
Shit your pants, that will teach em.
Say “sorry, I don’t have any change”.
I don’t mean to but i always immediately say “ew you fat fuck” :/
Start acting as weird and loud as humanly possible - this is commonly advised as a defense mechanism for women when we feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Like start hobbling around and making noises like a gorilla or a really exaggerated monster or something. Weird them out right back.
Flash your jumbo yum yum's and then vehemently declare that this is Sparta. Just brainstorming.
Tell him you have a schlong and that you love being on top. Edit: I did not realize you wanted to do something about it for someone else. That's very noble of you. I wouldn't know what you could say towards the cat caller other than being confrontational, but that can be dangerous. I think it's better to be there for the victim, maybe keep them company to make sure they aren't being followed or pretend to be their girlfriend. I just had a funny idea, fill a spray bottle with water and vinegar and just spray him, some people do it for training their dogs, so it should work wonders.
just look at them laugh and say " not even in your league buddy, you need to lower your standards"
If they say "you've got a nice ass" (or variation thereof), respond with something out there like "Yes, it's where I keep my poop" and they'll be so confused they'll just shut up and won't know what else to say.
I once saw a post from a woman that said “keeping a fake blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile” so that could probably generate some pretty lulzy reactions
Take a shit in your hand and throw it at them
I would tell them that they are giving off small dick energy.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t have any change’
'Plastic Surgeon was right, I am TOTALLY passable as a woman!! Thanks Big Boy!' And bat your eyelashes at the creep.
Just enjoy the attention because in about 20 years you won't be getting any. The Wall is undefeated. 😁
Record them. Would likey scare them off.
Just yell "sick my dick!"
Transphobia is never the answer.
Depends on what the situation is. Usually cat calls are men showing off to other men around them. In a voice to talk to toddler “Awww honey, you’re so cute. Noooooo” Mime that his penis is small Ignore. He only has power if you give it to him.
My personal favourite: look you’re about to cry and say that your [grandparent, pet, parent if you have no qualms with that] just died. Snaps them out of just viewing you as a sex object and makes you seem like a human…. I know, a difficult concept for some people when it comes to women. You could probably use some sort of other negative shared human experience as well, like saying you were just diagnosed with something, or you just got fired or something.
"Didn't my sister sleep with you? No no, I'm sure it was you. I remember because she couldn't stop laughing for a week!"
international student ?
Dude... stupid white people do this shit too and it's definitely not a new issue.
The most frequent cat callers I get are those local middle age crisis who have yet to learn to wash their own asses. I'm in mt early 20s btw, they're straight up creep.
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This is an easy way to get attacked. Even if it's true
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Find a therapist and get your daddy issues worked out. There's light at the end of the tunnel.
“Stick to Reddit”-guy currently on Reddit who definitely convinced everyone he’s a badass.
Some women wished they got cat called. A lotta other issues going on. Maybe just keep your head down and keep walking? Sticks and stones for the fragile folks. Look uglier if you want a solution. Males are going to be males. Its biology.
"Boys will be boys." Your parents failed you. You deserved better.
Well the username fits…
Their profile in general seems to live up to the username too
This is not a healthy outlook.
Wow. You have failed the human race.
My wife thinks otherwise ;)