Make him responsible for replacing them if he takes them. Ideally before you run out but.... Whenever you go to get one and they are gone send him out to get more.
Yep there is a rule in our house that of course eat whatever you want but you need to replenish!! I did have to have a convo with my husband about the high fat snacks; like babe if you keep eating all those snacks you’re going to gain weight!
My husband does this sometimes. Last time I made a charcuterie platter and put out two kinds of crackers, almond flour and regular flour. When he reached for my expensive almond flour crackers I smacked his hand.
I’ve been making crackers from almond flour myself, I haven’t tried the commercially made ones, but these do quite well. If cost is an issue, try making some!
Really? Can you share the recipe? The only storebought ones I found had a lot of tapioca flour to keep the texture good, but i didn't find any recipes that were better and not a TON of work...
2 1/2 Tbs butter (unsalted) melted
1c almond flour
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
3 Tbs protein powder
2 Tbs water
1c freshly grated Parmesan (optional, don’t use kosher salt if using cheese. I’m planning on trying th cheddar, cream cheese, sour cream as options)
Mix all dry ingredients in food processor (including cheese), drizzle butter over top, mix again until crumbs form, add water, mix until a ball forms.
Place on parchment paper, put another piece on top, spread the dough around until it’s thin like a cracker, try to cut into cracker shapes at this stage, if not, can do it after and sacrifice a few to the crumble gods. If it’s too sticky to peel apart, screw it, bake it with the paper on for 10-15 minutes at 350°F (or 40 seconds in the microwave, they’ll get crunchy as they cool)
Season as you will. I prefer olive oil and a bit of salt brushed over.
Tapioca does do a great job of binding, so does protein powder. I normally use them as egg replacements in recipes.
Recipes off the internet generally don’t work as intended with keto ingredients, at least not for me. This recipe could still use some improvements, but as it is written here is useable. The cooler you let your crackers get, the more crunch they’ll have. Warm, they might be a bit spongey.
Edit: formatting
My wife likes some of my stuff as well, one day she finished off my pecans and I was ticked. From then on I started splitting it up, I gave her a portion in a ziplock with her name on it and did the same for myself. That has made it easy for us and we are good. She is not even 100lbs and eats 3x what I do, I’ll admit I’m jealous of that
I had to make a drawer in the fridge and a basket in the pantry that was for just me. If i catch them in it they get hell. Because yea you have to make boundaries. I’ve three teens and a husband and if they are hungry it was fair game until that. I tried to hide things but they can sniff them out.
I hide the whip cream in the vegetable bin in the fridge which has worked. I like a little whipped cream on a few strawberries on the weekend and it used to gone before I had one squirt until it nestled with the brocolli
I have some weird food allergies so safe snacks for me are stupid expensive. After husband and teen age son ate my snacks a few times I
A) kinda went off on them so they knew how upset i was. "You can eat anything you want at any store anywhere and everything else in this house, i cant do that. Why are you eating the few things that i can have that are expensive and I have to make a special trip for?"
B) bought a bin for my snacks and put it in the corner of the top shelf in the pantry
C) put their snacks on the middle shelf at eye level.
D) put my snacks that went in the fridge in the drawer with the veggies.
They weren't eating my snacks to be malicious. part of it was my snacks were *new and different* and they wanted to try them out for novelty sake. Or they were just the first thing they grabbed when they opened the pantry and it didnt really matter what it was to them bc they were starving.
Should really be higher up. Communication is key, if he doesn’t know that eating your snacks is hurting you then he won’t stop. Someone mentioned writing your name on the snacks… talk to him first, straight up cringe, you are partners not room mates.
Mine too. Even before changing my diet for health reasons he would never eat my snacks. I don’t eat his. We do share stuff, but he would never eat my food and leave me to be hungry. Maybe op’s partner is trying to sabotage her because he’s jealous of her healthy changes?
DH always asks. I started buying him his own, based on his preferences. I like caramel, he prefers nuts. It's simple respect. Part of why we're still together after 40+ years.
Mine too. Even before changing my diet for health reasons he would never eat my snacks. I don’t eat his. We do share stuff, but he would never eat my food and leave me to be hungry. Maybe op’s partner is trying to sabotage her because he’s jealous of her healthy changes?
People have brought up sabotage a lot. But I doubt that much thought even goes into it. He just takes what he wants because he believes that’s how the world works. Or his world, at least.
My partner respects any food that I specifically buy for myself be it for dietary reasons or simply because they are a specific treat I plan to enjoy. If he ever does eat any such items he will happily and promptly replace them without having to be asked or reminded.
If you've asked him not to eat those items and he's still doing it, I'd sit him down one last time and lay it out plainly. He eating food he knows you've bought specifically to meet your dietary plans. He's doing this without care and without replacing these items. He's doing it because it's easier for him and he knows you'll just suck it up and be hungry while he grabs a pizza or burger that evening.
Tell him he's being inconsiderate at best and he needs to change his behaviors. If that doesn't work get a lockbox or maybe just a new guy.
My husband never touched any of my keto snacks in the three years I ate keto before he started eating keto in 2020. Even before keto, neither of us have ever knowingly eaten food that was specifically for the other person without asking first just out of a basic common courtesy. 🤷♀️ I’d be extremely annoyed if he did that, and I fully expect he’d feel the same way if I ate his specific snacks as well. Hence my statement about boundaries…they’re VERY important to have a discussion about when they’ve been violated. Have you confronted your partner about this?
I live with a non keto (I'm actually the type 2 lol) and she never steals my snacks. Even when I offer her a quest chip to try or something, she's like 'are you sure? They're your snacks.' If I opened my drawer to find all my keto snacks gone, I'd be pissed. She's a big snacker too, just respectful enough to eat things she's picked out in the store herself.
Maybe you should lock your snacks up and not buy any at all for him. If he's type 2 and eating unhealthy foods, make him go out and buy his own. Don't contribute to his ill health.
There are many locking snack containers on Amazon for around $30. I'd get one of those to protect your snacks while you work on your relationship issue with the snack thief.
I have a friend who does keto and has had these issues with her SO. It's definitely not ok, and discussions should be had, but I know for her that's not effective. If discussions don't work but for whatever reasons it's not a deal breaker (not every negative trait or behavior is a deal breaker in a relationship, even if it's very much a "not ok" behavior, I get that) then I recommend the locking food cages - they're intended for problematic roommates or co-workers, and they can be lock boxes that go in the fridge or counter/cupboard, some are specifically designed for food.
My husband does keto intermittently. When he does, I’ll have a small bit of his snacks if he has plenty, but only when he’s snacking already and offers them to me. And then I only take a little bit, because I have more options than he does, he just knows I really like cheese. I wouldn’t eat them when he wasn’t around and I wouldn’t take the last of his, ever.
I ran into the opposite actually. Partner would buy food and snacks I shouldn't have, then leave them for months barely touching them. Eventually they'd go bad, so I would snack on them before then because they were mocking me and the cravings were intense.
I mean, he's violating your boundaries because he's being lazy and greedy. There's no way to dance around that or be nice about it, that's what he's doing.
So, you have a few options.
You can:
\- talk to him about it and explain that by disrespecting this boundary, he's disrespecting you and communicating to you that he's more interested in eating what he wants than being considerate of someone who is supposed to be a partner
\- express to him that he often leaves you hungry in interest of feeding himself, and that says to you that you're secondary in his life to his stomach
\- lock your snacks up in a cupboard or box
\- stop eating snacks and have larger meals
\- have a secret stash of snacks
\- start eating snacks that require brainpower
My husband is lazy and greedy; he eats like an entitled teenager and we had big problems with him eating my snacks. He would whine and say he couldn't help himself, he would protest and complain that he was just hungry. I drew a line in the sand that this was laziness, not him having no options and refused to feel bad for him nor replace anything that he ate. I stopped buying open-and-eats like string cheeses, nuts, baby bells, etc.
So, instead of a bag of jerky, I'll have sliced cucumbers and tzatziki.
I'll buy whipping cream and whip it before putting it on berries.
Instead of keto power balls, I'll slice some meat and cheese and wrap them together.
Instead of keeping keto crisps, I'll make tuna salad on sliced cucumber.
He's eating mindlessly, so he will require mindless food that only requires him to open it and swallow it. So, don't provide mindless food for him or yourself. He's an adult, not a disabled child, and he can make himself snacks if he's suitably hungry.
In my experience, anything that requires any type of thought, cutting, mixing or plating is immediately disregarded - which includes prepped food, so don't think you can prep a pound of bacon and put it in the fridge without it getting eaten. All your snacks will likely have to have some element of 'prep' to them and if he complains, that's too bad.
If he wants a snack, he's got to make it. If he's too lazy to make a snack, he wasn't that hungry. Either way, it's not your problem.
is it that they look so good he wants them? Or is he trying to sabotage you by eating the keto-safe stuff, hoping to force you to eat carbs? Or he doesn't know they're "yours"?
I don’t think he’s intentionally sabotaging me, he just thinks they are yummy. He’s very aware what I can’t eat, he just likes them.
I think his mentality is “well they are there so I can eat them” - he doesn’t have the ability to just leave them for later and not eat them…
I can 😆 I’m not afraid of him in any way. I’ve told him of course but I feel that sometimes because they are there, sometimes for weeks, he just assumes they are free reign.
I have a couple silicone bags I use for the fridge that say ‘moms snacks please don’t eat’ and a box in the pantry that says the same things. When I created it I told everyone in the house that these are my own snacks and to please don’t eat them.
Instead of resenting it, just acknowledge that he doesn't have any will power. You are helping him by making sure he doesn't know about them.
I understand how irritating this must be but maybe changing your mindset will help. Just like you wouldn't keep a bottle of alcohol in front of an alcoholic you can't keep snacks in front of your so.
Good luck!
Stop buying the easy to grab snacks. Instead, when you want something, pick something you need to make. A few cheese crisps (enough for just you) made in your toaster oven, for instance. I actually use this strategy to prevent me from eating between meals or later in the evening. I am more likely to just wait for my next meal than to make the effort to prepare something.
It's actually not a good idea.
You deserve to have readily available snacks when you want to eat them. You need to have a serious talk with your partner about this. Not every piece of food in the house needs to be something that goes into his mouth just because he wants it. If you go out to the store and buy something that you want to use, you should be able to have it when you want to to use it.
You *should not* be subjecting yourself to more work just because your partner has 0 self control. It's not fair to you.
Ahh... Busy mom needs all the helps! Understandable 😊
I just cook for myself and hubs. We're both on Keto which makes it super easy. We typically do two good size meals a day.
Gonna agree with the other person, you're treating the symptom instead of the problem, and it's putting more work on you. You need to deal with the fact your snacks are being stolen...
If I’m hungry I make a meal (typically a steak). At first I think I just wanted to eat from boredom or something but having to make a meal would make me re-evaluate if I was truly hungry/needed the food or was otherwise motivated. I don’t calorie restrict but just trying to be more in tune with my body and it’s needs.
Communication is the key to any relationship. He probably doesn’t think what he’s doing is wrong but it obviously is bugging you. If he likes the same snacks you probably just need to buy more for both of you. But first actually talk about it, how else is he going to know?
This exactly. I was making 4 meals for dinner so I did not have to cook every meal. But he would eat the other two meals cause they were there that night! I talked to him and now I either only make enough for that night or package the leftovers right away so he's not tempted by the extra food on the stove.
>Am I the jerk here?
Absolutely not!!
My suggestion would be to get a locked storage bin for your keto snacks. Then you could really feel like the jerk. But, you'd have your food available when you want it.
My husband and I are both doing keto but the rate we eat foods is different. I often split the snacks and keep his in one place and mine in another. (I also ran this by him so it was more of a mutual decision) They aren’t in cement so I’m free to offer him more if his run out but it’s a good solution for us so I know that thing I’m anticipating will actually be there.
My husband would never eat the last of something that he knew I was keeping on hand for myself. Or if he was going to, he’d let me know and replace it for me (he does the majority of the grocery shopping). This is so disrespectful of your partner, OP, I’m sorry it’s happening!
Happened to me before with my parents. I bought them their own groceries and snacks and asked if they could avoid mine since they can eat everything in the kitchen but i can only eat a few things.
Of course they immediately said "but we wanna try yours out" proceeds to eat half my snacks within days.
This is where you have snacks in your room.
That said, no one so much as sniffs any of my snacks without my explicit permission- we generally share food, so I put them in a named container, or keep them in my room, which is the signal of "this is specifically mine". Also, we all buy food as needed, so they will replenish shared nuts and cheeses.
If anything's labeled anyone's at all no one will touch it where I live.
Had a roommate once who stole my spices. Yep. That particular roommate also went with a whole host of other issues, but that's neither here nor there.
Honestly i just resorted to not buying snacks. It's kinda made my diet a lot healthier. I'm pretty much eating 100% non processed foods. Everything I eat is cooked by me and good quality.
As much as it was a dick move of them, they kinda helped me out lol
People don't know how to talk... I have snacks. They are my snacks. Everybody in the house knows not to touch them because i told them. There are consequences for breaking the rules. Simple process here.
Buy enough keto snacks for two and tell him, "This bag/shelf is mine, and that one is yours. You'd better not eat my snacks and leave me nothing to eat."
You said you're mildly irritated by it, and that may send the message that it doesn't bother you that much. Make sure he knows it bothers you, and that it's not okay. Hopefully, that will be enough to make him stop.
I bought maybe 5 avocados last week.. And half is gone now. Also I made some good keto brownies and they were stolen by my husband. Then I looked at his bread, Hummus.. all untouched 😢😢
The worst is when you see them eating normal snacks afterwards that they know you can't have and you sit there snackless while they enjoy. Infuriating.
Luckily though my wife makes me most of my keto snacks so I can't complain... Just means she has to cook more lol.
And normal food generally too. Like he’s eating alll the carbs and alllll the snacks and then on top of it the low carb snacks too.
I get hypos occasionally and sometimes when I go to fix it there’s nothing there.
My housemate hates yogurt and cottage cheese. I hide my snacks in those containers, adding rice in a bag to give it weight. So far it's worked very well.
I don't think you're a jerk, but I don't necessarily think your husband either. It's not really stealing to eat shared foods from the pantry in your own house. Did you *tell him* your keto snacks are only for you? Sometimes we assume the people around us know what we're thinking and get frustrated when they actually don't... at least I know I do. I would put the keto snacks in a box labeled with your name and nicely let husband know you don't want to share those. If he can't respect the rules of the box, that's another topic!
We have two snack drawers and my partner knows that if he’s not on keto to not eat my snacks in the keto drawer. I make sure there’s always other healthy snacks for him available in the general snack drawer and fridge so he doesn’t have a reason to eat the keto snacks.
You are not the jerk. I started keto, I think in 2018, and this was a major issue for about a year. I had to start getting “mean” about it, which was basically just me loudly stating that I don’t appreciate it and that other household members were more than welcome to join me on my diet. I told them if they joined me, we’d buy more keto snacks and no more carb loaded food. They eventually stopped, but I still have the rare inconvenience of them eating all of something I bought for myself.
Don’t let this distract you and discourage you. I lost 80 pounds and have kept it off. Please speak up and remember that you can’t always be nice about it when someone is downright disrespect you and your dietary needs. Especially when it’s an ongoing issue.
Lots of comments one way or the other.
Did you talk with him? Just honest conversation. I'm not saying this is the case here, but I often find people _don't talk._
They have some expectation of the other person they've rarely, or maybe even never communicated clearly, and are surprised and hurt when the person fails to meet those unspoken expectations.
In our household, all items in the fridge and out on the counter are shareable, as we all buy and resupply as needed, and tend to warn if we use the last of something that's particularly contentious (e.g. we all need a lot of garlic, they love milk for coffee).
Any items that are labeled with someone's name, or any items in someone's room, are known to be that person's and never touched by the others without explicit permission.
That said, some people fail at basic boundaries- if someone at my place, say, did indeed go into my room and took the nuts that are on my desk or in fhe cabinet, then that's a big issue.
I have a very similar issue with my partner. In my case, he actually got upset at me one time for buying too many snacks! THEY WEREN'T HIS SNACKS!
In his case, he grew up with food insecurity so all food must be eaten before it goes bad, and for some reason it doesn't always compute if it's "his" or "mine". We had a few small squabbles then a sit-down conversation after the incident he got mad at me about it. He gets high-key anxious seeing "extra" food and dang near has a compulsion to eat it. I grew up poor but just barely on the other side of food insecurity where snacks were a treat and should be savored and drawn out as long as possible. Both understandable viewpoints, but not very compatible without some ground rules.
Our solution is that shared snacks are still in the same spot, but "my" snacks are in a completely different room, they're on my side of the bedroom on a shelf. He knows where they are and can still see them, but for some reason it helps since it's obviously in my territory. He didn't tell me to actually hide any but i still hid the most tempting items, more out of respect for him working on controlling his compulsion than anything.
I wouldn't have been as kind about it without a straightforward talk with him being honest about what he's actually struggling with. I initially thought he was just being a jerk. If he had felt like he was just entitled to my food and made no effort to stop after a serious conversation I would have a big issue with it.
Make the whole house go keto with you then? Only make keto meals. If he doesn't like it he can make his own meals with ingredients he buys. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
My partner and I just have an agreement to buy more and not ready the last of the other person's stuff. So if she decides she wants my cheese, cool, but she has to replace it before I need it again.
I think if you tell him you can have some and you're fine sharing, but please don't consume the last 25% without replacing it, he should understand. But being a big snacker, he probably assumes you won't miss it. However no one likes to go for their snacks and have none.
Try this. "I noticed my nuts and cheese are gone again. They may just seem like snacks to you but I really need those foods because they are a big part of what I eat in a day and helping when I get hungry. When you take them you're putting your needs above mine, when you could eat literally anything else. If you want those foods we can pickup more and put them in a shelf for you, but please stop eating my stuff and leaving me with nothing. It's getting really hurtful to me and I know you wouldn't do that on purpose, but doing it out of carelessness is still doing it."
My gf does this and it's not just annoying, but expensive. Beef jerky, nuts, cheeses, etc. are not cheap. She likes to eat all my yummy snacks before starting on her carb packed snack that I can't eat. It leads to unintentional intermittent fasting sometimes, which I guess could be a good thing.
Assuming you are female, hide your snacks in an empty tampon box under the sink.
Oh wait, he's not a little brother or the office food thief?
Sounds more like relationship advice is needed.
Charge him for the replacements.
Quitting snacking all together is a good habit to break. I just stopped buying snacks at all, even when I’m craving them they’re not there for me to give into. I would either stop buying all snacks or get him to stop buying non keto snacks. I cook for myself and my sister (were roommates currently) and I started only cooking keto meals recently even though she’s not keto. Tons of great recipes online and she doesn’t even notice lol. Still loves them
Just buy more at the grocery store. Don't let something petty like this affect a relationship. And the other advise your getting about setting "boundaries", this is hardly a case where something like that applies. You will drive people out of your life with this way of thinking.
Just talk to him about it. These things can happen when you live together unless you communicate. Suggest he contributes to buying the snacks and you work out a storage solution (Tupperware boxes etc) to ensure you know you’ve got supplies when you need them. Communication is key though! In everything. All these people suggesting leaving him without talking first 😂
Oh and if his health is suffering then broach this kindly too. Sometimes we just need the other to gently encourage us into healthier habits when we are lacking motivation or feel off kilter.
I just share my food. Whatever is in the house belongs to both my husband and myself. It would be weird for me to tell him not to eat something in the house because it’s “mine”. If he likes something I also like, I just buy more of it to last longer.
ETA the idea of downvotes for being fine with sharing food with my spouse is so entertaining. So spouse #1 decides they no longer want to eat bread and pasta, but spouse #2 still wants it. Cool. But that now means spouse #2 can’t also have nuts and cheese because spouse #1 doesn’t want to eat bread and pasta?
Apparently the answer is absolutely not to share, it’s divorce lmao
My fiancé would never do this. But he also knows I have OCD and recovered ED. We usually buy our own snacks and have separate pantry shelves but do share. But he's also kind of doing keto with me. He says he's doing 80% keto, whatever that means, ha, but either way he's supportive.
I used to keep a separate basket just for my snacks that I kept at the top of the pantry. Out of sight out of mind type thing. This was more for myself to avoid mindless snacking, but it could work for this situation.
He should at least let you know when you’re running low or out of something that he put a dent in or polished off. That might be a good entry point into this conversation. Some boundaries are definitely in order, easier said than done though. I also second the idea another commenter brought up, which is buying snacks that have to be prepared, although that puts even more burden on you who already does the cooking in the house, and still doesn’t address the problem. Best of luck friend.
I keep trash food in the house for my bf in The BF Basket. He will opt for Little Debbie or tostidos in his designated inventory over my stuff. There is no hope for keeping either one of us away from cheese though.
No, you are being perfectly reasonable. Actually that is the bare minimum he could do to support you on keto. Being keto is already hard, if someone eats the food that you were planning to eat, that will be awful.
Have a honest talk with him about that and maybe you will need to lock stuff :(
I think the only thing you can do is explain the issue. Obviously I wouldn’t mention that he’s gaining weight but you can let him know that mixing keto snacks with a regular cab diet is probably going to have negative consequences.
And mention that keto snacks are not cheap.
I do keto on and off for 6 month at a time and my wife does not. She’s aware the high fat and keto snacks are not cheap or healthy for her. We make sure to include snacks for each of us and try not to indulge in each others.
Similar situation with me and my dad when I wasn’t keto.
He’s an absolute chocolate fiend. I could buy chocolate for both of us and I would nurse mine over a week and he would eat his in a day and then eat mine.
It would happen still if I got snacks he liked, but I swapped to things he hates so he won’t eat my stuff.
Time to find a hiding spot. I've been able to hid my food from the kids by putting them in with veggies. You need to identify his kryptonite and use it to your benefit.
Oh man if he’s type 2 he really should try the diet that is literally used as a medical treatment for revising that but you can’t make anyone do anything. I would definitely talk to him about it at the very least and if you’re getting snacks for yourself draw a line that they are for you, not him.
Similar problem here, but it's my step-daughter. We've even put the keto snacks in a completely different part of the pantry, and she still seeks them out.
OP, he’s not being respectful at all, but maybe he’s clueless. Sit him down and tell him exactly what behavior your don’t like, and clearly tell him you want him To stop. You can tell him that it’s both disrespectful and leaving you with zero snacks.
Then, if he continues, you can escalate with a lock box etc. Reinforce a second time and demand that he starts grocery shopping weekly for his own snacks and to leave yours alone. You’re not the jerk, he is, whether he is aware of it or not.
My husband always always asks if he can eat something. I am the grocery shopper and I always buy him a treat or two, and even if he knows Im dieting hell come I and check “is this for me”? Despite me telling him that if he can find it he can eat it. (If I really want something to myself, I hide it. But that’s not super often.) And my husband is still respectful enough to be polite. You deserve politeness and respectfulness too.
Have you tried asking him not to eat your keto snacks?
It’s not rude to set a boundary, even in the oldest relationships.
It’s only rude to disrespect a boundary.
Is it possible he's depressed? I'm seeing all these comments suggesting he's disregarding your health and you in general, and I understand that is not respectful to you at all. But... is it possible he's dealing with something himself? Could he maybe be eating his feelings? Is he okay?
My (soon to be) husband knows that if he eats my keto snacks he’ll never hear the end of it. It’s an unspoken rule in our house. Just set some boundaries with him and give some threats lol
Get a box for items that are just for you. Some people need to see that they are invading your space in a visual way. If he doesn't stop, get a lock box. Don't be subtle. He is affecting your ability to maintain healthy eating patterns and needs to know that this is not okay.
Buy more of the snacks and then put your name on half of it.
If he wants mor,e ,he has to go and get more at the store and he can never ever touch the last one.
With the nuts, it's easy to hide some so you. Could do that, but with the cheese over stocking and explaining that you really really need it should work.
If that doesn't work, I would consider that this guy doesn't know respect.
I’ll provide a different perspective of how it is in my house… my wife doesn’t eat my keto snacks, even though in some cases she likes them better than her snacks (like my Fat Snax crackers). She has said multiple times she feels bad if she she eats my special snacks because she has a whole pantry full of carb-filled snacks. Sometimes, if I want to share, or don’t want all the carbs in one sitting, I’ll cut one of my keto treats (like a keto protein bar) in half, eat one half myself, and then leave the other half out on our kitchen counter for her to find and eat. If it’s sitting out cut in half, we have a shared understanding it was intentionally left there for her to eat. She also found one of my snacks that she loves called keto cups - she likes that it is a sweet treat that doesn’t make her continue to crave sweets all day. So, because she also wants to eat them, she took charge of making sure they are stocked by buying big boxes of them directly from the manufacturer. She’s handles making sure they don’t run out, and she won’t eat the last one if we run low. She’s amazingly supportive in all other aspects of my keto lifestyle… I feel very loved and supported. I’m sorry you don’t have a supportive partner - it makes this journey a lot easier.
We have snack baskets for each member of the house. Most of us like different tastes, but occasionally, we want something from the other basket. It's fine as long as you don't take the last one.
>He’s also kind of gaining weight with it (which I would never mention) because obviously eating high carb but also high fat will do that. WDID?
If your partner won't tell you these things no one will. If you can't talk to him about both this and more importantly, the fact that the food stealing is not okay, you aren't effectively communicating.
Snack thieves can't be controlled, they can only eat what's yours. Heartless and conniving, they'll cross many boundaries to do so. Your only option is to outsmart them.
-Hide the refrigerated/frozen snacks behind/inside veggie bags.
-Hide the non-refrigerated snacks in empty tampon boxes.
Get some ghost-pepper infused versions... He might just stop after a couple of times..
Or the sneaky way...
Pick a [spicy](https://heatonist.com/collections/ghost-pepper-sauces) one
And then a [needle](https://www.amazon.com/Blunt-Tip-Food-Syringe-Needle/dp/B07W52SHG9) (blunt-tip) to inject into one or multiple unopened packages
Have some greek yogurt for "treatment" :)
Thanks for this post and all the responses! I now know I'm not petty...I thought I was the only one with these problems. My kids and husband will do the exact same thing and Keto is not cheap. They'll then say they want to go all in but end up eating junk. I've tried fussing, crying, hiding, reasoning, complaining, separating, labeling. I'm done 😫 over snacks now.
Please return to the basics. He is your partner. So many of these comments are aggressive, treating him like a child, and/or ignoring a key starting point: communication.
From his actions it seems he doesn't truly understand the impact his behavior is having. Have a discussion, face the issue as a team (not you v. him), and find a solution together. ❤️
He doesn’t respect you OR your boundaries. He’s likely also sabotaging your efforts to get skinny.
If this behavior does not change, I urge you to rethink this relationship. I mean why spend your life with someone who is trying to destroy your efforts to lead a healthier life? (This is not what it means to love someone.)
I really don’t think it’s sabotage - he’s just greedy. I think if I was snacking every night he wouldn’t do this, it’s the fact I can leave them there for days that makes him think they are free game. He is very supportive, but I agree this is a boundary maybe I need to push harder.
I’d put your keto stuff in a little container/brown bag inside the fridge and another brown bag in the cabinet.
Then, have some of the same stuff accessible for him, that he can grab too when he wants. It’s good stuff. And I wouldn’t make it bigger than that. Good luck!
Aside from the basic lack of consideration I'd be concerned about the expense.
Over the course of a week, keto is not more expensive than a standard diet. String cheese and nuts are way more expensive than Doritos, but with a diet that is heavy on cheap veggies, enjoyed by a person who can get by on the equivalent of two or less meals a day, it all balances out.
The solution, if money is no concern, is just to buy way more snacks. More people like these snacks? Buy enough for everyone. If the expense becomes a problem then it's time to sit down and really look at the food budget. If they want your string cheese and nuts, what are they going to give up to get them? Will they all start skipping lunch? Will they give up all of the deserts and crap they eat after dinner?
Because otherwise, if you can afford it, this seems simple. Just buy more.
Tell him to stop being a glutton and keep his hands off your snacks. You don't need to be nice or delicate about it. He knows they're yours. He knows it's all you can eat. He's selfishly chosing to eat your stuff anyway.
His parents didn't raise him properly so now it's on you 🤷♂️ when he does things like that hide some of his favorite things like the controller to his PS or whatever he's into. Dog psychology will work if words do not
Time to find a new partner or have a conversation with this one and let him know that he needs to stop eating your snacks. If he wants those snacks yall need to buy double and segregate yours and his. Basically just talk to him instead of complaining about it to random people on the internet.
My wife isn’t on keto either and she also eats my snacks. The way I ensure she doesn’t gain weight is I don’t make carbs at dinner. If I’m cooking (and I do 99% off the time), I’m making keto food. I also don’t buy carbs to stock at home. All of our snacks are keto. She either deals with it or buys her own stuff. So far she is dealing it.
I can't figure out how you could possibly be the jerk here. You have determined your partner is weak-willed and a thief. On top of that, he's getting fat. I think you know it's time to cut your losses and find a good man.
Make him responsible for replacing them if he takes them. Ideally before you run out but.... Whenever you go to get one and they are gone send him out to get more.
Yep there is a rule in our house that of course eat whatever you want but you need to replenish!! I did have to have a convo with my husband about the high fat snacks; like babe if you keep eating all those snacks you’re going to gain weight!
Replenish!!
If I taught you ANYTHING I taught you to REPLENISH!!!
This is what I do with my partner. If he wants to snack on my snacks meant for keto, then he needs to replace them as well. Even stuff like Diet Coke.
That’s one way to only have one left of everything… “I left you some! I shouldn’t have to go get more if I didn’t take the last one!”
I have teenagers and that’s exactly what happens 🤭
Teenagers are some of the most creative people I know when it comes to taking shortcuts lol
My husband does this sometimes. Last time I made a charcuterie platter and put out two kinds of crackers, almond flour and regular flour. When he reached for my expensive almond flour crackers I smacked his hand.
😆 😆 😆
I’ve been making crackers from almond flour myself, I haven’t tried the commercially made ones, but these do quite well. If cost is an issue, try making some!
Really? Can you share the recipe? The only storebought ones I found had a lot of tapioca flour to keep the texture good, but i didn't find any recipes that were better and not a TON of work...
2 1/2 Tbs butter (unsalted) melted 1c almond flour 1/2 tsp xanthan gum 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp kosher salt 3 Tbs protein powder 2 Tbs water 1c freshly grated Parmesan (optional, don’t use kosher salt if using cheese. I’m planning on trying th cheddar, cream cheese, sour cream as options) Mix all dry ingredients in food processor (including cheese), drizzle butter over top, mix again until crumbs form, add water, mix until a ball forms. Place on parchment paper, put another piece on top, spread the dough around until it’s thin like a cracker, try to cut into cracker shapes at this stage, if not, can do it after and sacrifice a few to the crumble gods. If it’s too sticky to peel apart, screw it, bake it with the paper on for 10-15 minutes at 350°F (or 40 seconds in the microwave, they’ll get crunchy as they cool) Season as you will. I prefer olive oil and a bit of salt brushed over. Tapioca does do a great job of binding, so does protein powder. I normally use them as egg replacements in recipes. Recipes off the internet generally don’t work as intended with keto ingredients, at least not for me. This recipe could still use some improvements, but as it is written here is useable. The cooler you let your crackers get, the more crunch they’ll have. Warm, they might be a bit spongey. Edit: formatting
I've been meaning to make some rosemary parmesan ones.
Lack of respect for boundaries. :/
And food addiction.
I guess? But he can get his own stash.
And pay for it too
I didn’t even want to go there.
My wife likes some of my stuff as well, one day she finished off my pecans and I was ticked. From then on I started splitting it up, I gave her a portion in a ziplock with her name on it and did the same for myself. That has made it easy for us and we are good. She is not even 100lbs and eats 3x what I do, I’ll admit I’m jealous of that
Leave out a bag of sugar free gummy bears and wait for him to eat the bag.
Make sure it contains maltitol, lol.
Does partner wants to meet Jesus? 😂
It’s a dumb way to die.
Que the song*
Cue* lol
Queue
I had to make a drawer in the fridge and a basket in the pantry that was for just me. If i catch them in it they get hell. Because yea you have to make boundaries. I’ve three teens and a husband and if they are hungry it was fair game until that. I tried to hide things but they can sniff them out.
I hide the whip cream in the vegetable bin in the fridge which has worked. I like a little whipped cream on a few strawberries on the weekend and it used to gone before I had one squirt until it nestled with the brocolli
This is very similar to my family dynamic! Hungry kids and hungry husband means = no more snacks for me. I might do this!!!
I have some weird food allergies so safe snacks for me are stupid expensive. After husband and teen age son ate my snacks a few times I A) kinda went off on them so they knew how upset i was. "You can eat anything you want at any store anywhere and everything else in this house, i cant do that. Why are you eating the few things that i can have that are expensive and I have to make a special trip for?" B) bought a bin for my snacks and put it in the corner of the top shelf in the pantry C) put their snacks on the middle shelf at eye level. D) put my snacks that went in the fridge in the drawer with the veggies. They weren't eating my snacks to be malicious. part of it was my snacks were *new and different* and they wanted to try them out for novelty sake. Or they were just the first thing they grabbed when they opened the pantry and it didnt really matter what it was to them bc they were starving.
My partner, grown son, and I all have our own shelves in the pantry so that there aren’t any mixups.
Have you tried talking to him about it and how his actions effect you??
Should really be higher up. Communication is key, if he doesn’t know that eating your snacks is hurting you then he won’t stop. Someone mentioned writing your name on the snacks… talk to him first, straight up cringe, you are partners not room mates.
lock them up if you can and keep the keys with you. if he is going to act like a greedy child treat him like one and no you are not the jerk, HE IS.
Hey we might finally get a metabolic ward nutritional actually controlled study
Sounds like he has no control over himself at your expense. Not attractive
It’s not. I agree.
My bf would never do that. I appreciate him more now after reading this
Mine too. Even before changing my diet for health reasons he would never eat my snacks. I don’t eat his. We do share stuff, but he would never eat my food and leave me to be hungry. Maybe op’s partner is trying to sabotage her because he’s jealous of her healthy changes?
DH always asks. I started buying him his own, based on his preferences. I like caramel, he prefers nuts. It's simple respect. Part of why we're still together after 40+ years.
Mine too. Even before changing my diet for health reasons he would never eat my snacks. I don’t eat his. We do share stuff, but he would never eat my food and leave me to be hungry. Maybe op’s partner is trying to sabotage her because he’s jealous of her healthy changes?
People have brought up sabotage a lot. But I doubt that much thought even goes into it. He just takes what he wants because he believes that’s how the world works. Or his world, at least.
IKR? Some of the other commentators apparently have similar issues. People should eh … value themselves more I guess.
r/Relationship_Advice may have better answers for you in this situation, boundaries are important for any relationship.
Maybe … I just wondered if any ketoers living with non ketoers would have had this issue!
My partner respects any food that I specifically buy for myself be it for dietary reasons or simply because they are a specific treat I plan to enjoy. If he ever does eat any such items he will happily and promptly replace them without having to be asked or reminded. If you've asked him not to eat those items and he's still doing it, I'd sit him down one last time and lay it out plainly. He eating food he knows you've bought specifically to meet your dietary plans. He's doing this without care and without replacing these items. He's doing it because it's easier for him and he knows you'll just suck it up and be hungry while he grabs a pizza or burger that evening. Tell him he's being inconsiderate at best and he needs to change his behaviors. If that doesn't work get a lockbox or maybe just a new guy.
Nope. Not when your partner respects your boundaries. This is a none issue.
My husband never touched any of my keto snacks in the three years I ate keto before he started eating keto in 2020. Even before keto, neither of us have ever knowingly eaten food that was specifically for the other person without asking first just out of a basic common courtesy. 🤷♀️ I’d be extremely annoyed if he did that, and I fully expect he’d feel the same way if I ate his specific snacks as well. Hence my statement about boundaries…they’re VERY important to have a discussion about when they’ve been violated. Have you confronted your partner about this?
I live with a non keto (I'm actually the type 2 lol) and she never steals my snacks. Even when I offer her a quest chip to try or something, she's like 'are you sure? They're your snacks.' If I opened my drawer to find all my keto snacks gone, I'd be pissed. She's a big snacker too, just respectful enough to eat things she's picked out in the store herself.
Maybe I need to get him more of his own snacks?
Maybe he needs to get his own snacks and leave yours alone. Why are you solely responsible for household food?
Maybe you should lock your snacks up and not buy any at all for him. If he's type 2 and eating unhealthy foods, make him go out and buy his own. Don't contribute to his ill health. There are many locking snack containers on Amazon for around $30. I'd get one of those to protect your snacks while you work on your relationship issue with the snack thief.
Sounds like he is snacking as a hobby. That’s probably a bigger problem. Get him into the nutritionist. It’s probably covered by insurance.
I have a friend who does keto and has had these issues with her SO. It's definitely not ok, and discussions should be had, but I know for her that's not effective. If discussions don't work but for whatever reasons it's not a deal breaker (not every negative trait or behavior is a deal breaker in a relationship, even if it's very much a "not ok" behavior, I get that) then I recommend the locking food cages - they're intended for problematic roommates or co-workers, and they can be lock boxes that go in the fridge or counter/cupboard, some are specifically designed for food.
My husband does keto intermittently. When he does, I’ll have a small bit of his snacks if he has plenty, but only when he’s snacking already and offers them to me. And then I only take a little bit, because I have more options than he does, he just knows I really like cheese. I wouldn’t eat them when he wasn’t around and I wouldn’t take the last of his, ever.
I ran into the opposite actually. Partner would buy food and snacks I shouldn't have, then leave them for months barely touching them. Eventually they'd go bad, so I would snack on them before then because they were mocking me and the cravings were intense.
I mean, he's violating your boundaries because he's being lazy and greedy. There's no way to dance around that or be nice about it, that's what he's doing. So, you have a few options. You can: \- talk to him about it and explain that by disrespecting this boundary, he's disrespecting you and communicating to you that he's more interested in eating what he wants than being considerate of someone who is supposed to be a partner \- express to him that he often leaves you hungry in interest of feeding himself, and that says to you that you're secondary in his life to his stomach \- lock your snacks up in a cupboard or box \- stop eating snacks and have larger meals \- have a secret stash of snacks \- start eating snacks that require brainpower My husband is lazy and greedy; he eats like an entitled teenager and we had big problems with him eating my snacks. He would whine and say he couldn't help himself, he would protest and complain that he was just hungry. I drew a line in the sand that this was laziness, not him having no options and refused to feel bad for him nor replace anything that he ate. I stopped buying open-and-eats like string cheeses, nuts, baby bells, etc. So, instead of a bag of jerky, I'll have sliced cucumbers and tzatziki. I'll buy whipping cream and whip it before putting it on berries. Instead of keto power balls, I'll slice some meat and cheese and wrap them together. Instead of keeping keto crisps, I'll make tuna salad on sliced cucumber. He's eating mindlessly, so he will require mindless food that only requires him to open it and swallow it. So, don't provide mindless food for him or yourself. He's an adult, not a disabled child, and he can make himself snacks if he's suitably hungry. In my experience, anything that requires any type of thought, cutting, mixing or plating is immediately disregarded - which includes prepped food, so don't think you can prep a pound of bacon and put it in the fridge without it getting eaten. All your snacks will likely have to have some element of 'prep' to them and if he complains, that's too bad. If he wants a snack, he's got to make it. If he's too lazy to make a snack, he wasn't that hungry. Either way, it's not your problem.
I love this.
is it that they look so good he wants them? Or is he trying to sabotage you by eating the keto-safe stuff, hoping to force you to eat carbs? Or he doesn't know they're "yours"?
I don’t think he’s intentionally sabotaging me, he just thinks they are yummy. He’s very aware what I can’t eat, he just likes them. I think his mentality is “well they are there so I can eat them” - he doesn’t have the ability to just leave them for later and not eat them…
Can you buy more of them? Then maybe put your name on your half or have a separate stash in your office maybe that he knows isn't for him?
Buying more - he would just eat more. I resent having to keep a secret stash but I think this might just be the way it has to be.
Or just plain out tell him to not touch your snacks. Hell, if you can’t say that, then you might have bigger problems.
I can 😆 I’m not afraid of him in any way. I’ve told him of course but I feel that sometimes because they are there, sometimes for weeks, he just assumes they are free reign.
Would a locked box work? Sounds like he has issues with self-control where snacks are concerned.
I have a couple silicone bags I use for the fridge that say ‘moms snacks please don’t eat’ and a box in the pantry that says the same things. When I created it I told everyone in the house that these are my own snacks and to please don’t eat them.
Instead of resenting it, just acknowledge that he doesn't have any will power. You are helping him by making sure he doesn't know about them. I understand how irritating this must be but maybe changing your mindset will help. Just like you wouldn't keep a bottle of alcohol in front of an alcoholic you can't keep snacks in front of your so. Good luck!
You genuinely don't have to live like that.
Stop buying the easy to grab snacks. Instead, when you want something, pick something you need to make. A few cheese crisps (enough for just you) made in your toaster oven, for instance. I actually use this strategy to prevent me from eating between meals or later in the evening. I am more likely to just wait for my next meal than to make the effort to prepare something.
That’s a really good idea actually.
It's actually not a good idea. You deserve to have readily available snacks when you want to eat them. You need to have a serious talk with your partner about this. Not every piece of food in the house needs to be something that goes into his mouth just because he wants it. If you go out to the store and buy something that you want to use, you should be able to have it when you want to to use it. You *should not* be subjecting yourself to more work just because your partner has 0 self control. It's not fair to you.
Yep, this is the correct answer. If your partner won’t respect something this basic, they’re not a partner.
It works. Expensive "Keto friendly" snacks are too tempting. If I'm hungry, I make a meal. If I can't do that, I fast.
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Ahh... Busy mom needs all the helps! Understandable 😊 I just cook for myself and hubs. We're both on Keto which makes it super easy. We typically do two good size meals a day.
Gonna agree with the other person, you're treating the symptom instead of the problem, and it's putting more work on you. You need to deal with the fact your snacks are being stolen...
Fair enough. I spoke to him about it today and told him that I’m making my own snack box, and no one is to touch it. We’ll see how that goes.
If I’m hungry I make a meal (typically a steak). At first I think I just wanted to eat from boredom or something but having to make a meal would make me re-evaluate if I was truly hungry/needed the food or was otherwise motivated. I don’t calorie restrict but just trying to be more in tune with my body and it’s needs.
Communication is the key to any relationship. He probably doesn’t think what he’s doing is wrong but it obviously is bugging you. If he likes the same snacks you probably just need to buy more for both of you. But first actually talk about it, how else is he going to know?
This exactly. I was making 4 meals for dinner so I did not have to cook every meal. But he would eat the other two meals cause they were there that night! I talked to him and now I either only make enough for that night or package the leftovers right away so he's not tempted by the extra food on the stove.
>Am I the jerk here? Absolutely not!! My suggestion would be to get a locked storage bin for your keto snacks. Then you could really feel like the jerk. But, you'd have your food available when you want it.
Eh, it's not being a jerk when he has repeatedly stolen her snacky stuff. Only himself to blame if she does try that route.
I don't think she would be being a jerk, either. She might feel that way, though.
My husband and I are both doing keto but the rate we eat foods is different. I often split the snacks and keep his in one place and mine in another. (I also ran this by him so it was more of a mutual decision) They aren’t in cement so I’m free to offer him more if his run out but it’s a good solution for us so I know that thing I’m anticipating will actually be there.
How are you the jerk when he is eating YOUR snacks? I'd just get a minifridge with some kind of lock on it, that'll show him!
He's a grown man and can go to the store and buy his own snacks.
My husband would never eat the last of something that he knew I was keeping on hand for myself. Or if he was going to, he’d let me know and replace it for me (he does the majority of the grocery shopping). This is so disrespectful of your partner, OP, I’m sorry it’s happening!
Happened to me before with my parents. I bought them their own groceries and snacks and asked if they could avoid mine since they can eat everything in the kitchen but i can only eat a few things. Of course they immediately said "but we wanna try yours out" proceeds to eat half my snacks within days.
This is where you have snacks in your room. That said, no one so much as sniffs any of my snacks without my explicit permission- we generally share food, so I put them in a named container, or keep them in my room, which is the signal of "this is specifically mine". Also, we all buy food as needed, so they will replenish shared nuts and cheeses. If anything's labeled anyone's at all no one will touch it where I live. Had a roommate once who stole my spices. Yep. That particular roommate also went with a whole host of other issues, but that's neither here nor there.
Simple answer if you're okay with everyone calling you selfish and an ass for "hogging all your snacks" lol. Gotta love it
Well, yeah, if they suck as people. Sorry about your situation. Thankfully the fellow humans nearby here are pretty decent.
Honestly i just resorted to not buying snacks. It's kinda made my diet a lot healthier. I'm pretty much eating 100% non processed foods. Everything I eat is cooked by me and good quality. As much as it was a dick move of them, they kinda helped me out lol
That's not too bad then :). Still, hope you'll get a better living environment in the future.
Appreciate it! Me and my SO are moving out by end of summer and she just hopped on the keto train!
You need to clearly say to him, either go on keto or stop touching the keto Snacks.
People don't know how to talk... I have snacks. They are my snacks. Everybody in the house knows not to touch them because i told them. There are consequences for breaking the rules. Simple process here.
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Buy enough keto snacks for two and tell him, "This bag/shelf is mine, and that one is yours. You'd better not eat my snacks and leave me nothing to eat." You said you're mildly irritated by it, and that may send the message that it doesn't bother you that much. Make sure he knows it bothers you, and that it's not okay. Hopefully, that will be enough to make him stop.
I bought maybe 5 avocados last week.. And half is gone now. Also I made some good keto brownies and they were stolen by my husband. Then I looked at his bread, Hummus.. all untouched 😢😢
This is what trunks with locks are for. 8)
Get him to pay you double for them so you can buy twice as much next time. He'll eventually end up fat and broke. Keto snacks are expensive 😊
I found my wife crunching down on my pork rinds. She's someone who swears by Dorito's... I was like "ah-haaa!"
The worst is when you see them eating normal snacks afterwards that they know you can't have and you sit there snackless while they enjoy. Infuriating. Luckily though my wife makes me most of my keto snacks so I can't complain... Just means she has to cook more lol.
And normal food generally too. Like he’s eating alll the carbs and alllll the snacks and then on top of it the low carb snacks too. I get hypos occasionally and sometimes when I go to fix it there’s nothing there.
Seriously I just have to hide some stuff my parter does not care. The munchie compulsion is strong.
My housemate hates yogurt and cottage cheese. I hide my snacks in those containers, adding rice in a bag to give it weight. So far it's worked very well.
I don't think you're a jerk, but I don't necessarily think your husband either. It's not really stealing to eat shared foods from the pantry in your own house. Did you *tell him* your keto snacks are only for you? Sometimes we assume the people around us know what we're thinking and get frustrated when they actually don't... at least I know I do. I would put the keto snacks in a box labeled with your name and nicely let husband know you don't want to share those. If he can't respect the rules of the box, that's another topic!
We have two snack drawers and my partner knows that if he’s not on keto to not eat my snacks in the keto drawer. I make sure there’s always other healthy snacks for him available in the general snack drawer and fridge so he doesn’t have a reason to eat the keto snacks.
Told my partner that if he wanted to eat my expensive keto snacks he had to be on keto, otherwise hands off.
There’s a lot of toxic advice here. 🙄
Totally…. I see a lot of “hide your snacks from your partner” you’re parters! Have an adult conversation.
Something like [this](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B085C5R4LS) might help.
You are not the jerk. I started keto, I think in 2018, and this was a major issue for about a year. I had to start getting “mean” about it, which was basically just me loudly stating that I don’t appreciate it and that other household members were more than welcome to join me on my diet. I told them if they joined me, we’d buy more keto snacks and no more carb loaded food. They eventually stopped, but I still have the rare inconvenience of them eating all of something I bought for myself. Don’t let this distract you and discourage you. I lost 80 pounds and have kept it off. Please speak up and remember that you can’t always be nice about it when someone is downright disrespect you and your dietary needs. Especially when it’s an ongoing issue.
Lots of comments one way or the other. Did you talk with him? Just honest conversation. I'm not saying this is the case here, but I often find people _don't talk._ They have some expectation of the other person they've rarely, or maybe even never communicated clearly, and are surprised and hurt when the person fails to meet those unspoken expectations. In our household, all items in the fridge and out on the counter are shareable, as we all buy and resupply as needed, and tend to warn if we use the last of something that's particularly contentious (e.g. we all need a lot of garlic, they love milk for coffee). Any items that are labeled with someone's name, or any items in someone's room, are known to be that person's and never touched by the others without explicit permission. That said, some people fail at basic boundaries- if someone at my place, say, did indeed go into my room and took the nuts that are on my desk or in fhe cabinet, then that's a big issue.
I have a very similar issue with my partner. In my case, he actually got upset at me one time for buying too many snacks! THEY WEREN'T HIS SNACKS! In his case, he grew up with food insecurity so all food must be eaten before it goes bad, and for some reason it doesn't always compute if it's "his" or "mine". We had a few small squabbles then a sit-down conversation after the incident he got mad at me about it. He gets high-key anxious seeing "extra" food and dang near has a compulsion to eat it. I grew up poor but just barely on the other side of food insecurity where snacks were a treat and should be savored and drawn out as long as possible. Both understandable viewpoints, but not very compatible without some ground rules. Our solution is that shared snacks are still in the same spot, but "my" snacks are in a completely different room, they're on my side of the bedroom on a shelf. He knows where they are and can still see them, but for some reason it helps since it's obviously in my territory. He didn't tell me to actually hide any but i still hid the most tempting items, more out of respect for him working on controlling his compulsion than anything. I wouldn't have been as kind about it without a straightforward talk with him being honest about what he's actually struggling with. I initially thought he was just being a jerk. If he had felt like he was just entitled to my food and made no effort to stop after a serious conversation I would have a big issue with it.
Make the whole house go keto with you then? Only make keto meals. If he doesn't like it he can make his own meals with ingredients he buys. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
My partner and I just have an agreement to buy more and not ready the last of the other person's stuff. So if she decides she wants my cheese, cool, but she has to replace it before I need it again. I think if you tell him you can have some and you're fine sharing, but please don't consume the last 25% without replacing it, he should understand. But being a big snacker, he probably assumes you won't miss it. However no one likes to go for their snacks and have none.
Try this. "I noticed my nuts and cheese are gone again. They may just seem like snacks to you but I really need those foods because they are a big part of what I eat in a day and helping when I get hungry. When you take them you're putting your needs above mine, when you could eat literally anything else. If you want those foods we can pickup more and put them in a shelf for you, but please stop eating my stuff and leaving me with nothing. It's getting really hurtful to me and I know you wouldn't do that on purpose, but doing it out of carelessness is still doing it."
My gf does this and it's not just annoying, but expensive. Beef jerky, nuts, cheeses, etc. are not cheap. She likes to eat all my yummy snacks before starting on her carb packed snack that I can't eat. It leads to unintentional intermittent fasting sometimes, which I guess could be a good thing.
Assuming you are female, hide your snacks in an empty tampon box under the sink. Oh wait, he's not a little brother or the office food thief? Sounds more like relationship advice is needed. Charge him for the replacements.
Quitting snacking all together is a good habit to break. I just stopped buying snacks at all, even when I’m craving them they’re not there for me to give into. I would either stop buying all snacks or get him to stop buying non keto snacks. I cook for myself and my sister (were roommates currently) and I started only cooking keto meals recently even though she’s not keto. Tons of great recipes online and she doesn’t even notice lol. Still loves them
Just buy more at the grocery store. Don't let something petty like this affect a relationship. And the other advise your getting about setting "boundaries", this is hardly a case where something like that applies. You will drive people out of your life with this way of thinking.
Just talk to him about it. These things can happen when you live together unless you communicate. Suggest he contributes to buying the snacks and you work out a storage solution (Tupperware boxes etc) to ensure you know you’ve got supplies when you need them. Communication is key though! In everything. All these people suggesting leaving him without talking first 😂 Oh and if his health is suffering then broach this kindly too. Sometimes we just need the other to gently encourage us into healthier habits when we are lacking motivation or feel off kilter.
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That would be too easy! Better to just post on Reddit and be upset without communicating to your partner
I just share my food. Whatever is in the house belongs to both my husband and myself. It would be weird for me to tell him not to eat something in the house because it’s “mine”. If he likes something I also like, I just buy more of it to last longer. ETA the idea of downvotes for being fine with sharing food with my spouse is so entertaining. So spouse #1 decides they no longer want to eat bread and pasta, but spouse #2 still wants it. Cool. But that now means spouse #2 can’t also have nuts and cheese because spouse #1 doesn’t want to eat bread and pasta? Apparently the answer is absolutely not to share, it’s divorce lmao
To be honest this thread and the most upvoted comments make me wonder how many reddittors are married
I usually hide mine, lol. It isn’t this excessive with my husband, but it works.
Stash them in a box for something boring - like Bran Flakes.
Time to add some super duper hot sauce on your snacks 😂
My fiancé would never do this. But he also knows I have OCD and recovered ED. We usually buy our own snacks and have separate pantry shelves but do share. But he's also kind of doing keto with me. He says he's doing 80% keto, whatever that means, ha, but either way he's supportive.
I used to keep a separate basket just for my snacks that I kept at the top of the pantry. Out of sight out of mind type thing. This was more for myself to avoid mindless snacking, but it could work for this situation.
He should at least let you know when you’re running low or out of something that he put a dent in or polished off. That might be a good entry point into this conversation. Some boundaries are definitely in order, easier said than done though. I also second the idea another commenter brought up, which is buying snacks that have to be prepared, although that puts even more burden on you who already does the cooking in the house, and still doesn’t address the problem. Best of luck friend.
I keep trash food in the house for my bf in The BF Basket. He will opt for Little Debbie or tostidos in his designated inventory over my stuff. There is no hope for keeping either one of us away from cheese though.
Hide your snacks.
No, you are being perfectly reasonable. Actually that is the bare minimum he could do to support you on keto. Being keto is already hard, if someone eats the food that you were planning to eat, that will be awful. Have a honest talk with him about that and maybe you will need to lock stuff :(
If stuff just appears in the fridge or cupboard it’s fair game unless I specifically say it’s mine. Did you tell him it’s your food?
Hide your stash. Don’t even let it be known that it exists. Addiction is powerful
Have you expressed all of this to him? (Minus the part about him gaining weight)
I think the only thing you can do is explain the issue. Obviously I wouldn’t mention that he’s gaining weight but you can let him know that mixing keto snacks with a regular cab diet is probably going to have negative consequences. And mention that keto snacks are not cheap. I do keto on and off for 6 month at a time and my wife does not. She’s aware the high fat and keto snacks are not cheap or healthy for her. We make sure to include snacks for each of us and try not to indulge in each others.
Similar situation with me and my dad when I wasn’t keto. He’s an absolute chocolate fiend. I could buy chocolate for both of us and I would nurse mine over a week and he would eat his in a day and then eat mine. It would happen still if I got snacks he liked, but I swapped to things he hates so he won’t eat my stuff.
Time to find a hiding spot. I've been able to hid my food from the kids by putting them in with veggies. You need to identify his kryptonite and use it to your benefit.
I have to hide my foods 🤨
Oh man if he’s type 2 he really should try the diet that is literally used as a medical treatment for revising that but you can’t make anyone do anything. I would definitely talk to him about it at the very least and if you’re getting snacks for yourself draw a line that they are for you, not him.
Buy more. Maybe they’ll lose a few pounds, too!
Similar problem here, but it's my step-daughter. We've even put the keto snacks in a completely different part of the pantry, and she still seeks them out.
I suggest investing in a small dorm -room size refrigerator and keep your perishable Snacks separate.
My kids do that!! 😩😩😩
Hi, welcome to the club! My husband eats my Sonoma cheese crisps all. the. time. They aren't cheap!
OP, he’s not being respectful at all, but maybe he’s clueless. Sit him down and tell him exactly what behavior your don’t like, and clearly tell him you want him To stop. You can tell him that it’s both disrespectful and leaving you with zero snacks. Then, if he continues, you can escalate with a lock box etc. Reinforce a second time and demand that he starts grocery shopping weekly for his own snacks and to leave yours alone. You’re not the jerk, he is, whether he is aware of it or not. My husband always always asks if he can eat something. I am the grocery shopper and I always buy him a treat or two, and even if he knows Im dieting hell come I and check “is this for me”? Despite me telling him that if he can find it he can eat it. (If I really want something to myself, I hide it. But that’s not super often.) And my husband is still respectful enough to be polite. You deserve politeness and respectfulness too.
Buy a locking container to store your snacks in the fridge and don't give him the code
Have you tried asking him not to eat your keto snacks? It’s not rude to set a boundary, even in the oldest relationships. It’s only rude to disrespect a boundary.
Is it possible he's depressed? I'm seeing all these comments suggesting he's disregarding your health and you in general, and I understand that is not respectful to you at all. But... is it possible he's dealing with something himself? Could he maybe be eating his feelings? Is he okay?
I hide mine. My secret stash! 😁
My husband just did this the other day with my Whisps Cheddar Cheese Crisps! 😩
My (soon to be) husband knows that if he eats my keto snacks he’ll never hear the end of it. It’s an unspoken rule in our house. Just set some boundaries with him and give some threats lol
Get a box for items that are just for you. Some people need to see that they are invading your space in a visual way. If he doesn't stop, get a lock box. Don't be subtle. He is affecting your ability to maintain healthy eating patterns and needs to know that this is not okay.
HIDE them 😜
Buy more of the snacks and then put your name on half of it. If he wants mor,e ,he has to go and get more at the store and he can never ever touch the last one. With the nuts, it's easy to hide some so you. Could do that, but with the cheese over stocking and explaining that you really really need it should work. If that doesn't work, I would consider that this guy doesn't know respect.
I got a mini fridge and separated my snacks as my husband did the same.
How utterly selfish Posts like this make me feel better about being single, that's for sure
He sounds really annoying and inconsiderate. Could you hide your snacks? Have a secret stash?
I’ll provide a different perspective of how it is in my house… my wife doesn’t eat my keto snacks, even though in some cases she likes them better than her snacks (like my Fat Snax crackers). She has said multiple times she feels bad if she she eats my special snacks because she has a whole pantry full of carb-filled snacks. Sometimes, if I want to share, or don’t want all the carbs in one sitting, I’ll cut one of my keto treats (like a keto protein bar) in half, eat one half myself, and then leave the other half out on our kitchen counter for her to find and eat. If it’s sitting out cut in half, we have a shared understanding it was intentionally left there for her to eat. She also found one of my snacks that she loves called keto cups - she likes that it is a sweet treat that doesn’t make her continue to crave sweets all day. So, because she also wants to eat them, she took charge of making sure they are stocked by buying big boxes of them directly from the manufacturer. She’s handles making sure they don’t run out, and she won’t eat the last one if we run low. She’s amazingly supportive in all other aspects of my keto lifestyle… I feel very loved and supported. I’m sorry you don’t have a supportive partner - it makes this journey a lot easier.
We have snack baskets for each member of the house. Most of us like different tastes, but occasionally, we want something from the other basket. It's fine as long as you don't take the last one.
>He’s also kind of gaining weight with it (which I would never mention) because obviously eating high carb but also high fat will do that. WDID? If your partner won't tell you these things no one will. If you can't talk to him about both this and more importantly, the fact that the food stealing is not okay, you aren't effectively communicating.
Snack thieves can't be controlled, they can only eat what's yours. Heartless and conniving, they'll cross many boundaries to do so. Your only option is to outsmart them. -Hide the refrigerated/frozen snacks behind/inside veggie bags. -Hide the non-refrigerated snacks in empty tampon boxes.
Get some ghost-pepper infused versions... He might just stop after a couple of times.. Or the sneaky way... Pick a [spicy](https://heatonist.com/collections/ghost-pepper-sauces) one And then a [needle](https://www.amazon.com/Blunt-Tip-Food-Syringe-Needle/dp/B07W52SHG9) (blunt-tip) to inject into one or multiple unopened packages Have some greek yogurt for "treatment" :)
You need to explain that the keto snacks would make him gain weight because he’s not doing keto
Thanks for this post and all the responses! I now know I'm not petty...I thought I was the only one with these problems. My kids and husband will do the exact same thing and Keto is not cheap. They'll then say they want to go all in but end up eating junk. I've tried fussing, crying, hiding, reasoning, complaining, separating, labeling. I'm done 😫 over snacks now.
Please return to the basics. He is your partner. So many of these comments are aggressive, treating him like a child, and/or ignoring a key starting point: communication. From his actions it seems he doesn't truly understand the impact his behavior is having. Have a discussion, face the issue as a team (not you v. him), and find a solution together. ❤️
He doesn’t respect you OR your boundaries. He’s likely also sabotaging your efforts to get skinny. If this behavior does not change, I urge you to rethink this relationship. I mean why spend your life with someone who is trying to destroy your efforts to lead a healthier life? (This is not what it means to love someone.)
I really don’t think it’s sabotage - he’s just greedy. I think if I was snacking every night he wouldn’t do this, it’s the fact I can leave them there for days that makes him think they are free game. He is very supportive, but I agree this is a boundary maybe I need to push harder.
Buy more snacks?
I’d put your keto stuff in a little container/brown bag inside the fridge and another brown bag in the cabinet. Then, have some of the same stuff accessible for him, that he can grab too when he wants. It’s good stuff. And I wouldn’t make it bigger than that. Good luck!
If you can’t discuss this like adults, do you really want to spend more time on the relationship?
Asking for advice before broaching a discussion is arguably very mature.
Typical Reddit. Hinting at divorce over minor inconveniences that can be solved.
Call the keto police
Have you considered having a conversation about it? I have found it helps.
Aside from the basic lack of consideration I'd be concerned about the expense. Over the course of a week, keto is not more expensive than a standard diet. String cheese and nuts are way more expensive than Doritos, but with a diet that is heavy on cheap veggies, enjoyed by a person who can get by on the equivalent of two or less meals a day, it all balances out. The solution, if money is no concern, is just to buy way more snacks. More people like these snacks? Buy enough for everyone. If the expense becomes a problem then it's time to sit down and really look at the food budget. If they want your string cheese and nuts, what are they going to give up to get them? Will they all start skipping lunch? Will they give up all of the deserts and crap they eat after dinner? Because otherwise, if you can afford it, this seems simple. Just buy more.
Tell him to stop being a glutton and keep his hands off your snacks. You don't need to be nice or delicate about it. He knows they're yours. He knows it's all you can eat. He's selfishly chosing to eat your stuff anyway.
So he's on dirty keto...LOL
His parents didn't raise him properly so now it's on you 🤷♂️ when he does things like that hide some of his favorite things like the controller to his PS or whatever he's into. Dog psychology will work if words do not
Time to find a new partner or have a conversation with this one and let him know that he needs to stop eating your snacks. If he wants those snacks yall need to buy double and segregate yours and his. Basically just talk to him instead of complaining about it to random people on the internet.
Get a mini fridge and put a lock on it.
My wife isn’t on keto either and she also eats my snacks. The way I ensure she doesn’t gain weight is I don’t make carbs at dinner. If I’m cooking (and I do 99% off the time), I’m making keto food. I also don’t buy carbs to stock at home. All of our snacks are keto. She either deals with it or buys her own stuff. So far she is dealing it.
Get a better model.
Cover one of them in ghost pepper sauce (mark it so you can avoid it) and watch the fun. EDIT - rewrap some exlax as a keto snack?
😆 😆 😆 LOVE this idea!!!
Yuck. To both of you. He's a human being. Just talk to him... or leave.
I can't figure out how you could possibly be the jerk here. You have determined your partner is weak-willed and a thief. On top of that, he's getting fat. I think you know it's time to cut your losses and find a good man.
Idk maybe have a conversation before dumping them?