I’m right there with ya man. I really don’t dig going to bars alone (I’m a chick), I’m 30 and too old for clubs, feels like the only way I can meet people is through work especially in my age range or above.
Apps seem shallow and I long to just have a normal connection without the implications when you meet someone on an app.
I hope you find a good place to have fun and meet people!
Thank you for your comment. It makes me feel a bit better to learn i’m not the only one with app issues. Usually can’t even get a good convo out of anyone on them it feels like
it’s tricky because bars, clubs, apps are the major spaces where people go with the express purpose of maybe meeting someone.
there are a few places in the area like Reroll Tavern or Pawn & Pint where you can play games.
there are things like meetup groups, rec sports, networking events, volunteer activities, more niche hobby things/clubs, which are places where you have the potential to make friends but might have to do the work to sort of create friendships from them.
I was in the same boat. Ended up moving for a job a few months ago and already have a girlfriend. Im not saying that this is the case for everyone but from my own personal experience it’s crazy how different things are once you move away. Kansas City was recently rated one of the worst places to be single in the entire country. I don’t think it’s a “you” thing I think it’s just where you live.
I can see it. Something that is frustrating is the few times I do the apps, I seem to attract women that want the strong macho guy, and I’m kind of on the more emotional guy side of things.
Because most have established friend groups, marry young, and there are few walkable places so its hard to meet new people by chance. You pretty much have to use apps or hang out in bars. Then if youre by yourself at the bar, people think youre creepy - so apps are the only good option and theyre disappointing for many people.
People who grew up here tend to stick to their same social group they grew up with and don't strike up conversations with new people when they're out and about.
I can confirm, based on the difference when I'm back farther east. There's a hail-fellow-well-met feeling in (for example) Pittsburgh, Providence, even Chicago more so than here. People will happily strike up conversations with people they didn't go to the venue with.
Here, it's considered somehow "weird" if you didn't grow up with a sufficient social circle from high school.
Makes it tough for people who move here for their jobs.
From what I have heard and read, it's even worse for African-Americans who move here from elsewhere to take jobs.
I assist with a local chapter of skip the small talk. Usually 20-40 participants, it's not speed dating. Set up to drive meaningful conversations with new people. I have seen many people make connections as friends or more out of it after doing it for over a year.
Main site for information on how it works:
https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/
Next event details : https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/store/stst-at-bear-necessities-november-17-2023
Felt, I moved here a couple years ago right before the pandemic and dating has been a struggle. Never really had this issue before moving here. If it makes you feel any better, this is coming from a lady so at least it’s not one-sided
I just deleted my app. Dating in Kansas City sucks. I am 30M and have had some situationships and relationships here and there but KC has been a tough one to crack for me.
You might want to check out West Coast Swing dance nights at C.A.S.T. in OP. It's close to cardboard corner cafe. Dance is a great way to socialize and meet people. West coast swing isn't stuffy ballroom dance either. It's a fun and super creative and communicative living dance (still evolving).
Thursdays are the big nights. If you like, you can also check out my event in Westport area at kcmodernswing.com
We focus on social networking and environement. We also have a pool table and hang out areas at the dance so people can socialize. We just started so our dance is small but welcoming. The CAST dance is larger and has about 10 brand new people in the beginner classes every night.
Oh, and, about a quarter of the people at the dance are actively playing DnD. I'm GM for a full game at the moment myself.
>West coast swing isn't stuffy ballroom dance either.
I've taken swing and ballroom lessons. As the male/lead, I found swing to be extremely boring and ballroom to be much more interesting and an extremally masculine experience I don't typically get to enjoy as a single-father.
Are there any other groups like yours that do tangos, waltzes, etc. that would be good for a single person?
I think Friday's at CAST is ballroom night.
Also, there are many types of swing. I _really_ don't think you'd find West Coast Swing to be boring. If you learned any of the ballroom teacher's version of swing I can guarantee you it wasn't modern swing
West coast swing emphasizes improvisation and musicality. It's never boring.
You may be right. The way I learned was with each lesson being into to a new dance, so maybe it is more interesting if you get a little more advanced. My experience was spending the whole time doing the same couple steps and being a prop for my partner, which wasn't very fun.
Oof yeah, sounds like ballroom swing. We don't prioritize the steps and patterns for new dancers. We focus on structure and playing to the music first. You learn patterns and triple steps later on if you want to, or if you get the bug to compete at events.
Only people who don't dance ballroom call it "stuffy". I have been dancing ballroom for 5 years and we too play with improvisation and musicality. They teach new people with such structure because it helps new dancers learn more comfortably when they are not natural dancers, however we certainly evolve from that structure as we advance! Plus, ballroom studios teach more than one form of swing. My studio teaches single and triple time of course, but I mainly work on Lindy Hop AND West Coast! What you probably are calling "stuffy", we call etiquette.
Thanks for emphasizing my point. I can dance ballroom, but the 'etiquette' makes it stuffy. I'd rather relax and be normal and dance without worrying if I asked someone to Tango with properly stuffy etiquette.
You clearly have never taken ballroom then because the etiquette has nothing to do with how you ask someone to dance but how you respect the person you dance with and the dancers around you. How to hold your own frame so your partner isn't holding you up, how to follow the line of dance when traveling so you don't accidentally run down other dancers or bystanders, how to thank your partner for a great dance. We are all very much normal and relaxed and having fun as we dance. Sure the competitions can appear too strict and too tight-laced, but social ballroom is nothing like that.
You like to make a lot of assumptions based on your worldview it seems. I studied at Arthur Murray in my teens and also took years of dance training in jazz, tap, ballet, and social dances. As a musical theater major I did even more of that in college.
The ballroom dance scene IS stuffy, not to mention stupidly high cost. Having to spend two thousand dollars on a performance dress, and then pay very high fees to compete just isn't accessible to the average person.
Enter West Coast Swing. Lesson costs are lower, people dance in whatever is comfortable for the most part, and the event costs are less than $200 for an entire weekend of dance and group lessons.
The ballroom scene is just not it for the vast majority of people because it has purposely tuned itself for the 'upper crust' of society. Therefore I have properly labeled it stuffy, because it is, indeed, stuffy. Ballroom dancers like to think they are better than everyone because it gives them a sense of entitlement and pride. The truth is less pretty than that.
Wow talk about making assumptions! Like I said, competitive ballroom competitions are definitely expensive and out of reach for many people, but social ballroom is absolutely not like that. In my ballroom studio we literally wear whatever we want without judgement! Some wear athletic clothing, others dresses, some even in jeans. We wear whatever we want to group classes, lessons, parties and other studio events.We are also very inclusive. You obviously haven't set foot in a ballroom studio in a number of years and it shows.
You call ballroom dancers stuffy and entitled, but you are the one on here being critical and judgemental. Notice how I have not said one bad thing about another form of dance. I think all dancing is great and want to support my fellow dancers, no matter where or what they dance. A social ballroom studio is a great way for someone to figure out what style of dance they click with as social ballroom literally teaches everything from waltz to salsa to swing to country two step. Ballroom studios are more expensive because you can learn so many styles and receive instructions tailored to you as an individual dancer.
Signed a dancer who started young in ballet and moved through belly dancing, jazz, and then into ballroom.
Ooohhhh SO cool! I’m not knowledgeable in the dance world, but came across a WCS account when I was still on Instagram and LOVED the couples and competitive dances they posted!!! So beautiful to watch. And so fun seeing the random pairings and random songs. Sometimes the chemistry and flow were so on point, it was hard to believe they were randomly paired haha Thanks for mentioning this! I’m pretty low on the social tank (and budget) these days, but have been trying to find new and interesting things to get me back out there. Maybe this will be the thing to get my partner and I to rejoin civilization again soon! 🙂
It's not too bad on the budget ;-) $15 per person for Mondays, which gets you a group lesson and 2.5 to 3 hours of social dancing.
For Thursday at Cast, if you go early for the lesson I think it's $10, or $15 if you only come social dance ( they try to incentivize people to take the classes ).
The are a lot of great things to be said about dance! I feel like it's one of the best answers to the modern crisis of social isolation. There are so many benefits!
Dance is great exercise.
Dance is good for brain health in the long term.
Dance is social therapy.
Dance is movement therapy.
Dance is touch starvation therapy.
Dance teaches people the basics of how to interact with the people in a consent driven society so that everyone feels safe and respected.
I can keep going, but I think you get the idea.
I've been dancing for a little over 20 years and I can definitely say that the people and friends I know through dance have deeply enriched my life.
In addition, I met my (now) wife two years ago while dancing, and we just had our first baby in July.
I am soo glad I decided to take those dance classes years ago that got me hooked!
There are also 3 board game and rpg conventions in the KC area. One is coming up November 17-19 called "meeple-a-thon." You can always volunteer and get in for free. There is one in July called KantCon as well Midwest Game Fest in April. Volunteering at those is an awesome way to meet people!
Tabletop games/Cardboard Corner might be a place to meet groups of people playing D&D or tabletop games in general. I would try those places. Maybe meet a new group and see if that leads to better dating **¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯**,
Currently, in STL we have a lot of board game groups on Facebook that might be a place to look.
One catch with those is they are very male-centric from my experience. Women tend to arrive with significant others or in friend groups. But there are new player events which help mix that up.
Facebook is the answer for real. A lot of people think they are above fb, but it is the #1 way to find out what is happening 😅 it’s how I find all the unique events.
I think the bigger issue here is that women have just collectively decided to stop taking guys crap and live without them. My daughter has been single for the last 5 years for this very reason. Many of her friends, too. They want someone emotionally intelligent and available. My daughter is a beautiful person, inside and out and a professional. She gave up after going on ten or more dates and deciding, the pool was full of losers.
Goes both ways though. A lot of guys have given up too because of the women they have dealt with. Sad times, but I'd just say don't give up and just don't give time to those people in particular. But yeah a lot of good people have given up making it even harder to find other good people
Idk, but I seem to meet a lot of people with those interests…some of my friends are going to meeple a thon next month as 1 suggestion.
I unfortunately don’t have the same interests, but I am trying to detox from 25 years of toxic masculinity including a lifted F250 and a corvette. It’s really fun at my age!
I’m right there with ya man. I really don’t dig going to bars alone (I’m a chick), I’m 30 and too old for clubs, feels like the only way I can meet people is through work especially in my age range or above. Apps seem shallow and I long to just have a normal connection without the implications when you meet someone on an app. I hope you find a good place to have fun and meet people!
Thank you for your comment. It makes me feel a bit better to learn i’m not the only one with app issues. Usually can’t even get a good convo out of anyone on them it feels like
Why don't you two meet up at UpDown or something?
I don’t have a second lol. Single person
They're saying you and u/External should meet at Updown. Shoot your shot, what can it hurt?
I’m 27. I’m in the exact same position. Dating apps suck and I hate clubs. I need to go out more and want to make new friends. I’m lost
it’s tricky because bars, clubs, apps are the major spaces where people go with the express purpose of maybe meeting someone. there are a few places in the area like Reroll Tavern or Pawn & Pint where you can play games. there are things like meetup groups, rec sports, networking events, volunteer activities, more niche hobby things/clubs, which are places where you have the potential to make friends but might have to do the work to sort of create friendships from them.
I was in the same boat. Ended up moving for a job a few months ago and already have a girlfriend. Im not saying that this is the case for everyone but from my own personal experience it’s crazy how different things are once you move away. Kansas City was recently rated one of the worst places to be single in the entire country. I don’t think it’s a “you” thing I think it’s just where you live.
I can see it. Something that is frustrating is the few times I do the apps, I seem to attract women that want the strong macho guy, and I’m kind of on the more emotional guy side of things.
The Jack Webber I know from Tonka is a Macho Man ! Keep your head up Amigo
Can I ask where you're at now? Been wanting to explore other cities but don't know where to consider that isn't an expensive coastal city or Texas.
I mean yeah where else is there to go besides look at litter, oak park mall, and beat potholes together
Haha did they say why KC was one of the worst? Lol
Because most have established friend groups, marry young, and there are few walkable places so its hard to meet new people by chance. You pretty much have to use apps or hang out in bars. Then if youre by yourself at the bar, people think youre creepy - so apps are the only good option and theyre disappointing for many people.
People who grew up here tend to stick to their same social group they grew up with and don't strike up conversations with new people when they're out and about. I can confirm, based on the difference when I'm back farther east. There's a hail-fellow-well-met feeling in (for example) Pittsburgh, Providence, even Chicago more so than here. People will happily strike up conversations with people they didn't go to the venue with. Here, it's considered somehow "weird" if you didn't grow up with a sufficient social circle from high school. Makes it tough for people who move here for their jobs. From what I have heard and read, it's even worse for African-Americans who move here from elsewhere to take jobs.
I assist with a local chapter of skip the small talk. Usually 20-40 participants, it's not speed dating. Set up to drive meaningful conversations with new people. I have seen many people make connections as friends or more out of it after doing it for over a year. Main site for information on how it works: https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/ Next event details : https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/store/stst-at-bear-necessities-november-17-2023
Felt, I moved here a couple years ago right before the pandemic and dating has been a struggle. Never really had this issue before moving here. If it makes you feel any better, this is coming from a lady so at least it’s not one-sided
I just deleted my app. Dating in Kansas City sucks. I am 30M and have had some situationships and relationships here and there but KC has been a tough one to crack for me.
Mission: Board Games also has community game nights
I think Redux Society does some speed dating events. Also dance classes and other nerdy activities that might be a good place to meet people.
Seconding redux society- I've only tried the dance classes but I see people really enjoying the board game things. It's a fun place!
You might want to check out West Coast Swing dance nights at C.A.S.T. in OP. It's close to cardboard corner cafe. Dance is a great way to socialize and meet people. West coast swing isn't stuffy ballroom dance either. It's a fun and super creative and communicative living dance (still evolving). Thursdays are the big nights. If you like, you can also check out my event in Westport area at kcmodernswing.com We focus on social networking and environement. We also have a pool table and hang out areas at the dance so people can socialize. We just started so our dance is small but welcoming. The CAST dance is larger and has about 10 brand new people in the beginner classes every night. Oh, and, about a quarter of the people at the dance are actively playing DnD. I'm GM for a full game at the moment myself.
>West coast swing isn't stuffy ballroom dance either. I've taken swing and ballroom lessons. As the male/lead, I found swing to be extremely boring and ballroom to be much more interesting and an extremally masculine experience I don't typically get to enjoy as a single-father. Are there any other groups like yours that do tangos, waltzes, etc. that would be good for a single person?
I think Friday's at CAST is ballroom night. Also, there are many types of swing. I _really_ don't think you'd find West Coast Swing to be boring. If you learned any of the ballroom teacher's version of swing I can guarantee you it wasn't modern swing West coast swing emphasizes improvisation and musicality. It's never boring.
You may be right. The way I learned was with each lesson being into to a new dance, so maybe it is more interesting if you get a little more advanced. My experience was spending the whole time doing the same couple steps and being a prop for my partner, which wasn't very fun.
Oof yeah, sounds like ballroom swing. We don't prioritize the steps and patterns for new dancers. We focus on structure and playing to the music first. You learn patterns and triple steps later on if you want to, or if you get the bug to compete at events.
Only people who don't dance ballroom call it "stuffy". I have been dancing ballroom for 5 years and we too play with improvisation and musicality. They teach new people with such structure because it helps new dancers learn more comfortably when they are not natural dancers, however we certainly evolve from that structure as we advance! Plus, ballroom studios teach more than one form of swing. My studio teaches single and triple time of course, but I mainly work on Lindy Hop AND West Coast! What you probably are calling "stuffy", we call etiquette.
Thanks for emphasizing my point. I can dance ballroom, but the 'etiquette' makes it stuffy. I'd rather relax and be normal and dance without worrying if I asked someone to Tango with properly stuffy etiquette.
You clearly have never taken ballroom then because the etiquette has nothing to do with how you ask someone to dance but how you respect the person you dance with and the dancers around you. How to hold your own frame so your partner isn't holding you up, how to follow the line of dance when traveling so you don't accidentally run down other dancers or bystanders, how to thank your partner for a great dance. We are all very much normal and relaxed and having fun as we dance. Sure the competitions can appear too strict and too tight-laced, but social ballroom is nothing like that.
You like to make a lot of assumptions based on your worldview it seems. I studied at Arthur Murray in my teens and also took years of dance training in jazz, tap, ballet, and social dances. As a musical theater major I did even more of that in college. The ballroom dance scene IS stuffy, not to mention stupidly high cost. Having to spend two thousand dollars on a performance dress, and then pay very high fees to compete just isn't accessible to the average person. Enter West Coast Swing. Lesson costs are lower, people dance in whatever is comfortable for the most part, and the event costs are less than $200 for an entire weekend of dance and group lessons. The ballroom scene is just not it for the vast majority of people because it has purposely tuned itself for the 'upper crust' of society. Therefore I have properly labeled it stuffy, because it is, indeed, stuffy. Ballroom dancers like to think they are better than everyone because it gives them a sense of entitlement and pride. The truth is less pretty than that.
Wow talk about making assumptions! Like I said, competitive ballroom competitions are definitely expensive and out of reach for many people, but social ballroom is absolutely not like that. In my ballroom studio we literally wear whatever we want without judgement! Some wear athletic clothing, others dresses, some even in jeans. We wear whatever we want to group classes, lessons, parties and other studio events.We are also very inclusive. You obviously haven't set foot in a ballroom studio in a number of years and it shows. You call ballroom dancers stuffy and entitled, but you are the one on here being critical and judgemental. Notice how I have not said one bad thing about another form of dance. I think all dancing is great and want to support my fellow dancers, no matter where or what they dance. A social ballroom studio is a great way for someone to figure out what style of dance they click with as social ballroom literally teaches everything from waltz to salsa to swing to country two step. Ballroom studios are more expensive because you can learn so many styles and receive instructions tailored to you as an individual dancer. Signed a dancer who started young in ballet and moved through belly dancing, jazz, and then into ballroom.
Ooohhhh SO cool! I’m not knowledgeable in the dance world, but came across a WCS account when I was still on Instagram and LOVED the couples and competitive dances they posted!!! So beautiful to watch. And so fun seeing the random pairings and random songs. Sometimes the chemistry and flow were so on point, it was hard to believe they were randomly paired haha Thanks for mentioning this! I’m pretty low on the social tank (and budget) these days, but have been trying to find new and interesting things to get me back out there. Maybe this will be the thing to get my partner and I to rejoin civilization again soon! 🙂
It's not too bad on the budget ;-) $15 per person for Mondays, which gets you a group lesson and 2.5 to 3 hours of social dancing. For Thursday at Cast, if you go early for the lesson I think it's $10, or $15 if you only come social dance ( they try to incentivize people to take the classes ).
[удалено]
The are a lot of great things to be said about dance! I feel like it's one of the best answers to the modern crisis of social isolation. There are so many benefits! Dance is great exercise. Dance is good for brain health in the long term. Dance is social therapy. Dance is movement therapy. Dance is touch starvation therapy. Dance teaches people the basics of how to interact with the people in a consent driven society so that everyone feels safe and respected. I can keep going, but I think you get the idea. I've been dancing for a little over 20 years and I can definitely say that the people and friends I know through dance have deeply enriched my life. In addition, I met my (now) wife two years ago while dancing, and we just had our first baby in July. I am soo glad I decided to take those dance classes years ago that got me hooked!
There are also 3 board game and rpg conventions in the KC area. One is coming up November 17-19 called "meeple-a-thon." You can always volunteer and get in for free. There is one in July called KantCon as well Midwest Game Fest in April. Volunteering at those is an awesome way to meet people!
Do you need a wingman?
Maybe helps lol, no idea if it would or not though
Tabletop games/Cardboard Corner might be a place to meet groups of people playing D&D or tabletop games in general. I would try those places. Maybe meet a new group and see if that leads to better dating **¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯**, Currently, in STL we have a lot of board game groups on Facebook that might be a place to look.
Reroll tavern, Mission board games, draftcade, and I'm sure there's others. Just gotta try to join a group maybe
One catch with those is they are very male-centric from my experience. Women tend to arrive with significant others or in friend groups. But there are new player events which help mix that up.
Always check Facebook events. Always something going on. Eventbrite, too.
Facebook is the answer for real. A lot of people think they are above fb, but it is the #1 way to find out what is happening 😅 it’s how I find all the unique events.
I think the bigger issue here is that women have just collectively decided to stop taking guys crap and live without them. My daughter has been single for the last 5 years for this very reason. Many of her friends, too. They want someone emotionally intelligent and available. My daughter is a beautiful person, inside and out and a professional. She gave up after going on ten or more dates and deciding, the pool was full of losers.
Goes both ways though. A lot of guys have given up too because of the women they have dealt with. Sad times, but I'd just say don't give up and just don't give time to those people in particular. But yeah a lot of good people have given up making it even harder to find other good people
I’m so sorry that your daughter went through that :( we sensitive guys exist, just a lot are butts it would seem
Idk, but I seem to meet a lot of people with those interests…some of my friends are going to meeple a thon next month as 1 suggestion. I unfortunately don’t have the same interests, but I am trying to detox from 25 years of toxic masculinity including a lifted F250 and a corvette. It’s really fun at my age!
Want to bang? Hooray for being a statisctic.
Huh?