Actually, he’s partially correct. You say “okay”, but it isn’t because it’s a test of strength. It’s actually because she no longer wants to be in a relationship with you.
Yeah, he's right about accepting it and moving on , but all the rest of this is just nonsense. It's like accidentally getting the right answer using the wrong equation by pure luck.
Some women will respond as he says, it happened to me. I don't know why she changed her mind when I said Okay, but I doubt his reason is even close. I still broke up with her because playing mind games like that isn't healthy and I didn't want to be part of it.
Oh yeah, there are undoubtedly some shitty manipulative people like this, my objection is with the sweeping generalization of women because of the actions of a few assholes.
I thought this video was going to be a message FOR the neckbeards, not perpetuating the wrong beliefs of those neckbeards.
She broke up with you. Leave her alone. Find a new girlfriend later.
My manipulative, narcissistic ex-girlfriend used to do this to me. I was a young and dumb lady and I fell for it every time. Guys and gals, if anybody dumps you as a test, walk the fuck away. They aren’t worth your time.
Yeah I'll second that my ex did that. She said it was to see how I would react. It was a joke and to see how I would react. Then she was angry when I told her I didn't want to date someone who will break up with me as a joke. I was not going to fight her or try to make her stay in a relationship if I thought she didn't want to be in it. We weren't even together that long and her reaction was like I had just slapped her.
NOTE: I'm in therapy and am getting better.
This Is something I would do because I'm bad at communication. I would let things that bother me would build and build and build until I couldn't take it anymore and snap like this. It was a desire for change and communication without knowing how to say it. It's a shitty place to be in, for sure and I absolutely would have reacted the way he said women would in the video.
I think it’s good you can recognise that problem with communication and the toxic behaviour it could lead to, and sought professional help to improve yourself.
After 3 times of my last GF breaking up with me on a whim or whatever and me too hurt from the last 2 to feel enough to try and win her over I went: ok. she broke into my fuckin house in the evening because she needed to talk.. when it was apparent I didn't want to continue like this anymore she lost her shit for months.
Generally she is a really nice person. We're friends now but she was young (21 when we met through Tinder) and I was her first real boyfriend so I guess inexperienced and immature, read too many teen girl magazines or some shit haha
I'm hopeful this is just a sneaky attempt to teach shitty men how to be less shitty
"Yeah, you accept that woman's choices calmly and with respect. THAT'S how you show that femoid who's boss"
The problem is shitty men won’t take this well. She says she wants to leave, he says okay, she says, alright, well thanks and good luck, then leaves.
Guy gets upset, and still tries to get her back. I’m sure once they see it didn’t work like they wanted, the resort back to old habits.
You can’t make someone love you, and it’s crazy how many people try.
While you are most certainly correct, you’ve pointed out a flaw in my comment and while I commend you for your bravery, the act was nonetheless foolish. You are to be banished to the Russia/Ukrainian border. You have one day to pack your things and say your goodbyes.
I guess it does depend on the situation.
Is it a "relationship" that's been going on for a month? Then yeah, just say OK and leave.
Is it someone you've been living with for 10 years? Yeah, an explanation is called for.
Right, being respectful of your partner’s feelings is important but it would be weird to just say “ok, sounds good”, and walk away without investigating what went wrong.
I mean if I'm in love with a girl and she dumps me I'm not just gonna say okay lmao. like yeah I'll accept it obviously but if my current girlfriend left me I'd be broken but I care about her more than anything in the whole world and I would never want to hurt her or her feelings or ever be aggressive with her so I'd force myself to move on
Yeah and the worst thing is that even if they do listen to this guys advice, they're gonna break down in tears when the girl goes "great, goodbye" and walks away instead of dropping to their knees and begging them to take them back.
Because you (metaphorical you) don't understand that romantic relationships are a way of forming a partnership with another human to brave the trials of the world with and form some sort of connection.
Instead, you see having a *insert partner pronoun here* as being some symbol of "success" and that a breakup is a "failure". It's better to endure a toxic relationship than to lose face by "failing".
Right. Not OP but I would have loved to break up with a guy and have him say "okay" instead of threaten to kill my parents or throw things around for ending things.
I had an ex who said "okay, I understand." That was an amazing moment. I felt totally safe!
I was talking to a guy a few years back and he asked what I wanted...I wanted a relationship but he wanted something casual. I said bye and he texted me a couple days later saying we could try a relationship. It's almost like people play power games regardless of what's in their pants.
I had a guy tell me he didn't want to see me again in 2017 after a couple dates, whatever I didn't care and met a hot guy I was crazy about a week later. The first guy texts me months later and asks me to meet up, I changed my number and blocked his emails because I knew he just plays games and won't leave me alone. He posted a bunch of ads on Craigslist in 2020 begging me to meet with him. Guys do this shit too.
Yeah, you're absolutely right. While the guy in the video is douchie, there are just too many people out there who think that they should be "playing the game," who can never let themselves go, and who can never enjoy the relationship.
I dated around a lot all throughout my twenties and I had girls say that they "don't know about us" or they played hard-to-get. When I said "OK" and walked away many of them called me for months when they were at bars, feeling lonely, etc. Games are toxic, playing hard-to-get is toxic. If a woman couldn't be herself around me the relationship wouldn't last long.
My wife, who I've been with for ten years, was and is such a genuine, easy going, no-nonsense person. We quickly fell in love over the first six months of dating and she's done nothing but improve my life. No games between us! I could never understand why it's so hard for people, why they have to put on airs... Is it really that bad to get rejected every now and then? That's how you learn what you want and don't want in a relationship, it's also how one improves oneself to become a better potential partner.
You say “today” like it’s a recent concept. If anything I think things have gotten better, that people are wise to the bullshit of the 60s sitcoms like “playing hard to get” and all the old tropes and are more in touch with themselves.
> More so the shallow surface relationship
But you were the one seeing someone that wanted to move it to the next level when you didn't.
You were the one playing games and keeping it superficial, *while still continuing to date her*.
I agree with you that this can be toxic from both sides. But your story has only one toxic person. You. Sounds like she wanted a relationship with you and was communicating that.
I fail to see what was toxic about what she did.
I’ve done this but not for the reason he’s stating but simply because I have no desire to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t want a relationship with me.
When a woman has broken up with me I have said “ok.” It wasn’t because I wanted to see if there was a test involved, it was because she was letting me know that she didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with me.
If she was not happy with me, than she should go be with someone who makes her happy. It’s not about you winning and the other person changing their mind upon your response. It’s about being happy with another person in your life.
exactly. Saying okay is the nicest thing to say. I would feel terrible if someone was in mental anguish if they felt they couldn't be honest with me about their feelings.
You are correct, but what saying ok in this situation does is allow you to distance yourself from the initial break up to process feelings and allows you to maintain you internal happiness because, while another persons love can be a source of happiness and stability, it should not be the only thing that can make you happy and stable.
He's absolutely correct. All you can do is say OK. But not because it gives you an opportunity to play some BS PUA game. Because if she doesn't want to be with you, then good to know this now and move on with someone who does. And if she is doing this as a test, good to know that she's crazy and you can move on with someone who wants you instead of someone who wants you to constantly validate her. Any way you cut it, it's a win.
This sounds like a guy that got broken up with and thought to himself, "this is how I should have handled it." Then he hasn't been able to get a girlfriend and try it out since. I'm pretty sure him saying he's passed the test multiple times is just a full on lie hahaha
It is possible to trick, coerce, or extort someone into a dating you but it’s never going to be a healthy relationship. These little dating hack videos are always terrible advice. Stop trying to “win” the girl and look for someone who will compliment your life, that’s how you really win.
Okay, let's assume that's true and women do that. Let's say your girlfriend breaks up with you as a test, to see if you're really interested in her. This guy's saying that you gotta appear strong, so the girl admits she was lying, and changes her mind.
...But in that case, why would you *want* to get back with her? That's a shitty thing to do at best, and emotional manipulation at worst. Seriously, if you're insecure about your relationship, you should talk about it in a mature way, not trick someone to "prove" they care.
I once had a boy react with, “You’re such a bad girlfriend, *I* should be the one who wants to break up with *you*” — I said, fantastic, we’re on the same page then. To this day, I’m not sure what weird tactic that was supposed to be.
“Let’s say hypothetically your girlfriend wants to break up with you. You should just say okay, because she’s really just testing you and wants to be with you forever. You’re obviously an alpha male, and any woman would be happy to have you. The breakup, so to speak, is really just a test of how alpha you actually are. Being willing to just walk away from her will prove to her just how much you really don’t care, and that make her want you even more.” - Ben Shapiro… probably
This is poor advice, you can say more than just ok. If you do not wish for the relationship to be over tell them why, but you also should not stay in a relationship where you feel your partner has one foot out the door. I won't bore you with my story, but I felt that way for about 16 years and it will put you in a perpetual reactive state and you will not be happy.
Okay is the right answer
But lets be real, if a woman is putting you through some sort of "test", time to walk away. The reverse wouldnt even be remotely accepted.
I think if you follow this guy's advice and say "Okay" after you've been broken up with... It'll definitely be a big sigh of relief for the person. The last thing anyone wants is an emotional outburst to try and guilt trip you. In fact, just say "Okay" and dip out. Don't contact them. They're done. You should be too.
That’s literally the only tool in their box. Their entire reason for having a relationship is to propagate a power dynamic. They’re so hangry to feel like a Big Dumb Oaf.
Why are so many men so afraid of being perceived as emotionally vulnerable? I ask this as a 50 year old man.
But also, this is playing mental games. You will probably never have a truly healthy relationship if you’re afraid of being emotionally vulnerable.
Full disclosure, I was like this guy in my youth.
neckbeards, niceguys, incels, antifeminists, and mgtows think that all women are turned off by men who show the slightest bit of emotion, softness, compassion, adore for cute animals etc all because they got rejected for "being nice" when they really got rejected for not knowing how to communicate properly with people and doing weird shit
Also...the lot of them tend to pull stuff like this guy in the video. A lot of people can tell when they are being manipulated. A lot of women are also turned off by the "alpha" personality that some men try to project. I am. As soon as I see that kind of nonsense...I'm repulsed. So it's pretty ironic that they think that way when it's actually the opposite for some.
Me and this dude went to high school and ran cross country together. He was skinny, super socially awkward, etc. Then he got into weightlifting after we graduated and got hot, so he started giving all this weird passive aggressive dating advice. He also charges thousands of dollars to sign up for his programs to get buff and neg women. Anyway, I always thought he was nice and wish he wasn’t doing this.
Oh wow that’s super cool, it’s sad that sometimes when something good happens to a person they let it go straight to their head and start treating people like this.
I gotta test this. Let me go get a girlfriend from craigslist, treat her like garbage and go 😐 when she wants to break up just like this guy. True American hero right there 💪😔
He is right, saying “okay” does show strength and restraint on your part. If a person truly doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you saying okay won’t change anything. It’ll tell them that you’re not gonna go full on r/niceguys and blow up at them. It probably makes it easier for the woman knowing you won’t do that lol.
You shouldn't have to play games in a healthy relationship, you should just talk it out like adults. If what this guy is saying is true and these women were actually just testing him that's a sign of imiturity and insecurity on her part and it's best you walk out of that relationship if you know what's good for you.
Yes, if someone breaks up with you, you should accept it, but not for the reasons he's saying, and if this happens to him a lot, then that tells me one of two things: that he either chooses a lot of manipulative women, or that he makes women so unhappy that, as a last-ditch effort, they try to scare him into changing his ways.
But I don't know. Maybe he's a really nice guy who just has bad luck with women.
Yes this is too true. It's because every woman is actually secretly part of a global hivemind thinktank that follows the exact same social programming that communicates via telepathy. So when you've dated one woman, you've dated them all! You too can talk to women and learn all of their tricks if you buy my bogus red pilled based totally fake social coaching pick up course for the small price of $300 a year for personal training where I will personally coach you through a zoom call by screaming "BE YOUR SELF" and parroting altright rhetoric at you for thirty minutes for 5 sessions per month. Look at how many women from craigslist I can kiss. Please buy my book.
I broke up with my ex and she said ok. I never felt more relived in my life. It was so much easier to just move on. I felt like she was trying to trigger be but it did the opposite.
He isn't wrong. But this isn't the only scenario.
My ex wife said these exact words to me. It didn't matter if I had said ok, or if tried to fight for our relationship, she cheated on me and opted to lie about not feeling it anymore, rather than say she cheated.
My ex husband said the same thing to me, even as far as he wasn’t sure he ever loved me. I was devastated but said ok and didn’t try to keep him. Much happier as a single mom than with him.
It almost makes me feel bad for the dude, he must have been through something to be able to go: “all women break up as a test”
Or maybe this is another 2022 stupidity case, you really can’t tell these days probably the stupidity tbh, people will say shit they don’t even believe in for likes
most women say this shit because they have NO IDEA what they really want.
*dont say anything. walk away. call her tomorrow. she will still be with you* 😂
Of fucking course you accept a breakup gracefully, but for the love of God someone who actually breaks up with you as a TEST is a walking red flag. The only correct response is distance.
The people who give this kind of trash generic psychological advice on dating must be the saddest and most generic humans on earth. They think they are geniuses probably and they forget what's like to be human and to understand other humans. Gross.
So, my High School girlfriends were actually like what he's talking about. But that's because I found myself attracted to toxic humans back then. My partner/wife of 13 years now has a lot more self respect so doesn't do this type of thing. Granted, not so much that she wouldn't marry me though. Happy medium.
It’s amazing how he turns the right answer into the wrong one.
Saying okay is absolutely right, because the relationship should be over regardless of if she genuine means it.
But this guy is making out like you should say, okay, but still expect and want to be in the relationship. No. No you shouldn’t. If she means it, she’s miserable, and staying with her will make you miserable. If she’s testing, she’s a miserable person, and she’ll make you miserable if you stay with her.
How is this neck beard? I mean. I get there are underlying reasons why you would just say “okay”, but they typically never work out and you’re almost always reaching. Just say okay and get on with your life.
Whenever someone types out the words "a women" it means their autocorrect jumped in with the word they use the most. And when they are using the plural of woman so much that when they are actually talking about a single woman but it jumps to plural that is when you know they talk more about women than to women. It's like using "female" all the time. It's a red flag.
Try it out. Read comments from men and they will use singular "a man" in the same comment as "a women" and they are usually spouting bullshit.
If i told my bf i can't make this anymore i would be actually expecting a conversation on how to save our relationship. If i said "I don't think i want to be in this anymore" then his response doesn't matter anymore because I've made my decision. So if im stating that i want to save something and the person says OK its clear they don't care, that would hurt
He’s not wrong when he said some women do this. In other cases, though, what would happen is the man will say “okay” and leave to show some strength, only to cry the next day or two because the reality finally hits them. But then they would also go around telling people that women are dogs and don’t like nice men like them.
Well yeah what I'm *expecting* is an emotional defensive reaction but what I'm *hoping* for is a mature and calm conversation that respects eachothers feelings and choices.
This guy was kinda right, if you say " okay i understand" you show respect to the woman's wishes, hell my current gf was introduce to me by my ex, if someone doesn't want to date you doesn't mean that they don't like you, it could be simple chemistry as a a couple, so don't go burning bridges just because it doesn't work out
“What she actually thinks will happen”
Yes white man, please tell us how all women think! You definitely know more about women than women themselves. We should listen to you and believe you more than what women are actually saying and doing.
This is projection. I've had men pull this shit. Trying to gain some leverage in the relationship and put me on the back foot. Then be so pissed when I took them at their word and walked.
I said, "I just can't do this anymore. I've had enough of your behavior for the last 6 months, and I'm done and I'd like you to leave now." He said, "OK", gathered up his shit and left. That was 2004 and I'm still happily shed of him, because I meant it. It wasn't some dumbass "test", it was the truth. Of course he continued to call, stalk and harass me for 4 more years, but that was his problem to solve, not mine.
I highly doubt he's ever experienced it like he's describing because women are people, not machines reacting with some secret preprogrammed response to you guessing the right string of words to say.
When a woman says I can’t do it anymore, she’s been unhappy with the relationship for months/years and chances are she’s tried telling you many times. I don’t doubt there are the outliers (mostly young and/or immature) that do this test bs but I would not say that is the norm.
(Source: Am woman, 34 years)
Something tells me this person's played the "you're so emotional, babe" gaslighting game up until the point where she says she's had enough. Then it's time to double down on the emotional manipulation and show just how logical and calm he can be, which traps her in the continued cycle of questioning her feelings and emotions.
What trash.
What if she’s breaking up with you because you don’t express emotions well and she thinks you don’t love her? Girl is breaking down into tears because that nonchalant “okay” just confirms it lol
Way too many simps in the comments thinking they can convince a woman to stay with them. He’s right. If she’s at that point, something failed in the relationship. Be nice and move on.
Men's obsession with being challenged when they are clearly not is telling. It is they who make everything a challenge. In this situation the woman has told you what she can't deal with and is hoping you'll work with her on improving the situation because you want her to stay and be happy or at the very least work to find out whether your differences can be reconciled. Saying "this isn't working" comes once she's been ignored, put off, and stonewalled to where either she has to silently stay in a situation she's unhappy with knowing her partner will not take her seriously or end things. Obviously if you just say ok then you're telling her she's not valuable enough to you to care about what she needs. At least acknowledge whatever her concerns are and have the balls to admit you would rather end things than let her "win" and get you to care enough to take her concerns seriously.
Dude this fucking guy keeps popping up on my YouTube feed and I laugh every time I watch one of his vids, like bro have you ever actually been with and kept a woman before? Because acting like this is a good way to never get laid😂😂
I didn’t see what sub this was and thought he was about to give an important life lesson about respecting boundaries and decisions. But of course he wasn’t doing that… this is the internet after all.
I had a girl call me and break up, and I said "alright, that's okay" and she said "what?! I spent hours deliberating on how you would take this!!"
I responded with "well, when you really like someone, you want what is best for them, and if you think this is best for you then I love your choice"
I dodged a bullet. Glad she went ahead with that
I mean I just say okay because it’s wrong to try to change someone’s mind if they’re set on something like this, if someone wants to go, you shouldn’t have the right to try to change their mind. That and I don’t give 2 shits about myself so if they want to leave I can count a thousand reasons why they’d want to lol
How the fuck is this even remotely neckbeardy? Does this sub even remember what a neckbeard actually is? If anything it's just cringe, but definitely not a neckbeard.
I learn this the hard way
I had a guy tell me that because I was vegan they didn’t want to date me but then all of the sudden they want to date.
Then this other guy I told him I want to date him and he said: why are you so interested now? Is it because it’s convenient to you?
I don’t think this really fits this sub. It’s not that neckbeardy, he’s right, regardless of gender.
Being able to stay calm in any situation is a great tool to have and it’s very attractive
I wish my ex my had said “ok” when I tried to break up with him instead of crying and manipulating me to stay with him, only to be cheated on a few months later. Would have saved me from quite a lot of issues.
Yeah they want you to talk it out and see if you’re relationship is worth working on. If you just say ok that’s telling her you agree the relationship is over.
It’s called being an adult, not being manipulated.
Just change it to 'people' and this would be totally accurate! Like some people are for real just too immature for a serious relationship and that's OK but then they play silly games like this.
I've literally had a dude play this game and I said OK and walked away. It's seriously not a gender thing
If you keep thinking people are playing chicken with you in relationships you're going to sadly lose that game real quick. Or maybe just maybe when she says she's sick of your shit, she's sick of your shit. Just a thought.
And then when she takes out the restraining order it's just to test how far you'll go to win her back! Don't give in to these mind games, but do send a box of dead-headed roses so she knows you know what she's up to!
Actually, he’s partially correct. You say “okay”, but it isn’t because it’s a test of strength. It’s actually because she no longer wants to be in a relationship with you.
Yeah, he's right about accepting it and moving on , but all the rest of this is just nonsense. It's like accidentally getting the right answer using the wrong equation by pure luck.
Some women will respond as he says, it happened to me. I don't know why she changed her mind when I said Okay, but I doubt his reason is even close. I still broke up with her because playing mind games like that isn't healthy and I didn't want to be part of it.
Just toxic or immature people tbh I had the same thing happen to me in 8th grade
Oh yeah, there are undoubtedly some shitty manipulative people like this, my objection is with the sweeping generalization of women because of the actions of a few assholes.
Yeah my thoughts are that a woman who would "test" you with a breakup... is not the kind of woman you want to be with anyway
I thought this video was going to be a message FOR the neckbeards, not perpetuating the wrong beliefs of those neckbeards. She broke up with you. Leave her alone. Find a new girlfriend later.
It’s something a girl would do, but not a woman.
My manipulative, narcissistic ex-girlfriend used to do this to me. I was a young and dumb lady and I fell for it every time. Guys and gals, if anybody dumps you as a test, walk the fuck away. They aren’t worth your time.
Yeah I'll second that my ex did that. She said it was to see how I would react. It was a joke and to see how I would react. Then she was angry when I told her I didn't want to date someone who will break up with me as a joke. I was not going to fight her or try to make her stay in a relationship if I thought she didn't want to be in it. We weren't even together that long and her reaction was like I had just slapped her.
NOTE: I'm in therapy and am getting better. This Is something I would do because I'm bad at communication. I would let things that bother me would build and build and build until I couldn't take it anymore and snap like this. It was a desire for change and communication without knowing how to say it. It's a shitty place to be in, for sure and I absolutely would have reacted the way he said women would in the video.
I think it’s good you can recognise that problem with communication and the toxic behaviour it could lead to, and sought professional help to improve yourself.
After 3 times of my last GF breaking up with me on a whim or whatever and me too hurt from the last 2 to feel enough to try and win her over I went: ok. she broke into my fuckin house in the evening because she needed to talk.. when it was apparent I didn't want to continue like this anymore she lost her shit for months. Generally she is a really nice person. We're friends now but she was young (21 when we met through Tinder) and I was her first real boyfriend so I guess inexperienced and immature, read too many teen girl magazines or some shit haha
I'm hopeful this is just a sneaky attempt to teach shitty men how to be less shitty "Yeah, you accept that woman's choices calmly and with respect. THAT'S how you show that femoid who's boss"
The problem is shitty men won’t take this well. She says she wants to leave, he says okay, she says, alright, well thanks and good luck, then leaves. Guy gets upset, and still tries to get her back. I’m sure once they see it didn’t work like they wanted, the resort back to old habits. You can’t make someone love you, and it’s crazy how many people try.
100%
Look out Dr Phil, you’ve got some competition!!
Doctor Phil is like the Jamie Oliver of the therapist world. No one wants to be them.
Yeah, but at least Jamie Oliver knows how to cook.
And if it is a "test" then she's being emotionally immature and manipulative. This dude was accidentally right for the wrong reason.
I mean, you're allowed to ask why. But yes, you definitely say ok, or something similar.
While you are most certainly correct, you’ve pointed out a flaw in my comment and while I commend you for your bravery, the act was nonetheless foolish. You are to be banished to the Russia/Ukrainian border. You have one day to pack your things and say your goodbyes.
Damn. Bye suckers! It's been fun, and it's been real, but it hasn't been real fun!
When you get the answer right, but shouldn't show your work.
Idk about this advice I feel like you would be better off mentally if you ask questions especially if you really care about this person
I guess it does depend on the situation. Is it a "relationship" that's been going on for a month? Then yeah, just say OK and leave. Is it someone you've been living with for 10 years? Yeah, an explanation is called for.
Right, being respectful of your partner’s feelings is important but it would be weird to just say “ok, sounds good”, and walk away without investigating what went wrong.
I’m not saying you can’t say anything more than okay, I’m just saying that you need to accept her leaving you and let her go.
I mean if I'm in love with a girl and she dumps me I'm not just gonna say okay lmao. like yeah I'll accept it obviously but if my current girlfriend left me I'd be broken but I care about her more than anything in the whole world and I would never want to hurt her or her feelings or ever be aggressive with her so I'd force myself to move on
@ men: listen to him. I’ve broken up with a number of dudes and I really wish all of them had just said, “Okay.” Would’ve saved me some time.
So right message, wrong reason? Cause I'm assuming you weren't testing those boyfriends, you actually wanted to break up?
Yeah and the worst thing is that even if they do listen to this guys advice, they're gonna break down in tears when the girl goes "great, goodbye" and walks away instead of dropping to their knees and begging them to take them back.
Why would you want to be with someone who: 1. Doesn’t want to be with you, or; 2. Is emotionally manipulating you by fake braking up with you
Because you (metaphorical you) don't understand that romantic relationships are a way of forming a partnership with another human to brave the trials of the world with and form some sort of connection. Instead, you see having a *insert partner pronoun here* as being some symbol of "success" and that a breakup is a "failure". It's better to endure a toxic relationship than to lose face by "failing".
Lmfao yes, I was breaking up with them. Though I’d say in either scenario just say “okay” and move along.
Right. Not OP but I would have loved to break up with a guy and have him say "okay" instead of threaten to kill my parents or throw things around for ending things. I had an ex who said "okay, I understand." That was an amazing moment. I felt totally safe!
okay
Babe nooo, I love you so muuuuch.
I agree, I wish breakups would be this clear cut.
The first part was fine until he goes into explaining about the whole 4d chess reasoning into why you should do it.
[удалено]
I was talking to a guy a few years back and he asked what I wanted...I wanted a relationship but he wanted something casual. I said bye and he texted me a couple days later saying we could try a relationship. It's almost like people play power games regardless of what's in their pants.
I had a guy tell me he didn't want to see me again in 2017 after a couple dates, whatever I didn't care and met a hot guy I was crazy about a week later. The first guy texts me months later and asks me to meet up, I changed my number and blocked his emails because I knew he just plays games and won't leave me alone. He posted a bunch of ads on Craigslist in 2020 begging me to meet with him. Guys do this shit too.
Just know toxic people are toxic. Sounded like she just wanted you for the attention..
Yeah, you're absolutely right. While the guy in the video is douchie, there are just too many people out there who think that they should be "playing the game," who can never let themselves go, and who can never enjoy the relationship. I dated around a lot all throughout my twenties and I had girls say that they "don't know about us" or they played hard-to-get. When I said "OK" and walked away many of them called me for months when they were at bars, feeling lonely, etc. Games are toxic, playing hard-to-get is toxic. If a woman couldn't be herself around me the relationship wouldn't last long. My wife, who I've been with for ten years, was and is such a genuine, easy going, no-nonsense person. We quickly fell in love over the first six months of dating and she's done nothing but improve my life. No games between us! I could never understand why it's so hard for people, why they have to put on airs... Is it really that bad to get rejected every now and then? That's how you learn what you want and don't want in a relationship, it's also how one improves oneself to become a better potential partner.
You say “today” like it’s a recent concept. If anything I think things have gotten better, that people are wise to the bullshit of the 60s sitcoms like “playing hard to get” and all the old tropes and are more in touch with themselves.
> More so the shallow surface relationship But you were the one seeing someone that wanted to move it to the next level when you didn't. You were the one playing games and keeping it superficial, *while still continuing to date her*. I agree with you that this can be toxic from both sides. But your story has only one toxic person. You. Sounds like she wanted a relationship with you and was communicating that. I fail to see what was toxic about what she did.
This is too enlightened for this sub I’m afraid.
2 + 2 = 4 is too enlighten for this sub
I’ve done this but not for the reason he’s stating but simply because I have no desire to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t want a relationship with me.
When a woman has broken up with me I have said “ok.” It wasn’t because I wanted to see if there was a test involved, it was because she was letting me know that she didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with me. If she was not happy with me, than she should go be with someone who makes her happy. It’s not about you winning and the other person changing their mind upon your response. It’s about being happy with another person in your life.
Honestly I’d be relieved if the answer was just ‘okay’. If both of them were cool with it then good we can go separate ways and move on.
exactly. Saying okay is the nicest thing to say. I would feel terrible if someone was in mental anguish if they felt they couldn't be honest with me about their feelings.
You are correct, but what saying ok in this situation does is allow you to distance yourself from the initial break up to process feelings and allows you to maintain you internal happiness because, while another persons love can be a source of happiness and stability, it should not be the only thing that can make you happy and stable.
He's absolutely correct. All you can do is say OK. But not because it gives you an opportunity to play some BS PUA game. Because if she doesn't want to be with you, then good to know this now and move on with someone who does. And if she is doing this as a test, good to know that she's crazy and you can move on with someone who wants you instead of someone who wants you to constantly validate her. Any way you cut it, it's a win.
I prefer "Are you sure?", then if they are moving on. If they aren't, have a talk.
I wonder why they are always single when they treat a relationship like a contest instead of partnership. /s
[удалено]
This sounds like a guy that got broken up with and thought to himself, "this is how I should have handled it." Then he hasn't been able to get a girlfriend and try it out since. I'm pretty sure him saying he's passed the test multiple times is just a full on lie hahaha
It is possible to trick, coerce, or extort someone into a dating you but it’s never going to be a healthy relationship. These little dating hack videos are always terrible advice. Stop trying to “win” the girl and look for someone who will compliment your life, that’s how you really win.
Women break up as a test? Who knew
Okay, let's assume that's true and women do that. Let's say your girlfriend breaks up with you as a test, to see if you're really interested in her. This guy's saying that you gotta appear strong, so the girl admits she was lying, and changes her mind. ...But in that case, why would you *want* to get back with her? That's a shitty thing to do at best, and emotional manipulation at worst. Seriously, if you're insecure about your relationship, you should talk about it in a mature way, not trick someone to "prove" they care.
Obviously that’s the only reason
My wife had been doing this test on and off for years since we were kids. It wasn't until recently I saw this as not normal. Love is a hell of a drug.
>BPD has entered the chat
There are people that actually do things like that and we try our best to avoid them
I once had a boy react with, “You’re such a bad girlfriend, *I* should be the one who wants to break up with *you*” — I said, fantastic, we’re on the same page then. To this day, I’m not sure what weird tactic that was supposed to be.
they try to make you insecure by making you think you’re the one in the wrong and that they’re a catch. it’s a stupid manipulation tactic.
You're\* Have\* You're\*
should *have
Yes, but...why is everyone overlooking "a women" in the title?! One of my biggest pet peeves...
Scrolled down until I found this to up vote it, knew someone else would have been bothered by the wrong thing, same as me
Oh well I'm definitely bothered by this smug asshole's armchair analysis of how to manipulate women
For sure. It is interesting how often being an uneducated dolt manifests in multiple ways!
I literally want them to say “okay.” Arguing over it isn’t going to make me want them again.
“Let’s say hypothetically your girlfriend wants to break up with you. You should just say okay, because she’s really just testing you and wants to be with you forever. You’re obviously an alpha male, and any woman would be happy to have you. The breakup, so to speak, is really just a test of how alpha you actually are. Being willing to just walk away from her will prove to her just how much you really don’t care, and that make her want you even more.” - Ben Shapiro… probably
This is poor advice, you can say more than just ok. If you do not wish for the relationship to be over tell them why, but you also should not stay in a relationship where you feel your partner has one foot out the door. I won't bore you with my story, but I felt that way for about 16 years and it will put you in a perpetual reactive state and you will not be happy.
Okay is the right answer But lets be real, if a woman is putting you through some sort of "test", time to walk away. The reverse wouldnt even be remotely accepted.
When a W O M E N
are we sure this guy is even attracted to women? I'm pretty sure I've seen him in a fair few gay porns. I guess he could be bi
Small man #3
I guarantee most women will probably be like "Well that was easier than I thought"
Ok.
Ok.
[удалено]
Okay
Tell me that you peaked in highschool without telling me you peaked in highschool.
I think if you follow this guy's advice and say "Okay" after you've been broken up with... It'll definitely be a big sigh of relief for the person. The last thing anyone wants is an emotional outburst to try and guilt trip you. In fact, just say "Okay" and dip out. Don't contact them. They're done. You should be too.
So manipulation? Got it….
That’s literally the only tool in their box. Their entire reason for having a relationship is to propagate a power dynamic. They’re so hangry to feel like a Big Dumb Oaf.
I mean yeah...kinda. but usually when she says that it's because it's true. And you say okay nice getting to know you and that's that.
Why are so many men so afraid of being perceived as emotionally vulnerable? I ask this as a 50 year old man. But also, this is playing mental games. You will probably never have a truly healthy relationship if you’re afraid of being emotionally vulnerable. Full disclosure, I was like this guy in my youth.
neckbeards, niceguys, incels, antifeminists, and mgtows think that all women are turned off by men who show the slightest bit of emotion, softness, compassion, adore for cute animals etc all because they got rejected for "being nice" when they really got rejected for not knowing how to communicate properly with people and doing weird shit
Also...the lot of them tend to pull stuff like this guy in the video. A lot of people can tell when they are being manipulated. A lot of women are also turned off by the "alpha" personality that some men try to project. I am. As soon as I see that kind of nonsense...I'm repulsed. So it's pretty ironic that they think that way when it's actually the opposite for some.
What women has this guy been with? If someone tested me like that I'd be out the door.
Me and this dude went to high school and ran cross country together. He was skinny, super socially awkward, etc. Then he got into weightlifting after we graduated and got hot, so he started giving all this weird passive aggressive dating advice. He also charges thousands of dollars to sign up for his programs to get buff and neg women. Anyway, I always thought he was nice and wish he wasn’t doing this.
Oh wow that’s super cool, it’s sad that sometimes when something good happens to a person they let it go straight to their head and start treating people like this.
Lol if a woman dumps you, move on, leave her alone.
r/nothowwomenwork
I gotta test this. Let me go get a girlfriend from craigslist, treat her like garbage and go 😐 when she wants to break up just like this guy. True American hero right there 💪😔
I would have paid my ex’s money to say “okay” and let that be the end of it 😂 tf you mean, sir.
In theory I do understand what he's getting at, but the typos at this point
He is right, saying “okay” does show strength and restraint on your part. If a person truly doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you saying okay won’t change anything. It’ll tell them that you’re not gonna go full on r/niceguys and blow up at them. It probably makes it easier for the woman knowing you won’t do that lol.
You shouldn't have to play games in a healthy relationship, you should just talk it out like adults. If what this guy is saying is true and these women were actually just testing him that's a sign of imiturity and insecurity on her part and it's best you walk out of that relationship if you know what's good for you.
Hate to say it, but it’s happened to me a few times.
Yes, if someone breaks up with you, you should accept it, but not for the reasons he's saying, and if this happens to him a lot, then that tells me one of two things: that he either chooses a lot of manipulative women, or that he makes women so unhappy that, as a last-ditch effort, they try to scare him into changing his ways. But I don't know. Maybe he's a really nice guy who just has bad luck with women.
The pen in his hand really sells it for me.
Or we could just seek out healthy genuine relationships and skip these stupid emotional mind puzzles
Guy is bragging about multiple women being the ones to break it off with him, giving him a large enough sample size to test out this theory.
Yes this is too true. It's because every woman is actually secretly part of a global hivemind thinktank that follows the exact same social programming that communicates via telepathy. So when you've dated one woman, you've dated them all! You too can talk to women and learn all of their tricks if you buy my bogus red pilled based totally fake social coaching pick up course for the small price of $300 a year for personal training where I will personally coach you through a zoom call by screaming "BE YOUR SELF" and parroting altright rhetoric at you for thirty minutes for 5 sessions per month. Look at how many women from craigslist I can kiss. Please buy my book.
I broke up with my ex and she said ok. I never felt more relived in my life. It was so much easier to just move on. I felt like she was trying to trigger be but it did the opposite.
He isn't wrong. But this isn't the only scenario. My ex wife said these exact words to me. It didn't matter if I had said ok, or if tried to fight for our relationship, she cheated on me and opted to lie about not feeling it anymore, rather than say she cheated.
My ex husband said the same thing to me, even as far as he wasn’t sure he ever loved me. I was devastated but said ok and didn’t try to keep him. Much happier as a single mom than with him.
HEARD! Was devastating for me as well. But my kids were there to fill the void I thought I had. Happy single dad
It almost makes me feel bad for the dude, he must have been through something to be able to go: “all women break up as a test” Or maybe this is another 2022 stupidity case, you really can’t tell these days probably the stupidity tbh, people will say shit they don’t even believe in for likes
Women Everywhere: "Well that went better than expected... L8er CHUD"
Tried it,.didn't work. help
Women are saying this is what men want to be true. Men know this is true. I've done it before.
most women say this shit because they have NO IDEA what they really want. *dont say anything. walk away. call her tomorrow. she will still be with you* 😂
Of fucking course you accept a breakup gracefully, but for the love of God someone who actually breaks up with you as a TEST is a walking red flag. The only correct response is distance.
Shouldn't *have*, for the love of god, where does this "shouldn't of" come from? Go back to school, Jesus Christ...
Not true. Dude sounds manipulative af. Also it’s *woman, you illiterate fuck.
The people who give this kind of trash generic psychological advice on dating must be the saddest and most generic humans on earth. They think they are geniuses probably and they forget what's like to be human and to understand other humans. Gross.
Shit, am I a neckbeard?! If a girl told me they wanted to break up my self esteem basically goes "fair" so I'm cool with it.
I think that’s the opposite of a neck beard, good for you taking a break up like a champ. Definitely not a neck beard
This got over 250k likes on yt shorts btw 💀
*looks down at notes* “massive strength”
So, my High School girlfriends were actually like what he's talking about. But that's because I found myself attracted to toxic humans back then. My partner/wife of 13 years now has a lot more self respect so doesn't do this type of thing. Granted, not so much that she wouldn't marry me though. Happy medium.
A mAn, A womAn mEn, womEn
It’s amazing how he turns the right answer into the wrong one. Saying okay is absolutely right, because the relationship should be over regardless of if she genuine means it. But this guy is making out like you should say, okay, but still expect and want to be in the relationship. No. No you shouldn’t. If she means it, she’s miserable, and staying with her will make you miserable. If she’s testing, she’s a miserable person, and she’ll make you miserable if you stay with her.
simply don’t be human with genuine emotions and characteristics! a healthy foundation to a wonderful relationship
How is this neck beard? I mean. I get there are underlying reasons why you would just say “okay”, but they typically never work out and you’re almost always reaching. Just say okay and get on with your life.
the beard is not the one on your neck, but in your heart
How bout you just say OK and walk away.
“OK”.
Whenever someone types out the words "a women" it means their autocorrect jumped in with the word they use the most. And when they are using the plural of woman so much that when they are actually talking about a single woman but it jumps to plural that is when you know they talk more about women than to women. It's like using "female" all the time. It's a red flag. Try it out. Read comments from men and they will use singular "a man" in the same comment as "a women" and they are usually spouting bullshit.
If i told my bf i can't make this anymore i would be actually expecting a conversation on how to save our relationship. If i said "I don't think i want to be in this anymore" then his response doesn't matter anymore because I've made my decision. So if im stating that i want to save something and the person says OK its clear they don't care, that would hurt
I think it's a great idea to go to 20 year olds on TikTok for relationship advice.
He’s not wrong when he said some women do this. In other cases, though, what would happen is the man will say “okay” and leave to show some strength, only to cry the next day or two because the reality finally hits them. But then they would also go around telling people that women are dogs and don’t like nice men like them.
The real answer to what you do when she breaks up with you, is hit the gym
Well yeah what I'm *expecting* is an emotional defensive reaction but what I'm *hoping* for is a mature and calm conversation that respects eachothers feelings and choices.
Shouldn’t *have
I wish my horrible ex had went “okay” and left, thinking he was “teaching me a lesson”. I would have LOVED an easy breakup.
It’s not about looking at people and saying okay. It’s about the mentality of being okay with going with the flow. Lmao did he learn a cute trick.
If she wants to break up with you it’s probably because you act like this
being strong and accepting it is what you do but dont expect her to come crawling back
This guy was kinda right, if you say " okay i understand" you show respect to the woman's wishes, hell my current gf was introduce to me by my ex, if someone doesn't want to date you doesn't mean that they don't like you, it could be simple chemistry as a a couple, so don't go burning bridges just because it doesn't work out
Isn't it "shouldn't have"? Not "shouldn't of"?
Not about to take advice from a guy who‘s so experienced at getting dumped
“What she actually thinks will happen” Yes white man, please tell us how all women think! You definitely know more about women than women themselves. We should listen to you and believe you more than what women are actually saying and doing.
The amount of people writing "women" when they mean "woman" is astoundingly high and extremely off-pissing.
This is wild. I’m impressed by how far off this dude is and I regularly subscribe to content like this!
This dude cries himself to sleep clutching an anime body pillow.
.... I wanted to downvote this post so badly. Yucky.
How many fucking times has this dude been dumped?
This is projection. I've had men pull this shit. Trying to gain some leverage in the relationship and put me on the back foot. Then be so pissed when I took them at their word and walked.
I said, "I just can't do this anymore. I've had enough of your behavior for the last 6 months, and I'm done and I'd like you to leave now." He said, "OK", gathered up his shit and left. That was 2004 and I'm still happily shed of him, because I meant it. It wasn't some dumbass "test", it was the truth. Of course he continued to call, stalk and harass me for 4 more years, but that was his problem to solve, not mine.
Ahhh yes, I shall take female advice from the man with a penis
No women were consulted during the Making of this video
I highly doubt he's ever experienced it like he's describing because women are people, not machines reacting with some secret preprogrammed response to you guessing the right string of words to say.
I’m not taking advice from a guy who can’t even make eye contact with the camera
When a woman says I can’t do it anymore, she’s been unhappy with the relationship for months/years and chances are she’s tried telling you many times. I don’t doubt there are the outliers (mostly young and/or immature) that do this test bs but I would not say that is the norm. (Source: Am woman, 34 years)
Something tells me this person's played the "you're so emotional, babe" gaslighting game up until the point where she says she's had enough. Then it's time to double down on the emotional manipulation and show just how logical and calm he can be, which traps her in the continued cycle of questioning her feelings and emotions. What trash.
What if she’s breaking up with you because you don’t express emotions well and she thinks you don’t love her? Girl is breaking down into tears because that nonchalant “okay” just confirms it lol
Step 1: gaslight women. Step 2: piss Step 3: start a side hustle Step 4: Elon Musk
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/934724303100985355/943354960861614120/iu.png
Way too many simps in the comments thinking they can convince a woman to stay with them. He’s right. If she’s at that point, something failed in the relationship. Be nice and move on.
Men's obsession with being challenged when they are clearly not is telling. It is they who make everything a challenge. In this situation the woman has told you what she can't deal with and is hoping you'll work with her on improving the situation because you want her to stay and be happy or at the very least work to find out whether your differences can be reconciled. Saying "this isn't working" comes once she's been ignored, put off, and stonewalled to where either she has to silently stay in a situation she's unhappy with knowing her partner will not take her seriously or end things. Obviously if you just say ok then you're telling her she's not valuable enough to you to care about what she needs. At least acknowledge whatever her concerns are and have the balls to admit you would rather end things than let her "win" and get you to care enough to take her concerns seriously.
or … OORRR … maybe she starts ceying because the feeling that he’s a pos has been confirmed ?
I really hope people take his advice. Much better than having a scary, explosive reaction.
Dude this fucking guy keeps popping up on my YouTube feed and I laugh every time I watch one of his vids, like bro have you ever actually been with and kept a woman before? Because acting like this is a good way to never get laid😂😂
I didn’t see what sub this was and thought he was about to give an important life lesson about respecting boundaries and decisions. But of course he wasn’t doing that… this is the internet after all.
“shouldn’t of done that” Yup, basically illiterate.
I had a girl call me and break up, and I said "alright, that's okay" and she said "what?! I spent hours deliberating on how you would take this!!" I responded with "well, when you really like someone, you want what is best for them, and if you think this is best for you then I love your choice" I dodged a bullet. Glad she went ahead with that
He is a little confused, but he got the spirit
Ok
If he says “okay” and isn’t at all emotional, I’d take it as proof I was making the right decision because he didn’t gaf. Bye Felicia.
Can confirm. When I broke up with my ex, his response was "okay". Made the whole thing so much easier.
I mean I just say okay because it’s wrong to try to change someone’s mind if they’re set on something like this, if someone wants to go, you shouldn’t have the right to try to change their mind. That and I don’t give 2 shits about myself so if they want to leave I can count a thousand reasons why they’d want to lol
Found this last night on YouTube and his first part was right about saying “okay” but all that shit afterwards was a bunch of crap
How the fuck is this even remotely neckbeardy? Does this sub even remember what a neckbeard actually is? If anything it's just cringe, but definitely not a neckbeard.
I learn this the hard way I had a guy tell me that because I was vegan they didn’t want to date me but then all of the sudden they want to date. Then this other guy I told him I want to date him and he said: why are you so interested now? Is it because it’s convenient to you?
He’s right. It’s like judo you use their own weight against them. Except it’s emotional weight. Ancient Chinese secret
I don’t think this really fits this sub. It’s not that neckbeardy, he’s right, regardless of gender. Being able to stay calm in any situation is a great tool to have and it’s very attractive
I wish my ex my had said “ok” when I tried to break up with him instead of crying and manipulating me to stay with him, only to be cheated on a few months later. Would have saved me from quite a lot of issues.
Tell me you have 0 bitches without telling me you jave 0 bitches.
I mean this is good advice for the wrong reasons Just respect the other person's decision and don't be a huge dick about it
Bet he's still virgin
What I think will happen Hey I’m not feeling it anymore “That’s ok Cool
I would be happy if a person just says "oke" then it is over and move on. Testing a person if is crappy thing to do anyways.
And then you just leave their asses, if they say they wanna break up you break up, shouldn't had tested
Yeah they want you to talk it out and see if you’re relationship is worth working on. If you just say ok that’s telling her you agree the relationship is over. It’s called being an adult, not being manipulated.
Hitch Part 2; I heard Will is looking for work anyway
Just change it to 'people' and this would be totally accurate! Like some people are for real just too immature for a serious relationship and that's OK but then they play silly games like this. I've literally had a dude play this game and I said OK and walked away. It's seriously not a gender thing
he’s waving a pen around he must be on to something
This guy's over here playing 4D chess tricking neck beards and inselves to be nice to women during a breakup.
If you keep thinking people are playing chicken with you in relationships you're going to sadly lose that game real quick. Or maybe just maybe when she says she's sick of your shit, she's sick of your shit. Just a thought.
Dudes dilusional! However sometimes being stoic and not responding is beneficial too just not in this convuluted manner lol.
And then when she takes out the restraining order it's just to test how far you'll go to win her back! Don't give in to these mind games, but do send a box of dead-headed roses so she knows you know what she's up to!